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Dear My Past, Why Didn't You Kill Yourself?

Summary:

Karma, Nagisa, and Gakushuu didn't know how all this happened. Why were there two Gakushuu? Why was the younger one gripping a rope?

or: The three of them somehow time-traveled to when Gakushuu was still seven and suicidal and tried to convince the older Gakushuu to save the child instead of encouraging him to die.

Notes:

I love hurt/comfort and I love Gakushuu.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Gakushuu didn't understand how all this happened.

 

Neither did Karma.

 

Neither did Nagisa.

 

Karma was just mocking Gakushuu who he suddenly found leaning against the empty E classroom. Nagisa was just following Karma who had just sparred with him after school. Gakushuu was just trying to ignore the two and not answer, though he knew it was useless since they were actually trapped in the old building while it was raining heavily outside.

 

Karma was just taunting and kept taunting, ignoring Nagisa who tried to stop him. Gakushuu was just walking quickly out of the room, planning to break through the rain instead. Nagisa was just chasing after him, catching his arm and making him stop. Karma and Nagisa were both surprised to see the plaster on Gakushuu's cheek because there was no way he was fighting.

 

Gakushuu was just thinking his life was so broken, why did he have to meet these two people right after his whole class watched him fly into a wall? Why did everyone have to witness his weakness today? Why did his life have to be like this?

 

Why didn't he manage to kill himself when he was seven so that he wouldn't have to live a life like this?

 

The three of them then heard a loud thunderclap, closed their eyes for a moment, and then the rain stopped.

 

The rain stopped.

 

The afternoon sky stretched proudly, with not a single trace of rain. It was as if it had been only cloudy all day.

 

Before they had time to process what was going on, the three of them heard the cries of a small child from inside the classroom.

 

Karma said it was a ghost. Nagisa said it might be a lost child who needed help. Gakushuu tried not to care but still followed the red and blue back to class, a bad feeling in his gut.

 

Orange hair.

 

Huh?

 

The little boy came into view through the nearest window, bringing the three's steps to a halt.

 

Orange hair. Violet eyes. Pale skin. Crying.

 

"He looks like you, Asano," Karma whispered, not serious, not meaning anything by it. Just a joke as usual.

 

Gakushuu didn't answer.

 

Nagisa slowly walked, about to approach the boy. He thought he was definitely not a ghost. But Gakushuu stopped him.

 

Nagisa gulped at the expression on Gakushuu's face. An emotion he'd never seen, and never expected to see from the student council president.

 

Gakushuu was... terrified. Absolutely terrified. His eyes were wide, his body trembling.

 

Karma glanced at the little boy inside. Why was Gakushuu so scared? Is that child really a ghost?

 

Orange hair. Violet eyes. Pale skin. Crying.

 

Huh?

 

The part of his body that was not covered by clothes showed several bruises.

 

Huh?

 

His fingers tightly grasped a thick, strong-looking rope, trying to make a knot that didn't work because he was shaking violently.

 

"That child..." Karma widened his eyes and immediately gave Gakushuu a sharp look.

 

"That.. is me."

Notes:

Pray for me