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Up on the Kamiyama roof stood a figure.
Just as I was about to take my shoes
Off of the rooftop there I see
One all too familiar.
A girl with braided hair there before me
Despite myself I go and scream;
"Hey! Don't do it, please…!"
Why’d I say that? Why should I care if this person dies or not?
Whoa, wait a minute, what did I just say?
I couldn't care less either way
To be honest I was somewhat pissed;
This was an opportunity missed
I shouldn’t have stopped them, why did I?
Then again, if I didn’t stop them, I wouldn’t be here today, would I?
The girl with braided hair told me her woes
"You've probably heard it all before; I really thought that he may be the one. But then he told me he was done"
I clench my fists. I remember that day, end of elementary school. I confessed to this guy, he didn’t like me back. So what? Not worth killing myself over! How pathetic.
“For God's sakes please! Are you serious? I just can't believe, that for some stupid reason you got here before me! Are you upset 'cause you can't have what you wanted? You're lucky that you've never gotten robbed of anything!”
I scream, she looks frightened, what do I care?
"I'm feeling better, thank you for listening!"
The girl with braided hair then disappeared
I’ll try again tomorrow. Classes start now anyways, slipping my shoes back on, I head back inside the school.
"Alright, today's the day" or so I thought
Just as I took both of my shoes off—
Returning to the roof the next day, there’s another person there. Are you kidding? Can’t I kill myself in peace!?
There was but a girl short as can be
Despite myself, I go and scream
Why’d I do that again? So what if this girl wants to jump? Who am I to stop her?
Ah, right. I wouldn’t be alive now, would I?
The petite girl told me her woes
"You've probably heard it all before; everyone ignores me, everyone steals. I don't fit in with anyone here."
Ugh, middle school… was okay. One minute I was invisible, the next I had somehow “lost” all my belongings. It was such a drag, but everything went downhill from there. I’m pissed though, does this girl- did I really see something as petty as being robbed and being invisible as a good reason to kill myself!? How pathetic.
“For God's sakes please! Are you serious? I just can't believe, that for some stupid reason you got here before me! 'Cause even so, you're still loved by everyone at home!
There's always dinner waiting on the table, you know?”
I exclaim, causing the girl to flinch. A slight smile appears on her face. Let her enjoy a happy family while it lasts, only a matter of time before he ruins it…
"I'm hungry." Said the girl as she shed a tear
The girl short as can be then disappeared
The next day and everyday after, I’d see someone… myself. Everyday, on the Kamiyama rooftop. I would be there, convincing myself not to jump. Everyday, it’d work. I’d get through to myself.
And like that, there was someone every day
I listened to their tale, I made them turn away
And yet there was no one who would do this for me, no way I could
Let out all this pain
No one knew I was coming to the roof. Good. It’s better that way.
For the very first time, there I see
Someone with the same pains as me
Having done this time and time again
She wore a yellow cardigan
This is me. Me, as I am now. Standing right in front of me, bearing the same scars and pain I am.
"I just wanna stop the scars that grow, every time that I go home. That's why I came up here instead"
That's what the girl in the cardigan said
She slaps her hands over her mouth. “Why’d I say that?” Is probably what she’s thinking.
Whoa, wait a minute, what did I just say?
I couldn't care less either way
But in the moment I just screamed
Something that I did not believe-
“Hey, don't do it, please…!"
Agh- what to do!? I can't stop this girl, oh this is new! For once I think I've bitten off more than I can chew!
“-But even so, please just go away so I can see. Your pitiful expression is just too much for me!” That expression, it’s pissing me the hell off. I want her gone.
"I guess today is just not my day"
She looked away from me and then she disappeared
A sigh of relief escapes my mouth. I’ll do it tomorrow, I guess. I should head to class.
There's no one here today, I guess it's time. It's just me, myself and I
Finally. I’m alone. Finally, I can end all this.
(A door closes, “Ena!!” In the distance. Someone else is on the rooftop.)
There's no one who can interfere
No one to get in my way here
(Footsteps, getting closer. That person didn’t expect to see anyone else on the rooftop.)
I smile. No more will I have to deal with my father telling me I’m not good enough, no more will all this self-loathing eat me up inside. Finally, Finally, I’ll be at peace.
Taking off my yellow cardigan, watching my braids all come undone. This petite girl short as can be, is gonna jump now and be fre—
“ ENA-!!” A hand grabs my arm, pulling me into a hug.
What…? I thought no one else was… Oh. Mizuki. Mizuki must’ve come to school today. How foolish of me. I said I’d wait then almost killed myself. How selfish.
“Ena! What the hell were you thinking!?” They hug me tighter. They aren’t letting go, they’re crying. I’m crying. Just like that day where I saved them…
I still need to live, I can’t die yet.