Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Robin leafed through old documents. It was the tenth day of their search and they were nearly to the last boxes. But they had to find something.

Everything on Grima had been erased from existence. It was like it never happened, except...It did. All of it did.

They pushed aside the last box. "You've got to be kidding," Robin muttered. "How on Earth is there nothing on Fellbloods...?"

A cream-colored folder caught their eye, causing the sentence to trail off. It was marked with a jet black symbol that made it very clear what the subject was. They slowly opened it and saw a thick sheaf of papers titled 'Fellblood project'. They carefully lifted the papers onto his desk and stared at the first one. Just staring at it, not even making a move to start reading.

They sat there for nearly ten minutes, just contemplating. Deciding. Did they really want to know?

...

Yes.

Yes, they had to.

Chapter Text

Eight years earlier

A set of footsteps echoed through the large hallway. Most didn’t hear it- they were too fast asleep. However, one boy did. He was trained to be a light sleeper and to wake at the slightest of sounds. Now, he laid in bed, trying to determine his next course of action.

The door creaked open.

He jumped, catching the rail that went around his room, and swung himself up to study the intruder.

Well, turns out it wasn’t an intruder.

The kid in the doorway had frozen at the sudden movements, wondering if they had entered the wrong room, but they exhaled in relief as they saw the occupant of the room was precisely who they had been looking for.

“Milan,” the younger child whispered. “You can come down now, r-right? I-It’s just me. Your father is still asleep. It’s too early for him to rise.”

The boy still hanging on the rail chuckled as he realized how the scene must have looked to Robin. He quickly dropped back onto his bed and beckoned for Robin to sit next to him. They scampered onto the bed and ever so slightly leaned into Milan’s side. It was then that the older boy noticed that his little sibling (or as close to one as he’d get, anyway) was shaking and ice-cold to the touch.

Milan’s protective instincts immediately kicked into action and he gathered Robin into his arms, drawing them closer. He felt tears stain his shirt, but couldn’t bring himself to care. He ran his hand through Robin’s soft white hair, muttering soothing words to calm the kid down.

Eventually, Robin stopped shaking and was no longer crying, which Milan took as a sign to ask a few questions.

“Hey, kiddo,” he said softly. Robin’s head snapped up, wide brown eyes coming to meet Milan’s purple ones. They looked alarmed, which only served to make Milan more concerned. Usually Robin was very comfortable with him.

The older boy drew Robin back into a hug. “Do you want to talk about it?” Milan muttered.

Robin nodded quickly. Milan sighed. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to, dove. I think it would help, but we can just go back to sleep if you’d like to.”

“No,” they said quietly. “I- I want to talk. Er, if that’s okay…?” Robin’s voice trailed off, and they buried their face back into Milan’s shirt.

Milan tilted their head up, forcing Robin to meet his eyes. He knew that they wanted to make him happy, but they clearly wanted to let the matter rest. “In the morning?”

Robin let out a sigh of relief and nodded quickly, then immediately clamped a hand over their mouth and tensed back up. Milan quickly wrapped his arms around the younger for the third time that night, quietly reminding Robin that they were safe with him, they didn’t have to apologize for anything. That seemed to do the trick, as they finally went limp.

Milan laid Robin down in his bed, deciding that it would be better to have Robin sleep with him. He stayed up for a little while, keeping a close eye on the door, but finally succumbed to the urge of sleep.

o0O0o

When Milan woke, he immediately noticed that Robin was gone. His first sleep- addled thought was that they had simply gone back to their own room, but, as his vision became clearer, he saw the door was flung open and the sun was just peeking over the horizon.

His first clear, logical thought was that one of their fathers had snuck into his room and taken Robin. So he swung his robe on and ran down the hallway to the training room, not bothering to ask anyone where Robin had gone. None of them were allowed to talk to him, and none would really want to either. That was part of the reason he and Robin were so close.

As he neared the training room, his suspicions that someone had taken Robin were highly increased, if not confirmed. He could hear shouting and cries, although the actual words were muffled. Milan shook his head in disbelief- the fact that he could hear it from this far away certainly didn’t bode well.

He slammed the door open, then stopped dead in his tracks. Robin wasn’t in immediate danger, that was clear- but what confused him was why he wasn’t in immediate danger.

A girl was standing in front of their curled form. Tears were streaming down her cheeks and blood matted down her black hair, but she still stood in front of a scowling Validar.

Milan’s brain finally kicked in and he ran towards the kids, stopping in front of the girl and spreading his arms to protect her. His duty was to protect them, and Validar be damned, he’d do that.

The girl sobbed quietly behind him. “Thank you,” she whispered.

“Check on Robin,” he said, not bothering to lower his voice. “Make sure they're okay.” He turned back to Validar. “I think this has gone on enough.”

Validar’s scowl deepened. “You dare to tell me what to do?”

Milan didn’t waver. In fact, he grew stronger because of Validar’s obvious discomfort. Here was a low-born, adopted Plegian (scum in almost everyone’s eyes) who had the gall to suggest Validar’s course of action. Validar, second in line to the throne. He drew himself up and replied simply, “Yes.”

Validar’s eyes glowed a sick red, and Milan quickly closed his. He laid a magic- dispelling spell over the area. It was quite basic and wouldn’t take long for Validar to break through, but Milan only needed a few seconds.

“Isn’t Robin your perfect creation?” he spit. “You’re really willing to throw that away? And for what, a training session when they're still half-asleep? Give it a rest, and let them recover.”

The mage sent Milan a deathly glare before gathering his robes and sweeping out of the room. As soon as he was gone, Milan removed the spell and rushed to Robin’s side. They didn’t look great. Milan counted several bruises and cuts, even a burn mark. Validar really must have woken up on the wrong side of the bed.

“C’mon,” he said to the girl. “Let’s get them back to their room.”

She hesitated. “Um…I’m not supposed to be seen. Technically I’m not supposed to be here at all. I don’t know if that’s…I mean, I want to, but…” She looked hopelessly up at Milan, who paused.

He unclasped his robe and draped it over the girl, pulling the hood up as far as it would go. He saw the minute that understanding dawned in the girl’s eyes. She nodded in approval of his plan.

Milan hoisted Robin’s limp body over his shoulder and peered out the door. No one was near, so he started down the hallway as fast as he could.

The door to Robin’s room was ajar. The girl ducked inside first, then Milan followed. He assumed that the rest of the day would be rather straightforward and uneventful, but apparently the universe still wasn’t done torturing him.

Robin’s mother Adrienne sat on the bed, her back turned to them. She appeared to be reading. Milan didn’t make a sound, and neither did the girl.

Eventually Adrienne rose and turned. Milan could spot the exact moment that she saw them, as she froze mid-step.

The girl made a move to wave to her, but Milan pushed her hand back down and quickly strode over to the bed, mentally berating himself for forgetting about Robin’s current state. The kid's breathing was shallow, but luckily his pulse was strong.

“What’s your name?” Adrienne asked the girl softly. That was how Milan remembered her. Soft-spoken, meek and easily swayed. How someone like her had been Robin’s rock of comfort Milan couldn’t fathom.

The girl shifted awkwardly. “It’s Khalida,” she said in an equally quiet voice. Milan had to keep from chuckling. Seems that the two women were similar. If they looked more alike, Milan would guess that they were related. However, Adrienne looked like she was made of snow. She had long white hair rather like Robin’s, and pale skin. Her eyes were brown, cold, and distant. Khalida, on the other hand, had soft, dark skin, braided black hair, and vibrant blue eyes. Milan shook his head vigorously and turned back to Robin.

“Toss me the bandages?” he called to Adrienne. A second later, she appeared at his side holding a tangled mess of bandages. He took them with a sigh and began to carefully straighten it out. It was soothing to be able to do something familiar amidst all the chaos, but Milan wasn’t entirely calm, with Robin passed out right in front of him.

Khalida and Adrienne made idle talk as Milan worked to patch Robin up. Luckily they weren't too badly hurt. It looked like Khalida had gotten there before Validar could do too much.

Almost immediately after Milan finished, Robin’s eyes flew open. Their usually sweet brown eyes were wide and their breath came in strangled gasps. They scrambled towards the opposite end of the bed, away from Milan. Adrienne and Khalida immediately ceased their conversation. Khalida made no move to approach, but Adrienne walked slowly towards Robin.

They let out a pained whimper and pressed themself even further into the wall. Milan stayed where he was, mindful that approaching Robin without consent would lead to further panic. However, Adrienne kept walking.

She sat next to Robin and slowly extended her hand to cover theirs. Their breathing hitched, which made Milan want to throw the woman out of a window, but then it evened out. Their shaking lessened. Hesitantly, they looked to Milan, then pressed themself into their mother’s side.

Milan sat on their other side, wanting to provide comfort for them if they decided to move. Khalida sat on Milan’s right, leaning against the wall but close enough that Milan could feel her presence.

Robin fell asleep first, clearly exhausted from the day so far. Next was Khalida, who fell onto Milan’s shoulder as soon as she went limp. That just left Milan and Adrienne.

The woman made a move to stand, but Milan shook his head slowly, so as to not disturb the kids. “Stay here,” he hissed. “Robin’s giving you another chance, one that I don’t think you deserve. Don’t be so stupid as to throw it away.”

She studied him curiously. “You...care for them, don’t you?”

“Like a sibling,” he returned. “And I’d never leave them. Not like you. So stay here with them.”

She shook her head sadly. “They won’t give me another chance. You know they're not in the best headspace right now.”

Milan rolled his eyes. He couldn’t believe this woman. “So give them a reason to trust you,” he said plainly, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world, because to him it was.

Adrienne gave no sign that Milan’s words had reached her.

But she sat back down.

Chapter Text

Six years before

The first thing Robin felt was the cold wooden floor.

Then the pain hit them- sharp and apparent in every part of their body. It felt like drowning in fire. They couldn’t breathe, they doubted they could speak, it was just too cold, but too hot at the same time.

They felt like retching, but held the urge down. They planted their hands on the floor and pushed themself up, arms shaking violently from the weight, then fell again. Pushed themself up again, only to fall.

One of those days, then.

They laid on the floor, hoping that Khalida was off today and she would find them eventually. Their thoughts almost supplied Milan, but luckily they were able to push that memory aside before it overwhelmed them.

Blood. Too much blood.

The door to the training room was pushed open with a creak. Robin heard a gasp and footsteps running towards them. They tried to lift their head but couldn’t. Their body felt like it was made of lead.

The person knelt down next to them. Robin caught a glimpse of white hair. A surge of adrenaline rushed through them and they scrambled away to the opposite side of the room, only to go limp against the wall once the rush wore off.

His mother stared at them like they were an alien. She stood, and walked towards them, leaving a couple feet of distance, but looking for all the world like a normal concerned parent. The kind of look Robin had seen on Khalida’s mother, on his own father before he…

Screaming. Cries that he could barely recognize as his own.

Robin wished that they could hit themself. That usually snapped the memories away.

“Honey?” Adrienne asked, not bothering to lower her voice, probably for fear that Robin wouldn’t hear her. “What…what did he do to you?”

They squeezed their eyes shut. Adrienne’s voice was just too loud, everything was too loud, too bright.

 “Since when d’you care,” they managed to say. “Where’s Khalida?”

Adrienne was clearly hurt by their words, but she quickly brushed it aside. “She’s in her room.” This time her voice was lower. “Do you want me to get her for you?”

That shook Robin out of their half-dazed state. They shook their head vigorously. “N-no, no, ‘m fine, ‘m fine. Can- Can you leave? Just in case h-he comes back. I don’t-”

Adrienne swiftly stepped over to them and wrapped them in a hug. Robin knew it was an act of compassion, but it just- It just reminded them so much of Milan.

A soft smile on the boy’s face as he went limp.

Their breath sped up.

Blood on his hands.

They tried to push the woman away.

Glassy purple eyes.

She was still holding on to them.

A disgusting smile on their father’s face.

They needed her to let go, to just get away-

“Well done, my child.”

She was too close, still there, please just get away

The teen trusted them.

They sobbed, still writhing in her grasp get away get off-

A nightmare, that’s all it was, just a nightmare.

The door again. No no no no no not now no no

The voice in their head.

New footsteps. She finally let go of them.

HE TRUSTED THEM.

Words. Words they can’t hear, the fog is too thick-

THEY FAILED HIM.

THEY FAILED HIM.

THEY COULDN’T CONTROL IT.

THEIR FAULT,

ALL

THEIR

FAULT.

They gasped and shot up, nearly hitting the girl in the face. She sprung backwards, then quickly rushed back to their side.

Robin didn’t even need to look to know who this was. They did anyway and regretted it, because of the concerned look on her face. It made them feel sick because they didn’t deserve it. She knew what happened, she knew what they were, she knew they didn’t deserve comfort, and yet she still gave it.

“Robin? Stay with me. No one’s here except us, alright? You’re fine. No one is coming for you.” She hesitated. “Can…Um, hug?”

They nodded weakly. Khalida was safe, probably the only trustworthy person in this whole damned country.

She wrapped her arms around them and they instantly relaxed, leaning into her warmth. They felt their eyes grow heavy and fought to stay conscious. They couldn’t fall asleep yet.

Robin slowly pushed Khalida away. They stared down at their hands, instinctively moving their left to cover their right. They'd been doing it for years- it was second nature at this point.

“Um…I’m sorry…” they said slowly.

Khalida was genuinely confused. “For what? What happened?”

They awkwardly fidgeted with the cuff of their robe. “For- for being such a problem. You were probably doing something else and now you have to look after me. So- sorry.”

“Oh.” She reached out and tilted their head up. They flinched back at the touch, but met her ocean blue eyes. She looked almost upset, which only served to make Robin more worried. “Robin, don’t apologize for that. I wasn’t doing anything important, and even if I was it wouldn’t be a problem. I like helping you. It gives me a sort of purpose.”

Robin exhaled slowly. “Oh- okay.”

There was a few minutes of silence between them. Robin just staring at their hands, Khalida staring at them.

Finally Khalida spoke. “I’ve started training.”

Robin snapped their head up. “Really? A-as what? That’s amazing!”

She ducked her head, but Robin saw a smile slowly creep across her face. “Nothing particular in mind. So far it’s just general strength training, but the idea of an archer did always appeal to me. I like using a bow.”

“You’d probably end up stuck near a healer, then,” Robin muttered to themself. “Archers rarely use armor. Not very smart of them, is it?”

Khalida laughed. “I’m going to be different! I’ll wear tons of armor and still be able to draw my bow! The greatest archer in Plegia!” She mimed drawing a bow and firing it. “I’d be so good, the Grimleal wouldn’t dare to mess with me!”

Robin smiled without humor. “That’s definitely one way to look at it. But what happens if someone sneaks up close to you? Bows are long-ranged weapons- how would you deal with that?”

“I’d have daggers on me, too,” Khalida said confidently. “That way if someone gets close to me, I drop my bow and bam! They’re dead!”

“Mhm. And what if you have no daggers left? Or you’re surrounded by multiple enemies?” Robin was curious, they had to admit, but they also wanted to make sure that Khalida knew how to deal with every situation that arose.

“Ideally I’d have shot them down before they got that close,” she said with a shrug. “But hypothetically, I’d grab an arrow and stab them that way.”

“Hypothetically, you’re out of arrows.”

“I run,” she admitted sheepishly. “Not everyone can face every situation, right? Maybe not the strongest archer in Plegia.”

Robin shook their head. “No, that makes you smart. If someone were to stand in that situation and stay there, having no weapons beyond their bow, I’d call them an idiot. It’s better to retreat and fight another day than to die and lose all you stand for.”

Khalida rolled her eyes. “I’m not so sure that anyone in this country would agree with your logic, sound as it is. Hey, that reminds me. You’re pretty smart. Look at how effortlessly you delivered those situations, making sure I was ready for anything. I’d say you have a future in tactics, my friend.”

“Me? A tactician? No. No way.” Robin shook their head furiously to accompany the words. They weren't even that smart, no way smart enough to be a tactician.

Khalida chuckled and ruffled their hair. “Whatever you say, Robin.”

“Besides,” they muttered, “I’m more drawn to magic myself.”

There was a moment of stunned silence. Robin began to fear that they'd said something wrong, but their doubts (and their eardrums) were shattered by a high-pitched scream from Khalida.

“Oh my gods, you’re so right!” she gasped. “Tactician mage combo!”

“What? No, I meant-”

“Whatever you say, I’m still going to insist, because I’m right! You’re totally gonna be a great tactician and mage, Robin! Imagine us fighting battles together! You could make sure I live!” She was practically bouncing with excitement at that point.

Robin chuckled halfheartedly. Maybe she was right.

Chapter Text

“Oh, grow up.”

A dark shadow flicked in and out of Robin’s vision. It was never there for more than a second, but every time it filled them with revulsion.

“If you cannot handle this then you’ll have no future here in Plegia. You’d be better off submitting yourself as a Ylissean prisoner.”

Robin clenched their hands into fists and spun around, expecting to see the speaker behind him, but there was no one there. Everyone had gone, everyone except Robin and him.

A low chuckle sounded from all around them. “Trying to find me, I see. For what purpose? Looking to cause me pain? That won’t solve anything, you know that. Grow up and move on.”

Slowly, carefully, Robin stepped away from the limp figure behind them and towards the exit. They tried to empty their mind, to once again pretend that this was just a training exercise and that they'd exit the dark room to find Khalida, ready to offer a hand and distract them with her training progress.

Once again, their mind betrayed them. If it was a training exercise no one would be gone

The shadow flickered again, this time to their left. They turned and almost slipped on the slick tiles. In the time they were distracted the presence had skulked away again.

They took a deep breath, trying to quell their racing thoughts. It worked to some extent; the events that had just transpired were no longer at the front of their mind. They were still there, but not their main concern any longer. They could finally focus on leaving.

They carefully walked forward, mindful of the fact that he was hiding in the shadows, ready to strike at any moment. There was also a high chance that he had left traps for Robin, because nothing could ever be easy, could it?

They stopped and froze in the middle of the room. There was a glint of metal in front of them, which made them extremely wary, seeing as the room was made out of stone and wood. They picked up a stray pebble and tossed it forward, wincing as it made contact with metal. A second later there was a snap and a crack, and Robin continued forward.

They stopped short once they were standing in front of the door. There was no way they could just leave. He had been standing, watching him, the entire time, and he was just going to let Robin leave? No. Something was off.

“What’s wrong, child?” he whispered. “Don’t you want to leave?”

No. The whole situation was just so incredibly wrong. Robin backtracked, scanning the area around them for anything that would hint at what they had to do.

“Coming back?” He sounded amused. Robin wanted to punch him. “For what? Do you desire more proof of your actions?”

Oh, to hell with it. Robin dashed forward through the doorway. They looked around frantically for any traps, but slowly relaxed as they found there was nothing and no one.

No one might have been a slight exaggeration.

A cold hand was placed on their shoulder. They tensed and snapped their gaze to the floor.

“Always staying alert…Suspecting a trap even when there was nothing to suggest one…” Robin thought they could detect a smile in the words. “You’ve done well.”

The words meant nothing to them anymore. Their success always came with a price, one that he considered fully payable but made Robin want to throw up. Even thinking of what had happened in that room for an instant made them sick to their stomach, and not just because of the sight.

“As such,” he continued, “you may rest before your lessons.” He paused, obviously waiting for something.

Robin swallowed hard. “Thank you,” they spat.

The hand dropped from his shoulder. “Dismissed.”

He walked away, making a show of leaving the door directly behind him open. Maybe he hoped Robin would look back, but the teen walked straight forward, mindlessly taking the quickest route to his room. They could have gone to Khalida, she would have been in her room at this time, but they just wanted to be alone.

They fumbled with the locks on their door for a second, then kneeled in front of his window and said a silent prayer for the souls they had taken. Begging Naga to guide them.

There was a knock on their door. They crossed the room in a few steps and quickly opened the door, expecting to see a servant or Khalida.

Naga apparently had no pity for him that day, because it was her.

They slammed the door shut.

“Robin?” It infuriated them how she could keep her voice calm and gentle even when she was upset. “Open the door, honey.”

“Leave me alone,” they hissed.

“Please. I just want to make sure you’re okay. You’re my child…can’t I care about you?”

“No! No, you can’t!” They slid down the cool wood until they were slouched against it, but still bracing themself hard enough to prevent her from entering. “Why do you keep coming back? Have I not made it clear enough that I don’t want to see you?”

“Please let me in. I want to make sure you’re okay.”

“I’m not. Good enough for you?”

They swore they heard an exasperated sigh. That would be a first. “I’m not in the mood to deal with your sarcasm today, Robin. Let me check up on you. You can’t keep shutting everyone out- literally and metaphorically.”

Robin didn’t reply. She didn’t deserve one.

There was silence for a few minutes, then she finally spoke. “Okay, then. I’ll go. You can come to me if you need anything, okay?”

“Sure.” They waited until they heard her footsteps retreating, then pried themself away from the door and fell onto their bed, curling into themself.

They couldn’t remember how long they stayed like that until Khalida came. She entered without a sound, sat next to them and didn’t speak. Her presence was enough. Just knowing that she was still there was enough, even if Robin had no idea how she was still there.

They had tried to ask her once, but she had just pushed it off and distracted them again. Come to think of it, she was really good at distracting them when there was something she didn’t want to address.

Robin sprang up. “Thank you. I have to go to my lessons now.” Their movements and words were robotic, practiced. They didn’t require any effort for them to complete.

Khalida looked at them curiously. “Okay...I’ll see you later, then.”

They pushed themself up and stiffly walked to the door. They opened it a crack and slipped out, positive they'd be late to their lesson.

Robin hurried down the hall, not pausing for any strange looks they got. They must have been either very late or very early if they were attracting attention. Then again, it could have just been because of him.

They were so stuck in their head that they didn’t notice the kid behind them until they were slammed against the wall, a hand wrapped around their throat. Robin fumbled at the hand, struggling to get a breath out and take stock of the situation at the same point.

The girl who had him pinned against the wall was familiar, but Robin couldn’t place her name at the moment. She was tall, and looked like one of the older kids living at the palace. She had sandy blonde hair that tumbled past her shoulders and bangs that dipped into her bright green eyes, eyes that shone with fury. Her clothes were formal, so perhaps the daughter of a nobleman? It all escaped Robin at the moment.

“How fortunate,” she hissed. “Today was shaping up to be rather dull, but it seems that Grima has granted me a chance to have some entertainment.”

“Who are you again?” Robin asked pleasantly. They would be lying if they said they didn’t enjoy the look of pure rage and humiliation on her face. It was a dark part of them that they liked to keep hidden, but seeing other people fall prey to their feigned ignorance amused them.

She squeezed tighter, provoking a gasp and several coughs from Robin. “I am Aisida!” she roared. “You’d do well to remember it!”

Ah. Now Robin remembered her. She’d sparred against them the day before, and lost horribly. It seemed that she wasn’t someone who could take defeat with grace and acceptance.

“Oh…” Robin coughed. “You. Want to spar again?”

Aisida’s face turned dark with rage. It was interesting- one would think that when someone was so mad that they had you in a chokehold, it wasn’t possible for them to get any more enraged.

“Your mockery insults me. You think that being his whelp grants you any special privileges?” She kneed him in the stomach, so quickly that Robin didn’t have time to respond. They drew into themself, and would have crumpled to their knees if they weren't pinned to the wall.

Her hand tightened even further, preventing Robin from speaking. It was all they could do to take strangled gasps of air and try not to pass out, even if it seemed like a good option right then.

“You thought wrong.”

o0O0o

Robin walked quietly into class, sinking into a seat near the back. They clutched their side as they tried to discern what the lesson was about, taking shallow breaths and trying to hold in their desire to scream.

They weren't afraid of Aisida. That was far from it. The real issue was that she knew how to use dark magic tomes. Those were never good for the recipient, even if they used the same tomes themself. Dark magic tomes were designed to rip and tear, to destroy, to hurt.

Well, Robin could now confidently say that they did exactly that.

They listened to the instructor drone on, starting a little when he announced they were going outside to practice tomes. Robin hadn’t practiced since last week, and there was no way they'd be able to stand against an opponent in their current state.

Nevertheless, they stood unsteadily and joined their classmates.

The walk outside seemed to take forever. Every step drained them and by the time they reached the outside of the palace Robin was convinced that they were going to pass out.

Still, they took a tome.

It was fire. Robin didn’t look too closely at what its use was. They'd be able to work it and that was what mattered.

The instructor paired them off using numbers, which pretty much guaranteed that Robin would be in for it. When they were allowed to pick partners, they almost always went for Litao, who always showed some degree of sympathy towards them. But if Robin were to be honest, they'd say that everyone else in the class hated them.

Sure enough, they were partnered with the most anti-Robin in the class, Tyger. The older boy smirked when he realized this, and Robin couldn’t help but roll their eyes. Across the field, Litao shot him a sympathetic glance.

Robin and Tyger stood across from each other. Tyger’s eyes burned with disgust and pent-up anger. Robin almost sighed. They were fully resigned to their fate at this point, and all they could bring themself to do was ask Naga to make their suffering quick.

Naga didn’t heed him.

As soon as the instructor called start, a wave of pain hit them and they convulsed, hating the feeling of whatever tome Tyger was using. They dropped to the grass, and was alarmed when it seemed to be rapidly switching from green to gray.

The pain momentarily lessened, and Robin scrambled to their feet, narrowly dodging another wave of energy. They guessed it was an electricity tome, based on the overall effect.

Robin snapped their tome open and sent several small globs of fire towards his opponent. Tyger dodged them easily and retaliated with a wide sphere of electricity.

Robin saw the grass before everything dipped into black.

Chapter Text

Everything was white.

Everywhere Robin looked, all they saw was white. They could make out figures going about their work, but other than that it was blank.

One of the figures approached them. They almost tried to scramble away, but forced themself to lie still. For better or worse, they were about to find out.

As she got closer, Robin observed that she was one of the medics assigned to healing training injuries, which probably meant that their fight with Tyger caused more than just a temporary blackout. It also probably meant he was out, because if he wasn’t, he would have walked into the infirmary and demanded Robin be sent back to their room.

The woman stood beside them and smiled warmly. “You took quite a beating there! Your major injuries have mostly been healed, but there were some more minor injuries we’ve yet to fix. It should only take a little while, but you’ll be here for around a day more, if that’s alright?”

“Th-that’s fine,” Robin stammered. “I-Thank you.” They still weren't quite sure how to interact with people who didn’t hate them. There was Khalida, sure, but she was more like their older sister.

The woman’s smile grew. “Of course! Let me just check…” She leaned over and frowned. “That’s odd.”

“What?”

She brushed a strand of hair out of her eyes and turned to face them. “One of the wounds re-opened. That shouldn’t have happened. We used a tome.”

Robin felt cold dread seep into their spine. “Um…did you use a dark tome?”

“Of course we did. Why would it matter?”

“That would-that would explain it, then.” They swallowed hard. “I don’t really have the best…reaction to dark tomes. Not sure why, but that’s probably the reason.”

It was a half truth. Robin was well-versed in half truths. Many considered it the best form of lying- not entirely a lie (they did have bad reactions to dark tomes) but not the whole truth, either (it was also from Aisida’s beating earlier). Half truths made it so much easier to get away with things, yet they still hated when they had to tell them.

She looked baffled. “Well…How are we supposed to heal you, then? It’s not like we have spare tomes lying around, and if we did, they’d all be dark.”

Robin waved it off. “No, it’s fine.” They sat up unsteadily. It really wasn’t a big deal. They could just patch themself up, and as an added bonus, the less time they spent in the infirmary was better. “Thank you. May I leave?”

“You go on and do whatever you please.” The voice came from across the room, and when Robin looked, they saw another medic sitting at a desk. “You’re his, aren’t you? Go if you’d like. It isn’t like we can stop you.”

Robin flinched and looked down at their hands. They immediately regretted it when they saw a hint of purple peeking out from under their left hand. Said hand was quickly shifted over the other to hide the discoloration. They didn’t know if anyone had seen it, but hoped they hadn’t. It was bad enough that Khalida had to see it everyday.

The first woman stood there open mouthed, then excused herself to the adjoining room. It was clear from the rosy color on her face that she was embarrassed, but for what? The other woman’s actions?

Robin chanced a glance at the medic, who was still glaring from across the room. “I’m sorry,” they said quietly. “I don’t mean to be a bother.”

She snorted. “Then stop gettin’ into fights, kid.” At Robin’s alarmed glance, she elaborated. “Those injuries weren’t caused by tome practice and I know it. I may not like ya, but I like jerks even less.”

“Thank you,” they said. As much as they tried to project confidence and self-assurance, they did care about what people thought. Hearing the medic blatantly state her distaste for them hurt, even though they hid it.

Always hiding.

Robin frowned. They were used to thinking things they didn’t mean, but this was different. Almost like…someone else thinking for them, feeding thoughts into their brain. They definitely hadn’t meant to criticize themself (okay, maybe they did), but maybe it was just a slip-up.

The woman rolled her eyes. “Sure. You can repay me by getting out of here. I don’t want any trouble coming on us, y’hear me?” She cast one last meaningful glance at the teen, then turned her back to them. A second later, Robin heard scribbling on paper and quiet whistling and took it to mean they weren't a concern anymore.

They slid off the bed and almost toppled over, but quickly grabbed the bed and straightened themself. They couldn’t feel the floor, but that was fine. They chalked it up to an aftereffect of the dark tome.

They were almost to the door when it was slammed open. The medic at the desk jumped, and looked towards the door with a scowl on her face that quickly faded. She rose and dipped into a curtsy.

Validar rolled his eyes. He spent no time on the woman and his gaze was quickly switched to Robin, who had been slowly inching towards the exit.

“My child,” he said quietly. “Let’s go. Now.”

Robin swallowed hard and followed Validar out the door.

They walked in silence through the halls, doors being shut around them as the palace residents endeavored to avoid them. It was a futile effort, really. If either of them were trying to find a certain person, it would be over in a matter of minutes.

They reached the courtyard, where Validar slowed his pace. Robin did the same, but stayed five steps behind the older. Just in case.

“You were…injured.” Validar’s tone was careful, formal, like he was talking to a diplomat instead of his own child. “During practice, I believe?”

He believes. Of course.

Robin took a deep, frustrated breath at the other voice, then answered with a simple, “Yes.”

Validar stopped walking but didn’t turn to face Robin. “I seem to recall his name was…Tyger. Older than you. Not too excellent at anything- no more valuable than a commoner.”

There was a moment of silence. Robin focused on keeping their breathing even. It wouldn’t do them good to show fear.

“And you lost to him. More than that, you were injured because of him. A slip of a boy with no talents, flinging around empty insults in a hope to distract you. Did you for once think about your family’s reputation, my reputation?” Still Validar wouldn’t turn around.

Robin swallowed hard. Their robe was adjusted with shaking hands. “I apologize. He caught me off guard.”

“That is no excuse.”

“I…I know.”

Validar finally turned around. His gaze was passive, and it somehow was more scary than a simple frown. It was simple gazes like this that puzzled and terrified Robin. Even when Validar was extremely angry with them, the former didn’t raise his voice and didn’t display any outward signs of his displeasure.

“Clearly our training sessions have not been helping. We will increase to four a week. I expect you to be in the training room at the usual time, fully prepared.”

A cold chill crept its way up Robin’s spine. Four a week. Four. They didn’t even notice as Validar swept away.

It was a sudden shove to their side that snapped them out of their thoughts. They chose not to entertain the assailant and turned the opposite direction to return to their room. They had something to attend to before going through training.

Five minutes later, the writing was completed and Robin was on their way to the training room. They caught a glance of Khalida sprawled on the grass in the courtyard, but she looked to be sleeping, so Robin didn’t pay close attention to it. They arrived at the training room right on time, only to be promptly led back out again by Validar.

As always, it was a silent and brief walk. Validar offered no details about where they were going, and Robin knew better than to ask. It seemed they didn’t need to once they arrived. It was a room they knew all too well.

Validar opened the door with a slight curl of his lip. Robin entered and only flinched a little when the door was slammed behind them (although if asked, they'd deny any show of fear).

A light came on, illuminating the room that in different circumstances would have been quite beautiful. It was a large stone space, with several dark pillars supporting a wraparound loft with no visible way to reach it. There were several small letters and words inscribed on the pillars, in a script Robin didn’t recognize. Near the same words there were symbols- a pair of wings, a singular eye, and a strange teardrop.

In the middle of the room was a circular platform made of lighter stone. It was this platform that Robin cautiously approached. For a moment, their mind painted wild streaks of red on the otherwise perfect gray, but it took a mere shake of their head to dispel the image.

“You know what to do.” The voice seemed to come from nowhere and everywhere at once, giving the dizzying illusion of multiple Validars all around the room. Tricks like these made Robin’s head hurt.

They took a deep breath to steady themself, closing their eyes. When they opened them again, there was a gagged and bound man in front of them. Robin felt their chest tighten and they struggled to keep their breathing even.

“This is Brint.”

This was new. Validar had never… humanized the situation before. He was always silent until the job was done, the training completed.

“Brint was a commoner that tried to run to Ylisse. Luckily our border guard caught him.”

Robin tried to move, to finish the job before Validar could make the situation even more real. They felt like they were glued to the spot, forced to listen to this man’s story.

“He has a wife, and two kids. I believe their names are Ina and Prissa?”

At the sound of the names, the man whimpered. He gazed into Robin’s eyes. Pleading.

With shaking hands, a tome was pulled out of a bag.

The man’s eyes widened, tears making wet tracks down his face.

The tome was flipped open.

The man’s whimpers were silenced.

“Excellent. Much faster than last time. You may leave, Robin.”

They turned around robotically and strode out of the room, gasping for a breath of clean, untainted air.

I share Validar’s expression of contentment.

What, exactly, does one do when hearing thoughts that are not one’s one? Is such a thing even common?

It was over quite fast.

Is it simply a symptom of insanity?

Even with the situation humanized.

Or is it something more, something bigger?

Well done.

They were walking faster.

You needn’t worry.

Should they go to Khalida?

I have no fear over your fate.

No.

Neither should you.

Their room, instead. The door was locked behind them, magically sealed for good measure.

What’s wrong?

Their robe was thrown off. The smell of metal lingered.

This isn’t about that exercise, is it?

They curled into a corner, shaking not only because of the cold.

Grow up.

“Who are you?” they asked, somewhat hysterically. “Who are you? Why are you in my head? How are you in my head?”

You needn’t worry. I will be back.

“No, no, stay away- ”

I

will

be

back.

Chapter Text

This fic is being discontinued until further notice because I re-read it and realized that it really wasn't great. I'm still definitely going to post for Awakening (it is my life at this point lol) just not planning to continue this work specifically.

Thank you :D