Chapter Text
It was… difficult. Things had been going relatively well for everyone recently. But now they were returning to the south, back home to Vona’s Gate, and Ranie couldn’t figure out why exactly she couldn’t just be happy that they were all alive. No one had died, no one had been seriously hurt, just a few scars here and there!
But still she sat atop the crows nest of the ship, silent as the night that surrounded her. This was the first time in a month that there was truly time to rest before their next mission, and yet she was awake, mind traveling to the peace of a past she would never be able to fully return to.
‘ The consequences of being practically hunted, I suppose…’
While they had been traveling to South Helric, it had been the Talons stalking them; and they had been successful on two ambushes, one of which caused her to become so plagued by her own panic that she had managed to not only put herself, but everyone else in danger. It was almost lucky that it didn’t happen twice… The memory of waking up so far away from everyone as they fought that hydra, a shaky sigh escaping the halfling as she shifted, bringing her knees up to her chest.
In moments like these, though few and far between, the full gravity of the past year and a half tended to hit her. Two years ago she fully alone, besides Thia and occasional letters to her parents. She had spent all her time working in her garden, foraging, sketching, or cooking, her mind always wandering to the friends and family she thought she was protecting; to Syleni .
And now?
They were on a ship, one that they just stole, carrying 400 refugees across the ocean to the south, where they would be joining the population who now lived at Vona’s Gate. The now bustling town that had started as just a single tree house in the middle of a forest.
‘Oh the speed at which things can change…’
She spent her days surrounded by friends, and family when the gods allowed a break. She had watched friends join the fight and die for it. There were people who had seen all the horrors with her and Thia, like Codell and Alexi; and there were others who had just joined them, like Felix, Hevel, and Emerson. Though they had all faced horrors of their own…
She thought back to the night she had awoken, completely chained up in the back of a wagon, with Thia and two others beside her. What would have happened if Thia wasn’t there, hadn’t come to visit her a few days prior? Would she still be stuck in that basement, praying for even a taste of freedom?
But Thia had been there, Azure and Dawn were just as willing to fight as she was, and they escaped; thankfully being able to bring Alexi and Codell with them when they started their journey.
And Valora… thinking back on how she had disguised herself as a maid brought a soft laugh out of her. It was so surreal, knowing what they know now about the leader of the Silver Dawn. And she couldn’t help but be thankful that she decided to take a risk on them. She could have easily left them for longer, or to escape alone.
Now they were all called war heros, her and Thia were the founders of a whole town, and they all seemed to be the center of praise with those fighting against the empire.
She almost felt that it was undeserved. She’s spending all her time working and fighting for a better world, after her own had been shattered. But it almost seemed like those who had died had been forgotten. Why should she be the one who was praised and bowed to upon new meetings? Why couldn’t they see that there was still so much work to do, so many people that have died while she lived on luck?
The Wild Mage, they called her. And while it was fitting, of course, it alluded to a brave, heroic, confident person… and she couldn’t see herself fitting into any of the high expectations that the world was trying to push on her.
None of these people saw the terror that filled her every time a friend got hit during battle, and desprit concentration she had to wield as to not let her magic run wild through the fear and panic.
No one ever saw the lonely nights, sleep disturbed by nightmares, or simply put off thinking about everyone she missed, those who she held so dearly that couldn’t be here with her.
‘Well…’ Lost inside her thoughts, she began to slowly drift with the rhythmic rocking of the waves below.
‘Great triumphs make better stories than lonely nights, I suppose’