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When Millicent was still a child, she learned that she was on her own. No one would come to save her. She will have to save and protect herself because no one else cared. Those who she had loved and trusted betrayed her or forgot about her. Her own mother murdered her at the age of only seventeen; the friends she had before being turned into a revenant either died or turned their backs on her, never acknowledging her existence again; the person that she thought was the love of her life got rid of her once they had had sex; and so on. Millicent resented life for treating her like this when all she wanted was freedom and happiness. She used to be good and kind, but now people fear her, and she loves it. No one could hurt her as long as she didn’t let anyone into her heart or her life too much. Her plan was going great; for centuries, no one got even close to making her chuckle. She was feared, respected, and known as one of the Blood Queen's deadliest assassins. However, that changed after she met a certain Atlantian prince with golden hair who found a way to make it pass her armor.
It has taken years of work from Malik to get Millie to bat an eye in his direction. To Malik, each second had been worth it, and Millie, even when she would never admit it, was glad he had done it.
Now, they lay in Millicent's bed facing each other, yet not touching. Despite Malik’s love language being physical touch, he knew that Millie hated being touch. She felt as though it was too intimate, and she never felt safe enough to be that intimate with someone. Yet, that night for Millie felt special. She wanted to touch Malik; she wanted to kiss him for the first time and show him that she could be sweet to him, but she was just not good with her words.
Millicent slowly got closer to Malik, but he did not move an inch; his eyes were on her, following her every moment in awe, but he never moved. She laid her head next to his on the same soft pillow. Even though Millie felt safe, no part of their bodies were touching; they were inches apart but not at all touching.
"Hi," Malik smiled, and Millie felt the familiar feeling of warmth spreading across her body. His smile for her was grounding.
"Hi"
"My clothes look better on you than they do on me." Millie looked down at the large white shirt she was wearing. Millicent wearing Malik's shirts to sleep has become a thing, but without any of them trying, it just happened. Almost nothing they did was intended; they weren’t in a position where they could fall in love; Malik was a prisoner, and Millie was dead and also the daughter of his abuser and the enemy of his home. Nevertheless, things just happened. Now Malik wouldn’t go to bed without first spending a few hours with Millie; sometimes they would talk softly in the dark, but other times they would just look into each other’s eyes in a comfortable silence. Millie now would only sleep if she were wearing one of Malik’s shirts; she even has two for herself, well hidden in her chambers from prying eyes. They have built small routines without knowing it, but now they needed them.
"Malik, I have to ask you something." Millie barely spoke over her breath. All of a sudden, she felt vulnerable in the same way she did as a child, but for the first time in her life, vulnerability did not come alongside fear. She felt small and exposed, but she knew it was the right thing to do since there was no place for panic when she was with Malik.
"Anything"
"Can I kiss you?" Malik sucked in a breath and nodded. He didn’t move as Millie came even closer to him until their noses touched softly. He hadn’t been asked to kiss her; he had been asked to be kissed. He wouldn’t kiss Millie until she asked him to, and it wasn’t out of his pride or ego because of being wanted. Millie would decide when to kiss him; he was ready for a kiss but she wasn't, so he would wait. He would never cross her boundaries, even when she hasn’t explicitly established them. Her body language was enough for him to know what made her uncomfortable. Millie’s fingertips softly caress Malik's cheek, brushing the soft strands of hair behind his ears. Their lips softly brushed against each other, yet they were not kissing. Malik’s eyes were closed while he tried to memorize the feeling of Millicent's hand to relive that moment over and over again. Millie was focused on Malik’s plump pink lips; they felt right and forbidden at the same time. She was about to cross a line that she thought she would never cross again, but with Malik, it felt safe to do so.
Finally, Millie pushed her lips against his. It wasn’t deep or sexual in any way; it felt more as if they were inexperienced younglings. A simple light peck kiss that lasted a few seconds but that for them two meant the world They stared into each other’s eyes and smiled, overwhelmed by warmth and love.
"Did you like it?" Millie was scared, but not because she hadn’t had partners before; she was an experienced adult woman, but it had been too long since she had cared for someone. She was truly insecure when it came to how she related to others.
"It’s my favorite kiss so far." He meant every word.
"Malik?"
"Yes?"
"I have to ask you one last thing."
"Anything," Malik said and smiled, and so did she, despite the anxiety growing inside her. How could she tell him? What will she say? I'm a mess, and I'm terrified. I hate to care for you, but I hate even more that I don’t actually hate it all. I don’t understand what you see in me, but I'm glad to have you by my side. There isn't anything that I wouldn't do for you, Malik. I feel your absence in everything that I do alone and in every place I go without you. The mere thought of anything happening to you is unbearable. I think I'm in love with you. Can I love you?
Millie couldn’t bring herself to speak those words. She wasn’t ready, and yet she has the need to let him know that he is loved. that he is as loved as he makes her feel every day. "I have grown to care about you," she said, stumbling over her words.
Malik smiled brightly, with fangs and both dimples showing, lighting up his face. "I care about you too, sweetheart."
That night Malik didn’t leave for his own chambers. They fell asleep listening to each other’s calm breath and enjoying their secret love.