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Carlos woke up to a sharp scent assaulting his nostrils. “Oxidizing manganese” was the first thought that came to mind, and the second thought was that that was a very unusual thing to smell first thing in the morning. He uncurled himself on the bed and rolled over to find himself alone. The blanket was thrown haphazardly over Cecil’s side of the bed, trailing onto the floor. Carlos sat up. That was definitely manganese he could smell.
He reviewed the facts as wakefulness returned to him. Today was July 14, his and Cecil’s anniversary – if you counted from their first date, although Cecil argued that their relationship really began a month earlier, that night in the Arby’s parking lot when the stars aligned and they understood. They both agreed that it was a good idea to remember all of their milestones together, so they could have many anniversaries, many excuses to spoil each other with candies and kisses. Today, on this anniversary, Cecil said he had a bunch of surprises in store for Carlos, and Carlos had dutifully asked nothing about them. It had not even occurred to him to ask Cecil for any details – that would spoil the excitement - but the scent coming from downstairs made him think twice. If Cecil was trying something with his lab equipment, he should have been there making sure it was safe. Carlos cursed his obliviousness to himself and rushed down the stairs, not bothering to put his dressing gown on over his dinosaur pajamas.
The smell was coming from the kitchen, and more specifically, from the frying pan that was now blackened and smoking in the sink. Cecil was holding an old rag and eyeing the pan as if the fire were about to spring back to life any second now. It was possible, Carlos considered, that the fire was about to do just that, if Cecil hadn’t set the bloodstone sigils on the stove in the right order. “Honey…?” He ventured.
Cecil jumped back. “Oh! Carlos, I didn’t hear you come down. Um.” His eyes darted back and forth between Carlos and the mess in the sink.
“These footie pajamas muffle my footsteps. Ceece, were you trying to cook breakfast for me? Is that your surprise?”
“Ummm, one of them. I was trying to make that vegan omelette you love, just like you showed me when we were in the desert otherworld. Only, I didn’t write down the recipe so I just tried to do it from memory-“
“And you didn’t use the right stove setting and you burned the ginger to a crisp,” Carlos finished.
Cecil hung his head. “That’s about the gist of it. I’m so sorry.”
Carlos smiled, showing those teeth like a military cemetery that Cecil was still dazzled by to this day. “Awwww, Cecil, that’s so sweet of you! Look at that, you remembered the cranberries, and the capers, and the parsley on top. And you did all that just from memory?”
“But I ruined it… you’re not disappointed?”
Carlos pulled Cecil into a hug. “Of course not! It shows that you paid attention to me and you tried your best! In that regard it is, and this is a scientifically accurate term, perfectly imperfect.” He poked Cecil in the cheek. “Just like you.”
The pan burst into flames again. Cecil disengaged from the hug and frantically rearranged the sigils. Carlos ran for the fire extinguisher.
---
It was after noon by the time they had the kitchen under control, made a real breakfast, showered and decided what to wear. It was therefore almost time for their first appointment, said Cecil. He was wearing a green velvet dress that billowed around his ankles, a fluffy white ascot, and flip-flops with platform heels. His hair was dyed electric blue and pulled into a bun. Carlos had on an understated formal lab coat, with cufflinks shaped like molecules of serotonin, and a carnation in the lapel. He could hardly contain himself as they got into the car and Cecil began driving them downtown. “You will be happy to know,” said Cecil, “that none of the rest of the day will involve subjecting you to my cooking. We are going out for lunch.”
“I wonder, where could it be? Big Rico’s? O’Brien’s? The Arby’s?” he said, wagging his eyebrows.
“Would you believe me if I told you I got us a reservation at Tourniquet?”
Carlos bounced up and down in his seat belt. “Are you serious?! But you have to book those months in advance! It’s practically impossible to eat there! In fact, I asked around and I don’t know of anyone who has successfully eaten there, and I was starting to wonder if they had ever served any customers at all!”
“Well maybe I have been planning this for months. Or maybe I know someone who works there and slipped him a couple bills under the table to bump my name up the list.” Cecil winked.
“Ooooh,” said Carlos. He looked out the window. “But wait, didn’t we pass Tourniquet already? It’s back on Mesa, isn’t it?”
Cecil just winked again, and said nothing. In a short while he was turning the car into the parking lot of the Applebee’s. Carlos narrowed his eyes. “Ceeeeece, did you mix up the Tourniquet and Applebee’s websites again?”
“Well I don’t know, maybe I did. Let’s go in and find out if I have a reservation here,” he said, stifling a giggle. Carlos cocked his head, but followed his boyfriend into the restaurant anyway. This was just another mystery among the many mysteries of life with Cecil, and he was excited to play along.
Inside, Cecil accosted the hostess, a young woman with goat horns and a bored expression. “Welcome to Applebee’s where fun is mandatory and food is ephemeral,” she said in a monotone.
Cecil said, “Hi, we should have a reservation for 2 under the name Palmer?”
“Mm-hmm, right this way, sirs.”
She led them to a spacious booth near the back. As they slid into their seats, Carlos said, “So, we really are eating here? You didn’t get a spot at Tourniquet after all?”
Cecil winked for a third time, holding his eye closed as he spoke. “You’re half-right, but keep going. Think of all the possible explanations.”
Carlos grinned. He could tell Cecil was being coy with him just so he would have to use quiet mental science (one of the best kinds of science) to deduce the answer. “You say I’m half-right. Logically that would mean that one of my statements is true and one was false. Now it could be false that we are eating here, but in that case it would be improbable for the hostess to seat us. And in any case, that would mean we aren’t eating here or at Tourniquet, but you earlier said that we were going out for lunch so that would mean we’d have to find someplace else to eat, and we’re already here so that doesn’t make sense either. I have to conclude that the most likely scenario is, we are eating here and at Tourniquet!”
“Bingo,” said Cecil. “I do have a reservation there, and one here. Two meals. Do you know why?”
“Mmmm, because you figured the breakfast might not work?”
Cecil laughed. “Sure, but that’s not the real reason. Carlos. You weren’t in Night Vale one year ago. It was a year ago when I ate in this restaurant alone, trying to tell myself that I would see you very soon, terrified that I would not, wondering if you were feeling the same way or if it was even the same day for you. I’d like to replace that memory with a happier one. So this is my surprise: two dates, two meals. This right now is our one-year anniversary meal, and in a few hours we’ll have our two-year.”
Carlos’ hands started to flutter and his voice came out in a pipsqueak. “Cecil! You didn’t have to do all this for me!”
“I didn’t have to, but I want to. I want to make up for every moment we had to spend apart. And I’m treating myself too. Not to brag, but I think I deserve it after so long of letting myself slide.”
“You do, you so do. You’ve worked so hard this year and you’ve been so strong and brave and patient and kind with me. You deserve everything nice.”
Cecil blushed a little as he used his knife to tap out an order in Morse code on the underside of the table. A bowl of edamame and a plate of tortilla chips with guacamole immediately faded into existence on the table. “Some appetizers to start us off. Order whatever you want, but um, keep in mind that our reservation for Tourniquet is at three and it’s now one-fifteen,” he said, looking at the watch on his wrist, the one that would never fail him. Seeing Carlos’ raised eyebrows, he added, “Look, they’re a really busy joint and that was the only slot Earl could guarantee me on such short notice, ok?”
“Okay,” Carlos laughed, “I’ll get a salad or something.”
“Be careful you don’t order the all-you-can-eat salad. Last time I did that one of the cooks followed me home throwing lettuce and tomatoes at my head the whole time, because they judged that I was still capable of eating more.”
---
Less than two hours later the couple were once again sitting across from each other at a restaurant table, lost in each other’s eyes. This time the atmosphere was calm, free from the tacky street signs and feral raccoons that made up the typical Applebee’s décor. The lights were dim and the loudspeakers were playing the amplified sound of a human breathing deeply. Carlos had waved at the huge idol that served as maître d’, saying, “Hello! I’m very excited to be eating at such a hip and exclusive place! Tell Chef Harlan that I said hi!” At this point the idol had very slowly raised its hand and given a thumbs-up, a gesture no one working there said they had ever seen before.
They pointed out exotic and unrecognizable dishes on the menu to each other. Cecil tried saying the names of everything he didn’t know how to pronounce, and Carlos smiled to hear his usually smooth voice stumble over French and Sumerian words. Carlos did the same, attempting to sound posh with an affected British accent. “We are so not sophisticated enough for this,” he said. Cecil pouted in mock offense, but agreed that he felt like a kid pretending at being fancy.
While they were poring over their options, Earl came from the kitchen to greet them. “Cecil! Carlos! Wonderful to see you, and congratulations on two years. Here’s hoping for many more.”
“Thank you, Earl”, said Cecil. “I too hope we spend as many years as we can together before Time decides that it will not give us any more.” He looked into Carlos’ eyes as he said it.
“And I’m sure you will! I’m no matchmaker, but I can tell you two go together like lobster and butter.” Earl pat Cecil on the back. “So what can I get you boys this afternoon? Our special of the day is our shrimp scampi on rice, with the shrimp freshly picked from a local farm. Now Carlos, I know you’re a vegan, so I want to let you know that whatever you order, we’ll cook it on a separate grill with sterile utensils. No meat cross-contamination, right?”
“Oh, thank you, that’s so considerate,” said Carlos. “I’d like the chickpea masala with the mango chutney.”
Cecil said, “And IIIII… probably should not have eaten a full rack of ribs at Applebee’s. Can I get the shrimp thing in a doggy bag? Also, what wines can you recommend?”
“Great choices,” said Earl. “As for wines, we’re quite proud of acquiring a 2096 Zinfandel made using a genetically modified grape that doesn’t exist yet. That’d go great with the shrimp. However, I recommend a white to pair with the curry, perhaps a Pinot Grigio.” He looked at Carlos expectantly.
“Oh, uh, I don’t care so much about pairing, is that okay? I want to try future wine, that sounds so scientifically interesting!”
“A bottle of the Zinfandel then?” said Cecil. Carlos nodded, then Earl nodded and retreated to the kitchen.
“Earl seems like a great friend,” said Carlos. “I haven’t really spoken to him before, since I was away when he reappeared. I think it’s so cute that you’ve known each other since you were little kids and you still talk to each other. I’m not still in contact with anyone from my childhood. I suppose it’s a lot easier when you still live in your hometown.”
“Hmm, I suppose,” said Cecil. “But you still have things from your past, at least. Like your plush dinosaur, and that ribbon you got for third grade science fair that you still keep for good luck, and lots more things that your parents keep in storage. Most of my things disappeared with my mother, and most of the ones I do I have no memories of. So. We both have incomplete pasts, I guess.” He stared down at his menu in silence.
Carlos placed his hand over Cecil’s. “Oh, my sweet disaccharide cube, it’s going to be okay. Because you know what else we have? We have a definite past together. Two whole years of it. And we have a present together! And if I may extrapolate from the data given, we will also have a future together! Just like you said, as many years as we can. And we can use those years to figure out our pasts, and figure out what we want from our present.”
Cecil leaned across the table and kissed Carlos on the forehead. His eyes were watering up. “I know, Carlos. No matter what else happens, I have my time with you. My constant, remember?”
“Always.”
---
The sun waltzed across the sky, doing loop-de-loops and hairpin turns, as Cecil and Carlos talked and ate and drank their wine. Carlos ran on about reuniting with his science team and the new breakthroughs in bioengineering they were working on, and Cecil absorbed it all while understanding very little. Eventually Cecil looked at his watch and cried, “Shoot! It’s after 6:30! We’ve been sitting here for hours!”
“I’m sure the staff won’t mind too much,” said Carlos. The dinner rush didn’t start until we’d already been here a while. Let’s just leave a big tip when we leave.”
“No no no, the opera! I got us tickets to the opera because you said my review made it sound fascinating, and it starts at seven! Dang it I was supposed to reveal that dramatically when we were eating but I got lost in our conversation. The time just slipped by.”
“Oh! The opera house is pretty far… we’d need to gun it!”
“Then gun it is what we shall do.” He signalled for the check and thrust the entire contents of his wallet onto it, not bothering to count the bills or remove the Subway coupon from the wad. He then grabbed Carlos’ arm and ran for the car.
Once inside, he tossed his phone into Carlos’ lap and asked, “Can you text Josie and tell her we’re on our way?” He zoomed through the stop signs, grateful to have five stamps on his Alert Citizen Card. Carlos typed as fast as he could, and the phone buzzed back not a minute later.
“She says we’re in luck, they’re having some technical difficulty with the lighting so the show may start a few minutes late.”
“Ha! Finally, a chance accident that works out in my favor! Thank the Old Ones.”
They made it to the New Old Night Vale Opera House at two minutes to seven. Cecil rummaged in his fanny pack for the tickets and presented them to Lee Marvin at the box office, and they didn’t wait for the usher, who was also Lee Marvin, to show them to their seats. They sat down hard and took a minute to catch their breath, leaning on each other and giggling, causing the patrons behind them to shush them. In a few minutes, Old Woman Josie sashayed onto the stage with a microphone in her hand. After the applause died down, she spoke:
“Esteemed patrons, welcome to tonight’s showing of Amara, the first production of Strex Operatics Limited, now with Lee Marvin filling the roles originally cast for Frank Chen. We have a couple of very special guests with us tonight. Celebrating two years of love and happiness together, give it up for our Voice, Cecil Palmer, and our prodigal son, Carlos the Scientist, back home for the first time since last spring.” She pointed them out in their fourth-row seats and the audience began clapping again. “On behalf of the whole company, I say congratulations to you both. You make this town a better, brighter place by being here. And I can’t wait to hear about all this on the radio tomorrow.” There were scattered laughs from the crowd. “Enjoy the show,” Josie said, then she departed and the lights dimmed.
Carlos buried his face in Cecil’s shoulder. “Ceece, you didn’t have to have her do that.”
“I didn’t ‘have her’ do anything,” he replied. “I just told her I had bought tickets for our date night and she got that devious look in her eye and said she’d make sure we enjoyed it. I was as surprised as you are.”
“Everyone was clapping,” said Carlos. “Do they… really like us? Do they like me?”
“Shh,” said Cecil, for the overture was beginning.
---
When the house lights came back on, Carlos and Cecil stayed in their seats for a while as the other guests shuffled toward the exits. Carlos leaned against Cecil with his eyes closed, relaxing after the intense spectacle that was the opera. They were both still dripping from the scene when two of the cast members ran through the aisles spraying everybody with water guns. “You know, I’ve never been to an opera before,” said Carlos, feeling his love’s breath in his hair.
“And what is your impression of the art form?”
“It’s totally different from what I expected!” Carlos opened his eyes and sat up to meet Cecil’s gaze. “Even after hearing your review. Actually, was it even the same show as the one you reviewed? I don’t remember you saying there was a rhinoceros in the show.”
“Well, that first performance was cut short…”
“Right, sorry. But that means it was all surprising, and that I didn’t know what was going to happen next! And that made it very engrossing to be a part of! I was totally immersed in the theater experience. And Lee Marvin is such a versatile actor playing all those roles at once!”
“But you already knew that from watching Cat Ballou with me.” They had watched the film at least a hundred times, as it movie night was one of the few activities they could do together when Carlos was projecting from the otherworld.
“Yes, but it’s so thrilling to see in person! It’s such an intimate performance.”
“Carlos?”
“Cecil?”
“Are we going to sit here in an empty theater all night, or are you ready for date number two?”
Carlos’ eyes widened. “Oh! I think that’s a false dichotomy! I would not like to stay here all night, but, goodness, a whole second date? I’m still very VERY full from all the food and I’m a little tired after all the excitement… What else did you have planned?”
“Well then, you will pleased to hear that I have nothing else planned. The second date was reserved for us to do whatever you want to do. Anything at all. Even if you wanted to rob a bank. I would be down for that.”
“Why would I want to rob a bank?”
“I’m not saying you do, I’m just saying if you did…”
Carlos looked up at the ceiling while he thought about all the myriad possibilities that were open to him at this moment. This, too, was quiet mental science, but more focused than his usual ponderings of the nature of the universe. It didn’t take long, because given the variables of the current time, his energy level, and his mood, there was one conclusion that jumped out at him. “Let’s take a walk in Mission Grove Park, just you and me. Just like our first date. Well, not exactly like our first date, because people will not be turning into buzzing shadow creatures around us. Unless that it going around again and I haven’t heard it.”
“How could you have heard it? I haven’t been at work to report it. And if I don’t report something, then it’s not really news! So we’ll be totally safe.”
Carlos trusted that this was true, despite the shaky logic, because his boyfriend was saying it to reassure him and sometimes statements with good intentions were more true than logical ones. So they wandered out of the opera house and left the car behind and walked the short distance to the park hand in hand, Cecil’s heels clopping on the pavement, exaggerating their height difference.
“Do you want to test the trees again?” asked Cecil.
“Oh, not this time, honey,” said Carlos. His face began to flush. “Um, actually, I don’t think I ever told you this… those tests, on our first date, they weren’t real science. I didn’t collect any data to use later. I was just nervous, and using my Geiger counter to calm myself down and hoping you wouldn’t notice. I’m sorry.”
Cecil ran his hand through Carlos’ hair. “I understand completely. Do you feel nervous now?”
“No! Being alone with you makes me feel safe and warm and – and loved!”
“I feel the same way. Although being out under the stars does bring out a little of the old existential unease in me.”
“I know! Space is so vast and distant and when you look at the stars, you’re looking back in time, sometimes by billions of years. You’re looking into infinity and it makes you feel so small, but it’s also a feeling of awe. Because in that infinite nothing, somehow, against all odds, there is a planet where life evolved and was able to look out at them and try to understand them, and you are a part of that life! Cecil, did you see the pictures from New Horizons? Just today it sent us our first-ever images of Pluto! We know more about the solar system today than we did yesterday!”
“Pluto? That’s amazing!” said Cecil. “How did they build a camera that could take pictures of an imaginary planet?”
Carlos thought about this, and resorted to saying, “With science.” Seeing that Cecil was still looking up with a slack-jawed expression, he said, “Do you maybe want to scream at the night sky together?”
“I thought you’d never ask.” Cecil grinned.
And they did scream until they were both hoarse, their voices forming a major fifth. And when they could scream no longer, they took shelter under a tree and started planting kisses all over each other: on Carlos’ neck, on Cecil’s nose, on each other’s lips the longest of all, until they forgot about the vastness of space because they both considered the other to be their world entire.
“Getting tired yet?” Cecil whispered, still raspy, unaware of how long they had been at it.
“I could do this for hours,” Carlos murmured back. “I could do this all night. Time could slow down or stop entirely and I would still want to keep going.”
“But I still have gifts waiting for you at home.”
“So do I. They can wait. The world can wait.”
And they kept going until Carlos started to fall asleep in Cecil’s arms, and Cecil shook him awake just enough that he could walk back to the car in a daze. He lay in the back seat and stared at the moon as it followed them home, and Cecil opened the front door and then pulled Carlos out of the car, and scooped him up and carried him to bed.