Work Text:
First stage: fear.
16-18
What is there to be afraid of, anyway? Love is an emotion anyone can feel. It's a feeling that can't be stopped. It happens naturally. Sometimes, love can be in the person that you least expected.
"Doyoung, are you okay?" Junghwan asks as they're both in his room, doing schoolworks. They're in the same school but at different grade levels. Doyoung is two years older than Junghwan but they've been friends since they were kids.
This has been the norm for them. After school they will go to each other's house and do their own homework before doing other things. The silence earlier was very comfortable for them until Junghwan broke it.
Doyoung got out of daydream with the question, rubbing his eyes as he brought himself back to reality. "I'm fine," he replies. But Junghwan is persistent, he knows Doyoung too well.
"Are you sure?" he asks again, and receives a small nod. He then accepts that Doyoung will still not tell him anything no matter how hard he persuades him.
Doyoung does not know what is wrong with him. All he could think about is love . What is going on? Why is he feeling like this whenever he's with Junghwan?
It took him all the courage to finally look at Junghwan and he swears, Junghwan's beauty is out of this world. Since when did Junghwan become this beautiful in his eyes? Brown permed hair, hazel brown eyes, plump lips, and high bridged nose. And those fluffy rosy cheeks he always wanted to pinch and play with. And kiss, too.
Wait, what the hell? Doyoung mentally slaps himself for thinking about kissing Junghwan's cheeks. He can't focus. His mind is clouded with Junghwan. So Junghwan and his stupid pretty face. He can't finish this stupid math assignment. It's all Junghwan he can think of.
So Junghwan... Junghwan... Junghwan...
It can't be, right? No, Doyoung cannot. Junghwan is his bestfriend. No, he can't fall in love with him. He does not even know what love actually is. Doyoung is not even sure if it's okay to fall in love with his bestfriend.
He glances at Junghwan once again to confirm. No, Doyoung, no. This is absurd, falling in love with Junghwan will only ruin your friendship.
And Doyoung can't afford that to happen. The last thing he wants is for Junghwan to not be his bestfriend anymore. Yet how come of all people, Junghwan is the one he fell for?
Doyoung is scared. So afraid to admit to himself. He's terrified to fall in love. What will happen if he tells Junghwan about this stupid feelings of his? The younger one might think that it's ridiculous to fall for your bestfriend.
Doyoung is not only scared of falling but of rejection as well. He's sure that if he confesses, he can never be Junghwan's bestfriend anymore. Unknowingly, his tears started to fall.
Junghwan notices and quickly asks Doyoung what happened. "What happened, Dobi? Are you okay? You're crying." Junghwan pouted, worried about the guy tearing up infront of him.
They were just doing their own homework, what made his Doyoung cry?
This is one of the reasons why Doyoung fell for him. He's too caring and attentive for his own good. Doyoung feels like he might break down anytime soon. And he did, when Junghwan hugged him while caressing his back to comfort his sobbing state.
Uh oh, he's falling in love.
•••••••••••••••
Second stage: worry
17-19
Doyoung's graduation. His parents are emotional, he's finally graduating high school. And he's going to be away for college because he wants to in the city. Studying away from his family, friends, and Junghwan.
About Junghwan, they're still bestfriends. Nothing much happened in those months. They're still the same old Dobi and Hwani who are inseparable. Doyoung still won't admit to himself that he's in love with his bestfriend.
His heart is full of worries. He'll be going to the city soon and he's bothered by the fact that he'll be leaving Junghwan too. Doyoung does not know what will happen if he leaves. Junghwan might find a new bestfriend or worse, might find someone he loves.
Just thinking about it makes Doyoung feel sick. What if he should go now and confess? He's leaving soon, anyway. He won't be seeing Junghwan for a very long time. He can just cry at his new home in the city.
But he cannot do that. Doyoung wants to maintain their years of friendship. He does not want to ruin the bond they shared for years because of this stupid feelings.
Doyoung brushes away all of his thoughts because he cannot be sad today. Heck, he's graduating as one of the top students and he's going to be sad? He won't let these love thoughts about Junghwan affect him today.
"Are you ready, dear?" Doyoung's mom asks. He nodded, trying his best to be enthusiastic about his event today. No sad thoughts today, Doyoung. He thinks to himself. Doyoung took a deep breathe and went inside his family's car.
The graduation ceremony went smoothly, with Doyoung giving a gratitude speech being the top student. He also took a lot of pictures with his friends for remembrance. He is happy and grateful for this day. Doyoung will definitely miss his highschool life.
Back at Doyoung's house, they're having this mini celebration for his graduation. Can be considered as a farewell celebration too. Because Doyoung is leaving this weekend. Which is why he's making the most out of his remaining days in his hometown.
It's only a very simple celebration. A huge tarpaulin with a huge 'Congratulations, Doyoung' text on it, a chocolate cake, pasta, and more food which all Doyoung likes. Junghwan is here too.
Everything in this celebration is indeed full of Doyoung's likes.
"Congrats, Dobi!", Junghwan greeted him with a hug from the back. It startled Doyoung and when he turned around, the younger one had a huge smile on his face. He is so happy for Doyoung. All of his hard work paid off.
Ah, right. Junghwan still doesn't know about Doyoung leaving to study in the city.
Doyoung does not know how to tell Junghwan. He's afraid he might hurt the younger. But he knows he should tell. Junghwan must know. They're bestfriends after all.
"Thank you, Hwani," Doyoung replies. Hugging Junghwan as well. "I bought a present for you!" Junghwan beamed. Pulling out a box wrapped in blue paper. Doyoung chuckled with adoration, everything Junghwan does is adorable in his eyes.
But he is worried about what could happen to their friendship if he leaves. He does not want Junghwan to be distant with him. He wants to maintain their relationship as it is.
"Open it now, Dobi!" Junghwan exclaims. Excited to see Doyoung's reaction when he opens his gift. Opening the box, Doyoung's eyes widened.
It's a tie-dye sweater he's been wanting ever since. He wasn't able to buy it because he's saving for it after graduation. Doyoung isn't expecting Junghwan to buy it for him.
He gets teary eyed again, feeling overwhelmed with the overflowing emotions. "Do you like it, Dobi?" Junghwan asked, cupping Doyoung's cheeks. Wiping the tears that fall from his eyes.
"I love it, Hwani," Doyoung says with a wide smile. He hugged Junghwan again, not wanting to let go. This is the right time to tell him, he thinks.
"Junghwan," Doyoung calls. "Yes, Dobi?" Junghwan broke away from the hug but still did not let go of Doyoung by holding his waist. The older shivers from Junghwan's touch, feeling butterflies all over his stomach.
"I'm going to leave soon," says Doyoung. Making Junghwan confused. "What?" the younger asks. Doyoung leaving, Junghwan despises that idea. He hates it. So, he asks once again.
"What do you mean you're leaving again, Dobi hyung? You're leaving me?" Junghwan tries his best to suppress his tears. He does not want Doyoung to leave. Why is his Dobi hyung leaving? Where will he go?
"I'm studying college in the city. I got accepted for a scholarship there." Doyoung explains, holding both of Junghwan's hands. "I am not leaving you. We'll be staying in touch okay?" he adds. Junghwan keeps on shaking his head, not wanting to accept the fact. I hate it. I hate it so much.
Doyoung cups his cheeks and brings their foreheads together, trying to calm Junghwan. "What if you find another bestfriend there? What if you get sick of me? Dobi... I can't afford that to happen," and that's when Junghwan's tears fell.
Oh, Junghwan. If only you knew, Doyoung will never get sick of you. "No, Hwani. I'm still going to visit here. We can still text and facetime. And, I'm never going to replace you, my Hwani," Doyoung replies, the last two words sounding like a whisper. He does his best in assuring Junghwan who is now crying on his shoulder.
Junghwan, if you keep on doing this, I might have a hard time managing my feelings. Doyoung thinks, sighing as he closes his eyes to feel Junghwan's warmth one last time. "You promise that! If you replace me I am never going to give you Pokemon stuff anymore!" Junghwan exclaims, pouting.
Doyoung nodded, chuckling with how adorable Junghwan looks. Now, his only worries are about the love he feels for Junghwan that keeps on growing. If he goes to the city, he can find some ways to forget about it, right?
Doyoung does not want to keep hanging on to Junghwan, knowing the younger will never reciprocate his feelings. But no, the Junghwan who hugs him again and kisses his forehead, makes him realize that he will never be able to escape from these feelings.
He does not want to accept it yet, but everytime Junghwan is in front of him, he loves him even more than yesterday.
Oh no, he's falling in love again.
•••••••••••••••
Third and last stage: acceptance
18-20
Christmas. Junghwan is at the train station, waiting for Doyoung. This has been their routine since last year. If there's a break, Doyoung would go home to the province. Then, Junghwan would always fetch him from the train station. Like now, Junghwan kept on looking at every train that came by, expecting Doyoung to come out and welcome him with a hug.
Junghwan estimated that Doyoung usually comes every 5:30PM because the older always buys the 3:00PM ticket. Two hours and 30 minutes of travel, the reason why Junghwan hugs him everytime he arrives.
He believes the best way to relieve Doyoung's exhaustion is a hug. Junghwan loves hugging Doyoung. Ever since Doyoung told him that he feels safe whenever he hugs him, he started hugging Doyoung everyday. That's what he wants, to make Doyoung feel safe. And to protect Doyoung from every cruel thing in this world.
Junghwqn looks at his watch and it says 5:00PM, 30 minutes before Doyoung comes home to him. It was summer when he last saw Doyoung, he yearned for him. He misses his Doyoung. Junghwan wants to feel Doyoung's warmth once again.
20 minutes passed and Junghwan felt impatient. He wants to see Doyoung so badly. Junghwan felt his phone vibrate and showed a text from Doyoung on the lockscreen. He never opened a message so fast but was unhappy to see the older's message.
Junghwan, I'll be coming late. Please don't wait for me anymore. I'll be going home alone, alright? You don't have to worry. Something urgent just came up. See you tomorrow! — Dobi <3
Junghwan frowned, feeling dejected that he will still not be seeing Doyoung for a few hours. He wants to wait for him, but he doesn't know what time Doyoung will come. So, he decided to ask the older hoping he would tell him what time.
Is that so? What time are you coming home, then? I really miss you, Dobi. — Hwani 🤍
It might sound desperate but he really misses Doyoung so badly. He feels his phone vibrate again, thankfully Doyoung is a fast replier. And the response made him feel happy. Doyoung's estimated time of arrival is 6:30. He can just wait for another hour.
But why is Doyoung so persistent in making him go home? Does he not want to see Junghwan? Is he sick of Junghwan now? Right when I was about to confess? Junghwan frowns at his thoughts. He can't help but think of these, because he loves Doyoung and he wants to confess to him today.
Junghwan loves Doyoung, too.
Since when? Junghwan did not know when, but he only acknowledged it when he heard about Doyoung leaving for college. He is hurt. He cried so hard that night when Doyoung told him the news. He admits that he cannot live without Doyoung by his side.
Doyoung is his bestfriend, his ride-or-die, his other half, and the person he loves dearly. Confessing scares him but Junghwan believes he has to do it now. If his feelings get reciprocated, it's up to the both of them how to level up their relationship. If he gets rejected, then it is what it is. Accept and move on.
The truth is, Doyoung plans on confessing today too. Tonight's the first snow in Korea, the news said. He wants to confess under the snow. Doyoung might think that it's cliche but he's such a romantic person so wants to confess to Junghwan properly. But he has to prepare everything he needs to say. That's why he told Junghwan to not wait for him anymore.
But his plans vanished when he got out of the train and saw Junghwan sitting in the waiting area. So stubborn. He thinks. Junghwan seems to catch his sight because when they lock eyes, the younger stands up and immediately goes to Doyoung.
"I missed you," Junghwan breathes out, engulfing Doyoung into a hug. How Doyoung wants to tell him he missed him too. They missed this, they missed feeling each other's warmth. Doyoung hugs him back, patting the younger's back lightly. He felt like crying. Junghwan is so warm and comfortable he wants to stay in his arms for a very long time.
"How are you?" Junghwan asks, holding Doyoung by his waist. Doyoung then fixes the fringes of Junghwan's hair and answers, "Very busy. That's why I wasn't texting you a lot."
They stared at each other for a very long time before Junghwan kisses Doyoung's forehead. Going out of the train station together with Junghwan holding one of Doyoung's bags, Doyoung told the younger to go to a park first.
Now they're here at a bench of a park they used to play in when they were younger. Until now, the lake in front of it still looks beautiful with the bright moon above them. Doyoung's just waiting for the right time, when the first snow starts to fall. It's been long since he admitted his feelings for Junghwan.
He thought that going to the city would make him forget about it, but it just made him miss Junghwan more and his love deeper. That's when he knew that he can never forget about how Junghwan takes care of him, makes him feel safe everytime, makes him happy, and how Junghwan loves him unconditionally.
Doyoung loves Junghwan unconditionally, too.
Sitting side by side, Doyoung feels a snowflake fall on his hand. Until snow starts to keep falling from the sky. The first snow, it's finally here. Junghwan seems to be surprised beside him, looking abruptly at the sky and raising his hand to feel the snow. He didn't know that it would be today.
But what makes it special is that he's with Doyoung on the first day of snow. There's a myth that if you're with a special someone on the first snowfall, true love will blossom and it will be long-lasting. Now's the time, Doyoung thinks. He looks up and sighs deeply. He turned to look at Junghwan and started speaking.
"Junghwan," he calls. Junghwan looked at him with a small smile. The quiet atmosphere is comforting, he misses having these kinds of moments with Junghwan. "I don't know how to say this but I like you. I love you. Not as a friend but more than that. I just felt like telling you today because it feels right. If you don't like me, I hope this will not make us awkward? I hope that you'll still be bestfriends with me after this. I'm really scared to confess because this might ruin our friendship that we built since we were kids but I really hope not. I know that you don't like me at all and it's—"
Doyoung was cut off when he felt Junghwan's lips on his cheek. He's speechless, not wanting what to say and Junghwan's just smiling at him. "I plan on telling you this today too. I like you too, Dobi. I love you. As a bestfriend and as a man. How can I not? You're a gentleman, kind, selfless, and sweet. I've always loved you, Dobi. Now, can I kiss you properly?" Junghwan said, but Doyoung's still processing what the heck is happening.
Junghwan? His bestfriend? Likes him too? What the heck? Doyoung slaps himself to see if he is dreaming but the slap was painful so it isn't a dream. "Hey, hey why are you slapping yourself," Junghwan panics and gets both of Doyoung's hands.
"You love me too?" Doyoung asks, clarifying to see if what he heard was right. "Yes, Dobi. I love you too." And it was enough for Doyoung to do the first move and kiss Junghwan on the lips. It was a short kiss, just enough to express their feelings for each other.
They broke away and Junghwan hugged Doyoung. Feeling a sense of accomplishment that he can finally admit his feelings to Doyoung. The same goes for Doyoung, he was afraid and worried at first, but it was a great feeling to finally accept his love for Junghwan.
Pressing their foreheads together, Junghwan steals another kiss. A peck, this time. He just can't get enough, he can finally hold Doyoung as long as he wants to. Call Doyoung his. His Dobi.
As for Doyoung, he realizes that all those fears and doubts were a challenge for him to see if he'll still be able to love Junghwan even with his negative thoughts. It was worth it. Junghwan is his now. His Hwani.
After this, they'll probably just figure things out. Everything will be fine as long as they have each other. As long as they are together, nothing could go wrong.
Oh, they're falling in love.