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Nate had always been a man of adventure. He'd traveled the globe, explored the unknown, and faced danger head on. He's faced insane men, cursed Spaniards, near-indescribable guardians, and death-defying feats that no man would have survived.
He's been through it all, had seen it all. Nothing, he thought, could ever truly shake him up, rock him to his core. Losing Sam and nearly losing Sully and Elena had broken him, but this.... This was different. He was experiencing a different type of fear. He thought he’d always be ready for anything but nothing could have prepared him for the news he was about to share with Sam and Sully.
He’d contacted them immediately after he received the news from Elena. Sam and Sully were arriving in town today. A surprise visit that was no longer a surprise due to Sully having told him ahead of time. He asked them if they could meet up. Any other person would have blurted the news over the phone but Nate didn’t want to do that. Sam and Sully deserved to hear the news in person.
The three of them had joined him for a beer or two. Nate listened intently as Sam and Sully regaled him with tales of their recent heist.
Sam proudly showed off the new scar he received over his cheek after a bullet has grazed it, while Sully scolded him for being so reckless. And for a moment, he closed his eyes and basked in the moment, while Sam and Sully bickered off in the distance.
It was like things hadn’t changed at all.
The peacefulness ended quicker than he would have liked when Sam had brought him back to the present. Nate took a breath, a moment to collect himself, “Elena’s pregnant.” Saying it out loud only made it seem more real and he became consumed with that same joy in his heart, as well as that feeling of fear.
For a brief moment, the room was deafeningly quiet, and Nate could only let out a laugh as Sam barreled into him, yanking him into a tight bear hug while Sully chuckled, bringing him into an embrace as Sam let him go and jokingly muttered “Having two of you was enough, I’m gonna need to start smoking two a day with having three Drakes running around.”
Nate chuckled, “C’mon, we’re not that bad.”
Sully narrowed his eyes and and let out a loud laugh, “My grays say otherwise.” He clapped Nate once more on the back before promptly leaving to go get more drinks to celebrate.
Nate watched as Sam chuckled behind him as he leaned against the wall, gazing at him with pride and fondness, he averted his gaze, “What?”
Sam let out a huff of disbelief, “I just can’t believe it, my baby brother, having a baby of his own.”
Nate didn’t know why that had suddenly dipped his feelings in the opposite direction but they did. All at once, he began to nervously pace back and forth in his living room, and without even realizing it, he reached up to fiddle with the ring that he assumed was still tied to that string against his chest.
He lost Drake’s ring years ago and yet he still felt that compulsion, that tick to play with it when he was nervous. “Woah, hey. Nathan, what’s wrong?” Sam looked confused at his sudden change in demeanor, his brother was at his side in a matter of seconds, a steady hand gripped his shoulder and Nate all but leaned into it.
“What if I’m awful at it?” He asked, his voice just barely above a whisper. “Being a dad, that’s a big deal. What if I turn out like dad, I mean, he just left us, like we were nothing.“
The very idea that he would turn out like David Morgan scared him.
He never discussed the emotional impact his father's abandonment had on him. When Elena had asked him, he pretended it was no big deal, something he'd gotten over years ago. But given the reaction he was having currently. It was clear that wasn’t the case.
Even after all these years, he hadn't dealt with it properly, even now as an adult himself, he was still so very angry and resentful towards the man that was suppose to have been lifting him up his whole life, encouraging him, being a father. But instead David Morgan had made the conscious decision that neither of them were worth it anymore. And Nate clung to Sam and Sully as a result of that abandonment, he’d been so scared of losing them, of being abandoned again and now he was terrified of doing the same to his own child.
“I’m scared,” His voice trailed off when Sam gripped the back of his neck, “I don’t wanna turn out like him…”
“Now you listen here, little brother.” Sam’s voice was firm now, effectively using his ‘big brother’ tone with him, as he looked at him directly in the eyes. “You aren’t him, alright. Dad only ever cared about himself. He never wanted a family to begin with and was glad to be rid of us. But you? You’ve always wanted a family. That’s always just been part of you.”
Nate knew Sam was right, he knew that deep down and yet there was still a part of him that continued to hold on to that feeling, “How’d you do it? You practically raised me when you were only a kid yourself. God knows I was a handful, dad was sick of me after mom— how’d you not leave me too?”
The expression on Sam’s face made him immediately regret his words, the shocked disbelief, the hurt. “Nathan, you and I only ever had each other. The moment dad decided we weren’t worth his time, that’s when I decided that you would be worth all of mine. But I wasn’t perfect back then, Nathan. I’m still not. Victor was a far better parent then I was—“
Nate knew the extent of Sam’s low self worth, knew his brother had a tendency to think little of himself so he was quick to argue back, “No, that’s not true. You were always there for me. You did the best you could.”
Sam shook his head, “But I should’ve been better—“ He watched his brother close his eyes for a moment. “We may have his DNA in us, Nathan. But neither of us will ever be like him, we care too much about this little family of ours to ever throw it away like he did with us.”
Nate smiled, grateful that Sam would always be there to ground him back to reality, but there still was that feeling of fear. “I just don’t want to mess this up, you know? What dad did to us, the impact it left behind, I don’t want to be that kind of parent, I wanna do this right.”
“Nathan, there’s no rule book to being a parent, you’re gonna make mistakes but you just do the best you can.” Sam placed a gentle hand on top of his head and ruffled his hair. “Trust me, little brother, that kid is gonna be smothered with so much love that they’ll get sick of it.”
Nate let out a laugh, pushing Sam’s hand away. “Do you really think I’ll be good at this?”
“Absolutely. You’re gonna be like, a soccer dad, all knee highs and short shorts, embarrassing them at soccer practice and dropping them off at school. You got any names picked out?”
Nate smiled at Sam’s question. He and Elena had talked about names depending on the gender of the baby. “Actually yeah, Henry if it’s a boy, after Elena’s dad.”
Sam let out a laugh, “Still reserving Victor for your dog you're gonna get?”
Nate snickered, shaking his head, “Elena suggested Victor. We can go either way depending on how things will go, you know?”
Sam nodded. “Sure. So what about a girl? Little Elena Jr?”
Nate bowed his head a moment, he thought about Sam’s reaction and it made him smile, “Actually, we thought about Cassandra, for—“ Nate had barely finished his sentence before his brother drew him into a bear hug.
He returned it immediately, tightening his grip on Sam once he noticed a faint trembling in his arms.
They stayed like that for a moment. Nate remained silent and just held his brother as Sam tried to compose himself. He predicted this would be Sam’s reaction. For as much as he loved their mother, his memory of their mother had blurred with time and now whenever he thought about either of his parents, Sam and Sully’s faces were all he could picture.
He still loved his mother, that's why he wanted to name his child after her; he knew it would be the perfect way to honor her and everything she'd stood for. But Nate knew for a long time now that Sam had a deeper connection with their mother. Sam's love for Cassandra Morgan was larger than he could comprehend; hell, half the reason his brother was so obsessed with finding Avery's treasure was to honor and complete their mother's work, to keep her memory alive. It was all he had to hold onto during the thirteen years of hell.
He squeezed Sam tighter to him, “I take it you approve?”
Sam let out a joyous laugh that turned into a sob as he practically crushed Nate’s rib cage in their embrace. “Yes I approve! I’m speechless, holy shit Nathan!”
Nate chuckled at the memory that popped into his head, “That’s still your idea of speechless?”
Sam flicked him on the back of the head for that, “Shut up and let me enjoy this.”
He smirked and squeezed his brother one last time before pulling away, making sure to keep his hand on Sam’s shoulder to keep them both stable as they sat down as Sam scrubbed at his face. “So you really think I’ll be good at this whole father thing. That I’ll… you know do her proud?”
Sam gave him a look that held not a single shred of uncertainty. “Ah, little brother, you already have.”
For the first time since learning such big news, Nate finally felt like he could be exactly that. Being a loving father, loving his child in the same way that Sam and Sully had loved and cared for him, and that meant more to him than all the riches in the world.