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The Wanderer turns to leave.
It's about time, as he is emotionally spent. Gaining his vision restored only some of his vigor.
He says his goodbyes and walks through the massive doors of the Sanctuary of Surasthana. But as soon as Sumerus' warm air hits him, he stops, and draws in a sharp breath.
There's a fluttering sensation in his chest.
Impossible, he thinks, but places his hand on his chest where a human heart should be. The feeling continues, now reminding him of a caged bird, beating its wings against the metal bars, demanding to be free.
But this sensation is not pleasant. Wanderer feels panic build up in his throat. What is happening?
He hears his name. His new name, bestowed upon him by the Traveler whom he once sought to kill.
"Hmm?" he turns around and meets Aether's eyes.
Aether, his name is Aether. Traveler is but a title. Just like his.
"Are you wondering where to go?" the blonde asks sympathetically.
"Huh. I just told you what my destination is-
Ah," he clutches his chest involuntarily.
The Traveler's gaze changes instantly, worry creeping into his expression. Wanderer smiles a bitter smile.
"Would you believe me if I told you... no, it's stupid. This is so dumb-"
Aether is a solid presence next to him and does not let these words slip away so easily.
"Just tell me."
Wanderer shakes his head in bewilderment. "It's impossible, but... I feel like my heart is fluttering in my chest."
Aether's look is puzzled.
Of course it makes no sense, Wanderer thinks. He thinks I'm messing with him.
"I see. And how does that make you feel?"
Oh? So he does believe him. The puppet looks back at him briefly, before delving into his emotions. Meanwhile, something very heavy sits down in his stomach. "Surprisingly, I feel kind of scared," he admits. And surprisingly, he is not reluctant to share it with the blonde. Traveler already saw him in his weakest moments, yet he didn't use it to his advantage or to make fun of him. "This is not a good feeling. It just makes me worried,“ he adds quietly.
Aethers hand on his brings him out of his musings.
"Do you trust me?"
"Yes," the puppet says with no hesitation, "But why does it matter now-"
"I'm very sure as to what it is that you're experiencing," Aether squeezes his hand and Wanderer thinks about how warm it feels. "We both need to rest, but you especially. How about we go to the room I'm renting and I'll help you through this?"
Wanderer slowly shakes his head. "Are you trying to put me in more debt?"
Traveler only scoffs. "Nahida explained it already. There are no books to be balanced, as you said. It is just how you learned to perceive the world." He gives him a gentle squeeze of his hand. "I guess you just need someone to show you that it is not like that. At least not with everyone."
Wanderer turns his head away in contemplation and sighs. But his heart is still beating against the cage of his ribs and now a tightness in his throat creeps in as well.
"Fine. I'll let you help me " he croaks out.
Aether shoots him another concerned look and wastes no time dragging him with along.
***
Wanderer sits on a wide bed and sips mint tea. The more bitter - the better, he said to Aether and the Traveler did indulge him. However delicious his tea was, he felt like it can hardly slip past his tight throat. The mattress dips down next to him.
"Alright, tell me what do you feel."
Wanderer raises a brow, but answers nonetheless. The traveler told him that will help him, right? “My heart is still beating so hard and it feels heavy. And there's a pang in my chest as if I just heard terrifying news. My throat is tight and there's this feeling of dread deep down in my stomach."
He lets out a frustrated sigh. "This makes no sense. I am hardly in any imminent danger. And last time I checked, I don't have a heart…"
Aether nods at him. "Yeah, this makes no sense.
Wanderer looks up, brows furrowed. Of course this is dumb, maybe he should just leave-
"No, wait," Aether grabs his hand as the puppet stands up. The touch is firm but it somehow doesn't feel intrusive. Wanderer sits down. "What I meant is, sometimes human bodies behave in a way that is beyond logical. Sometimes we just don't make sense."
We?
"I see. But why a beating of the heart? I don't have one."
Aether smiled at him gently.
"That's quite a broad topic - but from what I recently read, all that you feel comes from your brain. And yours might be just simulating your heartbeat."
"Mhm," the puppet scratches his chin. It kinda made sense, but-
"Why does it beat so fast and feels so heavy?"
"When a person is stressed and under pressure, the heart quickens its pace so blood can circulate faster. So our reactions are quick and we are ready to react. Like a coiled spring - bent and ready to spring back."
"But this is so frustrating!" …and scary, Wanderer thinks. "There is no danger here. There wasn't when I left the sanctuary. And I'm not even a human!" he shakes his head.
"Yeah, but..." Aether rests the other hand over his. It is now enveloped in a gentle warmth and a much different feeling passes quickly through Wanderer's heart. The Traveler continues. "You have been through a lot today. Your brain might be still processing all of it. And even if you're not exactly a human, you were created in an image of one. It could be that your body emulates the behavior of one."
"Ugh," Wanderer croaks, not trying to tone down his frustration this time. "How do I make it stop? I don't want this."
The traveler smiles at him sadly. "You don't."
"What? But you told me that you’re going to help me-"
"And I will. But the best way to deal with it is to wait until it passes. It is like of a wave that flows over the beach, covering and overwhelming it… but it withdraws later."
And so they begin to wait.
***
Wanderer notices more symptoms. His hands shake slightly. His forehead grows cold. Aether still holds his hand but the Wanderer draws it back after it gets too clammy.
"Tell me five things you see."
"Why?"
"You're thinking about how painful and unpleasant it is. And how you want it to be over. We can try to take your mind off these things."
Wanderer starts to talk. There is a green vase on the windowsill. Broken shells of one that were hastily brushed away in the corner. There's a nightlight by the bed, its green light soft and comforting. There are wooden doors that are shut... not to imprison but to protect him and let him rest... There's a half full teacup on the table beside them.
They talk quietly for what feels like hours. Aether does most of the talking, but the puppet doesn’t mind. His voice is quiet and pleasant to listen to. He tells him about Mondstadt’s windgliding, Liyue’s merchants, Inazuman book editors. He talks a little about his friends too. Wanderer asks about his favorite books. Turns out the traveler reads quite a lot in whatever spare time he has. His favorite would be a fairytale book which his friend misplaced once and gave him instead of windglider instructions.
In his previous life, the puppet might have laughed at the choice. Might say that it's a childish and pathetic book to consider a favourite.
In the life he lives now, he kind of wants to read it... out of curiosity of the Traveler's choice.
The feeling of his heart racing and all the unpleasant sensations dissipate over time. He doesn't even notice that the evening came already.
"I... I feel much better," he says.
Aether beams at him. "That's great!" However he yawns soon after. "We can get some rest now."
Sudden flush came to Wanderer’s face as he realized that Aether didn't get the sleep he much needed because of him.
“Thank you." He says quietly, as if afraid of the Traveler to hear. His former enemy smiles back at him. "You didn't have to do this for me."
"But I wanted to. And please remember, there are no strings attached as I don't want anything in return... Now, lemme just..." he shrugs off the top part of his armor along with the shoes and plops onto the bed with a satisfied sigh.
Wanderer picks up his hat and turns to leave.
"Aw, come on," Aether chuckles. Aren't you dead tired?"
"I am, but-"
"I don't know how best to assure you, but let me just clarify. Your presence is welcome" Aether smiles at him and the puppet instinctively dips down his hat to hide the faint blush that appeared on his face. "And there's plenty of space here-"
“Alright, shut up. I’m coming over."
Normally aether would be annoyed but his snark being back meant that he really felt much better.
Wanderer takes off the hat and shrugs off some of the outer clothing. Hesitantly, he slides in next to the Traveler. The bed is indeed big enough to put some distance between them. He finds that he does feel pretty comfortable.
He shuffles a few times, trying to find the right position. He feels good but this situation makes him feel emotions, again.
"You good?" he hears Aether whisper.
"Yeah," he assures him. "It's just. It brings back some of my memories. It's been quite a long time since I slept next to someone."
Judging by the Traveler’s tone, he can tell that he's smiling. "There’s plenty of time to make up for it."
"...You want me on your adventures?"
"Sure. If you want to. You're free, so it's your own decision to be made."
You're free.
Wanderer looks at the soft glow of the vision placed carefully on the table and closes his eyes.