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Chapter Text

Saturday, October 1st 12:56 pm

Brittany: Hi I just came to say Alvin sucks

Brittany: That is all

Alvin: Not as much as your MOM OHHHHH

Brittany: How mature

Alvin: Didn't you know that's my middle name, Britt?

Brittany: Really? I thought it was "Disaster"

Theodore: I thought it was trouble?

Alvin: Shhhh Theodore don't agree with her!

Eleanor: How about "catastrophic"?

Simon: Last time I checked it was "Rules".

Jeanette: Does Alvin even have a middle name?

Alvin: No.

Theodore: What!? I thought you had some kind of middle name that kept changing??

Brittany: Changing?

Alvin: Shhh Theo, they don't need to know okay?

Brittany: I absolutely do

Brittany: Now I'm especially intrigued

Eleanor: Wow Britt, using big words now?

Brittany: Last time I checked we were clowning Alvin right now

Brittany: Not me

Simon: Wait, Theodore are you referring to how Alvin constantly picks out a new middle name to make a point in whatever argument he's in or has Alvin told you something else?

Theodore: Sorry, I can't say. :(

Alvin: You're making it sound like I do that all the time

Simon: You do.

Alvin: You're so dramatic

Simon: That's hilarious. Me? Dramatic?

Brittany: Theodore, I have extra chocolate with me if you tell me

Eleanor: Don't bribe him!

Theodore: Um, no thanks, Brittany.

Brittany: Fine

Brittany: I’ll find out one way or another

Alvin: Sure you will

Alvin: Also what is that supposed to mean smart guy?

Simon: It means I know very well every single one of you can hear the dryness in my voice as I type out every message.

Brittany: I know

Simon: Do you think I'm giggling and smiling or something, Alvin?

Theodore: Sometimes I like to pretend...

Alvin: I’m sure you think you're hilarious

Alvin: Which you AREN'T btw

Brittany: Because you're a comedic genius

Simon: Yeahh, because ALVIN SEVILLE is the one person I should trust when it comes to comedy.

Eleanor: 👀

Alvin: Hey hey hey one at a time

Theodore: Wait, what are we doing? I want to join!

Eleanor: No Theo, let Simon and Brittany throw all their inner rage onto him by themselves

Theodore: Oh, okay. :(

Brittany: No, let him

Simon: Yeah actually, I want to hear what Theodore has to say about Alvin's comedic brilliance.

Brittany: If we all come together maybe we can defeat the evil

Alvin: Theodore thinks I'm hilarious thank you

Alvin: Oh okay Brittany whatever you say

Theodore: Well, Alvin tells me lots of jokes! Sometimes it's funny when he does that joke where he hypes himself up for a slam dunk and gets stuck in the net! 

Theodore: And I thought Jeanette was going to get stuck!

Jeanette: Yeah!

Alvin: 😒

Alvin: I think they get it

Brittany: Actually I need more details

Theodore: Yeah, we got a little worried once he started crying.

Alvin: OKAY MOVING ON

Theodore: It didn't seem AS funny then..

Simon: God, I wish I was there.

Brittany: Why was I not there to see this?

Brittany: And film it

Theodore: Well, Jeanette took a video!

Theodore: That's why Alvin invited her to watch! To record him and his funny joke!

Brittany: SHE DID?

Brittany: And didn't show me!?

Eleanor: Probably because you're reacting like this

Simon: Hey Jeanette, do you think you'd be able to send me a video of that stunt? I promise not to show Brittany.

Brittany: She's MY sister, so she should show it to me

Simon: Yeah, but she's my best friend and she knows I won't overreact when I see it.

Brittany: “Best friend"

Simon: Tf you putting that in quotation marks for?

Alvin: Noone is showing anyone anything

Brittany: No reason Simon ✨

Alvin: Jeanette, I think as your good friend and colleague it might be in your best interest to delete the video

Jeanette: Guys can you all just calm down, please?

Eleanor: Think about who you're talking to Jeanette

Brittany: It's okay

Brittany: I’ll get my hands on it someday

Simon: “No reason”? 

Simon: ✨ 🥺 👍🏽  Okay, bitch 😇 🧚🏻♀️ 💕

Alvin: Woah woah Simon

Alvin: We don't call women bitches

Simon: LMAO SAYS YOU

Brittany: You literally called me a bitch yesterday

Simon: It's also what he calls girls he talks to..

Jeanette: Guys! Please don't fight!

Jeanette: Look, how about we compromise?

Alvin: Okay that was for a good reason though

Simon: WHAT GOOD REASON?

Jeanette: I send a copy of the video to Brittany and Simon and then delete the video?

Alvin: NO

Jeanette: Isn't that a good compromise!

Brittany: Yes!

Simon: Yup, it certainly is!

Alvin: NO DO NOT JEANETTE I AM BEGGING YOU

Alvin: WHAT DO YOU WANT?

Alvin: I have 20 dollars on me PLEASE

Eleanor: This interaction is giving me second-hand embarrassment

Jeanette: I want you guys to stop fighting!

Jeanette: That's the whole point of the compromise.

Alvin: Don't you see? That's what they want you to think!

Alvin: After you send them that video it'll be ALL they talk about and then they'll make a fool out of me

Alvin: This is my reputation we're talking about!

Theodore: Well, Alvin DOES care a lot about this reputation...

Jeanette: Oh, you're right.

Brittany: What reputation?

Simon: ^^

Alvin: Haha hilarious

Jeanette: Don't worry, Alvin, I'll delete the video.

Alvin: Thank you Jeanette

Brittany: Lame

Jeanette: Everyone gets hurt once in a while it's not fair to make fun of someone for that.

Eleanor: Well, maybe if it's Alvin

Jeanette: Is this what you guys would do if I fell over or got stuck somewhere?

Alvin: Excellent point

Simon: No Jeanette, because we love you. It's different.

Alvin: gasp

Alvin: Betrayed by my own brother!

Alvin: Who doesn't even love me!

Simon: I mean, we love Alvin too, but the difference is we like and love you Jeanette.

Simon: Alvin's my brother, so I'll always love him, but I don't always like him.

Jeanette: That's very wise, Simon!

Jeanette: But still, I'm going to delete it.

Brittany: What is there to even like about Alvin ever?

Theodore: Awh, it's okay guys! Don't be sad! You can just come to his next basketball match!

Simon: Quite a few things, Brittany.

Alvin: My charm and awesomeness, duh

Simon: I’ve actually made a chart.

Alvin: Wait......Simon, DEFENDING me?

Simon: Don't forget your aMaZiNG spelling and grammar, Alvin.

Simon”: awesomeness"

Alvin: Okay then how do you spell it?

Simon: Say something like, "My charm and how awesome I am."

Brittany: I’d like to see this chart for myself bc I'm not buying it

Jeanette: Yeah, Simon's right. There's not really a correct way to spell "awesomeness".

Alvin: Dude that's a way less cool way of saying it

Theodore: Alvin kinda has a point..

Alvin: See! Theo's on my side

Alvin: And he always knows what he's talking about

Simon: The chart’s not free Brittany. Pay up. 

Brittany: Oh please, Simon

Simon: Nevermind guys, turns out Alvin IS a comedic genius! No offense Theodore.

 Simon: Also Brittany, try me. Do you think I'm the kind to be kidding?

Alvin: Wait I would actually like to see this chart thingie you're talking about

Alvin: My brother saying great things about me?

Simon: No one's getting that information for free.

Jeanette: *thing, Alvin

Alvin: Oh come on! Thingie is definitely a word

Alvin: If it wasn't then my autocorrect would have changed it

Simon: Watch how you talk to Jeanette, Alvin, or you're not seeing anything.

Simon: Besides, the chart is practically microscopic.

Brittany: Look I'm sure whatever this chart is contains like....one nice thing he did maybe

Simon: I basically surveyed Theodore and Jeanette and just wrote the most realistic things up.

Alvin: Y’all just don't see my true potential

Jeanette: Everyone has potential! Even Alvin!

Alvin: Thanks...

Brittany: The one good thing about Alvin is that he's easy to make fun of

Simon: To Brittany, everyone's easy to make fun of.

Brittany: Fair point

Brittany: But he is the easiest

Jeanette: To you at least.

Jeanette: Making fun of people doesn't come so easily to the rest of us :(

Alvin: Keep talking Britt

Alvin: This'll catch up to you someday

Brittany: yawn

Theodore: Well, Alvin's cool, he's fun, he stands up for me, he's always got some crazy idea to save the day and sometimes he does do awesome stuff!

Brittany: Anyone hear something?

Theodore: I heard a bird outside my window just now!

Alvin: See? That's what I'm talkin bout

Eleanor: No Theo, that's not

Eleanor: Nvm

Alvin: Theodore is the only one on my side

Simon: Alvin, you annoy me, but unfortunately, I have to agree with Theodore's earlier statement.

Alvin: Oh really?

Simon: NOT THE ONE ABOUT THE BIRD.

Simon: But yes, because unfortunately, you're also my brother.

Brittany: Alvin? Cool?

Brittany: The other statements I might agree with

Simon: I’m sure your sisters know what you really think about Alvin..

Theodore: Brittany, if Simon can be nice, you can too!

Jeanette: Yeah, but Simon's usually nicer than Brittany, Theo..

Brittany: Um, I AM nice thank you

Eleanor: Oh yeah, totally

Brittany: I was nice enough to let you both have one from my lipgloss collection

Jeanette: Oh yeah! Thanks for that, Brittany.

Jeanette: But we didn't want the lipgloss and I got an allergic reaction...

Eleanor: The one that you bought with Ms. Miller's credit card without her permission?

But we didn't want the lipgloss and I got an allergic reaction...

Brittany: You're welcome, Jeanette

Simon: For the allergic reaction?

Brittany: And Eleanor that is IRRELEVANT

Alvin: Hah! See?

Alvin: Brittany is no better

Brittany: Wait a second, what the actual FUCK does “I’m sure your sisters know what you really think about Alvin” mean!?

Brittany: AND HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW YOU WOULD HAVE A REACTION TO IT!?

Simon: Bitch, it means the same thing you always try to get out of me during those STUPID Truth Or Dare games you always force me into joining.

Jeanette: Well, I tried to tell you beforehand but it's okay, it's in the past now, Brittany. 💗

Simon: JEANETTE MIGHT FORGIVE BUT I DON’T FORGET, BRITTANY.

Alvin: Oooooooooh

Theodore: Simon you double crossed her!

Simon: I wasn't on anyone's side in the first place, Theo.

Brittany: I don't appreciate your language being used towards me Simon

Brittany: Besides, I have no idea what you're even referring to

Eleanor: sigh

Eleanor: Yes you do

Eleanor: You just won't admit it

Theodore: To be fair, he didn't get his usual espresso in the morning. :(

Alvin: Oh ffs just tell me what you meant by that Si

Alvin: Is Britt hiiiiiiding something?

Jeanette: Oh my gosh, Simon! You managed to turn your usual jug of strong black coffee into just one cup of espresso? That's amazing!!

Simon: Yup, and now, my body doesn't want to function anymore, so I am leaving.

Brittany: I am not hiding anything

Simon: Jeanette, Theodore, if you want to talk to me, just give me a call. I'm leaving the rest of you to deal with this BS.

Simon: Good luck.

Brittany: Simon is implying bullshit because he's an asshole

Alvin: That's not a very nice thing to say about my brother

Jeanette: Yeah! :(

Eleanor: Yeah I'm tired of this too ngl

Simon: Fun fact: I'm a chipmunk.

Simon: Can't blame you for that, Eleanor.

Brittany: Alvin cut the shit

Theodore: Wait you guys thought Simon wasn't a chipmunk?

Alvin: ✂️ 💩

Jeanette: Theodore, I'll explain later.

Simon: Only Alvin would use the poop emoji.

Jeanette: And Theodore, that one time.

Simon: Oh, please don't remind me.

Theodore: Awh, c'mon guys! It's a funny emoji!

Alvin: One of the best might I add

Theodore: Look at his funny face: 💩

Eleanor: Okay I think I've seen enough

Theodore: I always laugh when I see it!  

Eleanor: Brittany please stop screaming at your computer, we can both hear you from downstairs

Simon: Oh, she's screaming?

Eleanor: When is she not?

Simon: Sounds like we drive her crazy. She must think we're amazing friends.

Brittany: Sorry, I just needed a minute

Jeanette: That's okay, Brittany.

Alvin: So this is the emotionally stable being that we think has a right to insult me?

Simon: He makes a good point..

Brittany: Listen you ksdjfohiugkijlkofgjdlj

Eleanor: More screaming

Theodore: Oh no!

Theodore: Is she having a seizure!? Has she fallen down??

Brittany: I’ve had enough.

Eleanor: No Theo, she's just Brittany

Alvin: This is very entertaining

Theodore: Oh. Does that mean all girls named Brittany do that?

Alvin: Shall I head over to the Miller residence?

Jeanette: Alvin, NO.

Simon: Absolutely not.

Brittany: Do you want to die?

Alvin: Sometimes

Theodore: Does Brittany Spears do that too?

Jeanette: No, Theodore, it's BRITNEY Spears.

Simon: Theodore's in a whole different conversation right now.

Alvin: Wait THAT WAS A JOKE I SWEAR

Jeanette: DON'T JOKE LIKE THAT!!! yOU SCARED ME!

Simon: Yeah, me too, you idiot!

Brittany: I wouldn't care

 Simon: Watch your mouth + didn't ask.

Alvin: Haha yup

Eleanor: Except you would, Britt

Jeanette: Eleanor's right.

Theodore: What about that girl we met in Mexico, named Brittany?

Brittany: My life would literally be soooooo much better if Alvin dropped dead 

Simon: Theodore, I love you but please give it a rest.

Simon: HAHAHAH BRITTANY'S A COMIC, TOO!

Simon: The more you learn, folks!

Alvin: Oh would it now?

Alvin: So if I died today you wouldn't care? At all?

Alvin: Would you celebrate?

Simon: Can't believe she'd spread misinformation like that, smh.

Simon: Yeah, Brittany. Would you?

Eleanor: Why on Earth are we talking about this?

Brittany: What?

Brittany: Um

Theodore: Not sure, I thought we were talking about Britney Spears.

Alvin: Come on Brittany answer the fucking question

Brittany: I’m not doing that

Simon: I knew you struggled with maths, but I didn't know this was a hard subject.

Jeanette: We can help you answer if you want!

Brittany: Do you actually think I'm that coldhearted?

Brittany: I wouldn't celebrate anybody's death

Brittany: Even yours

Alvin: Interesting

Simon: He knows that, that's why he asked.

Alvin: So you do care

Brittany: No

Alvin: Liar

Brittany: I am NOT lying

Alvin: Liar liar pants on fire

Simon: Actually, you're contradicting your earlier statement, so you are.

Jeanette: I love the difference in the way Alvin and Simon talk.

Jeanette: The contrast is hilarious.

Brittany: How am I contradicting? I'm not gonna celebrate someone’s death but that doesn't mean I would care about it

Alvin: You’re right Jeanette

Alvin: Simon talks way too formally

Eleanor: Oh my god Britt give it up

Eleanor: We all care about Alvin in some sort of weird way

Brittany: I literally don't

Jeanette: Yes, but you said "Liar liar pants on fire"

Jeanette: Guys. I think you're missing the point.

Alvin: It's called a phrase Jeanette

Jeanette: Of all people, I definitely know what a phrase is, Alvin.

Jeanette: But, guys. There's nothing wrong about caring for someone. That's a GOOD thing.

Brittany: Of course it is

Brittany: Which is why Alvin doesn't deserve that

Jeanette: Unless it's some evil manipulative crazy maniac, and that's not Alvin.

Alvin: It's okay

Simon: Not coldhearted you said?

Alvin: Everyone else cares a lot about me so I don't need your approval

Brittany: Read what you just wrote one more time Jeanette

Brittany: That's NOT Alvin?

Jeanette: It's not!

Jeanette: Alvin's right, we shouldn't need to depend on one person's approval to feel valued and cared for.

Alvin: Right!

Brittany: I can name several who care less about you than I do

Jeanette: We need to use our own confidence to reaffirm our own self worth!

Alvin: Fuck approval!

Simon: And we all know, Alvin has a LOT of confidence.

Alvin: You know it 

Simon: God, this feels like the hour that follows every self-deprecating comment I make around Jeanette.

Simon: Usually, I'd be thankful for it, but you're all so stubborn and in denial.

Simon: (not you theo and jeanette)

Eleanor: Ironically I sometimes feel like the ones with the worst self-confidence issues are the cockiest ones in this group

Eleanor: If you know what I mean

Simon: No, you're definitely right.

Alvin: That makes zero sense

Simon: Studies show that sometimes the most insecure people feel the need to be the loudest.

Brittany: Puhlease Ellie

Simon: Of course, there are exceptions, like Jeanette.

Brittany: Alvin? Confidence issues?

Simon: I don't mean that rudely, Jeanette, I just mean you're the sweetest.

Eleanor: I wasn't talking about just Alvin

Simon: Yeah, you too, Brittany.

Brittany: You're just jealous because I'm comfortable with myself

Theodore: All I wanted to do was talk about Britney Spears and now this is a therapy session.

Alvin: Brittany's right

Alvin: Fuck did I really just say that?

Brittany:I'm not sure, maybe you should say it again?

Alvin: Anyways

Alvin: Self confidence issues haven't even heard of me

Eleanor: You two are either in denial or you just don't want to admit it

Eleanor: But you're both easier to read than you might think

Simon: Eleanor has a point.

Jeanette: Simon, Ellie, I think you guys need to be careful... the last thing I want is to send Alvin and Brittany into an identity crisis over Discord.

Eleanor: I suppose you're right, Jean

Simon: Yeah, besides, it's not like we'll really get through to them anyway.

Alvin: I’m very comfortable in who I am actually

Theodore: NOW can we talk about the truth bomb that was unleashed upon me a few minutes ago!?

Theodore: The one about all girls named Brittany!??

Simon: LATER, Theodore.

Eleanor: Theo….

Chapter Text

Saturday, October 1st 2:03 pm

Theodore: What happens if I marry a girl named Brittany!? What if she has a seizure, what if I'm not prepared to help!?!?!

Jeanette: Theo, you're thinking too far ahead. How about we talk about this in my PMs?

Eleanor: Please don't marry a girl named Brittany

Simon: Yeah, I won't allow that, Theo.

Theodore: Okay, Jeanette! And okay Simon and Eleanor!

Brittany: And why is that, Eleanor?

Eleanor: Because that would be weird?

Theodore: Brittany, I think it's because apparently, all girls named Brittany are the same in some ways.

Brittany: We are

Simon: Holy shit, Theo. That was such a backhanded answer.

Brittany: All Brittanys are beautiful sexy creatures with a knack for talent

Alvin: LMAO

Theodore: Even the lizard named Brittany at the Zoo?

Brittany: Um, sure

Simon: HE DOESN'T EVEN REALIZE HOW HARD HE'S ROASTING YOUR ASS

Simon: It's a scientific marvel!

Theodore: Roasting?

Jeanette: sigh

Alvin: Theodore, PLEASE tell me you at least know what roasting is

Theodore : Like chicken?

Theodore: Roasting chicken?

Eleanor: NO

Alvin: Oh my god I've failed you

Jeanette: Hey, Theodore, I've sent you a funny minion GIF, how about we talk about it privately?

Alvin: NOT THE MINIONS

Theodore: Oh, that sounds fun! :D

Brittany: Those ugly motherfuckers

Theodore: Hey! They're not ugly! They're adorable!

Theodore: And Bob is actually VERY handsome.

Brittany: They have no hair and big bobble eyes

Brittany: Disgusting if you ask me

Alvin: I need to fix this

Theodore: AND it's VERy understandable why they love bananas so much! They're delicious

Alvin: My brother is becoming Gen X cringe

Simon: More like Boomer cringe.

Simon: He puts the baby in boomer...

Jeanette: SIMON-

Alvin: AHAHA THAT'S A GOOD ONE SI

Alvin: I’m saving that

Theodore: MINIONS ARE BEAUTIFUL!!!!

Theodore: #MINIONSAREBEAUTIFUL

Eleanor: Some people are bald, Brittany

Jeanette: Yeah, Brittany!

Brittany: They're YELLOW

Theodore: YELLOW PEOPLE/CREATURES ARE BEAUTIFUL!!

Theodore: THEY DESERVE TO BE LOVED

Eleanor: Um, maybe we should stop here

Simon: Miss Brittany Miller, you've unleashed hell upon as all.

Jeanette: hey, Theo!

Brittany: Oh my GOD I did not mean it like that and you all know it

Alvin: What do you have against Asians, Britt?

Eleanor: STOP IT RIGHT NOW

Brittany: ALVIN I AM ABOUT TO MARCH OVER AND BEAT YOUR ASS 

Jeanette: THEODORE, CAN WE PLEASE TALK ABOUT THE RECIPE IN MY PMS???

Theodore: Okay!

Alvin: Do it you won’t Britt

Jeanette: No offense, Brittany, but Alvin is much stronger than you..

Brittany: Is NOT

Simon: It's her anger that fuels her strength, Jeanette.

Simon: And she's got a LOT of anger.

Alvin: I’m pretty sure I'm the one who plays sports guys

Alvin: You're forgetting

Alvin: Brittany hasn't even touched a soccer ball

Jeanette: She did when she threw it at your head last month.

Alvin: She's too scared it'll break one of her nails

Jeanette: What about that time she beat up an entire gang because they chipped one of her nails?

Alvin: Okay AND? She wouldn't stand a chance against me

Brittany: Don't test me Alvin

Brittany: Meet me outside and we'll find out

Eleanor: We are NOT scheduling a fight

Simon: And the time she beat your ass in soccer.

Alvin: THAT WAS BECAUSE SHE CHEATED

Simon: Yeah, sure.

Simon: Hey Jeanette, I have a hypothesis.

Jeanette: Oh, what is it?

Simon: If I tell Brittany what Alvin told me last week, then she'll have enough anger to pummel him into the ground.

Brittany: Tell me WHAT?

Brittany: Also I did not cheat

Brittany: Falling to the ground and pretending to pass out is my strategy, thank you

Brittany: The fact that you were gullible enough to fall for it makes it fair

Jeanette: She has a point.

Alvin: That's not how you play soccer!

Eleanor: SIMON WHY ARE YOU FUELING THIS

Jeanette: He can't function properly without his usual jug of strong black coffee.

Simon: ALSO, ALVIN BROKE MY TIME MACHINE 3 TIMES THIS MONTH!

Alvin: You're forgetting the word accidentally

Simon: The world has given up on me. There is nothing left. I might as well spread discord and chaos.

Eleanor: For the love of god

Jeanette: Simon, PLEASE, It was just coffee!!!

Simon: Sorry, Jean. It's too good to keep to myself.

Simon: "Hey, Si. If you rearrange the letters in 'Brittany', you get: 'tiny brat'.

Simon: That's what he told me last week.

Jeanette: Oh my god, he's done it.

Brittany: What?

Jeanette: Okay, well Theodore and I will be having fun talking about cupcakes, bye.

Eleanor: Can I please join?

Jeanette: Sure, Ellie! I'll make a group chat!

Eleanor: Thank god

Brittany: …

Alvin: It's true

Alvin: And they say I'm not good with words

Simon: Looks like his English lessons are paying off...

Brittany: You have ten minutes to live, Seville

Alvin: Ooooh, I'm SO SCARED

Simon: Gotta love the confidence he has though, translating the situation to his ego.

Brittany: You should be

Simon: Guys, relax. I know my hypothesis is incorrect, sorry Brittany, but you're not gonna be able to do shit.

Simon: I’m not THAT unhinged as to put my own brother in danger.

Eleanor: I’m staying out of this

Brittany: Oh it's a little too late Simon

Simon: Like Jeanette said, it was just one jug of coffee. I can work without it.

Brittany: He's going to wish he was never born

Simon: Alright, good luck you two.

Alvin: Keep going

Alvin: This is hilarious

Brittany: It won't be funny when I'm finished with you

Alvin: You won't even get to start with me

Brittany: Five minutes

Brittany: I’ll give you a chance to apologize

Simon : So glad Theodore’s not here.

Alvin: For what?

Alvin: Hurting your precious ego?

Simon: He's one to talk...

Brittany: No

Brittany: For being a jerk

Alvin: I did nothing wrong your honor

Alvin: I’m innocent 

Brittany: One minute

Brittany: I’m outside your house

Alvin: You're seriously going to try to beat me up?

Simon: Oh please. Knowing you'll too, you'll just end up aggressively flirting and being mean to each other.

Simon: It's all trash talk.

Simon: Bunch of shit.

Alvin: Simon you don't know what you're talking about

Brittany: Do I look like a coward?

Simon: Ooh, bad question, Britt. Kinda setting yourself up there.

Brittany: I’m not

Brittany: Also idk what you're on but Alvin will be doing nothing but begging me for mercy

Simon: Yeah, I know that. Just saying Alvin will most likely say the opposite.

Alvin: Why don't you go join the others in their cupcake discussion?

Simon: First of all, I ALWAYS know what I'm talking about. SECOND, I won't because I caused this and it doesn't seem fair to join after that.

Brittany: Time's up

2:36 pm

Simon:  It's been more than a minute.

Simon: You're sitting on our lawn on your phone.

Simon: I was right, huh? All trash talk.

Chapter Text

Saturday, October 1st 2:53 pm

Eleanor: Very suspicious that this group chat suddenly became quiet after Brittany made a threat

Theodore: What do you think happened??

Eleanor: Brittany usually carries out her promises

Jeanette: True..

Brittany: It's okay, Alvin just learned a lesson

Theodore: What did you do???

Jeanette: Brittany, what did you do?

Alvin: Brittany, I am very sorry that I called you a tiny brat

Alvin: You are in fact not a tiny brat

Jeanette: ???

Brittany: You're forgetting the rest

Jeanette: Oh my god he's apologizing!!

Alvin: Do I seriously have to say it?

Theodore: ALVIN BLINK TWICE IF YOU NEED HELP

Brittany: You're not getting it back until you say it

Eleanor: Huh?

Theodore: IS THIS A HOSTAGE SITUATION???

Eleanor: He's being held at gunpoint

Theodore: OH MY GOD

Theodore: ALVIN DID YOU BLINK TWICE??

Alvin: Fine

Theodore: I CANT TELL FROM HERE

Jeanette: Theodore, let him speak..

Alvin: Brittany is not a tiny brat and is in fact a beautiful goddess whom I worship

Alvin: Now give it back

Jeanette: !?!?!?!?

Theodore: Brittany's a GODDESS????

Brittany: There you go

Brittany: Was that so hard?

Theodore: Jeanette! Didn't you study mythology, why didn't you tell me your sister is a goddess???

Alvin: SHE MADE ME SAY IT

Jeanette: Yes, Alvin but you still said it…..

Alvin: Technically yes but only because I wanted my hat back

Theodore: So it WAS a hostage situation??

Alvin: Speaking of my hat WHERE IS IT

Theodore: On your head?

Jeanette: Theo...

Theodore: I mean one time Simon was looking for his glasses and those were on this head!

Brittany: In the garbage

Jeanette: Simon was sleep deprived.

Brittany: You might have to go dumpster diving to look for it oops

Alvin: I hate you

Eleanor: So now we know how to get Alvin to do what we want I guess

Theodore: Steal his hat and throw it away??

Eleanor: Apparently

Theodore: That's now very nice! :(

Theodore: Maybe, if we just ask "please" instead?

Alvin: What about Brittany says nice

Alvin: ARE YOU KIDDING ME IT HAS GUNK ALL OVER IT

Jeanette: I have to say Brittany, it really is unfair that you threw his hat in the bin after all of that..

Alvin: MY HAAAAAAAT

Jeanette: You wouldn't like that if he did it to something you loved.

Brittany: I think it was completely justified

Jeanette: I don't want to be mean or anything but I don't think it was justified...

Theodore: Poor Alvin! :((

Alvin: Jeanette you are a GENIUS

Alvin: You're gonna pay, Britt

Jeanette: Huh?

Brittany: As if I'll let you get close to ANY of my valuables

Alvin: I have my ways

Alvin: But first I'm going to have to power wash my poor hat

Simon: The thing is, Brittany has multiple valuables but Alvin simply has his beloved hat and a few other things.

Jeanette: Oh my god Simon where did you come from??

Simon: I have decided I have enough nerve to show my face around here after what I caused, and I just woke up.

Alvin: He didn't even defend me

Jeanette: aksajasjs okay but did you have breakfast and coffee?

Simon: Yes.

Alvin: He just said, "I'm out" and left

Simon: Yeah, no, I took a nap.

Alvin: I was alone, scared, HOPELESS!

Simon: You kept running your mouth about how Brittany wouldn't be able to "start with" you.

Alvin: Vulnerable to the theiving hands of Brittany Miller

Simon: So you were scared before she even started? Trash talk...

Jeanette: Guys, I think poor Alvin has suffered enough.

Alvin: We're supposed to fight for each other Simon

Simon: You and I? Or Brittany and you?

Brittany: You're such a baby omg

Simon: Not to do this again, but that's rich coming from you.

Alvin: Oh fskcjksdfjksdofisdf

Eleanor: ?????/

Theodore: OH MY GOD GUYS IS ALVIN PK??

Theodore: MAYBE HIS SECRET MIDDLE NAME IS "BRITTANY"!!!

3:15 pm

Eleanor: Did anyone else hear that?

Simon: He's screaming.

Simon: Very. Loudly.

Alvin: Shit shit shit DON'T TELL DAVE

Eleanor: That's not a good start

Theodore: Okay, Alvin "Brittany" Seville! ;)

Simon: Theodore oh my god that's not his middle name.

Brittany: Theodore you're going to make me throw up

Theodore: But he did the same thing all girls named Brittany do!!

Theodore: Apparently even creatures and lizards! 

Simon: Lord help me.

Alvin: Hey Simon, do you still have that super glue gun that could put literally anything back together?

Simon: My answer depends on why you're asking.

Alvin: So funny story

Alvin: I was washing my hat

Simon: Yeah?...

Alvin: Because SOMEONE threw it in the trash

Brittany: :)

Simon: Go on..

Alvin: And I accidentally put the hose on full pressure mode

Alvin: And well hehe

Simon: Of course he decided to wash it with the hose.

Simon: Alvin spit it out.

Alvin: You know the vase Dave got from Jamaica? The one he was really excited about even though it's the tackiest thing ever?

Simon: It's not tacky Alvin, but YES, unfortunately, I do know of that vase.

Alvin: Yeah so the water

Simon: Uh huh?

Alvin: It came out SUUUUPER fast like WOOSH you know?

Simon: Yes Alvin, I am aware of the sound high pressured water makes.

Alvin: And I didn't have time to react because it just came out of nowhere!

Alvin: So it broke

Alvin: It pushed it over the windowsill

Alvin: The fucking WATER

Brittany: It hurts to not laugh

Theodore: Uh oh, it says "Simon Seville is typing..." that's never a good sign...

Eleanor: That sounds like a chipmunk problem

Jeanette: Yeah……

Chapter Text

Saturday, October 1st 3:19 pm

Simon: You broke.

Simon: The fucking vase.

Simon: WITH WATER?

Simon: WERE YOU WASHING YOUR HAT WITH A HOSE, INSIDE????

Alvin: I’m telling you that shit was STRONG

Simon: YES, ALVIN, BECAUSE YOU SET IT TO HIGH PRESSURE!!!

Simon: FOR A DIRTY HAT!

Alvin: No Simon, who do you take me for a moron!?

Simon: YES I DO TAKE YOU FOR A MORON.

Alvin: I was outside 

Alvin: The front door was just open

Simon: You were what?

Simon: Oh my god.

Simon: Oh my god, he's done it.

Simon: He's pushed the limits of dumbass known to man.

Simon: It's a scientific marvel.

Eleanor: So you tried washing your hat with a hose

Eleanor: Set the water to max pressure

Alvin: ON ACCIDENT

Eleanor: Left the door open

Eleanor: And the water managed to knock over the vase?

Alvin: ……yes

Simon: Oh my god does that mean the inside of the house is wet as well?

Alvin: ANYWAYS Simon do you have the glue gun or not

Simon: ALVIN, WHY COULDN'T YOU HAVE WASHED IT IN THE FUCKING SINK???

Simon: IT'S A HAT.

Alvin: I WANTED TO MAKE SURE IT WAS CLEAN

Brittany: I can't breathe

Brittany: I’m 

Simon: Well then don't.

Simon: This would never have happened had it not been for how petty you are.

Brittany: That's what makes it even better

Simon: Yeah, to you.

Simon: You have a lot of nerve.

Simon: ANYWAY, THANK YOU FOR RUINING MY DAY. AND YES, I DO HAVE THE GLUE GUN.

Alvin: You know what, Simon makes a great point

Alvin: Technically this isn't even my fault, it's Brittany's!

Brittany: The fuck it is!

Simon: That's sorta true, I mean, Alvin was bound to fuck it up at some point.

Brittany: Your stupidity has nothing to do with me

Simon: Well then your pettiness has nothing to do with us. That's all on you.

Brittany: Whatever

Simon: Anyway, Alvin, I do have the glue gun.

Alvin: Thank god

Brittany: Have fun explaining to Dave that it's my fault you decided to wash your hat with a hose

Simon: I’m sure we will, Brittany, now please leave us alone.

Simon: Unless you want to explain with us.

Brittany: Nah this is your problem

Alvin: I won't have to explain it to him because I'm going to fix the vase thank you very much

Simon: Yep. AND clean up whatever else of a mess there is.

Alvin: Right right yada yada

Simon: Ughh, okay Alvin where are you right now?

Alvin: At the bottom of the stairs

Simon: Alright, I'm coming.

3:29 pm

Jeanette: Okay guys... I think the storm has finally passed... We can come back online now..

Theodore: Phew, it's finally safe!

Brittany: The storm?

Alvin: Fixed it!

Theodore: Really? Phew!

Alvin: Yup

Alvin: Dave won't suspect a thing

Simon: Let's hope not.

Simon: Otherwise, we'd be in a LOT of trouble.

Alvin: I know

Simon: You KNOW how much he loves that vase!

Alvin: YES I KNOW

Simon: Good! Because you've got to be careful with these kinds of things!!

Alvin: Okay Simon I think I've had enough of you're lecturing

Theodore: It's okay Simon, I'm sure Alvin's learned his lesson!

Alvin: THANK you, Theodore

Theodore: No problem, Alvin!

Theodore: So, how are you gonna get Brittany back for this?

Simon: THEODORE!

Alvin: I’ll find a way

Brittany: He won't

Simon: WHY'D YOU REMIND HIM! arghh

Alvin: Oh don't worry Simon I never forgot

Brittany: You can try

Brittany: But you won't do shit

Simon: That's what he said before you well apeshit on him.

Simon: The dramatic irony is thrilling.

Brittany: Because I actually go through with my promises

Brittany: Alvin doesn't

Alvin: Since when?

Simon: He's just as if not more hard-headed as you, I'd be careful...

Eleanor: These two literally don't stop do they

Jeanette: They really don't.

Jeanette: Don't you guys see you're just starting an awful cycle?

Jeanette: Alvin says something mean, Brittany gets him back, Alvin gets Brittany back, then Brittany gets Alvin back again and it goes on!

Brittany: I’ll stop when Alvin is no longer an asshole

Jeanette: Brittany! :(

Jeanette: That doesn't make sense, you never stop thinking of him as that!

Alvin: Oh yeah okay I'M the asshole

Brittany: You are!

Alvin: Am not

Brittany: Are too!

Alvin: Am not!

Simon: This is so childish.

Theodore: It's okay guys! You can BOTH be assholes!

Simon: LOOK WHAT YOU TAUGHT THEODORE

Eleanor: If Alvin wasn't the admin of this chat I would have you both removed

Simon: I second that.

Alvin: Great idea Eleanor

Jeanette: Oh no.

Alvin removed Brittany from the chat

Eleanor: Alvin no

Simon: He's done it again.

Simon: He's enabled the cycle.

Eleanor: Put her back in

Eleanor: Or I'm leaving

Alvin: Not until she apologizes

Alvin: And calls me a god

Jeanette: Oh my god, she's screaming again.

Jeanette: Alvin, this isn't a fair way to handle an argument.

3:43 pm

*Sister Squad*

Brittany: TELL HIM TO LET ME BACK IN NOW 

Jeanette: We're trying, I promise! 

Eleanor: That's literally what we're doing right now

Brittany: I swear to god

Brittany: Next I'm throwing his soccer trophy into the trash

Jeanette: I think you mean, "swear to ALVIN" ....

Jeanette: He wants you to apologize and call him a god....

Brittany: Uh-uh

Brittany: I don't give in easy like he does

Jeanette: Well, I mean, to be fair, he didn't really give in easy....

Brittany: All you have to do is take his pride and he'll do anything

Eleanor: Yes we have established that

Jeanette: Brittany, I don't think he's gonna budge

Brittany: He will

The Slick Six ;)

Simon: Alvin, just let her back in.

Eleanor: I’m not playing this game

Eleanor: Alvin, please

Eleanor: I’m over this

Eleanor: We're ALL over this

Simon: Precisely!

Simon: Alvin, if you really want to be better than Brittany, show her you can be the bigger person.

Alvin: I am the bigger person

Alvin: I’m taller than Brittany AND stronger than her

Eleanor: Which is why she stole your hat so easy

Simon: No Alvin, I mean figuratively.

Simon: Show her that she's the "childish" one by doing the opposite of what she did.

Eleanor: If you don't add her back we're all going to leave and create a group chat without you

Theodore: Wait, we are??

Alvin: Theodore would never

Alvin: Brittany's gotta pay up

Alvin: The fate of this group rests on her shoulders

Eleanor: ......

Eleanor: Group chat without Alvin it is then

Simon: Oh?

Simon: So…it's all up to her now?

Alvin: Exactly

Simon: Not you anymore?

Simon: Almost as if SHE'S the one calling the shots here...

Alvin: Yup

Simon: So, Brittany has more of a say over this than you do, huh?

Alvin: ????

Alvin: No?

Simon: Damn, I never knew Alvin would let Brittany be in charge.

Alvin: WHAT?

Alvin: No she's not

Simon: Well, that's what you're doing.

Alvin: I kicked her out bc I'M in charge

Simon: Then how is it that it's all up to her whether or not she's back in?

Alvin: Because

Alvin: Well

*Sister Squad*

Eleanor: Hold on Simon's getting to him

Jeanette: He's using reverse psychology I think

Eleanor: He really knows how to push his buttons

Jeanette: He really does

The Slick Six ;)

Alvin: Okay then FINE she won't be coming back ever

Eleanor: That's bullshit

Alvin: Oh really?

Simon: Absolutely.

*Sister Squad*

Jeanette: Nevermind, I think it backfired! :(

Eleanor: He'll crack eventually

Brittany: Ugh

Brittany: He better

Brittany: Or else trophy goes bye-bye

The Slick Six ;)

Alvin: Try me

Simon:Goodness gracious Alvin. You really traded your chivalrous behavior to use a petty strategy to save your pride, huh? Makes me wonder who you're trying to impress...

Alvin: I don't know what half of those words are

Simon: You certainly can't be trying to impress yourself, since you're SO comfortable with yourself, right?

Alvin: What?

Simon: You ARE confident in yourself, aren't you Alvin?

Alvin: Yeah

Alvin: What are you trying to even say?

Simon: So why is it that you feel such need to protect your pride?

Simon: Doesn't being truly confident mean you don't need to prove anything to anyone else?

Simon: And yet, here you are, trying to prove to us that YOU have more of a say over Brittany.

*Sister Squad*

Eleanor: I have faith in Simon

Eleanor: I'm just going to let him handle the rest here

Jeanette: He really is grilling him

Eleanor: It's quite entertaining

Brittany: And I'm missing ALL OF IT?

Jeanette: Yup!

Eleanor: I'll show it to you later don't worry

The Slick Six ;)

Alvin: I didn't sign up for a therapy session

Alvin: Did that once, hated it

Simon: Alright, Mr. Confident, then simply let her back in.

Alvin: What is that gonna prove?

Simon: That you don't care about anyone else's approval and that you're more mature than Brittany.

Simon: I mean, she told you to call her a "goddess", how immature!

Alvin: Well of course I am

Alvin: I don't have to prove shit

Simon: And the way she STILL threw your hat out, how petty of her!

Alvin: Yes and?

Alvin: I’m not letting her back in

Simon: Interesting...

*Sister Squad*

Jeanette: Nevermind Brittany, you might not want to see the rest

Brittany: Why not?

Jeanette: Well...part of the reverse psychology means Simon trying to appeal to Alvin by insulting, well, you...

Brittany: Without me to defend myself? Wow

Brittany: They're all the same I s2g

Brittany: Well, Theodore gets a pass

Jeanette: He's only pretending!

Eleanor: Not that he's wrong though

Jeanette: Yeah, he probably does believe in what he's saying...

Brittany: Not wrong in what, Eleanor!?

Eleanor: Nothing, Britt

Eleanor: Nothing

Brittany: Nothing my ass

The Slick Six ;)

Theodore: Is this a bad time to ask if we can get McDonald's for dinner?

Simon: No, not at all Theodore.

Simon: But, this is a bad group chat to be talking about that in.

Alvin: I think kicking her out of a group chat is WAY nicer than throwing my hat in the garbage

Simon: True.

Theodore: Wait, which group chat should we talk about dinner in?

Simon: Let's go talk in the group chat that doesn't have Alvin in it. :)

*Sister Squad*

Jeanette: Simon used a smiley face, it's not so smiley as it is eerily creepy... guys what now

The Slick Six ;)

Alvin: What

Alvin: You guys ACTUALLY did that?

Eleanor: Yup

Alvin: Fine, enjoy your group chat without me

Simon: We also, happen to stick to our promises, Alvin.

Alvin: You'll be begging to come back here

Theodore: Wait, what??

Theodore: But how will we know what Alvin wants for dinner??

Alvin: See?

Eleanor: Let him fend for himself he's a big boy

*Sister Squad*

Jeanette: I don't think Theo wants to leave Alvin alone.

The Slick Six ;)

Theodore: Are you sure?

Theodore: I mean, he's only a tiny bit taller than me..

Simon: CAN WE HURRY THIS UP????

Eleanor: Seriously, just let Brittany back in

Eleanor: Stop being a baby

Alvin: I am FOUR INCHES TALLER THAN YOU thank you very much

Theodore: Yeah, but if you turn that four inches into four centimetres, than it won't be so much more of a difference anymore..

Simon: Theodore, you can't just translate the imperial and metric system like that.

Alvin: Theodore that is not how measurements work

Alvin: And no I will not let her in

Simon: Alvin, we'll leave you here with Theodore if you don't let her back in.

Alvin: Then do it! Theodore is way nicer to me anyway

Simon: Actually, I might just start a groupchat with Jeanette and leave all of you.

Alvin: Maybe you two will finally tell each other how you feel then

Simon: Fuck you.

Alvin: Right back at ya ;)

Theodore: Well, I guess it's just you and me now Alvin! :)

Theodore: So, I have some very important questions for you!

Theodore: Don't worry, they're not about Brittany or math!

Theodore: 1) If you take care of a chicken, does that make you a chicken tender?

Alvin: OKAY FINE I'LL LET HER BACK IN

*Sister Squad*

Jeanette: THEODORE'S DONE IT

Jeanette: ALVIN WANTS TO LET YOU BACK IN

Eleanor: I can't believe that's what it took

Brittany: Finally!

The Slick Six ;)

Theodore: Awhhh, I didn't even get to ask the second one!!!

Theodore: Or the third!! :(((

Eleanor: It's okay Theodore, you can ask me

Theodore: Really?? :D

Eleanor: Anytime :)

Theodore: Should I ask you here or in a private message?

Alvin added Brittany to the chat 

Brittany: The queen is back

Eleanor: Anywhere Theodore

Theodore: Maybe here, so everyone else can let me know what they think too!

Alvin: No please god no just dm her

Brittany: What did I miss?

Theodore: Okay! So, how come we have finger tips, but not toe tips, yet we can tip toe, but not tip finger?

Simon: I was going to say Theodore was our savior but never mind.

Eleanor: Hmmm, never thought of that one

Eleanor: Languages are weird man

Theodore: Right!!

Theodore: Languages are sooo weird!!

Brittany: Okay maybe adding me back in was a bad idea

Simon: I can't believe all of this was for fucking nothing.

Alvin: Want me to remove you again? Cause I can do that

Brittany: I fucking dare you Seville

Simon: OKAY, STOP.

Simon: NOT THIS BULLSHIT AGAIN.

Eleanor: Theodore, I want to hear more

Theodore: Really???

Eleanor: Yeah! Since Alvin and Brittany won't stop fighting I need a good distraction

Alvin: NO STOP ENCOURAGING HIM

Theodore: What about you, Jeanette? You haven't really said much :)

Jeanette: Uh, yeah, sure, why not! :)

Alvin: Okay okay, we'll stop

Alvin: Just please end the questions!

Simon: It's almost as if he knows completely what he's doing, it's scary.

Theodore: Oh :(

Theodore: Okay, then! :)

Alvin: Thank god

Simon: I cannot believe Theodore has so much power.

Simon: It's amazing.

Eleanor: Don't underestimate him

Theodore: Yeah, don't understimat me!

Jeanette: Uh... Theo, you spelt that wrong...

Alvin: You don't even know what they're talking about

Theodore: Of course I do!

Alvin: Then say it

Theodore: They're obviously talking about

Theodore: not giving me food on Wednesdays!

Theodore: Yeah, yeah..

Theodore: Don't understimat me!! I need my nutrients!!

Simon: I’m speechless.

Chapter Text

Saturday, October 1st 4:13 pm

Alvin: That's what I thought

Jeanette: Well, I guess we really shouldn't underestimate him then.

Simon: I didn't know anyone was capable of being so oblivious, but here we are.

Theodore: Is that a good thing?

Jeanette: Well, yeah in a way.. Simon's basically saying he's never seen anyone be able to do what you do, Theodore.

Theodore: Awhh, thanks Simon!!!😊

Eleanor: It's what makes you special😊

Simon: Yup!

Alvin: 🤮

Brittany: Ew I hate that emoji

Alvin: Too fucking bad

Simon: Looks like all this sweetness is giving Alvin cavities.

Alvin: Damn right it is

Eleanor: They can’t go more than five minutes can they?

Jeanette: They really can't. It's quite depressing.

Brittany: It's a gross emoji

Brittany: There's literal vomit coming out of its mouth

Brittany: That's gross

Theodore: Maybe it just ate something bad?

Eleanor: sigh

Theodore: I mean, it's an important emoji!

Alvin: Yeah that's why I used it

Alvin: Because I'm throwing up right now

Theodore: We need it to express when our human brains think something is gross/unpleasant or when we've eaten something bad and our organs are throwing it back up.

Jeanette: Wait why are you talking like Simon?

Theodore:😱😱

Alvin: Was about to say

Theodore: ALVIN!!! Did something we said gross you out??

Alvin: Yes

Theodore: What was it???

Simon: Alvin... watch your next words.

Alvin: You and Eleanor were flirting

Simon: What? No they weren't?

Eleanor: I called him special

Eleanor: How is that flirting

Simon: Yeah, and I agreed with her.

Simon: So did Jeanette.

Alvin: OH COME ON TELL ME THAT'S NOT FLIRTING

Eleanor: You're just not used to compliments bc you don't use them

Simon: Ooh, she's got you there...

Eleanor: Your way of flirting is through insults and fighting

Simon: Yup!

Eleanor: cough cough

Simon: AND he takes every compliment from a girl as flirting due to his gigantic ego.

Alvin: Uh I'll have you know I am an excellent flirt

Alvin: I get all the ladies

Simon: You can get dates, but you can never keep them.

Simon: Sometimes you can't even get them.

Brittany: Alvin flirts by complimenting himself who are we kidding here

Simon: No, she's got a point too.

Alvin: Shhhh Simon!

Brittany: “Hey babe wanna date this super hot guy that's me? You know me the super cool hot guy? Did I mention I was super hot?"

Jeanette: akjasasjsj sorry alvin but that IS how you talk...

Alvin: That sounds nothing like me

Simon: It sounds exactly like you.

Theodore: Yeah, I almost thought it was YOU who typed that out!😂

Alvin: You guys are just agreeing with her bc you're all mad that I kicked her out

Eleanor: Or maybe Brittany's impression was kinda accurate🤷‍♀️

Alvin: It was not

Simon: Eleanor's right.

Simon: To be honest, I couldn't care less. You're both equally as annoying

Brittany: I know you better than you know yourself

Jeanette: Um Britt, that's something couples say....

Simon: Oh, interesting.

Brittany: What? No it isn't

Jeanette: When it's not couples, it's best friends.

Alvin: Brittany knows nothing about me

Alvin: And we are NOT best friends

Alvin: Barely even friends at this point

Brittany: Wow thanks

Simon: Theodore literally almost thought you sent that message.

Jeanette: WELL, I forgot to say one thing.

Jeanette: Often, rivals and enemies and even family members say that, so....

Simon: Well yeah, Alvin and Brittany don't have to be friendly with each other to know lots of things about each other, so that's true.

Eleanor: Oh come on

Eleanor: In like 2 days you'll both be watching Law in Order with each other again

Simon: She's right.

Brittany: And? We just happen to both like the show

Brittany: Alvin likes seeing the murders and I like the court scenes we all know this

Simon: Alvin likes seeing the what now

Theodore: Well, then

Alvin: The blood and guts hell yeah

Theodore: why do you guys keep taking all my popcorn and watching it together?? :(

Eleanor: Criminal Minds is way better if you ask me

Jeanette: Now I'm concerned.

Alvin: It's not YOUR popcorn Theodore

Theodore: But I made it! :((

Theodore: You told me you were going to BORROW it!!

Simon: And you believed him?

Eleanor: Theodore

Eleanor: People don't borrow food

Eleanor: You can't give food back

Jeanette: yeah, how how do you borrow food?

Alvin: Listen that's on him

Theodore: Oh

Theodore: :(

Brittany: You mean to tell me you just take popcorn from Theodore?

Brittany: You don't even make it yourself?

Simon: Now you made him fucking sad.

Alvin: Oh come on Theo there is more popcorn to go around

Theodore: I guess so...

Brittany: We have officially reached a peak laziness

Simon: Well, Brittany, it's not like you made it.

Simon: You didn't even bother to ask where he got it from!

Brittany: He offers!

Simon: Fair enough, but this is ALVIN, remember!

Brittany: Am I not allowed to ASSUME he can make his own?

Simon: You should know enough about him now to know it's better to ask!

Simon: DO YOU THINK DAVE LETS HIM NEAR THE MICROWAVE??

Jeanette: Wait, why not?

Simon: Basically, a while back, he decided to microwave a gummy pizza, in hopes it would expand, and the microwave blew up.

Brittany: What the fuck is a gummy pizza

Theodore: This! 

Alvin: Oh Brittany you have so much to learn

Theodore: Yeah! Who doesn’t know what a gummy pizza is?

Brittany: Sorry I asked

Alvin: Anyways I found out what happens

Alvin: But I once made a Hot Pocket and everything turned out just fine

Simon: ONCE

Alvin: That's more than zero

Simon: Yeah, but it still took you 3 burned Hot Pockets to make it.

Alvin: SO?

Brittany: You eat Hot Pockets? Seriously?

Jeanette: My goodness.

Theodore: Wait, what's wrong with Hot Pockets??

Eleanor: Alvin what are you going to do when you have to cook for yourself to survive

Alvin: Obviously I'll have my hot wife do it for me

Brittany: Um

Eleanor: Alvin you may wanna take that back

Alvin: What?

Jeanette: No, Eleanor's right.

Alvin: There's nothing wrong with that!

Simon: So, you just assume a woman will cook for you?

Alvin: NO 

Alvin: I’m not saying all women belong in the kitchen

Simon: You assume that YOU will marry a woman who knows how to cook???

Alvin: Yes

Simon: No offense, but it seems your type is usually what they call "air heads".

Alvin: What?

Simon: That means "pretty girls who don’t know shit"

Jeanette: I mean, he's not exactly wrong.

Jeanette: Like referring to the data..

Alvin: My type is cute beach blonde babes

Simon: I know.

Brittany: Way our of your league

Alvin: Then why did Jessica go out with me?

Alvin: Huh?

Brittany: Because she wanted to post a cute picture with a chipmunk to get more likes

Brittany: I overheard her talking about it in the bathroom

Alvin: You're lying

Alvin: We had a great time

Alvin: Have you even seen the picture? She's so in love with me it's obvious

Brittany: Okay whatever you say

Jeanette: Alright... Simon, Ellie, Theo and I might just leave this conversation and leave this for you two to sort out...

Alvin: No!

Jeanette: Unless you two are done?

Alvin: Simon, defend my honor

Simon: Ugh, do I have to?

Alvin: Yes!

Simon: Well, I'm not sure there's much to defend, but

Simon: To be fair, IF that is true, that DOES mean that Alvin is famous, cool, cute and charming enough that a girl would want to take a picture for him for likes.

Simon: Basically, she's like a fan.

Simon: You could even say she loves you so much she wanted to go on a date with you.

Brittany: See, it's not even that

Brittany: She sees you as more of a prop

*Sister Squad*

4:47 pm

Jeanette: Brittany!

Jeanette: Please, you're going to hurt his feelings!

Brittany: I’m trying to tell him the truth

Brittany: You think he's not gonna find out eventually?

Brittany: Even Jessica might say it to his face!

Jeanette: But this is such a cruel way to tell him!!!

Brittany: That would be way more humiliating if you ask me

Eleanor: Hm

Eleanor: The problem is that he doesn't believe you

The Slick Six ;)

Alvin: It's not working Britt

Alvin: You can quit it now

Simon: Yeah, as if no one's done that to you, Brittany.

Simon: Wait a minute

Simon: Why was Brittany eavesdropping in the first place?

Simon: About a date Alvin had with another girl?

Brittany: Excuse me?

Theodore: Maybe Brittany was jealous?

Brittany: I land all the guys I've dated because they thought I was pretty

Brittany: JEALOUS?

Brittany: HAHA OKAY

Simon: Yeah, well you were never in the boys bathroom to eavesdrop on the guys you dated, huh?

Simon: So how would you know?

Eleanor: Brittany eavesdrops on everyone

Simon: In the BOYS' bathroom??? I doubt that.

Simon: If she does, then we're going to need to have a serious conversation though.

Eleanor: No, but she was probably just listening to Jessica because she could

Brittany: I do eavesdrop on guys' conversations but I usually end up regretting it

Simon: Fair enough, but I'd much rather she not try to mess up my brother's dating life.

Brittany: All you boys talk about is farts and sex

Simon: Not true.

Alvin: Thank you Simon

Simon: Theodore and I don't. Maybe some guys, though.

Brittany: You don't know what I've heard

Simon: I do.

Simon: I’ve had to be IN those conversations. You only overheard.

Jeanette: Uhh, alright guys.

Jeanette: How about we talk about something else? Hey, Theo, what was your third question?

Alvin: Jeanette I swear to god

Jeanette: Well, you and Brittany need to stop, or we're all going to have a LONG conversation with Theodore.

Alvin: She started it!

Jeanette: SO END IT!

Simon: I’m proud of you for standing your ground, but the last thing I want to hear is another one of Theo's questions.

Jeanette: Thank you! and I agree but there's no other solution

Brittany: Fine just fucking stop!!!!

Theodore: Oh, okay.

Jeanette: You made the right choice.

Eleanor: Can we please stop using Theodore as a punishment? 

Alvin: It’s not him, it’s his QUESTIONS 

Eleanor: Same thing

Jeanette: Oh no, I didn’t even think of that! Sorry Theodore!! :(

Theodore: It’s okay, Jeanette!

Jeanette: But, I actually think your questions are interesting, Theodore.

Simon: Yeah, they are unique. Kinda fascinating how you come up with them.

Theodore: Awhh!! Thank you guys!!😊

Theodore: But I guess they're too difficult for you guys to answer🤷

Eleanor: I always love hearing from you😊

Alvin: GET A ROOM

Simon: Hey Alvin, fuck off.

Alvin: No

Simon:😊

Brittany: God let them be

Brittany: They're cute

Alvin: My chat my rules

Simon: Why did we let him make the chat?

Eleanor: I ask myself this all the time

Jeanette: Alvin's just jealous

Alvin: Of Theodore?

Jeanette: No, that Theodore can keep a happy and healthy friendship with someone and exchange and receive compliments in an adorable manner.

Simon: She's got you there.

Alvin: What?

Alvin: I have lots of friends who love me

Jeanette: Yeah, I guess so.

Jeanette: But maybe, it's the way that Theodore is so comfortable being nice to them openly.

Alvin: I can be nice!

Brittany: Haha okay Alvin be nice then

Simon: Ooh, that's a hard one... good luck, Alvin.

Alvin: You are objectively pretty

Alvin: Is that nice enough?

Brittany: I guess

Eleanor: Wow okay

Jeanette: No, actually, that IS nice, Alvin.

Alvin: There you have it

Simon: Yeah... good job I guess? It was a compliment.

Brittany: Whatever

Jeanette: But also girls aren't just for romance, you can be friends with them too.

Eleanor: Period

Simon: Jeanette please become a therapist.

Simon: Please become MY therapist.

Alvin: Ooh, so you're into the doctors huh Simon?

Theodore: Isn't she already like a therapist for us?

Simon: (I wouldn't say that, Theo. We don't want to put pressure on our friends.)

Brittany: Whatever

*Sister Squad*

5:05 pm

Brittany: No way he meant that

Brittany: The way he said it with no hesitation? He's lying through his teeth

Jeanette: Maybe?

Eleanor: Or maybe he actually thinks you're pretty🤷‍♀️

Brittany: Uh uh

Jeanette: He said he doesn't personally think you're pretty, but he does think most would find you pretty. Maybe he lied on the personal part, but it wasn't an insult.

Brittany: Hm

Brittany: I guess he does know an attractive woman when he sees one

Brittany: I’ll give him that

Eleanor: If that's how you wanna interpret it

Jeanette:Yeah, you're right about that I guess/

Da Bros >:)

5:06 pm

Simon: Don't you ask me another question about Jeanette, you smug asshole.

Alvin:😏

Simon: I hate you.

Alvin: That's my job, Si

Simon: Don't, or I'll bring up what you said about Brittany.

Simon: And then twist it into a romantic thing, just like you do with what I say regarding Jeanette.

Alvin: WHAT?

Alvin: No no Simon look

Alvin: You actually like Jeanette

Alvin: So it's not a stretch when I say it

Simon: No I fucking don’t

Alvin: Seriously?

Alvin: Theodore back me up here

Simon: Making me uncomfortable is one thing but don't you dare make Jeanette uncomfortable.

Theodore: Uh I don’t know guys

Alvin: Okay fine

Alvin: I’ll tone it down just a little

Simon: Can you at least not embarrass poor Jeanette???

Simon: If you really have to, just say something stupid in here.

Alvin: Yes yes whatever

Chapter Text

The Slick Six ;)

5:10 pm

Brittany: Why did we stop talking? Hello?

Theodore: We're a bit busy, aha, sorry

Brittany: With what?

Alvin: Nunya

Brittany: I didn't ask you

Theodore: My brothers and I were just talking😅

Jeanette: That's okay, Theodore!

Jeanette: My sisters and I were talking for a little too!☺️

Theodore: Oh? What were you guys talking about?

Jeanette: Uh,, I forgot. 

Eleanor: Girl stuff

Jeanette: Yeah, girl stuff!

Theodore: Out of curiosity, what IS girl stuff?

Eleanor: We can't tell you silly!

Theodore: Why not? :(

Brittany: It's for girls only

Theodore: Oh

Jeanette: Somethings need to be said in private, Theodore, that's all😊

Theodore: Oh, yeah, that's true!

Alvin: They talk about boys and makeup and reality television

Alvin: Boring stuff

Eleanor: You are so incorrect it hurts

Theodore: I think they talk about blood, guts and violence

Theodore: Yknow, girl stuff!

Brittany: What?

Eleanor: Where did that come from Theo?

Simon: Take that as a compliment girls, it means he thinks highly of you.

Jeanette: I mean it's not a feminine stereotype...

Alvin: No Theodore that's what I talk about

Theodore: Well, one time Ashley and Sarah invited me to sit with them at lunch!

Theodore: That's what they talked about!

Brittany: Ashley and Sarah don't count

Eleanor: For real?

Simon: You mean the emo girls at school who think they're vampires?

Alvin: They invited YOU?

Theodore: Yeah!

Alvin: Are you like their next victim or something?

Brittany: Gross

Jeanette: No! They're nice girls!

Jeanette: Just a little different from us.

Brittany: They're nice girls with horrible fashion sense

Jeanette: According to Ashley, they invited Theodore because they think he's cute.

Alvin: What?

Alvin: I’m cute! Why haven't they asked me to sit with them?

Jeanette: Oh, um.. maybe they think Theodore's the other kind of cute?

Alvin: Ohhhhhh

Simon: I’m concerned. You didn't get scared with what they were talking about, right Theo?

Eleanor: Yeah I'm a little worried too

Theodore: No, not really, it was a little weird but they seemed so happy when they started talking about vampires and witches! I kinda just ate my sandwich🤷

Simon: Oh, that's good. But maybe you shouldn't sit with them next time, okay?

Brittany: Weirdos

Theodore: They're not that weird..

Jeanette: It's okay Theodore, Brittany thinks everyone is a weirdo.

Alvin: Next time ask them what blood tastes like because I'm curious

Brittany: Ew Alvin please stop

Eleanor: It tastes like iron

Eleanor: Because it's blood

Alvin: Oh right

Theodore: Maybe they weren't having jam sandwiches, maybe it was blood! *scared*

Simon: No Theodore, Eleanor's right. It tastes like iron.

Brittany: EW GROSS GROSS GROSS

Jeanette: Uhh, okay Theodore...

Alvin: sluuuuuurp MMMMMMM blood!

Alvin: Yummy yummy blood!

Brittany: I’m blocking you

Simon: He's so mature, no wonder all the girls love him.

Alvin: Yup😉

Jeanette: He's so intelligent too, the way he can't tell when Simon's using sarcasm.

Alvin: LMAO SHE ACTUALLY BLOCKED ME

Simon: DEADASS?

Alvin: RIGHT

Eleanor: Ofc she did

Brittany: I blocked him

Eleanor: We know

Jeanette: Eh, she blocks him every other week.

Brittany: Oh, did he tell you?

Eleanor: Yes he told us

Alvin: Huh who told who what

Simon: Yup, he's laughing his ass off.

Alvin: She'll unblock me in an hour

Simon: You're right there, Alvin.

Brittany: Alvin is?

Simon: Oh, nothing.

Brittany: So he thinks this is funny, then?

Simon: Not sure, but maybe.

Simon: Wait, let me ask

Alvin: Is she talking about me?

Simon: Hey Alvin, do you think it's funny that Brittany blocked you?

Alvin: I think it's fucking hilarious yes

Simon: She wants to know your answer, should I tell her?

Alvin: Go ahead

Eleanor: This is ridiculous

Eleanor: I’m not playing messenger

Simon: You don't need to, it seems I am.

Simon: Alright. Hey, Brittany.

Brittany: Go on, tell me

Simon: Alvin thinks it's "fucking hilarious".

Brittany: Ah

Simon: To be fair, I think it is too.

Alvin: HAH IN YOUR FACE

Brittany: Then he can kiss his trophy goodbye

Simon: Hey Alvin, Brittany's threatening to do something bad to your sports trophy.

Alvin: SHE'S WHAT

Brittany: Snitch

Simon:🤷‍♂️

Jeanette: Yeah, that's also what she said back when you kicked her out of the group.

Alvin: Well then

Alvin: Tell her I said never in a million years will she ever lay hands on my precious

Simon: Brittany, Alvin said: "never in a million years will she ever lay hands on my precious"

Theodore: Isn't that destruction of property? Maybe you can sue her?🤔

Brittany: Sue me?

Alvin: I should sue her for destroying my hat

Brittany: Try me

Theodore: Well, it IS a big part of your image so maybe you CAN sue her.

Eleanor: JUST UNBLOCK EACH OTHER AT THIS POINT

Theodore: Does that count as defamation?

Alvin: YES THEODORE YOU ARE SO SMART

Simon: THEODORE, PLEASE STOP.

Alvin: BYE BYE BRITTANY

Simon: Holy shit no

Brittany: Nobody is suing me

Jeanette: he said: "BYE BYE BRITTANY"

Brittany: WELL TELL HIM TO GO TO TELL THEN

Brittany: *HELL FUCK YOU AUTOCORRECT

Jeanette: Alvin, Brittany said:

Brittany:Seriously?

Alvin: HAHA

Alvin: Tell her I'm on my way to tell rn

Theodore: This reminds me of the day we first met! When Dave tried to sue the Chipettes for using the name "Chipmunk"!

Alvin: Theodore

Jeanette: Alvin said:

Brittany: Haha very funny

Brittany: Okay I'm tired of this

Alvin: Oop

Theodore: Why does Alvin need to talk to Brittany in-person to sue her?

Simon: Probably because he's talking shit and wants to start another fight.

Alvin: Hey Britt, sup?

Brittany: Shut up

Simon: ? Did she unblock you?

Eleanor: Finally

Jeanette: Thank goodness!

Simon: Hey guys

Alvin: Yes?

Simon: Do you ever think there will be a day when we can all have fun together without Alvin and Brittany being assholes? Do you think we could ever start a conversation without them?

Jeanette: Oh, good question..

Eleanor: !

Jeanette: I mean, I hope so.

Brittany: Idk, can we ever have a conversation without you boring everyone with some scientific lecture?

Brittany: Or using big words that make everyone else feel stupid?

Alvin: OOOOOOOOOH

Simon: No❤️

Brittany: Okay

Simon: Never😊

Theodore: Well, I still like talking to Jeanette and Eleanor, and I don't think I need Alvin to insult Brittany for it to happen..

Eleanor: Period Theo

Jeanette: Yeah, as annoying as their silly drama is, it is the slightest bit entertaining...

Alvin: Entertaining?

Simon: Don't let it get to your head.

Theodore: Period?

Simon: sigh I'll explain later, Theo.

Eleanor: It's okay

Simon: Another question,

Simon: Do you think it's my big words that make Brittany and Alvin feel stupid, or are they just stupid enough not to understand them?

Alvin: Woah woah

Brittany: Uncalled for

Simon: Yeah, well what you said about my lectures and words was uncalled for too.

Jeanette: Well, I understand Simon's "big" words.

Brittany: Yeah that's because you're a nerd, Jeanette

Simon: ahahhahahahha thats soooo funny now fuck off

Brittany: And my suffering should not be entertaining to anyone

Eleanor: I understand him just fine too

Theodore: Well, I don't always understand the words...

Brittany: Ugh whatever

Jeanette: That's okay Theodore <3

Brittany: Call me stupid that's fine

Brittany: It's not like I'm not used to it by now

Eleanor: Brittany stop

Brittany: No it's fine

Brittany: I’m just a dumb bimbo like he said

Simon: Jesus Christ.

Eleanor: That's literally not

Simon: First of all, you're not a bimbo.

Simon: Don't put words in my mouth.

Brittany: I know what you think of me, Simon

Simon: Sureee you do.

Simon: Look Brittany, I didn't mean to actually hurt you feelings but it's not like you don't insult me often

Alvin: Yeah, bimbos have to be hot anyway soooo

Brittany: I thought you were the one who said I was objectively pretty?

Alvin: Never said you were hot

Eleanor: Oh my GOD

Jeanette: Can you guys STOP.

Brittany: Whatever Simon I don't even care

Simon: Good. Don't even bother to play guilt trip with me, because I've got more cards to play.

Brittany: Pfft

Alvin: Yo Si chill out a bit

Jeanette: Brittany please, Simon doesn't tolerate sassiness if it's not from him..

Brittany: Then he should stop hanging around me

Simon: When did I start?

Theodore: Can't you guys just be friends??

Brittany: What?

Theodore: Jeanette what's going on??

Brittany: Well I thought we were but apparently not

Alvin: Ohhhh I think I know what's going on

Jeanette: Well, all of you guys were being super annoying

Jeanette: And you've stiffened Simon up

Simon: Yeah, I'm pissed

Brittany: Okay and? Doesn't give him the right to say we're not friends and that I'm stupid

Simon: Doesn't give you the right to say we should stop being friends and call me a nerd every time I get something right.

Simon: Not easy to be nice when you're pissed.

Alvin: Just give him a minute to cool down and he'll be fine

Alvin: Why don't you take a break Simon? Step outside and have some fresh air?

Brittany: When do I do that?

Simon: All the time!!

Eleanor: I can't believe Alvin of all people is being the reasonable one right now

Alvin:🙂

Simon: I try to talk to Jeanette about something "nerdy" because I'm interested in it and YOU, eavesdropping from the kitchen calls me a nerd.

Simon: But it's not that big of a deal, Alvin does it too.

Brittany: Listen you may be a nerd and whatever but you've always been a friend of mine

Brittany: And you're great for Jeanette so I can't hate you

Jeanette: wait what does that mean

Brittany: Nothing Jean

Simon: Then why'd you tell me I should stop hanging around you?

Brittany: I just don't like it when you talk down to me

Simon: I don't like it when you talk down to me either.

Brittany: Because Jeanette said you don't like sassiness!

Simon: Does anyone!?

Alvin: How about we all have some tea and sit down for a bit huh?

Theodore: That's usually what Jeanette says!😄

Eleanor: I’m getting a headache

Jeanette: Hey, how about Brittany and Simon go work this out themselves for a little, in real life?

Jeanette: Sometimes things get misinterpreted online.

Brittany: Absolutely not

Jeanette: Britt, it's just a misunderstanding

Brittany: What, that he thinks I'm stupid or something?

Eleanor: I hate the internet

*Sister Squad, 6:06 pm*

Jeanette: Brittany, I know Simon better than you do, okay? He's just hurt, he didn't mean to be mean to you :(

Brittany: Well then he should apologize if he didn't mean it!

Jeanette: What do you expect when people keep everything bottled up?

Eleanor: Give him time to cool off first

Jeanette: Did YOU mean what you said?

Brittany: Well, yeah honestly I did

Jeanette: The mean things?

Jeanette: Please leave him alone, he's hurting.

Brittany: Hurting from what?

Brittany: Being smart?

Jeanette: Wow.

Jeanette: Just stop. Please.

Eleanor: Maybe you should try understanding people a little better before you assume things

Eleanor: Like how people assume you're stupid

Jeanette: It's hard enough for him to make friends. It's hard enough for him to be openly happy about "nerdy" and "smart" things. The pressure of being the "smart friend" is hard enough.

Jeanette: You're forgetting that all these things apply to me too.

Jeanette: Just give him a minute, he'll say sorry quickly.

Brittany: Yeah but like

Brittany: You guys get good grades and all the adults LOVE you

Jeanette: Yeah but everyone makes fun of us and assumes we think we're better than everyone us, when in reality, our self-confidence is low enough.

Jeanette: It's hard enough having your older sibling call you a nerd, let alone the whole school and the public and media calling us the "nerdy ones”.

Brittany: Yeah and I'm always there to punch a bitch if she tries

Brittany: You know that

Da Bros >:), 6:07 pm

Alvin: Hey Si, just between us

Alvin: You okay?

Theodore: I don't think Simon wants to talk right now, Alvin...

Alvin: ?????

Theodore: I think he's offline :(

****************************************************************

Alvin was down in the kitchen texting away in the group chat as all of this was going on. He didn't mean for shit to go down like this at all, and now he had absolutely no idea what to do. Simon and Brittany out of nowhere started fighting, and suddenly he was feeling very conflicted. Both parties annoyed him daily, but both parties were also people he cared about. First thing was first though, he needed to check on his brother. 

Alvin climbed up the stairs to the bedroom and lightly knocked on the door. "Si?"

No response. No sound came out of the room.

Alvin sighed. Whenever Simon was upset, he completely shut down like this and didn’t talk to anyone. It always irritated the crap out of him because it made him feel useless. "I'm here if you wanna talk!" he shouted as a last resort, slouching as he trudged back down. Alvin stopped on the way one more time to see if his brother would actually give in for once, but there was still no sound that escaped the room.

Simon was alone. He was all alone. The blue Seville sat on the edge of his bed and reflected on the situation. Had he just lost another friend? Of course he had. He ridiculed himself, why couldn't he just have friends? Why was he so different? And why did that push everyone away? It was his fault. That was the only conclusion he could come up with. His fault he couldn't just be the same as the others, his fault he couldn't communicate how he wanted to, his fault he pushed others away when in distress. Soon, he would lose Dave, Alvin, Theodore and then Jeanette. What about Eleanor? Was she even his friend? Or just Theodore's friend? What did she think of him? His stomach churned and he lay flat on his bed. A nap. Only for a few minutes, that shouldn't be a problem, right?

So he did, Simon let himself fall asleep, surrounded by the comfort of his bed and pillows.

Chapter Text

The Slick Six ;), 6:15 pm

Alvin: Congratulations Britt

Alvin: You broke Simon

Jeanette: Has he shut down again?

Alvin: Yup

Jeanette: Oh..

Brittany: I didn't do anything

Brittany: The whole situation just blew up okay?

Alvin: So you're not gonna apologize?

Jeanette: Yeah, Brittany's not entirely to blame.

Eleanor: I think we just need to calm down

Jeanette: Simon just deals with this stuff differently than she does.

Theodore: Yeah, Ellie's right.

Eleanor: Simon doesn't need a hostile environment right now

Alvin: Okay okay

Alvin: I’m just worried about him

Jeanette: I’m worried too but for the meanwhile, let's do something else to distract ourselves.

Jeanette: To give Simon some time.

Jeanette: But not too much time, we can't leave him alone for long.

Eleanor: Let's play a game

Eleanor: Theo?

Theodore: Yay! A game!

Theodore: Which one should we play?

Alvin: Don't let Theo pick the game!

Eleanor: Why not?

Alvin: Because he always picks some dumb baby game

Theodore: No I don't!

Alvin: Okay then pick a game that isn't

Theodore: How are we even gonna play a game over a groupchat??

Theodore: It's not like we can play eye-spy or something like that!

Jeanette: The problem is we all have... different interests.

Jeanette: Eleanor, do you have any ideas?

Eleanor: I mean there's truth or dare

Eleanor: Can't really do dares though

Theodore: Hm, that's true..

Theodore: We can just play Truth or Truth! :D

Eleanor: Good idea!

Alvin: Oh come on! Dares are way more fun

Brittany: I’m down

Jeanette: Uh, okay, I guess I'll play too.

Theodore: Yay! Who's gonna start?

Jeanette: You can start if you want, Theodore!

Theodore: Hm, okay. Jeanette, Truth or Truth?

Jeanette: Truth, I guess.

Alvin: At least ask her a good question Theo

Theodore: Okay! Jeanette, what's your favorite flavor of ice cream?

Alvin: Of course

Jeanette: Ooh, probably strawberry!

Theodore: What's so wrong with asking about ice cream?

Theodore: Do you have a better question, Alvin?

Alvin: I have many better questions

Alvin: That aren't lame

Theodore: Okay, well it can be your turn now if you want

Alvin: Okay, Brittany truth or truth?

Brittany: No

Alvin: Oh come on

Alvin: Are you chicken?

Alvin:🐔

Brittany: I know you're going to try to pull some shit on me

Theodore: Awh, c'mon Brittany, give him the benefit of the doubt! Alvin won't say anything mean, will you Alvin?

Alvin: Of course not

Theodore: See! He said so!

Brittany: Fine

Eleanor: Let's see how this goes

Jeanette: Fingers crossed...

Alvin: What's your favorite thing about me?

Brittany: HAH

Brittany: You think there's ANYTHING that's my favorite?

Alvin: Oh come on there's gotta be something

Alvin: I’m irresistible

Brittany: As if

Eleanor: Just answer the question Britt

Jeanette: Yeah, just say something simple :)

Brittany: Literally nothing

Alvin: I’m waiting

Brittany: Oh my god

Jeanette: Think about it like this:

Jeanette: What's the thing you hate least about Alvin?

Brittany: We're really doing this

Brittany: Hm

Alvin: No that is NOT the question Jeanette!

Alvin: Don't twist my words!

Jeanette: Yeah, but how else is she going to answer??

Brittany: No no, I like hers better

Eleanor: At this point....

Jeanette: It's the same thing, but like, an easier to swallow pill!

Alvin: Fine

Brittany: Okay

Brittany: Your musical talent contributes to the group

Brittany: So I don't hate that

Alvin: Well of course it does that's obvious Britt

Theodore: See! That wasn't so hard, was it? :D

Brittany: I answered your damn question now shush

Alvin: That was such a cop out!

Brittany: It literally wasn't

Jeanette: You're not going to get anything better than that, Alvin, just take it.

Theodore: Okay, who's next?

Eleanor: I’ll go

Theodore: Okay, Eleanor!

Eleanor: Theo, truth or truth?

Theodore: Hmmm truth!

Alvin: This is ridiculous

Eleanor: What is the most fun recipe that you've tried?

Theodore: I’d have to say the triple cream hot fudge surprise sprinkle strawberry and red velvet cupcakes we experimented with last year! 

Eleanor: I remember that!

Brittany: I can smell the diabetes

Eleanor: Stfu

Eleanor: Excuse my language but god Britt pls

Theodore: Don't even worry about it you two! The cream was vegan! We made it almond milk! 

Theodore: So who's next?

Brittany: Hm okay

Brittany: I’ll go next

Brittany: Eleanor, truth or truth?

Eleanor: I think truth this time

Brittany: Okay

Brittany: FMK the Chipmunks

Eleanor: No I'm not doing that

Jeanette: Aaand there it is.

Brittany: YOU HAVE TO

Eleanor: Brittany, we don't do that with the boys around

Jeanette: That's private girl stuff!

Alvin: No go on I'm curious

Brittany: DO IT

Eleanor: Kill Alvin

Alvin: What? Why me?

Alvin: Am I not fuckable? Or husband material?

Brittany: You're not anything but worthless garbage now Eleanor who are you gonna fuck and who are you gonna marry

Jeanette: That's one approach...

Eleanor: Theodore is too innocent, so I'm going to marry him

Jeanette: Oh god

Eleanor: And you know the rest but I'm not saying it

Brittany: Good enough :)

Alvin: You'd rather fuck SIMON?

Alvin: SIMON?

Jeanette: Please don’t say it!

Jeanette: Guys I think I've got a stomach ache

Jeanette: I don't want to play anymore

Eleanor: NO MORE SEX TALK THIS IS GETTING AWKWARD

Jeanette: The worst part is he's not even here.

Brittany: I would rather have sex with a homeless man than with Alvin

Jeanette: Brittany stop!!!

Jeanette: You've made this awkward enough, no one wants to hear about your s*x life.

Alvin: Don't underestimate me Britt

Eleanor: OKAY THAT'S ENOUGH

Jeanette: Oh my god please please stop

Brittany: Okay okay I'm ending it

Brittany: Because I don't wanna hear how Alvin thinks he gets around either

Jeanette: Oh my god please. enough

Theodore: Uhh okay Jeanette, it's your turn

Alvin: You just don't wanna be wrong

Eleanor: Oh my god just DROP IT

Eleanor: Jeanette, go ahead

Jeanette: I guess I should ask Alvin, then?

Jeanette: Okay, Alvin. Truth or Truth?

Alvin: Truth I guess

Jeanette: Alright then!

Jeanette: I know you like lots of sports, but what's your favorite?

Alvin: Baseball hands down

Alvin: Close second is soccer though

Theodore: Wow! That was a quick question and answer!

Eleanor: Soccer's my second favorite too after swimming of course

Theodore: See guys, we can just be nice to each other and get to know each other more!

Alvin: Yeah, see Britt?

Brittany: Seriously?

Jeanette: See, we've all got so much in common! 

Jeanette: Aren't nice questions like these better than those personal ones? 

Brittany: Sure but they're boring and expected

Jeanette: Well it's much nicer than the one you asked, Brittany.

Brittany: Oh my god it wasn't even that bad

Eleanor: It was

Eleanor: The chipmunks are like brothers to me

Eleanor: I can't think of them in any other way

Brittany: Even Theodore?

Eleanor: That's enough

Theodore: Hey, it's okay guys, let's just move onto another question!

Eleanor: I agree

Theodore: Who wants to start this time?

Alvin: Theodore truth or truth?

Theodore: Truth!

Alvin: If you had to give up a snack for the rest of your life which would you pick

Brittany: Even Alvin is asking lame questions

Brittany: I’m bored

Theodore: It’s not a lame question!!

Theodore: It's a VERY hard one to answer

Brittany: Of course it is

Theodore: But I think I would have to say Takis... they have a cool color but sometimes they're too spicy! 

Jeanette: I agree Theodore, Takis are really spicy :(

Brittany: Those things are so disgusting

Brittany: Why do people even eat them

Alvin: For real?

Alvin: Dang

Alvin: Brittany just because you don't want to get your nails dirty doesn't mean others don't

Alvin: Takis are fucking good and you'll just never get to know

Brittany: Not much of a loss

Jeanette: Alright guys, please don't start an argument out of this. Who wants to go next?

Alvin: I was just speaking the truth

Brittany: Sure you were

Jeanette: It's an opinion Alvin, not a fact. They're only Takis, guys!

Eleanor: SOMEONE ELSE GO

Eleanor: Jeanette, how about you?

Jeanette: Oh okay

Brittany: Whatever

Jeanette: Theodore, what's your biggest fear?

Jeanette: If you're okay with sharing, of course

Theodore: No, it's okay! I have a few big fears, but I think the biggest is...clowns...but don’t tell anyone, ok??

Jeanette: Ohh okay, Theodore

Jeanette: I promise not to tell anyone :)

Alvin: Oh yeah lmao

Alvin: One time I wore a clown mask and scared the shit out of him

Eleanor: That’s so mean oh my god

Theodore: It wasn't funny, Alvin!!

Jeanette: Why would you do that!?

Alvin: It was fucking hilarious

Theodore: Well, not on my end! >:(

Jeanette: God, please just another question.

Jeanette: Here, how about one of you guys ask me a question?

Brittany: Okay Jeanette

Brittany: What qualities do you want in your future husband?

Jeanette: Oh. I forgot you still haven't asked your question.

Jeanette: Uhh well I don’t really know

Jeanette: Well, I’m fine as long as he's a good person and he cares about me :)

Eleanor: Makes sense

Alvin: That's it?

Jeanette: Well, yeah

Jeanette: What else should I say? That basically sums it up

Alvin: Sus

Jeanette: Wh…what do you mean "sus"??

Jeanette: There's nothing suspicious about it!

Jeanette: It’s a completely normal and reasonable answer

Jeanette: Right??

Theodore: Of course! Who would want to marry someone mean to them? 

Eleanor: Brittany

*message deleted*

Jeanette: See? Theodore gets it!

Brittany: I fucking saw that Eleanor

Eleanor: No you didn't 

Alvin: Wait what did she send

Brittany: Nothing

Eleanor: Nothing

Alvin: Now THAT'S sus

Eleanor: Moving on next question

Theodore: Hey Brittany!

TheodorE: Truth or Truth?

Brittany: Hit me

Alvin: Give her a good one Theo

Theodore: Who's your ideal partner?

Jeanette: Wait what kind of partner?

Theodore: Like in a relationship

Jeanette: Wait, seriously??

Theodore: Why not? I mean, Brittany asked those kinds of questions to you guys so i thought she should get a turn too! 

Brittany: Finally a good question!

Alvin: Brittany likes the Chad type

Eleanor: I wouldn't say that...

Theodore: Is that true, Brittany?

Brittany: Can I answer my own question please?

Alvin: I’m right though aren't I?

Brittany: I need somebody who gets me

Jeanette: Wait, is that all?

Jeanette: That's even shorter than my answer!

Brittany: No

Jeanette: Oh

Jeanette: Go on, then

Brittany: He needs to be attentive and understanding

Brittany: Very romantic

Brittany: And cute of course

Brittany: But really I just want someone I can talk to

Brittany: Without the risk of being judged

Brittany: That's all

Jeanette: Aw, that's sweet :)

Theodore: Hey Brittany, I know a few boys from class that could probably match that description! You might find a new boyfriend! :D

Theodore: Like Daniel, Alex, Connor, and even Little Jimmy!

Brittany: No offense Theodore but none of your friends are my type

Alvin: Blehhhhhh

Theodore: Oh that's okay Brittany, but Alvin can you please not be as mean? >:(

Alvin: Romance shromance

Alvin: Who needs it?

Theodore: Are you saying that because Little Jimmy got his first girlfriend before you?

Alvin: THEODORE CAN WE NOT

Brittany: AHAHAHAHAHAHA

Theodore: It's okay Alvin! It only lasted for a few years!

Alvin: I have been on more dates than he has

Brittany: And they dump you after bc you're so undesireable it's not even funny

Eleanor: Why does everything turn into this

Alvin: BECAUSE YOUR DATING LIFE IS SO MUCH BETTER?

Brittany: I usually get at least a second one

Jeanette: Guys, come on!

Brittany: And most of them are ended by me, not them

Brittany: Because I realized they weren't what I wanted

Jeanette: Just because you aren't each other's type doesn't mean the other is undesirable!

Eleanor: Why does it even matter

Theodore: Yeah

Theodore: You guys are a little too invested in each other's dating lives. In everyone's dating lives, actually.

Brittany: Okay whatever then

Eleanor: Next question?

Jeanette: Sure, why not. Who hasn't gone yet?

Eleanor: I don't even remember

Alvin: I’ll go again

********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

To: Brittany, 8:27 pm

Simon: Brittany.

*Sister Squad, 8:31 pm*

Brittany: Why did Simon just text me

Brittany: Is he still mad?

Jeanette: Wait he's texting you?

Jeanette: Like, YOU?

Brittany: Yes!

Jeanette: WHY??

Brittany: I don't know!

Eleanor: Well

Eleanor: Answer him

Jeanette: Yeah answer him

Brittany: What do I even say?

Jeanette: “Hello"????

Brittany: Ugh okay

Slick Six ;), 8:32 pm

Brittany: Actually I think we can finish now 

Alvin: Why?

Brittany: I’m busy

Alvin: What could you possibly be doing right now

Jeanette: It's girl stuff.

Alvin: Oh so YOU know?

Jeanette: Well no, I'm just guessing it's girl stuff

Jeanette: It's always girl stuff

Alvin: That's true

Theodore: Man, girl stuff is weird :/

Brittany: Yup

Brittany: Now stop asking questions

To: Nerd Boy, 8:33 pm

Brittany: Hi?

Simon: Sorry

Brittany: ….

Brittany: For what?

Simon: You know, for stuff

Simon: For arguing with you and such

Brittany: Um okay

Brittany: I accept your apology?

Simon: Thank you

Brittany: We always bicker a bit

Brittany: What makes this one different?

Simon: Ugh, I don’t know

Simon: I guess it's not usually as heated and stuff

Simon: It doesn’t matter anyway

Brittany: Um okay then

Brittany: You're just acting weird is all

Simon: Not all of us argue so often to a point where it's not as much as a big deal than it used to be

Simon: Sometimes it’s hard to say sorry, okay?

Brittany: Okay...

Brittany: I guess I'm sorry too

Simon: Thanks

Simon: Are we still friends?

Brittany: Yeah

Brittany: Why wouldn't we be

Simon: Idk, because you got mad and I got mad and your feelings got hurt and then mine did

Simon: But yeah, whatever, it's fine. The reason behind my thinking does not matter.

Simon: Thank you for clearing that up.

Brittany: Sure

Brittany: Is everything like.....okay?

Simon: Yeah

Brittany: Okay

*Sister Squad*, 8:42 pm

Brittany: He apologized

Jeanette: Wait, seriously?

Jeanette: What did you say to him??

Jeanette: Did you forgive him?

Jeanette: Was it awkward? Did you make things awkward?

Jeanette: Oh my god, do you think he's crying?

Brittany: Why don’t you check on him yourself then?

Brittany: He just apologized and that was it

Jeanette: Well, he didn't message ME, okay?

Jeanette: I just want to know if he's okay :(

Brittany: He's fine

Eleanor: Did you apologize back?

Brittany: Yes I did

Brittany: I think we're good? He was acting weird though

Jeanette: What kind of weird?

Eleanor: Define "weird"

Brittany: Like

Brittany: He asked if we're still friends

Eleanor: Oh?

Jeanette: I don’t know what to say

Jeanette: That’s…not good

Jeanette: Poor Simon, he must've taken it too seriously :(

Brittany: Yeah I'm really confused

Da bros >:), 9:08 pm

Theodore: Alvin do you think Simon's okay?

Theodore: I’m starting to get worried we left him alone for too long :(

Alvin: He's in this chat Theodore

Theodore: Oh yeah

Theodore: Simon are you okay?

Theodore: You know you can always talk to us!

Simon: Yeah, I'm fine.

Alvin: I don't believe you

Simon: I took a nap and now I'm fine

Alvin: Hm

Alvin: Okay

Chapter Text

Slick Six ;), 9:17 pm

Simon: You guys played Truth or Truth while I was gone? 

Alvin: Yeah

Jeanette: Sorry Simon, we just thought you wanted to be left alone and we thought the game would be a good distraction.

Simon: No, it's okay. I'm just confused why you guys decided to play Truth or Truth of all things.

Eleanor: We couldn't do truth or dare, so

*Sister Squad*, 9:20 pm 

Eleanor: Well he seems okay now 

Slick Six ;), 9:20 pm

Theodore: Wait, did you see our messages?

Alvin: He didn't leave the chat Theodore

Simon: Yeah...?

Simon: And of course, you guys decided to argue about your dating lives while I was gone. The most thrilling thing a teenager can ask in a game of Truth or Truth/Dare.

Simon: To be honest, I'm glad I was excluded from that game.

Brittany: We are too

Brittany: Okay I did NOT mean it like that

Brittany: Just you wouldn't have had fun

Eleanor: ????

Alvin: Simon's dares are lame anyway

Theodore: Wait does Simon even give dares?

Jeanette: Oh my god guys stop

Simon: No, fair enough. The game itself doesn't amuse me.

Jeanette: So you're not mad?

Simon: Of course not. Every time I play with Alvin and Brittany, it's “Do this crazy sometimes illegal bizarre dare" or “Tell me the truth, do you have a crush?"🤷🏼‍♂️

*Sister Squad*, 9:32 pm 

Jeanette: Oh my god, he just used a whole emoji

Jeanette: To like. Express himself. Without putting it into formal and factual words??

Eleanor: The duality of a man

Jeanette: We really do learn something new everyday

Brittany: I guess he is in the loop sometimes

Slick Six ;), 9:36 pm 

Brittany: Yeah because that's how you're supposed to play

Simon: Hey hey hey, no, I’m not playing

Simon: But yeah, i guess that is how you play the game. precisely why I don’t like it

Theodore: Oh well, don't worry, I can ask you some questions if you want!

Simon: Eh, no thanks.

Jeanette: You're sure you're okay?

Simon: Yeah, why are you asking?

Brittany: Okay so like what now?

Alvin: I dunno

Theodore: We could keep playing Truth or Truth?

Simon: NO, thank you Theodore.

Simon: You guys can if you want to, but there is NO way you're getting me involved.

Jeanette: How about we talk about your feelings? :)

Theodore: That sounds good!

Simon: Nooooo thank you, not for me

Jeanette: Okay then, how do you feel Theodore?

Theodore: Uh right now I feel pretty happy! :)

Jeanette: That's wonderful Theodore!😄

Theodore: Right?? How do you feel Jeanette?

Jeanette: Well, I feel quite relieved. I'm happy all my friends are okay.😊

Theodore: Me too!

Brittany: What the fuck

Simon: Be quiet, it's cute, let them talk about their feelings.

Theodore: You can join if you want Brittany!

Brittany: No

Theodore: Are you sure?

Alvin: Can we do something not stupid?

Simon: Yeah, suddenly this is no longer wholesome.

Jeanette: What do you suggest, Alvin?

Alvin: Let's talk about something a lot cooler

Alvin: LIKE THE NEW SPACE LEGENDS GAME THAT'S COMING OUT YOOOOOO

Simon: Wait, the new one?

Alvin: Yes!

Brittany: Nobody cares

Theodore: Wait, I didn't know there was a new one! What's it about!?

Jeanette: Looks like Theodore cares..

Simon: Uh, mostly the same stuff as the last one, Theo.

Jeanette: So how's it better than the last?

Alvin: Because now there are SUPER LASERS

Brittany: Wowwww really???

Jeanette: So are the lasers more super than before or is that just the name of the laser feature?

Theodore: I don't know, but it sounds cool!!!

Alvin: So the lasers used to do some damage but now they're critical!

Alvin: And there are new characters

Alvin: There's a girl now so like if you guys ever wanna come play now you can

Eleanor: Oh yay one girl character

Eleanor: Diversity!

Alvin: Well it's not really a girly game so like

Simon: Ooh, watch your tongue there, Alvin.

Alvin: Just saying

Jeanette: First of all, don't try and talk about what you think is "girly".

Jeanette: Secondly, it's not like any girl could use the avatar anyway.

Jeanette: Anyone can play a game, it doesn't matter if it's "girly" or not :)

Eleanor: Right

Theodore: Wait, why not?

Jeanette: Well, it's just that we usually just pick boy avatars, there's lots of mean people out there will say nasty things if they know you're a girl :(

Theodore: Awh, that's sad :(

Jeanette: And also because Brittany loves the moment she gets to reveal she was a girl the whole time after beating the game

Brittany: Gets them every time

Simon: Pretty sure that's what they call a "power move"

Jeanette: askajah yes simon, that's what we call a "power move"

Alvin: So you just lie?

Brittany: And you don't?

Alvin: Well yeah sometimes but

Alvin: Not during videogames

Jeanette: It's to protect ourselves from creepy guys

Jeanette: If you were a girl, you'd think differently

Eleanor: How would you feel if people kept asking you uncomfortable questions while you were trying to have fun?

Jeanette: Yeah! As soon as they know we're girls, they suddenly want to marry us, because we're "girl gamers" and "not like the other girls"

Alvin: What?

Alvin: Are people actually like that?

Jeanette: Yeah, aren't you aware?

Brittany: He doesn't care bc Alvin only cares about himself

Brittany: He doesn't know how to care about women

Simon: Calm down Brittany

Brittany: Am I wrong?

Alvin: I’m literally doing nothing and she attacks me

Simon: This is probably his first time hearing about this.

Simon: It's our unfortunate reality.

Eleanor: Alvin may be ignorant but I wouldn't say he "doesn't care" bc he's actively asking questions

Jeanette: Yeah

Theodore: So THIS is the reason girl characters are dressed so differently to boy characters?

Jeanette: Yeah, Theo :(

Alvin: Okay but the outfits are still cool

Jeanette: Wait, you do guys think the girl avatars you talk to in-game are real women?

Theodore: They aren't?

Simon: Oh god.

Brittany: Wow

Simon: Alvin, please tell me you know those aren't actually girls.

Alvin: Wait Theodore you thought the NPCs were real people?

Theodore: No, of course not!

Theodore: I mean the other players

Jeanette: Sorry Theodore, most of the time it's just guys with those avatars...

Alvin: Oh

Alvin: Wait why would a guy play a girl character

Simon: Why do you think?

Alvin: I don't know?

Jeanette: Who's gonna tell him?

Theodore: Not me, I have no idea🤷🏼

Jeanette: sigh

Brittany: It's so they can jerk off while they play

Eleanor: Brittany, PLEASE

Brittany: WELL IT'S TRUE

Jeanette: That was not the approach I was going for, but okay

Jeanette: Sometimes it might be because the girl avatar could have special effects or advantages

Jeanette: but most of the time, it's for the reason Brittany said

Theodore: Huh?

Simon: Theodore, it means the guys think the girl's avatars are more attractive.

Alvin: What? We don't fucking do that

Brittany: Woohoo! Did you win an award?

Jeanette: Maybe you don't Alvin, but lots of guys do

Simon: Think about every game you've ever played, Alvin. How are the girls modeled?

Alvin: You guys are making assumptions

Alvin: Yes the girls look sexy but that's because they're badass and sexy there's nothing wrong with that!

Simon: …wow...

Eleanor: A girl can't just be badass?

Brittany: This just in: We exist to be sexy

Jeanette: She has to be sexualized by men for men?

Jeanette: Why do all the girl models have the ideal bodies, then?

Eleanor: ^

Jeanette: How is it that they're all attractive?

Simon: Ever wonder that whenever you play Fortnite and have an ass in your face?

Alvin: Because they're fit? Idk

Eleanor: I'm fit

Jeanette: ^^

Alvin: Well yeah of course you are

Theodore: But Eleanor doesn't look like the characters in the game

Jeanette: You don't need to be "curvy" to be fit, Alvin. Do you even understand women's anatomy?

Alvin: I still don't see a problem

Brittany: They make other girls who don't have that body type feel ugly

Alvin: Oh?

Simon: And it enables creepy old men to draw and create inappropriate content of those girl characters and NPCs. It happens much more to the female characters than the male ones.

Jeanette: Yeah! What do you mean "oh"? I thought you knew that??

Alvin: Look I'm not really paying attention to this kinda stuff

Alvin: I care more about the game than the politics

Eleanor: It's not politics, it's human rights

Jeanette: At least understand the problem then. You don't have to focus on the problematic side, at least acknowledge it's problematic.

Da Bros >:), 9:55 pm

Simon: Alvin, be careful. 

Simon: I think you're actually annoying the Chipettes. And I'm annoyed as well, but this is a sensitive topic for them, okay?

Alvin: What am I supposed to do?

Simon: Just don't be annoying. Try.

Slick Six ;), 9:59 pm

Alvin: Well clearly it is since you guys are mad

Brittany: Wow

Brittany: He still doesn't get it

Da Bros >:), 9:59 pm

Alvin: WHAT

Simon: Alvin, just apologize and agree with them. But mean it when you say it.

Slick Six ;), 10:00 pm

Jeanette: Alvin, that's literally why we're mad. Because it's bad.

Alvin: Okay

Brittany: Whatever, it doesn't affect him so he doesn't care

Da Bros >:), 10:01 pm

Alvin: I don't know what they're even saying

Alvin: Making sexy women is bad now?

Simon: It's the way that they're constantly objectified.

Slick Six ;), 10:01 pm

Jeanette: That's the mentality a lot of guys have...

Alvin: I’M NOT LIKE THAT

Jeanette: Doesn't seem like it.

Jeanette: Y’know, I forget one quality I wanted in a future husband: not sexist.

Jeanette: Oh never mind, that falls under "good person"...

Da Bros >:), 10:02 pm

Alvin: I still don't get why they hate it so much

Alvin: I love being stared at

Alvin: The attention?

Simon: Well girls don't!

Simon: It's fucking scary Alvin, they get harassed constantly.

Slick Six ;), 10:02 pm

Alvin: So I'm sexist now?

Brittany: You've always been

Simon: You're literally fitting the definition.

Alvin: I’M NOT SEXIST

Eleanor: You're not sexist Alvin, but you are an ignorant boy

Da Bros >:), 10:03 pm

Alvin: Well I agree that they shouldn't be harrassed but is looking at someone harrassment?

Simon: No, but staring at them inappropriately for extended periods of time is, so is checking them out and looking at their body in an inappropriate manner.

Alvin: Am I supposed to not look then?

Simon: YES

Simon: Just respect their boundaries.

Slick Six ;), 10:04 pm

Brittany: You call women bitches

Brittany: You flirt with them without their permission

Brittany: You rated the girls in our class, Alvin

Alvin: You are the only women I've called a bitch first of all

Simon: That doesn't make anything any better.

Alvin: Second of all now I can't flirt?

Jeanette: Not when it makes random girls uncomfortable!

Alvin: Any girl would be lucky to have me flirt with them

Jeanette: Is he actually trying to tell us that girls love the attention he gives them?

Jeanette: Girls aren't just ass and boobs and I cannot believe I'm friends with someone who apparently thinks that way.

Alvin: I NEVER SAID THAT

Jeanette: It's been heavily implied!

Da Bros >:), 10:05 pm

Simon: Alvin, you are literally making Jeanette angry. Jeanette. Angry.

Alvin: I DON'T KNOW HOW?

Simon: How to respect boundaries? Or how you managed to piss off Jeanette?

Alvin: HOW I PISSED THEM OFF

*Sister Squad*, 10:07 pm

Jeanette: Can you believe him??

Brittany: I HATE HIM SO MUCH

Eleanor: He hangs out with the wrong guys

Eleanor: They're putting shit into his head

Jeanette: Exactly!

Brittany: Alvin wouldn't care either way

Slick Six ;), 10:08 pm

Theodore: Alvin is this a prank?

Theodore: Please tell me it is…

Alvin: I’m being attacked

Brittany: Because YOU'RE the victim here

Alvin: I have never been sexist towards you guys and now you think I'm some bad person and I don't get it

Theodore: You're being mean, Alvin.

Eleanor: Alvin

Eleanor: I think you need to take a course on women's rights

Alvin: Why?

Simon: Because you're literally and genuinely confused and clueless.

Simon: You can't recognize and identify sexism and misogyny.

Alvin: Not true

Alvin:I know about the women's suffering movement

Eleanor: …

Eleanor: The Woman's Suffrage Movement?

Alvin: Yeah that one Eleanor

Alvin: See I know my shit

Jeanette: Look Alvin, we all start somewhere, but right now you sound just like sexist guys.

Brittany: Just keep digging that hole

Alvin: I’m not trying to!

Simon: God, we actually have to teach him. He literally doesn't know.

Simon: This is ridiculous.

Eleanor: I hate how society doesn't educate boys on how to treat us girls

Jeanette: Exactly!!!

Alvin: I still don't understand

Theodore: Yeah, I didn't even know much about this before..

Alvin: Am I actually sexist?

Brittany: Don't pretend like you don't do it on purpose

Alvin: I’M BEING SERIOUS

Eleanor: I think you just don't know how to interact with us because you don't understand us

Jeanette: Yeah...

Alvin: Well that's true

Alvin: Girls are so complicated

Eleanor: See that's the problem

Eleanor: We're really not, you just haven't been educated properly

Simon: That's a stereotype in itself, Alvin.

Alvin: What?

Brittany: Tell me you see more value in a woman than her looks and how she benefits you

Jeanette: It's not that hard of a thing to answer, Alvin.

Alvin: Of course I do

Alvin: I have a mom

Brittany: Congrats, so do all sexists

Alvin: I’M NOT DONE

Alvin: I think women are great because they give us life, you know?

Alvin: And also I have you three as great friends

Alvin: And you're super talented

Alvin: I’m trying okay?

Alvin: I may not understand girls but I still appreciate them

*Sister Squad*, 10:19 pm

Jeanette: Do you think he means it?

Brittany: It sounds forced to me

Jeanette: It sounded pretty genuine

Jeanette: But idk

Jeanette: He usually tries to smooth talk his way out of trouble

Eleanor: I think he's making an attempt

Eleanor: I’ll give him credit

Jeanette: Yeah. He did sound pretty confused

Brittany: Still not convinced

Jeanette: Oh come on Brittany, Alvin's not as bad as you make him out to be!

Jeanette: He's grown up thinking like that but at least he's trying to understand why it's wrong :(

Brittany: You guys are just falling into his trap

Jeanette: Brittany, there isn't any trap.

Brittany: He's going to go back to his normal self

Brittany: And do this shit again

Jeanette: What if he doesn't?

Brittany: Then I'll be surprised

Eleanor: I’d like to think Alvin is capable of learning something

Brittany: Is he?

Jeanette: He is, Brittany. At least give him the benefit of the doubt while he tries to show us.

Eleanor: Right

Slick Six ;), 10:21 pm

Eleanor: Thank you Alvin

Jeanette: Yeah, thank you.

Alvin: You’re welcome

Da Bros >:), 10:24 pm

Simon: I think they've forgiven you. A little at least.

Simon: I don't know about Brittany, though.

Simon: But, good job on that, Alvin. That was actually really kind of you to say..

Alvin: Phew

Alvin: I was starting to get worried

Simon: But you meant what you said, right?

Alvin: Of course I did

Alvin: I don't hate women

Simon: Sorry Alvin, I know that. It's just unfortunately I felt the need to double-check due to the conversations we've been having in the last few minutes.

Alvin: Look I know I made myself look bad back there

Theodore: Yeah, really bad..

Alvin: I just don't get how guys can use women like that....like they use their good qualities as a bad thing?

Simon: Ohh

Simon: Well, the thing is, Alvin

Simon: There's always a way for people to twist something bad into something good.

Simon: And it goes the other way, too.

Alvin: Yeah I suppose

Simon: Not sure if you're aware, but girls all around the world have been harassed, assaulted, r@ped, spoken down to, stereotyped, shamed, bullied, fet!shized, and so much more. Simply because there are some disgusting people out there.

Alvin: I am aware of that

Alvin: I just didn't think that it was because of women looking sexy on videogames and stuff

Theodore: Yeah, I actually didn't know that either.

Alvin: I don't know how they're connected tbh

Simon: I know guys, it's hard sometimes to make the connection, but you'd be surprised as to how much of an influence it is.

Alvin: Okay so like

Alvin: Guys do that shit to women because they think they owe them something

Alvin: I know this

Simon: Yeah

Alvin: How are the sexy game women telling them that?

Simon: Young boys play those games too, Alvin.

Alvin: But they don't think that bc of the game right?

Simon: What are they supposed to think if they spend more time looking at fictional women designed by men than time interacting with real women?

Simon: They get horny, want a girl to match the unrealistic standards the in-game models have, are not taught how to respect women properly and then become assholes when they realize girls aren't just NPCs.

Alvin: Oh

Simon: A lot of the women in games are to fuel the male fantasy. Everything's connected.

Alvin: I GET IT NOW

Simon: Really??

Alvin: The games create unrealistic expectations

Simon: Yeah?

Alvin: Then the men get mad when the women don't meet them

Alvin: Right?

Simon: Yeah, that's a big part of it.

Simon: They don't treat women like humans, they treat them like objects and like NPCs, to sum it up. 

Alvin: That makes sense now

Alvin: Wow this is fucked up man

Theodore: Yeah, it really is :(

Simon: That's why girls don't usually pick girl avatars, it's hard enough getting harassed in the streets for just being a girl, so imagine playing a game with a highly sexualized character with dozens of disgusting guys.

Simon: I’m really proud of you guys, you know.

Alvin: You are?

Simon: Yeah, of course. You're putting in the effort to understand something you've grown up not knowing about and you're doing it for moralistic reasons.

Simon: That takes a lot, guys. I'm sure the Chipettes would be really proud if they knew how hard you've been trying.

Alvin: I don't know what that means but thanks Si

Simon: No problem, Alvin. 🙂

Chapter Text

Saturday October 1st

Slick Six, 10:35 pm

Eleanor: Let's change the subject

Eleanor: To something lighter

Jeanette: Yeah, that would be a good idea.

Eleanor: What are you guys doing for dinner tomorrow night?

Theodore: I’m making Quiche for dinner!

Theodore: Well, Dave said I should help but

Theodore: Alvin and Simon agreed I'd probably add a little more flavor and cheese to it then he usually does😅

Alvin: Hell yeah

Theodore: What are you girls doing?

Brittany: No idea

Theodore: Really? Not even a little idea?

Eleanor: I might cook something

Eleanor: What do you guys say we eat dinner like normal, then Theo and I can make dessert and we all eat it here?

Eleanor: It's been a while since we've all been together

Theodore: Yeah, we should do that!!😃

Simon: If you girls want to, sure.

Jeanette: I don't see why not☺️

Alvin: I’m down

Theodore: What about you, Brittany?

Brittany: Sure whatever

Theodore: Yay!!!

Theodore: Eleanor, do you have enough ingredients at your house?

Eleanor: I always do, but go ahead and bring what you want!

Theodore: Alright!

Theodore: Should we decide what we'll make now or tomorrow?

Eleanor: We’ll worry about it tomorrow when we see each other 

Theodore: Alright then, see you girls then!

Sunday, October 2nd, 7:42 pm

It was a lovely Sunday evening in the Miller household, and Eleanor was very excited to have the boys over for dessert, just like they had planned the day before. She had made sure to organize her ingredients and supplies perfectly at her station on the kitchen counter, ready for her and Theo's future baking session. Smiling brightly, she looked at the setup briefly before turning to wait at the front door for the brothers to arrive.

Over by the entrance stood a very nervous Jeanette. The boys were going to be there soon, and she was feeling extremely anxious. Eleanor looked really excited to have them over, and while she was also happy to see them again, she couldn't help but reflect on what they had talked about in their group chat. Recently, things had been... awkward. She couldn't tell if that was her mind looking too much into it, but everyone had been fighting and she hated it when people fought, especially people she loved. She had forgiven Alvin for their misunderstanding, but had Brittany? What if they started arguing again? She finished tying up her hair into its usual messy bun and sighed. At least she would see Simon and Theodore, right? She still did need to check up on Simon. The purple Chipette waltzed over to the lounge room and plopped down on her couch as she waited. Everything is going to be fine, she reassured herself. 

Meanwhile, Brittany wasn't sure how to feel. Sure, she was always fine with the Chipmunks coming over but after the chaos of yesterday's conversations she wasn't so sure anymore. Simon was still acting a little strange it seemed, and Alvin was, well, Alvin! Could she handle the drama that was inevitably going to come crashing down once the boys arrived?

As the girls were mentally preparing themselves for the boys’ arrival, a loud knock on their door alerted them that it was time.

Outside of the Miller residence, Theodore waited patiently with his brothers for one of the girls to open the door. He felt particularly animated that night. Well, how couldn't he? He had an amazing dinner with his brothers, and now he was going to make dessert with Eleanor and eat it with his best friends! He did notice, however, his brothers didn't look quite as excited. Simon kept cleaning his glasses even though they were spotless (a nervous habit of his), and Alvin seemed to have something on his mind. Maybe they were just a little hungry….

Alvin indeed did have a couple of things on his mind. As he impatiently waited for someone to open the door, he thought about what he was going to do once he entered. He wanted in right away, mostly for dessert but also for some quality time with the girls.  Maybe tonight he could try to make it up to the Chipettes and finally prove to them that he was a decent man and not one of those dirt bags back at school. Hopefully, at least. 

After what seemed like way too long, the door finally opened and Eleanor could be seen right inside. "Hey guys!" she cheered, smiling big.

Simon felt himself smile at the blonde Chipette's enthusiasm upon seeing them. He watched Theodore smile brightly and greet her back with the same energy.

"What's up, girls?" Alvin smiled, straightening his cap.

"Eleanor just got the kitchen ready, come in," Jeanette replied warmly as Theodore hurried into the house, Simon and Alvin following slowly behind. 

Once he made his way in, Eleanor immediately took Theo's hand and guided him towards the kitchen. "I have everything set up already, so feel free to add whatever you brought to the counter.”

As he entered, Simon smiled at the sight of his best friend, but his face fell when he spotted the auburn-haired Chipette a distance away from her. Suddenly, memories of their previous argument had flooded his brain. He didn't know what got into him. He let his emotions control him. No, he assured himself.  It was fine, they had made up, they were still friends, it was just a little argument. He wouldn't let his emotions get the better of him, not again. He cleared his head and followed his older brother further into the house.

Alvin entered with his hands in his pockets, trying hard to not be awkward. The last interaction with the Chipettes that he had was a political argument, so he wasn't entirely sure he was 100 percent welcome at the moment. Brittany's stare confirmed that worry as he locked eyes with her. She stayed back, watching him coldly. 

Jeanette noticed how her sister glared at Alvin, and how he quietly walked in, something unusual of him. This created a whole new whirlwind of negative emotions, but her anxious thoughts about the evening were soon interrupted by a gentle hand on her shoulder. Surprised, she turned around but eased when she saw it was only Simon, smiling at her. She decided to ask him how he was feeling, to which he seemed alright with his response. Perhaps something was a little off, but he was probably just nervous. She was too. Jeanette led him past Brittany and to their leather couch so they could sit and wait as their younger siblings baked in the kitchen.

Brittany briefly watched her sister walk with Simon over to the couch before turning back to face the front. Of course, she thought to herself. This happened almost every time that they met up with the Chipmunks. Eleanor would hang out with Theodore to cook something, and Jeanette and Simon would find each other to talk about some weird nerdy topic, leaving her with…….him. The him in question however was looking down at the floor, seemingly distracted by something. Maybe she could just ignore him this time.

Alvin also watched as both of his brothers ditched him for their female counterparts. Drat, he thought to himself. Now he was stuck alone, trying desperately to avoid Brittany's gaze. Why did she always have to be so intense? Was she really still pissed at him for earlier?

After “a few moments of trying to ignore him, Brittany had had enough. Even watching him sulk to himself was making her infuriated. “I’m going to go up to our room, tell me when dessert is ready," Brittany shouted quickly before pivoting herself towards the stairs and heading up. She was not in the mood to awkwardly hang around Alvin right now. Sometimes he could just be so annoying, and this time was worse since he straight up didn't know how to not be offensive towards her and her sisters. Didn't he realize that men shouldn't have a say in female representation? Whatever, she thought, opening her bedroom door and immediately flopping down onto her bed. She was too tired to think about this anymore. Alvin was always going to remain ignorant, and unfortunately she just had to accept that.

Alvin just stood there and watched Brittany walk up. Seriously? he thought. Brittany didn't even want to try this time? Whatever....

Miller Kitchen, 7:55 pm

Theodore had become very familiar with the kitchen of the Miller residence, so it didn’t take him long to place all of his ingredients in their proper places besides Eleanor’s. He wondered what he'd bake tonight with her as he added containers of his favorite sprinkles and spices to the counter. As excited as he was, Theodore noticed something in the atmosphere seemed a bit off. Everything was fine with Eleanor though, and she looked happy enough as she washed her hands. But Brittany and Alvin were very quiet and that usually meant something was wrong. The other two seemed fine but he kept glancing worriedly at Alvin and Brittany as he continued preparing. A nice dessert could fix anything, right? He stepped behind Eleanor at the sink, ready to wash his hands next. While he did, he thought of what to make. Maybe cupcakes? Or maybe a nice pie? Pie always made him feel better. 

When Eleanor finished washing up, she noticed that Theodore was looking the other way. When she turned her head in the same direction, she immediately knew where his attention had gone. The tension was definitely there, no more than usual, but it still had that same burning effect on the rest of the group. Hopefully this time it wouldn't blow up in their faces. "Why don't we get started?" she asked him, smiling at him in an attempt to distract him from whatever was going on. 

Miller Lounge, 7:57 pm

Simon had been trying to keep up his conversation with Jeanette about their upcoming science assignment but every time she looked over to the side to where Brittany and Alvin stood, he did too. He noticed how she was fiddling with her fingers, and swinging her feet. He knew the, ah, problems the group was having weren't directly about her but he knew her well enough to understand she felt anxious and uncomfortable when the people around her weren't getting along. So inevitably, it would affect her too. He also knew one or both of their older siblings were bound to catch them starting soon enough.

"Hey, Jeanette?" he put a hand on her shoulder to ground her.

"Y-Yeah?" she looked at him.

"It's going to be okay."

Jeanette let herself breathe out and smile at him. Yeah, he was right. Alvin and Brittany always fought, and they always had some sort of awkward tension between them. But Simon was right, that didn't necessarily mean they were gonna fight.

….But what if they did?

Right as she was about to shake the thought off, she watched her sister run up the stairs to their room and Alvin scoff once she left. She quickly turned to face Simon again. "Uh, so, wh-what did you say about our next science assignment? It's going to be more focused on chemistry, right?" she asked despite already knowing the answer. She hoped Simon wouldn't realize that it was her who told him that and just accept the distraction, and she felt so relieved when he did. 

He did. Of course he did. Simon did know of the inaccuracy within her logic. But he wasn't going to tell her that, especially if it mean stressing her out. "Yup, it was about chemistry." 

Meanwhile, Alvin was really fucking bored after Brittany decided to run away. What was the point of even coming if there was going to be no-one to talk to? He decided he was just going to have to cure it himself, even if that meant interrupting Jeanette and Simon's perfectly innocent conversation on the couch. Strutting over to the lounge area, Alvin sat down and got comfortable in one of the chairs opposite to the dorky pair. "Sup?" he said as smooth as possible. 

Jeanette was surprised when Alvin sat down opposite them. Maybe things weren't as awkward for the Sevilles as he thought. Still, she didn't think it was very nice of him to interrupt, but that was okay, the more the merrier, right? "Hey, Alvin," she greeted him with a smile.

"Watcha two talkin about?"

"Nothing much, just our upcoming science assignment," Simon answered cautiously.

"Oh,” Alvin replied, wrinkling his nose in disgust. "I should have known you would be talking about something lame."

Jeanette watched Simon roll his eyes and groan, but she was going to give Alvin a second chance. Maybe he actually did want to talk to them. "Well, i-it's not lame, per se. It's about chemistry, actually. You like chemistry class, don't you, Alvin?" she asked.

Alvin gave Jeanette a deadpan look. "Seriously?" he asked. "I don't pay attention in chemistry unless something is blowing up."

Simon glared at him and crossed his arms. "Alvin, if you're only here to tell us our conversation is boring to you, you can go ahead and leave now."

"Wh-wh-what!? That's not what I'm doing at all!" Alvin protested. He was lying, but the red-clad teen really didn't want to be left alone again.

Jeanette could tell Simon wasn't buying any of it, but she felt bad for Alvin. Theodore and Eleanor were in the kitchen, she and Simon were having their own conversation, and Brittany was still upstairs. She didn't want to leave him all by himself. "O-Okay, Alvin. Then what do you suggest we talk about?" she smiled, curious as to what he had to say. She tried to keep her gaze on Alvin, but she felt very nervous with the image of Simon looking at her from the corner of her eye. She couldn't tell if he was mad, surprised, or happy, but she decided it was a bad time to assume the worst. She'd just have to wait and see what Alvin would say.

"Well....." Alvin began, but he didn't actually have anything else on his mind. All he could think about was their conversation earlier, and that had gone downhill fast. What even was a good topic to discuss with Jeanette and Simon? All they wanted to talk about were nerdy things....

Simon was a tad upset Alvin had joined them, but at least Jeanette didn't seem to be angry at him. Wait, of course Jeanette wasn't angry at him. She forgave people easily, and Eleanor was reasonable enough to forgive him. Unfortunately, it was Brittany who seemed to still remain angry. He could empathize with his brother when it came to making up with the pink Chipette; it wasn't easy. So he really did have to try and converse with his brother. "You've got nothing, don't you?" Simon arched a brow. 

Alvin sighed. "I got nothin."

Jeanette felt guilty. She shouldn't have, but she did. She had turned a normal conversation into an awkward silence. She cleared her throat before speaking again. “Uh, okay. W-Well, what do you guys think Theodore and Eleanor will be making?" she asked in an attempt to rekindle the conversation.

Alvin perked up. Surprisingly enough, Jeanette saved the conversation. "Whatever it is, I bet it's gonna be delicious."

"Well, of course, that's a given," Simon agreed. "I just really hope it's not too sweet," he added, grimacing at the memory of Theodore's birthday cupcakes. He remembered the toothache everyone got after eating them. There had been so many, and Simon was sure the icing alone had to have been 90% sugar and 10% everything else. He could only hope they weren't making cupcakes. 

"Well I'm starving, so I hope it doesn't take too long,” Alvin said. 

 7:57 pm

After Theodore had finished showing Eleanor the spices and sprinkles he had brought with him, they started talking about what they should make.

“What do you think we should do, Ellie?” Theodore began. “It has to be good enough to cheer everyone up.” He pursed his lips as he thought it over. He then looked over to Eleanor, who simply shrugged. A few moments later, his earlier idea sprung into his head. "Oh, I know!" he grinned. "What if we make pie? There's no going wrong with pie!"

"Ooh, good one!" Eleanor replied. "What flavor?"

"Maybe lemon meringue? Or apple, blueberry, pumpkin, cherry- you know, there's a lot of fruit-flavored pies," Theodore answered. "What do you think Alvin and Brittany would enjoy?" The green Seville really hoped everything could be resolved that night and that it wouldn't last any longer, so it was important both Alvin and Brittany would like the pie.

"Hmmm," Eleanor began, tapping her chin. "Brittany's favorite is cherry. I wouldn't know Alvin's, but I'm sure it's something completely different. Those two always make every decision much harder..."

"Well, Alvin loves blueberry pies! So maybe we should make a cherry-blueberry pie?" Theodore suggested.

"And mix them together?" Eleanor began, "What a creative idea Theodore!"

Theodore felt himself glow at the compliment. "Thanks, Ellie! Maybe we can show them that if they try hard enough, they can get along just like us!" He helped Eleanor get the rest of the needed equipment out of the cupboards and shelves and preheated the oven. "So, where do you guys keep your fruit, again?"

"Top left," Eleanor answered. She smiled at Theodore's genuine happiness. She wanted the same thing Theodore did, but he was a lot more optimistic about it. Maybe she could be proven wrong, though.

Chipette's Room, 7:58 pm

After leaving everyone behind and sulking on her bed, Brittany ended up casually scrolled through her phone, checking every social media she owned to see what her friends were doing. As she was flipping through her Instagram feed, the chipette gasped as she saw one of her friend’s posts. “Audrey and Michael are DATING?" she exclaimed, dropping her phone in shock. "That skank! Michael was supposed to be MY date to Homecoming! What does she think she's doing!?!?!?!?!?!?!?"

It was October of the six’s sophomore year of high school, meaning they were about to embark on their second homecoming experience. Neither Simon or Jeanette had gone the previous year and were very glad they didn’t after hearing about all of the things that had happened during it, leading them to be even more cautious about this one. Eleanor and Theodore had already picked each other as their date to the dance, and although it was completely platonic, everyone else saw it as mighty suspicious of the two. Alvin was going with his newly proclaimed “girlfriend” Jessica White, the school’s queen bitch of the senior class. That left Brittany as the only one going without a date, which was quite ridiculous in her opinion. She was voted sophomore princess of this year’s homecoming, so how in the hell was this possible? To make matters even worse, she had developed a crush on Michael Sanders ever since he transferred at the beginning of the school year, and Audrey knew she was planning on getting him to ask her. Now here her so called bestfriend was, dating him like it was nothing. The act of betrayal hurt Brittany harder than anything else could, so her first response was to take a screenshot of the post and rant to her sisters about it. Unfortunately for her, Brittany didn’t check her phone before hitting send….

Slick Six >:), 7:59 pm

Brittany: You guys won't believe this

Brittany sent a screenshot

Simon: What?

Brittany: Audrey and Michael? Seriously?

Brittany: Wait Simon how the fuck are you in our

Brittany: FUCK

Simon: I have no idea what you're saying.

 8:01 pm

Not long after Alvin had finished complaining about dinner, his phone buzzed. He checked it to find that Brittany had texted the group chat. Curious, he opened it. Woah, Audrey and Michael are dating now? he thought. Then he realized that Brittany would never send gossip to him, making him chuckle at her obvious mistake.

Slick Six >:), 8:01 pm

Alvin: It's okay Simon I speak fluent Brittany

Alvin: You meant to send this to just your sisters didn't you

Alvin: That's priceless

Brittany: Disregard this then

Simon: Alright, that's fine with me. I don't really care to be honest, but good luck with whatever it is.

Jeanette watched all of this going down, from Simon feeling a buzz from his phone and picking it up with a confused look on his face, to Alvin taking out his and doing the same, except he laughed at his screen. What are they looking at? she wondered.

"Hey Jeanette, I think your sister's trying to text you," Simon said.

Oh. She had left her phone on silent.

"Yeah, but she ended up telling everyone," Alvin added snarkily, laughing a little louder this time.

Simon looked up from his phone and shot a harsh glare at his older brother. "Alvin. Don't turn this into another argument," he told him in a stern voice. He couldn't let this happen all over again.

Alvin stopped laughing, but that didn't stop him from enjoying the moment. "Relax Simon, I'm just teasing," he reassured, smiling back down at his phone.

*Sister Squad*, 8:03 pm

Brittany: Ugh that was so embarassing

Jeanette: Oh…yeah I see what you mean...

Jeanette: Sorry Britt, I had my phone on silent :(

Brittany: Anyways YOU ALL KNOW I WAS GOING TO ASK MICHAEL

Brittany: SHE STOLE HIM

Slick Six >:), 8:04 pm

Alvin: No no I think you should tell us more

Alvin: What do you have against Audrey and Michael dating?

*Sister Squad*, 8:06 pm

Brittany: Ugh Alvin isn't gonna leave me alone about this is he

Jeanette: Did Audrey know you were going to ask him?

Brittany: She did!

Brittany: I literally can't believe her

Jeanette: But maybe she just likes Michael?

Brittany: Nonsense

Brittany: She told me he wasn't her type

Brittany: What a liar

Jeanette: What if she changed her mind?

Brittany: She always changes her mind

Brittany: Poor Michael is going to be dumped in probably 2 weeks

Jeanette: Oh :(

Jeanette: Poor Michael!

Brittany: Right?

Slick Six >:), 8:06 pm

Brittany: I am refusing to comment

Alvin: Why? Is it embarrassing?

Simon: Alvin, give it a rest.

Brittany: Thank you Simon

Alvin: You like him don't you?

Brittany: None of your business

Alvin: It's okay, I already know

Alvin: Why Michael though?

Alvin: He's kinda yuck if you ask me

Brittany: Michael is not yuck

Brittany:He's dreamy, sweet, charming, and very very attractive

Brittany: More than you'll ever be

Alvin:🤮

Eleanor: LITERALLY JUST LET THEO AND I MAKE THE PIE OKAY?

Brittany: Sorry Eleanor, I didn't mean for this to happen

Simon: It's fine guys, it's not like it matters anyway.

Alvin: We're having pie?

Alvin: Nice!

Jeanette: I love pie!!

Alvin: Is it blueberry?

Eleanor: It's a blueberry cherry mix

Jeanette: That sounds delicious! :)

Alvin: Why cherry?

Jeanette: Cherry's nice isn't it?

Eleanor: I know Brittany likes cherry and some of us also do

Brittany: Yes that's my favorite! Thank you so much Ellie

Eleanor: Yw!

8:09 pm

Theodore was fitting the pastry dough into the pie dish when he glanced over to Eleanor, who was on her phone. "Hey Ellie, is everything alright?" he asked.

"Yup," Eleanor replied, turning her phone off. "Everyone's just asking about what we're making."

"Ohh, okay! Well, I bet they're excited about the pie! I know I sure am!" Theodore cheered.

Eleanor smiled. "Then let's get cooking!"

 8:10 pm

So Brittany was into Michael. Interesting. Very interesting in fact, considering he was a literal douchebag. Alvin hated him ever since he transferred to their school this year, and the things he heard that guy say were less than pretty. Maybe he should warn her before she actually attempted to get with him. 

To: Tiny Brat, 8:11 pm

Alvin: Just between you and me Britt, Michael is not the type of guy you wanna be dating

Brittany: Why should I care what you think of someone?

Alvin: I’m just saying

Alvin: He once told me and a bunch of other guys that he likes to get girls to have sex with him and then leaves them stranded after the date

Brittany: Stop lying

Brittany: Michael would never do that

Brittany: Even if he did, why would he tell you?

Alvin: He was bragging about it

Alvin: I’m telling the truth Britt

Alvin: I just don't want you getting hurt

Brittany: Idk why you're so obsessed with this

Brittany: You just want my life to be miserable don't you?

Alvin: No

Brittany: Okay whatever

Brittany: Now stop texting me

Alvin: Whatever you say

Alvin sighed as he continued texting Brittany. She was way too stubborn, always sticking to how she felt about someone despite what anyone else says about them. Fine, he thought, If you wanna go ahead and pursue him be my guest. You'll regret it, come running back to me crying, and then I'll just say I told you so…

Meanwhile, Simon watched as Jeanette's enthusiastic messages about the pie with smiley faces filled the group chat at the same she was chewing her bottom lip and tapping her fingers nervously against the brown leather of the cushioned couch. She kept glancing between Alvin, who was typing something out with a scrunched up face, and her own phone's screen. She must have been thinking the same thing he was. He was texting someone, but he wasn't texting in the group chat, there were no notifications. He put his hand over hers, mostly to soothe her anxiety, but also to get her attention. "He's probably texting one of his other friends," he whispered with a calm smile. If he could show Jeanette he was relaxed, she could relax too. 

8:13 pm

Brittany groaned. Alvin was being very annoying about this. Not only did he now know she was interested in Michael Sanders, but he was also protesting it? He didn't even know Michael that well! Not as well as she did.....

"What does he know?" Brittany asked herself out loud. "It's not like he's really a ladies man anyway. He's probably just jealous that Michael gets wayyy more girls than he does. Girls that ACTUALLY wanna be with him???"

After the brief conversation with herself, Brittany decided to vent to her sisters about the frustrating conversation. 

Sister Squad, 8:13 pm

Brittany: Alvin is so annoying

Jeanette: What did he do this time?

Jeanette: Well, rather, what makes you say that this time?

Brittany: He keeps bothering me about the Michael shit

Brittany: And now he's saying Michael is a bad person

Jeanette: Oh, what did he say about Michael?

Brittany: That he uses girls for sex and then leaves them

Jeanette: Oh

Jeanette: Well, and I hate to suggest this, but what if Alvin's right and he's just trying to warn you? It doesn't really make sense for him to lie about that :/

Brittany: Does Alvin ever tell the truth?

Brittany: I know Michael better than he does

Brittany: Alvin wouldn't do something nice for me

Jeanette: Wait, are you and Michael even friends?

Brittany: Well no

Brittany: But I follow him on every social media

Jeanette: Brittany, you should know by now you can't always trust social media!

Jeanette: Social media is just an image we want everyone else to see.

Brittany: Okay but for the most part yes you can

Jeanette: No, you can't. But aside from that, Alvin's talked with Michael much more than you have and why would a guy talk to girls about what Alvin told you he said? I'm just thinking you should try thinking about these things more, Britt.

Jeanette: If he is a horrible person, then he and Audrey deserve each other, so you won't have to worry about that anymore

Brittany: Do you actually think Alvin is right?

Brittany: Wow Jeanette, some sister you are

Jeanette: But Brittany! What if he is a bad guy?? Then you'll be so heartbroken!

Brittany: He's not

Eleanor: Ugh this is getting annoying

Eleanor: If you shut him down without hearing him out first you might regret it

Eleanor: That's all I'm saying, I gotta go back to making you all dessert

Jeanette: Eleanor's right, and good luck with the dessert, Ellie!

Brittany: Okay whatever

 8:30 pm

A little bit of time passed, but not much was said after Brittany’s accidental text started some more unnecessary drama within the group. Alvin could tell that Jeanette and Simon were feeling particularly awkward about the whole thing, and the silence very quickly began to internally kill him. He also began thinking about the delicious blueberry pie he was about to partake in eating, and the more he thought about it, the hungrier he got. "Yo Theodore, is the pie ready yet!?" Alvin shouted across the room towards the kitchen. 

Theodore heard his brother yell from the other room. "Yeah, almost! Just gotta bake a little more!" he yelled back.

“Awesome!” Alvin shouted back. 

Eleanor rolled her eyes. "He couldn't have walked in here and asked?" she commented, but she wasn’t planning on taking it any further. She had dealt with enough frustration this fine evening, and it wasn’t worth it to start another argument. She just wanted to have a nice peaceful dessert with her friends. 

Back in the lounge, Alvin hopped off of the chair and stood up. "Should I go get the princess from upstairs?" he offered, his voice sparkling with a hint of snarkiness. 

"Uh, I don't think so, Alvin," Jeanette began. "She probably doesn't want to see you….”

"Pfft, what?" Alvin began, scoffing at Jeanette's statement. "Now why would you say that?"

"Alvin. Think about all your conversations with Brittany today and how they went, and then try and answer that question yourself," Simon deadpanned.

Alvin tapped his chin in thought, then shrugged. "I'm sure she's over it. Besides, I gotta talk to her about something else, so if you'll excuse me........"

Jeanette sighed. "O-Okay Alvin, just be nice to her," she said as he walked off.

"Are you kidding? Nice is my middle name," Alvin replied, making his way upstairs to the Chipette's bedroom.

"Everything is his middle name," Simon muttered with an eye roll. 

8:31 pm

A few minutes after angrily texting her sisters for a bit, which only angered her more since they didn't agree with her, Brittany heard a knock on the door. 

"Yo Britt, dessert is almost ready. You comin down?" 

The eldest Chipette immediately recognized the annoying voice of her red-clad counterpart. Why was he even up here? 

"Kay."

Kay? That was all she had to say to him? Damn, she really was mad huh? 

"Okay uh.....I guess I'll meet you down then," Alvin added, feeling instantly awkward again. He would just have to talk to her about Michael later. Maybe he can knock at least a little sense into her...

Brittany rose a brow at Alvin's last comment. Why did he sound so dejected? Awkward, even? And that was it? She said okay and he wasn't pushing anything onto her? It was really that simple????

"Huh," she huffed, leaping off of her bed and making her way towards the door. Brittany opened it and started walking downstairs.

After making his way back down, Alvin returned to the lounge area and flopped dramatically on the couch from behind. "You're right Jeanette," Alvin began, sighing. "She doesn't want to see me. She hates me!"

Jeanette was surprised to see Alvin's mood change so quickly. He had been so confident before he went up the stairs. "Awh, it's alright Alvin, I-I'm sure she doesn't hate you," Jeanette told him as she and Simon inched away to make room for the red Seville.

Alvin smiled a little at Simon's and Jeanette's gesture before climbing down onto the couch in between the two. "It's okay, I know she does," Alvin continued, his dramatic act now over. "I mean I just told her something true about a guy she likes and she doesn't want to believe me. That's fine, she'll just have to learn the hard way I guess."

Simon didn't recall Alvin telling Brittany that. Oh, so he must've been private messaging Brittany earlier. "It's okay Alvin, at least you tried to warn her,” Simon reassured, giving him a comforting pat on the back. 

"Yup, sure did."

"Talking about me behind my back, huh?" 

Alvin jumped a little and whipped his head around to face the angry Chipette. "Can a guy not vent?"

"I don't need your little attitude, Alvin. I'm sick of your shit."

"What shit?"

"The bullshit that you're spreading about Michael!"

"It's not bullshit!"

"Is to!"

"Is not!"

"IS TOO!"

"IS NOT!"

"IS TOO!" 

The arguing was loud enough to be heard from the kitchen, disrupting the baking session that was finishing up in there. Eleanor quickly shoved the finished pie into the oven and huffed angrily at the noise outside. “They literally couldn't last more than thirty minutes."

"Yeah!" Theodore agreed. Once the pie was in the oven, he immediately started cleaning up the kitchen. The sooner they could finish, the better.

Unfortunately for the two culinary talents, the arguing did not stop, but they weren’t the only ones getting annoyed by it. 

Simon groaned. "Can you two NOT argue right now!?" he began. "And if you're going to, do it somewhere else!" the frustrated chipmunk demanded.

“Well maybe if your idiot brother-"

"Idiot brother!?"

"Yes, that's you."

"Okay, then how about Jeanette's bitchy sister stops simping for men who don't like her back!"

Brittany let out a gasp, then bit her lip. It wasn't the worst thing Alvin had ever said to her, but it did sting a little bit. "Fuck you. End of conversation." She stomped off and sat down in the other chair, crossing her arms and pouting like a child. Alvin just glared at her briefly before sinking back down to his position in between Jeanette and Simon.

 8:38 pm

 Theodore and Eleanor had just finished putting away the last of their mess, leaving a spotless counter. Eleanor wiped the last bit of sweat off her forehead and smiled proudly. "Great job, Theo. I say we deserve a nice little break with everyone while we wait for the pie."

"Yeah, making that pie was a lot of hard work!" Theodore agreed, chuckling and following Eleanor into the lounge room.

"Hey guys," Eleanor began as she entered. "The pie is baking right now, so it won't be too much longer." 

The blonde eyed her older sister in the chair, pouting like a toddler. Ah yes, my older mature sister she thought. She didn't wanna know what she and Alvin were arguing about, but it probably had something to do with Michael. What did these two NOT fight about? 

"Oh, that's lovely!" Jeanette smiled, desperate for any conversation to distract her from the current situation. "How long do you think it'll take?" she asked.

“Around 20 minutes” Eleanor replied. 

"That long!?" Alvin asked.

"Sorry Alvin, but we can't make it go any faster," Theodore shrugged apologetically.

"20 minutes isn’t even that long in my opinion," Eleanor added.

"I agree," Simon began. "So what should we do to pass the time?"

"Ooh!" Alvin began, clearly having an idea in mind (uh oh). "We can play actual Truth or Dare now, since we're all here!"

Brittany shook her head. "I know you're only going to try to get answers out of me, and I don't want to talk to you for the rest of night. I'm out."

"Me too. There is NO way I'm playing Truth or Dare, especially not with all of you," Simon agreed.

"Ugh, fine," Alvin gave in. "What do you suggest we do, then?"

Simon thought for a moment. "W-Well, I don't actually have an idea, but anything other than Truth or Dare will do," he answered.

Alvin gasped. "Even Mega Stick Battle?"

"NO!!!" Theodore and Simon shouted simultaneously.

"I don't want to know," Eleanor said.

Jeanette had no idea what 'Mega Stick Battle' was, but she had a strong feeling she also didn't want to know. "Uh, okay. What about Eye Spy?" she suggested.

Theodore gasped. "Yes! We used to play that ALL the time when we were younger!" he cheered.

"Eye spy? What are we, four!?" Alvin protested.

"I'll go first," Brittany interrupted. "I spy something loud, annoying, and wearing red."

"Haha, you're a comedic genius." 

"It appears you two are still mentally four," Simon groaned in irritation.

Brittany only stuck her tongue out at Alvin in response, but quickly retracted it after Simon's comment. 

"Okay Jeanette, how about you go first?" Eleanor offered. 

"Oh, okay then,” Jeanette replied. Her eyes darted around the room until they finally landed on something. "Uh, I spy, something with my little eye... that's brown."

"Is it the bullshit that I'm hearing about Michael?" Brittany asked.

"Okay, one more word about Michael and I'm burning the pie," Eleanor said.

Brittany rolled her eyes in response.

Simon sighed in annoyance. She really didn't quit. "Is it the couch?" he asked, peering past Alvin and to the purple-clad Chipette.

"Good guess, but no," Jeanette smiled.

"Is it the toaster?" Theodore queried. The toaster has some brown on it, doesn't it?

"No, Theodore, the toaster's in the kitchen," Jeanette giggled light-heartedly at his answer.

Simon stared into the distance as he was lost in thought. He had to think, if he was Jeanette, what would he notice the most? Then it hit him. "Oh, I know, it's the bookshelf isn't it?" Simon perked up, pointing at the bookshelf in the corner of the room.

Jeanette smiled, "Yes! You got it, Simon! Now it's your turn!" she cheered. It was normal for her to see the bright side in any situation, but even she knew that playing Eye Spy for 20 minutes, no matter the amount of enthusiasm she could muster would work in lifting the mood. She suppressed a sigh, why couldn't Alvin and Brittany just talk things out nicely?

"Right, I was gonna guess that too!" Alvin lied.

Sure he was, Simon thought to himself. He didn't want to play Eye Spy; the game was childish and not amusing to him. However, he knew it was much better than playing Truth or Dare with Alvin and Brittany around. "Okay. I spy, with my..." he began, but he really didn't want to continue. He let out a sigh, "I spy with my, little eye, something that's the color carnation."

"Um, Simon," Alvin began, a confused look appearing on his face. "What in carnation, is carnation?"

Simon was about to answer him when he heard Theodore burst out in laughter and repeat Alvin’s pun. God, I hope that pun was intended and not Alvin mistaking carnation for tarnation. “It’s a light rosy pink, Alvin,” Simon answered. 

“Oh, so like…..pretty much everything Brittany wears then,” Alvin said. Brittany squinted at him in response, but nothing came out of her mouth this time. He was on thin fucking ice, but it wasn’t enough to get her to start yelling at him again. 

“Yeah, I guess so, pink is her favorite color,” Simon began. “But it’s not related to her outfits.” 

“How about the curtains?” Eleanor asked. Ms. Miller had just recently switched them out, and they complimented the house really well. 

Simon looked over to the curtains, which he had certainly noticed earlier. “Yeah, actually. It seems Eleanor has guessed the correct answer,” he said smiling. 

“Heck yeah!” Eleanor shouted. “I didn’t actually expect that to be the right answer, haha.”

“Great job, Ellie!” Theodore said enthusiastically, congratulating her. “It’s your turn now,” he continued, smiling brightly. 

“Alright,” Eleanor began, scanning the room. “I think I got one. I spy with my little eye……something red.” 

“ME!” Alvin shouted.

“No.”

“Is it the rug?” Jeanette chimed in, looking pointedly at the circular rug on the floor.

Eleanor shook her head in response. 

Brittany looked up. “Is it the clock that I’ve been staring at for the past ten minutes waiting for this to be over?” 

“No, Brittany, it’s not the clock,” Eleanor replied, annoyed. Why did she have to be so rude about the game? 

“Maybe it’s the painting?” Theodore asked, referring to the old painting on the wall that had been there for years. 

“Getting warmer,” Eleanor said, eyeing the area below the painting. Sitting on the shelf right underneath it stood a vase with a couple of roses; a gift that Theodore had given her a few weeks ago. She couldn’t help but smile at them, waiting for someone to guess it correctly. 

Jeanette followed her sister’s gaze up to the spring-colored vase. Upon recognizing the roses, she felt her heart melt. How sweet! However, the brunette remained quiet. The romantic in her couldn’t but think about how lovely it would be if Theodore guessed the roses instead. It would be a wholesome reminder of their friendship. “Is it Ms. Miller’s doll?” She guessed, knowing the answer was incorrect. Jeanette pointed to said doll in its sparkly red dress, which sat right beside the vase. She was sure it had been on that shelf long before she was born, judging by the amount of dust it had collected. 

“You’re sooooo close!” Eleanor said, trying to aid the others in guessing her object. She kind of hoped Theodore in particular would notice, but she also knew he wasn’t exactly the most observant. 

It took a few moments for him to realize, but Theodore gasped when he finally did. “The roses! It’s the roses I gave you, isn’t it?” he exclaimed, sitting up with excitement. It had to be the roses, right? Unless he had missed something again…..

Eleanor smiled brightly at Theodore’s guess. “Yep!” 

As the object was unveiled, Brittany couldn’t help but feel a small pang in her chest. Was it jealousy? No. Well, maybe. She just wished someone would buy her roses, that was all. 

Alvin on the other hand rolled his eyes. “Gross,” he muttered to himself. 

Jeanette gave the chipmunk a small frown. Oh well, it didn’t really matter what Alvin thought, because she thought their little moment was adorable. “I guess it’s Theodore’s turn, huh?” she asked, glancing over to the younger and very happy chipmunk. 

Theodore was lost in thought about how Eleanor hadn’t forgotten about the roses he gave her and how she had taken care of them for so long, until Jeanette’s voice interrupted his train of thought. “H-Huh? O-Oh yeah, it’s my turn now!” he said. He chuckled, realizing he had accidentally tuned everyone out. “Hmmmm, I spy, with my little eye, some blue!” he decided. 

“Simon,” Alvin answered. 

“Are you ever going to answer with an actual object?” Eleanor asked. 

“Maybe,” Alvin replied. 

“Good guess, but it’s actually not Simon,” Theodore replied. 

“Is it the chair Brittany is sitting in?” Eleanor asked. 

“It is! You’re right again, Eleanor!” Theodore said, smiling. 

“Hah, two for two!” Eleanor exclaimed. 

Jeanette gasped. “Oh, Theodore! Do you remember back when you and I picked out that chair? Outside of the furniture store, there was that living statue! Remember when we took photos with him and your ice cream dropped?” she said, reminiscing on the bright memory. 

“Oh yeah, I remember when that happened!” Theodore replied, grinning. The part about his ice cream dropping was a little upsetting, but at least they got to go back for more in the end. “And then when he got scared by that cat, and he started running? He didn’t look much like a statue then!” he joked, causing the optimistic duo to erupt in giggles. 

Eleanor smiled at Theodore as he joked about his memory with Jeanette. Gosh he was so cute. 

“So how much longer til the pie is ready?” Alvin asked. 

Eleanor checked her phone. “About eight minutes left.” 

Simon sighed. “Well, if we’re stuck playing Eye Spy for another eight minutes, you might as well go ahead with your turn, Eleanor.”

“Are you guys not enjoying it?” Eleanor asked in response to Simon’s und enthusiastic comment. 

“No,” Alvin replied truthfully. 

“I-I mean no offense guys, b-but personally, it’s just…not really fun,” Simon added. 

Eleanor blinked. “Okay, let’s just wait the last minutes out then.” 

On one hand, Simon didn’t want to play Eye Spy anymore, but on the other, he didn’t want to sit silently with everyone until an inevitable argument started. He honestly couldn’t tell which was worse. He was conflicted and annoyed and he couldn’t make up his mind, so he quietly sunk into his seat. 

“So we’re really just gonna sit here in silence?” Alvin asked. He was starting to get very uncomfortable. 

Jeanette shuffled uneasily in her chair. “I-I mean, we could try and play another game?” she suggested in a quiet voice. “O-Or maybe we can just talk about something?” 

“There isn’t much we can do in eight minutes, but I’m sure we could start something and continue it with the pie,” Eleanor replied. 

“Okay, but now we need to figure out what to do,” Theodore added. 

“Ooh, let’s play Among Us,” Alvin suggested. 

“No,” Brittany replied.

“Aw, man! I really wanted to play,” Theodore said, pouting. 

“Actually, I might be down,” Eleanor said. “But that would be hard to play with a time limit. We can’t just pause the game to get the pie.”

“Shit, that’s a good point,” Alvin replied. 

The silence that followed after was extremely loud. Jeanette couldn’t handle the crushing weight of the awkward atmosphere, so she shot up of her seat. “I-I’m just gonna go uh, s-somewhere,” she announced before quickly leaving the room. 

Simon watched Jeanette leave, but not before getting up as well. “A-Actually, I think I’m gonna come with you,” he decided, leaving after her. Finally, an escape from all of whatever this was. 

Alvin eyed the two as they left. That was very suspicious, but Simon and Jeanette were prone to exhibiting weird behavior. “Okay……goodbye Jeanette and Simon.” 

“It’s only eight minutes….” Eleanor trailed off, a little concerned for her sister. 

“It’s okay guys, they were probably just nervous. Plus, eight minutes can be much longer than you think,” Theodore pointed out with a shrug. He in particular wasn’t worried at all. After all, he knew the two didn’t do well in awkward situations. “So, in the meantime, what should we do?” he asked the group of bored teenagers. 

Eleanor reluctantly went along with what Theodore said. At least Jeanette and Simon were together. 

“Well whatever it is, let’s hurry up! The pie is practically ready at this point,” Alvin replied. 

“Yeah, honestly, I’m just hungry,” Brittany continued. “Let’s just eat and then we can discuss what to do next.” 

Theodore glanced over at the clock. “Oh, you’re right! How about we go into the kitchen and watch the pie in the oven! Or we can pick out toppings for the pie!” He suggested. 

“Let’s go do that, Theo,” Eleanor added, taking his hand and guiding him with her back into the kitchen. 

Brittany watched as both of her sister left her alone…….AGAIN. WITH ALVIN. She bit her lip, hoping that the idiot would maybe get the hint that she did not want to talk to him. If she had to sit on her phone in silence for the next couple of minutes, she would do it. 

Well, this is awkward, Alvin thought to himself. He didn't expect his brothers to leave him alone again. With her. Alvin looked back over to Brittany and saw that she was on her phone, not even acknowledging that he existed. He rolled his eyes and just looked off in another direction, hoping this tension would go away as soon as the others came back. 

Miller Entrance, 8:50 pm

Jeanette let herself breathe out slowly as she made her way towards the front hall of her house. She felt bad for leaving everyone else back there, but she really couldn't take it anymore. Deep breaths, remember?

"Jeanette?"

She jumped in her skin at the sound of the voice. The frightened Chipette whirled around, but calmed down when she saw that it was only Simon.

"Simon!" Jeanette exclaimed, reaching for her heart. "You scared me!" she continued, sighing in relief.

The blue-clad chipmunk grinned sheepishly. "Sorry Jean, didn't mean to scare you. I just really didn't want to be stuck with the others in silence for another eight minutes," he explained.

Jeanette smiled empathetically, "Y-Yeah, sorry for leaving you back there. It was just so awkward," she added.

"No, it's alright, you gave me a chance to leave. And honestly, Eye Spy was boring but I wasn't trying to say I wanted to sit in silence for almost 10 minutes. I was only trying to suggest we do something else," Simon reasoned.

"Yeah, I know what you mean," she agreed. "Hey, but at least it wasn't Truth or Dare," Jeanette giggled.

Simon smiled in admiration at the sound of her giggling. "Definitely. While perhaps that would have been more entertaining, it definitely would have made everything more awkward," he replied. 

8:38 pm

After Eleanor successfully brought Theodore with her into the kitchen, she opened the oven and checked on the pie. "Looks like it's ready early! What do you think, Theo?"

“I think it looks delicious!" Theodore exclaimed, admiring the sight of the pie. It had finally baked to a golden perfection and he couldn't be more excited to eat.

"Alright!" Eleanor said, taking it out. She smiled as she placed it on the stove, smelling how warm and delicious it seemed to be. "Let's go tell everyone it's ready."

Theodore walked into the lounge room, almost vibrating with joy. It had been a while since he had made a pie, but it still came out looking perfect! "Hey guys, the pie's ready!" he announced.

"Thank god," Brittany and Alvin both said simultaneously, causing them to both look at each other. Brittany glared at Alvin, while Alvin seemed at first more perplexed, then angry that Brittany was angry. How was he supposed to know she was gonna say the same thing as him? 

"Come on guys, let's get to the dining room!" Theodore smiled, using the pie as a distraction once again.

Jeanette and Simon had been discussing a folder full of precious sentiments from a nearby shelf. Just as Simon was expressing his surprise at the fact that she'd kept the very first birthday card he gave her, when they were 8 years old, noisy footsteps were heard.

"Where's that coming from?" Simon asked, gently putting the folder back on the shelf.

"It sounds like they're heading to the dining room. I think the pie's ready," she replied. Hungry, the two of them made their way to join the others.

Eleanor brought the pie over to the dining room table and set it down in the middle. "There we go!" she exclaimed. 

Alvin and Brittany both entered the room right after each other and took their seats on opposite ends of the table. Not a word was said between either of them. 

Jeanette and Simon followed after the others. "Hey guys," Jeanette greeted. "I hope you didn't forget about us," she joked, earning a laugh out of Theodore. The two sat down next to each other, on the opposite side of the table they assumed Theodore and Eleanor would sit at. 

Once everyone was seated, Eleanor began slicing the pie. "Theo, since you helped bake it you get to pick the first piece."

"Awesome! Thanks, Ellie," Theodore grinned and gently took a slice from the cherry-blueberry pie. He couldn't believe how much better it looked on his plate!

Alvin eyed Theodore as he picked his slice. It was most likely the biggest piece, since Theodore always picked the biggest piece. 

"Who should go next, Theo?" Eleanor asked.

"Uh, have you ever heard of oldest first?" Alvin commented, crossing his arms. "Why are we playing this game anyway? Can't we just all grab a slice?"

"Alvin, just let Theodore pick. Eleanor and Theodore are the ones who made the pie, okay?" Simon pointed out.

"It's okay guys. Eleanor, Alvin can go next," Theodore smiled.

"Hey, that's my brother!" Alvin cheered as he got out of his chair. He eagerly reached for the next biggest slice and grabbed it quickly.

Not the route I was going, but okay Theodore.... Eleanor thought to herself. She had secretly wanted Alvin to be picked last just to see the look on his face. Maybe it could work with Brittany though…..

"Simon, why don't YOU get the next slice?" Eleanor said.

Brittany looked at her sister in confusion. Why did she pick Simon and not her? Weren’t they letting the oldest siblings go next just a few seconds ago? 

Simon was a little surprised Eleanor had suggested he go next when it seemed more logical for Brittany to be next, but he didn't mind. "Sure, thanks," Simon replied before leaning over and taking the slice closest to him.

Eleanor looked at Theodore to say the next person, who she hoped would be Jeanette since she had just said Simon. This is what happens when you bitch at us for trying to give you advice, she thought to herself, trying not to giggle.

Alvin tried to stifle his laughter as he watched Brittany react. It was so stupid, just a pie taking order, yet a lot was said with Eleanor's actions. He would have to give her a high-five after this one.

Theodore finally managed to stop admiring his pie and noticed everyone waiting for him. "O-Oh sorry, guys," Theodore apologized before quickly scanning the room. What had just happened? Oh yeah, Eleanor told Simon to get a slice of pie, so now he had to say who would be next. His immediate thought was Jeanette because that's who he often associated with Simon. "Um, Jeanette can go next," he blurted out. Once Jeanette thanked him and got her slice, he felt a huge wave of relief. Theodore really didn't like being under pressure, even if it was just a little bit.

Eleanor smiled, knowing very well that her sister was about to lose it. "I'll have a piece for myself now," she said, grabbing the second to last piece. 

Okay, now this was a personal attack. Brittany's mouth opened a little, processing the fact that her little sister was fucking with her on purpose. She's lucky that I don't feel like arguing right now she thought, resorting to just biting her lip and clenching her fist below the table. 

Alvin was on the verge of erupting into laughter, covering his mouth as he shook in his seat. The expression on Brittany's face was fucking priceless, and he couldn't wait to see what Eleanor had planned next.

"Alright, let's eat!" Eleanor chimed, sitting down.

"Finally, I'm starving!" Theodore cheered, picking up his silver utensils.

Brittany's mouth opened even more somehow. She was livid. "Oh, so we're just going to forget about me, are we?"

Alvin was living for this shit. The show was about to begin...

Jeanette's head snapped over to Brittany's direction. To her surprise, there was no pie on her plate. Oh no, we forgot about Brittany! She thought. Wait no, why did Alvin and Eleanor appear to be holding in smiles? Then it hit her. Jeanette could be a little slow sometimes, especially when it came to recognizing not-so-nice intentions. They're gonna argue again, aren't they?

"Sorry Brittany, I didn't even notice!" Jeanette said, awkwardly laughing. "Guys, let's give Brittany her slice, yeah?"

"Oh my, so sorry about that Britt," Eleanor said sarcastically. She then handed over Brittany's slice, wondering if the older Chipette was going to continue this any further. 

Brittany took the slice in angry silence and didn't say a word after. She didn't know why Eleanor was messing with her, but she also wasn't going to be the one to start anything, because she knew that then everything would be pinned onto her.

Jeanette sighed in relief. They could just have a calm and peaceful dinner with the boys. Their first civil interaction of the day, hopefully. "O-Okay, now let's just eat."

Alvin couldn't keep it in anymore. He burst into a raging fit of uncontrollable laughter, nearly hyperventilating over his pie at his end of the table. "I'm sorry.........I can't........breathe!" he spoke in between giggles, hunching over as his episode continued. "It's just her face! So priceless....."

Jeanette didn't want to be a part of the conflict that would follow, so she quickly stuffed her face with pie. No one could make her a part of it if she was eating, right?

"Oh, grow up, Alvin," Simon rolled his eyes. "Can't you three just eat?"

Brittany tightened her grip on her fork, trying hard to not let her rage boil this time. She could feel herself heating up, but this would not be the moment that set her off. Not over......pie! 

"Sorry Brittany," Eleanor began, trying to ease the situation a little. "I was just getting back at you for earlier. Petty stuff, I know. Let's just eat and have a nice meal!" 

Alvin attempted to regain his composure, wiping a tear from his face as he resumed eating. However, Brittany's clear rage was absolutely sending him. This was going to be quite a meal...

Theodore was glad they weren't fighting anymore, but honestly, he had tuned it all out as he ate his pie. He and Eleanor had really outdone themselves this time! It was DELICIOUS! Well, Theodore thought most foods were delicious, but he had already eaten half of his slice.

Another chuckle escaped Alvin.

Brittany snapped, shoving her fork into her pie. "What the FUCK IS SO FUNNY?" she shouted, standing up and slamming her hands onto the table. 

Eleanor jumped a little. 

Alvin stopped laughing for a second, but as soon as he saw Brittany's irritated face he couldn't help but start laughing again.

Simon groaned and slouched down in his seat. Upon noticing Jeanette about to fork another huge chunk of pie into her already full mouth, he stopped her hand, "Jeanette! Careful, you might choke!" he whispered in concern. Oh god, this was not going to be a good dinner. How he envied Theodore, happily sitting in his seat and eating his delicious pie. Simon had only taken a single bite so far. 

"Britt, don't you th-" 

"HE'S STILL LAUGHING!" Brittany shouted, interrupting Eleanor. 

"B.....because...." Alvin began, still losing it. "You're mad over pie! Pie!"

"And you guys are arguing over pie!" Simon interjected, visibly irritated. "And Alvin, don't act like you wouldn't be mad if you it was you, instead! I know you would!"

"Ah, you don't know shit Simon," Alvin argued. 

"I'm not mad over pie," Brittany started, placing her hands on her hips. "I'm mad because ELEANOR thought it would be funny to pretend I don't exist, and then Alvin of course laughs whenever I get mad because he loves seeing me miserable!"

"Woah woah woah," Eleanor replied. "It was just a little joke, Britt. Besides, I apologized, okay? We're done arguing."

"Guys, let's just forget about this and eat the pie. Okay? You were all waiting so long for it, now don't take it for granted. Look at Theodore! He's happy because he's simply eating, we should try that," Simon reasoned. Simon didn't even wait for a reply, he simply took another bite of pie and continued eating.

"Well I would LIKE to forget, Simon, but someone keeps laughing at me like an asshole."

"Not my fault your dramatic reaction is hilarious," Alvin replied coldly. 

Eleanor decided to ignore it and continued eating. It'll end eventually....

Theodore was 3 quarters done with his pie. He looked up and noticed something off in the atmosphere. Did I tune them out again?  he wondered. It looked like Alvin and Brittany were still a little mad at each other, but everyone else was just ignoring them. Well yeah, it wasn't like they could argue forever. They had to stop at one point.... right? 

Brittany huffed. "This is what I mean! He loves seeing me upset. How evil." 

"Y-yup," Alvin chortled back, "I'm practically satan himself. We all know this."

We do Simon thought, rolling his eyes. Honestly, they fought like children. Maybe if they were just eating, like everyone else, they wouldn't have to debate their childish matters at the table.

"Don't be a smartass," Brittany continued.

"But I thought I was an asshole?" 

The noise that came out of Brittany next was unintelligible.

Jeanette hated conflict. Full of nervous energy in fear that one of them was about to explode, she accidentally dropped her fork on the floor. She gasped and picked it up before bolting out of her chair. Before she left for the kitchen she looked back and said, "S-Sorry! I REALLY need to wash this! It's super dirty!" and with that, she hurried out of the room. 

"Great, you guys made Jeanette leave," Eleanor said grumpily, standing up. "I guess I sorta ruined dessert, didn't I?"

Simon stopped glaring at Alvin and Brittany and looked to Eleanor. Yeah, you sorta did, he thought. He knew Eleanor had caused them to argue, but he didn't want to say that.

"I'm gonna go help Jeanette clean off the fork so I can get away from you people," Brittany grumbled, leaving the room.

"Ohhhhh, okay," Alvin replied snarkily. He was a little guilty about Jeanette leaving, but he could care less than Brittany was upset. This whole argument was stupid anyway.

Eleanor shook her head and sat back down.

Theodore frowned. Why couldn't everyone just eat pie?

8:54 pm

Jeanette slowed down her pace upon approaching the kitchen. She didn't really need to clean the fork, she just need a break from all the petty arguments. But, she still needed to clean it a little. So she got a little soap and a little water and washed off all the remains of the pie and any germs that might have been there. The water gently washing over her hands was relaxing in a way.

Not too long after, Brittany entered the kitchen as well. She had no intention of going over to Jeanette. Honestly, she just needed to go somewhere to calm down so that she didn't do something stupid. "Deep breaths Brittany, deep breaths......" she said, trying to hold herself together. Part of her hoped Jeanette would let her be, but another also hoped she would help her out.

Jeanette noticed her sister Brittany enter. She really hoped Brittany wouldn't ask her why she left the table, because she honestly didn't want to explain, but after finishing washing the spoon, she noticed something. Brittany looked... troubled. Very slowly, she calmly approached her older sister. "You alright, Brittany?" she asked in a quiet and gentle tone.

"Am I alright!?" Brittany asked, fuming. "I'm furious! Frustrated! I'm......." 

Brittany knew this feeling all too well. Her emotions were being played with to the point where they all came out at the same time in a fiery explosion, causing her to freak out and blow up at people. "I'm sorry......" she trailed off, leaning against the counter. "Alvin just......he pisses me off so much! And I.......I didn't mean to upset you."

Jeanette had gotten a little scared when her sister got mad, but she knew she couldn't help it. She rubbed her sister's back as a comforting gesture. "It's okay Brittany, I know this isn't your fault. W-We all get mad sometimes, a-and the others were being really mean to you back there. Don't worry about me, I just needed a little breather," she gave a small smile. "Speaking of breathing, how about we both take some deep breaths?" Jeanette offered.

Brittany nodded. She didn't like to admit it, but Jeanette's breathing exercises really did help her a lot.

9:01 pm

"I should make this right," Eleanor said, getting back up. "I'll be back."

Alvin just sat in awkward silence. What the hell was going on? All of this over pie???? Seriously????

So now all the Chipettes had left. Simon looked over to Theodore. "How are you enjoying the pie, Theodore?" he asked with a smile. There was more to conversation than arguing, and Simon knew that. 

Theodore smiled at his brother. "It was delicious! W-Well, I know I helped make it, but I think combining cherries and blueberries was a great decision!" he exclaimed.

"I agree," Simon added. Although he couldn't help but notice the irony of his statement. Having cherry and blueberry in one pie might've been good but having Alvin and Brittany in one room was not. Perhaps it all came down to how the pie was prepared and treated before baking? Well, Alvin and Brittany prior to the dinner had been arguing nonstop, so that made sense. Simon sighed. He couldn't believe he was using food to explain real life situations to himself. That was something Theodore would do. But he wasn't wrong, either.

Eleanor peeked into the kitchen and noticed her sisters breathing together. Thank god, she thought. Jeanette was always there to save the day, wasn't she???

After a minute or so, Jeanette and Brittany had calmed down a significant amount. Jeanette was glad to see her sister look more peaceful. "Great job Brittany, you calmed yourself down, even though you were really mad. That's not always a very easy thing to do," Jeanette congratulated her, sincerely. 

"Hey," Eleanor interrupted. She awkwardly walked in and positioned herself beside her sisters. "I'm sorry about earlier. Really."

Brittany looked away from her youngest sister at first, but sighed and gave in quickly. "It's fine," she replied. "I suppose I was mean to you earlier with the whole Michael situation. Maybe I deserved it."

Jeanette smiled, happy her sisters were making up. "Hey, you didn't really deserve it, Brittany. I get why you didn't want to listen to Eleanor, it's hard to change our perception of people. But also, Eleanor didn't deserve you being mean about it. But that's all okay now, we're sisters, we're going to argue sometimes, but we'll always get through it," Jeanette comforted.

Eleanor smiled. "Jeanette's right," she said. "You didn't deserve it. It was a mean joke. Sisters?"

Brittany smiled back. "Sisters."

Jeanette felt all warm and happy. She loved when the conflict had a happy ending.  "So, what should we do now?" she asked.

"Shall we go back?" Eleanor asked. 

Brittany shook her head. "I need a little more time if that's okay. I just......can't be around him right now!"

Jeanette understood what she meant. "That's okay Brittany, we understand."

"Yeah, I didn't intend to have him egg you on like that," Eleanor added. "He really needs to read the room sometimes."

Jeanette nodded. It was true, Alvin really could push too far sometimes, especially when it came to Brittany. Actually... she felt pretty bad for Brittany. She had Simon, Eleanor had Theodore, but Alvin and Brittany didn't get along, yet they were always stuck with each other. How hadn't she noticed before?? "Oh, Brittany. I'm so sorry we always split up and leave you with Alvin. I promise to make sure to stay with you more," Jeanette assured her. They were sisters, they had to stick together. 

Brittany had noticed that she was being left alone with Alvin a lot, but she didn't realize it was.......that obvious. Whenever she thought about it, it really sucked actually. She noticed her sisters getting closer to their Chipmunk counterparts, and in more recent times even.......romantically. The roses from Theodore? Simon and Jeanette having deep conversations with each other? She envied it. She envied it so much, and all she thought she would have was Michael, who was now taken. "It's.........okay," Brittany lied. "I can't stand him, but he can't hurt me." Also a lie, but she didn't need her sisters worrying about her.

"Are you sure you want us to leave you alone in here?" Eleanor asked, raising a brow.

"Yeah. We really love spending time with you, Brittany. But more importantly, we want to make sure you're okay," Jeanette added.

Brittany sighed. "I think I'll be fine. Maybe we should all go back together."

"Okay, but only if you're comfortable," Jeanette replied.

"Right," Eleanor added.

"I'll be fine, guys," Brittany reassured. In all honesty, that was more for herself than her sisters. If Alvin started laughing at her when she walked back in, she wouldn't know what to do.

As the Chipettes reentered the dining room, Alvin perked up. He had pretty much finished his pie at this point, signifying just how long they had taken. For real?????

Simon was simply glad they seemed to be calmer than before. "Hey girls, glad you're back," he smiled sincerely. Hopefully Alvin wouldn't mess this up.

Eleanor smiled and took her seat next to Theodore. "We are too," she replied. 

Brittany quietly got back into her seat.

Jeanette sat down and looked at her plate. She was almost done with her pie. She got out her fork to continue eating but- "Oh my gosh!!! I forgot my fork!!" Jeanette gasped, before quickly running back into the kitchen.

Simon laughed in a light-hearted manner. Oh, Jeanette. He smiled.

Alvin chuckled a little as well. Okay, he was over it. For now.

A moment later, Jeanette was back. "S-Sorry about that, guys," she stuttered. She hadn't intended to announce it to all the room either.

"It's okay Jeanette", Eleanor reassured.

Upon hearing the others hum in agreement, Jeanette smiled. Hopefully, her face wasn't too pink. She often blushed when she was embarrassed, when she was nervous, and when she received compliments too. She hated it. "Thanks, guys," she said as she smiled and returned to eating the rest of her pie. 

Theodore scanned the room. Brittany didn't seem to have eaten a lot of her pie. Usually, he would've felt a tiny bit disappointed, especially since he chose the flavors specifically for Alvin and her. But he knew it wasn't because of the pie, she was just feeling emotional that night. I guess pie can't fix everything, he thought. He frowned a little. 

Jeanette was grateful Simon had decided to take the seat closest to Alvin, which meant she could sit near Brittany. She leaned over and whispered, "Brittany? Do you feel like eating?"

"Honestly? No." Brittany replied. "I've lost my appetite.

Alvin's nosy ass was wondering what the two sisters were talking about, but he couldn't hear a word they were saying. Was it about him?

"Oh, okay, Brittany. But do you think you might be able to eat later? I don't want you to be hungry," Jeanette didn't want to press any further, but it came from a place of concern.

"I'll probably be fine," Brittany replied. "Thank you though, sis."

"It's no problem, Brittany," Jeanette smiled.

"Anyone have empty plates?" Eleanor asked.

"I do!" Theodore cheered, smiling. 

"Yeah, Jeanette and I too," Simon added.

Alvin quietly pushed his plate towards Eleanor.

"Alright," Eleanor said, grabbing the empty plates. "I'll be right back."

"You can have mine too, Ellie," Brittany said, handing her sister her plate as she walked by. 

Eleanor grabbed it, although she was concerned that her sister had barely touched her piece, she understood why and decided to not question her. 

"Okay, Ellie," Theodore began. "So, how did you guys like the pie?" he continued. 

"Oh it was fantastic," Alvin replied.

"Yeah! You and Eleanor did a great job," Jeanette added, smiling warmly at Theodore.

Simon simply hummed in agreement and smiled at his brother.

Brittany simply didn't answer. She didn't feel like talking at the moment.

Theodore was happy to know everyone liked the pie. He noticed Brittany didn't answer, but he didn't mind. He just hoped she was alright. "Thanks, guys!" he grinned.

"So, what do you guys feel like doing now?" Jeanette asked the group.

"Honestly, I'm probably gonna head back and play some video games," Alvin replied. "We're going back, right?"

"Yeah. It's been a lovely night with you girls, but we should probably go home," Simon agreed.

Thank god, Brittany thought.

Eleanor soon came back and noticed that the Chipmunks seemed to be getting ready to leave. "Oh, is it late?" she asked, checking her phone. "Oh wow, it is! I didn't realize it was already past 9:00."

Jeanette loved hanging out with the boys, and she was sad to see them go, but she also couldn't help but feel relieved. There had been too much arguing prior to and during the meeting. She had been so confused and a tiny bit annoyed that Eleanor had invited them over in the first place. But things turned out alright, and that was the most important thing, of course. Plus, there had been some good moments. Like when she talked to Simon... and Theodore, too, of course. She also enjoyed conversing with Alvin earlier on. Oh, and there was that moment with her sisters in the kitchen! Jeanette smiled, that was her favorite part of the night. "Yeah, I didn't notice the time either," Jeanette chuckled, as she helped the boys get their stuff. 

"Peace out, Chipettes," Alvin said, taking his cap off briefly before putting it back on and heading towards the door. 

Brittany rolled her eyes as the gesture. She just couldn't wait for him to leave. 

"Bye guys! Get home safe," Eleanor cheered.

"Thanks, Eleanor! Bye, girls!" Theodore said as he and Simon waved, leaving the house.

Brittany let out a huge sigh if relief that she didn't know she was holding.

"Well... I guess they're gone now," Jeanette said.

"Yup," Eleanor added.

Slick Six >:), 9:20 pm

Eleanor: Thank you boys for coming over! We had a nice time with you tonight😊

Simon: No problem, Eleanor! Thanks for inviting us. My brothers are getting ready for bed right now, but on their behalf, we had a nice time too :) 

Eleanor: Good to hear!

Chapter Text

Alvin very eagerly walked out of the Chipette’s house and onto the sidewalk. He had to get out of there after all of that tension with Brittany, and he really didn’t want to sit through another game of something like Eye-Spy. 

Simon let out a sigh as he walked in between Alvin and Theodore. “That was……….something,” he decided. 

“Tell me about it,” Alvin replied. 

“Y-yeah, even I have to admit that wasn’t our best dessert. Well, at least we’ll be home soon!With our video games, our TV, our bed and Dave!” Theodore cheered, lighting up. 

“Right idea, Theo,” Alvin replied, smiling back. 

Soon, the Seville brother were back home. Quite frankly, Simon couldn’t have been more relieved to be in the comfort of his own house, without the Chipettes. He was used to his brother arguing with the oldest Chipette, but that didn’t make it any less annoying for draining each time. Alvin and Brittany fought almost every time they visited each other, but it was usually more lighthearted with the occasional real fight every now and then. He put in his key and opened the door. “Alright, guys, we’re home,” Simon announced. 

“Fuck yeah,” Alvin said, entering the house. “Videogame time!” 

Theodore watched as his brother ran towards his console. “Well, I’m a little tired, so I think I’m gonna go to sleep a little earlier tonight,” Theodore decided. Making that pie was tiring enough, but having to listen to everyone argue was even more draining. 

“Sure, Theo,” Simon said, smiling as he followed Theodore into the house and locked the door behind him. 

“Fellas!” Dave greeted, giving his boys a huge smile. 

“Hey Dave!” Theodore cheered, greeting his dad back with the same amount of enthusiasm that he always did. 

"Hey Dave," Alvin replied quickly. He loved his adoptive father, but he hoped this conversation wouldn't last too long.

"So boys, how was it with the Millers?" Dave asked. "Did you tell Ms Miller I said 'hi'?"

God dammit.

Simon, noticing both his brothers were tired, answered for them. "It was okay, Dave," he smiled. "But Ms. Miller wasn't there, she might have been asleep.”

"Awh, well then don't worry about it, boys," Dave replied. "Just make sure to wash your hands and get ready for bed, soon!"

"Okay, Dave!" Theodore replied before heading to the bathroom.

Finally. "Night," Alvin quickly said before heading upstairs as well.

Simon went to the kitchen to wash his hands. Better safe than sorry when it came to germs, right? Soon after, he followed his brothers upstairs. "Goodnight Dave!"

Monday, October 3rd 

Slick Six >:), 8:13 am

Alvin: Yo someone help me out here 

Theodore: What’s wrong Alvin?

Alvin:

Alvin: Preferably Simon or Jeanette since they know this stuff 

Alvin: I forgot to study I don’t know what I’m doing

Simon: Alvin, why do you have your phone out in class??

Simon: And NO, we’re not helping you cheat!!

Alvin: BECAUSE I NEED HELP THAT’S WHY

Brittany: Someone report him

Simon: HOW HASN’T THE TEACHER NOTICED?

Alvin: It’s Mr. French he doesn’t notice anything

Alvin: I managed to throw 10 paper airplanes before he called me out 

Alvin: 10!!!

Theodore: WOAH! 10??😱

Jeanette: Wait, is “Mr. French” his real name?

Eleanor: He’s talking about Mr. Boudreaux 

Jeanette: Ah, I see. That makes more sense.

Alvin: Listen I can’t spell or pronounce it French is easier 

Simon: Still, we’re not helping you cheat. Sorry Alvin. 

Alvin: Come on Si PLEASE!

Alvin: I will literally pay you 

Simon: You could literally not pay me enough.

Simon: No amount of money will suffice. 

Theodore: I can help! 

Theodore: I think question 1’s answer is B!

Alvin: Theodore no offense but I don’t think you can 

Eleanor: Don’t underestimate him Alvin 

Eleanor: Also Theodore stop helping him cheat 

Theodore: Oh yeah I forgot about that oops!

Jeanette: Yeah, but good luck on your test, Alvin!! 

Alvin: WHY 

Alvin: Oh shit I think he saw mesdlfjkpsdf

Simon: Of course he fucking did! 

Brittany: Oop

Theodore: Quick, get off your phone!!!!

Eleanor: He’s offline 

Eleanor: I wonder what happened but at the same time I don’t care 

Simon: Yup, I know how you feel.

Brittany: I hope his phone got confiscated 

Simon: It was stupid of him to be on his phone trying to cheat during a test, but I still hope Mr. Boudreaux isn’t TOO mad at him. 

Brittany: One day without Alvin texting me? Please…..

Jeanette: Wait, he makes the effort to text you every day???

Jeanette: Also, don’t you usually just block him?

Brittany: I meant in this chat

Jeanette: Oh, that makes sense.

Brittany: But you’re right, blocking him is always fun 

Jeanette: I wish I had someone to text me every day :(

Jeanette: But with a nice text message of course! 

Theodore: Me too!

Theodore: Maybe we can do that for each other, Jeanette?

Eleanor: ???

Eleanor: Hello????

Jeanette: Yeah, Ellie?

Eleanor: Theodore that was one time I forgot to text you good morning 

Eleanor: You really won’t let me live it down huh?

Theodore: It was a very important day! :((

Eleanor: I’M SORRY 

Theodore: It’s okay, Ellie! I’m just joking!😆

Eleanor: Okay phew 

Jeanette: WAIT YOU GUYS DO THAT??? That’s ADORABLE!!!!!!

Eleanor: Yup! Every day

Brittany: So Theodore gets a good morning test but I don’t? 

Brittany: A crime 

Jeanette: I don’t usually get jealous but this is an exception :(

Eleanor: What..

Jeanette: Yeah!

Eleanor: I see you both in the morning 

Brittany: Ugh, not from you Eleanor 

Brittany: I mean like, in general 

Eleanor: Oh 

Jeanette: Yeah, of course! But not a text from you, no offense, Ellie 

Jeanette: We get to see you every day :)

Brittany: This is why I need a boyfriend 

Jeanette: Me too😭

Brittany: Shit why am I texting this when the chipmunks are in it 

Brittany: Ignore me ugh 

Simon: Wait, is this actually a thing people do?

Simon: Good morning texts?

Eleanor: Yeah?

Theodore: Yeah, of course! Sometimes good night ones! 

Jeanette: Mhm! It’s really sweet 🥰

Simon: Oh. Well this is my first time hearing of this

Simon: So like, how does it work? 

Simon: Is this something best friends do, or partners, or associates? 

Eleanor: It’s pretty self-explanatory Simon 

Eleanor: Anyone can do it 

Simon: Ah, I see. 

Simon: Well, I guess we really do learn something new every day. 

Alvin: Hi I’m back 

Alvin: French man took my phone 

Alvin: But he gave it back so we good 

Theodore: Oh, phew! 

Theodore: I’m glad he didn’t tell Dave!

Alvin: RIGHT 

Simon: You’re lucky you got your phone back, Alvin. Now don’t do something stupid like that again! 

Alvin: Cannot guarantee that Simon

Alvin:  He didn’t know I took a photo of the test 

Simon: Oh my god 

Brittany: Ugh 

Simon: I don’t expect you to, honestly. 

Brittany: I can’t believe you got away with it

Jeanette: Yeah, imagine looking up from your desk and seeing a kid with his phone out just TEXTING someone??

Alvin: Honestly I wouldn’t care 

Eleanor: That’s because you’re not a teacher 

Alvin: Whatever

Simon: Exactly. And it’s also because you ARE that kid. 

Alvin: Haha yeah 

Theodore: It’s okay, guys! At least Dave didn’t find out! 

Brittany: Hmmmm should I tell him?

Alvin: You wouldn’t 

Simon: Don’t, Brittany. 

Brittany: You sure about that? 

Alvin: Brittany I swear to god 

Simon: Come on, it’s not that big of a deal 

Alvin: I’ll tell Michael you like him

Eleanor: Oh jeez

Simon: Aaaand there it is. 

Brittany: Fine

Brittany: Don’t even think about doing that btw 

Alvin: Lol ofc not 

Brittany: Uhuh

Jeanette: Well, that’s all settled! :)

Jeanette: I hope you guys have had a good day so far! 

Alvin: Besides this test that I totally failed it’s been pretty good 

Theodore: Yeah! I have! Catherine let me pet her dog this morning! :D

Eleanor: Awww! I love Scruffy 

Jeanette: Aw, that’s nice, Theodore! :)

Theodore: Yeah! He’s the cutest, isn’t he? 

Simon: Definitely an adorable dog, Theodore.

Brittany: That thing? Cute? 

Theodore: Of course! 

Theodore: Who wouldn’t think Scruffy’s cute? Even Simon does!😆

Brittany: It’s a gross smelly dog, absolutely not 

Eleanor: Brittany all dogs are kinda smelly 

Eleanor: Even French Poodles 

Brittany: Well at least French poodles don’t look like they smell 

Theodore: Scruffy is SUPER cute!!!

Theodore: He’s like, the cutest dog ever!!!

Alvin: Scruffy’s a good boy 

Alvin: Brittany’s just a hater 

Theodore: Yeah! >:( 

Brittany: I don’t understand you all 

Eleanor: I don’t understand how someone could look at a dog and not love it but I guess we are two different people on that regard 

Brittany: Okay 

*Sister Squad*, 11:09 am

Brittany: Ugh guess who I saw today 

Jeanette: Who? 

Brittany: Audrey and Michael! 

Eleanor: Let me guess, Audrey and- yup

Jeanette: Oh…

Brittany: Ugh it’s like they’re rubbing it in 

Brittany: I am NOT looking forward to lunch 

Jeanette: Why not?

Eleanor: You can’t just ignore them? 

Brittany: It’s not that simple 

Brittany: Audrey always sits at the table next to us 

Brittany: So she will more than likely bring Michael with her 

Jeanette: Oh….

Brittany: Which means I have to aghhsdkfhosdfjdf

Eleanor: Brittany oh my god 

Jeanette: Wait, can’t you just look the other way? Or sit somewhere else? 

Brittany: If we change tables she’ll ask me what’s up and then she might tell him 

Eleanor: Oh righhhht okay yup 

Brittany: Listen, these are the rules of highschool 

Brittany: I have to pretend like everything’s fine and I need your help 

Eleanor: How do you expect us to help you?

Brittany: Idk stop me from losing it? 

Jeanette: Can’t you just go to the library instead?

Brittany: The LIBRARY? 

Jeanette: I mean…….yeah? 

Eleanor: Jeanette, this is Brittany we’re talking about

Brittany: I’m not a fucking loser Jeanette I don’t go to the library to eat

Jeanette: I go to the library to eat, Brittany :(

Brittany: What, why? 

Brittany: Jeanette we are right there to eat with you everyday

Eleanor: Have you considered that sometimes Jeanette wants to? 

Brittany: Uh why would you willingly eat in the library 

Jeanette: Well, when we were younger, the girls at your table weren’t exactly nice. 

Brittany: What? 

Jeanette: You don’t know this? 

Eleanor: Throwback to when they told me to eat a salad instead of a ham sandwich 

Jeanette: Oh yeah, that was awful! 

Brittany: Okay that was uncalled for but I yelled at them for it! 

Eleanor: And then they did it again, just not while you were around 

Eleanor: Whatever Britt this is besides the point 

Brittany: They did? 

Brittany: Why didn’t you tell me this? 

Eleanor: Well you kept hanging out with them after the first time so I figured you didn’t care 

Eleanor: I think that’s a fair assumption 

Brittany: Eleanor that is such bs ofc I care 

Brittany: Look I know I was bad in middle school and was obsessed with being popular so I made horrible friends but I’m not like that anymore! 

Eleanor: Which is why you’re friends with Audrey 

Brittany: Um no 

Brittany: Audrey is friends with me bc I’m popular get the facts straight Eleanor 

Eleanor: Okay 

Eleanor: I’m not arguing 

Eleanor: Sit with us at lunch, but don’t you dare make a scene 

Brittany: Like I said, that’s what you guys are for 

Brittany: To help me not do that 

Eleanor: Okay 

To: Jeanette 💜, 11:30 am 

Eleanor: She’s acting irrational again what do we do 

Jeanette: I’m honestly not sure, Ellie. I don’t like encouraging lying, but I don’t want to be Brittany’s anger management all lunch. She could just make a simple excuse as to why she moved tables and Audrey would probably believe it. She’s just going to end up embarrassing herself and us. 

Eleanor: Right! 

Eleanor: I might consider moving tables and having her figure out where she wants to sit bc I’m not dealing with this

To Theo 💚, 11:36 am

Eleanor: Hey Theo, just letting you know that we’re switching up the seating for lunch today 

Eleanor: Make sure to tell your brother so they don’t get confused

Theodore: Wait, what do you mean? 

Eleanor: There’s some tension going on between Brittany and Audrey so we’re moving tables to avoid it 

Theodore: Ohh okay! Thanks for letting me know😃

Eleanor: Ofc! 

Da Bros >:), 11:38 am 

Theodore: Hey guys! The chipettes are moving tables for lunch today! 

Alvin: What why? 

Theodore: They don’t want to sit there today

Alvin: Uh asking again 

Alvin: Why?

Theodore: I don’t know why 🤷

Theodore: They just wanted to tell me to tell you guys 

Alvin: What? 

Alvin: Okay fine I guess 

Alvin: Weird though 

Simon: Alright, thanks for letting us know, Theodore!

Theodore: You’re welcome! :)

Cafeteria, 11:42 am 

Eleanor had picked the perfect table to sit at for lunch, far far away from any possible drama that could occur if they were anywhere close to Audrey and Michael. If the plan worked out, Brittany would notice everyone sitting somewhere else and be forced to make a decision. If she decided to sit with them, perfect! Everyone would have a normal lunch with no distractions. She wanted to keep her spot next to Audrey? Fine by her, because she wouldn't have to deal with any of the chaos. This was the best plan for the situation...

Theodore was next to enter the Cafeteria. It didn't take long before he noticed Eleanor waving to him from their new spot. It was a table super far away from their old one! He hadn't even noticed his brother a few feet away and with a big smile on his face, made his way over to Eleanor's table.

"Hey!" Eleanor greeted as her "friend" sat down across from her. "Thankfully you found me. I hope the same goes for everyone else."

Alvin was super confused as to why the Chipettes wanted to move tables, but he supposed he would just have to ask later. As he entered the cafeteria, he searched for the new location they would be having lunch in.

Simon didn't really know why the Chipettes wanted to move tables, but he didn't care either. He spotted Eleanor and Theodore pretty quickly. They were quite a few tables away from their usual one, but as he looked more at it, he noticed Brittany's friend Audrey walk to the one beside it. Wait, the same girl that was dating Michael, Brittany's supposed crush? Ohh. Simon shrugged it off. It didn't matter to him anyway. He looked to his left and saw his brother a few people away. "Hey Alvin, I think we're sitting over there," Simon called, pointing to the table before making his way over. 

Alvin was looking around aimlessly and confused when he heard his younger brother's voice from the side. "Oh," he replied, perking up and turning his gaze towards the new table. "Haha, thanks Si," he said, walking over to the table and sitting down.

Simon sat down next to Alvin, who had sat next to Theodore. "Hey guys," he greeted, before getting out his lunch. 

Theodore, who was eating his food, but still wanted to greet his brothers, enthusiastically waved to them.

"Hi Simon, Alvin," Eleanor replied, getting out her lunch. She waited for Jeanette to arrive, who she assumed would be there before Brittany. She knew her oldest sister was somewhere in the bathroom retouching her makeup (since obviously everyone in the cafeteria was going to be looking at her constantly, ya know?), so Brittany was surely to be last as usual.

Jeanette walked into the school's cafeteria. There's a lot of people here... she thought.  Why did that surprise her? There was always a lot of people. She saw the new table from afar; Eleanor had picked a good place, but the only problem was that it was very far away. Carefully, she made her way through the crowd. She accidentally bumped into a few people on the way, and while some of them were nice when she said "sorry”, others just scoffed at her. Finally, she made it to the table. "Hi guys!" she said, smiling. She was about to take her usual seat across from Simon when she realized something. If she sat across from him, poor Brittany would be left right across from Alvin. They'd have to look at each other all lunch, and they'd probably argue sooner or later. Brittany was under enough stress with Audrey and Michael, so that probably wasn’t a good idea.

Simon had expected Jeanette to sit across from him as usual, but she sat across from Alvin and took out her lunch. Sure, they had all been friends with each other since they were little, but the group had a consistent theme of pairing up with the chipmunk/chipette most similar to them. So it was odd, but he figured he knew why. 

Alvin was a little thrown off when Jeanette sat across from him. Usually she sat across from Simon, since they were the closest, yeah? Did something happen? Wait, why did he care? It's not like it affected him at all, right? 

Girl’s Bathroom, 11:48 am

Brittany had just finished reapplying her mascara. Once she was finally satisfied with her appearance, the ponytailed chipette exited the bathroom and entered the cafeteria to begin walking towards her table. However, it didn't take her too long to realize that something was wrong. None of her sisters or the Chipmunks were there. "Huh?" she asked herself out loud, looking around. Brittany then spotted them all at a different table, this one very far from their old. Far from Audrey and........ugh. Did they seriously do this without her? After she specifically said that she didn't want to make a scene? Were her sisters trying to make her look like an idiot!? 

Brittany looked back towards the table where her bestfriend was, giggling flirtaciously at the boy that she wanted. Immediately, a spark of anger and jealousy filled the pit of her stomach as her face scrunched up. If she sat over there, she would easily freak out and end up ruining any chance that she may have had with Michael. Maybe Eleanor was right, but if she moved.....

Brittany looked back to where her sisters and friends were. Fine, you win, she thought. Audrey would probably ask her later, but she could just lie and say her sisters wanted to sit somewhere else now. It wasn't exactly a full lie anyway, right?

Jeanette noticed Brittany walking over to the table. Okay, that was a good thing. But would Brittany be mad Jeanette decided to change seats? Well, if she needed to, she could always slide to the side and sit across from Simon again. She took a bite of her sandwich to make sure she wouldn't make everything awkward with whatever she could blurt out, and waited for her sister to sit down.

"So I see that we are making decisions without me now," Brittany remarked, plopping her stuff down on the table next to Jeanette. 

Eleanor sighed. "It was the only way to get you to do it."

"Uhuh." 

Brittany took her seat, making herself comfortable. She quickly noticed something was off, however. Was it maybe the fact that they were at a new table? Yeah, sure it was different, but that wasn't it. So then what......

Oh, she realized. She was sitting across from Simon. So why was Jeanette?

Jeanette finished chewing and quickly wanted to make conversation away from the new seating arrangement. "Hey, Simon?" she turned to face him. "When's our next math test?" she asked. Simon and Jeanette were in an advanced math class, which wasn't a surprise to anyone, but being the forgetful person she was, she forgot about their test. Which was a bit of a surprise, since Jeanette didn't usually forget about school things.

"I think it's next Wednesday, Jeanette," Simon replied. Good thing he always took note of everything school-related, huh? And Alvin said there was no point in it. 

"Can we talk about something that isn't school-related?" Alvin asked. "This is supposed to be my break from that."

Theodore nodded his head in agreement. "Yeah, the last thing I want to think about is my next math test," he frowned at the reminder.

"I think you're gonna do great, Theo," Eleanor reassured.

"Thanks, Ellie,” Theodore said. He wasn't so sure about that, but the reassurance was helpful. Besides, Simon and Jeanette liked tutoring, so if he really needed help while studying, he could just ask them for help.

"Okay, let's talk about something way better," Alvin interjected. 

"And what do you suggest?" Simon asked, curious to see what his brother's idea of "way better" would be.

"I dunno," Alvin admitted. "Just anything that isn't........math." He shuddered at the mere mention of it. His least favorite subject, eugh.

"Well, have all of you had a good day so far?" Theodore asked the group.

"Yeah, mine's been pretty great," Eleanor replied.

"Just another normal day at school for me," Simon added.

"Other than my phone getting taken away mine's been pretty good," Alvin said.

"It was okay, but I did bump into a few more people today," Jeanette frowned.

"That's okay Jeanette, I'm sure they were fine," Eleanor comforted.

"Thanks, Ellie," she said, smiling. "So how was your day Theodore?"

"Mine was good too," Theodore answered, and then everyone was looking at Brittany, waiting for her answer.

Brittany wasn't even paying attention to the conversation. All she could think about was Audrey and Michael, and how annoying they were together. It's like they couldn't stand to be apart for more than five minutes and ugh!!!!!!! Why why why did this have to happen to her? She didn't even realize everyone was having a full conversation without her until they were all suddenly looking at her. 

"Earth to Brittany?" she heard Alvin say rudely, causing her to snap back into where she was. 

"What?" Brittany retorted, confused.

"How has your day been?" Theodore asked.

Brittany blinked. Oh. "Fine," she replied. She was sure nobody wanted to hear about her current inner turmoil going on, so she decided to lie.

Jeanette felt bad for Brittany. She probably wasn't actually having the best of days today. However, she wasn't one to press much further.

Alvin knew Brittany was lying. He saw Audrey and Michael together. There was no way that didn't piss the oldest chipette off.

"There you are!" 

A familiar voice could be heard from the end of the table. Standing in front of the six was an average-height blonde girl who looked about as dolled up as Brittany usually was. "Why are you all sitting over here today?"

Theodore didn't recognize the girl, so he turned to his brother.

"That's Audrey, remember?" Simon whispered.

Eleanor looked over to her sister knowingly. Brittany was obviously not happy that Audrey had come over. Shit, maybe this was the wrong decision Eleanor thought. No, this would have happened either way....

Alvin knew what was coming next. Here we go....

"Oh, change of scenery," Brittany said, forcing a smile as she looked at her man stealing friend. "You know?"

"Yeah, it kinda got boring at the old table," Theodore added, and he actually meant that. He kinda liked the change. That didn't mean he didn't want to go back to their old table, of course. He had made so many memories there, and he didn't want to let that go.

Simon just decided to play along and hum in agreement.

Audrey looked back at the chipmunks perplexed. "Uh.......okay?" she replied. "So it's nothing against me then?" 

"Of course not!" Brittany replied. "Girl why would I do that?" 

"I don't know. Maybe I'm just being paranoid."

"Yeah, I get that. We all get that way sometimes, haha."

Eleanor watched the fake conversation with disgust, but as long as it didn't turn south she was not going to interrupt. 

"Well, I guess I'll leave you guys to it then,” Audrey said. 

Brittany nodded. "Yup."

Jeanette sighed in relief once Audrey was back at her table. Disaster avoided.

"God I hate her," Brittany said.

"Aaaaaand there it is," Eleanor added.

Simon honestly wasn't surprised in the slightest. He had observed how girls of Brittany's status interacted with each other. He also knew what Jeanette had told him. Lots of arguments, fake personalities, petty drama, relationship interference, etc. These interactions were actually somewhat interesting to study, albeit annoying. He thought more highly of Brittany though, of course.

Theodore just shrugged. Her name was Audrey, she was popular, blonde and pretty. And she behaved just like someone would think a girl like her did according to cartoons he had grown up with. 

"Well?" Brittany asked.

Alvin just continued to eat his lunch, not commenting. Last time he tried doing that, he got told to fuck off and then was ignored for an entire evening. He wasn't about to start shit again.

“You did amazing, Brittany!" Jeanette whispered, sincerely congratulating her sister on keeping her cool around Audrey.

"Oh," Brittany replied. "Thank you."

Simon looked at the time on his watch. "Well, it looks like our class will start soon. Should we go?" he didn't mention anyone specifically, but he looked right at Jeanette. The two usually went to their classes early, and they happened to share the next one.

Jeanette had finished her lunch by then, so she was fine with leaving. "Sure," she smiled at him and the two started to pack their things.

"What?" Alvin asked, confused. "I know you two are usually weird about being early to class for some reason, but we still have 15 minutes!"

"Yeah, but Jeanette and I need to go to the library first, we've got books to drop off. Around this time of the week there's a huge line," Simon explained.

"Have fun with that," Brittany said. 

"Bye guys!" Eleanor cheered.

"Bye!" Jeanette replied, waving before following Simon out of the cafeteria.

The table immediately became silent after Simon and Jeanette left, which was odd since those two were usually the quieter ones. Eleanor knew this was because Brittany was fuming, which was probably why Alvin didn't dare try to start any kind of conversation. The blonde looked at Theodore for help. He always had something to say, right?

Theodore felt Eleanor's eyes on him and figured she wanted him to say something. "Hey, Alvin, when's your next football match?" he asked, hoping to change the subject.

Alvin perked up at the sudden question. "Next week," he said nonchalantly. "Then the week after that's the homecoming game." 

Ugh, homecoming, why did he have to mention homecoming? Brittany could feel herself getting angry again. She didn't have a date! She was going to look ridiculous without one! She was going to be.......a loser! "Pfft, homecoming is overrated this year."

Theodore was definitely surprised Brittany said that about homecoming. She usually loved it. Though, he was more surprised about homecoming being that close. "Oh my gosh, I forgot!" he realized. It wasn't that much of a big deal for him, but he couldn't believe he'd forget something that was happening so soon.

Eleanor knew why Brittany was calling homecoming overrated, but she didn't want her sister to start ranting about it, so she stayed quiet on that end. "Right, Theodore?" she replied. "I have my dress picked out already, but that's about all I've done. I'm still not sure how I'm going to do my hair...." 

Alvin looked over to Brittany. She seemed very obviously upset, probably because of stupid old Michael. He swore that jackass wasn't even worth being upset over, but he couldn't help but feel a little bad that his friend was left without a date this year. He was thankful that Jessica was taking him, because going alone to homecoming was a big deal, and not in a good way.

"Can we talk about literally anything else?" Brittany snapped, glaring at everyone.

Theodore jumped a little in his skin. "Yeah, sure," he said. "What about the old amusement park closing? Remember that place? We used to play there all the time!" Theodore frowned.

Eleanor was a little annoyed that Brittany wasn't allowing anyone else to enjoy homecoming at the moment, but she was more willing to let it go than have it drag into another argument. "Oh yeah, I heard about that!" Eleanor replied. 

"No more Death Coaster!" Alvin whined. "I never got to be tall enough to ride it before it closed down. I just recently hit the requirement this summer, and boom! Just like that.......gone....."

"Yeah!" Theodore whined in agreement. "All those great memories! All gone! Plus, no more amazing snow-cones!" he continued, frowning.

"And the fun shows they would put on?" Eleanor added. "Remember when we performed there and got free tickets? That was super fun!" 

"Best day of my life," Alvin replied. "Other than being just under the height requirement for the Death Coaster. Sneaking in the line didn't even work, ugh!"

Theodore nodded his head. "Yeah, but I can't believe they're closing it down, and all just to have space for ANOTHER amusement park!" Theodore told them.

Brittany didn't care much about this conversation, but it was better than talking about homecoming. 

"This one better be good," Alvin said.

"Yeah, but don't worry Alvin, they're bringing the Death Coaster back," Theodore smiled.

"They are?" Alvin asked, smile widening. 

Brittany rolled her eyes.

"Yeah! They're also bringing back the teacup rides!" Theodore cheered.

"Our favorite!" Eleanor exclaimed happily. 

"Yeah, that," Alvin said unenthusiastically.

"Oh come on guys, the teacups are fun! They're not crazy or intense, just fun little teacup rides," Theodore smiled.

"See that's exactly it," Alvin began, "Not crazy or intense. AKA, not worth it."

"Well, I like it, Alvin," Theodore defended.

"I know," Alvin replied. "But you're Theodore, so that makes sense." 

"And what is that supposed to mean?" Eleanor said.

"That's not very nice, Alvin. I don't say you like the Death Coaster because you're Alvin," Theodore replied.

"Why?" Alvin asked. "It's true." 

Eleanor rolled her eyes.

Theodore decided it would be better to let it go, he hadn't finished the rest of his lunch anyway. So that's what he got back to, eating his second sandwich.

Not too long after their conversation had faded, the bell rang to indicate that lunch was over. "Dammit," Alvin muttered as he gathered his things.

“Aw, man! I didn't get to finish the rest of my lunch!" Theodore whined. "Wait, actually, that means I can eat the rest later while we're going home," he added, smiling as he realized.

Eleanor chuckled at Theodore as she got up from the table. 

Brittany swiftly left the table to go to her next class. She was not in the mood to deal with school anymore, so hopefully the next few periods would go by quickly.

Alvin and Eleanor gave each other a quick look as Brittany made her exit, but nothing was said between the two as they followed with Theodore trailing just behind them. 

Slick Six ;), 1:18 pm

Alvin: I HATE ENGLISH CLASS

Alvin: Why does it have to be my last class of the day?

Alvin: God help me

Theodore: Alvin, get off your phone! You'll be in trouble!😰

Alvin: Nah I'm doing it more secretly this time

Alvin: And you're also on your phone during class so like....are you any better?

Theodore: OH NO! You're right!!😱

Theodore: Sorry Alvin, I got to go! :(

Alvin: Ah shit

Alvin: Now I have nobody to talk to

Alvin: ALLL BY MYSEEEEEELLLLLLF

Alvin: DON'T WANNA BE

Alvin: ALL BY MYYYYSEEEELLLF

Brittany: Is there a second of the day where you are not obnoxious?

Alvin: Nope😏

Brittany: Ofc not

Alvin: Why do you have to be the only other one who texts during class?

Brittany: Because the others are rule followers

Alvin: Lame

Brittany: Don't you have other friends to text?

Alvin: I mean yeah but like you guys are my homies

Alvin: My OGs

Brittany: Okay

Brittany: I’m going to go back to texting my friends that don't say homie and OG

Brittany: Bye

Alvin: Rude

Alvin: I don't see a problem with it

Brittany: That's the problem ugh

Brittany: Whatever bye for real this time

Alvin: At least I don't say whatever like omg like girl

Alvin: Like totally omg

Brittany: I don't talk like that

Alvin: Yes you do

Brittany: Do not

Alvin: Do too

Eleanor: SHUT THE FUCK UP I AM TRYING TO CONCENTRATE ON MY BIOLOGY CLASS

Alvin: K

Brittany: K

Brittany: NO

Alvin: Jinx you owe me a soda Britt

Brittany: No

Eleanor: I’m muting this

Alvin: Darn bye Eleanor

Brittany: Anyways

Brittany: Go text someone else, PLEASE

Alvin: Fine I will

Brittany: Good

Brittany: Bye

Alvin: Bye

2:01 pm

Simon: Wowwwww, I see you two were busy while we were learning.

Simon: “Do not" followed by "Do too", how thrilling of a comeback.

Brittany: Okay why don't you do the arguments for me from now on, Simon

Simon: I’d rather not waste my energy for that.

Eleanor: Which is why I muted the chat

Brittany: I can't even blame you

Brittany: Alvin is EXHAUSTING

Alvin: HEY

Simon: It's alright Alvin, Brittany's exhausting too.

Brittany: Watch it

Eleanor: Both of you exhaust me so don't even

Simon: I’m surprised it didn't go on for another 10 minutes.

Eleanor: I’m surprised too tbh

Alvin: The alternative was listening to Mrs. Brown talk about Hamlet for another 30 minutes

Jeanette: Oh my god!! Hamlet?? Hamlet's AMAZING!!

Alvin: Of course you think that Jeanette

Jeanette: It was by Shakespeare, Alvin!!!

Alvin: Yeah whatever his plays suck

Jeanette: They do NOT!

Alvin: Like what's the point of writing something in English if it doesn't like English you know what I mean

Simon: Alvin, that was how English sounded back then.

Alvin: What?

Eleanor: Alvin, you amaze me with how much you don't know

2:48 pm

Theodore: Hey, are you girls home yet? 

Brittany: No

Eleanor: We've been waiting on Brittany for 10 minutes

Brittany: WELL I'M A LITTLE DISTRACTED RN SO STOP TEXTING

Eleanor: You can just ignore the chat?

Theodore: Oh, what's Brittany doing?

Eleanor: I don't know

Alvin: This is why we don't walk with you guys anymore

Brittany: Well it's your loss that we don't walk together tbh

Alvin: Anyways apparently I amaze Eleanor. Who knew?

Simon: Of course you'd say that, Alvin.

Alvin: What is that supposed to mean

Alvin: To both of you

Brittany: Figure it out

Simon: I’m referring to your confidence, Alvin.

Alvin: Ohhhh

Alvin: Thanks Simon😉

Simon: You're not welcome.

Theodore: Actually, I kinda miss walking with you girls :(

Jeanette: Aw, that's sweet Theodore. I miss you guys too :)

Eleanor: I miss it too :(

Eleanor: BRITTANY WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLY BE DOING

Jeanette: Yeah, we really need to get home soon!

Brittany: Shhhhh it's nothing just give me a sec

Eleanor: We've given you 15 minutes at this point

Jeanette: How long do you think it'll take? And also why are you shushing us over text?

Alvin: She's making sure she's pretty enough to walk home y'know?

Theodore: Wait, people need to do that??

Brittany: No it's not that

Eleanor: Theo...

Brittany: Okay I'm coming

Jeanette: Yay!

Chapter Text

Monday, October 3rd 7:20 pm

Chipmunk’s Bedroom

"I told you already, Alvin. I'm NOT going to that stupid dance!" Simon groaned, and kept his eyes on his book.

"But it's HOMECOMING, Simon!" Alvin protested, throwing his arms up exasperatingly. "You have to go!"

After being scolded earlier in the day for daring to speak about Homecoming, Alvin ended up bringing up the topic while he was at home with his brothers. He had specifically asked Simon if he was going to ask anyone, to which Simon had responded with, well, that. 

After Alvin’s exclamation, Simon retorted. “No, I don't! There's no academic relevance to it! Just a bunch of teens getting drunk and being gross. I'm not coming, simple as that.”

"Why does it have to have....whatever you just said?" Alvin asked. "Can't you just do something because you want to? Because it's fun!?"

Simon sighed. "That's the thing, Alvin. I don't want to do it. In my opinion, it's not fun," he explained.

Alvin huffed. "You seriously need to get out more," he commented. "I don't know how it doesn't seem fun to you."

This was around the moment when Theodore entered the room. "What's up, guys?" he asked, greeting his brothers with his usual bright smile.

"Simon's not going to Homecoming," Alvin replied. "Can you believe it?"

"What!? Why not?" Theodore gasped. What could possibly make his brother not want to come? They were gonna have so much fun there!

Simon groaned. Now he had to explain to Theodore too!? "Look, guys, I just don't wanna go. It's not my kind of fun and I wouldn't enjoy it anyway. No point in wasting time when  I could be studying," he told them.

"Studying!?" Alvin exclaimed. "You'd rather study than go to Homecoming!?"

"I'd rather do anything than go to homecoming! I just don't wanna go! Maybe I'll make dinner, maybe I'll go shopping, maybe I'll invent something!" Simon threw his arms up and dropped his book (which he quickly picked back up).

Alvin just didn't understand. Homecoming was the time to get together with your friends and have a good time, with no homework, tests, or stress to let manifest. How could Simon not want that?  "I don't understand...."

"Me neither," Theodore scratched his head in confusion. "But, you don't have to go if you don't want to, I just don't want you to be lonely," Theodore explained.

"Right! You have to come with us so you're not sitting here alone like a loser!" Alvin added.

Simon rolled his eyes. "Who cares if I'm a loser? I'd rather stay all by myself than go to that disgusting party," he replied. The mere thought of what those teenagers would be doing repulsed him.

"Disgusting!?"

"Yeah, DISGUSTING! I'm not gonna say it in front of Theodore but you know what I mean!" Simon shouted, folding his arms.

"Oh, seriously?" Alvin stated. "You don't want to go because you don't want to get caught in the grind circle?"

"There's a GRIND CIRCLE!?" he exclaimed. This was news to him. He knew... inappropriate things would be going on but he didn't think of it to that extent. "Okay, I'm not going. I already wasn't. But now I'm leaving," Simon told him, standing up and getting out of his chair. 

Alvin internally slapped himself for mentioning the grind circle. Great, he thought, grimacing. "Simon...."

Theodore watched Simon leave the room. Then he turned to his older brother. "Alvin, what's a grind circle?" he asked, his innocence more obvious than ever.

"Uh," Alvin began, panicking. "It's uh, it's nothing, Theo."

"Uh... okay," Theodore wasn't sure he even wanted to know.

Alvin stood in awkward silence briefly before he switched the subject. "So how are we gonna convince Simon to go with us?"

"Do we have to?" Theodore asked, curious.

"Yeah!" Alvin responded. "This is for Simon's sake. Just imagine him all alone! So sad, lame, crushed......"

"But he sounds like he'll be happier alone..." Theodore replied.

Alvin looked at Theodore with an irritated stare. Yeah, okay, his younger brother wasn't being manipulated by him this time. Well, not yet....

"You don't get it Theo," Alvin continued. "He's just saying that so that we leave him alone. He actually secretly wants us to force him to go!"

"That sounds like something Brittany would do. Simon's very different from Brittany," Theodore said. "But... I mean, I don't want all of us to have fun while he's by himself. He might have more fun with us.” Theodore was conflicted, but after thinking it over, he gave in. "B-But if you really want him to go, just give him a reason he'll actually care about," Theodore said. He hoped he was making the right decision.

"Hmmmm," Alvin said, thinking. "He said he wants something educational, right?"

"I guess so. He likes educational stuff. But the thing is, it'll have to be super educational to convince him because Homecoming isn't even mandatory," Theodore replied.

"Right," Alvin continued. After a bit of thinking, he snapped with an "Aha!". "What if we convince him that some famous inventor is going to be there?" he said. "Our Homecoming theme is futuristic, anyway. That totally makes sense, doesn't it?"

"But Alvin, how are we going to get a famous inventor there, and why would one want to come?" Theodore tilted his head to the side, confused and oblivious to what his brother meant.

Alvin sighed. "Theodore, I said convince. That means there won't actually be one there."

"What!? We have to lie to him?" Theodore gasped. He did not like lying.

"Oh, like you've never done it before," Alvin said.

"Y-Yeah, but a lot of the time, YOU make me!" Theodore defended himself.

"And? You still do it."

Theodore felt a sense of shame grow in his stomach. He hated lying to people, he knew lying was bad, it made him feel bad. But that didn't mean he was bad, right? "I-I don't know about this, Alvin. M-Maybe we should just leave Simon alone..." he protested.

"And have him stay at home while everyone asks where he is?" Alvin continued. "What are we going to do when everyone finds out our brother us too lame to go to Homecoming?"

Theodore knew he could keep this going on forever. He had many arguments left. Like, people already thought Simon was "lame" and he probably wasn't the only one going to stay home. Plus, it was only one night. Though a part of him knew Alvin would probably convince him one way or another, he always did. So what was the point of arguing? Alvin wouldn't change his mind. He sighed. It was technically lying for a good cause, right? Well, it might have been for a good cause, he wasn't even sure how Simon would react.

He gave in. "Fine. But what's he even going to do when he gets there and realizes there's no famous inventor? He'll just go straight back home. He'll have no one to hang out with anyway, you'll be with Jessica and I'll be with Eleanor," Theodore replied. 

"What?" Alvin asked. "We'll still hang out with him, right? Besides, he has Jeanette. As far as I know, she isn't going with anyone."

"I mean, I'll definitely try my best to make time for him... But what if Jeanette doesn't go? She also doesn't like big social events," Theodore pointed out. 

"That's true," Alvin said. "Guess we'll just have to convince her then. Or...."

He whipped his phone out. "I got this."

To: Tiny Brat, 7:30 pm

Alvin: Hey

Alvin: Is Jeanette going to Homecoming?

Brittany: Last time I checked she was on the fence about it

Brittany: Why?

Alvin: I need a good reason for Simon to stay at Homecoming

Alvin: He doesn't want to go

Brittany: Really?

Alvin: Yeah he thinks it's "gross" or whatever

Brittany: What...

Brittany: He's so weird

Alvin: Hey

Alvin: Only I get to say that

Brittany: Okay

Alvin: Anyways

Alvin: I’m planning on convincing him that the dance is featuring some famous inventors so that he'll go

Brittany: And....how do you plan on doing that?

Alvin: Simple

Alvin: I lie to him, make fake posters, etc.

Alvin: It'll work, trust me

Brittany: Sure...

Brittany: So what does Jeanette have to do with this?

Alvin: Well

Alvin: Theodore made a good point that Simon would just leave when he found out I lied to him

Alvin: So I need Jeanette to be there so she can convince him to stay

Brittany: Hm....

Brittany: What do I get out of this?

Alvin: My appreciation for you being such a great friend

Brittany: Ugh

Brittany: I’ll go ask her right now

Alvin: Thank you Brittany you're the best

Brittany: I know

"And....done!"

"What did you do?" Theodore asked.

"Got Brittany to ask Jeanette," Alvin replied.

Chipettes Room, 7:40 pm

Brittany rolled her eyes. Alvin was always up to something, wasn't he? Yet somehow, he always seemed to get her involved. "Jeanette?" she asked her sister, who was in the room with her.

Jeanette was reorganizing her bookshelf but turned around at the sound of her sister's voice. "Yes?"

"Have you thought any further about homecoming?"

Jeanette frowned. Not this again. "I've been trying not to, but yeah. I still don't think it'd be a good idea to go," she replied.

"Really?" Brittany asked, surprised. "Even after I told you about all of the very good qualities?"

Jeanette sighed. "Brittany, do you even remember what you told me?"

"Uh, yeah," Brittany replied. "The music, the scenery, the photos? And most importantly, they introduce the court. Which I am on...."

"But what about all the... sexual stuff? I don't want to be caught amidst all of that!" Jeanette whispered, as if she shouldn't have said it out loud.

"Jeanette, how many times do I have to tell you?" Brittany groaned, facepalming and shaking her head, "All of the grinding is in the very center of the room. All you have to do is stay away from it and you're fine!"

Jeanette figured that made sense. She was used to sticking to the sides and the walls, anyway. Plus, she'd get to have fun with her sisters and her friends... given they didn't leave her alone and run off with their dates. Maybe Brittany was right, maybe she needed to get out of her comfort zone more often. "O-Okay, but you girls won't leave me alone, right?"

"Of course not," Brittany said. "I don't have a date, remember?" 

It hurt to remind herself, but if it meant getting Jeanette to go with her....

"Fine. I'll go."

"Yes!" Brittany shouted. "You won't regret it, Jean. Trust me."

Jeanette sighed and returned to her bookshelf. I sure hope not.