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Underneath the pale moonlight / Dreaming of a circus life / Carousels and Ferris heights / I’ll be yours if you’ll be mine / ‘Cause I’m lonely, I’m so lonely / If you hold me I’ll be your only
Denki has three problems.
Problem one; he’s lonely. Not in the I have no friends and no one to talk to kind of lonely. He has plenty of friends and he loves them. His friends are great, the best there are. He loves them more than anything and they love him more than anything. They’re so ride or die for each other that it freaks people out sometimes. One of Denki’s biggest regrets (and he knows Sero and Mina feel the same) is not going with Kirishima to rescue Bakugou when he was kidnapped. They should have overcome their fears and gone after their friend. After all, the five of them make a kick-ass team. When they put their minds to it, no one-- not even the Dekusquad in all their glory-- can beat them.
No, Denki is lonely in a romantic sense. Denki is yearning, and he’s yearning hard. He wants someone to cuddle with, someone to hold hands with, someone who loves him in a different way than his friends and family. He knows he’s young-- they’re only in their second year of UA, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t still want. Denki has always been a tactile guy. He’s always been full of love and eager to give it away. He’s always fallen fast and fallen hard, and even though that gets him hurt more often than not, he doesn’t regret this part of himself.
Problem two; he has a massive crush on Shinsou Hitoshi. Shinsou is someone that took Denki by surprise. He entered Denki’s life in a whirl of surly attitude and unstoppable gravitational pull. Shinsou has fascinated him since the first moment they met, and that fascination has only grown the longer they know each other. Shinsou is a dichotomy. He swears up and down he doesn’t want friends, but he never rejects hanging out when someone asks. He has a resting bitch face like no other-- and he can back that up with attitude if needed-- but more often than not is soft-spoken and kind. He’s cautious around new people, assuming the worst of everyone’s intentions, but he still keeps putting himself out there.
Shinsou is fascinating, Denki is fascinated. Denki likes him so much. He wants nothing more than to ask Shinsou out and have this be the one that sticks. He knows Shinsou, he’s comfortable with Shinsou, he doesn’t feel like just a fun time with Shinsou. He and Shinsou have gotten close since he joined the Hero Course, and Denki has never clicked so easily with someone else. Even as just friends. Shinsou understands him better than anyone. Denki is better at reading Shinsou than anyone. They work together, and it makes Denki yearn for just that little bit more. But Denki is terrified that if he confessed his feelings, Shinsou wouldn’t take him seriously because Denki is known as a flirt.
Problem three; problems one and two could solve each other if only Denki could be brave.
“Do you ever feel lonely?” Denki asks Shinsou one night. The two of them have snuck out to sit on the rooftop of the dorms. The moon is full and bright, not a cloud in the sky. The pale light shines down on them, and Denki can’t help but think that Shinsou was made for the night.
The night is quiet, not a single sound reaching them. The dorm building is tall enough that from the roof no sounds from the ground reach them. No animals, no sounds from the dorm rooms, no one walking across campus. Nothing can touch them up here. If Denki was up here by himself, he would feel unmeasurably lonely. The world looks so big from up here, it’s impossible to not feel small in comparison. But with Shinsou by his side, it makes him dream of a different life-- or maybe a future-- where neither of them has to be lonely.
“All the time,” Shinsou answers without hesitation. “I’m guessing you do, too?”
“Yeah,” Denki sighs. “I know it’s dumb. I mean, I’ve got plenty of people--”
“That doesn’t mean you can’t still be lonely,” Shinsou interrupts. “And there are different kinds of being lonely. You can be lonely for family, friends, someone to date, whatever. And even if you have all those things, sometimes you still feel lonely.”
“Well aren’t you just full of good advice,” Denki laughs, trying not to focus on that someone to date bit.
“Hey, I’m very wise,” Shinsou says. Denki turns his head to find Shinsou with an all too serious look on his face. “It comes with being lonely. Lots of time for introspection.”
Denki snorts, not a pretty sound. Shinsou’s lips twitch like he wants to smile.
Maybe it’s the way Shinsou is glowing under the moonlight. Maybe it’s the peacefulness brought on by the silence. Maybe it’s the inherent comfort that comes with being understood without having to explain himself.
Denki is feeling brave tonight.
“Maybe we can be lonely together,” Denki says, adding a little cheek to save himself if Shinsou takes it as a joke. Shinsou shifts around on the concrete rooftop until he’s laying on his side, facing Denki. It can’t be comfortable. Denki knows it’s not comfortable because he mimics the position in solidarity.
“Wouldn’t be lonely if we’re together,” Shinsou points out. Denki’s heart skips a beat at Shinsou’s phrasing.
“Thought you said you could have friends, family, and someone to date and still be lonely,” Denki reminds.
Shinsou hums, conceding the point. His expression is suspiciously neutral. Shinsou only does that when he’s about to put himself out there, let himself risk getting hurt again because he can’t stop hoping for the best. “Am I a friend or a someone to date if we’re being lonely together?”
Denki gulps, feeling like his heart is in his throat. “The someone to date,” he says shakily.
Shinsou smiles, and all of the air leaves Denki in a rush of relief. Shinsou tips forward until he can bump his head into Denki’s, resting their foreheads together.
“Alright,” he whispers. “Let’s be lonely together.”
Denki has a feeling he actually won’t be lonely again.