Chapter Text
Jonah didn’t like dreaming. Not that he was against dreaming as a whole, but his dreams tended to leave him more with cold sweats and paranoia than rainbows and sunshine.
He was marching through a blizzard, his hand up over his face to keep the snow out of his eyes. How he’d gotten there in the first place he couldn’t quite put his finger on, but that didn’t matter. There was a light in the distance, and that meant shelter - the faster he could get there, the better.
The cold didn’t bother him as much as it usually did, despite the fact that he was only wearing his usual coat, which wasn’t even fur-lined. Still, he wrapped it against himself with one hand, still protecting his eyes from the storm. The winds whirled and whistled around him in a way he very much didn’t like.
Then, of course, the winds ripped him right out of the ground and sent him flying into the air in the direct opposite direction of the light.
SHIT, he roared into the storm. Well, fuck me for tempting fate.
His stomach dropped as the ground disappeared in a flurry of snow. He had no idea how high up he was, but it was probably high enough that he’d be pretty fucked if he fell. The winds showed no signs of stopping, though, pushing him higher into the air and tumbling him head over heels.
And then the snow opened, revealing that it wasn’t snow at all but the gaping maw of a monster below him, round and red and filled with razor sharp teeth that coated its mouth and spiraled down its gullet. It filled Jonah’s vision until all he could see was the teeth, the teeth in a mouth massive enough to engulf a small town and shred its citizens to bits. He was terrified, but not quite as terrified as he thought he would be when looking into the face of certain death. Maybe death was less scary when you’d already looked it in the eyes.
That was when it hit him. His chest nearly exploded when the thought hit his brain. In an adrenaline-fueled mix of panic and fear and horror and confusion, his hands flew to his face to confirm what he already knew.
They felt no cloth. The Visitor’s eye was free. And nothing had happened.
As he hurtled towards the monster’s mouth, he realized that he wasn’t scared anymore. No. What he was feeling wasn’t fear - it was emptiness. Loss. Regret. There was something hollow in his gut, something plugging up his throat, and he realized with a mild shock that he was crying.
Oh, god, he thought. Mercy, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry-
The first of the teeth sliced into his gut. Then his leg. Then his body exploded in agony.
NO- PLEASE-
He woke up. His heartbeat was pumping fast in his rib cage.
In a panic, his hand flew to his face. The cloth was still there, securely tied around his head.
He exhaled. For a moment, he just lay there, listening to his heartbeat. His real eye burned. His pillow was damp.
It was over.
…Damn.
Groaning, he pushed himself to a sitting position and took deep breaths until his heartbeat was normal again. The sun hadn’t risen yet, and the forest was about as still as it would get. No birds singing, no crickets, nothing - just the leaves whispering in the wind and a bucket’s worth of morning dew beading up on his sleeping bag.
Mercy, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry-
The memory was already carved in marble in his mind. It kept playing, again and again, just that single moment of pure regret and desperation. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.
He looked at Mercy’s sleeping form. She was so small compared to that gigantic monster in his dreams. Her breathing was soft and regular. In, out. In, out. There was just a hint of mist floating around her head.
His heart panged. God, the only thing he wanted right now was to hold her. He could imagine how perfectly she would fit in his arms, how her hair would smell, how her chest would rise and fall against his own…
How safe you would feel.
“Nngh,” he mumbled. “Fuck me.”
That was it, though, wasn’t it. Mercy made him feel safe. Jonah had spent so long just being terrified all the time, but something about Mercy just… scared it away. It was relief that she existed and that she was there, that Jonah really did have hope, that one day maybe they really would find some way to fix all their shit and they’d get to love each other for real and forever. Whatever it was, he craved the feeling like nothing else. It was intoxicating.
The cloth tickled his cheek in the wind, and his heart broke.
Fuck.
I’m so sorry, Mercy.