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Honestly, Steve should really remember to put his phone on silent at night. As much as he’s an early riser for his runs, some days he comes home just to crash back into bed just as everyone else wakes up. The guy might get up at the crack of dawn feeling ready to go, but as soon as he’s back in bed he’s as inanimate and unresponsive as a log. On this Friday he’s getting text after text; sporadic, annoying dings and the vibration of his phone against the wooden nightstand forcing him to push over onto his side and check what’s up.
With the incessant urgency, Steve might suspect there’s some kind of ‘get up we have to save the world again’ situation, only if that were the case he’d be getting a call from Fury.
He grumbles as he unlocks the phone. Seriously? A text every time he was just this close to falling asleep?
Instead, when he opens his texts, he sees at least one message from each of the Avengers team. He squints miserably at the too bright screen and pries his eyes open just enough to look at them.
Steve hasn’t been more confused in his life.
There seems to be no connections between the texts, but nonetheless Cap opens them one by one.
Tony’s was the earliest message, and Steve reasons that if there’s any news, he’s the first to hear it since he hardly sleeps. All it says is Congrats, Cap! followed by a smirking emoji. Steve frowns and looks to the other messages in search of some clarity.
Sam, having jogged with him but seemingly not gone right back to bed, sent You heard the news?
No, apparently he has not. Instead of replying, Steve goes back. Honestly, what is going on?
Clint sent an array of rainbow heart emojis.
Natasha’s threw him off more than any of them had yet: Well would you look at that? Go get him, grandpa.
Get who? Why?
Nick’s text wasn’t any more telling than the rest, only saying, Remember: us first, then the press.
Steve’s phone buzzes in his hand as another text comes through. Then another, and another. He opens Wanda’s messages, the first being a series of exclamation marks, the second a smiley emoji, and the third another congratulations. What…?
Congratulations for what? is all Steve can think.
This time when his phone buzzes, Steve drops it on his face. Yeah, thanks. He groans and rubs his cheek, pouting slightly as he checks what it is this time.
Here’s hoping you finally get your head out of your ass, Maria’s text reads. Steve’s brows move closer with more confusion.
It’s another minute later when – God bless him – Bruce sends a message consisting of a single link to a news site.
The headline reads: Gay marriage declared legal across the US in historic supreme court ruling
This only makes things more confusing.
“You too?” Steve hears a hoarse voice. Bucky’s standing in the doorway with a lopsided grin, no shirt, and his boxers hung dangerously low on his hips. Hello. Steve wakes right up and lies flat on his back, decidedly looking away from his friend.
“If by that you mean being rudely awoken by a bunch of texts, then yeah.”
Bucky smirks as he pushes himself off the doorframe and flops onto the bed beside Steve, propping his head up on his hand. “Who was it?”
Steve frowns at the ceiling and replies, “Just… Sam. Nat, Bruce…” he trails off. He’s still at a loss for what the congratulations were for.
“Uhuh,” Bucky mutters, watching Steve closely. Steve lets his eyes fall shut, still tight with exhaustion. All it means is that he doesn’t see the way Bucky’s gaze flits over his every feature, paying careful attention to the fan of eyelashes and his bright pink lips. Bucky swallows in hopes of making his throat a little less dry, but it doesn’t do much. “What did they say?”
Steve shrugs. “They were weird. The only one that made sense was - ” Steve cuts himself off, eyes opening wider than they had been before. “Bruce sent a link to an article.”
“Yeah,” Bucky muses. Steve turns his head to one side, catching his best friend’s eye. Bucky’s morning voice is rough and tired and, especially with his hair tousled the way it is, Steve can’t help his heart from beating faster despite himself.
That’s when Steve gets it. But he doesn’t… He doesn’t get why those guys sent those texts; is he really that obvious? Steve doesn’t think so. Or at least he hopes he isn’t.
Looking at Bucky the way he is and feeling the all too familiar flutter in his stomach, Steve knows in the pit of his stomach that those texts were aimed at his timeless pining for Bucky. Maybe only two of his friends actually know (and by know, he means that he’ll talk to Nat and Sam about Bucky, but doesn’t mention him at all to Tony. Steve supposes he is that obvious. Oh God. Is he that obvious to Bucky? This can’t be good). So wait, why did Bucky get woken up by texts too? Did the others send him similar texts to rat him out? Seriously? Fuck, Steve needs better friends.
He feels the heat rising in his cheeks and tries to keep it down.
“Come a far way this world has, huh, Stevie?” Bucky says wistfully.
Steve relaxes, figuring that Bucky didn’t notice his little panic at his revelation. “It’s something alright.”
“Who woulda thought, huh? If I were to go up to my ma back when I was a eighteen and told her I was gonna marry a guy in the future she’d have flipped out and tried to set me up with all of the wonderful girls in the neighbourhood just to keep me from having an underground wedding.”
“You’re going to marry a guy?” Steve says with a hint of amusement, his voice steady enough to hide the painful twisting of his guts.
Bucky glances at Steve and then out the window thoughtfully. “Who knows. All I know is that whichever way I go, girl or guy, I can get married in peace. If I get married, that is. Not like anyone would want to marry a former KGB assassin.”
Steve frowns. “Hey. You’re more than that.”
“Yeah well, I’m no less than that either,” Bucky deadpans. Steve’s frown deepens.
“Buck, any guy or girl would be lucky to have you. And if they’re too dumb that they can’t see that you’re more than that, that that wasn’t you, then they don’t deserve you.”
Bucky holds Steve’s gaze when a realization hits him. If not for Steve, not a single soul would have seen more in him than an assassin. No one would have saved him. All of the Avengers that treat him somewhat normally now, even they flinch when his left arm moves a little too fast and harshly for their liking. It’s only Steve that really believes there’s more to Bucky than all those people he killed. He trusts Bucky so wholly it hurts. Bucky thinks (knows) he won't find that trust or solidarity in anyone else.
“Maybe one day,” Bucky says.
Steve nods, not entirely satisfied, but he knows it's the best he'll get from Bucky for the time being. He turns to face the ceiling again. He’s not thought about this before. Absolutely not. He hasn’t thought about being with Bucky, hasn’t imagined it could ever be so serious as to take it to an altar and exchange vows, that Bucky might beam at him in a suit and look at Steve like there’s nothing more important to him in the entire world than Steve.
What Steve misses is that Bucky is giving him that look right now; that he looks at Steve like that every goddamn day.
Despite everything he’s been through, everything he’s done, and everyone he’s killed (even though everyone insists it wasn’t Bucky, he knows it was his trained hand that pulled the trigger every damn time), Steve has never treated Bucky any differently. Sometimes he hates Steve for it; he wants to be hated and to be looked like at like he’s a monster, because that’s what he feels he deserves. But the thing is Steve always pulls him back down, reminds him he deserves better. He holds Bucky until breathing comes easy again, until he slowly starts to believe the lies trickling from his best friend’s mouth. How Steve can muster so much faith in him when Bucky doesn’t even have any for himself is beyond him.
“Stevie?” Bucky asks quietly. He startles himself with how small his voice sounds. If he’s totally honest, he didn’t mean to say anything and doesn’t have a single idea for what he’s going to say next.
Steve lets his head roll over to one side again, a content smile quirking the corners of his mouth upwards.
“Thank you. For everything.”
Steve’s smile quickly turns to a frown, which Bucky immediately feels responsible for.
“No one else would have believed I could… No one else could have brought me back the way you did.”
Steve holds his breath and resists the urge to close the space between them and press his lips to Bucky’s. Instead, he deals by muttering, “Till the end of the line.”
Bucky yawns unintentionally and follows it with a tired laugh. “D’you mind if I go back to sleep?”
“Not at all,” Steve replies, confused as to why Bucky’s asking. But then again, when Bucky asked that Steve thought he meant he’d go back to his own room. He doesn’t expect Bucky to burrow under the sheets and shut his eyes right beside Steve. Not that he minds. In fact, Steve whines and puts an arm around his friend, pulling him closer. Bucky gladly obliges and cuddles up to Steve, and before long the two of them are almost asleep again.
But of course, Steve forgot to turn his phone on silent.
It’s from Tony.
“What is it?” Bucky groans.
“Nothing,” Steve says too quickly. Bucky frowns against Steve’s chest and pulls back, quickly grabbing Steve’s phone out of his hand before he can stop him. Steve’s face is bright red and he reaches for the phone, even going so far as tackling Bucky onto the sheets, pinning him down by lying on top of him. He doesn’t realize it’s a compromising position until Bucky reads the text out loud.
“‘If you two plan on having an overdue celebratory fuck at any point in the day, keep it down.’”
Bucky laughs for a second, and is about to ask who Tony’s talking about when he registers Steve’s weight on him and looks up at Steve to see he’s about the same colour as the red star he used to have on his arm before he got Cap’s shield on the new one Tony made for him.
His heart is beating too fast for his liking, but he manages to keep his breaths steady if not a little shaky. “Steve?” he says. It feels too loud.
He sees Steve swallow, right before he rolls off and sits upright on the edge of the bed. “I uh,” Steve starts, about to get up. He doesn’t get very far when Bucky grabs the back of Steve’s white tank and pulls him back down.
“Steve.” Bucky repeats more firmly. Steve sighs mutely, not making another attempt to get up. Bucky sits up behind him and waits. Steve doesn’t really know what to do for some time and stays with his back to Bucky before he finally turns around and faces his friend.
There are a few moments of silence where Steve doesn’t meet Bucky’s gaze, where Bucky can’t stop staring at Steve. He doesn’t plan on bringing a hand up to frame Steve’s face, but it happens and even with the way Steve’s eyes go super wide, Bucky can’t stop now. He leans closer and presses his lips to Steve’s soft and perf –
Steve jerks back almost immediately and Bucky feels sick to his stomach. He watches Steve blink rapidly, mouth opening and closing a few times. “I – What is this?” is all he says. Bucky looks pleadingly at Steve, hoping his eyes can convey everything he wants to say, everything he feels but can’t say. But Steve won’t look at him.
Bucky swallows, and can’t help how unsure and unsteady his voice is when he whispers, “This is us.”
At that, Steve’s eyes snap up to his (finally). Steve feels like the air has been punched out of his lungs.
The silence is weighing down on Bucky and he wants to say sorry, but he can’t talk when his throat is this tight. He doesn’t miss the way Steve’s eyes flicker down to Bucky’s lips, right before Steve leans back in, wrapping a hand around the back of Bucky’s neck to pull him closer.
It’s a slow, soft kiss that makes Bucky’s thoughts stop altogether, so caught up in the feel of Steve’s lips on his own. He sits up on his knees to guide Steve back onto the bed, all the while keeping them connected one way or another. He settles himself on top of Steve, one knee on either side, and leans down to meet Steve for another series of languid kisses that make Bucky’s mind turn to fuzzy, warm static.
Before, Steve’s mind was reeling a mile a minute, but now even he can’t formulate any thoughts outside of how much he’s wanted this. When Bucky breaks off and tucks his head into Steve’s neck, a contented smile crosses his lips. Bucky shifts himself off to lie beside Steve again, only now he’s closer and he’s got his hand under Steve’s tank running his fingers over bare skin just because he can. He lifts his head when Steve moves his arm from underneath him to grab his phone.
“Silent,” Steve mutters. Bucky smiles and teasingly drifts his hand up, tweaking a nipple and revelling in the sharp gasp that leaves Steve’s mouth. Despite the action, Bucky lets his hand drift back down to settle on Steve’s stomach, feeling each inhale and exhale. Steve brings a hand up to Bucky’s hair, slowly massaging his head until Bucky falls asleep. It’s not long after that when Steve’s ministrations slow down, his breathing evening out.
Neither of them wake up until the afternoon.