Chapter Text
Kim was NOT in love, that would be stupid , the same Kim Kimhan Theerapayakul in love ? that´s impossible
Yup , that is Kim being in denial.
kim knows that he actually like being with the boy and after entering his room, he knows that the boy has feelings more than just admiration for his idol
“Do you like someone at this moment?” ,Kim asked knowing well the answer, for a moment feeling stupid. “Yup”
´And there it is, those cheeks flaming up to his ear, gosh those pink cheeks, round like buns wish i could just pinch them, bite them, kiss them-, wait , KIM FOCUS´
Kim asked who , but Porschay just assured him that they didn't know them.
After that they had many tutoring sessions and each one of them being more appealing for Kim, he realized that he was comfortable, he was himself which kind of started to make him back off more and more, he shouldn't be comfortable , he must NOT be himself.
The interview was around the corner , and Chay was worried sick, he has the love song done, but Kim wasn't answering any of his calls or his messages, Kim wouldn't just abandon him like that right? Somehow they all abandon him at some point….No he wouldn't.
Chay kept reassuring himself that , so after thinking it thru he decided that he would just go to kim instead of waiting for him to come
*******
Chay was a ball of anxiety, well that was an understatement, Chay was no longer functioning due to how nervous he was, he needed to show his feeling to kim, he was praying that he could get the lyrics of the song he wrote, he just needed Kim to give him 3 minutes to express himself, his feeling
When he finally got a glimpse of Kim there was joy in his chest ´FINALLY´, he thought
“I'm busy”, Kim said when actually what he was thinking was ´please don't do this to me´
Even that didn't stop Chay , and he sang his song, it was such a cute and amazing song , i could even melt on it, Kim thought
Kim wasn't able to say anything after that small performance, so he just gave Chay a smile and a nod, and Chay on the other hand was the happiest person right there so he just gave Kim a thumbs up and went his way.
´That is´ Chay thought, it has been a couple of days since he last sang the song to his idol in front of his apartment, but sadly he didn't get any answer, not even a good or bad review so he went with it
*********
Kim was straight up ignoring him, his heart was aching, though he still didn't accept the reason. Yes he likes the boy's company and yes he would like to spend his entire day with him but linking him? Nah…i mean yes he likes him as a human being, even tho he is the first human being he likes too….
Kim´s mind would stop overthinking. Was he really liking the boy romantically? it's impossible… What was so special about him?
´Well… how he smiles, how he smells, how shy he gets when you compliment him, how good he is at anything you instruct him, he is smart, hardworking- okay stop´
So yes maybe he kind of likes him? well that was what he deduced before the song, after the song? oh he was head over heels
´Okay i l…ve him?, l…ov him? just admit it god damn it, YES I LOVE HIM´
But that is what made his night sleepless, he in the mafia, and he is on a mission, he cannot get twisted no matter what, he is not his father's son if he makes the slightest mistake
So he went with that, just ignoring the boy, he know Chay doesn't have anything dirty on anyone, so let him hate me for leaving him hanging
************
It has been a couple of days since Chay has gone thru his practical exam, Kim has been wondering how was it the whole day, knowing that his results are probably out
Entering the studio he sees a familiar figure, damn is familiar he has been trying to escape from his for the last 2 weeks
Kim was very happy to see him, so happy his heat was gonna burst
´God im down bad´ he thought while walking in
“Hi P´Kim!!” Chay was so nervous that it showed in his voice
“Hey” Kim answered, after a comfortable silence took a small wooden box and gave it to Kim
When Kim opened it he fought the urge to smile so widely his jaw was gonna hurt,
It was a smart guitar pick with the initials K and C in it.
“It's a special edition there is only one in the entire world, this is my gift as a thank you, for actually being there with and for me P´” Chay said beaming at Kim
´Gosh im not worthy of you, you should leave´ Kim thought ´But no worries i´ll make that step for us, please forgive me angel , i don't deserve your love..´ Kim was losing his small smile at this point and Chay noticed
Before the situation could get any more awkward Chay begin
“P´Kim you that song actually…” Chay looked at Kim nervously
“P´ do you remember when you asked me if i liked someone and i answered yes?...”
´Please don't do this to me´ -Kim thought
“Actually P´ I think u know them…” - Chay continued
´Dont confess to me i´ll crumble´
“Basically P´ the song was for him and he…”
“HEACTUALLYLIKESMEBACK” -Chay said fast and shy
“hmmm…” ´Wait…WHAT?!’ “WHAT?!” Kim expressed his thoughts
He noticed Chay wince so he repeated again more quietly
“What?”
“Yes P´ two days after i show you the song, since you didn't say anything about it i took it as it was good to go so when i met him and confessed to him, and he actually likes me back, he also confessed to me that day” -Chay said while blushing so bad
Kim was not functioning.
Kim lost his senses
Kim was not logging
“And who.. how…”-Kim finally got out but not able to form full sentences
“As i said i think you know him, he is a senior from the university 2nd year P´Mark, we meet while i was doing the tour on the open days, the same day as you, and he also has been helping me the days you were busy P´ “
“I see…” was all Kim could say
“I will get going P´, i have a date to go, keep in contact P´i would love to be your friends and spend time hanging out , Bye P´!!” And with that Chay goy out of the studio
´Was i just ?´ ´Nah not possible´ ´Did he just-´ Kim kept asking himself , still standing still in the same place
Yes ladies, gentlemen and non binaries , Kim Kimhan Theerapayakul has just been FRIENDZONED