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Everything is glowing, shining, shimmering, all so bright that it hurts Ivan’s eyes. His face is warm and his tummy is flipping and there is electricity sizzling in the ends of his fingers. His knees are shaky, every step he takes is unsteady, and he doesn’t think he can speak.
And it’s all because of the dark-haired man in front of him.
Yao is laughing, happiness sparkling in his deep brown eyes. Several pieces of ebony hair have escaped his ponytail, and they frame his face, fluttering gently in the wind. He reaches out to grip Ivan’s hand, pulling him forward, and Ivan gasps.
Yao rests his head on Ivan’s shoulder, a content sigh slipping out of him. “Thanks for inviting me over today,” he murmurs. “It’s beautiful outside, and…” He gazes up, giving Ivan a small smile. “Being with you makes it even more beautiful.”
Ivan’s face breaks into a massive grin, and he squeezes Yao into a hug that lifts him straight off the ground. Yao squeals, kicking his bare feet back and forth in the air. More laughter rings out from Yao, and he slowly lifts his legs until they’re wrapped around Ivan’s waist, ankles crossed at the base of Ivan’s spine.
“Mm.” Yao leans forward until his forehead touches Ivan’s.
Ivan can’t move, can’t breathe, can’t speak, Yao is so close. Yao’s so much more beautiful up close. Ivan can see all these details that he wouldn’t be able to see from any other position. Yao has a small freckle near the corner of his lip, and another beneath his right eye. Soft, wispy flyaways stick up near his ears and nape. In normal lighting, his eyes are a chocolate brown, but in the sunlight, they transform into two pools of honey.
Yao chuckles, wiggling against Ivan’s tight grip. “Alright, alright. You can put me down now.”
Ivan gently sets Yao down in the green grass, then sinks down next to him with a soft sigh. Yao sprawls his body over the ground, the grass tickling his fingertips. The sun is warm against his face, and he squints against the brightness. He reaches out, takes Ivan’s hand in his own, and holds it against his chest. He lazily plays with Ivan’s fingers, tangles them with his own, kisses each one of his snow-white knuckles.
Ivan gulps. Flames are blazing low in his stomach, and the hairs on the back of his neck stand up straight. All the colors that surround him are breathtakingly bright, from the lush green grass to the clear blue sky to the burning gold of the sun.
Yao shifts his body, shuffling closer until his breath fans over the curve of Ivan’s neck. It’s like the rest of the world has vanished, and all that exists is him and Ivan, lying together in the grass.
“Yao?” Ivan eventually says. His voice is soft, almost a whisper, and something about it has Yao listening intently, hanging onto his every word.
Yao swallows and leans in, only stopping when he can see his own reflection in Ivan’s deep violet eyes. “Yeah?”
“I love you. I don’t even know how to describe the way I feel for you. When I’m with you, I just feel so warm and happy and… I feel like I actually belong.” His face is adorned by the barest hint of a smile. “I’ve spent my whole life feeling like I scared away everyone I met, but you…”
“You’ll never scare me away,” Yao promises. “Never.”
Ivan swallows, his violet eyes glittering. “And when I’m with you, I just wish I could make time stand still, and make it last forever, you know?”
Yao feels like his head is spinning. Ivan’s hair is so pale that it seems to glow in the sunlight, shimmering like a halo. His lips are soft and pink and parted ever so slightly. Yao’s heart is on fire, and a lump rises in the back of his throat. He cups Ivan’s face with both hands, then sweeps in and captures Ivan’s lips in a hard, deep kiss.
Ivan’s eyes shoot wide open, a tiny squeak of surprise leaving his lips.
Yao throws his arms around Ivan’s shoulders, gently pushing him down into the grass. Ivan is stroking his back, running his hands up and down the curve of his spine, urging him on. Yao’s lips part, tongue meets tongue, and a slight tremble passes through Yao’s body.
It’s perfect. It’s Ivan’s taste, his touch, the soft little sounds he makes, the warm sun and the rich smell of soil, all coming together to form what feels like heaven on earth.
~~~
Ivan’s never felt more alive.
Even after Yao heads home for the night, giving him a quick, sweet kiss on the lips goodbye, Ivan’s heart is soaring. The two of them had stayed outside for hours, talking about every subject imaginable, exchanging stupid jokes, and of course, kissing.
Ivan makes his way up the stairs, still smiling broadly. When he steps into his bedroom, he nearly gasps out loud when he sees his reflection in the mirror. He turns bright red. Well, he certainly looks like he’s spent the entire afternoon making out with his boyfriend in the backyard. His hair is a mess, his lips are red and swollen, and his white sweater is rumpled, littered with smudges of dirt.
Ivan chuckles and fiddles with the hem of his shirt. I probably should change out of this. Let’s hope the stains come out in the wash. He tugs his sweater over his head, and as he does, the scent of grass and soil fills his nose. But hidden beneath that earthy smell is something sweeter, something that makes his cheeks grow warm.
It’s Yao’s smell, vanilla and rose petals, and Ivan is fighting the urge to squeal as he hugs his sweater to his chest. He tosses his dirty sweater into the hamper, selects a clean t-shirt from his dresser, and slips it on.
Scenes from today flash through his mind. Yao’s bell-like laughter, Yao leaning on his shoulder, Yao’s thin fingers interlocked with his own… Ivan smiles.
And he can’t help but hope that right now, Yao is smiling too.