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Summary
The urge to do it again is there, like a daily reminder, reminding him of the people he hurt, of the pain he deserved. This time he resists. He doesn’t want to disappoint JJ. But it’s only a matter of time until he’s too tired to fight the thoughts. Until he is too tired to fight for himself.
What scares him the most are the times when cutting doesn’t satisfy his urges, when it doesn’t help the way it should, despite how deep he goes and how many times he does it. He tries not to let his thoughts go this way but sometimes he can’t stop it and that scares him, because what is he capable of when he lets these thoughts be thought? He wants it, knowing he shouldn’t. It’s not his first time thinking about the ‘easy way out’.
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What happens after Spencer Reid is released from prison and pushes away the people he needs the most in times like these?