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“Again! Again!” A little blonde bob ran circles around her grandmother, who was kneeling on the Uzumaki family’s floor trying to high-five her.
A game of strategy and skill that the toddler naturally came up with herself.
Her mother washed the dishes from dinner with Himawari, who had just switched out with Hinata.
Sarada just stared into the bubbly water. Hearing her child laugh and squeal made her happy, but something made it so she couldn’t even fake a smile if she wanted to.
Boruto was on a mission, as per usual, and hadn’t seen Sarada or their daughter in almost a year. When she was a newborn, it wasn’t so bad. But as their baby got older, it became harder to juggle taking care of her, work, and self-care all at once, and she was really feeling the stress.
“Hey,”
Sarada looked up to see Himawari’s blue eyes staring back at her.
“I’ve been worried about you lately. Are you okay?”
She didn’t know how to answer that question, so instead, she just said “Oh, yeah. I’m just tired.”
Hima didn’t seem convinced. “You just seem sad. I just want to make sure everything’s alright. If you need some time alone, we can take her on your off day, or if you don’t need some time alone, we can do whatever you need. Just let us know,” She gave her her signature Hima smile.
Sarada tried to draw her mouth up convincingly. “I appreciate it. I just need to stay busy.”
Before she could finish her last sentence, they heard a knock at the door.
“I’ll get it!” Hima yelled as she made long strides to the front door.
Sarada heard the door slide open and Hima say, “Oh my God! What are you doing here?”
She looked at Hinata, who looked back at her and smiled knowingly.
“Sarada come here!”
Dishtowel still in hand, she walked into the hallway to discover her husband hugging his sister with one hand and taking off his shoe with the other.
He looked up as they broke their embrace. “I was wondering where you guys were. I went to the house and it was empty.”
“Yeah…” Sarada’s voice dragged, laced with shock and confusion, “I didn’t think I would have to leave a note.”
At that moment, there was no way to pinpoint her feelings. Surprised? Yes. Relieved? Definitely. Angry? Not that she’d admit it.
She turned her head and noticed Hinata whisper something in her granddaughter’s ear.
“Daddy’s here?!” It continued to amaze Sarada how such a loud voice can come from such a small person.
The pitter-patter of four-year-old footprints came running around the corner and a happy squeal came from her the moment she laid eyes on her father, who gave her his signature grin as she ran into his open arms and picked her up. They were both smiling and giggling as he kissed her cheeks and tickled her sides.
Sarada leaned against the wall and watched the interaction, the first feelings of joy in months spreading across her chest. But they were soon replaced by overwhelming sadness so strong that she stepped back into the living room and made a beeline for the porch door.
“Are you alright, honey?” Hinata asked as she moved swiftly past her.
“I just need some fresh air.”
Which was the truth. Her head was spinning.
Her bare feet touched the cool grass of the Uzumaki’s backyard. Boruto and Himawari’s old swing set sat in the far back of the yard. Naruto insisted on leaving it up when he found out Sarada was pregnant even though the safety of it is definitely questionable.
Only when she was alone did she finally let her tears fall, feeling so much pressure on her head and her chest she felt like she was about to explode. Sitting on the swings, nose between her knees, she wished for just one second, everything could slow down.
She heard the sliding glass door shut and already knew who it was before she looked up. She tried to slow down her breathing as if she wasn’t having a breakdown on his swing set.
He sat down on the swing next to her as she wiped her eyes on her pink sweater sleeve Hinata knit for her.
The swing set felt heavy somehow, like the weight of their adult bodies didn’t belong on it.
“Are you okay?”
Sarada sniffed and smiled unconvincingly. “I will be. I’m just overwhelmed. Between work and the baby, I feel like I can’t breathe. And what I’m feeling is totally unjustified because your mom and sister usually take her while I’m working. So why do I still feel like everything falls on me?”
Boruto sighed. “I’m sorry I haven’t been there to help you.”
Pushing past the chains that kept them from tumbling to the ground, she leaned her head on Boruto’s shoulder. “It’s not your fault. You have your responsibilities outside of our little bubble.”
“Right, but I’m her father. And your husband. And you’ve been through enough. I know how you really felt about Master Sasuke being gone all those years. Whether you admit it or not, it really affected you. I don’t want our daughter to grow up not knowing who I am. That’s not fair to any of us.”
He was right, she knew, and she hated how much he knew about her feelings about her father. She never talked about it, only saying what would paint her dad in the best light, because despite everything, he was her biggest supporter in everything she decided to do, the first person to encourage her dream of becoming Hokage, and the first person after Boruto she told about her pregnancy. Sarada didn’t even tell Sakura until she walked into her office and slyly asked her for an ultrasound and blood test, knowing the reaction that would get.
She was sick of having this same conversation over and over, but she was also so exhausted that the idea of fighting with him because of hurt feelings over things neither of them could control brought new tears to her burning eyes and spots on her glasses.
Instead, she decided to just get the depressing question over with. “How long will you be home?”
“Ah, that’s another thing I came out here to talk about.”
Head still against his shoulder, she wiped her eyes under her glasses. “What, two days?”
“No,” Boruto said as if this was suddenly a guessing game.
“God, a few hours?”
“Nope,” he said as he chuckled.
“This isn’t funny Boruto, would you please just…”
Interrupting her mid-sentence, he said, “I’m here indefinitely.”
She lifted her head up, looking at him in disbelief. “What did you just say?”
“Indefinitely. They gave me as much time as I wanted. I told the Assembly that I needed to be with my child, or they would no longer require my connection to humans.”
Sarada just stared at him. “You’re lying.”
“I promise you I’m not. They were PISSED. I’m going to work out a deal where I make the monthly meetings, do a mission once in a while, but it won’t be anything like it was. I told Dad the same thing.”
She was already crying again before he could finish. She hated crying in front of people, but she couldn’t stop this if she tried.
He stood up, leaving the swing behind as he grabbed her hands and gently guided her to stand, and wrapped his arms around her.
She inhaled, smelling forest and fire and metal and cheap soap, everything that was her shadow.
He let her cry against his shoulder for a minute, trying his best to be comforting and reassuring at the same time.
Moving his hands to gently cup her face, he kissed her forehead. “Look at me.”
She opened her glassy dark eyes, barely seeing his blue through the tears and the night.
“Let me take care of putting her to bed tonight. I miss doing that anyway. You may have to tell me what to do because I’m not sure if her routine has changed…”
She chuckled.
“But I’ll do it. I can make you some food if you want, although I’m sure my mom fed you, but if you’re hungry. We can take a shower and lay in bed and talk, cuddle, sleep or watch a movie. Whatever you want to do. Okay?”
She nodded, a real smile taking hold and staying there. His nervous babbling was still cute, even through the years and the long distance.
Boruto let her head rest back on his shoulder, and he laid his head on hers, kissing the top of her head.
“I love you, you idiot.” He heard her mumble into his shirt.
He grinned ear to ear and held her tighter.