Chapter Text
It had been two weeks since Nico got out of the infirmary.
Not much had changed.
He had insisted over and over that he was fine, that no, he didn’t need anyone’s help. And now that he really was fine there was a small part of him that wanted to go back
so that he could see him
no, he wasn’t going to think about that.
There wasn’t much to be done after Gaea’s fall. Nico hadn’t done much but lament the loss of his aviator jacket and try to keep as much time as he could to himself. He had been instructed by the Apollo kids to eat more, but since the battle he hadn’t, and they pestered him almost daily once they saw how baggy his clothes were getting to be. Nico was already too skinny, he didn’t need to lose any more weight, he knew that, but he couldn’t help it. Meals in the mess hall had always been a source of stress for him, and lately they had been even worse.
Nico was always made to sit at the Poseidon table with Percy and his friends, who were nice and loud and funny, but during conversation Nico always found himself drifting, his eyes and his mind. And he always felt himself drift towards the same thing, that person, like gravity across the dining hall.
The Apollo table sat two tables from Percy’s. Nico liked looking at them. They were all so close with each other, brothers and sisters all over each other. The table was so bright that Nico couldn’t help but stare, and in the middle of the gleam was Will Solace.
Will was beautiful.
Nico had tried, had tried really hard, to describe it another way. But he couldn’t. Everything about Will; his face, his smile, the way he carried himself, just screamed beauty in a way that made Nico’s head spin. He tried to ignore it, tried to look at Piper or any of the other Aphrodite girls, but he always caught himself turning back to look at Will.
And the worst part was that Will had caught him staring. Not once, but several times. Nico would be looking in his direction, and all the sudden Will would look up and their eyes would meet. Will would smile, his blue eyes shining, and give a small wave or nod or some other cute mannerism that made Nico blush
don’t blush!!!
but it didn’t matter, he still did. Then Nico would look away hurriedly and the next few times he gathered up the courage to sneak a glance at the Apollo table, Will would still be looking at him. At that was around the time where Nico would say he was done eating and retreat back to his cabin.
Will and him never talked.
Besides the embarrassed glances and mandatory meetings, Nico tried to avoid him as much as he possibly could. It was just awkward to be around Will, the opposite of himself, all happy and laughing and light. And after the infirmary, Nico was embarrassed. He didn’t like to be seen as weak. Of course Will had tried his hardest to make Nico feel welcome amongst his siblings, but NIco, not being used to it, found the constant cheerfulness hard to stomach. As well as the nagging feeling that he and Will should be alone. The more he tried to ignore his feelings for Will, the worse they got.
It didn’t help that he no attraction to girls whatsoever. Hell, he didn’t even know if Will was gay. To most people, it was probably pretty obvious, but Nico didn’t want to assume anything until we was sure. And to make it worse, he didn’t have a crush on Percy anymore. At least he could handle having a crush on Percy, because it had been there in his mind for so long, something normal, almost like an afterthought. But no, Will was new and in his face and was, Nico feared, not leaving anytime soon. It made him uncomfortable how often he found himself thinking about the other boy, almost like Will was invading his space. He was not going to admit he had a crush on him. They didn’t even talk.
who are you kidding?
He forced himself to climb out of his thoughts.
Around him, his team was getting ready to play capture the flag. Percy caught his eye, Annabeth helping him to fasten his armor straps. As he watched, she smiled at Percy and he smiled back, and the whole thing seemed just so natural and open that Nico’s heart hurt. He looked around for Will, before remembering that he was on the other team. Before remembering that he wasn’t supposed to be looking for Will.
All the sudden someone clapped him hard on the back, and Nico was sent pitching forward, his half secured armor creating unfortunate momentum. Just as he thought he was going to lose his balance
thank gods Will isn’t here to see this
the person behind him grabbed his armor straps and hauled him back up, laughing. Now Nico knew who it was.
“You weigh like ninety pounds, man, even with armor!”
“Hello, Jason,” Nico said moodily.
“Who were you looking for?” Jason asked, walking around to Nico’s side. He wasn’t wearing his glasses, probably for fear the would be broken in the game. Nico couldn’t blame him. Capture the flag at Camp Half-Blood could get rough, even by Roman standards. Even though Jason hadn’t had glasses for very long at all, it was still weird for Nico to see him without them. Their absence made his face look strangely unformed, which wasn’t true, since Jason had always had his chiseled Roman features. His face was so different than Percy’s, and yet something about them was the same. Nico had never really felt attracted to Jason really, though he had to admit that he was good looking. He was just a little too perfect. And too perspective for comfort.
“I’m not looking for anyone,” said Nico, looking away towards the woods, to maybe make it seem like he was contemplating some kind of battle plans. Yeah, that was it. Battle plans.
“Sure,” said Jason. “Met any new friends lately?”
Nico scoffed. Jason knew full well what his response would be.
To Nico’s surprise, Jason looked concerned. “You should really get out more, Nico,” he said. “You’ve been spending a lot of time in your cabin, and you haven’t been eating. You should come hang out with us sometimes, you know everyone, they’d be glad to have you-”
“Thanks,” Nico snapped, then immediately felt bad. He knew Jason was only trying to help. He was just trying to be nice, liked everyone else. Like Will.
“Sorry,” Nico said. “But I have it under control.”
“Just checking. If you ever want to, you have an open invitation,” said Jason, smiling. His smile always looked a little lopsided to Nico because of the scar on his lip. But it made it look more genuine.
“Thanks,” Nico said softly.
“Hey, don’t worry,” Jason said. “It’s all cool.” He paused. “Your armor’s not tight enough.”
Nico tensed, like he always did when people touched him. Jason noticed.
“Chill, man, I’m just fixing it.”
“It’s just a reflex,” mumbled Nico, embarrassed.
“What are you going to do when you get your first boyfriend then?” asked Jason as he pulled Nico’s strap as far is it could go. “Man, it’s still too big.”
Nico drew in his breath sharply. It still bothered him to hear people, even Jason, discuss his sexuality openly. Even though all his friends knew for a fact and everyone else suspected it, he didn’t want everyone to know just yet. Maybe in time. If the right time ever came.
“Don’t say it so loud,” Nico whispered, taking a step back.
“Come on,” Jason said, now whispering back. “I’ve seen the way you stare at Mr. Sunshine from the Apollo cabin.”
Nico gasped slightly. Had it really been that obvious? “I don’t stare at Will,” he said, too quickly.
“You know, everyone can always tell when you’re lying. You’re so pale that you blush. I know you’re looking at him. What, did he spell-bind you with ‘doctor’s orders’?”
“No!” Nico sputtered. “I don’t even talk to him.”
“You should. He smiles back at you.”
“Why are you always looking at me? Don’t you have a girlfriend?”
“I’m worried about you. You’re our little Nico,” Jason said, grabbing Nico and putting him in a headlock.
Nico tried to pretend that it didn’t hurt, but what with Jason’s huge arms, it kind of did. He swatted the bigger boy off of him. How did Jason know about Will? He inwardly groaned. He would never hear the end of it. Darkness in love with the sun. But he knew Jason was good about keeping secrets. He had kept the original one after all.
Nevertheless, he was glad when Percy and Annabeth walked up to them. As Nico watched, Percy’s armor slid out of place again, despite Annabeth’s efforts. Nico stifled a smile. That was Percy for you. Annabeth had told them once that Percy had made her watch Finding Nemo with him three times in one day. Nico was pretty sure he would have crashed after thirty minutes. But Annabeth was a good girlfriend. Nico was glad that he had put aside himself so he could appreciate how symbiotic their relationship was. It just worked. It didn’t seem like it would, but it did.
Percy was still good looking as ever; his tan skin and piercing eyes, lean muscles. Those eyes used to send a start through Nico, and they still did sometimes. But not that much anymore. Percy was just neutral. Not as comfortable as Jason, but in all honesty, just a friend now. Nico was glad that they had kept at least that, after everything they’d been through.
“Hey, you guys, get in formation!” said Annabeth. She narrowed her eyes. “Nico, your armor’s practically falling off you. You need to eat some food.”
“Oh really? Everyone only tells me that about five times a day.”
“Relax, Nico. I was just kidding,” Annabeth said, smiling her patient smile that she seemed to use the most often with Percy during his ADHD moments.
“Sorry,” said Nico quickly. “It’s fine.”
“Let’s get going,” said Percy. “That flag’s not gonna capture itself.”
“That’s lame, bro,” Jason said as they walked towards the woods, and Percy half-smirked.
“You’re lame, bro.”
“Not as much as you, bro.”
“Stop saying bro,” said Annabeth, pretending to be exasperated. “You’re both stupid.”
She giggled as Percy kissed her loudly on the cheek, pulling away. They headed in the trees in the opposite direction, and neither Jason nor Nico felt like following, feeling like they would interrupt something.
“I’m heading up, see if I can’t surprise them from the back. You coming?” Jason asked.
“Nah, I’ll think I’ll stay around here,” Nico said.
“You sure?”
“Yeah.”
“Fine. We don’t want to super strong people going at Piper at the same time. She might faint. See you after we’ve won.”
And with that, Nico watched him disappear into the foliage.
The starting signal went off soon after that, and Nico found himself at a loss for ideas. He ambled around aimlessly for a while. Maybe he could try seeing if he could scout out the other team? He was about to turn around when suddenly the ground beneath him gave way and he felt himself falling.
He tried to stop himself, putting his arms up to try and cling on to something, but only managed to scrape his arms against some protruding branches. He cursed fluidly as he hit the bottom hard, dust momentarily clouding his visions. He touched his arm, and found it wet. His fingers came up red. Damn it. Of all the things he could have encountered in the woods he had fallen for a stupid pit trap. All because he hadn’t been paying attention.
He was just about to somehow try and climb up the sides of the pit
why the hell was he so small?
when a face popped into the circular opening above.
oh shit
Nico hurriedly pretended that he wasn’t trying to rock climb a smooth dirt wall.
Will Solace’s face looked down at him, a look of mingled surprise on his face once he saw who his victim was. And then came a look of horror that was so exaggerated that Nico wildly thought he would laugh.
“Oh my gods, are you okay?” Will yelled from up above. His voice sounded so concerned that Nico almost died a little. He forgot to say that he was okay. He was, anyway, now that Will was here.
“You’re bleeding! Oh no, I don’t have a first aid kit or bandages or anything-”
“I’m fine,” Nico said, flustered. He flashed a thumbs-up. Gods, why did he have to do that? That was as lame as Percy. Jason would have a field day if he was here.
“Hold on, I’m gonna get you out of there!” said Will, and turned away from the opening.
“Wait, what are you-”
A rope was dropped into the pit. Nico was embarrassed. He figured that Jason or Percy could easily get out of the hole on their own, hell, probably even Annabeth or Piper, but what with his complete lack of upper body strength he was secretly glad someone had come to rescue him. Who knows how long he would have been stuck. But really, of all people, it had to be Will to rescue him out of such a humiliating situation? He gritted his teeth and tried to make it as easy as he could for Will to hoist him up.
After what seemed like ages Nico rolled out onto the forest floor, coughing dirt. He realized that Will could potentially feel obligated to help him up and rose to his feet before that could happen. But Nico instinctively pulled away as Will took his arm in both hands anyway, trying to look at the scrape along its side.
“Sorry,” Will said nervously. “Does it hurt to touch?” Nico noticed that Will was fighting for dominance between his doctor instincts and the nervousness the between the two. Nico hated it. But at the same time it came him as a cheap thrill, to feel that awkward tension between them, just to know there was something there.
“It’s fine,” Nico said dismissively. “I can still play.”
“No!” Will blurted out, before falling silent, embarrassed. “What I mean is, that I- we- should clean it. It could get infected and develop into something serious, you know.” He scratched his cheek
oh my gods he is so fucking cute
and looked at Nico, eyes expectant. It reminded Nico of a dog looking for his owner’s permission to do something. That was it. Will Solace was a puppy. Nico was a cat.
that came straight out of left field. ....
Nico tried to clear his head of the frantic, wild, thoughts that filled it. WIll still looked at him expectantly.
“Look, Nico-”
Nico tried not to show the thrill he got from hearing his name roll of Will’s tongue. He had never heard his name sound more musical, sweet-sounding, in his life. He could listen to that for hours.
“I really think you need medical-”
“Yeah, sure,” Nico said quickly, ending the matter.
“Great!” said Will, taken slightly off guard. He beamed at Nico, standing there.
“Let’s go then?” Nico said cautiously.
“Oh, right!” Will laughed a little too loudly. “Let’s go.”
As he started walking Nico saw him shake his head a little. At least Nico wasn’t the only one that was inwardly smacking himself at his stupidity. Though to him, he doubted Will could say anything stupid. Everything that Will said was so freakin cute that it made Nico want to
let’s not think about that right now.
The walk back to camp, though fairly short, felt like ages for Nico as he trailed behind Will, afraid to speak. Though they were the roughly the same age, it was embarrassing how different they were. Had Will’s shoulders really gotten that broad in such a short time? Or had Nico just not noticed? His friends told Nico that he was getting taller, but Nico seriously doubted that. He was convinced he was shrinking. Bianca had always told him that one day he would hit a growth spurt. Nico hoped it was soon, before everyone could get too much taller than him.
As they walked, Nico listened to Will hum. Will had a strange selection of tunes, boy bands to Journey, and always in that slightly, ever so slightly out of key tone. Nico once had that crazy urge to jump in. But every time he worked up his courage to, his nerves would bite it back down. He ran over maybe thirty conversation starters in his head, but just as he would open his mouth, he forced himself to rethink.
That’s too childish. That’s too generic. That’s too boring. Uhhhhhh whyyyy
When they reached the infirmary, Nico stood in the doorway awkwardly. He remembering having stayed there not long ago, laying on the bed, or being stubborn and sitting up and refusing to sleep. He would never admit it, but he liked watching Will work, when he was so in his element.
“You can come in and sit down,” said Will, opening the cabinet and producing bandages.
Nico sat down on the bed, his heart racing. He had seen Will heal people before. It usually involved touching them.
He drew in his breath as Will approached him, pulling up a chair in front of him.
“Give me your arm,” said Will. He acted so much like a real doctor that Nico suppressed a smile.
“Your arm?” said Will again, smiling. Nico was entranced, almost, he felt like someone from the Hecate cabin had put some magic on him. He felt dazed.
“Oh right,” said Nico, trying to smile back. He tentatively held out his arm, mentally cringing at how skinny it was compared to Will’s toned ones. As Will grasped his arm he tensed at the touch, even though he had tried as hard as he could not to, for once.
“Just relax your arm,” said Will helpfully, looking it up and down, wiping the blood off with a towel soaked in stuff that stung. Nico winced against his will. Come on, he was better than this. He had survived freakin Tartarus. Antiseptic wasn’t going to do anything to him.
“I know, it stings,” added Will. “Believe me, I’ve worked with it enough that every time I get so much as a paper cut it manages to find its way there. Here, I’m done.” Will threw away the towel and scooted closer, causing Nico to lean his face back.
“Okay, here goes,” said Will. His hands were warm and steady against Nico’s arm, and Nico marveled at how strong yet delicate they seemed, broad enough to wield a sword but intricate enough to pull back an arrow. They were artist’s hands, from his father; long fingers and a deft touch. Nico remembered the electricity he had felt when Will had first touched him, after he had delivered Hedge’s baby. It was the same thing now. He hadn’t gotten any more used to it.
Will began to hum Apollo’s hymn, the Ancient Greek softly flowing out of him like it was more natural than English. Nico watched, transfixed, as the gash on his arm slowly shrank and faded, until it resembled no more than a two week old remnant. Will lowered Nico’s arm carefully.
“There.”
“Thanks,” said Nico shyly, getting up to leave.
“Wait!” said Will, jumping up from his seat. “I need to put a bandage on it!”
Nico looked at the practically closed wound. “I don’t think-”
“Doctor’s orders,” Will breathed, looking Nico in the eye.
Nico’s heart skipped a beat. Those blue eyes could swallow him, he could drown a thousand times.
Doctor’s orders. How many times had Will said that, when he was here last? It had become almost a running joke between them; a small, unspoken one, but one that Nico considered to be there. Why hadn’t he talked to Will since then?
oh yeah, because every time I try to I can’t say anything.
Nico allowed himself to give a small half smile that he prayed wasn’t as awkward as it felt. His chest flooded with relief when Will smiled back, shyly, but a smile nonetheless.
Nico let Will press his arm with bandages. He was about ninety percent sure it wasn’t necessary, but a tiny part of him hoped madly that he would end up having to stay in the infirmary forever. But most of him was scared at Will’s touch, and the close proximity. He wanted to distance himself, to dissolve into the shadows, where he could keep his thoughts and his feelings to himself. He forced himself to be brave.
Why was it that he could face monsters, gods even, but he couldn’t look Will Solace in the eye? He could handle shadow traveling across continents with a freaking statue strapped to his back, but he couldn’t deal with the simple touch of his fingers?
“So, how’s camp?” Will asked as he secured the bandage.
Nico jumped. He hadn’t been expecting anything to be said.
“It’s fine,” Nico said quickly, trying to hide the embarrassment he felt at being caught off guard.
“You’re in your cabin a lot,” said Will. “What is about it that’s better than the rest of camp?”
“It’s not that it’s better,” Nico said slowly. Will had finished with the bandage, going to the sink now to wash his hands.
“What is it then?” Will asked, his back to Nico.
Nico tried hard to come up with an answer that wasn’t a complete lie, because he knew the truth
It’s because I’m still not used to all these people and because I’m scared about how I feel about you
one hundred percent, no doubt.
But what he said was, “I don’t know.”
He felt a surge of affection when Will only nodded, and didn’t pursue the topic. Everyone else always bothered him, asked him why he was so introverted. He’d think they’d know by now. If Will knew, he didn’t let on. Nico hoped he didn’t know. He got even more nervous just thinking about it.
“Oh,” said Will, clapping his hands. “While you’re here, I have something to go over with you.” He opened a bottom drawer and extracted a laminated sheet, emblazoned with the food pyramid.
“I’m not in first grade,” said Nico, turning red. Why was it such a problem with everyone when it came to his eating habits? He was the son of Hades. He could eat like he wanted to. So if that meant a bag of chips one day and nothing the next, that was how it was going to go. Sometimes he was hungry, sometimes he wasn’t. It also didn’t help that every time he went to the dining hall he had to face the glance-off with Will. And if Jason had picked up on it, who knows who else had?
“Actually,” said Will, sitting across from him again, “you’d be surprised how many adults don’t even know what a balanced diet looks like. You need your strength, Nico. I have no idea how you kept yourself going during all these battles you’ve gone through.”
Figurative or literal battles?
“So, if you’re convinced you know this already, name the food groups.”
“How many are there?” asked Nico. They didn’t have this stuff back in the forties and thirties.
“Five main ones.”
“Okay, umm… vegetables?”
“Good!” Will looked so genuinely pleased that Nico found it hard not to smile.
“And then, fruit. I don’t know about the other ones.”
“Meats and proteins, dairy, and grains. You need to eat a certain amount of servings each day. You haven’t been doing that, right?”
“Not really. Does anyone do this exactly though, really?”
Will flushed. “Well, not really. But you should try to. The number of servings isn’t really the point.”
“But you just said that.”
“Nico!” Will protested. As soon as he said it, he looked embarrassed. Nico was too. Had he annoyed him? Gods, he hoped not. Just as they were getting into a sort of banter. Why did he always have to screw everything up for himself? The short conversation had surprised Nico. He felt awkward. He wanted to get out of this tiny room. It was becoming claustrophobic.
no no no no why do I always have to get like this just when I’m actually getting somewhere?
Will was smiling, his nice, easy, smile. But it did nothing to reassure Nico, instead, it just made him more aware of his own awkwardness in the room.
“Just take the sheet,” Will said, and as he leaned in to hand it to Nico, Nico recoiled fast, too fast.
“Are you okay?” asked Will, looking confused. He cocked his head to the side.
“I’m fine,” said Nico, grabbing the laminated sheet as quickly as he could from the beautiful hands, trying not to touch them.
I can’t let this happen. I can’t have a crush on him.
why did I mess this up?
why am I so scared?
“I have to go,” Nico said. “Thanks for everything.” He rose from the bed and headed towards the door, clutching the sheet tightly in his hand.
“Oh, uh, bye,” said Will from somewhere behind him, but Nico was already letting the door close behind him.
He felt terrible.
You’re pathetic.
He cursed himself all the way to his cabin.