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The look on Charles’ face during the red flag is enough to put Alex on edge. The last time there was a crane on the track Jules had died. He looks haunted, like all of the ghosts in his life have caught up to him in this moment and it hurts. Alex wants to go to him, to wrap him up and take him far away from here, to somewhere safe. But they are supposed to stay at their garage and Alex resigns himself to fixing everything after the race if he can.
They do end up finishing the race, but Charles gets a penalty, robbing him of 2nd place and of any hope of stopping Max from winning the championship. Bad things come in threes as they say.
Alex goes through media on autopilot, the usual lingering anxiety of media barely on his mind. In fact, the only thing on his mind is Charles. He couldn’t shake the look on Charles’ face for the rest of the race, even though he was stuck in the garage, unable to even distract himself by racing. Instead, he replayed the incident over and over again in his head, how close Pierre had come to hitting the crane. Pierre of all people, Charles’s best friend, one of the only people Charles had left… Alex couldn’t let himself go there.
“Alex,” Pierre’s crisp French voice cuts through the mess in Alex’s head, “Have you seen Charles?”
He shakes his head, “I was planning to go see him, after media.”
“Good,” Pierre clasps his shoulder, “He’s going to need you.”
“Do- Do you want to go?” He doesn’t want to overstep, never one to insert himself if he’s not wanted. He learned that a long time ago.
“I will go later but-“ Pierre takes a shuddering breath, “I’m in no space to console him.”
Alex nods, taking Pierre’s hand as he turns to go, “I’m glad you’re okay.”
Pierre gives him a small smile and squeezes his hand before he gets pulled away to his next interview.
After getting the okay from his PR team, Alex heads in the direction of the Ferrari garages. Carlos nods at him as he passes and Alex has to stop his brain from thinking, what if someone had hit him when he’d spun.. would he still be here?
He pauses outside of Charles’s room to collect his thoughts. Alex knocks once.
“Who is it?” Charles’s voice is muffled through the door, but Alex’s heart flutters anyway.
“It’s me,” Alex answers, “Um, Alex.”
“Alexander!” Charles opens the door, a see-through smile plastered on his face.
He lets Alex past him into the driving room, everything decorated in Ferrari red. Alex hates Ferrari red.
“How are you doing?” Alex sits down on the couch, reaching for Charles, who’s stepped just out of reach.
“Fine.”
“That was a lie,” Alex gives him a stern look.
“I am fine, Alexander. Why would I not be?” Charles tries for playful, but it comes across as strained and Alex just wants to touch him.
“Should I give you the full list?” Alex crosses his arms.
Charles doesn’t say anything, just watches him quietly.
“We don’t have to talk about it,” Alex sighs, “I just thought maybe you’d want to. It’s okay to be upset.”
Charles opens his mouth to say something and then shuts it.
Alex reaches out again, “Can you just come here then? We don’t have to talk.”
He watches as Charles seems to consider it.
“For me?” Alex asks.
And that seems to get Charles to move. He’s nothing if not giving. He crawls into Alex’s embrace, tucking his head into Alex’s chest. Alex rubs his lower back gently, pressing his lips against Charles’s hair.
“Charles, love,” Alex says quietly, “You’re so strong and brave—but I wish you knew you don’t always have to be. I’m here, if you’re willing to let me help you shoulder those burdens.”
Carefully, quietly, Charles looks up at him. He meets Alex’s soft brown gaze, and Alex can see the war of emotions behind Charles’s beautiful green eyes. He’s straining to let go so badly, the last few voices in his head pushing against it. Alex rubs his hip lightly, urging him on.
“I’m here, you’re safe,” he repeats, “You can let go.”
Charles closes his eyes against the sobs that escape. All of the emotion of the race, of the tractor, of Pierre, of Jules, of the season, it all comes out. He falls forward, his whole weight against Alex.
“Good, good,” Alex murmurs, “You’re so good, I’m so proud of you.”
Charles sniffles, tucking his head further into Alex’s neck as his boyfriend whispers sweet nothings into his hair.
“How could they do that?” Charles cries, letting it all out now, “After- after everything?”
“I don’t know, baby,” Alex brushes his back lightly, “But they won’t get away with it. George has already been on the phone with them.”
“Really?”
“Mmhm. Everyone has your back, Charles.”
“I don’t want to let them all down,” Charles says it so quietly that Alex barely hears.
He readjusts them, pulling Charles upright so he can cup his jaw with one hand. He needs Charles to hear him, to see that nothing matters except them, right here, right now.
“Firstly, none of us care if you win. Obviously, I want to see you up there lifting the trophy. But I don’t love you any less if you’re not. And neither does Pierre or George, Lando, Carlos, Lewis, Seb… Do I need to go on?”
Charles shakes his head and Alex curls closer, pulling Charles into his chest, “Secondly, it’s not your fault that you’re not on the podium. It’s been a shit season, everyone sees that.”
“Shit because I can’t keep the car on the road,” Charles mumbles, sniffing.
“No, shit because your team can’t figure out how to do a pitstop or a basic strategy,” Alex grips Charles’ hips tighter, holding him in place as he goes to squirm away, goes to argue with Alex.
“As I was saying,” Alex continues, “I want to be here for you when things are good or bad, okay? Let me help you.”
“Alex,” Charles sighs, “You have so many other things to worry about.”
“Yes,” Alex shrugs, “But I’m your boyfriend. You count on my list of things to worry about. Rank pretty high actually.”
He pokes Charles's chest gently, “And I’m very happy to have you to worry about.”
Charles wraps his arms around Alex's neck, “Promise?”
“Charlie,” Alex looks him dead in the eye, “I’d rather have every single moment with you, the good and the bad, than not have you at all. I love you.”
Charles smiles softly and a warmth spreads through Alex from head to toe.
“Can we please go home?” Charles presses a kiss to Alex’s cheek and untangles himself from Alex’s lap, “I want to cuddle somewhere where my teammate is not going to walk in on us.”
“Of course,” Alex stands up, shoving his hands in his pockets as he watches Charles move around the driver’s room, picking up his things. “We can order food and take a bath! Or we can watch a movie, or we can go watch the lights of the city from the roof or- “
“Alexander,” Charles interrupts, setting down his bag and pressing up close to his boyfriend, “Have I mentioned how much I love you?”
Alex blushes, “Maybe.”
“I love you very much, but I am not doing all of those things. Let’s pick one.”
Alex presses a kiss to Charles’ lips, “Deal.”