Archive of Our Own

“Josh, it’s been an hour. How many times are you going to watch that stupid video?”

Josh ignored his older sister and immediately pressed the replay button the moment the video ended.

“He covered a new song! He’s so good, Ate! Don’t you think he’s good?”

Yuna rolled her eyes at him. “Joshie, everybody knows this Ken guy is good. You’re not the only one.” She flicked his arm teasingly. “You know, at this point, I think Ken’s more popular than you.”

Josh shrugged. “We don’t run in the same circles. He’s a dancer and I do gaming videos and give people advice.” He also danced a little on his social media accounts sometimes, but JCS was more well-known as being a gamer and a talker rather than a performer.

“I guess complaining and ranting is called giving advice now.” Yuna rolled her eyes at him again. Josh tossed a cushion at her face and then ran to his room when she tried to chase him.

Josh had been vlogging for about two years now. He had stumbled into it by accident, starting off by posting random videos that showcased his love of gaming and his tendency to share nuggets of wisdom. (Ignore what his sister said. She knew nothing. Josh gave great advice.) Viewers seemed to like him and his page had slowly grown until he actually became pretty popular.

Now, JCS was a well-known content creator—never call him an influencer, Josh hated the word.

So far, Josh had weathered the rise and fall of other content creators in the same field, especially because gaming videos were still a bit of a niche community. So the sudden appearance of Ken, a dancer who was slowly and steadily gaining popularity, wasn’t really something he was worried about.

And because of that, Josh could fanboy in peace.

Ken posted dance covers and choreography videos, and Josh had to admit that he was a bit addicted to Ken’s channel. Just a bit. 

(He was lying.)

The funny thing was that he didn’t even know what Ken looked like. No one did. He was always wrapped up in jackets and sweaters, jeans, and sneakers. Sometimes he wore sunglasses, and maybe a cap or a beanie to hide his hair, and he always wore a black facemask, always.

He couldn’t completely hide his face all the time though, and Josh and all of Ken’s other viewers had been treated to daring glimpses of tanned skin, a sharp jawline, and really mesmerizing dark eyes that crinkled at the sides when Ken smiled behind his mask. Then there was his voice—a deep and sultry bass that had Josh shivering. Ken had a great voice, low, dark, and as smooth as melted chocolate.

If it wasn’t enough, he also had a cute and fluffy Persian cat named Kuro who he absolutely doted on. There had been one video where Kuro had been meowing behind him and Ken had turned around, took his mask off, and kissed his beloved cat. He had fixed his mask before turning back to the camera. Josh had been obsessed with that video for weeks.

Ken’s videos didn’t just showcase his pretty cat. He also frequently featured his friends, who were also dancers, namely his best friends Maverick and Justin.

Maverick and Justin had no problems showing their faces, even if Ken was with them all covered up. Josh had spent days stalking their social media accounts after that, but even if Ken had popped up in some of their videos, he had still been wrapped up from head to toe. Some videos that had featured his face had even blurred him out. It seemed Ken’s friends were the protective type.

Josh also followed their accounts, aside from Ken’s, and turned on all notifications. You never know. They might slip up and Josh wanted to be the first to see it.

If his dancing wasn’t already amazing, Ken had also started to show off his musicality, sometimes singing and playing various musical instruments in his videos.

Josh could admit, even just to himself, that he was honestly gone on the man. Because Ken, in all his mysterious glory, was literally his exact type—attractive (even with the mask on), talented, charismatic, and a dedicated fur dad. Could he be any more perfect?

It was driving Josh crazy.

So much so that he channeled most of his frustrations through his JCS channel. It got to the point that his fans had started to comment on how absolutely savage he had become in his recent games. He won an award for a gaming competition the same week Ken released a video of himself singing a cover of ‘Sexy Lady.’ Josh even broke some sort of record.

It seemed being sexually frustrated was a good motivator.

Yuna kept teasing him about it, but Josh couldn’t help it. He was single and obsessing over some guy on the internet, and the best outlet was shooting fictional characters online.

(When he got sick of his sister’s teasing, he changed their home internet password and didn’t give it to her for three days.)

So Josh continued on with his videos, except somewhere along the way, his viewers caught on as to why all of his energy was focused on murdering characters online—that Josh was maybe, slightly, possibly, probably, pining over someone.

sleepysloppy: Is Kuya JC having relationship problems?
privaken: i thot he was single
cmq532:  who’s ur cursh jcs?
joshcullenmylove: Kuya JC! Crush me back! I’m single 2!

Josh read the comments during some down time on his stream.

“Yes, I am single, which means that I’m technically not having relationship problems,” he said, biting onto a Pocky stick. “I do like someone, but it’s just a crush. And you’re all sweet for offering, but I’m fine.”

(He was not fine. Especially because about a week later, Ken released a snippet cover of the song ‘Can I Be Him’ by James Arthur.)

(Oh, if only.)

But that casual comment of his about a crush opened the floodgates, and every once in a while, Josh found himself unable to help mentioning this guy that he might have a teeny, tiny—but actually monstrous—attraction to.

Some of them thought it was Stell, Josh’s oldest and best friend, who sometimes played games with him, but was more well known for his heavenly voice and amazing song covers. Stell took it all with good humor, and more than once he would tease the viewers about the identity of Josh’s crush.

“Hey, cuties! Have you all seen JC’s new Nike Air shoes?” Stell asked during one of his guest appearances on JCS’s livestream. Josh liked having Stell around. He was popular among his viewers because of his handsomeness and sense of humor.

Stell showed off Josh’s new black sneakers. “Josh got this recently. He really wanted the red pair after he heard that someone else bought one,” he giggled, “But he decided to get a matching pair instead.”

Josh sometimes wondered why no one had caught on to Ken’s identity, considering the fact that Ken had worn a pair of those shoes just two days ago during one of his dance videos and his fans had immediately started talking about it. But it also made sense. Josh was a gamer and Ken was a dancer. Most people wouldn’t think their worlds would collide.

But it had, and Josh had bought a pair for himself immediately so that they matched, even if it was just in Josh’s dreams.

(He wasn’t the only one with the same thought, because some of Ken’s more dedicated fans had also bought those shoes.)

dyas10: cool ng shoes mo idol. ung friend ko may ganyan!
chenyowwa: josh! laro tayo ML!
kissme568: i love you kuya jcs!!!
privaken: wat kind of videos does ur crush post jcs?
cmq532:  try mo yung bagong horror game kuya josh!

“I really like how the shoes looked so I bought them,” Josh said, and just because he couldn’t help himself, he had to add, “And the guy I like posts dance videos.”

His followers went crazy.

Several weeks later, as Josh’s obsession continued with the dancing god in human form known as Ken, something miraculous happened.

Josh was streaming at the time and commenting on the new skins that had come out in his favorite video game. He was in the middle of a lively debate with the viewers who were commenting on his chat box when his phone suddenly buzzed. He grabbed it to check the notifications.

“Ah, sorry, guys,” he said to his viewers. “Let me just mute my notifications. And is my background song still too loud? You know ‘Die For You’ by The Weeknd is my favorite song at the moment.”

(Ken had actually covered the song a few months ago, but Josh had rewatched some of his videos and was now obsessed with it. Also, he didn’t want to be too obvious by immediately stanning Enhypen's ‘Future Perfect’ when Ken had posted a dance cover of that one just two days ago. Josh had to pace himself.)

Josh noticed the preview on the notification tab and gasped.

“Holy shi—oot!”

thegrandestdeepest: the New Era skin is still the best jcs. i dunno what the hell ur talking about.
dyas10: 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀
redthehaze: JCS ANG GWAPO MO TALGA!!!
cullenizest: Is this a sign to start playing the game? Wala po ako alam sa online games eh.
bunbunnyjosh026: kuya josh? are you okay? are you choking or something?

Josh was actually sort of choking. On air.

Because Maverick had just posted a photo of Ken on his page. It wasn’t like his other photos, with the man covered up or sometimes even blurred out.

Maverick had posted a full-bodied photo of Ken… with his face revealed.

It looked like a stolen shot with Ken standing in the studio where he and his friends usually danced. He was in a gray band t-shirt, tattered black jeans, and those red Nike Air shoes. He had his hands in his pockets and was smirking at something off cam. There was no cap to hide his gorgeous red hair and no mask to hide his face.

It was captioned: ‘for the greater good @kensnsn.’

Josh stared at his screen for so long that his viewers started getting worried.

029674230: Kuya josh?
shewhochasesjcs: did my screen freeze or
jcs-ko-to: Is JCS even moving?
dyas10: sabi na! best thing ever!
pogiakokasisabiko: HAHAHAHAHAAAHGDHAAHAHG
taptaponpon: His face is pink! He’s so cute!

“I’m sorry, guys, but I… okay, seriously. I just—”

Josh ignored the questions piling up on his screen. He had to comment on this. He had to. Even if it got buried under everyone else’s. This should be celebrated or maybe declared a national holiday.

He commented: ‘ you are a god among men, sir. thank you. #blessed.’

Not even two seconds later, Maverick liked his post. 

What?

It immediately sent Josh’s reply right at the top of the pile.

And Josh forgot that not only were his viewers smart and devious detectives, but that they also most likely stalked other social media personalities. Not even five minutes later, comments were appearing on his stream.

mariannarima: kuya josh just commented on kuya mav’s post! And kuya mav liked it!
dyas10: YESSS!!! WE KNEW IT!!
joshbemyboy: JCS HAS A CRUSH ON KEN????!!!!!
privaken: wait what seriously!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
pogiakokasisabiko: I KNEW IT! I CALLED IT! FUCK YOU GUYS I WAS RIGHT!!

Josh ignored the comments flying on his screen and studied the photo. He had mostly noticed Ken’s profile at first glance, but now…

There he was, Ken in all his beautiful glory—tanned skin, kissable lips, high cheekbones, sharp jaw, and those come hither eyes, all topped off by that gorgeous mop of red hair.

He was ridiculously beautiful.

mariannarima: he called him beautiful on camera! sajfkhlsdjghha! kill me now!
purpleme28: I SHIP THEM!!!
joshbemyboy: Joken’s the ship name! I’m trademarking that!
dyas10: HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAA SABI NA KEN! WE WERE RIGHT!

“Oops.” Josh blushed and rubbed the back of his neck. That slipped out. “I guess that’s me caught then.”

He was a bit embarrassed, but he couldn’t hide the giddy feeling in his chest.

Now he knew what Ken looked like.

After that, another set of floodgates opened, which was Josh openly thirsting for Ken.

He wasn’t that lascivious about it. He was a content creator with an audience ranging from teens and up. He knew his limits. But he wasn’t at all shy about sharing his thoughts to his viewers about Ken’s posts every once in a while.

After that face reveal by Maverick, Ken had reposted that photo on his own social media account, which had sent everyone into a frenzy. Josh had debated on commenting on the photo. He wasn’t stupid enough not to notice that some of his bolder fans (or maybe trolls) had tagged him a few times on some of Ken’s videos and posts. Thankfully, they didn’t really run in the same community, so Ken probably didn’t know him, or at least didn’t care.

Josh had liked the photo instead. That was probably enough.

After that, Ken still kept his face covered and wore about ten layers’s worth of clothes, but sometimes he wouldn’t wear a mask. Josh liked every single one of the videos and photos where he saw Ken’s face. It wasn’t as if he didn’t like Ken even when his face was covered, but positive reinforcement couldn’t hurt, right?

It was Josh’s birthday one particular day, and he was celebrating via a livestream with a special raffle for his fans. He wasn’t into giving away actual money to people, so the prizes ranged from pledges in their name for his chosen charity, a one-on-one game of the fan’s choice, or a fifteen-minute group chat.

genericusername: THANK YOU PO SA RAFFLE KUYA JCS!
pogiakokasisabiko: JOSH COMMENT KA KAY KEN!
shuriken: sana mabunot din ako sa raffle!
kenjcs: kuya jcs have you watched Ken’s new dance video?
inevitablejoken: jcs polaroid raffle winner cutie huhuhuhuhuhuhuhu

“I like all of Ken’s posts. I’m a bit embarrassed to comment though.” He squinted at his screen. “And yes, I've watched Ken’s cover of ‘The Eve’ by EXO? I watched it and replayed it a few times. Ken’s really, really good. He’s amazing, really.” 

‘Watched it’ was an understatement. Josh practically cried over every body wave, hip thrust, and hair flick in that damn dance cover. It was actually taking all of his control not to gush and scream and cry all over his livestream. After he had watched that cover, Josh had ended up beating his personal record on one of his shooting games. It was ridiculous.

An alert suddenly popped up on his phone. Josh actually ignored it for a few minutes at first, busy raffling off some of his exclusive polaroids to his fans. By the time he checked it, about six minutes had passed.

It was like all his birthday wishes had come true at that moment.

Ken had uploaded a full song cover.

“Fucking hell?”

Oops, that slipped out. 

Josh’s computer started pinging as alerts came in from curious fans asking what Josh was ecstatic about. It didn’t take too long before other commenters started mentioning that Ken had posted a video.

Josh debated with himself for a moment and then decided to hell with it. 

“You know what? It’s my birthday and I’m a fan, so let’s all watch Ken’s new song cover together.”

dyas10: sabi ko na!! yessss!!!
pogiakokasisabiko: KAILANGAN KO TONG I-RECORD!
kapitancullen: kuya josh, sana mabunot po sa raffle!
privaken: you’re going to watch it now? on your livestream?
jokenislife: kinikilig na ako wala pa /lomoha
princess-pitch09: bunot ka muna sa raffle kuya!!!

“Yes, let’s all watch Ken's video together,” Josh said as he added the video to his livestream. “Also, guys, I’ll apologize in advance for my behavior, but if you don’t like it, feel free to leave.”

Josh had to take a deep breath before he pressed play on the video. He felt a little self-conscious, but he wouldn’t be a content creator if he didn’t have a thick skin and a proud face.

“Okay, let’s start.”

He checked that he was in frame, and then pressed the play button.

Ken was sitting on a black leather couch with his guitar. His red hair was fluffy and unstyled, and all he had on was a sleeveless tee—oh, fuck, Josh wanted to weep—and black jogging pants as he cradled an acoustic guitar. His nails were painted black and he had no face mask on.

And holy shit, he had tattoos on his arm.

“Oh, I am not going to survive this,” Josh murmured, only to realize belatedly that he had said that loud enough for the mic to catch.

ohemjosh_0215: gumugulong nako dito kuya josh!! grabeeeee!!
dyas10: this is the best thing i’ve ever seen in my life!
pogiakokasisabiko: @dyas10 NAGRERECORD NAKO!
dailydoseofjosh: we’re not going to survive this too kuya!!!
hophappybunny039: bakit sobrang kinikilig akooooooooooo
dyas10: @pogiakokasisabiko send me a copy!!

Ken faced the camera and Josh placed a hand on his chest. Damn, the man was handsome.

“It’s a special day today, so I thought I’d do something different for my covers and play a song,” Ken said. He licked his lips and Josh was pretty sure he just had a mini heart attack. “So, uh, I hope you like it…” he coughed, “That all of you like it, I mean.”

He strummed his guitar.

“This is ‘Runaway’ by The Corrs.”

“Oh my god,” Josh whispered. He ignored the comment box, transfixed at the video.

The video was short, but Josh honestly couldn’t remember what he did or said during the viewing. He was pretty sure he had mostly been quiet. He might even be drooling.

 Because more than the dance moves and the soulful voice, there was just something about Ken that made Josh’s heart clench sweetly.

When the video ended, Josh turned to the camera, wide-eyed. 

“This is honestly the best gift I’ve ever received in my life. I mean, I know it’s not for me, but… I mean… it’s…”

Josh opened his mouth, only to close it again. 

What could he say?

“I think… I think that’s all we’ve got time for today. Honestly, I’m a mess. I’ll make it up to you guys and, uh, I’ll get in touch with the raffle winners, and yeah, I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”

The livestream stopped abruptly and Josh’s viewers were left confused but absolutely thrilled, especially when Josh commented on Ken's video, finally .

joshcullen_santos: i feel honored that i even got to listen to it, thank you ken, you’re amazing #blessedonmybday

If Josh thought his birthday surprise was over, it wasn’t.

Because after his hundredth replay of Ken’s life-changing and heart-melting song cover at eleven in the evening just before his birthday ended, Josh received a private message from none other than Maverick Lacson.

It was a video, with Ken on the thumbnail.

Curious and a bit nervous, Josh pressed play on the video.

This was a time when Josh was thankful he wasn’t livestreaming or sharing this moment with the rest of the world, because the video featured Ken, handsome and stunning and gorgeous, seated on a black leather couch…

…and watching Josh’s livestream from earlier.

Josh had to pause the video and breathe.

What the hell was going on?

He sat up, squished himself against the bed’s headboard, surrounded himself with about ten pillows for emotional support, and then hugged one to his chest before he could continue watching it.

Josh watched Ken through the video like a starving man. Someone was snickering in the background, most likely Maverick. Justin suddenly appeared on video, sending the camera a thumbs up and a wink before disappearing behind the screen again.

“JCS is actually going to stream his reaction to your cover, you idiot,” Maverick said. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I’m dreaming and probably going to wake up any minute,” Ken murmured, eyes on the screen.

Justin scoffed. “Dude, the man already told everybody he has a crush on you. How can you still be dreaming?”

“Shut up.” Ken’s face was a bright red, but he didn’t look away from the screen.

Josh felt his heart skip a beat. God, Ken was so cute.

Josh heard himself talking on screen, but he ignored that to focus on Ken’s reaction.

Ken was silent as he always was in his usual videos, and he simply sat there, hands over his mouth and eyes flitting about as he watched Josh onscreen. But Josh could see it clearly—the way his eyes would crinkle when Josh would gush over his voice, the redness on his cheeks that grew darker the more he watched, and the way his eyes sparkled.

At one point, Ken murmured something, so low but just loud enough to get caught on video.

“Damn, he is really, really pretty.”

Josh would have screamed into his pillow, if he could. But at that moment, he couldn’t breathe.

When the Josh on screen cut the livestream, Ken sat there for a few moments, as if dazed.

“Hey, Ken. That's just a song, right? For Josh's birthday? You aren’t going to literally run away with him, are you?” Justin asked, snickering.

“I’d run away with him in a heartbeat and leave you two idiots,” was Ken’s immediate answer.

“I’d say that’s romantic, but you sound like a stalker, bro,” Maverick commented.

“Ken is a stalker,” Justin said. “Dude, you’ve been watching Josh’s videos since even before he was popular. It’s been, like, almost three years.”

Josh gasped. Ken, what?

“You would have kept pining if Mavi hadn’t posted that face reveal and Josh hadn’t commented on it,” Justin added.

“So, you know, you’re welcome, and don’t kill us for this,” Maverick said.

“Don’t kill you for what?” Ken asked, turning to them, only to pause. “Are you recording this? What the fuck? MAV! JAH!”

Both guys screamed and scrambled away when Ken started to chase them. The recording started bouncing along with Maverick’s phone. It made Josh dizzy, but he watched and listened, amused.

“Send it, Mavi! Send it!” Justin shouted.

“Wait! Wait!” Maverick hissed. “Let me—JCS commented on your video!”

“He did?” Justin shrieked. “Let's look! Where's my phone?!”

“He said you're amazing, Ken!” Maverick shouted. “Look! JCS comm—”

The phone whipped around in time to catch as Ken tripped over his feet and fell on his face on the floor. Justin and Maverick burst out laughing. As did Josh, giggling into his hands.

Ken scrambled to stand. His face was so red, and there was a round spot on his cheek from where he had fallen.

“I'm going to kill you two!” he hissed.

The video ended in chaos as Ken tackled his friends, sending the phone flying and the video ending.

Josh watched his shadow across the dark phone screen. Even then, he knew his face was red and he was smiling so wide his cheeks hurt.

Well. 

Well.

Ken kicked his shoes off at the doorway to his condo. He was tired, but he still smiled as he bent down for Kuro, petting him.

“Hey, Kuro-chan,” he said softly, scooping up his baby and walking towards the living room.

It was about two in the morning, but Ken had decided to spend a few minutes at the gym working off his thoughts and his embarrassment. After the mess earlier with Maverick and Justin, it felt like Ken had ruined his chances because of his friends' stupid reaction video. Ken was so embarrassed he couldn't even think of a reply right when Josh finally, finally, commented on one of his videos.

It was just as well. Josh probably thought Ken really was a creep or a stalker.

Ken sighed. His friends were so stupid and annoying. This was all their fault.

His phone buzzed in his pocket and he set Kuro down before checking it. He was glad he did so, because once he saw who it was, he might have accidentally strangled his beloved cat.

Because Josh had sent him a private message.

Ken slumped down on his couch. His heart was beating so fast.

He opened the message. It was a video.

“Shit. Shit, what is this, Josh?” he murmured.

He tugged at his hair. He was suddenly nervous.

He played the video. It took him a while to get it, but when it did, he resisted the urge to punch something in giddiness.

It was Josh’s reaction video to Ken’s very first dance cover. Ken’s hair was still black then, before he had changed it to red in what he had hoped would gain him more attention. (Josh’s attention, to be precise.)

It was obviously filmed within the hour. The window behind Josh was dark and there was a clock hanging overhead that showed the time. It wasn’t even edited, just a simple point and shoot. But Ken could sense the implication.

That meant… well, obviously Ken hadn’t been vlogging as long as Josh had, but maybe that meant he had been watching Ken for a long while too.

Ken bit his lip, trying to hold back his excitement as he watched Josh. Josh's laptop was on his knees, but his phone captured his face. He was smiling as he watched Ken dance, his bunny smile showing through.

Damn, he was cute.

After he finished watching, he noticed that Josh had sent him another message.

joshcullen_santos: Wildflower Cafe, Marlim St, Friday, 12:30pm
joshcullen_santos: if ur free?
kensnsn: i’ll be there
kensnsn: can’t wait
joshcullen_santos: me too 😘
kensnsn: 🥰