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The Detective Boys' name never made sense to Ai. Sure, the gender balance was heavily skewed before she joined, but what about Ayumi? The girl who loved everything pink, girly, and pretty? It seemed hard to just forget about her while picking a name.
She asked Conan before, but he said it was a mystery to him too because he wasn't involved in the process. The name was suggested and accepted before he could get a word in, and his mind was too occupied with their current case to question it. Fortunately, Ayumi was currently with Ai, so it would be easy to permanently get this question off her mind.
"Hey Ayumi." Ai tapped on her shoulder to get her attention. "Why do we call ourselves the Detective Boys?"
Ayumi blankly looked at her without seeing any contradiction. Then her face lit up as she had a realization. "Oh! Does it bug you? We can change it if you want!"
Ai waved her off. "I don't really care. It's just..." She sighed. Apparently she would have to spell it out. "...aren't you a girl?"
Ayumi stayed silent for a few moments, and put her hand to her chin in a clear imitation of Conan's thinking pose. Finally, she leaned forward and quietly said, as if confessing a dark secret, "I'm not sure?"
"Huh?" Ai raised a brow.
"Do you ever wish you were a boy?"
"Only to escape misogyny."
"To escape… what?"
Wait, Ayumi was still at the age where she didn't notice discrimination. Or at least, not beyond complaining about Conan, Mitsuhiko, and Genta being overprotective towards her. Ai considered how she would simplify the concept to a child before answering with,
"It's when you're treated differently just because you're a girl."
"That sucks..." Ayumi looked sympathetically at Ai without making a connection between the concept and herself.
Neither of them could think of anything else to say. They continued to sit together in awkward silence until Ayumi got distracted and wandered off to play.
Several days later, while Ai was watching the rest of the Detective Boys play soccer, Ayumi left the game and groaned as they plopped down next to her, "It's not fair! Why does some old guy get to say what I am!?"
"What?" Ai had no idea what Ayumi was talking about. But it sounded like they needed her to lend them a sympathetic ear. She calmly put her book down and looked over.
"I asked my parents why I'm a girl, and all they would tell me was some doctor said so when I was born! What does that even mean!?"
"That sounds frustrating." Ah, this again. Ai didn't know what to say, but the trick Agasa taught her seemed to be an adequate way of showing sympathy. She was starting to wonder if there was more to Ayumi's gender issues than a childish lack of awareness.
"You're good at phila… philo… philosophy, right? What's a girl anyways?"
Had Ai ever really thought of it? There was never a reason for her to question her own gender. It just wasn't a significant part of her life.
Sometimes she wondered if her life would have been easier as a man, before concluding that it wouldn't make much of a difference. A male Shiho would still be born into the Black Organization. Her instinctive answer was to say it's a classification based on reproductive organs. But that answer didn't seem sufficient to her friend.
Ai wasn't sure if that answer satisfied her anymore either. While she was researching to try to find answers for her sexuality (because now that she's free she wants to figure out who she is as a person and not as a tool), she heard about transgender people and intersexuality in humans.
Further digging lead her to believe that maybe gender and sex aren't as simple as two binary categories determined from birth. It wasn't hard for her to process new information on sex. It made sense, and any scientist worth their salt would alter their perception when facts conflicted with their former one. But gender was a different matter.
Every definition seemed to be a subjective approximation that failed to capture the whole truth. There was nothing Ai hated more than being unable to understand a concept. Trying to make sense of it only resulted in a sleepless night in front of her computer and a massive migraine.
She eventually concluded that she'd rather not waste her mental energy on trying. Whatever it was seemed to be highly personal and none of her business. Finding out ultimately wasn't important to her. But it was for Ayumi.
"Does anyone truly know?" Ai asked, directed less at Ayumi and more towards the universe as a whole.
"That sounds deep, but you didn't answer my question…?" Ayumi looked disappointed that their wisest friend couldn't figure it out. Didn't she know everything?
"I don't think I'm qualified to." Ai's normally flat expression held a hint of frustration. "Although I suppose I could help you find some books on the subject..."
"When should we go to the library!?" Ayumi was cheerful now, without any sign of their former exasperation. "Do you think I could figure out something that even you can't?"
That last sentence earned them a glare from Ai. She may have given up, but she still had her pride. "...Sorry."
"Are you free after school tomorrow? And I wouldn't mind if you joined me while I go clothes shopping afterwards."
"Oh! Yes please! " Ayumi was practically vibrating with excitement. "Thank you thank you thank you!" They pulled Ai into a quick, tight hug before running off to rejoin the game, while turning back to wave along the way.
Ai chuckled at the sight as she fondly watched Ayumi dash around the field with renewed energy. She made a mental note to put together a research plan for tomorrow before returning to her book.
The Detective Boys had stumbled onto yet another murder case. After their self introduction one of the suspects scratched his head as he stood over the children.
"Why do you call yourselves the Detective Boys? What about the girl?" he asked as he eyed Ai.
Ayumi struggled to maintain his serious expression as a smile threatened to spread across his face. Giving up the pink, frills, and dresses he loved was hard, but it worked! Someone thought he was a boy!
"Actually, there's tw-" Conan started to correct him before Ai elbowed his ribs, hard. He cut himself off when he looked towards her to see the glares Ai (and to a lesser extent, Genta and Mitsuhiko) shot him.
Ugh. Sometimes it felt like nobody told him anything. Conan had no clue what her deal was, but he did know when to shut up.
Ai stepped forward to address him. "Don't worry about it. I don't mind."
The suspect worried about it anyways, but it didn't matter. Seeing him after the case was unlikely. Conan's obliviousness, on the other hand, did matter. Someone had to take care of it before he slipped up again.
Ai waited until she caught Conan alone to clue him in.
"Oh great detective ..." Ai sarcastically hissed while keeping her voice low. "Ayumi doesn't like being referred to as a girl."
"Hm? Why not?" Conan didn't even attempt to hide how baffled he was.
"That's a question for Ayumi. But have you really not noticed how we've tried to avoid it for the last few weeks?"
Ai wasn't actually surprised, despite how harsh she was acting. Conan was great at picking up on facts but social cues tended to go over his head. And unlike English, gendered third person pronouns aren't used often so Ai, Mitsuhiko, and Genta hardly changed how they talked about Ayumi.
"Now that you mention it, I was wondering why they were saying boku instead of watashi…" Conan said, referring to how Ayumi switched to a more masculine first person pronoun. He thought Ayumi was just trying to be more tomboyish. But now he wasn't sure.
"Shouldn't you use that brain power on catching the murderer instead of wasting it on the intricacies of first graders?" Ai asked, using her judgemental tone to shut down that line of thought.
"Ah, right." Conan picked up on her implied it's none of our business. They had much bigger secrets than the real kids, so there was no need to pry into theirs.
"Great. I'm gonna go check on the kids. Have fun with your investigation." Ai walked off to find the Detective Boys, leaving as abruptly as she approached him.
Sera wasn't surprised when Ayumi approached her. That kid had been dressing more masculine lately, with pants replacing skirts and dresses, a low ponytail instead of their usual headband, and pink disappearing in favor of blue and white. It didn't take a detective to spot a fellow queer kid. Or to notice how Ayumi's admiration was somewhat different than the rest of the Detective Boys.
"What's up kid?" Sera offered a gentle smile to appear more welcoming. She knew from experience that it was hard to talk about her identity with other people at first.
"Well, erm…" Ayumi was nervously fiddling with the hem of their blazer while looking downwards. "Are you a boy?"
"What?" Being mistaken for a boy stung, but Sera tried to remain calm. Ayumi's been told that she's a girl before. This must be an awkward way of asking about her gender presentation. "No, I'm a butch lesbian."
Sera said the last phrase in English because she was more comfortable with English terms. Most of the queer community she interacted with was in England. That's where she lived most of her life, that's where she figured herself out.
But after a moment, she realized she should stick to Japanese terms to avoid confusing Ayumi and said the Japanese equivalent.
Ayumi tilted their head and put their hand to their chin. "What's a butch lesbian?"
"It means I'm a girl that likes girls, and I dress like a guy." It was more nuanced than that, but for now Sera was keeping it simple.
"Ah! Like Sailor Uranus" Ayumi looked excited at first, but then they wilted. "...so you're not like me?"
"Like you?"
"You're not a girl that wants to be a boy."
"Oh." In hindsight it seemed obvious. Sera wondered how she missed that earlier. "I'm pretty sure that just makes you a boy."
"Wait, so I can just become a boy!?" Ayumi looked at her like she just promised him a lifetime supply of ice cream.
"Sounds like you already are. So, have you talked to your parents about it yet?"
Silence. Guess not.
"Want me to help?" Sera had only met the Yoshidas a handful of times but they seemed fairly accepting. There was a good chance that this would go over well.
Ayumi immediately perked up and nodded furiously. He was still worried about how his parents would react, but he felt so much more confident with Sera by his side! He grabbed Sera's hand and started to run towards his apartment building
"Now?" Sera was caught off guard by his urgency. Is this how it's like to realize that you're queer without being aware of how much society hates you? She would have to caution him later, but for now, she was happy to let herself get caught up in his enthusiasm. "Sure! Why not?"
Ayumi's parents took the news well. It helped that they had suspected it beforehand. They were just glad to know what's been worrying him lately.
Ayumi didn't react nearly as positively when Sera asked which one was Sailor Uranus. She confessed that while she's heard about Sailor Moon, she's never actually watched it.
The rest of the evening was spent binging the series until it was time for Ayumi to get ready for bed. Sera was only allowed to leave after he made her promise to watch the rest with him another time.
Ayumi came up to Ai at recess and interrupted her reading by sitting in front of her, and putting his chin on the top of her fashion magazine.
"Would Genta and Mitsuhiko stop being my friend if I was a guy? And what about Conan?"
"What does that have to do with anything?" Ai sighed and lowered her magazine. She almost brushed it off before she noticed how genuinely worried Ayumi looked.
"Well… Genta and Mitsuhiko have a crush on me…" Ayumi noticed Ai's shocked look. "...and yes, I know! I just tried to ignore it because I don't want to be the girl of the group! I wanna be normal friends!"
Ai nodded in understanding but said nothing. She too avoided acknowledging Mitsuhiko's feelings for her, partly for the same reason. Much of the rest was that it's weird to deal with a kid's crush when you're secretly an adult. And to deal with any crush when you're probably aromantic.
"Would they hate me if me being a boy made them gay!?"
"They're not worth being your friends if they're immature enough to act like that."
"That's easy for you to say... You've only known them for a few months! I've known them for forever! I can't just cut them off!" Ayumi was starting to cry at the thought of not hanging out with them anymore.
Ai put her magazine down and awkwardly patted his head. Comforting was hard, but Ayumi obviously needed it.
"I honestly don't think they'd hate you for that. They love you because you're kind, and sweet, and radiate infectious cheerfulness. Not because they think you're a girl."
Ayumi was starting to calm down, so Ai took that as a cue that this was working and kept it up
"It may take some adjustment, especially if they still like you romantically and realize they're not straight. But they value your friendship too much to turn on you."
Even if Ayumi had started to relax, he was still upset. "What about Conan? I still like boys, so I guess that makes me gay? Would that creep him out?"
Ai couldn't keep from snorting from stifled laughter. Conan was already uncomfortable with his crush because he was far too old for Ayumi. Being a boy wouldn't change that. And with how Conan talked about Hattori, she doubted he'd judge Ayumi. "Trust me, that won't be an issue."
Ayumi gave her a confused look but figured it had something to do with one of Ai and Conan's private talks. Either he liked boys too, or already knew a boy who did and had no problem with it. Should he ask him?
...Nah, Sera said to let other queer people bring it up when they're ready because a lot of "straight" and "cisgender" people are mean about it. He wouldn't want to pressure Conan.
What mattered was that he could tell all his friends he's a boy without losing any! Or splitting up the Detective Boys! He liked their group and would feel bad if he ruined what they had.
Ayumi smiled at Ai, then moved next to her and put his head on his shoulder. "Is it okay if I stay with you like this?"
"Sure, knock yourself out." Ai's tone was neutral, but she had a subtle, fond smile on her face. She put one arm on his back, and put her magazine on her lap so she only needed one hand to read it. Ai was glad that she could reassure Ayumi.
Ms. Kobayashi liked to show up early to get her prep work and grading done. It was just so much easier than doing it at home. There were far less distractions.
And this habit had the added benefit of giving parents an extra opportunity to talk to her about any concerns. So when someone knocked on the classroom door before entering, Ms. Kobayashi turned towards it and put on her best totally wide awake grin.
"Good morning Mrs. Yoshida! What brings you in today?" Ms. Kobayashi looked towards the ground behind Mrs. Yoshida. "Where's Ayumi?" she asked, with worry slipping into her tone. "Is she sick?"
"Oh, no." Mrs. Yoshida chuckled. "He's perfectly fine. But he won't be coming in today." She paused for a moment, not quite sure how to say why. It was still an unfamiliar situation.
"We learned that Ayumi was a boy last night. He wanted to come out at school today, but I recognize that you need some time to prepare first."
"Besides, we need to get him ready too." Starting with asking the Kojimas and Tsuburayas if he can keep the clothes their boys lent him. (Or at least, she assumed they were from them?)
Ms. Kobayashi nodded in understanding. She didn't know much about transgender people personally, but she'd been briefed as part of her teacher's training before she started. Ayumi wouldn't be the first queer student at Teitan Elementary. Speaking of that…
"Has he picked a new name?"
"No, not yet. We've gone back to calling him little A in the meantime!" Mrs. Yoshida fondly smiled at the memory. "That's what we used when he was a toddler."
Then she focused back on the present. "We'll be getting him started on that today. I still have my bookmarks from when we named him, so hopefully that will make the process easier. But we're making it clear to him that there's no rush."
"I see, let me know when he makes up his mind and I'll update the class roster."
"That reminds me, check your email when you get the chance. I forwarded some resources Sera sent me. She said to email her if you have any more questions."
"Thank you! I'm sure that'll give me a great starting point! Sera's Ran's friend, right? The one with the short black hair?"
"That's her! She said she plans on stopping by when Ran picks up Conan." Then Mrs. Yoshida sighed and put her hand to her cheek. "But you really can't be sure with detectives, can you?"
Ms. Kobayashi and Mrs. Yoshida burst into laughter as they recalled how often the Detective Boys came in late, with a tardy note from Inspector Megure and instructions to have their guardians schedule witness testimonies at the station. By this point they had an active groupchat with Ms. Kobayashi, the school secretary, all of their guardians, and a pair of police detectives to streamline the process.
When they settled down Mrs. Yoshida wiped a tear from her eye as she continued,
"Anyways, Ai volunteered to answer any time-sensitive questions before little A gets back. I guess she's been the one he's been talking about it with the most?"
"I'll be sure to talk to her." Ms. Kobayashi was glad that Ai was already supporting him. She made a mental note to ask Ai what would work best for Ayumi during lunch.
They were ahead of schedule for math, right? Surely the kids wouldn't mind having a little chat instead. If anything, getting to skip math class would put them in a good mood and make them more receptive.
Maybe if she was lucky Ai would show up early? But she needed to start reading the materials that Sera sent before making any plans anyways. She glanced at the clock, and sighed in relief when she saw that she still had plenty of time.
"Is there anything else I need to know before you leave?" Ms. Kobayashi asked.
"No, I don't think so. But I'll be sure to send you a text message if anything comes up!" Mrs. Yoshida stood up, while picking up her purse and slinging it over her shoulder. Then she offered her a slight bow.
"Thanks for sparing a moment of your time." She held her hand towards Mrs. Kobayashi.
"There's no need to thank me. That's what I'm here for." Mrs. Kobayashi said as she shook her hand. "Take care!"
"You too. I'm looking forward to seeing you on Monday!"
Akio was excited about coming out to the class! He wished he could have done it sooner, but Sera warned him that sometimes it went badly. So they had to prepare to make sure he wouldn't get bullied.
Akio wasn't worried about that. He trusted his classmates. Genta had always helped him beat up anyone that tried to mess with him anyways.
At least his day off was fun. It had been awhile since their last father and dau- father and son day. He wasn't used to thinking of himself as a boy yet, regardless of how right it felt.
Thankfully, it wasn't what they hyped it up to be. Which was perfectly fine by Akio. All he had to do was write his name up on the board, answer a few questions like a new student, and sit at his normal seat.
When the first break between classes started Akio immediately turned around to face Genta's desk. He impatiently waited for Ai, Conan, and Mitsuhiko to gather around like they usually did before asking, "So what do you think of my new name?"
"It sounds so cool!" Genta exclaimed.
"Like a hero!" Mitsuhiko added on.
"It's a bit on the nose." Ai said with a wry smile. With how Akio's recent fashion was based on a prince, it didn't surprise her when she saw him write his name with the kanji for bright and hero. "But it suits you."
"Says grey sorrow." Conan said the last two words in English while snickering at the meaning behind Ai's chosen name.
"Thanks guys but... who's grey sorrow?" Akio carefully repeated the words without knowing their meaning while tilting his head.
"Conan's being mean about my Sonic OC again!" Ai covered her face with her hands and made her body shake as if she was crying.
The Detective Boys immediately started scolding Conan for picking on Ai while comforting her. Meanwhile, she struggled to hold back laughter. She was enjoying it until they noticed that she couldn't keep up the act and assumed that they cheered her up.
Then they started demanding information on Grey Sorrow and it was Conan's turn to smugly smile at her. She made up a ridiculous backstory on the spot, while filling in details whenever they questioned discrepancies.
By the time they were satisfied, Ai ended up with a tragic, yet age appropriate backstory that was almost as traumatic as her own. Along with a promise to come over to Mitsuhiko's house to recreate her character in Sonic Forces after school.
The rest of the Detective Boys were eager to come over too, of course. And by the end of the night they all made their own Sonic characters. Including Conan, despite his reluctance.