Chapter Text
It’s uncharacteristically warm for early June, at least where they live. The days are warm, at least until the sun goes down. The solstice isn’t for another two weeks, the sun barely lingering at dusk and setting quickly. Still, Taehyung likes the way this early summer, quick to warm and quick to cool, feels against his skin as he leans his head out the passenger window.
Jeongguk’s got one hand on the steering wheel, the other on the gear shift. He tried to teach Taehyung manual but it hadn’t gone well, to say the least. Which is fine with Taehyung- if you ask him, the way Jeongguk looks while driving is unreasonably hot. Maybe it’s just a combination of his focused expression and his intuitive shifting, somewhat nonchalant and relaxed in his seat. Taehyung knows he’s secretly paying close attention to the tachometer.
That, and he knows Jeongguk really doesn’t want to get even a scratch on his father’s car. He’s lucky to have a car to drive. Sometimes Taehyung wonders how their relationship would have progressed if one of them didn’t have transportation.
“Where are we going, anyway?” Taehyung finally asks. He’s always been content to go where Jeongguk goes, simply along for the ride. Jeongguk is just a little too anxious too, more than happy to plan their dates if it means feeling more at ease.
“We’re almost there,” Jeongguk replies. He smiles, but his eyes stay on the road. “It’s not really a place, more of just… a spot? Yugyeom showed it to me the other week. It’s got a great view.”
“This is shaping up to be very 36 and a half minutes into the movie Grease,” Taehyung jokes. Jeongguk gives him a confused look out of the corner of his eye. “Bro, that’s the scene where Rizzo and Kenickie hook up in the car with an expired condom."
“Okay, Mr. Musical,” Jeongguk rolls his eyes. “I’m trying to be romantic with this date but whatever.”
They turn into a gravel pullout on the side of the highway. Really, Jeongguk got it right. The whole thing is romantic. The sun is starting to set, and they’re looking out over several farm fields that eventually bleed away into the ocean. It’s a little blinding to look at, but what could be more romantic than watching the sun set?
“Are you getting out?” Taehyung turns to see Jeongguk already standing outside his door, several blankets tucked under one arm and a small picnic basket in the other. “I was serious about the romance, hyung.”
Taehyung climbs out of the car, eyes still locked on the sunset and the fields and the ocean. It’s as golden hour as it could get. He finally peels his gaze away to see Jeongguk laying out one of the blankets on the hood of the car and climbing up onto the hood, spreading the other blankets across his lap.
“What’s this?” Taehyung faux gasps. “Jeongguk, daring to harm his dad’s car?”
“Just climb up,” Jeongguk laughs, extending a hand to help Taehyung up.
“Wow, really pulling out all the stops, I see,” Taehyung levels Jeongguk with an impressed look upon seeing the chocolate covered strawberries and soda in the basket. It makes Jeongguk blush, which was his goal. “What’s the occasion?”
“Do you really not remember?” Jeongguk asks, surprised. “It’s our two year anniversary of baby Jeongguk’s first party when I got drunk, told you you looked like an angel, and vomited on your shoes. I can’t believe you’d forget about that!”
“I can’t believe you’d hang on to that!” Taehyung exclaims, words muddled by the ginormous strawberry he’s trying to eat whole.
“It was the first time I saw you, can you blame me? If I hadn’t done that, we wouldn’t be dating.”
“Thank you, freshman Jeongguk, for vomiting on my shoes,” Taehyung swallows the rest of his strawberry and snuggles up against Jeongguk, pulling the blankets higher as the sun sets and the breeze kicks up. “You know, those vomit shoes are what got me grounded.”
“You’ll probably have to get used to it,” Jeongguk comments. “I assume there’ll be lots more parties with people vomiting when you get to college.”
There it is.
The real reason for this date: to talk about Taehyung moving away.
Like, they had talked about it. College. There’s no way Taehyung just… withheld which schools he was applying to, no way he didn’t celebrate every acceptance with Jeongguk cheering him on. No way he didn’t tell Jeongguk he settled on a school halfway across the country.
But they hadn’t really talked about them when Taehyung brought up college. He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t given it much thought. Whether or not he and Jeongguk would stay together once he graduated. Jeongguk still has one more year to go, after all.
“Guk,” Taehyung trails off, not sure where to start. “I have until August…”
“And then… what? Hyung, you know me,” Jeongguk laughs at the self deprecating jab at his anxiety. “Don’t make me wait until August to find out if you’re going to dump me or not.”
“Why would I dump you?” Taehyung asks, somewhat affronted. “Kinda rude to assume I would just… dump you after all we’ve been through.”
“Yeah, well, you know what my prospects for dating are, hyung,” Jeongguk points out. “You know everyone in the school. Do you really think I’ll meet someone I like more than you?”
“I mean-”
“The answer is no, Tae,” Jeongguk answers his own question firmly. “Meanwhile, you’re going somewhere totally new. Meeting totally new people. You have no idea what you’ll be facing, which, as a side note, kinda makes me wanna hurl for you just thinking about, but you know. You go with the flow. You like keeping your options open. I would just be holding you back.”
“Okay, two times with the rudeness, this time at yourself!” Taehyung shoulder-bumps Jeongguk, trying to get him to cheer up just a little. “When have you ever held me back? You were the one who even got me to try out for the musical my sophomore year. I wouldn’t be Mr Musical without you!”
“Well, yeah, but-”
“And did you not convince me to talk my manager into a raise from minimum wage?”
“I did.”
“And who convinced me to even consider colleges out of state?”
“... Me.”
“So don’t tell me you hold me back,” Taehyung concludes. “It sounds to me like you’re the one trying to break up.”
“... It was a possible option,” Jeongguk admits weakly. His nose is turning red, which means he’ll probably start to cry soon. “I just… struggle with control. And I don’t want to be blindsided by whatever happens. But my therapist convinced me to, you know, talk about it instead of just breaking up with you.”
“Well, thank Marge for that,” Taehyung sniffles. He’s not quite crying either, but it’s not a good feeling to hear that his boyfriend of one and a half years was considering dumping him.
“You’re gonna go to college,” Jeongguk begins again, voice wavering, but seemingly trying for a fresh start to the conversation. “Everything is going to change for us.”
“But… if I go on with you, can it be the way it was when we met?”
“You want me to vomit on your shoes?”
“Well, no, not that part,” Taehyung rolls his eyes, tears currently at bay. “I just mean… everything will change and be different. I need you Jeongguk. You’re reliable, you know me better than anyone except maybe my mom, I’m just. Going to need some of the same-old-same-old, you know?”
“I don’t-”
“Jeongguk, I’m terrified of leaving,” Taehyung admits, finally. It’s true, what Jeongguk said about him going with the flow and keeping his options open. “I’m scared of college and leaving my family and living in dorms and going into debt and being in charge of myself. Don’t let me be scared of us. You’re my support system, too, not just my parents.”
“Tae..” Jeongguk moves the picnic basket out of the way and throws both arms around him.
“Just try it out,” Taehyung pleads. “I know you don’t like feeling like you’re at the mercy of fate, but it’s not fate, it’s me. And you trust me, right?”
“Yes, of course,” Jeongguk answers immediately.
“So let’s just… see how it goes. We still have, like, four months,” Taehyung says, punctuating his words with a kiss on Jeongguk’s cheek. “We’ll figure it out.”