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OMG! The villa was so much bigger than she could have ever imagined. Chelsea couldn't wait to hang with all the girls. Especially Priya, she was so pretty and cool! They were going to be best friends forever! And obviously kissing the boys would be fun as well. She was so excited!
"I'm so excited! I'm so excited! Are you excited Jakub?"
"Very. Can't wait to crack on with these stunning ladies."
Stunning indeed. Chelsea already knew what they looked like because she had obviously watched every single episode. Priya was totes her fave. Or was it Lottie? Maybe Bobby? Lucas? So many options! She'd even watched some episodes multiple times. She just had to rewatch the cake challenge. Leila's face when Marisol got frosting on her was so funny! Another must rewatch was Hannah's dumping. The poor girl got dumped and then Lottie was kissing her ex-man! Wow! The drama was absolutely couch-arm gripping. It was like those videos of puppies eating lemons. It felt mean to replay it, but she just couldn't look away.
Jakub wouldn't tell the islanders anything about what he had seen so far, other than that the girls were very lovely. Silly goose, we already know that the girls are very lovely! Chelsea knew they must want to hear something really exciting that they've never heard before. So she told them about Lottie's couch-arm gripping kiss with Gary.
Oopsies. Apparently the other islanders did not think this was exciting. Especially Lottie. And now she was in a right pickle! She totally should have brought up how Bobby said he'd be down for a threesome with Hope and Noah. It was so funny when "#BobNopeSandwich" trended on twitter! But what's done is done. No use crying over popped bubbles. And wasn't she lucky, all the bubbles at this party were fresh and unpopped!
"Back away boys! Leila's all mine!" Chelsea had giggled and hugged her.
Leila told her she needed to apologize to Lottie ASAP! No excuses, no reasons, just an apology. So she did. But Lottie was still so annoyed with her. Even though she did exactly what Leila told her!
Priya seemed to like her though. Yay! Priya gave her a big squeeze after Lottie shouted at her. Then Chelsea had given her a friendly kiss on the cheek. Priya was definitely her fave now if she wasn't already. Or maybe Leila? She still couldn't choose! Jakub was totes gonna pick Priya. She's so pretty and wise! But not because she's old! She just happened to give the best advice while also being the oldest. Ack! Stop calling Priya old! She's not old! She's gorgeous and sexy! Old people aren't sexy!
Chelsea had picked Lucas and Bobby for dates. Lucas was so cool. He had a motorbike! And he likes blondes! She's a blonde! They're just made for each other! Bobby was so funny. He loves sweets! There's very few things Chelsea likes more than sweets! They're a perfect match! This is so exciting! Jakub had dated Priya and Hope. Priya and Hope? Why in the world would he do that?! Hope was totes perfect for Noah. And Priya deserved someone better than him. Someone fun, someone who was totes glam just like her, someone who wasn't so self absorbed.
Eep! Chelsea was so excited to prank Jakub. It was totes hilarious when Henrik walked around saying succulent! Henrik was totes succulent though. Even though she didn't have a strict type, rugged outdoorsy men had a certain appeal to Chelsea. Like Rocco! It was such a shame he and Henrik had both gotten dumped already. They were both pretty rugged and hot. Anyway, the word was ding! That's so exciting! Ding! Ding! Ding!
"Mud ain't ding mate." Rahim told Jakub.
"Shame about the mud, this outfit was ding." Leila had sighed.
"You're always ding to me." Bobby had winked.
Mud, yuck! Mud did not go with pink or rose gold glitter at all. That must be why everyone says that you can't put makeup on a pig, it would look totes ugly with the mud! But Bobby seemed to like the mud. The rules of the challenge were, if you read a secret, you have to slide into the mud. Ew! Chelsea so did not want to slide in the yucky mud!
But she just couldn't resist a good secret, so she slid into the yucky mud anyway. How else would she know that Rahim's older brother walked in on him and his ex-girlfriend? That Leila was a sugar baby for five months? Or that Bobby got a cupcake tattooed on his butt cheek for his eighteenth birthday? Apparently Leila already knew that one though, huh.
And who knew Priya did nude modeling for an art class once? Ooo, she probably looked so pretty. So hot. So... ding? Yeah, ding probably wasn't going to be a real thing. But Chelsea totally should have taken an art class. Maybe she could have drawn a pretty nude model.
Chelsea had the most brilliant idea ever! Take the unopened secrets with her! She could read them all, and bonus, no more yucky mud! Turns out some secrets of her own were in there too. Like how she dated her yoga instructor for a month. Oops, she totes forgot about Rosanne! But that was in the past. She hasn't seen or talked to Rosanne for like three years, because Rosanne moved to Brazil! Or was it Singapore?
The best one was that Noah had an ex named Priya! OMG! Chelsea could never date someone with the same name as an ex. So no Rosannes, Stevens, Billys, Francescos, Walters, Quincys, Martins... Thank goodness she had never dated anyone who had the same name as someone here! Although she had hooked up with a Robert before, hmm... Nah he didn't go by Bobby so it was totes fine! And she wasn't into Bobby, he was totes perfect for Leila.
This new revelation about Noah's ex caused major drama! It was so couch-arm gripping. Hope was absolutely furious at Priya! And so was Lottie, for some reason. And they were mad at Leila too, for kissing Noah. Priya and Leila held their ground. Their so cool like that! Meanwhile, Marisol tried to calm everyone down. Chelsea didn't want to be in this argument though. Arguing was totes not fun! So she ended up hanging out with the boys. It was their choice for recoupling after all, so she made sure to bring out all her flirty moves. Like the sexy wink Priya taught her. It was so sexy when Priya did it, surely it would get her in bed with one of the boys.
"Yes, Chelsea, I'm picking you." Noah had said dryly.
"I can't say, it might be someone who's in the area." Lucas had gestured.
Chelsea couldn't believe her luck! Noah, Lucas, Bobby, and Gary were all picking her! Wow! She's so popular! But Noah and Lucas must have lied, because they didn't pick her. But Gary did, which was so... exciting? She definitely loved how much he loved cranes. No way she thought cranes were dumb and boring! But a crane could totes be spiced up with some glitter and maybe an inspirational quote. "Love, Laugh, Lift" just screamed Gary. Jakub had picked Hope, what a twist! Noah had picked Leila, Lucas with Priya, Rahim with Lottie, and Bobby was with Marisol. Priya totes deserved someone better than Lucas though, ruffling a guys hair was literally so cute, but Lucas had a strict don't touch the hair rule.
The girls were going to Casa Amor to meet six new boys! Oh my goodness! How exciting! But that was a teensie tiny bit scary, deep down inside. She hadn't even gotten that close to the original boys, now she had to get close to six others? That's twelve whole boys to choose from! Even though it was a bit scary, it would be so much fun! Girls on tour! Girls on tour! Girls on tour!
"Girls, girls, girls." Hope said, waving her arms.
"Girls! Girls! Girls!" Chelsea continued the chant, Priya and Leila joining in, and Hope just giggled and shook her head.
They had to get to know the new boys by speed dating them. Why couldn't they just normal date? It'd be totes easier to get to know them. Kassam seemed to like Lottie, Arjun liked Leila, and Graham really really liked Marisol. Felix liked Priya, get rid! She totes deserved someone better. Cooler. Hotter. Felix was so not cool, and so not hot. And his last name was Cummings, how sad. Priya deserved a better last name than Cummings.
Priya told her all about how she just wasn't feeling any sparks anywhere. OMG! Chelsea totes had the same experience! And obviously she told Priya such. Priya gave the best advice: don't worry about the bullshit of stick or switch and have fun at Casa Amor. Recoupling is a future us problem, now us doesn't need to worry about it. So wise!
There was a Casa Amor vs Villa Islanders challenge, wow! Chelsea took Elijah into the pool to kiss for her first challenge. He was... good? He was a model, so she shouldn't complain. They had to finish the challenge by sucking each other's toes. Ew! Bobby would probably like this. He revealed in a beach hut confessional that he had a thing for toes. She totes should have brought that up when she first came to the villa instead! Maybe Leila would have gotten some new ideas... Anyway, Chelsea ended up sucking Priya's toes. They were actually not that bad! Priya must have a killer pedicure routine, she's totes have to ask her about it.
When the girls got a video of the boys, Chelsea was so super-duper angry! Gary was taking a girl back to his nan!!! The nerve of that boy! After all Chelsea had done for him, wow. She just couldn't believe he'd take one of those super hot girls back to his nan. They were probably like weather reporters, smart and hot. And they look good in a monsoon. Chelsea decided she was like so over Gary. Cranes are dumb! Cranes are boring! Gary is dumb! Gary is boring!
She's totes bringing Elijah back. He's a hot model, and Gary is a dumb crane guy. Models are cool! Models are exciting! Elijah is cool! Elijah is exciting! Whenever she needed to decided if she was making the right call, she reminded herself of the handbag she has that said "Are you worth it?" Chelsea was totes the handbag, and Gary was so not worth it!
"I'm just like, so over Gary." She just had to tell her new boo, Elijah, all about how dumb Gary is. And how she's totes over him. And how she's definitely bringing him back and not sticking.
Obviously, she had to tell Priya all about how Gary was so not worth it! And Priya told her that she might not have the full picture, as if! She saw everything right there. She's totes done with Gary, no matter what Priya says. But Priya also said that if her heart says Elijah, go with Elijah. OMG! So wise!
Chelsea had made her choice, she was switching and the boy she was taking back was Elijah! Lottie, Leila, Hope, and Priya had all stuck, while Marisol had switched from Bobby to Graham. Gary didn't switch though, oopsies. Neither did Lucas, Bobby, or shockingly Jakub! Rahim had switched to a redhead poker player named Shannon. Noah had brought back a tall girl named Blake. Hope, Lottie, and Leila were absolutely fuming! They broke out into another argument, which was totes un-fun. So she went and found Priya again.
"I can't believe Gary!" Chelsea said. "I was so sure he would take back a hot weather reporter!"
"There was probably more context we didn't get to see than that." Priya reminded her.
"Yeah, but nans are a huuuuuuge deal!" Chelsea had pointed out. "He'd never even said that about Lottie!"
Unfortunately, four couples were at risk for being dumped. Noah and Blake, Chelsea and Elijah, Jakub and Hope, and Lucas and Priya. Priya was up for being dumped?! Chelsea was too, but Priya being dumped? How?! She's totes the full package. Pretty, smart, good kisser (not like Chelsea would know, but she's heard!), financially sensible, good at math, smells amazing 24/7, killer mani-pedi routine...
"I'm gonna be like- so sad if one of us leaves." Chelsea had hugged Priya tight, tears welling in her eyes.
Leila, Bobby, Lottie, and Gary were the only single people (sorry Gary!), and they had to choose one person each to save. Talk about suspense! Chelsea kept her fingers and toes crossed that Bobby and Gary would save her and Priya, she didn't even care if Leila and Lottie saved Elijah. Or maybe it would be better if her and Priya both got dumped, then they could totes hang out all the time after they leave.
Lottie saved Noah, saying he was an important part of the group. True! Leila and Rahim were like, Noah's besties. Plus he was like the sexy dad of the group. Gary went next and he saved Chelsea?! Wow, she was shocked! After all the things she said about him... Leila picked Lucas, he's a total dreamboat! And Lucas totes has a crush on her. Chelsea had fingers and toes crossed that Bobby would pick Priya, she didn't want her to go so soon!
He picked Hope.
Chelsea couldn't help the tears when she helped Priya pack up. It didn't matter that her tears (and snot?) were all over Priya and her dress. She was so super-duper sad! Priya deserved to stay, not her! Gary should have picked Priya. Priya totes deserved to stay! She didn't even care about Elijah, Priya was so much more important than a man.
"I'm gonna miss you so-so-so-so-so much!" Chelsea hugged her and cried.
"Babes, don't worry about it. Focus on having fun while you're still here!" Priya smiled sadly.
"But you always share perfumes and lipsticks with us!" Chelsea pouted. "And I totally love Lottie, but I'm just not into her vampy style. It's just totes not me."
"Leila has some fruity fragrances and pink lipstick." Priya reassured her.
"Yeah, but Leila's not the same as you." She sniffled. "You're irreplaceable."
"Aww, babes, don't worry about me." Priya said. "I'll watch everything on TV."
"I love you Priya." Chelsea frowned and squeezed Priya's hands.
"I love you too, Chels,"
And Chelsea felt something. Something she had never felt with any of the boys. It was like when she first watched Titanic, and Jack Dawson just made her feel something. She'd never felt this with any of the boys in the villa, only Priya.
Chelsea thought back to when she had shared a shower with Priya in Casa Amor. Felix had taken too long and cut into Leila's bathroom time, and everyone knows Leila needed the full 20 minutes to belt out Taylor Swift songs. Priya, like the amazing, spectacular person she was, had offered to give up half of her bathroom time to replace what Felix had used up. Chelsea had told Priya to just share with her, "we're both girls, and we've seen each other naked before!" Besides, no way could Priya do skincare and take a shower in only 10 minutes! But she thought back to the way her eyes traced Priya's figure, how Priya was like nothing she had ever seen before. Chelsea had never showered with Gary, never felt that way about him.
And she thought about how Priya and her would do each other's sunscreen on their back every day, including the parts underneath of their bikini straps. They'd gossip about whatever was happening with Operation Nope, or they'd talk about the boys. Bobby had done the sunscreen on Chelsea's back once, when Priya had to go for a beach hut confessional. He probably had the best hands out of all the boys, but they weren't as gentle as Priya's. Bobby didn't know all the girly gossip, and Chelsea couldn't talk which boy she wanted to pick when a potential candidate was right there. But maybe Chelsea had secretly wondered if she could couple up with Priya.
So now, when they stood there exchanging their goodbyes, Chelsea had to see if it was real. She had never felt as nervous as she had when she leaned in towards Priya, fingers and toes crossed that she got the memo to kiss. She did, thankfully.
Priya was totes amazing at kissing. Rahim and Bobby both raved about it, but she had never thought she'd find out for herself. The boys were right when they said that Priya was so good she would ruin kissing forever. Chelsea would never be able to kiss Gary after feeling this.
"That was actually my first time kissing a girl." Priya admitted.
"You're really good at it anyway." Chelsea blushed, Priya's red lippie smudged around her mouth.
"Here's a makeup wipe." Priya giggled, making sure Chelsea looked like she didn't just get her brains kissed out.
Chelsea had wrapped her arm around Priya in a friendly gesture, and they walked back to the villa doors. Chelsea slipped back into the crowd to wave everyone off. Priya came out of the doors last, and gave a speech about all the friends she's made in the villa.
"You're all going to hate seeing me go, but you'll love watching me leave." Priya winked, sexily strutting into the jeep.
Chelsea had brought a small trinket box with her, a place to keep those really special tiny things. She had a daisy chain from one of her dates, a cork from her first villa bubbly, the one hairpin that survived the mud challenge, a clump of hair from her first villa drain cleaning experience… She totes needed to throw that one away though.
And she placed the makeup wipe in there as well. A neatly folded reminder of the girl who would ruin kissing for her forever. The most magical thing that had happened while she was in the villa.