Work Text:
~ Harpy Talons ~
Mercy put her feet on Augustine's lap. Augustine was not amused. When he went to remove the offending extremities from his lap, however, he paused as a sharp toenail scraped his palm. Frowning, he decided to take a closer look.
"What are you doing?" Mercy said, sounding more offended than Augustine thought the situation warranted, and she tried to pull her foot out of his grasp.
Augustine let go, and Mercy curled her legs under her protectively, shooting her partner a scathing look.
"No wonder all your socks have holes in them," he drawled. "You need to trim your harpy talons."
She scoffed. "How dare you call me a harpy, you horrible little man! And they're fine."
"I call 'em like I see 'em, and those claws of yours are out of control. That's a good way to get an ingrown toenail."
"They're fine," she insisted. "I hate clipping my toenails. It's awkward and hard to reach, and I can never see if I'm cutting them evenly."
"... do you want me to clip them for you?"
That was a solution she'd never considered before. After a moment's consideration, she replied, "Yes."
"Really?"
"Well, if you're not actually going to do it, then you shouldn't have offered!! You have no problem clipping Gideon's toenails for her."
"Gideon is four years old and has proven time and again that she can't be trusted with sharp objects or to be responsible for her own personal hygiene. And I'm the one who does it because John is always afraid he's going to hurt her-"
"Even though that child is the most durable little gremlin ever, and would forgive him in two seconds even if he did," Mercy interjected.
Augustine sighed and decided not to bother finishing the rest of what he'd been saying. Instead, he got up to go retrieve the nail-care tools from the medicine cabinet in the upstairs bathroom.
~end~