Work Text:
Fire has always been such a beautiful element in my eyes. As a kid, I always wanted to touch the flames. The fire had flames I couldn’t take my eyes off of, I yearned to get closer to it. At campfires, I always lifted my hands and drowned in happiness due to the feeling of the heat against my skin. Whenever I touched my palm, it was the only warm feeling I’ve ever had. I love the fire’s destructive beauty as well.
Maybe you love it because you often feel like you are better off alone?
What do you mean?
I mean that everyone usually runs away from fire. They only see it as destructive, a destructive element that is only determined to consume everything in its path for self pleasure. But, it is much more than that. Fire is elegant, it gracefully dances in trees and lets the wind carry it to its new destination. It wonders how it can be so beautiful but so deadly to everything that crosses its path. Everything that it touches, it destroys. Fire can’t help it, it is just its purpose. It’s just what it's created for. Maybe you feel like everything you do, you destroy it much like fires. That’s why you feel like you are better off alone, so you won’t hurt anyone. Is that why or am I reading too much into it?
That is how I feel. People always perceive me as a destructive person because of the way I act. I act too rude, I can be too insensitive and I can come off as condescending. I really do not mean to hurt anyone, that’s why I don’t like to make new friends. I feel like if I make any new championships, I will destroy it just like every single one I have had in recent years. I would rather be alone in my own space to not hurt anyone else. But deep down, I want to make new friends. It is human nature. It’s human to want to socialize with others and make new memories with different people that come and go in our lives. Meeting new people is beneficial for us because how will we ever be capable of change? We need change. It helps us grow and it helps us understand ourselves better. Without change, we will still be stuck in mindsets that can be harmful or dangerous to others and to ourselves. It would be self-sabotaging to live a life with no changes. You would kill off every opportunity to better yourself. Without change, you’ll only kill yourself faster because of how depressing it is to be stuck with a mindset that is only hurtful.
Without change, how will we ever be able to adapt to our surroundings? Change ensures that bad situations come to a conclusion and without change, the human population will have higher rates of suicide or depression. Change allows us to grow and thrive.
Just like fires.
May you explain how it is just like fires? I’m not going to disagree with you or anything. I’d like to get a better understanding of how you thought of that comparison.
Forest fires allow change to happen in its habitat or ecosystem. For example, the giant sequoia trees rely on fire to reproduce. They need fire to grow more trees. Isn’t that essentially changing the forest habitat slash ecosystem because the community of the trees is increasing every time a fire happens? Fires are also beneficial for forests because it provides a healthy change. It removes low-growing underbrush and cleans up the forest floor of debris. It opens up the forest to sunlight and nourishes the soil. So answer me, Sun, do you think fires are capable of changing environments for the greater good?
Yes, I do think that. Thanks to your knowledge of forest fires. I also think that you are capable of changing your inferiority mindset. I believe that you are worthy of making new friends. You did say that fire is helpful to the forest ecosystem. Maybe you will be helpful to other people. Do you think that this change is beneficial? Wouldn’t it be nice to have others help you and you can help them? You did give good points on how change has an important impact on us. Would you like to give changing a try?
Yes. I think that changing my unhealthy mindset will be beneficial for my physical well-being. I just stuck with this mindset because I found comfort in it. I found comfort in being alone but when I finally talked to you about it… I realized it is not as comforting as before. It… only hurt me. I’m thankful for you making me realize new things about myself.
I’ll always be here for you in your journey of changing. After all, you are my best friend and best friends have to look after each other.
That’s true. Thank you, Summer. You are one of the only people I can trust with my vulnerableness.