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Seokjin opens his eyes to pitch black quietness; his mind a little fuzzy from the effects of a painkiller pill and arms a bit numb from probably being still as a stone since he fell asleep. It doesn’t feel like he’s woken up fully yet as his headspace remains static, waiting for his soul to repossess his consciousness again. When it does, he takes in as much air in his lungs as he can, as though life is breathed back into them, and he stares at the subtle shadows on the ceiling.
The residue of a bad headache pricking his forehead and the delicate scent of white cotton and pinewood confirms that he is not in his apartment, not on his bed. What happened last night was not a fever dream, and that he is, indeed, sleeping next to Min Yoongi.
The tips of his fingers tingle as he presses his palms on the duvet. It’s soft, and with a nice, powdery and earthy scent. Familiar, Seokjin notes. Yoongi still uses the same fabric softener for his sheets ever since forever, and, somehow, that thought alone makes Seokjin smile. But he’s quick to replace it with a frown. The vague yet magically vivid images from a few hours ago seep in droplets of regret as they bite into his skin. He is so so so sorry for crashing into Yoongi’s place and causing him trouble.
He shifts his gaze to the right, searching through the darkness to draw out a face. A pair of shiny, black eyes catches his attention first, making his heart jump a bit from the surprise innocent stare-down.
Holly is looking at him with his big marble eyes that are too glossy to miss even in the dark. He seems to be snuggled against Yoongi’s side, snout resting on Yoongi’s arm while watching Seokjin awaken from slumber. Seokjin smiles at him and tries to relax his nerves again, cautious about Holly realizing that one of the humans is already up, which might ignite his excitement.
As his eyes adjust to the dark, Seokjin lets go of Holly's stare and lifts his eyes to his owner. He lingers; a small, fond smile curves his lips, and he doesn't realize it until after a few seconds, but he lets it.
Yoongi is sleeping soundly. Seokjin can easily tell since his neck is buried in his shoulders, mouth slightly agape, and he doesn’t flinch when Seokjin moves all his weight to his right side to get himself a comfortable view of this sleeping being. Maybe it’s the tranquil silence of nightfall, or the faint sounds Yoongi makes as he slowly breathes, or how this kind of moment is always never short of pleasant peacefulness. Seokjin has not been so sure, but he knows that he loves watching Yoongi sleep. It brings him a soothing kind of warmth in his chest, a rest in the most hectic of days.
Seokjin frowns when he feels that bite of regret again, remembering that he is to blame for this hectic day that barely even started yet. It wasn’t supposed to end up like this. He just wanted to have a nice evening hanging out with Yoongi because he misses him dearly.
How ironic.
As one of the main proponents of independent living, Seokjin finds it funny how sad he feels coming home to an empty apartment. He absolutely thought he'd do just fine because it had been a few years since they occupied individual rooms in the last dorm. Sure, he admits to missing the presence of the members and the chaos they bring into his casual life. But it came as a shock to him, one night while watching a movie on his computer at 9PM, when he realized that the person he misses the most was Yoongi.
—Yoongi watching a movie next to him. Yoongi talking to him from his side of the room. Yoongi exchanging lame jokes with him. Yoongi bringing in deliveries from his online shopping. Yoongi asking him what they’d have for dinner. Yoongi walking past him in their shared walk-in closet. Yoongi humming ballad songs and laughing at himself after belting. Yoongi Yoongi Yoongi Yoongi!
Goddamn, he misses Yoongi so much, and that might have been the problem.
Seokjin was having too much fun listening to Yoongi talk about anything that came to mind last night. So much so, that he admittedly didn’t notice the quantity of whiskey shots he’d taken. He knew he was already feeling a bit more tipsy than usual three hours into their drinking session, so he took in as much water as he could before leaving. He never expected himself to pass out cold while on his way out.
It’s that damned whiskey, yes, but it’s also his damned foolish heart that is to blame. He’d rather Yoongi only knows of the first one. Seokjin would likely yeet himself into space if anyone is to ever find out about the latter bit. He needs to retain the liberty of being able to tell Yoongi what he feels in any given situation without much thought and worry, as it should be.
Seokjin just hopes that he won’t give himself away eventually, and that Yoongi doesn’t notice it immediately—or ever. He likes their friendly dynamics. It’s fun. He’s happy just the way they are.
The sheets ruffle as Yoongi shuffles in his sleep. He breathes out deeply as he turns to his left, draping his right arm over Holly and settling in a fetal position.
Seokjin’s pulses rummage against his skin at the sudden movement. It’s as though an alarm is set off at the back of his head. But he freezes and watches until Yoongi is facing him fully, round, puffy cheek pressed on the pillow, sound asleep, still. Heat spreads on Seokjin’s face while gazing at him. It’s that same kind of thing he feels whenever he sees Yoongi looking in his direction. The same kind of thing he feels whenever he’s near. Butterflies in his stomach and warmth in his chest. He smiles—absentmindedly—and catches a glimpse of the digital clock sitting on Yoongi’s bedside table.
4:09AM.
Seokjin sighs and sneaks his wrist beneath his ear against the pillow, settling comfortably, face-to-face with Yoongi. Holly is still looking at him; his eyes are tired but inquisitive. Seokjin reaches a hand out to pet his head, silently apologizing for the trouble he’s caused them—at the same time, wishing that time won’t fly by so quickly.