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Dear Beatrice,
I’m not really sure what I’m doing with this, and we both know putting words into writing isn’t a strength of mine, but I really need to talk to you right now and this is the only way I can. At least if I put what I want to say to you in writing, it’s out of my head and perhaps the swirling thoughts in my head will quiet down for a bit. That’s what Amael said anyway. This letter might be a long one I’m afraid and I’m not really sure where I should begin, but I know if you were here, you’d tell me to start at the beginning, so that’s what I’ll do.
I don’t really remember much after you put me through the portal. All I can remember is the feeling of falling, the feeling of sand beneath, the blinding light of the sun in this world, the feeling of being carried away on soft fabrics and the sound of then unfamiliar voices around me. I was taken by the healers of this world and placed in chamber to be healed, a chamber I spent one year and three months in. I slept while I was in the chamber and didn’t age a day. It’s now been a month since I was taken out of the chamber, fully healed. I’ve been in the world for one year and four months, and yet for you it hasn’t even been a day yet. Once I was healed, I meet with Reya, she told me the truth about Adriel, about what he was doing and why. She said there’s a bigger threat coming and that I needed to prepare for, so I agreed to train with her. She’s going to teach me how to teleport like Lilith, so I can come home to you, and train me to fight against being like herself and Adriel. I already knew it was ging to take a while for me to be ready to come home, and I was content to wait because I knew that even a few years for me here would only be a few days for you and once I was back, we could talk about what I said, what I did. But now things have changed, it’s going to take me a little longer here to be ready to come home and although it will still only be few days for you, so much will have changed, so much will have happened that you should be here for, so I’m going to write this book of letters and hopefully you’ll read them when we’re reunited and you can feel as though you were here in some small way. I guess.
First, I want to tell you about two important men in this world. These are Reya’s most trusted Healer and his apprentice, they’re the ones who have healed me and looked after me in this world, they’re good men and have been really kind to me over the last month. Especially today. The first man is called Kemuel, he’s the chief healer in this world and as the fanciest, state of the art equipment for any and all medical needs. He’s also one of the kindest people I’ve ever met, after Camila of course, he’s older than Reya and seems wiser than even Mother Superion, although he's a lot warmer than her with it. The second man is Amael, he’s a lot younger than Reya and Kemuel and is an apprentice healer. He’s a bit like me it that he doesn’t always say the right things, but his heart is in the right place at least. Although he’s training to be a healer like Kemuel, he also enjoys art and he’s brilliant at it, trust me I’ve seen some of his sketches and they’re amazing, if I didn’t know better I’d say they were photographs not drawings they’re so good, I think I’m going to ask him to do some sketches for me to put in this book so you can see some of the things I’ve seen and other things…
And now I’ve told you about them, I guess it’s time to explain what brought my need to write this letter to you. And all the letters that will follow. It starts a month ago when I agreed to be trained by Reya. She devised a training regime for me, one that meant I had some studying to do before I can start the practical training and we started right away. You’d be impressed Bea. I spent a whole month studying. I’ve learnt so much about the Halo (It’s really a portal key); how it was created, why it was made, how it’s usually used, how prayer helped Areala to connect with this realm from ours all those years ago when she betrayed Adriel and how it reacts to human emotions (Although we had no idea what it was capable of with that, till now). I’ve also learnt about what they did to Lilith when she was here. Apparently, her confusion and vulnerable state of mind comes from these guys stealing her memories of her time here, memories I plan on returning to her when I get back. Then after a month of studying, Reya decided I was ready to learn how to teleport. I started my first teleporting lesson today. For most of the day I was only able to make myself shimmer on the spot, for hours that’s all I could manage. Until it was nearly the end of the training day, which I guess would be about three or four o’clock in the afternoon if I had a watch here, when I finally did it. I actually teleported Bea! A good distance away form where I’d been stood too. It was so cool, one minute I was stood beside Reya, the next I was about twelve feet or so away from her. Then I passed out. When I woke up, I was in the healer room with Kemuel and Reya. Kemuel worked out why I passed out and that’s the reason for this letter. He told me some big news. Huge news, Life changing news. All I wanted was to be able to share the news with you, tell you what’s going on, have you here to support me. Don’t worry, it’s not bad news (well, I don’t think it’s bad news), and I suppose, if you’re reading this now, you already know what the news is, but I wanted to be able to tell you in this moment and Amael suggested writing to you. He said even if you don’t see this letter for years, you will at least know how I felt in this moment, and I suppose that’s got to be enough for now. Just until we see each other again.
So, here’s the big news: I’M PREGNANT!
That’s why I collapsed. Kemuel told me I’m pregnant. And after a minor freak out where I might’ve accused Reya of experimenting on me, he told me it’s your baby. Somehow the Halo tapped into my feelings about needing to leave you and took a sample of your DNA when we kissed. Kemuel says I wasn’t pregnant when I went into the chamber, so the Halo must’ve kept your DNA safe until my body was healed then impregnated me when I was removed from the chamber. So now I’m one month pregnant with your child, our child. Our daughter to be exact, because Kemuel’s fancy, state of the art equipment can tell the gender of the baby already. I’m having a daughter, your daughter. I hope she looks just like you, I hope she has your soft brown eyes and your sleek dark hair. But I especially hope her eyebrows knit together they way yours do when your deep in concentration. I wish you were here. I wish I could’ve seen the look on your face when your told we’re having a baby together. I wish I knew for certain how you felt about me, how you’d feel about this. I think I know. I think the fact you were willing to lay the crown on me to stop my sacrifice, that you kissed me back, that you came after me, proves how you feel about me. I know it would’ve been hard for you to tell me how you felt, especially after spending all those years hating what you were, even though I think your beautiful. I never expected you to kiss me back. Sure, I’d hoped you felt the same, but I was never sure. To have you kiss me back, to know you feel some of the feeling I feel for you, it gives me hope for our future, and a reason to fight for a way home.
I promise you I’ll look after our daughter. I’ll keep her safe and loved in this world and I’ll train extra hard so we can come home to you as soon as we possibly can. And I promise you she’ll know you. I promise I’ll tell her everything I know about her Mummy. How kind you are, how strong you are, how wise you are, and how you were always there when I needed you. I hope you won’t miss out on too much of her life but for however long we are apart, I will write these letters to you. I’ll tell you everything that happens, every wonderful, and not so wonderful, moment of my pregnancy, every smile our daughter gives, every laugh, every tantrum, every word she ever speaks. You will know it all from these letters, I swear.
That’s all I needed to say for now. Hopefully morning sickness won’t kick my ass when it starts, hopefully our daughter will be chill like you and not cause me too much trouble. Guess I’ll have to wait and see.
Till we meet again Bea. My heart and thoughts are with you always. In this life and the next.
Yours truly,
Ava.