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‘HATS!, Hats are wonderful things aren’t they?’
I cast a worried glance around the room at my class mates. Who was this woman? Where was Mr Way? He’d been our history teacher since year 7. He can’t have left us now, especially with this crazy woman.
‘Now I know hats don’t sound so interesting to you right now,’ -no they really don’t, Miss-whatever-your-name-is-‘ but believe me, they will once I have finished this lesson. This, my young Hatters, is “The History of Hats”.
Stunned silence, what the hell was this woman on? She didn’t seem to notice that we all thought she was a nutter as she continued on without fault.
‘Does anyone know anything about hats? Raise your hands.’ Jenna, the girl at the desk beside me raised her hand in the air immediately. ‘Yes you…?’ She raised one bushy eyebrow in question.
‘Jenna.’ Jenna replied, ’Um, well, people like, um, wear them on their heads to protect themselves from the, uh, sun, right?’
I felt as if her answer had made me lose a few brain cells just by hearing it. The yet-to-be-named teacher broke out into a seemingly forced smile. ‘Correct, precise, perfect. But hats are used for more than just protection from the sun, but good answer nevertheless.’
Jenna sent a smug smile my way. That bitch has only been here a week and she seemed to already hate me, sometimes I wonder if she’s on some kind of mission and the objective is to make my high school career suck ass.
‘Ry-y-kher’ at the sound of my name being butchered I glanced up. ‘Yes you, is that how to pronounce it?’
‘No’ I bluntly replied.
Her eyes widened to the size of Oreos-oh what I would kill for some Oreos right now- and she gasped, she literally gasped, I didn’t think people could actually make the sound of a gasp but she seemed to prove me wrong.
‘Excuse me?’ she seemed to whisper.
‘I said no Miss, did you not hear?’
‘I-I, no I heard you! Of course I heard you ha! Ha! Ha! You are very funny! How do you pronounce your name then?’ Forced laughter was always a good sign of a struggling teacher.
‘Ryker’, I deadpanned. Seriously, was it that hard to pronounce? It’s literally pronounced exactly how you spell it.
‘Okay, Ryker?,’ she cast a cautious glance at me, I nodded trying to not laugh. ‘What do you-’ ‘BRINNGGGGGGGG!’ Oh thank god for the bell, I knew nothing about hats besides the obvious facts.
I was nearly out of the classroom before the teacher started yelling; ‘Wait, wait! Ryker could you please stay, I need to talk to you?’
Screw my life. Like, seriously? The bell just rang, I was home free, but no, not according to this teacher. I dragged my feet back to my chair and slumped into it; I wanted her to know how much I didn’t want to be there.
The teacher moved to sit on the front of her desk. She looked tired.
‘Now, I just wanted you to know that this class should be taken seriously and that I demand that you respect me.’ Her voiced had drastically changed from the bright and bubbly (dare I say crazy?) tone she had taken on earlier and now her voice sounded like it had gone through a wood chipper multiple times.
She smirked. ‘Have you seen the Mad Hatter?’
I tried to hide my laugh behind my hand. Drugs, it’s gotta be drugs.
‘ANSWER ME, LITTLE HATTER!’ she boomed at me. Okay so maybe I shouldn’t be laughing as she was starting to get angry.
‘I don’t think you’re allowed to talk to a student like this, Miss.’ My voice came out steady, I was internally proud of myself.
‘I think I’ll talk to my students however I deem fit!’ she growled.
Before I could even begin to think up a witty response, she started to walk towards me.
As she got closer I noticed that she was twitching, like, not just eye twitching, she was shaking all over. Her hair was swinging behind her and her legs and arms contorted as she rattled her way to my desk.
‘Y-you, stupid little Hatter. You t-think that you know everything, do you?’ she stammered.
She was directly in front of my face now; words escaped me as she continued her twitching.
She slammed her palms down hard onto my desk, ‘ANSWER ME!’ she yelled.
‘L-Look, Miss, I don’t know what you’re talking about, the Mad Hatter isn’t real!’
That was the wrong thing to say.
She propelled herself over my desk and slammed me onto the floor. Her hands immediately went to my throat, I flailed my arms and kicked her but she just wouldn’t budge. Her face, what the hell had happened to her face? She was glowing silver and her eyes were a startling blue. That was not normal. She took a hand off to reach into her back pocket.
Now’s my chance. I rolled out from under her and grabbed the nearest chair. Oh great, Ryker, what the hell are you supposed to do with a chair? Offer her a seat?
She came at me and I swang the chair at her with all I had. She let out an ear-splitting yell and fell to the ground. I slumped to the floor beside her; the shock was starting to settle in. My substitute history teacher had just attacked me and turned silver, what the hell was I supposed to tell the principal?
Something pierced my leg.
I scrambled up; there she was, holding a needle that had the remains of a liquid matching to her skin.
‘What did you do to me?’ I groaned out.
‘Little Hatter, little Hater, you soon shall see, you will not be afraid of me.’ She sung as she twitched around me. Now that I think about it, it was more of a dance. She was dancing for me. That’s very kind of her.
She smiled. Wow, she had a nice smile. How did I not notice that before? I was getting sleepy.
Where was I again? I asked Alice. I didn’t even listen for her reply.
It didn’t really matter, ha! Ha!
Matter! Ha! Ha! That rhymes with hatter. Ha! Ha! Mad Hatter.