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Christian was very good at gentling spooked horses.
It was something of a surprise, for an alpha to have such a calm gentle touch - or so said Geri. She’d looked at the way he handled her favourite mare and decided then and there that she would allow him to mate her.
“After all, if he can handle wild horses, I figured he could probably handle a redhead omega,” she joked at their wedding.
Christian had chuckled, and hadn’t passed on his own reflection, which was that if he could handle Sebastian Vettel, he could handle anything.
Drivers were very much like wild horses, he found. You had to know when to give them their head, and when to keep them firmly reined in. They were headstrong and prone to bolting, but also fragile. A minor setback for a regular person could be catastrophic for a driver, just as a broken leg led to a bit of pain and inconvenience for a human, and almost always to death for a race horse.
Max Verstappen, for all of his speed, had grown into a shire horse. A strong, stolid alpha, he functioned best when given space to plough forward and a good pair of blinkers, and rewarded the team with hard work and heartfelt loyalty. Little quirks of humour here and there, a few idiosyncrasies that needed managing, but give him a clap on the back, a gentle hand on his neck, and he would soak in the affection like a sponge and turn in solid, reliable performances come rain or shine.
Daniel Ricciardo, on the other hand…
He’d once - and only once - admitted to Geri that Daniel reminded him of her. They were both omegas so at peace with their natures that they forgot to be hampered by it, where others - George Russell, Mick Schumacher - seemed acutely aware that they were at a disadvantage. Daniel never played at being an alpha, never tried to command a room or physically intimidate anyone, but pulled out all the stops as an omega: inviting everyone around him to share in his sunny moods and his success. “Look after me,” he said without words, “and we can all share my victories.”
Daniel was a high-spirited stallion, a prancing horse who would have been crushed by Ferrari’s cold-hearted management, and in the end it was the cold logic that pushed him away from Red Bull back in 2018. Christian had done the maths: such was the power of Mercedes that Red Bull would likely not win the championship until the regulations changed in 2022, by which stage Max would be their champion, not Daniel. All the sunshine in the world couldn’t change that dispassionate fact, and Daniel had felt it.
In the end, Max had exceeded Christian’s expectations by winning the championship a year ahead of schedule, and Daniel…
Because this was the other reason that drivers were like horses: other farm animals might exist for their service or their produce, but horses became family. Horses had names, personalities: you might sell them or shoot them when they were no longer of use, but you would mourn them as you did so.
And when McLaren took Daniel out back, Christian found himself deciding that this was one spooked horse he could rehabilitate.
He knew that other team principals were looking askance at Daniel’s third driver position. A glorified show pony, Zak Brown muttered, but that was exactly the point: a race horse, if it reached retirement, could make a very good show pony. Red Bull was a product before it was a team, and Daniel didn’t mind being paid to advertise it. He was happy to be trotted out in Milton Keynes for show runs, to feel the love of the crowd and feed it back to them. Dr Marko was yet to be convinced, but Christian wanted to get Daniel involved in their youth programmes too, the karting initiatives for children who had yet to decide if they even wanted to continue. Helmut might think that sort of warmth was counterproductive in creating race winners, but then Helmut had never liked Vettel all that much anyway.
The announcement was set for Abu Dhabi - why not, there was no championship fight to overshadow, and it gave Daniel a chance to come to England for a little while, visit the factory, and then have plenty of time to get home for Christmas.
“We’ll have a day of boring HR,” Christian said, “and then we’ll get you reintroduced to everyone you’ll be working with. You’ve been missed.”
Daniel smiled. “Nice to hear it.”
Christian had a hundred things he could be doing other than following Daniel around a factory he already knew, updating payroll and passport numbers and permanent addresses -
“Same as four years ago, mate,” Daniel said breezily.
Sandra smiled. “Well that makes my life easier! And still just you at your Monaco address?”
“Still just me,” he confirmed, and Christian’s heart clenched -
- showing him the updated sim room, the dedicated section for the e-sports team, breezing past the trophy room full of all Max’s new silverware…
“Who’d’a thunk it?” Daniel mused, a smile tugging at half his mouth. “That lanky little alpha, huh?”
None of this needed to be Christian’s job. He could even have handed this over to Max - heaven knew that Max had a soft spot a mile wide for his old teammate - but here he was, stepping closer to Daniel, waiting half a second before putting an arm around his shoulders.
“Just call us the prophets of Apollo, eh?” he said.
Daniel let his head tilt slightly towards Christian. “Sure,” he agreed easily. “Give me all the credit.”
Christian chuckled. He squeezed Daniel a little, a small reassurance, a small transfer of scent. “Right, OH next.”
The Occupational Health medical was undertaken by Uzoma, a short smiling beta who had been on staff since 2017. “Lovely to see you again,” she said to Daniel in greeting, offering her hand to be shaken.
“You too,” said Daniel. “Max been giving you any trouble?”
She grinned. “I couldn’t possibly say.”
“I’ll get it out of her one day,” Daniel said to Christian. “Confidentiality schmonfidentiality.”
Uz shook her head. “Are you staying for this?” she asked Christian.
Christian shrugged. “I have nothing better to do. Up to Daniel, of course.”
“Yeah, nah, you can stay,” Daniel said. “I, uh, I reckon some shit’s gonna come up that we probably need to chat about anyway.”
His scent was souring slightly with sweat and anxiety; Christian brushed their wrists together.
“Even if that’s true, it doesn’t need to be today,” he offered. “You can have this appointment with Uz and we can catch up in the new year if you prefer.”
But Daniel shook his head. “Rather do it all now, to be honest.”
So they sat down in the little office and Uz brought up Daniel’s records.
“Let’s just start with a bit of a basic history,” she said. “Any major changes in your health since we last saw you? Any new medications?”
“Ah, sertraline,” Daniel said. “Hundred milligrams daily, for about six months now.”
“Okay,” said Uz. She typed a note. “And that’s prescribed for…”
“Depression,” Daniel filled in. “I’m also in therapy - not McLaren provided and I don’t want Red Bull to take over, a private psychologist in Monaco.”
“Okay, that’s good,” said Uz. “Can I ask - you don’t need to give me any specifics, but can I ask what sort of techniques they’re using with you?”
“Mostly CBT,” Daniel answered. “Which, for the record, I always thought meant something a lot ruder, so that’s caused a few giggling fits at awkward moments.”
Christian glanced at Uz, who seemed equally confused by this; they made a mutual decision not to ask.
“Any other medication changes?” Uz prompted. “Contraceptives, suppressants?”
“Nothing at the moment,” said Daniel. “I am, uh, not currently sexually active.”
“And when was your last heat cycle?” asked Uzoma.
Daniel winced. “Ah, so my heats haven’t been… Well. I think probably May?”
Uz typed another note. “And that’s… not as a result of using suppressants?”
“Uh, stress, mostly,” said Daniel. “And maybe the weight loss. Sorry, I should’ve brought in my records from McLaren, I can email you the files and all that.”
“Okay,” said Uz. Her voice was gentler now. “Is it alright if we weigh you now? Shoes off, please.”
He stepped over to the scales without complaint and Uz leant over to read the digital display. “Thank you,” she said. “You can pop your shoes back on.”
He did, and shuffled back to the chair to retie his laces.
“Okay, so you are quite a lot lighter than you were a few years ago,” said Uz. “Are you having any other problems with the weight loss, any other symptoms? Like low blood pressure, dizziness when you stand up, lack of energy…?”
“Maybe a little,” Daniel said. “Not the dizziness, they’d never let me in the car. But yeah, less energy. But hey, that could also be the depression, right? Or the sertraline.”
“Yes, could be,” Uz said. “And do you have any ideas about what’s causing the weight loss?”
“Stress,” Daniel answered immediately. “I’m - like - I’m not anorexic or whatever. But, yeah, I’ve been kind of struggling to keep any weight on for about a year.”
Christian couldn’t resist interrupting: “What were McLaren doing about this?”
“Ha,” said Daniel: a short, sharp expulsion of air. “Like, they knew about it. Of course they knew about it, we get weighed every two seconds. But you know, I wasn’t actually unwell with it, so.”
A headache was building in Christian’s temples. He made a conscious effort to lower his shoulders, keep his voice even. “And did anyone ask for you to stay underweight?”
That took a second or two for Daniel to answer. “It wasn’t, let’s say, a requirement,” he said, eventually.
“But?” Christian prompted.
Daniel winced. “Well, Lando’s tiny. The weight balance in the car. No one actually asked me, but - ah, I was maybe not exactly pushing myself to like, regain the weight.”
Uzoma cleared her throat and Christian subsided. “So moving on,” she said, “Daniel, do you have any concerns about your weight loss? Obviously the fact that your heats have stopped.”
“Yeah, that would be the main one,” Daniel agreed. “And - er, like it’s stupid, but my hair’s got a lot thinner, it’s maybe been falling out a bit. Which, maybe I’m just old. And I’d like to have more energy.”
“Sure,” said Uz. “And lastly, what would you like to happen from here?”
“You mean like, treatment?”
“Or any further investigations you might want to get done,” Uz offered. “Or any sort of support we can offer you.”
“Right, right,” said Daniel. “I mean. Whatever investigations you think I need, I guess? You’re the expert. But. Uh, in all honesty, I kind of think it’ll probably get better now. Cos I’m. Well, you know. I’m home.”
His voice cracked, and before Christian could even think about it he was reaching out, placing a hand on Daniel’s shoulder, brushing his fingers across his neck. “You are,” he agreed.
Uzoma smiled gently at him. “Do you need a moment?”
“Nah,” said Daniel. He cleared his throat. “I’m good.”
“Okay. So, I would like to take some bloods today, check out some routine biochemistry, make sure your kidney and liver function’s alright, check your full blood count, iron, vitamin B12, make sure you’re not anaemic at all. I’m also going to do some blood pressure checks with you today - I know you said you’re not getting dizziness when you stand, but I just want to double-check for any postural drop. And we’ll check your hormone levels as well. I think you’re probably right that the weight loss is what’s affecting your heats, but let’s get a full picture of what’s going on there. Your hormones might also be affecting your hair - omegas going through the menopause often get hair thinning. Is that all good with you?”
“Yeah, sure,” said Daniel. “Uh, I’m not going through the menopause though, right?”
“No, no,” said Uz. “But missing your heats might cause a similar sort of hormonal environment, if that makes sense? Once you get back to a healthy weight, the most likely outcome is that your heat cycle just goes back to normal, your hormones get back to where they were before.”
The room was suddenly awash with the scent of relief. Daniel winced. “Oops, sorry, bit embarrassing.”
“No need to apologise,” said Christian. His voice was a little hoarse. Perhaps he was coming down with something.
Uzoma got out her phlebotomy kit and started drawing blood. Daniel didn’t flinch or look away, seemingly fascinated by the sight of his own blood filling up the little plastic tubes. He went through all the blood pressure checks, lying to sitting to standing.
“There’s a bit of a drop, but it’s not significant,” said Uz. “That’s good. Are you still working with Michael?”
“Yeah,” said Daniel. “He’s been trying his best but, like, we couldn’t completely cut cardio.”
Uz nodded in sympathy. “No, of course. If you’re alright with it, I’d like to get his phone number and email address? And the details for your psychologist too. I’ll keep you copied in on any conversation we have, of course, but it would be helpful for us all to be in touch if one of us is making a change.”
“Fine by me,” said Daniel. “I’ll sort that before I leave.”
“And I’ll get back to you with the blood results when they’re in,” she said. “Some of them will only take a day or two, the hormonal ones take a bit longer. I’ll try and call at a reasonable time for Australia.”
“Appreciate it,” said Daniel. “Any, uh, recommendations in the meantime?”
“Relax,” she said, emphatic. “Don’t worry about it. Don’t stress about whether you’re eating too little or too much, exercising too much or too little. You’re having a pretty big life change right now and we don’t want to add on any pressure. Go home, have a lovely Christmas with your family, and we’ll catch up in a month or two.”
“You got it,” Daniel agreed. “Cool. Thanks, doc.”
“Welcome home,” she said.
Daniel cracked a smile - and it did feel like a crack in the armour, in the tension, in the stress of the last few months. Christian hadn’t really realised how suppressed Daniel’s scent had seemed until this moment when it unfurled and filled the room: an injection of sunshine.
“Good to be home,” said Daniel. He slapped his thighs and stood up. “So, where to next, boss?”
Christian checked his watch. “Oh, I think we’ve got time to swing by and visit the mechanics.”
Watching Daniel reunite with some of the old pit crew was nothing short of a delight. Without hesitation, the guys folded him into hugs, ruffled his hair - Christian caught Daniel ducking away from that - and generally covered him in affection. Even the newer employees were getting in there, Daniel greeting them with enthusiasm, commiserating about having to work with this bunch of losers, and the boss, he’s a right bastard, isn’t he?
“Come off it mate,” said his old number one mechanic. “You’re bloody covered in his scent right now. You been snuggling over paperwork?”
“And how do you know Horner’s scent?” Daniel batted back. “Is there something I need to tell Geri?”
A loud chorus of “ooh”s resounded and Christian decided it would be a good moment to loudly clear his throat.
“You can tell Geri why her dinner guest is late,” he said.
“Oh, I’m invited?” Daniel asked.
“You are indeed,” Christian confirmed. “Unless you had plans?”
“Free as a bird,” Daniel confirmed. “Alright then, off we chop.”
It took him a couple of minutes to extract himself from the group, during which time Christian sent a hasty text message to Geri.
Christian
Bringing Daniel over for dinner - okay?
Geri
Thought you might. I’ve made pasta x
Christian
You’re an angel. Don’t talk about his weight
She sent back a voice note just saying “Copy. Understood.” And then twenty seconds later she sent another: “Wait, I forgot the sound effect. Doodle-oo! Copy. Understood.”
Christian considered breaking it to her that he had no idea what the F1TV sound effect for team radio was, given that it wasn’t piped into his headset at races, and then decided against it.
Once Daniel had shaken off the last of the mechanics, the two of them made their way out to Christian’s car.
“You don’t mind being a passenger?” Christian asked.
Daniel clutched a hand over his heart. “It’s a struggle, but I’ll cope.”
As they trundled through the streets of Milton Keynes, Daniel seemed distracted. Christian let him be, let him settle back into his seat, work out what he wanted to talk about. Eventually, he said, “You’ve really got into the whole - team as pack thing, huh.”
Christian chuckled. “I’m not inviting everyone to dinner.”
“Just the washed-up drivers, right,” agreed Daniel.
Christian sighed, letting a small amount of irritation seep out in his scent. “Daniel.”
“Hey, let me process my self-esteem issues with humour,” said Daniel. “That’s a thing, right?”
Christian didn’t dignify the question with an answer, and after a moment Daniel spoke again. “No, but seriously. Thanks. On a personal level. It’s - you’ve been great. It really, y’know, this whole thing, it’s felt properly like a homecoming, not just getting re-hired at your old company.”
“You’ve never been just an employee to us,” Christian said. “For heaven’s sake, Daniel, you drove my wedding car.”
“I make a beautiful carriage horse, right?” Daniel joked. “What are the fancy black ones called?”
“Andalusians, I think,” said Christian. “Geri would know.”
“And like, today, the scenting and that,” Daniel continued. “Uh. You know, no getting big for your boots, but it really. Yeah, that helps. So.”
“You’re welcome,” said Christian. “And look, Daniel, I hope this year I can be - well, I’m not going to be the person acting as your line manager for most of your Red Bull work, so… You know, I may be the big bad boss, but I’d be really happy if this year, I could just be-”
“Aw, you wanna be best buddies?” Daniel interrupted.
Christian laughed. “Well, I’d hate to upstage Max.”
“Wouldn’t we all,” Daniel said drily.
“But yeah, if you need a friend. Look, I worry that you haven’t got your support system around you in Europe. I want to be there for you. In whatever capacity you might need.”
“Aw, shucks,” said Daniel.
Christian glanced over. Daniel looked relaxed at first glance, his arm resting against the car window, his head tilted to watch the scenery flying by. But there was something brittle about him, something in the way his other hand was resting on his thigh and pressing, just a little, into the fabric of his jeans.
“I’ve said my piece,” said Christian. “Now. When are you heading back to Perth?”
“Tuesday,” answered Daniel. “Yeah, looking forward to seeing the family. My sister’s little kids, man, they’re growing up so quick.”
“They do that,” Christian agreed. “I think mine’ll be in bed by the time we get home, depends if they’ve caught on that you’re coming round.”
“Cute,” said Daniel.
They chatted more about Daniel’s niblings, Christian’s kids, and gradually Christian felt Daniel relax. By the time they'd crossed the county border and were approaching home, he was full of smiles once again, and when they parked up, he ducked round to Christian’s side of the car and said, “Hey, stay still.”
All of a sudden, Christian found himself with an armful of omega, Daniel crouching slightly and tucking himself against Christian’s body, pressing his face into Christian’s neck. “Big hugs,” he said, his voice muffled.
Christian laughed and wrapped his arms around his erstwhile driver. “Sure, big hugs.”
A few yards away, the front door opened and Christian called out, “I’m being accosted.”
“So I see,” said Geri.
“Geri!” Daniel crowed, letting Christian go. “My favourite Horner.”
She laughed and opened her arms. “Come here, you. Welcome home!”