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scaramouche sat beside the window, a perfect view to the outside. he focused his gaze onto the school gates and watched as his breath fogged up the window only for it to disappear the moment he inhaled. he sighed, facing away from the window and back to the inside of his respective classroom.
“waiting for someone?” mona asks, already having her bag hanging over her shoulder. the purple haired girl stands with her arms crossed, scaramouche doesn’t turn to face her, he’s too busy burning holes into his desk. she huffs, “i’ll let mom know you’re coming home late then. don’t freeze out there.” and with that, she walks out whilst pulling a thick navy blue coat over her slim figure.
the doors close with a click .
now there is no one else but him that remains in the now-empty classroom. he traces his finger down the window and watches a few snowflakes pass by and sway down. he catches sight of two snowflakes, one seemingly chasing the other.
“ajax..” he finds himself mumbling. he squeezed himself together, attempting to warm himself. he should’ve brought a bigger jacket. if he knew he was going to wait this long, he would’ve taken a nap to pass the time; what was taking ajax so long?
as if on cue, the doors to the classroom swing open, jolting scaramouche from his thoughts. “sc — scara! sorry for… making you wait.” the ginger apologizes between breaths. a wave of relief washed over the plum-haired boy. despite how happy he was to see the other, he forced down a smile.
“let’s go.” scaramouche said, getting up and swinging his bag over his shoulders. as scaramouche approached the taller boy, he noticed his orange hair was messy and strands of it were sprawled across his freckled face. “did you run?” he questioned. “y..yeah.” ajax responds sheepishly. scaramouche lets out a low laugh before cocking his head to the side, “let’s go.” he says. he doesn’t miss the way ajax hesitates in his movements before following along.
—————
the walk is silent, not uncomfortable. the two of them got used to it, as bathing in the silence of someone you’re comfortable with is a beautiful thing.
though one thing that was unusual was the silence that ajax carried. he was quiet, unusually quiet. as the duo walked, scaramouche looked up slightly, keeping his gaze locked onto the taller one. ajax’s eyelashes were surprisingly long, they kissed the freckles beneath his eyes everytime he blinked. his milky skin was dusted with a pink flush, must be from the cold, the shorter boy thought.
somewhere in the silence, he caught the sound of vibration. ajax’s phone. he glanced down and witnessed the ginger eagerly silence it before stuffing it into his jacket’s pocket. glancing back up, he saw the troubled expression that played on the other boy’s face and it’s enough to prompt him to ask what he’s been meaning to.
“ajax,” scaramouche calls, startling the other. flinching, the other boy hastily replies— almost immediately, “yeah?”
it takes a minute to respond. scaramouche isn’t stupid, he knows when something is up— ajax had been acting weird since he came to walk with him. the hesitance in his actions, his phone going on and off, the tight hold he has on the strap of his bag, and the nervousness hidden under a thin layer of cerulean within his eyes.
“did— did i do something wrong?” the plum-haired boy stops walking, the ginger stops too. scaramouche watches as the taller male bites his bottom lip nervously, now playing with the sleeves of his jacket as if they were the most interesting thing in the world. ajax looks up and catches a faint glimpse of his friend’s expression. there was only one word to describe it, there was no doubt that scaramouche was anxious.
nobody could read scaramouche better than ajax could. as much as the plum-haired boy hated to admit it, ajax knew him like the back of his hand.
for what felt like hours, scaramouche stood firmly in place. his heart beating at a rapid pace. “is this it?” he asks; and it’s the first word spoken amidst the prolonged silence. scaramouche of all people knew how dangerous it was to let your emotions rule over you. he knew how risky it was to act impulsively. but something was telling him to speak up, whether that was his gut or fear— he didn’t know.
“what?” ajax muttered, confusion laced in his tone. “if you don’t want to be friends anymore then please tell me. i’d much rather have you say it than hide it from me.” he spoke as if he was completely sure about his assumption. through his cold, un-moving expression, ajax saw the hurt and fear in the shorter boy’s eyes.
“that’s not what i wanted to say—” ajax said but scaramouche was quick to interrupt. “then what?” he scowled. ajax’s lips parted, his mouth opening and closing as if wanting to say something.
scaramouche stared as the other boy fumbled with his hands and coat. the heat burning in his chest was getting unbearable; he may not be the most emotionally intelligent, but scaramouche knew the consequences of getting attached, he knew that better than anyone else and yet— he found himself inching closer to ajax, his heart yearning for him, his mind racing with thoughts of him, his own skin wanting to feel the contact of the other’s.
he knew the consequences, so why didn’t he stop himself?
ajax struggled to say anything. he didn’t want scaramouche to leave but he also didn’t want him to know about his feelings. he saw the way scaramouche would flinch at any sort of physical contact, he saw the way scaramouche’s face morphed into that of disgust at the sight of affection, he knew that he didn’t stand a chance.
if this is how it ends, then so be it. if it ends with him confessing to his best friend of 5 years, then so what. ajax took a deep breath and gulped, “scara,”
the nickname was laced with fondness. he wanted to say his name like this, one last time.
scaramouche still had his eyes locked onto ajax, his piercing gaze burning holes into him. “i like— no, i…” his voice came out in almost a whisper. the words were caught and stuck at the back of his throat, was he really still hesitating?
the shorter male crossed his arms, growing impatient yet his expression still remained neutral. ajax clenched his gloved hands and looked down at his feet, “i like you, scara. more than— more than friends. i love you. i love you, scara.” his voice trembled as he forcefully dragged out the words that had been buried in his golden heart long ago.
he held his breath. prepared for the worst.
scaramouche’s eyes widened ever so slightly, his breath caught in his throat. it felt like time had froze— or maybe slowed down. the snowdrops gently fell onto his cheeks, leaving a cold fresh feeling to linger for a few seconds. he hadn’t realized how warm his face had become. he blinked a couple of times before refocusing his attention to the ginger in-front of him.
he had his eyes squeezed shut, his tall figure trembled and he swore there were tears building up behind his lengthy eyelashes. the moment felt unreal, he was completely aware that he was taking too long to reply but— was it true?
did teyvat really have a place in the stars for him?
ajax wouldn’t play a joke like this— no, he wasn’t that sick right?
“are— are you sure?” scaramouche spoke, his voice was unexpectedly hoarse. ajax nodded quickly, his eyes still shut. a red flush was painted over ajax’s face, his freckles were now like small strawberry seeds. scaramouche’s heart raced, he wasn’t sure what to do.
he reached out to the taller male, touching his hand. ajax opened his eyes, his own meeting the other’s. “i love you too, ajax.” he reciprocated. this time, he didn’t feel the need to force down his own smile. for the first time in a long time, scaramouche felt like he belonged.
“i thought you were mad at me, idiot.” he laughed dryly. “i’m just in-love with you.” ajax cooed, his hand flipping over and intertwining with the other boy’s hand.
under the frost-bitten sky, the pair allowed themselves to be enveloped in the warmth of one another.