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Previously Castiel wouldn’t have considered himself as an organism totally capable of emotions, but he did love, he loved Dean Winchester.
Just another being that before Castiel met, he would’ve looked upon from the eyes of heaven and dismissed as another useless creature made up of atoms. Castiel was an angel, how could he have such emotions, the same as those emotions only gifted to humans?
His passion for Dean wasn’t driven by physical desire, lust, or a receiving relationship, but instead because Dean Winchester made Castiel feel human. A man who drank just as much as he slept with different women could make an angel feel such profound love. Dean strayed Castiel off of the path of god he had spent his whole entire existence on, the path he was created onto. It wasn’t only just Dean but also Sam, Jack, Bobby, Rowena, and everyone else who was in Castiel's long life.
Late at night, Castiel would grow sad remembering that this arc of his life would only feel as if a glimpse in comparison to the future. He would look at Dean and Sam at night sleeping in their cheap motel beds, something Dean told him not to do, and would feel anguish, something only real humans felt. He felt this way because Dean and Sam were mortal and only had a limited amount of time, and Castiel would still be there, alone. Dean made Castiel feel something he wouldn’t ever clearly understand without Dean being in his life. Castiel only wanted to comfort Dean in times when he couldn’t. Castiel sacrificed the life of others, himself, and even the world for Dean, time and time again.
Whether that love was romantic or perhaps a platonic love it didn’t matter because all Castiel knew was that he loved that stupid beer-drinking Homosapien.
And saying goodbye to that love was the most difficult thing Castiel would end up doing. Not giving the lives of his fellow angels, not betraying everyone in his life, not dying, but saying goodbye to those wide green eyes. The same green eyes that told him he could be something more than heaven's lap dog and stuck by him.
He was sorry for making Dean worry and cry over him, he felt as if he didn’t deserve Dean. Dean was pure, even if he wasn’t by human standards. Dean was the definition of the indomitable human spirit. Even when he doubted himself, and gave up on himself, he was the strongest and most admirable person Castiel had the pleasure of meeting.
Castiel didn’t want to admit it but everything he did wasn’t even comparable to the way he would give everything up just to sit with Dean in his impala. Everything else faded into the background when he was with Dean. Castiel didn’t think about Chuck, the empty, or his worries about Jack when he was with Dean. All Cas felt when he was with Dean was the love he had for humanity, specifically his love for Dean’s faith in good.
How far had Castiel truly fallen from heaven to come to this state? But Castiel knew in a million lifetimes, in as many worlds as there are stars, he would choose the life of being Dean Winchester's best friend every time.
Meeting Dean Winchester was the best thing in his life.
And there fell out the most human of all three words that Castiel could conjure to express his unconditional hope for Dean Winchester, "I love you."
So it ended just as it began. With an angel, a soldier to humanity, and a handprint.
