Archive of Our Own

I think that it may be the worst form of torture… being unable to touch him in the way that I want to. Watching him speak with those beautiful lips and seeing as his wings react to the words that I type… I suppose there is no love without turbulence, but I always thought that it would be stupid arguments.

Fighting about which side of the bed we each get or what time to set the alarm in the morning. Not… speaking and forgetting that he cannot hear me. Or trying to touch him and having my hand go right through his skin.

Torture is the only way to describe it but… the pain feels so good.

Touya watching him carefully, gaze narrowing at every small movement that man made. Watching to see if his hand drifted just a bit too close to his boyfriend. Kyio wasn't ugly and that almost made it worse. He had dark hair but there was almost a hint of red, Touya disliked how similar their quirks were too.

He had a fire one, but it was controlled. Touya wondered if he knew what it felt like to be eaten alive by his own body.

"Two more Kei," Kyio said, "and then we can relax."

"I finished it two days ago," Keigo sighed and Touya let his hand linger above Keigo's skin, just barely touching him. The boy shivered softly, a small smile forming on his lips. He knew.

Touya knew that he knew.

"Then why are you here?" Kyio asked and his tone was just a bit too sharp for Touya's liking. He pinched the pencil in Kyio's hand and snapped it in two, scowling. "What the fuck," Kyio muttered.

"Don't hold it so hard," Keigo said and Kyio glared at him.

"I didn't do that," Kyio muttered, tossing it into the trash next to the desk and grabbing a new pencil. He looked over at Keigo's whose smile had widened. "What?" he snapped.

Keigo shrugged, "nothing."

"You're a liar," he said and again Keigo shrugged.

"I don't owe you anything," Keigo said. Touya pressed his lips together- maybe he and Kyio hadn't completely fixed their issues yet.

Something dark passed over Kyio's eyes, "he's in here, isn't he?" he asked and for the third time, Keigo shrugged.

"He's a ghost, I can't see him," Keigo said, but there was a knowing look in his eye.

"Get out," Kyio muttered, "I don’t want your freaky ghost in my room."

Keigo rolled his eyes, "he's not freaky."

"Says who? Have you ever seen him?" Kyio bit and Keigo frowned.

"Obviously not."

"Then whose to say he's not freaky? Get out… freak."

Keigo's gaze narrowed, "are you talking to me or Touya?" He stood along with Kyio. Keigo was shorter but not by much. His wings made him appear much larger than he actually was and when they returned to his back, he took up much of the room.

"Does it matter?" Kyio snapped and for a moment, hurt flashed over Keigo's face before he guarded it again.

"Guess not," Keigo said. He pulled his bag from the ground and marched towards the door. As his hand was on the knob, Kyio called out.

"Wait!" he said. Keigo stopped but he didn't turn.

"What?"

There was a beat of silence in which neither of the boys said anything. Keigo pulled his wings into his back, looking over his shoulder and Touya stood next to him, a phantom hand on his shoulder.

Kyio stared at him and then shook his head, "nothing, never mind."

The blonde's face went dark again and Touya could feel the hope fading from it, "you been spending much time with Ayaka lately?" he asked and Kyio pinched his brows together.

"What? No," Kyio said, shoving his hands into his pockets.

"Funny," Keigo muttered, "because you're acting just like her." Kyio's eyes widened in surprise but before he could say anything Keigo pulled open the door, "I'm going to the store," he said and then left without waiting for a reply.  

Touya walked alongside Keigo out in the cold air- it would be coming up on December soon, or had it already crossed over into the worst of the winter months? He wasn't sure- time was odd. It was slow and fast all at once and he could barely remember what he did the day before. Not that it mattered all that much, his impact was insignificant.

Well, perhaps not to Keigo.

"I just- he's been different lately," Keigo said and although the blonde couldn't see Touya, he knew that he was there. He was always there. "I don't understand, I thought he'd be happy for me, but he's been treating me like I'm a parasite."

Touya frowned and scratched out a note on a piece of paper that he held in his pocket. It wasn't visible until he tapped it on Keigo's shoulder… things had been happening like that lately. The things he held disappearing for the duration it was in his possession.

It almost made him afraid of touching Keigo.

Jealous.

"You think he's jealous?" Keigo asked and Touya nodded, forgetting (not for the first time) that Keigo couldn't see him. "I guess it's possible, but why would he be? We were never together and I… we talked about it. He was fine with the way our friendship was and… and…" a look of realization flashed and lingered in his eyes, "he was fine with it because he knew my soulmate was dead. Because there would be no chance, I'd ever end up with him, but he was wrong, and you are here, and he hates it."

I love you.

Keigo smiled, folding the paper and tucking it into his pocket, "not exactly helpful for my situation but I'll take it," his cheeks blushed with pink, "and, you know, I love you." Touya smiled and let his hands hover against his hand. The blonde jolted at the cold before relaxing.

Time? Kyio will come around.

He sighed, "maybe, but if he resents me then there isn't anything I can do about it. I'm not willing to give you up just because he doesn't like it."

Fight?

"You want me to fight him?" Keigo laughed, "I'd probably end up breaking something- like my body."

No.

Keigo laughed again and Touya wondered what else he could say to hear that laugh. "You can't just say no," his laugh interrupted his own words- he went so far as to stop walking to catch his breath, "I'm literally cursed, I don’t think fighting should be in my wheelhouse."

Touya frowned.

I protect you.

He didn't like writing in such simple sentences, but his paper was limited, and he didn't want the amount of time between when Keigo spoke and he answered to be annoyingly long.

"You do, don't you," Keigo said, folding the paper again and tucking it into his pocket with the other. If Touya could feel warmth he would have by the gesture. "You know your handwriting is really nice, must mean you're pretty too."

Correlation?

"Oh, you know, pretty people have pretty handwriting… which means I'm ugly." Keigo laughed and even though Touya knew he was joking he didn't like the words coming out of the blonde's mouth.

You're beautiful.

Red burned at his cheeks again, but Keigo knew he'd try to blame it on the cold, "I wouldn't go that far."

Breathtaking, Keigo.

"I want to hear you say my name."

I'm saying it.

"Touya," Keigo said softly, "this is hard."

I know.

"Is this really, okay? Am I a freak for doing this?"

Touya stopped walking and stared at the ground. The last thing he wanted to do was making Keigo's life harder.

"Touya?" Keigo asked.

You can change your mind any time you want Keigo, I won't be upset.

"Yes you will, but I won't know because I can't see you… I think I'm understanding why you left now, this sucks. I want to see you and I-I want to hold your hand not just shiver when you try to touch me." Keigo said, kicking the ground, he started walking to the store again, "my birthday is in a month, it's at the end of December and I… I want you."

I'm sorry.

Keigo stared at the piece of paper, wetting it as tears fell from his eyes, "I hate this, I hate this so much, I love you but I can't see you or hear you and I have no idea what you look like and I… I," Keigo stumbled but Touya caught his clothes before he fell down completely. It wasn't the easiest thing, but Touya had learned how to touch objects on people. Keigo gasped softly, looking down at his upper body. "Touya," he whispered and Touya let go, scribbling on paper again.

Keigo, yes?

"Touch my shirt again," he said, a blinding light of hope in his eyes, "I think I… felt it."

"You can feel me?" Touya asked in shock before remembering that Keigo couldn't hear him.

Feel me? Like my touch?

"I don't know, I could feel something, like pressure on my body through my shirt."

Touya moved his hands forward and planted his palms against his chest. Keigo gasped again and put his hands over where Touya was touching. He shivered at the contact of Touya's spirit shifted through his hands.

"I can feel it," he whispered, "it doesn't feel like a human touch but it's something, Touya it's something." His smile was bright and the sun broke through the clouds shining on the day and Touya thought it was his smile that caused it.

He was light personified as a person.

Touya pulled away.

Good?

"Very," Keigo breathed, holding his breath before letting it out. Touya didn't miss how his breath hitched and the light in his eyes flickered in want. "Ah, um, I should… should um, get to the store-yeah, I h-have to get cake mix."

Touya smiled to himself.

Flustered?

Keigo crumbled the paper and shoved it in his pocket, "no!" he exclaimed but the red on his fac and the shaking of his hands said otherwise. Touya laughed and he wondered if Keigo would have wanted to hear it. The blonde began to mov forward in haste but Touya never got tried and he could keep up.

He tapped on Keigo's shoulder with a new note.

Keigo.

"What?" Keigo asked, his voice softening.

Your name is pretty to write.

"Give me your pencil," Keigo said, holding out his hand. Keigo smiled at the pencil appeared in his hand. He covered the paper and wrote on it quickly. He held it up and Touya looked over his shoulder. "Your name is pretty to write," Keigo said, a timid smile on his face.

Touya stared at Keigo's face, a softness overtaking him. He plucked the pencil from Keigo's hand.

I love you.

So much, Keigo, if it's the only thing I ever feel again then I think I'll be okay.

Keigo's eyes watered and filled with tears, "I don't think I've ever been so happy Touya," he whispered, "thank you for finding me."

Can I kiss you? Or try? Touya asked, setting the paper down in Keigo's hand.

"Yes," Keigo whispered, "of course."

Keigo stopped walking and when he shivered, his cheek growing cold he knew Touya's hand was trying to hold it. And then his lips grew cold and he wished more than anything he could hold Touya. But he couldn't touch him.

Pressure pressed against his sides, against his shirt and Keigo almost cried at Touya's attempt at hugging him. Keigo wondered if Touya could cry.

He wondered it Touya was crying but as Keigo felt his wet cheeks, he knew that he couldn't stop his own tears.

The cold dissipated and a new note was tapped on his shoulder. He took it and wiped at his face and scrubbed at his cheeks.

Cake mix?

Keigo laughed softly, "yeah- yes, I should go, people might worry that I've died."

Touya scribbled on paper but kept it folded in his hand. I love you.

Sometimes he just liked to write it.

The world isn't fair. I know that, Keigo knows that. But I was never afraid before because the worst had already happened to me. I think I would hurt more if anything happened to my love- I cannot seem to stop saying it and I wonder if he cares.

Will the words lose meaning the more I write them or will their gain it.

I can touch him, not in the way I want but it something and that is enough.

He was cute and there was no getting around it. So often Touya found himself wanting to kiss him just because. When he was alive all that ever mattered was working on his quirk. Growing stronger and getting better for his father.

Not once had the idea of love ever cross his mind. It was irrelevant. But now… now it was all he could think about. Rather, it was the happiest thing he could think about.

Keigo was staring intently at the lines of cake mix, more indecisive than he probably should have been. His eyes lit up when he saw the frosting, a small pink tub of sickeningly sweet strawberry frosting. Touya grimaced but shrugged.

The blonde deserved to be happy in whatever he found happiness in and if that was a jar of the most artificial tasting frosting then so be it. He grabbed for the tub before putting it in his basket and moving back to the cake mixes.

Suddenly a loud voice called out and Touya turned, Keigo didn't, too immersed in the vast options of cake mix.

"I want the chocolate one!" the voice called and Touya would have recognized that voice anywhere. There was no time to warn Keigo before his little brother ran right into him, making them both fall to the ground.

Touya's (not) body almost flashed behind Keigo, and he pressed his hand at the top of his back before his head smacked into the tile floor.

"Ow," Shoto groaned, rubbing his arm that hit one of the shelves.

"Sho! Don't run off- oh, I'm so sorry," Natsuo said, jogging into the aisle and holding out his hand to Keigo. The blonde took it, allowing himself to be pulled up off the ground.

"Oh, it's alright!" Keigo exclaimed, picking up the frosting that rolled out of his basket.

Touya stared at the three of them in awe. Fate was one twisted son of a bitch. Quickly, he scribbled on two pieces of paper and tapped on Keigo's shoulder with it, along with Natsuo's. As discretely as he could, Keigo took the paper and turned to the side to read it.

When he did, his eyes shot up to Natsuo who was just now figuring out what was tapping against his shoulder.

"You're…" Keigo blinked at the two boys almost in disbelief, "Touya's brothers," he whispered, and it was Natsuo's turn to stare at the blonde in disbelief.

"Excuse me?" he asked and Shoto crossed his arms over his chest, running behind Natsuo.

Keigo shook his head and then held out his hand, "sorry," he muttered, "I'm Keigo."

"Keigo!" Natsuo exclaimed, finally opening up the note and reading the writing, "oh my gods you're-"

"Dating your ghost brother," Keigo said and then cringed, "sorry I just-" Natsuo laughed, throwing his head back before wiping at his eyes that filled with tears. Natsuo moved and hugged Keigo, pulling him in tight.

"He talks about you so much," Natsuo said, and red immediately burned on his face.

"You can hear him?" Keigo asked but Natsuo shook his head as he pulled away.

"He writes… a lot about you and you know if we could see him and well… if he had a body, I just know he'd me blushing," Natsuo said with a pleased smile.

Touya frowned, "I would not!" He would.

"He hates me for saying that, I know," Natsuo said, smirking like he knew, and he did. Of course he did.

Keigo's eyes lit up, "do you… have a photo of him?" he asked and if Touya had a physical heart it would be aching.

"I think so," Natsuo pulled out his phone as Shoto tugged on Keigo's shirt.

"I'm Shoto!" Shoto exclaimed.

Keigo leaned down slightly, waving, "hi Shoto," he said and Shoto smiled.

"Touya lovessss you," he said, giggling softly and Keigo laughed.

"I know," he said, "I love him too," and Shoto eyes lit up.

"You do?" he asked, voice full of excitement.

Keigo nodded, "a lot," he whispered

"Here," Natsuo said, stepping forward, "he was… thirteen in this I think."

The blonde's eyes widened as he finally, finally saw Touya's face. Touya leaned over his shoulder, staring at the photo of himself that he barely recognized. There was still a bit of red in his hair although at that point it was mostly white.

His eyes were bright blue and wide with hope for a future that he would never have. It was the photo in his childhood room. The photo of his shrine.

"It's not… completely accurate," Natsuo said, "he looked a little different before he… died."

"You have a picture?" Keigo asked and Natsuo nodded slowly.

"Are you sure you want to see it?" he asked and Keigo wondered how old Natsuo was. Would he be fourteen? Fifteen?

"If it's alright," Keigo said, "Touya?"

Yes.

He wrote it down and set the paper in Keigo's hand. He wasn't sure what to expect… he hadn't exactly seen himself in the hospital either.

Natsuo scrolled through his photos before stopping on one of a man in a bed, hooked up to all types of machines. An oxygen tube was in his nose, needles in his arms and his eyes were closed.

Hair as white as the pillows underneath him.

He was burned beyond repair.

Keigo eye's watered, "Touya," he whispered, wiping at his cheek with the back of his hand. "I'm so sorry," he whispered again, shaking his head, "I'm so, so sorry," he dropped to his knees, letting go of the basket and lowering his head.

"I-it’s not your fault," Natsuo said, leaning down and putting a hand on Keigo's shoulder.

Keigo's eyes were wet with tears that kept streaming, "it is," he said, "it is!" Keigo cried, covering his mouth. "If I wasn't cursed Touya never would have-" he choked again, trembling roughly.

Natsuo sighed and kneeled on the ground in front of Keigo, "we know about that Keigo," he said, "and we don't blame you. It is not your fault."

The blonde looked up, in between his eyes filled with the ocean, "you know?" he asked.

"Yes," Natsuo nodded, "Touya told us."

Keigo pushed Natsuo hand off his shoulder, "then how can you be so kind to me!" he exclaimed, "I killed him!" he cried, and it was then that hand wrapped around Keigo's body.

Small arms with small hands on his back, Shoto hugged Keigo. "You didn't," Shoto said, patting Keigo's hair down, "Touya loves you," he repeated and Keigo began to sob as Natsuo's arms wrapped around him along with Shoto's.

"Keigo," Natsuo said softly, "please don't blame yourself. This kind of stuff is beyond any of our controls."

Keigo sniffed and wiped at his face with his shirt and hand, embarrassed by the amount of liquids coming out of his face, before speaking. "What kind of stuff?" he asked.

"Fate," Natsuo said, pulling away from Keigo as Shoto did. It was a wonder that no one else had stopped to ask them what was going on.

"He's beautiful," Keigo said, his tears slowing, and he wiped them off one last time. "I knew he would be."

"Keigo," Touya whispered. He could have screamed it but still, no one would have heard. He didn't care. Touya wanted to be alone with Keigo more than ever.

He wanted Keigo to hear him and feel him and touch him more than ever. Because Touya had seen him, but it wasn't him. Not really.

It was a him that was all but a ghost.

Now, he was that ghost, and he was still there. But Keigo still couldn't touch him or hear him.

And Keigo couldn't see him for who he was now.

Maybe that was the worst part.

Pleasure (noun): a feeling of happy satisfaction and enjoyment

Pain (noun): physical suffering or discomfort caused by illness or injury

I've found myself thinking about these definitions, wondering in what way I fit into them. Around Keigo I often feel happy and enjoyment, but it is also painful beyond belief.

I want to touch him in the way where he does not shiver under my touch but rather under my gaze. Is it correct to say I feel pain when I have no physical form? I asked my sister what to do but she had no answers for me.

I didn't expect her to.

Once I considered going back to the witches but for some reason, I feel myself dreading their presence as if they would tell me a truth that I do not want to hear.

In any case, I know that something is coming… something that maybe I'm not ready for and I cannot say how I know, or why but its vibrating through every part of me (whatever parts I am made of). Good or bad? I don't know yet.

And I suppose I won't until it happens.

Keigo laid on his bed, staring up at the ceiling, holding tight onto one of his pillows, pulling it close against his chest. His hair was damp, having just gotten out of the shower and he had put on his most comfortable sweats and a t-shirt that was far too big for his body.

"You think in some other world we could be together like… for real?" Keigo asked and though there was no weight to his body, Touya was laying on the bed next to him, on his side, gazing at Keigo's face.

There is no world where I would ever want to be away from you. He typed on the open laptop in between them. Keigo looked over at the sound of keys being pressed down.

He smiled softly, "maybe if I…" he swallowed the fear stuck in his throat and let the tears in his eyes burn, "if I wasn't alive then we could have some time together before… the next life, you know?"

No, Keigo, you need to stay alive. Please, for me if not for yourself.

Keigo flipped onto his stomach and buried his head in his pillows before turning onto his side. "Selfish," he muttered, "I have nothing here."

You have Kiyo and Daisuke.

"I want you," Keigo sighed, "you're so… pretty," he smiled.

Touya smiled, grateful, at least, to have diverted the topic away from Keigo's death.

You're pretty.

A pretty red blush across Keigo's cheek and Touya reached out, wanting to touch it. "Touya," Keigo said, resting his head on his hand, "how many lives do you think we've met?"

Does this one count?

Keigo hummed softly, "I don't know, technically we didn't meet in life." He hummed again, a frown forming on his face. "I wonder how many times I've killed you."

Keigo, you didn't kill me.

"I mean, maybe not directly but I… it was because of me." Keigo said and as much as Touya wanted to deny it, technically it was true. He wouldn't have died if it wasn't for Keigo's curse.

Please, darling, do not go down the spiraling road of blaming yourself.

"I know, I know," Keigo whispered, "but its-"

The door to his room vibrated with a knock before it cracked open. Kiyo stuck his head through, peeking in.

"H-hey," he said, "can we… talk?" his eyes glazed over the bed, the open computer and Keigo leaving room on his bed for nothing. "Bad time?"

Keigo looked at him carefully, "are you going to insult me again?" he asked, not quite wanting to be called a freak by someone who was supposed to be his best friend.

"No, no I, um, Daisuke kinda told me how much of an ass I've been."

"You needed him to figure that out?"

Play nice, Keigo.

Keigo looked over at the computer screen and sighed, "fine, come in." he said and Kiyo glanced at the computer wearily.

"He's… here?" he asked.

"Touya's always here," Keigo said.

"What'd he say?" Kiyo asked and Keigo scoffed before feeling a gentle pressure against his shoulder. Touya's touch against his shirt.

He crossed his arms over his chest, "to be nice," Keigo admitted, pressing his back against the backboard of his bed.

Kiyo's jaw clenched and then relaxed.

"Does he have to be here while we talk?" Kiyo asked.

I can leave.

Touya typed and Keigo glanced over at the screen frowning, "I don't want him to, he makes me feel safe."

"Are you afraid I'm going to hurt you?" Kiyo asked, pain in his voice.

Keigo shook his head, "you already have."

Kiyo sighed and sat on the end of the bed, wringing his hands in his lap. "I… didn't mean what I said this morning," he said and as sincere as he looked Touya wondered if he really was telling the truth.

"That I was a freak?" Keigo asked bluntly and Kiyo cringed.

"Uh, yeah… that."

"I've heard worse," Keigo said, pulling his knees to his chest and wrapping his arms around them.

"Yeah, but not from me and I should have never said it I was just-"

"Jealous?" Keigo asked.

Kiyo eyes flew open, "no! I mean, kind of but it's," he sighed, laying down in his back, perpendicular to Keigo, "it's complicated."

"This whole situation is complicated, but I thought you'd be happy for me," Keigo said and Touya pressed against the shoulder of his shirt again and despite himself, Keigo tried to lean into it. He frowned when nothing came of the touch.

"I am happy for you Kei," Kiyo said, "but I'm also scared."

"What would you have to be afraid of?"

"Losing you!" Kiyo exclaimed, sitting up, "you're my best friend and I barely see you anymore. What if… what if someday you just disappear, and I never see you again."

"That's not going to happen!" Keigo said, shaking his head, "I don't have anywhere to go."

"And is that the only reason?" Kiyo asked, "if you did have somewhere to go, would you?"

"Wouldn't you?" Keigo asked in return. "This place sucks Kiyo, we're not even living, we're just learning to be puppet for the government. If you had the chance to leave, you can't tell me you wouldn't take it."

"Not without you!" Kiyo yelled, standing up, pacing back and forth. He ran both hands through his hair, chest raising and falling heavily.

"You think I'd leave you here?" Keigo asked, his voice softening in realization.

Kiyo shrugged, stilling and wrapping a hand around his own bicep, holding himself. "I don't know what you would do Kei," he admitted.

"You've always been my best friend, Kyio," Keigo said, standing up and standing in front of him. He pulled his wings in close to his back, "but I'm in love with Touya, that's not going to change."

"You're in love with a ghost Keigo, don't you know how insane that sounds?" Kiyo asked.

"Who cares how it sounds?" Keigo snapped.

"People are talking," Kiyo said softly, "they're saying you're crazy, that they hear you talking to yourself all the time."

Keigo's eyes darkened, "and what do you say?"

Kiyo lowered his gaze, "nothing."

"You're lying to me."

"I'm not!" Kiyo exclaimed, "what am I supposed to say? That you have a ghost soulmate boyfriend and you've chosen him over all of us?"

"Am I supposed to choose the people who bullied me my entire life!" Keigo yelled.

"I didn't!"

"AND YOU DIDN'T STOP THEM EITHER!" Keigo screamed, hot tears in his eyes, pushing Kiyo away from him. "You let them tear me down over and over and over so that you could be the one to build me back up!"

"That's not true," Kiyo choked out, "I loved you Keigo but what the hell was I supposed to do? You are so much fucking stronger than me; I couldn't take what you endured; I did the only thing I could which was be there for you!"

Keigo clenched his jaw and his hands into fists, shaking his head, "and half the time you're dragging me right into eye of the storm just because you can't decide if you love me or Haru more!" he said calmly.

Kiyo eyes flared, "I… how do you know about that?"

"Who doesn't?" Keigo asked, "maybe I just know you too well."

"Haru never… made fun of you," Kyio said quietly.

"No, but he never stopped his sister. Here's what you don't get Kiyo, I'm everyone's punching bag, you're the only holding it up."

"If that's how you see this then why are you my friend?" Kyio snapped, tears filling his eyes. With realization or anything else Touya wasn't sure. Neither was Keigo.

"It's exactly as you said Kiyo, I'm strong enough to endure it, you're not. If it wasn't me then it could be you and you care about me. I know that I always have. You are there for me, were at least. Maybe I'm the one who fucked it all up by letting you kiss me but you're the only family I've got."

"But you have Touya now," Kyio said, wiping at his cheeks.

"And you're still my family," Keigo said, taking hold of Kyio's hands. "Maybe you don't deserve to be forgiven but I know you Ky and I will always be your friend because of that." Keigo pressed his palm against Kyio's heart, "you've never been true to yourself, that's your biggest flaw."

Then, he wrapped his arms around Kyio's neck and pulled him close, hugging him and that was all it took for Kyio to start crying again.

Keigo was upset, it would have been impossible not to be upset but it was like he said. He was strong and Kyio didn't have that same kind of strength. It was why Keigo understood the things he did.

And the things that he didn't do.

So, he was there for Kyio because he knew what it was like to be alone and that was something he'd never force on anyone else.

He's too kind, I know that. Kinder than me but perhaps that is what I love about him. Kyio is a bad friend trying to be good and I can appreciate it but he has caused my Keigo so much turmoil I am torn between keeping him away and allowing him close.

I am not afraid of the feeling that Kyio may or may not still have for Keigo because I know Keigo's heart belongs to me alone, whether that is a good idea or not is far beyond the point (though it lingers in my mind).

Watching Keigo interact with Kyio I wonder what will come of their friendship after, of course, I will be there to witness but I hope, for Keigo's sake, that Kyio can learn more about himself.

And that when the witch spoke of the red in his soulmate that it was not Keigo but rather someone's whose veins were filled with lava. I wonder when he will make that connection, I believe Keigo has already.

But it's Kyio's to figure out. I am not sure how to feel towards him, he had both hurt and helped Keigo but Keigo cares for him as I care for my siblings. Living it difficult, I understood that when I was alive but choosing to live is even harder.

I think Kyio and Keigo are both realizing that now. When living becomes a choice, being alone is the last thing anyone should do because when the flames erupt there may not be anyone to pull you out.

They fell asleep like this an hour ago

Touya typed softly, careful not to wake up Keigo or Kyio as they laid on the floor. He sat on the desk, Daisuke leaned back in the desk chair, sighing softly.

Sorry if it impeded on your time with Kei, Kyio was getting irritatingly pushy about talking to him. Daisuke typed too, not willing to wake up the boys by talking.

I've got nothing but time, don't worry about it.

You know, Keigo's been happier since he met you.

He deserves to be happy.

He deserves the world.

Hey. Touya typed, letting his fingers hover above the keys as he wondered how to ask, how did you and Kyio end up here?

Daisuke sighed softly, looking at Kyio and Keigo asleep on the floor. One of Kyio's legs was on top of Keigo's, and Keigo was holding onto the pillow that Touya dropped down for him.

You want the whole sad story?

I'll take what you give.

Daisuke cracked a smile and shook his head. Touya realized then how similar he and Kyio looked. Of course, he knew they were brothers, but he hadn't really seen the similarities until now.

No one here is in contact with their parents, whether it's because their dead or just unavailable, doesn't matter. None of us have anything but each other. Kyio and mine's parents died when he was an infant, I was two. A fire that… Kyio started on accident. Daisuke's fingers stilled and then moved again, I only got the telekinesis from my father but Kyio is pyrokinetic, he couldn't control it when he was baby and it came on so early no one thought they had to worry about quirks until we were four. I only made it out because my quirk came on early too. In that moment, I unconsciously kept the fire away from me… not my parents. The commission found us, took us in.

I…

I know, it's rough but Kyio doesn't know and I don't plan on telling him.

So, he has no idea what happened?

He knows the story the commission fabricated. He knows that I tell him it's the truth. Sometimes I think deep down he knows and it messes with him. He's not a bad person.

If he was I wouldn't let him anywhere near Keigo.

I was hesitant, at first, to believe that you existed but all of this, Kei wouldn't lie about.

If I wasn't real it probably wouldn't hurt him so much.

No, probably not, but he also wouldn’t get to experience love and I think that's worth everything. He does too.

That I'm… worth it?

That you are worth everything to him, don't leave again.

I won't.

Touya looked at Keigo, sleeping soundly on the floor that can't have been comfortable at all but he had been exhausted. He knew that he would do anything for that blonde.

I'm not going anywhere.

He typed but he didn't know if he had complete control over that.

I do wonder what it's like to feel you Keigo, in the way that normal people can feel each other. I want to be the one you're holding instead of that stupid pillow.

I hate that stupid, stupid pillow. Gets more action than me.

I'm sorry, please I hope you never read this because gods that's embarrassing. But is it truly that wrong? I never even had my first kiss when I was alive and now all I can think about it how I want to kiss you like all the time.

But you're filled with cold every time I 'touch' you. Please Keigo, I ache for you.

If it was possible, would you want me like that?