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There's a lot of things Nathan wouldn't consider metal
Christmas, family, eating healthily, but the most most un-metal thing, in his eyes, would be talking about his feelings.
He hated it. God he hated it.
Mostly because when he was under the influence of a substance, every filter in his body preventing him from spilling his guts shuts down.
At the moment he's extremely drunk and extremely high which wouldn't be much of a problem if he were alone, sure he'd probably cringe internally at himself for being such a pussy but at least there wouldn't be anyone around to see it.
Except, he wasn't alone
Skwisgaar was off attempting to give Toki guitar lessons again, much to the rhythm guitarist's apprehension, whilst Murderface attended a meeting with Knubbler in another sad attempt to get planet piss off the ground.
So when Pickles sauntered drunkenly into the living room holding a baggie full of weed, you fucking know he was getting in on that shit.
Currently the pair were sprawled out across Nathans huge bed, drunk and blazed out of their minds after what felt like hours of nonstop drinking and smoking.
Fuck Nathan thought. Pickles always had the best shit.
The comically large tv in front of them was playing some shitty 90's rom-com but neither of them could be bothered changing the channel, at least that's what Nathan told himself as he watched the conventionally attractive actors on screen dance around each other shyly
"pft-" Pickles snorted as the actors on screen finally locked lips
"Gahd thet's so dumb"
his words were slurred
The drunken flush across Nathans face grew warmer He could the urge to speak making its way up his throat
Don't say anything, don't say anything, don't say anything-
"mhnmmn...s' not that dumb.."
God Dammit.
Pickles turned towards Nathan, eyes glazed and a wonky smirk plastered on his sweaty face
"Dood, dis is like the goofiest shit i've ever seen"
Natnan grunted in annoyance
"Why didn't you change the channel then!"
Pickles smirk only grew
"Why didn't you? the remotes right next to you,"
He eyed the remote that lay next to Nathans right hand Nathans face felt like it was on fire.
He crossed his arms and let out a series of grumbles, Pickles chuckled lightheartedly
"Nate', it's cool, 'm just messin with you"
he smiled and scooted closer to Nathan, knocking his fist against his arm lightly
"Usually i'd totally make fun ah' you fer likin' dis shit but i'm wayyyy to high fer thet right now"
He craned his head to look Nathan in the eyes
"so I guess it's yer lucky day"
Nathan's usual response would be one of denial, but he found that he couldn't speak
All he could do was stare back into his bandmates piercing green eyes
Fuck, were Pickles' eyes always this green? And pretty?
Wait-
His train of thought was cut off by a hand waving in front of his face
"Nate'n? dood you good?"
He blinks, looking away and clearing his throat
"Yeah..uh yeah i'm good. Just uh, zoned out for a second."
Pickles cocked an eyebrow
"You sure?"
Nathans heart ached slightly at Pickles' concern but he kept his focus on the tv in front of him
"Yep. All good"
Pickles starred at him for another few seconds before looking away
"..Okey den.."
and Nathan tried not to think about the slight dejection in his voice as he watched the drummer turn to rummage around the floor for more booze
Way to go Nathan, you ruined a perfectly good night with your stupid gay feelings
Pickles turned back, two bottles of beer in his hand and gestured one towards Nathan who took it gratefully.
The movie had long finished by now, replaced by re-runs of some old shitty gameshow, but Nathans mind still lingered on it
On the way the male character had clumsily reached for the female characters hand, how she blushed shyly before turning to smile at the him, how he slowly turned to look at her as well, and how they had come together for a passionate but sweet kiss
He sneaked a look at Pickles who's eyes were on the tv
He studied Pickles' face, a layer of sweat covering it as well as the same drunken flush covering Nathans, ghosting across his freckled cheeks and nose
Without thinking he glanced at Pickles lips, pink and slightly wet from the alcohol. His mind wandered as he stared at his bandmates' mouth, what would it be like to kiss him?-
What the fuck
In shock at his sudden train of thought, he glanced back up to pickles eyes, jumping when he found them staring back.
Immediately his attention snapped back towards the tv in attempt to save himself, but pickles had already caught him red handed
"Okey dood. What's going on with you?"
He placed a clammy hand on Nathans bulky arm, but he flinched instinctively at the contact
"Is this about the movie? Nate'n yknow' I was just joking, if you're worried I'm gahnna tell the others then-"
"DO YOU REALLY THINK IT'S DUMB?" Nathan blurted out a bit too loudly
Pickles looked at him wide eyed as a drop of sweat ran down Nathans forehead
"Whet do you mean?.."
Nathan fiddled with the ends of his hair nervously
"...Yknow...wanting a relationship...someone to be with n' whatever."
There was a pause, the air felt so thick it was practically choking him
Fuck this was brual
Pickles scratched the back of his neck nervously before speaking
"No, I...I don't-"
he sighed
"I dunno Nate'n, I guess it's just...I guess it's the fact I've never really been in a real relationship yknow?"
Nathans face shifted from one of embarrassment to one of confusion at the drummers confession
There's no fucking way.
The guy who's surrounded by horny fans all day every day? The guy who ranks 3rd below Skwisgaar and himself in amount of groupies he bangs?
He's never had a girlfriend?
"You're fucking lying"
Pickles scoffs
"I'm not dood, I'm being deadly serious"
"But how! You're- YOU!"
Nathan doesn't miss the way Pickles cheeks go slightly pinker
"pft...no clue. Never had a girlfriend growing up n' then I ran away n' joined SNB and yknow how that goes.."
He takes a sip of his beer, swallowing deeply
"Groupies, prostitutes....never anything serious though. Hell, I even had a fling with Tony heh"
Nathans eyebrows shot up to his hairline hearing that
God, if this situation wasn't gay enough already
Nathans eyes fell towards the silk sheets beneath him as he grumbled
"You n' Tony? Mhm...that guy seems like a major douche."
Pickles head snaps back towards him
There's a beat before Pickles suddenly breaks out into a fit laughter, his own cheeks heating up in surprise
"Yo-You-"
He continues laughing as Nathan splutters at the sudden outburst, face equally as hot and eyes wild
He's never been this embarrassed in his life
Eventually Pickles breathes in a shaking sigh, placing his hands on the singers forearms and looking directly into his eyes
"Honestly, Nate'n I was expecting an entirely different response to dat infermation but hey, I didn't take you fer the jealous type"
He smirks up at him again and oh god oh fuck
Nathans face should be melting by how much he's been blushing this last hour
But it suddenly doesn't matter anymore because he finds himself once again staring into Pickles' eyes.
He gazes at their fluorescent green colour and the way the red-heads pupils dilate at the realisation
In this moment he feels the most sober he's ever felt
The smirk slowly slips from Pickles' face as they continue to look at eachother.
His hands slowly travel up Nathans forearm to his shoulders, gripping the singers shirt
There's a pause, neither of them move
They can feel eachother practically shaking with anticipation and want
Nathan thinks back to the movie, to that scene, and sucks in a breath
Before Pickles can say or do anything, Nathans lips are on his, warm and all encompassing
The Singers large hands move to grab hold of the drummers pudgy waist, slipping under his shirt and feeling at the smooth skin there
He rakes his hand down his sides and up towards the singers chest, tracing the scars he knew were there before gently moving his thumb over the drummers nipple
Pickles gasps, giving Nathan the opportunity to sneak his tongue into his mouth as they attempt to pull eachother closer
Nathan rolls his tongue against the others, surprised to feel a metal ball amidst the kiss
Fuck he always forgets about his tongue piercing
Nathan can feel Pickles' smirk at his surprise, his calloused hands moving from Nathans shoulders to his hair before tugging at it cheekily
Nathan just grips his hips tighter, moving another hand down in order to grab at Pickles' ass
With a gasp Pickles pulls away, both breathing heavily. Small trails of spit still present on their lips and eyes half-lidded and dazed
"Fuck thet was good"
Relief floods Nathan as the red-head smiled at him dreamily
"Nate'n seriously where did you learn to kiss like thet that was like better than any girl I've ever had"
Nathan just groans, letting go of the others scrawny body and covering his face
"Shut up..."
They were both silent again, all Nathan could head was the intense beating of his heart
He suddenly felt way too drunk again
He heard Pickles shift next to him before feeling a head press against his shoulder
"Stahp it with the worryin' big guy, s' all good"
And Nathans heart felt like it could burst
He slowly turned his head to look at the smaller man before awkwardly placing his giant arm around him
Pickles only snuggled in deeper, closing his eyes contently and Nathan was suddenly thinking back to the early days of dethklok
The weeks following Magnus' firing had left all of the bandmembers worried for their future. Non moreso than Nathan
But Pickles had been right there next to him, telling him everything was going to work out
They'd been a lot more emotionly competent back then, Pickles always hugging Nathan when things seemed really bad or just when he felt like hugging him really
And now, sat here with the drummer back in his arms, he was realising how much he missed it.
Fuck. He was fucked.
His train of thought was broken by a sharp snore, and he looked down to find Pickles fast asleep against him
Careful not to disturb the sleeping drummer, Nathan layed back down onto the bed, bringing Pickles with him until his head hit the pillow
He brought Pickles closer towards him, moving him to lay on his broad chest
The smaller man mumbled something unintelligible before settling down once again
There's was a feeling a dred low in his stomach about the conversation they'd have the next day, but honestly, Nathan was too comfortable to care
As he watched the rise and fall of the drummers chest, he bent his head down the kiss the crown of his head
Before he could even think about how un-metal it was, Nathan shut this eyes and drifed off into a dreamless sleep