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Olivia let out a sigh of relief as she opens her front door and steps inside. The day had been one more catastrophe away from being absolute hell, and she was so, so tired. It was just past midnight, and at this point, she wasn’t sure how she was still functioning. It was a lucky break in the case that she was even able to come home tonight at all, and for that she was grateful. The sound of silence meets her ears as she walks through the entryway and into the living room which is completely dark except for the twinkling lights on the Christmas tree. She shrugs off her coat and tosses it in the chair and toes off her boots, not having a care in the world at where either of those items land as she turns around. Her heart melts at the scene before her. Elliot’s asleep on her couch, snuggled up under a blanket with Noah tucked into his side. She takes her phone from her back pocket and snaps a quick photo. She’s checking the photo when she can feel Elliot watching her.
“Hey, partner,” he yawns.
“Hey,” she smiles as she walks over to him and leans down to kiss him, “I needed that.”
“Bad day?” He shifts on the couch, and Noah manages to curl up even closer to his side. Elliot pulls the blanket up and tucks it to where only the top of Noah’s head pokes out.
“It’s better now,” she smiles as she looks between him and her son, “he’s out for the count.”
Elliot looks down at Noah, whose head has fallen over on his chest, “yeah, he went out about the time Harry and Marv were hit in the head with the paint cans.” He turned his eyes to the TV, looking at the time bouncing around on the screen, “is it really after midnight?”
“Afraid so,” she perches herself on the arm of the couch and leans into him as he places his one free arm around her waist, “we closed the case.”
Elliot smiles up at her, “I knew you would.” He takes her hand into his, “want to talk about it?”
She shakes her head, “too tired.”
They both look down as Noah starts to stir against Elliot’s chest, “Dad?” Noah opens his eyes slowly, “is Mom home?”
“I’m here, baby.” She brushes one of his curls out of his face, “I love you.”
“That’s nice,” Noah smiles as he quickly drifts back off to sleep.
Olivia turns to Elliot who has the cheesiest grin on his face, “what?”
“He called me Dad, again,” he looks down at the young boy who is now practically asleep on his chest, “I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of hearing him say that.” He looks back up at Olivia, “are we still in agreement about his Christmas gift?”
“Absolutely,” she leans over and kisses him, “have you told the big kids?”
He leans his head back and grins at her, “they’re already planning their own Christmas surprises for him. They wouldn’t tell me, but I think I have an idea.”
Olivia watches the expression on Elliot’s face change, and she knows he is deep in some memory remembering Christmases long ago when his own children were young. He does this sometimes, and she knows she would never begrudge him the memories he had with his children or even with Kathy. Yes, he was hers now, but he had lived a full life as a father of five, and she knew how special those memories were to him. She ran her hand across the top of his head, and he looked back at her smiling, “let’s go to bed.” She stood up and stretched and started to lean over to wake up Noah.
“It’s okay, Liv,” Elliot wrangled his other arm from underneath the blanket and pulled Noah closer to his chest so he could put his arms around him to carry him, “I’ve got him.”
“Elliot, he’s too big,” she pulled the blanket back so he wouldn’t trip, “don’t hurt your back.”
Elliot rolled his eyes, “I could lift you. No problem.” He adjusted his hold on Noah and stood up. He stood there for a second to make sure his legs weren’t asleep before he began to move toward Noah’s room. Noah nuzzled his face into Elliot’s neck, and Elliot hugged him tight, “I’ve got you, buddy.”
Olivia placed her hand on her heart as she felt like it would explode with the love she had for the man she had always hoped would love her son. He was the best dad, and she loved him more and more with each passing day as she watched him be a father. She moved over to the tree and flipped the switch and turned the TV off as she made her way to her son’s room.
She stood in the doorway watching as Elliot carefully laid Noah in his bed and tucked him in. “Goodnight, son,” he leaned over and placed a kiss on his temple, “I love you.”
Noah rolled over on his side and mumbled in his sleep, “Love you, Daddy.”
Olivia heard Elliot’s breath catch in his throat, and she stepped forward and gave Noah a kiss, “I love you, Noah.” She stepped back as Noah mumbled something that sort of sounded like I love you, and she wrapped her arms around Elliot, “I love you.”
“I love you more,” he wrapped his arms around her and then hooked his arms under her and scooped her up.
“Elliot!”
He silenced her with another kiss, “let’s go to bed Mrs. Olivia Benson-Stabler.”
She grinned, twirling the engagement ring around her finger, “I like the sound of that, but…”
“Thirteen more days,” he grinned, “I know, start of the New Year.” He shifted her weight in his arms and started moving, “told you I could carry you, Benson.”
~oOo~
Olivia stirred the creamer into her cup and took it to curl up on the couch and admire the Christmas Tree lights. She looked out the window as she passed and noticed the flurry of snow as it fell from the sky. She sunk down onto the couch and pulled the blanket around her and slowly sipped her coffee. It was still early in the morning, and she was the only one awake, but unlike last year, she wasn’t awake because the silence haunted her mind. This year, she was content and she was happy. She looked down at the engagement ring and admired the way it caught the light of the Christmas Tree. It still caught her by surprise sometimes that she was at this stage of her life. In just a few days she would be marrying her partner. She took another sip of her coffee and looked over at the tote bag she had quickly tossed aside in her haste for sleep the night before. A simple tote bag to most but within it carried the greatest gift of all because Elliot had finally asked for her permission to adopt Noah as his own, and that was the greatest gift she could have given her son this Christmas. His Christmas wish was coming true, and yet he had no idea.
She heard the sound of Noah’s door opening and listened for his footsteps to see which way he was going. She sat her coffee mug down as she heard the pitter-patter of his feet walking up behind her. Once he was in view, she opened her arms wide, inviting her son to curl up with her on the couch. She pulled the blanket back to allow him to snuggled with her, “hey, baby.”
Noah snuggled into her side, and she tucked the blanket in around them both. He leaned his head back to look at her, “morning Mom.”
She could see that he wasn’t fully awake yet, “What are you doing awake this early?”
“Couldn’t sleep anymore,” she looked into those ocean-blue eyes and knew something was on his mind.
She wrapped the little curl that hung over his eye around her finger, and then pushed it back from his face, “want to talk about it?”
He looked back up at her with a look asking her how she knew, and she wanted to pull him in close and say, because I’m your mom. But, she didn’t. She gave him time to decide if and when he wanted to talk.
She heard him sigh and felt him take her hand into hers, an easy tell that he had something bothering him, “I had a dream.” He took a deep breath, “I had a dream that Elliot didn’t really like me calling him dad.”
“Oh Noah,” she shifted her body on the couch, giving him room to fully climb in her lap, something he still did every once in a while, when he was filling anxious. It was something he had carried over from being a baby. She knew one day he would grow too big to sit in her lap, and he was almost there, but she would cherish these moments for as long as they lasted. He rested his head back against the arm of the couch, and she tucked her hand behind his legs to pull him close so he wouldn’t fall. “Noah, Elliot loves you.”
He played with the strings of the hoodie he wore, “I know, and I love him too.” He stopped and looked at her, “it’s just, does he really want a 6 th kid? Do they want a 6 th sibling?”
“Can I tell you something?” She waited for him to nod, and then she continued, “do you remember the first time you called him dad?”
Noah laughed, “yeah, it was last summer at the dance competition. He dropped his coffee and almost ruined Mrs. Ellen’s costume.” Olivia grinned trying to hold back her laughter as she thought back on the memory, a memory she knew she would try to never forget, “do you know why he dropped his coffee?”
“No?” he looked at her with confusion written across his face, “I thought it was because it was hot.”
“It was because you surprised me,” they both turned to look at Elliot as he strolled into the living room and sat down on the coffee table so he could face them both.
Noah turned to look at him, “I did?”
“You did,” Elliot leaned forward, “I knew when your mom and I decided to move forward in our relationship that I wanted to be a father figure for you, but I never wanted to define it that way to you or for you until you made that decision yourself. I knew I would be happy with whatever you decided because it was your choice.”
“So, when I introduced you as my dad,” Noah smiled and turned to look at Elliot, “I finally defined who you are.”
“Exactly.”
“Noah, he walked around with the biggest grin on his face all day and happily pointed you out as his son to anyone who would listen.” She leaned over and kissed her son’s head, “he even started a group chat to tell all the kids and Grandma B.”
Noah’s face lit up and then he turned to Elliot, “are they really okay with me calling you dad?”
“They are. They have been planning on what they need to do to make sure you have a proper Stabler Christmas,” Olivia smiled as Elliot winked at her. He had just given Noah his first hint at what was in store for him this Christmas. “Come here, kid.” Elliot opened his arms wide and Noah moved from his mom’s lap, “I am so glad I get to be your dad. I love you, Noah.”
“I love you too, dad.” Noah wrapped his arms around Elliot’s neck and hugged him back as tight as possible. Then he froze and pulled back quickly, “wait, a Stabler Christmas?” Noah looked between his mom and his dad, eyes easily questioning what was going on, ever the detective’s kid.
“I guess you’ll have to wait and see.” Elliot stood up and threw Noah over his shoulder, “come on, you can help me make pancakes.”
“Chocolate chip?” Noah squealed as Elliot flipped him upside down and then right side up again.
“Like there’s any other kind.”
Olivia smiled as she watched them go toward the kitchen. Christmas would be good and she couldn’t wait. She knew what the Stabler children and Bernie were planning, and it warmed her heart to see her son so readily accepted into their family traditions. She had tried her best when Noah was young to start traditions of their own, traditions she didn’t have as a kid. She bought him a new ornament every year, made Christmas cookies with him, and read Christmas books, helped him write his list to Santa, and took him out to admire the Christmas lights in the city. Those things were wonderful and she knew he loved them because he got her undivided attention, and she wouldn’t trade those memories for anything, but she knew he had wanted more. When he was younger, he would come home from school and ask why his friends would go to big family gatherings for Christmas and they didn’t. She hadn’t quite known what to tell him then. She was honest with him, but it broke her heart to see his disheartened smile when she would have to remind him that it was just the two of them for Christmas. He would wrap his arms around her, and tell her, “It’s okay, Mommy. Team Mommy and Noah for Christmas; I like it like that.” She would kiss the top of his head, and they would change into Christmas pjs and watch as many Christmas movies as they could handle all snuggled up on the couch together. On Christmas Eve night, they would curl up in her bed and read Twas the Night Before Christmas, and Noah would snuggle in close and twirl a strand of her hair around his finger as he listened. She would tuck him in tight once he fell asleep, and she would sneak out and help Santa finish off the cookies and coffee—Noah insisted Santa would need the caffeine to stay awake all night— as the presents found their way under the tree. Noah would wake on Christmas morning bright and early with his eyes filled with wonder and excitement as he bounced on the bed waiting for the moment she would let him run to the living room to see what awaited him under the tree.
This Christmas was going to be different though. This Christmas they would have the large family gathering with all of the Stablers and wake up on Christmas morning to the hustle and bustle of a large family breakfast as the kids, old and young, waited in anticipation to open their gifts. The wonder, excitement, and magic of Christmas would fill up the room, and she couldn’t wait to experience it all.
~oOo~
The days leading up to Christmas flew by and the hustle and bustle of Christmas Eve finally arrived. The Stablers and Bensons were all cuddled up in front of the fire—on the TV, but it counted—, bellies full after a large meal, as Elliot read Twas the Night Before Christmas. Olivia had her arm wrapped around Noah as he tucked into her side, and she kissed his temple as he turned to smile up at her. He leaned over, “I love this, Mom. Benson-Stabler Christmas.”
She whispered back, “me too.” She winked at him before he turned his attention back to Elliot. Sitting around surrounded by her family was what her heart had yearned for, and here she was experiencing just that and still, the best was yet to come.
“And to all a goodnight,” Elliot closed the book and took a little bow as his grandsons gave him a standing ovation. He stood up and clasped his hands together, “it’s stocking time.” Olivia watched as all of the Stablers moved from their spot and grabbed their stocking from where Bernie had laid them all out on the table after dinner. She felt Noah curl up into her side a little more, not knowing what to do because he was unaware of how this tradition was just the beginning of the surprises in store for him this Christmas.
“Noah,” Bernie called from her spot at the window where all the stockings were currently being hung, with little window suction cups to hold them in place, “come here, please.”
Noah looked up at his mom, and Olivia nudged him out from her side, “go on.” Olivia watched from her spot on the couch as Bernie handed Noah a bright red gift bag.
Noah opened the bag slowly and beamed as he pulled out a handmade stocking with his name on it. “Mom, look!” He ran over to her and showed off his stocking. She took it delicately into her hands and surveyed the perfect blue embroidery of his name and the silhouette of a dancer.
“It’s beautiful, Noah.” She looked up as Bernie made her way over to her.
Bernie smiled and held out another bag to her, “this one’s for you.”
Olivia took the bag and opened it to reveal another handmade stocking with her name embroidered in gold lettering with a heart. She looked up at Bernie with tears in her eyes, “thank you. I’ve never had a handmade stocking with my name on it.”
“We went back and forth on what to put on yours, and we finally decided on a heart,” Bernie wrapped her arms around her in a hug, “because you, Olivia Benson, have the biggest heart of them all.”
“My Mom’s the best,” Noah declared proudly and then he smiled, “thank you Grandma B.”
“Yes, she is,” Bernie wrapped her arms around Noah, “you’re welcome. All of my children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren have a homemade stocking. It was only fitting you had one too.”
Noah looked up at her and smiled, “grandchildren?”
Bernie winked at him, “you heard me.” Olivia smiled at Bernie over Noah’s head, and she almost wanted to burst then and there with the news, but she knew she had to wait.
Kieran and Seamus ran over to Noah, “come on! If we go to bed soon Santa will come!” Noah looked over at his mom and smiled promising to keep the magic of Christmas alive for the twins. “Yeah, come on! We have to put out cookies and coffee!”
“Coffee?” Kieran stopped in his tracks, “I thought it was milk?”
“At the Benson house we put out coffee so Santa can stay awake all night to deliver presents.”
Seamus looked up at Noah, “makes sense. Mom always says she needs coffee to keep up with us! We can do both!”
Olivia watched from her spot in Elliot’s arms as Noah ran off to the kitchen with the twins. Carl was helping them get their milk, cookies, and coffee for Santa.
“That kid is so ours,” Elliot chuckled as he nuzzled his nose in Olivia’s hair, “coffee for Santa?”
“Oh, the magic of coffee was the best thing I started with Santa. He really did need it some nights.” She leaned into his embrace, “I can’t wait until tomorrow.”
“Me either.”
Soon the apartment was quiet again as everyone but Noah, Olivia, and Eli had left to go home with Maureen who had more room at her house. Olivia and Elliot had just finished putting out the last of the presents and turned off the crackling fireplace on the TV, when Noah came tiptoeing out of Eli’s room.
“Hey, sleepyhead,” Elliot intercepted the boy, “where you headed?”
“To nibble on the cookies and pour out some of the coffee and drink just a little milk, so Kieran and Seamus will know Santa stopped by.” He shrugged his shoulders, “I figured Santa could use a little help.” Noah winked at Elliot.
Olivia stepped back into the room, “that’s very thoughtful of you, and I appreciate you keeping the magic of Christmas alive for the twins, but Santa’s bald little elf already took care of that job.”
Noah giggled, “bald big elf is more like it.”
“Hey!” Elliot huffed and then chuckled as both Olivia and Noah wrapped their arms around him in a hug.
Noah whispered sleepily, “best Christmas ever.”
~oOo~
Wrapping paper, bags, and bows flew through the air as everyone opened their presents in quick succession, excitement bubbling over at the gifts that waited to be opened. Shouts of oohs and ahhs were exchanged often as the group shared their presents.
Olivia watched with silent and joyful contentment as those around her opened their gifts. She couldn’t wait for her son to get to the last few presents of his.
“Hey Noah!” Kathleen called over to the young boy, “open mine next.” She placed a box wrapped in golden paper into his hands, “be careful. It’s breakable.”
Noah smiled and tore through the paper, careful not to drop the unopened gift. He opened the box and pulled out what he discovered as a snow globe with a picture of him as a baby inside. “It’s me!” He turned the snow globe over and then flipped it to let the glistening snow fall over his picture.
“It’s for you to add to the collection of snow globes over there in the entryway.” She pointed to the shelf just above the table, they used to sit above the fireplace above our stockings, but we had to improvise here.” She took his hand and let him over to the shelf, “see, we all five have them.” She pointed out each of the Stabler children’s snow globes, and when she got to Eli’s, she took Noah’s snow globe and placed in the open spot, “and yours goes here. All the Stabler kids have a snow globe with their first Christmas picture.”
He threw his arms around her in a tight hug, “thank you!”
“You’re welcome,” she hugged him back, “Love you, Noah.”
“Love you too,” He ran back over to the group and was met with Lizzie sticking an envelope into his hands.
He took it, smiled, and opened it as quick as he could, “Mom! It’s Rockette tickets!”
“Oh wow, Noah!” Olivia smiled at her son, almost wanting to tell the others to hurry so he could finally get to the main gift.
“Lizzie!” Noah threw his arms around her, “thank you, thank you!”
“You’re welcome, squirt.” She squeezed him back, “all Stabler kids get to see the Rockettes at least once with their favorite sister.” She winked at him, and Olivia almost laughed as Dickie all but shoved his sister out of the way. Some things never changed she thought.
“Move over Lizard. It’s my turn,” Dickie rolled his eyes as Lizzie mumbled Dickwad under her breath. He took the box he was holding and handed it over to Noah, “for you, brother.”
Noah’s eyebrows shot up at being called brother, but took the box and tore into it quickly anyway. He pulled back the tissue paper in the box to reveal a brand-new baseball jersey with Stabler written on the back in big block lettering.
“It’s for this summer when us boys go to the games,” Dickie explained, “we all have them. Even the twins. We all go as a big group and binge on popcorn and hot dogs. It’ll be fun.”
“I—” Olivia smiled at her son as he was completely speechless, but he finally managed to mutter, “thank you.”
Maureen stepped up next, “I wasn’t really sure what to get you, honestly.” She grinned, “but I thought about it and I remembered that when my brothers and sisters were younger, I used to make gingerbread houses and hot chocolate with them every year from scratch.” She handed him a heavier box, “I know it will be after Christmas now, but I wanted to keep that Stabler tradition alive for you.”
Mo helped Noah sit the box down on the couch because it was so heavy. He opened the box to reveal all of the supplies to make gingerbread houses and hot chocolate from scratch. On top sat Miracle on 34 th Street on DVD. “You are welcome at my house anytime. Tradition is we put on the movie while we wait for the gingerbread pieces to bake and we drink hot chocolate while we watch the movie. Any candy not used for the gingerbread house is fair game to eat.” Mo turned to Olivia, “I’ll offer two nights of free babysitting with that.”
Olivia laughed, “thank you. He’ll be on a sugar rush for days.” Olivia turned to her son who stood rooted in his spot looking absolutely stunned, “you okay?”
He nodded, “I’m really really curious. What’s going on?”
Eli stepped up next, “mine may make it a little clearer.” Eli held out another clothing box to him wrapped in shiny green paper, “I’ve always been the youngest and never been able to give this kind of gift, until today.”
Noah took the box and tore open the paper to reveal a baby blue t-shirt. He flipped it over, and burst into tears.
Olivia walked over to her son and wrapped her arms around him, “what does it say?”
Noah looked up at her with his bright blue eyes, “Stabler #6, coming December 25, 2023.” Olivia rubbed her son’s back as he looked at her, “Momma, is that me? Is that why I’ve been getting all of these gifts of Stabler Family Traditions? That’s today’s date.”
“Hey Noah,” Elliot held out the last box under the tree, “the last gift of Christmas is yours.”
Olivia held her son close as he tore off the lid to the last box. She heard his intake of breath as he revealed the last gift, the best gift of Christmas. “What is it, Noah?”
“Adoption paperwork.”
Olivia ran her hand through her son’s curls, “they’re already signed by me.” She took his face into her hands, wiping his tears away with her thumbs, “all it takes is for Dad to sign them, and you can finally be Noah Benson Stabler. Just like you asked for.”
Noah broke loose from his mother’s hold and ran over to Elliot, adoption paperwork in hand, “please? I really want to be Noah Benson Stabler!”
“Go grab the pen.” Elliot pointed back over to Olivia who stood with the pen Noah had missed in the box.
Noah grabbed it, beaming as he read the inscription aloud, “ To my son, Noah Benson Stabler, I love you more than you know. Today, December 25, 2023, and forever. – Love, Dad.”
Olivia pressed her hand to her heart, feeling an overwhelming sense of love as she watched the scene before her. Noah had his back turned to Elliot so he could use him as a little table to sign the adoption paperwork to officially, in the eyes of the law, make Noah his son. Her heart was full, bursting with the love surrounding her. She looked at all of those standing around her, watching the scene unfold together. A scene they had helped make possible with their love and their time in agreeing to accept her little boy into their family as their brother, uncle, and grandson. She was grateful that these amazing people were her family and Noah’s, and she couldn’t wait to join them, finally, as Olivia Benson Stabler come New Year’s Eve.
She looked over at the glistening lights of the Christmas tree, and to the little blonde angel sitting on top and sent up a thought of gratefulness for this family and for this love surrounding her.
The last gift of Christmas, she knew, would keep on giving because it was gifted out of pure love.