Chapter Text
As the sound of chatter and laughter began to grow closer, she felt her chest begin to sink.
Flashes of that night played in her head. The self-loathing that lasted the entire day when she realized no makeover would ever make Abe love her, not more than he loved Cleo at least. She remembered how she threw herself into JFK’s arms that night, in her moment of weakness. But what stung the most, what she just absolutely couldn’t forget, was Abe’s eyes. When he walked in on them, how his face shifted into a look of utter disgust and repulsion. All the shame and disgust she felt earlier that night bled back in an instant. Not only did she feel disgusting and repulsive, but she felt like a traitor. She knew how much Abe hated JFK, and yet here she was, in bed with him.
Abe’s betrayed stare was burnt into the back of her eyelids; it was the one thing she couldn’t forget all weekend.
She’s never had alcohol in her life, but this is how she imagined a hangover would feel like, but instead of alcohol poisoning her system and giving her a migraine, it was the fact that she was constantly full of thoughts that made her head want to burst. She wanted to crack her head open like an egg just to ease the pressure.
She let out a big sigh before looking up. Her heart pounded faster and faster as she got closer to Clone High. She took one last deep breath before staring down again at her feet as she walked. She couldn’t tell if people were staring at her, but either way, it felt like a scalding hot spotlight was following her as she walked down the hall.
She arrived at her locker and slowly peeled her eyes off the ground and onto the cold metal in front of her.
“Hey baby,” said a familiar voice. She cringed at the sound. “How’s about I walk you to class?”
That was another thing she’d been dreading. She hadn’t spoken to anyone all weekend — including JFK. Her mind was so full it was empty, and she hadn’t even begun to process what was supposed to happen between them — whether it was a one night thing or not. Clearly, he thought it was not and that meant she had to be the one to break it to him.
“Erm, about that JFK… we need to talk.”
“If by talk you mean sex then we can have a full on conversation. Do you catch my meaning?” She cringed again at his painfully unsubtle invitation.
“No, I mean about prom…” His smile faded. “Look, I was feeling really sad about Abe, and you were being really sweet, but I don’t think…”
“Oh…” his expression faded into disappointment. “I see...”
“But we can still stay friends!” She said, noticing his sudden shift in mood. She wanted to whisper ‘I’m sorry’ but felt that that might have been rubbing salt in the wound.
He chuckled in an unsuccessful attempt to hide sorrow. “Yeah, no worries, heh heh, see you around then, Joanie.” He walked away with his shoulders slumped and feeling defeated.
Oh great, another thing to feel like ass over.
She shook her head. She didn’t have time to think about JFK right now. She had another, bigger, more important issue to think about it. Just as she was thinking about him, she noticed his tall, lanky figure walking down the hall. “Abe!” she yelled in surprise.
“Oh, hey Joan.” Things were weird between them. He looked around, like he couldn’t look her in the eyes. She frowned. She was hoping that he’d forget all about that night, but of course, even she knew that was too good to be true. “I’ll see you later then.” He said, awkwardly ending the short silence between them before walking off.
She wanted to slam her head into the metal lockers. She felt like such a jackass.
“Can you believe it? I’m Cleopatra. Cleopatra! I abandoned my dream for him and — oh my god, did I tell you about his promposal? It was the plainest, most uncreative thing ever, but did I care? No! I was with him even after he became a pariah from publicly making out with his little bald friend in front of everybody.”
JFK nodded his head, barely registering Cleo’s complaints about Abe, and inserting a few “uh huhs” in between.
“I can’t believe I ever chose him. I am never taking advice from this school’s teen crisis line ever again.” JFK gave an unsympathetic nod.
As much as he cared about Cleo and wanted to listen to her and be there for her in her time of need, he just couldn’t focus on what she was saying at all. He couldn’t brush off the feeling of intense disappointment he felt after Joan’s soft rejection. He couldn’t explain why, but after prom, he was in such a good mood and was excited to see Joan again. His own feelings didn’t even really make sense to him. He never usually gets so attached after a conquest, it’s usually a one-and-done deal for him. Why was he so excited to see her? More importantly, why was he so bummed it didn’t mean more to her?
“Are you listening?” Cleo asks sharply with a glare.
“Huh, what?” He was taken out of his thoughts. “Oh yeah, yeah, Abe really, er uh, fumbled the bag with ya.”
She looked up at him with a smile. “Aww, you really think so?” She suddenly gave him a quick smooch on the cheek. “Thanks baby. I’ll see you after class, ‘kay?” She walked away.
JFK wore a confused expression. She turned around and comedically popped back into frame. “And by that I mean we’re together again, okay, boyfriend? Okay, see you, baby!”
JFK was even more confused. He shook his head. He’ll think about Cleo later. Right now, he wanted to know why he felt so… defeated. Why did his chest feel heavier? He started thinking about Joan again. He never really thought about her much, not before prom at least. The things he said to her that night were true, he’d always found her good looking, but it felt different now.
After seeing her like that, so beaten and shattered, it was like something inside him shifted. Like, he never wanted to see her like that again. And the way it felt when he was able to make her smile? Amazing. Oh my god, it was amazing. It was honestly kind of heart breaking that someone could ever make her feel so little and worthless. She had always been a beacon of strength to him that his heart ached seeing her feel so weak.
He wasn’t sure what he was feeling, but he knew he needed to tell her. Even if he knew that she wouldn’t return his feelings, he just wanted to tell her how he felt.
“I can’t believe she’d do that! JFK! And Joan! Can you believe it?”
Gandhi took a bite out of the apple that was resting on his lunch tray. “I don’t get what the big deal is.” He shrugged. “You were the one going on and on yesterday about how prom is the place everyone loses their v-card, and you knew her date was with JFK.”
Abe groaned and rolled his eyes. “Yeah, but that’s not the point! She had sex with JFK! She’s Joan, you know? Our Joan. It’s like I don’t even know her!”
Gandhi raised a brow and looked at Abe with a very tired and incredulous expression. “Are you sure this has nothing to do with you and your feelings for Joan?”
“What?” Abe asked, confused.
“Uhm, remember? Last night? During prom? You told me you were in love with Joan? I slapped you? You don’t remember that?”
Memories of that conversation with Gandhi that were previously pushed aside by his memory of Joan in bed with JFK were now resurfacing. “Didn’t you tell her how you felt?”
“No, Gandhi,” he said, putting emphasis on his name. “I was too distracted by, what was that again? Oh right, the image of Joan in bed with JFK!”
Gandhi rolled his eyes again. “You know, I’m starting to think Joan having sex isn’t the problem. You sound like a jealous douche bag.”
Abe scoffed. “Jealous? Who, me? Oh my god, am I?” It was in that moment he had an epiphany. “Oh my god, Gandhi, you’re right. I am in love with Joan.”
“Then what are you doing telling me about it? Go find her!” Gandhi rolled his eyes.
“Thanks Gandhi!” Abe immediately got up and rushed off.
“Okay. Cool. Thanks. Glad we got your thing done, not like I wanted to talk about anything.”
As the bell rang, JFK looked through the different classes, scanning the halls to spot the familiar red hair in the crowd. He looked through the cafeteria before finally seeing her on the field from afar. He raised his arm to wave and began to jog towards her before he noticed a tall figure walking towards her.
He couldn’t make out what they were saying, but she began crying. He already felt his fists curl up into balls before Joan jumped and hugged him. “Yes, Abe! I’ve been waiting for you to ask this for forever! Yes, yes, yes, I’ll be your girlfriend!”
The smile from his face fell. “Oh, there you are baby!” Cleo took his hand and kissed him on the neck. She followed his line of vision, falling on Abe and Joan in the distance. She grimaced. “Ugh, let’s go, I can’t look at that right now.” She dragged his hand away. He watched as Joan’s arms wrapped around Abe before he turned to follow Cleo.