Work Text:
Chaein firmly believed working an office job wasn’t as mundane as people made it out to be. Sure, the days were similar and seemingly merged one after each other, and the smell of coffee and printer ink never really left the air, but Chaein enjoyed the structure and familiarity of it all. No surprises. It was comforting.
She liked having her own space amongst the constant commotion of the office life. Her desk had a few photos of some work friends, and some other personal memories. Her family photo was the biggest, framed and right by her computer. She even had a custom keyboard (okay so it was a gift and she couldn’t say no, but still). Her desk neighbours were good friends, who also appreciated the need to keep their work area clean and up to scratch.
“We’re hanging mistletoe!” The voice behind her sang. Chaein gripped her pen tighter. She didn’t need to turn around to recognise the voice belonged to none other than Na Goeun.
Chaein was a nice person, or at least she thought so. She tried her best to get along with her colleagues and understood the importance of work relationship. If she was being truly honest, some of these people she would consider as close as family. However, if there was one person who Chaein would rather die than be friendly with, Na Goeun fit the bill.
It wasn’t personal, except it really was. There wasn’t much explanation for their argumentative nature, but then again, there was also little reason they would get along in the first place.
Goeun was, as Chaein would often find herself ranting, too different. She liked baking cookies for the Christmas parties and decorating the office for trivial superficial holidays. She liked to sing aloud, and constantly ask the receptionist about her dating life. She knew everyone, and everyone knew her.
God, Chaein wondered how Goeun had gotten involved in a career that was truly the opposite of her nature (and why everyone else had to suffer for it?).
Unsurprisingly, the distaste was returned. It wasn’t anything as dramatic as an office rivalry per se. In fact, Goeun was rather friendly when she had first joined four years ago. It was a little after during an incident after a night out when Chaein had stated a) “Bringing brownies to a club is stupid. Obviously, they look like pot brownies,” and b) “Also these taste like ass,” that Goeun had laughed in response “I think I must have gotten confused between salt and sugar” and God, did drunk Chaein snap.
(There was now an office rule banning Goeun’s brownies.)
Chaein felt bad, until she went to apologise to Goeun, who instead of accepting the heartfelt apology like a sensible adult, decided to insult the colour of Chaein’s hair. That had nothing to do with the fact that she now has it dyed a cool black.
Ever since then, it was no secret that the two hugely disliked each other. Chaein didn’t mind though. She understood that all greatness was hated. It’s like her little brother had once said, “Even Jesus was booed upon.” Regardless of her brother being a stupid frat boy, and that they were barely Christian, she agreed. The mentality was nice.
Another distasteful thing Goeun had started doing was the age-old tradition of Secret Santa. Chaein already gifted her colleagues a few gifts here and there, and now she had to come up with a super exciting cheap gift for possibly an almost stranger. It was a horrible idea.
Her boss loved it and this was their third year doing it.
Chaein held a grudge against her boss now too.
“Everyone, attention please.” Chaein tried to ignore the sound of office chairs swivelling around. She caught the eye of Ireh, her closest friend, who gave her a pointed look.
At least she was getting paid for this.
Chaein turned around, and cautiously eyed the woman who stood on the table beside the printer. Ridiculous.
“Thanks for joining us, Chaein,” Goeun frowned in her direction. She rolled her eyes at Chaein’s scoff, and then turned to the eyes that stared up at her. It was as if a switch flipped inside Goeun all of a sudden and she clapped her hands excitedly. “As you guys know, Christmas is in 54 days. Yes, too soon, I know! So, today, I want everyone to submit their name for Secret Santa and I’m going to come and make sure everyone has also picked out a name.”
A hand shot up from behind Chaein. “Sorry Yuki, all questions at the end.” Goeun immediately shut Yuki down, and Chaein noted how she didn’t sound apologetic at all. Yuki deflated back into her seat.
“Rules,” Goeun carried on, “Yes. So, under $20. Come on, I get paid the same as you, so let’s not go crazy.” She laughed awkwardly, and the others began to laugh along too. Out of pity, Chaein was sure. “Oh, and please, no socks. We already get that from our grandmas.” Everyone laughed that time. Chaein sighed. These people were easily pleased. “Okay lastly, no trading names, and please no sharing who your Secret Santa is. The fun is in the surprise.” Goeun glanced around, “Okay, questions?”
There was a hand that poked up shyly next to Chaein. “Um, when will we be exchanging gifts?” Dosie asked.
“Oh right… The company Christmas party sounds like a good place. It’s just our department that’s participating amongst us, so it should be perfect.” Goeun smiled. Chaein hated her face.
“Can I gift-“ Yuki started.
Goeun cut her off within seconds. “Yuki, come on. It’s a secret.”
Chaein sighed loudly, much to Goeun’s distaste, who ignored Chaein and carried on speaking. “Okay, let’s start putting our names in.”
~
The break room. Oh, the break room. It wasn’t much, a few sofas, some tables, and worn-out chairs. An old vending machine with stale crisps. The scent of desperation and biscuits hung in the air. A small paradise if you may.
A midday coffee was something Chaein enjoyed. Maybe too much. For no particular reason, the tradition has caused Chaein’s mug to become very important to her. It was a picture of a cartoon rabbit with the words ‘Don’t be mad, be hoppy!’ printed on it in big pink letters. Honestly, it was a Secret Santa gift from two years ago. She still recalled how Swan was shaking as she handed the box to Chaein. Swan had only been in the office for three months and was unfortunate enough to witness a few work-related meltdowns Chaein had (read: Goeun left her unwashed fork in the sink). Fortunately for her, Chaein had instantly fell in love with the mug and refused to use any other in the office. Swan still grins whenever she sees it in Chaein’s hands.
There was also a silent rule to let people be amongst themselves there. The tables were the go-to spot for some alone time, and the sofa was usually home to Ireh loudly recounting a story of something that definitely happened.
Chaein gripped her mug tighter as she heard the door open to the room. Although there were these understood rules, some people refused to respect Chaein’s coffee time, and she prayed that the person approaching her just wanted a mug of something warm and some peace too. She continued pouring the sachet of sugar into her black pool of caffeine – a foul attempt to ignore the person who was smiling too brightly beside hers.
“Hello, I am the Secret Santa elf an- Oh, it’s you.” Goeun’s voice dropped immediately as she recognised Chaein. The green and red striped hat she wore on her head was clearly too big and covered her eyes. Chaein cackled as Goeun stumbled into the counter like a lost puppy. Goeun pulled the white, fluffy rim of the hat above her eyes.
Chaein snorted. “God, an elf? This thing gets more ridiculous every year.”
Goeun rolled her eyes at the comment, “Why are you always such a grinch?”
“For not wanting to prance around like you?” Chaein stirred her coffee with her spoon absentmindedly, “You know it’s because you’re short that they make you do it.”
“No, I want to do it,” Goeun bit back, “And it’s because I’m smart, so shut up.” She opened the red Santa sack in her hands and gestured for Chaein to grab a piece of paper, “Just take one. Please.”
Chaein sighed. She placed her fingers in the bag and could feel the multiple pieces of scrunched up paper, and God, there was something wet in there too.
“I don’t have forever.” Goeun grumbled, “I also spilled coffee in there, so just ignore it.” Goeun breathed in deeply, “You’re so stressful. Hurry up already.”
“Whatever,” Chaein retorted. She pulled out a name and gave it a quick glance.
Fuck.
“Wait, Goeun-” Chaein began, but Goeun had already darted halfway across the room.
Goeun hung by the doorway. “No swaps. I don’t care if you got Jieun.” She stuck her tongue out. Chaein wanted to punch Gouen so bad.
“No, it’s worse, ple-“
“La, la, la,” Goeun sang loudly, “I’m leaving!” She skipped, skipped, out the room, and Chaein could hear her festive elf intro from down the corridor.
Chaein groaned and read the piece of paper again. Maybe she misread.
Na Goeun.
She read it again. It had to be wrong.
Na Goeun.
Chaein threw the paper across the room. Goeun even had the nerve to add a heart after her name. Pathetic, really.
~
Chaein always took pride in her work, whether that was filling out an excel sheet, labelling her folders or note-taking during meetings. She supposed she just enjoyed the simpler things in life. In fact, she was currently thrilled about the meeting she was attending being in the exclusive room only used for special, important guests. Chaein remembered the last time she was there. It was around 1:30 pm on a Friday, about two years ago. She couldn’t remember what the meeting was necessarily about, but the memory of those seats still haunts her on random Tuesdays when her spine is about to snap in half.
Chaein entered the room quickly, delighted when the keycard beeped to let her in. She sat down on the seat, and God, Chaein could imagine her version of heaven being this moment. Her fingers drummed on the table impatiently. It was no surprise to anyone that Chaein always arrived early.
It was surprising when Goeun entered the room after a few minutes. Chaein immediately glared at her, and the other just replied with a wink. Chaein felt nauseous.
“Ah, you two,” Their manager walked in a few moments after Goeun, a cautious smile on her face, “You two. You two…” Seulgi trailed off, shuffling her stack of papers on the table. She took a seat at the head of the table.
Seulgi was one of the favourite managers amongst employees because of her easy-going personality and the fact that she often let them leave early on Fridays (and would join them in being hammered Friday evening).
“Hello, it’s nice to see you,” Chaein started, glancing between Goeun and Seulgi, “Is everything okay?”
She smiled once again, “Let me just be frank-“
“Hi Frank,” Goeun interrupted, much to Seulgi’s amusement. The two of them giggled, and Chaein awkwardly let out a laugh too.
“Yes, hi Goeun,” she waved at her, slightly bemused. “As I was saying, I know you two have had some, let’s say issues,” she paused for a second to gather her thoughts, and Chaein could feel how tight her shoulders were, “I was hoping you guys could make up so I can set you an assignment.”
“Assignment?” Chaein and Goeun both asked in sync.
Seulgi laughed. “Yes, we have some investors in Paris and I’d like to send you two to finalise some terms and oversee the deal. I just don’t want to be sending Jerry to her death is all.”
“I think Tom has it worse,” Chaein pointed out, ignoring Goeun’s strained laugh.
“We’re good, actually great friends,” Goeun interjected, “Honestly, arguing is just how we show love, and we can stop immediately, right Chaein?”
“What are yo-” Chaein paused for a moment, noting Seulgi’s surprised face, “Uh, yes, you know, I…” she gulped nervously, “I totally love this girl. Yeah.”
Seulgi perked up. She leaned forward on her shoulders, “Really?”
“Yes,” Chaein straightened up in her seat, raising the excitement in her voice. “Yes! She’s even invited to my house later to watch um… Frozen.”
“Frozen?” Goeun asked, and then quickly changed her tone, “Yes, I’m Olaf. Obviously.”
Seulgi nodded, “Wow, that’s great and settled. Here I thought you two were mortal enemies.”
Chaein awkwardly chuckled at the statement. She gently kicked Goeun’s leg under the table, and bit back a smile when Goeun balled up her fist whilst letting out a strained laugh.
“I will be emailing the both of you the details regarding the deal and the trip,” Seulgi stood up, organising the stack of papers that had attempted to fly out of her hands, “We’ll have a meeting closer to the date.” She sent the both of them another smile and walked out of the room.
Goeun yelled after her as the door closed, “Thanks, see you!” Chaein shook her head.
“Chaein.”
“What?” Chaein sighed, rubbing her temples.
Goeun’s face was a mixture of confusion and glee, “Frozen? Really?”
“I don’t know any Christmas movies,” Chaein muttered, “Also, you’re totally into that Disney shit.”
“See, you know me so well already,” Goeun cooed. Chaein clenched her fist under the table. There was most likely nothing worse on this planet than a movie night with Goeun. She could hear the horrible singing to ‘Let it go’ already. “Listen, we need to maybe not get into any arguments until this trip is over,” Goeun’s voice was much sterner this time, “This opportunity is too good to waste.”
“Yeah, I’m not a dipshit Goeun.” Chaein huffed, and Goeun sighed. “I mean, yeah, good with me, whatever.”
“You’re so insufferable sometimes,” Goeun shook her head and stood up, “But whatever, I love you and goodbye.”
“I lo- She isn’t even here, fuck off,” Chaein groaned, and Goeun just laughed. That woman was pure evil.
~
There was a commotion somewhere. Chaein could sense it. She wasn’t sure where, and truthfully, she couldn’t care. It wasn’t until her desk neighbour, Dosie, gave her an awkward glance and immediately sprinted out of the room that Chaein became suspicious. In fact, now that she was looking around, half the room was empty. Everyone who was there clearly avoided her gaze
She wheeled her chair over to Ireh’s desk.
“What’s going on? Where is everyone?” Chaein asked. She fiddled with the rubber band ball on Ireh’s desk.
Ireh shrugged, “Lunch?”
“It’s like 4 pm, come on,” Chaein rolled her eyes, “I think I’ll go check.”
“What?” Ireh asked a little too loudly, “I mean, why? It’s probably nothing.”
Chaein pursed her lips, “What are you hiding from me?” She accused, and crossed her arms in a huff, “You’re even nosier than me.”
“No, I’m not, that’s offensive,” Ireh took the rubber band ball from Chaein’s hand and placed it next to her keyboard, “Just, I don’t know, you should stay here.”
“You’re so right,” Chaein agreed, her words slow as she wheeled backwards towards her desk.
Ireh stood up. Chaein immediately sprang up too.
“Don’t you dare,” Ireh warned, “I could catch you in my sleep.”
Chaein laughed, “Yeah, as if.” They both eyed each other cautiously. Ireh had the clear advantage since she had a gym membership. All the exercise Chaein would do was walking from her couch to the toilet and back.
Still, Chaein was quick-witted.
“Wait,” Chaein paused, checking her computer (and ignoring the fact the screen was black) “Did you get that email from Seulgi?”
Ireh frowned, and as soon as her back was turned, Chaein ran off. “Loser!” She yelled over her shoulder.
“Chaein,” Ireh was calling after her, but Chaein had already found where her most of her colleagues had disappeared to.
“Guys?” She asked, confused. She hung by the doorway of the break room and noted how they all huddled around the sink. Chaein ignored that her shoulder was bumped by Ireh.
“Chaein,” Dosie shouted suddenly, “Wow, what are you doing here?” Chaein couldn’t recall a time she had ever seen Dosie this awkward (and trust her, Dosie was always awkward).
“I work here?” Chaein replied, confused. “What’s happening?” She stepped inside the room, confused at the familiar faces that were sent her panicked smiles.
“Chaein, listen, I need your help,” Yuki stepped in front of her all of a sudden, a nervous laugh stuck in her throat, “So, like, say, in this totally real scenario, like…”
“Yuki, it’s fine,” Jieun interrupted, “Nothing is the matter. Nothing. Let’s all go. Now.” Jieun patted Chaein’s back as she pulled Yuki away, and a few others followed her.
“That was very unusual,” Chaein muttered. She was suddenly alone in the room.
“Weirdos,” Chaein grumbled to herself again, “Might as well get some coffee.” She stretched her arms. A Thursday at work was stressful for everyone. So close to Friday and the weekend yet still stuck in the middle-of-the-week low. Chaein grabbed her mug and-
She gasped.
Then she screamed.
The handle came off.
The. She couldn’t even form words in her brain.
She couldn’t breathe.
“Chaein, let’s just calm down,” Ireh spoke nervously from beside her Chaein hadn’t realised until this moment how close Ireh was.
She couldn’t believe what was happening now. She turned around quickly. “Who was it?” Chaein seethed, “Who hurt my mug?”
“I- I don’t know.” Ireh stuttered. Chaein also couldn’t recall ever seeing Ireh so anxious.
“Ireh.”
“It was me.” Dosie, who was surprisingly still in the room, piped up.
“You?” Chaein stepped towards her, and Dosie cowered behind the table, “Why are you touching my mug? Eun-”
“Chaein, come on-“ Ireh started, but she was cut off by another voice.
“Leave Dosie alone. It was me,” Goeun sighed. She was standing under the doorway with a tube of glue in her hand, “Look, I’m sorry and I will call Swan and get it replaced.“
Chaein laughed bitterly, “You will replace it? You can’t just replace it! It’s my fucking mug, Goeun. My mug. It’s the principle of it all.”
“It’s just a mug,” Goeun rebutted, “I can get you another one, I swear.”
“It’s not about the mug,” Chaein yelled. She stomped her foot angrily. “You break it and don’t even have the decency to apologise properly or anything,” Chaein picked up a spoon and threw it at the wall next to the door, “You’re so ridiculous. I’m not apologising for throwing your cutlery.”
“It’s not even my spoon. You have actually gone insane.” Goeun shook her head, “You’re not even letting me apologise at all, and you can’t just throw shit at people! Just grow up already.”
Chaein could taste blood in her mouth.
Ireh laughed nervously, “Everyone, let’s calm down, yeah?”
“Grow up?” Chaein pushed Ireh out of the way, “Grow up? Let me show you who is grown.” Chaein stormed out of the break room with a forceful shove of Goeun. She walked into the main office area and hovered over Goeun’s desk.
“Chaein, hey, buddy,” Jieun called from her desk, “Let’s keep a straight head on.”
Chaein smiled. “I am. I am completely fine.” She scanned Goeun’s desk. Chaein had never seen it up-close. It had post-it notes stuck onto the computer screen, and little figurines in a neat row by the side of the desk. Her pencil pot was overflowing with pens, and she had a little sticker set propped up. Pictures of co-workers littered the back of her desk, and Chaein ignored the churn in her stomach when she noticed one of her. Where Goeun got that, she had no clue.
Oh, a snow globe.
She hadn’t noticed it before, but now it was hard to take her eyes off it. It fit in the palm of her hand, and there was an engraving Chaein couldn’t quite make out. The glitters were large, chunky, and a mix of white and iridescent. They covered a little Christmas tree and a few figurines of tiny people like a blanket of snow.
She turned her attention to Jieun, who was watching her curiously, “Oh Jieun, I am so grown.”
“What? You make no sense.” Jieun called out after her, but Chaein had already began her walk back into the break room. Goeun leaned against the fridge with a water bottle in her hand. Dosie and Ireh were nowhere to be seen.
Goeun looked up as Chaein zoomed past her. “Wait, what are you holding?”
Chaein laughed as she dangled the snow globe precariously. She looked back at Goeun, who stared at her, horrified.
“Chaein, wait-“
Chaein rolled her eyes. It was just a snow globe.
She let go of the snow globe and winced a little as it hit the bottom of the sink. It looked like a Christmas themed crime-scene. The glitter pooled out over the shattered glass like blood gushing out a wound. The little figurines once safe inside now floated around the sink – the tree smashed and choking a few figurines under.
Goeun looked down at the mess. “What the fuck?”
“What the fuck?” Chaein mocked, “Fuck you.”
“That was my mother’s,” Goeun whispered, “She gave that to me, you prick.”
Chaein snorted, “Boo-hoo, go ask her for another one.”
“She’s dead.” Goeun breathed out. She was shaking and oh God, Chaein had never felt so guilty.
“I-“ Chaein paused. Her heart was hammering in her chest, “Oh my God Goeun, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know.”
Goeun refused to look at her. “Just go, please.”
“Goeun, I’m really sorry.” Chaein insisted. “If I knew, I wouldn’t have-”
“You know what you are?” Goeun was yelling now, and Chaein stepped back. She had never seen Goeun so angry. “A privileged, overgrown brat. You’re a horrible person, truly despicable. You’re not wanted here, so leave.” Goeun’s breaths were heavy as she clutched the edge of the sink. Chaein decided to not speak anymore.
Chaein walked out of the break room and ignored the cries of anguish she could hear. It felt as if all the air from her lungs has disappeared.
“Ireh, please come with me quick.” Chaein begged as she darted over to Ireh’s desk, “Please.” The air felt cold, and she could sense all the eyes trained on her. She sounded crazy. Maybe she was.
Ireh glanced up at Chaein, “Let’s go buddy.”
Chaein thanked the Gods for Ireh’s existence that day.
~
Chaein rightfully dreaded the next day at work. She already knew it was going to be unpleasant, to say the least. Chaein knew she had messed up, majorly. She had spent the entire evening yesterday trying to find the exact snow globe she so violently destroyed, and with no such luck, she settled on one that was mostly similar. Chaein had never realised how many snow globes existed in the world.
(Too many. Seriously…)
It was awkward amongst her peers, and Chaein knew that the room had only turned quiet because she had walked in. She sighed and set down her bag.
Goeun was yet to come in, and it was already well past midday. Chaein was partly thankful since she had yet to come up with a decent apology.
Should she even apologise, or maybe she could continue ignoring Goeun forever?
Their trip was in four days, and she didn’t want to be stuck with this gut-wrenching guilt and Goeun’s sad eyes imprinted in her thoughts the whole time.
Chaein supposed that maybe it was too soon to speak to Goeun, especially with so many people around, and decided to scroll through her emails as Goeun walked into the room. She heard Dosie tell a stupid joke and Goeun laughed in response. Jieun told her a story of getting locked out of her apartment and Swan was making silly sound effects to go along. Goeun laughed at that too.
Chaein didn’t dare look up.
This was going to be a long day.
It was finally 5 pm, and most of the office had already left. Chaein felt she still had a few things to complete, so she decided to book some overtime and sit alone with her overbearing thoughts.
She turned around and noticed Goeun’s bag was still there.
Perfect.
Chaein reached into her own bag and pulled out the snow globe. It had a tiny Christmas tree and an accompanying snowman – since Goeun loved Olaf – with iridescent glitter and little silver stars adorning the floor. Chaein quickly placed it on Goeun’s desk and sat back down.
A few minutes later, she heard Goeun rummaging around. It killed Chaein to not turn around, but she imagined the smile on Goeun’s face. Pretty, and wide. The one thing Chaein knew about Goeun was that she was unbearably kind. She knew Goeun would appreciate the gesture and they would fall back into their comfortable rhythm. In fact, maybe Chaein would be more open to liking Goeun as a person.
An hour had passed. Goeun left the room, and Chaein chewed on her lip anxiously.
It was strange. No ‘thank you’. Well, she was sure Goeun needed some time to find the right words too.
Chaein sighed and decided to get a snack before she left too. Chaein glanced at her broken mug when she arrived at the break room. It was still hanging around with all the others. How could she part ways? Chaein grabbed a tangerine out of the fruit basket and held the peels in one hand. She strolled over to the bin and her foot pressed a little too hard on the bin pedal. The lid flung open.
Ah.
Chaein frowned.
There was the snow globe.
Goeun had thrown it away.
It was fine, Chaein convinced herself. It was more than fair too. She deserved it.
~
Chaein sat nervously on the plane. Goeun hadn’t spoken to her once.
Not when the company car pulled up outside of Chaein’s home and she had said a cheery “Hello!”
Not throughout the entire car journey as Chaein fidgeted with her seatbelt and bit her tears back at the thought of flying.
Not when they accidentally walked to the wrong gate and Chaein asked her if she knew the correct gate (Goeun just walked away).
She was still waiting for Goeun to say anything. Chaein was desperate at this point. She even asked Goeun if she wanted the window seat, who just gave her a blank look. Chaein shuffled in awkwardly and looked out the window at the tarmac. She wondered what it would feel like to fall onto it from 12,000 m up – if her bones would break or the lack of oxygen would choke her before she even reached the ground. In truth, she had no idea why she took the window seat when she had an irrational fear of heights.
It was fine, though. She hoped.
The lady on the intercom announced the plane would take off in a few minutes. The speaker sounded scratchy and made her skin feel itchy. Chaein sighed and buckled up her seat belt. It was too loose at first, so she decided to tighten it with all her strength. Chaein hissed out as the belt dug into her skin and was sure it would leave a mark. Still, better safe than sorry.
She glanced at Goeun, who stared at the back of the seat in front of her like it was the most interesting thing in the world. If only Chaein could be so easily mesmerised. She wished to float off into another world.
God, she could feel the anxiety claw at the inside of her stomach. Chaein squeezed her eyes shut.
She opened them a few minutes after. Chaein leaned back into her seat and dared a glance out of the window. It was all ocean below them now. Chaein could see the ripples of gold that bled through the water’s surface and wondered if the water filling up her lungs would kill her first or if her body would collapse under the intense pressure. Maybe she would float all the way down and be left to rot in the dark – she was curious whether she’d be at peace then.
She shut her eyes again and imagined herself down in the deep abyss. Alone and suffocated.
“Chaein? Chaein?” Goeun shook Chaein slightly, and shit, when did Chaein grab Goeun’s arm, “Are you okay?”
Chaein let go instantly. “What? Obviously, I am… pranking you.” She didn’t sound convincing, even to herself (and she was a master at self-delusion).
Chaein turned away from Goeun’s burning gaze to look out the window again. It was pretty, she admitted. The large puffs of white streaking across the blue horizon, and the buildings that scattered into little specks of dust. The ocean they had passed was seemingly small, and she could make out the bright lights down below.
“Look, we’re so… so high.” Chaein muttered.
Goeun shifted beside her. “Are you scared of flying, by any chance?” Her voice was so gentle and Chaein wondered what she had done to deserve that.
“Me? No?” Chaein laughed awkwardly, “What’s scary about sitting in a metal death trap that can fall at any moment and we’d all free fall to our death and then-“
“Chaein, my God. Hey, it’s fine,” Goeun reassured. She extended her arm for Chaein to take, “I won’t let go of you.”
Chaein accepted gratuitously, “Please don’t.”
Goeun smiled, and Chaein felt a little silly holding onto Goeun’s arm so tightly she was sure it’d bruise. She looked up at Goeun, who was also looking down at her. Chaein gulped slightly.
Chaein had no idea how to address what had happened between the two of them. Chaein most certainly didn’t deserve the care that bore into Goeun’s eyes when she glanced over at Chaein, or the hand rubbing gentle circles into her back. The guilt in her chest was stewing. She was about to explode at any moment.
“Can I ask you something?” Goeun spoke after a few minutes of silence. Chaein nodded. “Why do you hate me so much?”
Chaein made a weird sound, her lips forming an o-shape. Honestly, it was something she had never thought about before. It was not as if she truly hated Goeun, more that she had become accustomed to disliking her. Honestly, she appreciated a few things Goeun had done over the years – she would just rather die than let Goeun know.
“You’d rather die?” Goeun asked in disbelief, “God, you really do hate me.”
“I didn’t realise I was thinking out loud,” Chaein sat up immediately, “It’s not that I’d rather die, just die. I mean, it’s an expression, stupid.”
Goeun chuckled, “You can’t go two seconds without insulting me, huh?”
“I’m sorry, really. For everything,” Chaein shifted awkwardly in her seat, “I’m not really good at apologising, but I do mean it.”
“I can tell. You suck at it,” Goeun snorted, “Try to look a little sincere at least.” Chaein laughed, and then laughed more at how high-pitched Goeun’s laughter was.
“Also,” Goeun added on, “I knew my brownies sucked. I just didn’t expect you to be so mean about it.”
Chaein rolled her eyes, “I was drunk and hungry. How can you even mess up like that?”
Goeun giggled beside her, “To be fair, I was a little tipsy when I made them.”
“Well, you didn’t have to be mean to my hair.”
“Poopy brown did not suit you very well,” Goeun shrugged, “You should thank me.”
Chaein snorted, “Shut up. You’re insufferable.” She checked her hair in her phone’s reflection, much to Goeun’s amusement.
“We’re good now?” Goeun sounded hesitant. Her fingers were tapping on the arm rest impatiently.
Chaein placed her hand over Goeun’s, “We’re good. Seriously.” Goeun let out a sigh of relief. “I won’t stop insulting you though.”
“I wouldn’t want it any other way.”
Chaein hummed in satisfaction and decided to close the little curtain by the window. She had enough of the nightmare scenarios that plagued her mind.
She turned to look at Goeun, who was sifting through Christmas movies on the TV. Chaein scrunched her nose in distaste, which caught the attention of a surprised Goeun.
“How can you not like Christmas movies?” Goeun remarked, “You’re seriously so miserable.”
“Christmas at my house feels like a Hallmark movie,” Chaein claimed, “My brother and his wife always have some sort of huge misunderstanding, and he loves throwing some grand gesture to win her back. My mum loves it,” Chaein sighed. “I already know it’s going to be so bad this year.”
“Please, that sounds entertaining,” Goeun grinned.
Chaein pretended to throw up, “It is not. One year, he actually chased her to the airport. Who does that?”
Goeun laughed harder, “The holidays must be fun. I bet your mum loves baking too.”
“Good guess. I should ask her to send you some tips,” Chaein mused, “You’d love it. The entire house smells like gingerbread and cinnamon.”
“Heaven,” Goeun enthused, “Actual heaven.”
Their ideas of heaven were drastically different.
(Chaein’s was a world free of people and unlimited pizza.)
“What are the holidays like at yours?” Chaein asked.
“Lonely,” Goeun admitted with a deep sigh, “It’s just me, some red wine and Netflix, if I’m honest.” She was playing nervously with the bracelet on her wrist.
Chaein frowned. She could have never imagined Goeun, whose Christmas fever was most likely bigger than Father Christmas’ himself, would spend the holidays so despondent.
“How come?”
“I guess because my mum passed away. She was kind of our glue, really.” Goeun winced, “I don’t think about it much.” Chaein knew Goeun was lying, but she wasn’t exactly the most comforting person.
“Don’t let the awkwardness consume you,” Goeun snickered, “Seriously, I’m used to it.”
“Well,” The word hung in the air for a moment, “Maybe you should join me for Christmas this year. It could be fun.”
Goeun raised an eyebrow. Her face morphed into a mixture of bewilderment and surprise, “Me? Didn’t you hate me just a second ago?”
“You just love living in the past,” Chaein pushed her shoulder jokingly, “Get over it.”
“I’m serious!” Goeun exclaimed a little too loudly. The elderly couple in the row beside them glared.
“My mum would love it if I bought someone home. Seriously, you should come.”
Goeun looked at her curiously. Chaein never usually had trouble reading Goeun, but she couldn’t decipher the thoughts behind those big, honey-brown eyes.
“Lee Chaein, are you asking me on a date?”
“I- Well-“ Chaein stuttered. She was completely shocked.
Goeun’s lip was quirked in amusement.
“No! Obviously not.” Chaein finally breathed out, and Goeun had burst out into laughter beside her.
“Someone has a crush,” Goeun teased. She looped their arms together, “Just so you don’t fall off the plane.”
Chaein snorted, “Whatever”.
She made sure to face the wall when she smiled.
~
The rest of the flight went well, for the most part. Goeun was sure her arm was broken when they hit some turbulence and Chaein had almost screamed. Their ride to the hotel was short, and the second they finished checking in, they bid goodbye and ran for their rooms. Chaein had never slept better.
They were sat in a café that Seulgi had recommended for when they first arrived. It was a short walk from the hotel and passed overtop a small river. Chaein asked (read: forced) Goeun to take a thousand photos of her, and instantly got a hateful message from Ireh when she posted it on her Instagram story (“Who views someone story so quick?” Chaein had muttered. “A fan,” Goeun had responded jokingly).
“Paris,” Chaein said once Goeun sat down opposite her, “Where are we going first?”
Goeun smiled sarcastically, “Work. We’re going to our job.”
The café itself was pretty and quaint. The dark browns of the table were adorned with vases of all colours, and the flowers that bloomed from them were attractive shades of red and pink. The walls were littered with posters and framed photographs, and Chaein found herself admiring how well-knit the place seemed to be. After spending too long trying to decipher the menu, she had settled on her beloved coffee and a croissant, while Goeun opted for some cake.
“You’re really going to the meeting on a sugar high?” Chaein asked once their food had arrived. It was a hypocritical question to ask, considering she was stirring in a little too much sugar into her coffee.
Goeun shrugged, “This whole day is going to be a high. Come on. Closing a deal is easy.”
Chaein shook her head amused. Frankly, she was concerned the trip would be one awkward mess, and she was glad her irrational, but very valid, fear of heights was the perfect icebreaker.
“Hmm,” Goeun hummed, “I’m guessing climbing the Eiffel Tower is off the list?”
Chaein rolled her eyes, “Please. I’d be fine.”
“You’d be fine? You didn’t let go of me the entire flight.” Goeun extended her arm teasingly.
“Shut up,” Chaein rebutted. She took a hold of Goeun’s hand, “I’ll be fine if you’re with me.” Goeun laughed awkwardly. “My personal stress ball,” Chaein added quickly, and took a sip of her coffee.
“We should’ve got these to go,” Goeun’s eyes widened as she checked the time on her phone, “Or you could’ve stared at the menu less.”
“My French is great. It’s not my fault theirs is wrong.”
“You’re so- No, we don’t have time for this.” Goeun took another bite of her cake, and wiped her lips with a tissue, “So good.”
Chaein gave her an incredulous look, “Didn’t you just say we had to leave?”
Goeun took another spoonful of cake, and waved it teasingly in front of Chaein’s face, “Come on, you want some.”
Chaein licked her lips. The bitter taste of coffee welcomed her tongue.
“Here comes the airplane,” Goeun sang. She waved the spoon around the table, ignoring the looks of confusion from the diners next to them. Chaein covered her face with her hands in embarrassment.
She looked up and saw the cake sat there. It was mocking Chaein, with its freshly whipped frosting and sweet scent. She finally admitted defeat and opened her mouth. Goeun snickered and leaned over the table to feed her the cake.
The cake itself was simple, but a triumph of sugar and flour. “Give me more,” Chaein whined immediately.
“Say please like a good baby,” Goeun demanded, waving another spoonful in front of her.
Chaein choked on the few crumbs stuck in her throat, and Goeun quickly handed her a glass of water, “Did you just call me baby?” Chaein asked after gulping half a cup of water.
Goeun stuttered, “N- No, what? Look at the time, let’s go.” She abruptly stood up.
Chaein looked up at her. Goeun refused to look back.
“You’re weird,” Chaein stated in a matter-of-fact tone. She left a few bills on the table as a tip and followed Goeun out of the café.
~
It turns out that no matter the country you are in, work will never be enjoyable. Chaein was tired of listening to unenthused voices list points that had already been discussed multiple times over Zoom calls, and she was thankful when the papers had finally been dressed up with signatures.
Goeun and Chaein had both graciously taken to the streets, and Paris in the dimly lit darkness was so much prettier than the harsh sunlight of the day. Rows of string lights hung above the streets, and Goeun was pointing out every single Christmas tree she spotted. They furnished the storefronts and the windows, and Goeun begged for photos in front of the massive tree in the town square. Chaein laughed as Goeun went to pose next to a blow-up snowman, and blushed when Goeun asked to take photos of her too.
They passed through a little market afterwards. It had a small ice rink in the centre, and booths littering each side. Goeun gravitated to a stall selling baubles – Chaein shook her head and decided to tease Goeun on her choices.
“Why do you want that? It’s ugly,” Chaein scrunched up her nose. It was a red bauble with a drawing of a cat in a much too large green Christmas sweater, and Chaein was almost certain it was a drawing by a child. The glitter had rubbed off onto Goeun’s hands, and she was twisting them in the light. Chaein smiled at her child-like wonder.
“You know what?” Goeun spoke after a few seconds, “You should stay here, and I am going to go to that stall to buy something for my Secret Santa.” She pointed to a stall a few metres away, and Chaein sent her a thumbs up in response.
She turned back to the bauble booth once Goeun had left. Sure, Chaein could buy Goeun the bauble as her secret Santa gift, but it just felt too obvious.
A while had passed when Goeun found Chaein by the ice rink. Chaein greeted her, and noted the little silver bag in her hands, and how her cheeks had turned crimson from the cold. Pretty was the word that came to Chaein’s mind, but she ignored it.
“Do you know how to do this? Skate?” Chaein asked, gesturing towards the rink.
Goeun nodded quickly, “Yeah, just slide.” She mimicked a sliding action slowly.
Chaein found the response questionable, but decided to not comment on it, “Let’s go then?”
Goeun clapped excitedly, and Chaein snorted.
They both found themselves at the edge of the ice rink minutes later. Goeun gripped onto the railing as if her life depended on it, while Chaein stood next to Goeun with her arms crossed.
“I thought you said you knew how to skate.” Chaein decided that Goeun looked like a baby giraffe learning to use its gawdy legs. It was cute. Goeun put up her middle finger, to which Chaein dramatically gasped.
“Take my hands,” Chaein extended her arms and wiggled her fingers, “I won’t drop you.” Goeun eyed her suspiciously and sighed. She was out of options. Goeun clutched onto one of Chaein’s hands, a little too stubborn about the second.
Chaein interlocked their fingers, and squeezed her hand tightly, “Come on, seriously. I’d never let go.”
“I’m not scared you’ll let me go, I’m scared I will fall,” Goeun frowned. She tapped her skate against the ice, “It’s so hard.”
“Do you seriously think I wouldn’t catch you if you fell?” Chaein’s voice was low, and Goeun turned to look at her. Her eyes were wide and speckled with stars. Chaein felt mesmerised.
Goeun stopped moving, “Will you? Catch me?”
“Don’t you want to find out?” Chaein offered her free hand. She could see the conflict in Goeun’s face.
“Catch me, please?” Goeun whispered, and she let go of the railing. She wobbled slightly and Chaein clasped her hand.
“I’ll go backwards, and you just skate towards me, okay?”
“Don’t crash into anyone.” Goeun begged, and Chaein scoffed in return. “Come on, you’re going backwards.”
“You are safe. Seriously.” Chaein moved back slowly and simultaneously turned her head to check the path was clear. Goeun’s legs were shaking and her body was stiff, but she was still gliding forward.
“I’m doing it, oh my God!” Goeun yelled in excitement, “Look at me go!”
Goeun took longer strides, one foot after the other. It was clear she was trying to keep her legs as steady as possible whilst getting used to the friction of the ice.
Chaein would describe ice skating as serene. It was peaceful and sometimes, it felt hypnotic. She looked at the girl in front of her with the warm brown hues for eyes and smiled. Maybe they hypnotised her too.
“Chaein!” Goeun shouted, “Wall!”
“What wall- Fuck!” Chaein could feel her breath being pushed out of her lungs and she groaned as her back collapsed against the railing. There was a weight of another body on her chest, but the throbbing in her back was clouding her thoughts. The white lights above blinded her, but she could still make out the blurry outline of a face in her eyeline.
“Chaein? Are you okay?” The weight shifted, and she looked up dazed.
“Goeun?” Chaein weakly asked, ”Is that you?”
Goeun pressed her hand against Chaein’s cheek. The coldness that radiated from her hand felt good against Chaein’s skin.
“I told you I’d catch you,” Chaein whispered. She smiled as Goeun laughed aloud.
Later that night, after Chaein was checked by some first aiders and they had left the rink, Chaein looked down at her hands. They were glowing with glitter.
~
Their second and last day in Paris was filled with a lunch at the company they had signed as a formal thank you, and the exchanging of files and way too many folders. Chaein wondered what the point of the internet was if paperwork was still so prominent.
They had come back to Goeun’s hotel room afterwards, too tired to explore the city yet too awake to fall asleep. Goeun insisted Chaein come over and join her in watching a Christmas movie, and Chaein wasn’t quite sure how to say no. She was currently sat on Goeun’s bed with a hot chocolate warm in her hands (Goeun refused to give her coffee. “It’s the holidays, have some spirit,” she claimed.) and the Netflix logo stared her down.
“Any recommendations?” Goeun asked, “Wait, why am I asking you?”
Chaein scoffed, “I like ‘Love Actually’ actually. Do they have it?”
Goeun hummed as she searched for the title on Netflix. Chaein stared at her and wondered if her lips had always been so pink.
(Yes.)
“Lucky for you, they do. I never expected you to have a favourite Christmas movie.”
“Guess I am full of surprises,” Chaein shrugged, and she took a sip from her mug.
Goeun turned towards Chaein, “Hey, this is all on the company card, right?” Chaein nodded in response. “So, room service?”
Chaein pursed her lips in thought for a moment, and then immediately accepted the proposition. When else would she get the opportunity to blow through some company money? Goeun placed the menu on the bed, and their eyes instantly scanned the words. God, Chaein wasn’t even sure what half these words meant.
“Let’s just order and see what turns up?” Chaein suggested after a few minutes. She laughed at the way Goeun pronounced certain French words but decided to keep her gloating for another day.
Goeun pointed at an item on the menu, “Perfect idea. I want that. Sounds fun.” Chaein shook her head at Goeun’s enthusiasm. She supposed it could be classed as cute to certain people. She was not one. Probably.
Chaein picked up the telephone from its stand and dialled the number provided for room service. If there was one thing he agreed with Goeun about, it was that this would be fun.
Twenty minutes into ‘Love Actually’ was when the door knocked. Goeun jumped up, clearly startled. Chaein chuckled.
“Shut up,” Goeun muttered. She stood up and walked over to the door. Chaein’s eyes were focused back onto the movie (it was her favourite for a reason) and only at the sound of Goeun clapping impatiently did she pause the movie.
“I didn’t think you actually liked the movie, you know,” Goeun said as she took her seat back next to Chaein. A few plates of food were on the bedside table beside Chaein.
Chaein rolled her eyes at the foolish statement, “Why else would I suggest it?”
Goeun shrugged. She then pointed towards a bowl of spaghetti dressed in a rich, creamy white sauce, “Pass me that. I’m so hungry.” Her stomach growled.
Chaein took the bowl into her hands and hummed, “I could, but then again, maybe I couldn’t.”
Goeun furrowed her eyebrows, “Excuse me?”
Chaein spun some spaghetti around her fork and held it in front of Goeun’s face. The poor woman was drooling. Chaein took a bite and gasped, “This is so fucking good. What the hell.”
“Chaein, share.” Goeun whined.
Chaein took another bite, “Oh my god. Wow.”
Goeun glared at her.
Chaein laughed and finally passed her the bowl. Goeun excitedly took a bite.
“It’s not that good,” Goeun punched Chaein on the shoulder softly, “You made it up.”
“C’est la vie!” Chaein sang, and Goeun sighed.
“Idiot.”
Goeun pressed play once again. Chaein took a sip of her second hot chocolate (she ordered another one… what about it?). Goeun suddenly started snorting and ignored Chaein’s confused sounds. Chaein turned towards the elder, who stuck her thumb out. It swiped against the top of her lip and Chaein ignored how fast her heart was pounding.
“You had a moustache,” Goeun giggled. Chaein thanked her quietly. Her eyes refused to leave the screen now, and she was sure her cheeks were bright red by now.
Chaein wasn’t sure when in the movie it was that Goeun had decided her arm was a perfect pillow, but she didn’t mind.
Chaein also wasn’t sure when she had started wishing for Goeun to always be this close.
~
“Chaein!”
Chaein grinned at the sound of her name. Oh, how good it felt to be missed. She turned around and walked towards the excited girl.
“Ireh!” Chaein enveloped her in a hug, “It was only two days.”
Ireh grabbed her shirt, right above where her heart is, “Come on, doesn’t that mean I can’t miss you? This girl and emotions.” Ireh scoffed.
“I missed you too.” Chaein punched her jokingly, “I bought you back a magnet.” She fished a little magnet out of her pocket. It was a baguette with the word ‘Paris’ as the filling. Chaein was confused when she had seen it in the market, and immediately knew it belonged on Ireh’s fridge.
Ireh laughed instantaneously once seeing the magnet, “You sure know how to make a girl feel special.” Chaein pulled up her chair at Ireh’s desk and listened as the other told her about how Swan had fit 19 grapes into her mouth after losing a bet. It was a few moments later when she felt a tap on her shoulder and turned around.
“Goeun?” Chaein asked, confused. The other smiled at her. It was reminiscent of sunshine.
“Your hairbrush was in my bag. I don’t know how it got there.” Goeun shrugged and handed her the brush.
Chaein furrowed her eyebrows, “That isn’t my hairbrush.”
“Oh,” Goeun took the brush back and inspected it, “I guess I’ll dump it in lost and found.”
“Thanks anyway,” Chaein said, “Are we still on for lunch?”
Goeun nodded, and waved goodbye afterwards.
“Lunch?” Ireh echoed once Goeun was far away enough, “You. Goeun. Lunch?”
Chaein pursed her lips as she turned back around, “Is it so hard to believe?”
“Yes!” Ireh exclaimed, “You guys weren’t speaking for a week and now you’re going on lunch?”
Chaein pressed her finger to Ireh’s lips, “Shut up.”
In fact, lunch became a regular outing for the two of them. It was a few weeks after Paris, and 1 pm had come a lot sooner than Chaein had to prepare for. Goeun was beside her desk asking if she was ready and the lie of “yeah, totally” had left her lips before her brain could even register it. They were walking to a diner not too far away, and Goeun was retelling a story Yuki had told her about the big fight in the upstairs division.
Chaein couldn’t help but smile at how vividly Goeun was speaking. Her hands were everywhere as she described what was happening, and Chaein wondered how she never lost breath.
Honestly, Chaein found a lot of her time was spent thinking about Goeun. How Goeun’s hands felt in hers, and the rosy blush that often adorned her cheeks, the way her eyes disappeared into moons when she laughed, and how someone so sweet must taste like sugar.
(Chaein thought about the last point a lot more than the others.)
Their familiar diner welcomed them, and they slid into their regular booth by the window. Chaein liked to watch the city fly by.
“I think I’ll get a panini today,” Goeun hummed as she read the menu, “You?”
“Hard choice…” Chaein trailed off. In the end, she decided on a sandwich.
One of her favourite things about this diner was their hospitality, and after their weekly catchup with the lovely lady who served them, their food was presented in front of them.
Goeun immediately took a photo.
“You can’t eat a meal without taking a photo, can’t you?”
Goeun shrugged, “Is it such a crime to want to capture beauty?”
“Oh yeah?” Chaein asked, “I should take a photo of you then.” Goeun’s cheeks turned red, but Chaein pretended it was the cold, winter air at work (even though this place was very warm and cosy).
“Be my guest,” Goeun spoke a few moments later. Chaein smiled.
She took a bite of her sandwich, relishing in the sensational taste that enveloped her tongue, “This tastes so good,” Chaein groaned, “You’re missing out.”
“Better than me?” Goeun asked nonchalantly. She leaned forward on her shoulders, panini long forgotten and untouched on her plate.
Chaein glanced between Goeun’s lips and the sandwich, “Never.” She paused for a moment as Goeun laughed, “I mean, gross. What?” Her voice was too high for her liking. “What’s wrong with you?”
Goeun laughed harder. For a moment, it felt as if she had started choking.
She looked up at Chaein with a smile and God, all Chaein could notice was how close and red Goeun’s lips were.
She was cursed, she decided.
~
Chaein was going through possibly the biggest crisis of her life. She didn’t know it could be so hard to find a gift for a woman who seemingly loved everything. In fact, Chaein couldn’t think of one thing Goeun disliked. She was sure Goeun would be ecstatic over a pack of pink pencils.
That was far from the problem. The issue was Chaein didn’t just want to get Goeun anything, but rather something special. There was just nothing special to give, at least in their mall.
“Chaein, the party is tomorrow. Seriously, how could you leave it this long?” Ireh chastised beside her, and Chaein just groaned loudly.
“You can leave, you know. I already have one mother.”
Ireh snorted, “Someone is in a mood.” Chaein glared at her, and Ireh held her hands up in surrender.
Another hour of mindless walking passed, and Ireh had bid her farewell. Chaein watched her disappear into the crowd of busy bodies and sighed. Oh, how she wished that was her right now.
Chaein never thought this could be so hard. Maybe it was just the perfectionist in her, but she craved to find the perfect gift. A gift that would let Chaein see Goeun’s smile and all the crinkles in the corner of her lips, the little scrunch of her nose and her ears that turned the brightest shade of pink. Maybe Chaein felt a little lost sometimes when she investigated Goeun’s eyes, drowning in the pools of honey they held, and maybe when Goeun shook her slightly and asked where she had disappeared to, the tug in Chaein’s chest reminded her how vulnerable she had suddenly become to Goeun’s touch.
Maybe she just wanted to find a gift to represent those moments, but maybe it was impossible. Yet as she walked past a random store on a random floor of their mall, her eyes widened in surprise.
It wasn’t exactly the sum of all her feelings, but for Goeun, it was perfect.
~
The Christmas party was bigger every year. Chaein had arrived around an hour ago and was still finding herself impressed by the surroundings. White snow was garnished alongside the walls, and silver tinsel hung from every surface. Glittering snowflakes hung from the ceiling as coloured lights danced back and forth around the floor.
Chaein checked her watch and noticed she was about to be late for Secret Santa. That would be a nightmare. She politely pushed through the crowd until she spotted the meeting point that had been decided. Chaein couldn’t help but chuckle at Dosie’s frantic pacing.
“It will be fine, don’t panic,” Chaein assured as she walked up to the frowning Dosie.
Dosie breathed out, “Thanks. I just had no idea what to get this person.”
“Trust me,” Chaein snorted, “I spent 5 hours shopping, and barely landed on a good gift.”
Dosie laughed quietly, “Shit. Hope I don’t have you.” Chaein laughed along with her.
She heard the familiar clapping that had once cursed her existence (now it felt like a blessing) and looked around to find the source. Goeun stood by a table, where the gifts were all placed. She was in a silly Christmas jumper, and the same elf hat she wore the day she gave out names. Chaein smiled fondly at her. Goeun caught her eye and smiled back.
“Okay guys, it looks like we are all here,” Goeun finished counting the people in front of her, “Thank you to everyone for participating and, well, have at them!” She gestured towards the table, and a swarm of people suddenly surrounded the gifts. Chaein was amused by the excitement – it was as if they were stray animals being fed for the first time. Although after she noted the smiles on everyone’s faces, she supposed the idea of Secret Santa wasn’t so bad after all. She walked towards the table after most people had finished picking their gifts and found a blue bag with her name on it. Interesting.
She leaned against the table and dug her hand into the bag.
“Excited?” Swan asked from beside her, “I’m excited. I wonder what mine is.”
“Whatever it is, I’m sure it’s great,” Chaein replied.
Chaein pulled out a stapler set.
Chaein gasped.
“It’s the one I’ve wanted for so long,” She squealed, and looked around to see if anyone was watching. Yuki stared at her from a distance.
“Oh, thank God, you like it!” Yuki yelled at her, “I was scared!”
“Yuki, thank you.” Chaein saluted her. Yuki saluted back and they both laughed.
Looking around, it seemed most people had received gifts they were pleased with. Ireh was affectionately holding a book of dad jokes and a pack of biscuits (which Chaein was not planning to steal), and Jieun was excitedly redoing her hair with the Sanrio hairclips she received. Swan danced beside Chaein with a large megaphone (Chaein was going to kill whoever gave her that), Yuki was giggling to herself about her new Nintendo Switch case and Dosie was looking at her bag in confusion. Chaein spotted Goeun on a chair in the corner.
“How is it?” Chaein hovered over Goeun nervously.
Goeun looked up at her and grinned. Chaein has no words to describe Goeun’s smile, for it was a thing of unspeakable beauty, but she felt elated in the moment.
Goeun held the cat plushie in her arms, “It’s so perfect. I love him.”
Chaein sighed in relief. She raised an eyebrow when Goeun stood up and grinned to herself when Goeun wrapped her arms around Chaein’s neck. Chaein could feel Goeun’s hot breath brushing against her neck, a feeling she didn’t know she craved.
“Thank you,” Goeun whispered, and Chaein couldn’t move. She was frozen.
Goeun looked up at her in curiosity. Her lips were so soft and pink. Chaein wondered if she applied a new lipstick. It almost felt like a sign that she should lean over and close the gap.
“I like the cat’s earring,” Goeun commented, “Is it a bauble from Paris?”
Chaein nodded, “The one you liked was ugly. This one is cute.”
“You’re cute,” Goeun teased. Chaein ignored the thrum of her heart. The bauble in question was a bright green sphere. It pictured a snowman and a cat drinking hot chocolate, and it felt reminiscent of their days in Paris.
“Thank you, I really like it.” Goeun bit her lip, and Chaein could hear the weight in her words.
“I really-“
“Goeun!” Someone yelled from across the room. Goeun looked at Chaein, and let go of her instantly, “I’ll be back soon.”
“-Like you.” Chaein finished to the air, “I really like you.”
She was speaking to herself.
~
The holidays were fun, Chaein thought as she inserted a new photo into her picture frame. She had invited Goeun over as promised, who after much pleading (and a call with Chaein’s mother) agreed to stay over. It felt different, but in a good way. Chaein decided she liked Goeun best in her ugly Christmas sweaters, and she even let Goeun force her into one.
As predicted, her elder brother sang his wife a very poor rendition of ‘All I Want for Christmas Is You’, to which his wife had cried and tormented everyone by kissing him. Chaein’s mother had later pushed Chaein to sing, where she sang a few lines of ‘Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer’ and ran off stage embarrassed. Goeun had poked her nose and promised Chaein that she was cuter than Rudolph. It was then that Chaein’s younger brother pretended to throw up.
She placed the frame back. It was a picture of her family and Goeun by the Christmas tree.
“I think someone left mistletoe up here.”
Chaein turned around in her seat and looked up to see Goeun on her tiptoes with the green leaf waving in the air.
“You know the rules,” Goeun teased.
Chaein grinned widely. She stood up and pushed Goeun’s hand back down. “I do love rules,” Chaein hummed, and suddenly, Goeun kissed her, slow and tender. There was a pleasant sensation that spread throughout Chaein’s body and she pulled Goeun in closer.
Goeun pulled away for a moment, a grin stuck to her face.
“Goeun,” Chaein whispered, her breath heavy, “Will you go on a date with me?”
Goeun giggled, “About time. You really kept me waiting.”
Chaein shook her head, “I’m sorry. Let me make it up to you.” Chaein pulled Goeun back in for another kiss.
“Fucking gross.” Chaein ignored Ireh’s comment.
Nothing could ruin this.