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Lumine hugs her blankets tight, sobs wrecking her body as her tears stain the pale blue blankets a darker shade.
It was all a lie.
The happy memories which once had a warm yellow filter on them, twists into cold, sharp daggers piercing at her heart.
Every moment, every loving gaze he gave her, have been censored, his face turned into a mosaic of someone she didn’t know.
She pictures him with a cruel, sadistic smile after each warm smile he shot her.
She remembers the first time she met him.
Their eyes meet as he enters the room. He has a mop of messy orange hair, piercingly sharp blue eyes, and is quite tall.
She’s heard he’s with the Fatui gang, so it’s best if she distances herself.
They are nothing but trouble.
He doesn’t allow her to though.
“Hey there, new girl!” He says as he walks right up to her.
She is surprised. What does he want from her?
And it’s from that moment that she started falling, falling into the depths of his eyes that are as blue and as deep as an ocean.
When he calls her “girlie”, kisses her knuckles, and slings his arm across her shoulders, she can’t help but fall deeper.
The only way out was down.
And when he confessed, with a bouquet of lilies, her favourite flowers, she accepted, her eyes widening in happiness, the feeling in her chest blooming so warmly. He hugs her and swings her around as she laughs in glee.
Every day after that was just so amazing, as she goes on dates with him, at the cafe, at the park. She even met his family.
They were so happy together. She was so happy with him.
But, alas, it seems, she has forgotten that nothing in life is perfect, and that things don’t always go the happy route.
She knew he was trouble when he walked in.
But she ignored that, and indulged in her happy fantasies.
She forgot that illusions don’t last forever, and she’ll have to return to reality soon.
It was his words that shook her to the cold, jarring reality.
Tears squeeze through her eyelids.
His words shattered her heart to pieces.
How could he- How- especially in front of-
She was absolutely devastated and humiliated.
So she ran, she ran, far, far away, hoping to escape this nightmare. Hoping that it was a nightmare. But it was all too real.
Her friends ran after her, and it made her feel a bit better as they comforted her.
Her brother swears murder on him.
But that won’t make her feel better.
Nothing can fill up that devastatingly deep hole in her chest.
She entrusted him with her heart and he broke it without a care.
She wants to scream at him, to humiliate him the way he did her, except a thousand times worse.
But wasn’t it all her fault in the end?
Her fault for giving her heart away. Her fault for trusting him. Her fault for believing they could work. Her fault, her fault, her fault.
Maybe it’s because of how pathetic she is that he ditched her. Pathetic for not realising he was just playing with her.
This was usually the time where he puts his hand on her cheek, raises it to look at his eyes, and tells her that she shouldn’t be thinking like this, that she’s amazing.
Well she sure was an amazing girlfriend, so amazing he abandoned her.
She deletes that memory.
It was all lies, after all.
A bitter laugh wells up in her throat. Here she is, so pathetically wallowing in sadness whilst he is definitely laughing at her.
Lumine is walking along the corridors of her school, her head bowed low, partly to hide from the embarrassment everyone’s prying stares, and partly to hide the teardrops gathering in her eyes.
When she’s at a more quiet and secluded part of the corridor, however, a hand roughly grabs her arm and pulls her along to a little corner hidden from the view of any person who walks by.
She gasps and flinches as she recognises the grip of the person who’s pulling her.
When they are safely in the dark corner, she forcefully yanks her hand out of his grip, raising her head defiantly to glare at the person in front of her.
“What do you want now? Humiliate me further? Rub salt into open wounds?” She sharply says, tears that she had cried out a few hours ago welling up in her eyes again.
Childe raises his hand slightly, in the process of repeating the familiar gesture of wiping her tears away, but withdraws it.
“Look, I didn’t mean to-” He tries to start.
“To break up so publicly? And embarrassing me so much?! Yeah, I’m sure you didn’t!”
“I had to break up publicly with you, because the Fatui needed our relationship to be low-profile!”
She narrows her eyes at him.
“We can still continue what we had, just in secret! Me having a relationship with you is bad for the Fatui’s reputation, not to mention people could make use of that to hurt you!”
“Oh, so I’m supposed to go crawling back to you now? After crying my eyes out?” Snarkiness drips from every word.
“But, I- you know I love you! And I still do!”
“And so you say! Then why couldn’t you break up with more consideration of my feelings?! Why did you have to publicly humiliate me like that?! Do you not care for me?”
“Remember when you promised that I’ll always be the most important thing in your world?”
Childe’s face blanched.
“Then why do you prioritize the Fatui over me? You make a promise, you keep it.”
“Like I said we could still be together as long as we publicly break up-”
“Do you know how much I cried after that embarrassment? Yay, the Fatui’s image is maintained, but what about mine? Why is it that you say you’re doing this for us , but you don’t truly care about me? It seems more like you’re doing this for yourself!”
“You know-w, I was so happy with you that-t I forgot the reality of our relationship…”
At this point, tears are freely falling from Lumine’s eyes that are golden swirls of emotion.
“...” Childe opens and closes his mouth, trying to find words to say, but to no avail.
“I’m not experienced in romantic matters, but I think that a healthy relationship is a balance, one where each person gives and takes the same. I gave you my whole heart, my trust, everything! But you didn’t give me your heart.”
“You didn’t trust me enough to tell me about yourself, to even tell me about this break-up plan of yours! Why?! Because you think you’re supposed to take on this burden alone? Well, since we were together, I think it’s also my duty to take on some of this burden isnt’ it? And since this break-up plan very much involves me, shouldn’t you at least discuss with me about it? At least allow me to mentally prepare myself or something!”
“I don’t know, maybe I’m just selfish for wanting more, for craving more trust and love! But what you’ve done has really, really , hurt me and you don’t even seem to care, with that nonchalant face of yours, until I’m here screaming about everything to your face!”
“So stop, stop, saying you love me when each of those words is a lie!”
“I gave you my heart and you fucking broke it so I just don’t want to see you anymore, at least allow me to move on properly!”
Truthfully, some optimistic naive part of Lumine wished for Ajax to tell her that everything was a lie, that he still loved her, so that they could get back together. But now that she sees everything so clearly, she can’t continue this illusion, because ignoring reality isn’t wise, and she really can’t be with Ajax after what he’s done.
“Lumi, I-” Childe finally finds his voice and looks over at her despairingly.
The soft part of her is in pain at the sight of his sorrowful gaze and the guilt in his voice but she hardens her resolve.
“Don’t ever call me that again. Only call me Lumine. Since you wanted us to breakup for sake of the Fatui, why not go one step further and actually break up?”
“I think you too, was stuck in an illusion. An illusion of what we could be even after what you said in front of the whole school at the cafeteria. Well, it sucks, but you know, illusions don’t last forever, because reality exists.”
“So from now on, we’re just strangers. Strangers with memories. Goodbye Childe.” Lumine says icily, her golden eyes flashing dangerously as she walks off.
Childe.
She had always called him Ajax in that endearing tone of hers, filled with such fondness.
His chest twists painfully at every step Lumine makes, every step she takes away from him.
Their paths diverging.
And so, she slips out of his life, like sand falling through the cracks in his hands, like the wisps of a beautiful golden dream.
He fucked up.