Chapter Text
The warp core had been destroyed.
Destroyed. Exploded into a million, million pieces.
They didn't know why throwing the crystal into the wormhole was the solution, only that it had been screamed at them from the crystal, like it had a mind, a soul of its own. The only thing they knew right now was that they were glad it was gone, and that burning, boiling pain on their palm could no longer tell them what to do.
It didn't stop the phantom pains, the ones you get when you lose a limb, or maybe when you cut your hair short after being long for years.
But… it was gone.
And that's all that mattered.
The universe was no longer collapsing. Mark was okay. The crew was okay. The colony was okay. Thriving, even.
Thriving, even as they stood on the balcony of their tower, one of the first things built when they had arrived at their new home roughly six months ago. They didn't deserve it, not by a long shot, but it doubled as an office building, so they didn't complain too much. Who would want someone like them living close to them?
Ring ring! "Delivery for our wonderful Captain!"
Him.
The Captain heard the door to the room shut and the shuffle of setting stuff down. The jingle of keys and the plastic crinkle of reusable bags before the thump thump thump of excited footsteps before Mark's cheery face appeared through the doorway.
"Hey, Captain!" The Captain bit back a flinch. Those words so familiar yet spoken in such a soft manner, not laced with hatred -
"Hey, Captain-"
Mark held a box in his hands, a bright smile taking over his face, "I got you a present."
An extinguisher to the face-
They signed, "It's not another coffee, is it?"
Mark snorted and shook his head, "No, not this time. It's a package from Earth."
The Captain grasped the box from the bottom and tugged it from Mark's grasp. He stepped back and scratched his neck, "The other stuff from Earth is just supplies and boring stuff. When I was checking everything over, I found this box. Figured I should hand deliver this to you.” Mark shuffled. "Sorry I couldn't get that one shipment in with this batch. I missed the deadline, and unfortunately, they don't make exceptions, even for you."
The Captain shrugged. They couldn't complain much. Mark had been working his ass off for this colony since they arrived. One missing shipment wouldn't be the end of the universe - even if it was annoying they'd have to wait a month to start building that water filtration system.
As the Captain walked to their desk, Mark rambled about today's issues: some maintenance in the residential sector - apparently the generators have been on the frits the past couple of days - updates on the water filtration system - rations have been running low - and a few other small projects that Mark had been working on - he keeps talking about fixing something, but he won’t elaborate on what. The Captain didn’t question what Mark was saying, just focused on the contents of the box.
“And Celci is finally acknowledging that my ideas are actually good!”
“Sometimes.”
“Okay, maybe not all of my ideas are good…” Mark lingered, like he was preparing to add on to what he was saying. He pursed his lips and didn’t.
The Captain put down the box and turned to face him. His gaze found something on their bed, so they followed it until they found-
Sketchbook. For nightmares. The warp core.
A surge ran through their body. Their fingers twitched. Before they could give it much thought, the Captain snatched a notebook from their desk and tossed it on the sketchbook, hiding their sketch of the warp core from sight. Mark swung his head back to them and took a breath in. They turned their back to him and pulled a pair of scissors from a desk compartment.
“So, Captain…” A hand tugged at their sleeve as Mark rested a chin on their shoulder. “What’s in the package?”
The Captain squinted at Mark, trying to be unimpressed while their heart pounded through their chest. Hopefully Mark couldn’t feel how hard their blood thrummed through their veins, a steady thump thump thump in their neck, their wrists.
The warp core, the warp core, the warp core-
The Captain shuffled their feet and tore off the packing tape. They handed the scraps to Mark, who made every effort to annoy them as he took the tape, curled his arms around their chest, and crinkled it, played with it like a toy. "Open it already. The suspense is killing me."
They rolled their eyes and opened the box. Packing peanuts. Who uses these anymore?
Mark dropped the tape in the trash and stared at the peanuts, taking one between his fingers. Probably thinking the same thing.
The Captain dug their hand into the peanuts and pulled out the first thing their fingers brushed. Out came a figurine, a collectible of one of the most popular ship captains on Earth.
"Whoa, Captain…" Mark's eyes lit up at the figure. He enveloped their hands with his own and brushed a thumb over the edge of the figure. "Wasn't this in your office on the moon base?"
It was.
The Captain nodded and placed the figurine on a shelf before digging out the other contents of the box. Everything from their office on the moon base was inside the box. From documents to decorations, most of it was in here. The Captain hadn't realized they left so much. But, then again, they had left in such a hurry when Mark invited them to be the Captain of the Invincible II. It was inevitable they would have left something.
When everything was out of the box, the Captain began organizing.
Mark took the box from where the Captain had left it and dug through.
Mark pulled out a thin square from the box. He hummed curiously. Unwrapping the foam around the square revealed a picture frame. His eyes swept over the display then softened.
"I remember this day…" Mark whispered, his voice warm.
The Captain pulled away from the figurines and turned to Mark. They tilted their head, eyes on the frame he was holding.
"You remember space camp, Captain?" Mark said, handing the frame to them.
How could I forget? The Captain took a firm grasp of the frame with both hands as they mentally prepared themselves for what they were about to see. Space camp. Not something they wanted to be reminded of so soon. The whole wormhole business… well, it soured a lot of good memories, as much as the Captain hated to admit. So many good times flushed away down a teal, gray tunnel and a bright blue burn in their palm.
The crystal burned again-
No. They tightened their grip. No, nothing's there. Nothing's there. God dammit, nothing's there-
Mark's smile was the first face they saw in the picture. Alongside themself, Burt, Celci, Gunther, and other crew members that had managed to find their way onto the Invincible II. This had been many years ago, as they stood on the primary space station of the moon, in front of a window where the Earth and their spaceship lay beyond. They had likely just left Earth from their camp in the woods. Each of them smiling bright with naive wonder as each of their dreams were being fulfilled.
The Captain rubbed their thumb over themself and Mark, posed together. A young Mark. Rounder features in a baby face he hadn't quite grown out of all those years ago. Around their late teens, early twenties.
A sharp tightening at the thought. For Mark, this surely felt like yesterday. In some ways, maybe it did for the Captain, but the life they had before the warp core was an eternity ago. An eternity, hundreds of lifetimes and more, memories mashing together and forming blanks where there should've been a childhood, teenage years, college.
The human brain wasn't meant to hold so much information. When it has too much, it throws away what it deems unimportant.
The Captain wondered how much they hadn't realized they lost.
That thought terrified them.
The idea that so many important memories, all their good times, the people they knew and loved had all been removed without their consent. All because of the damn warp core.
"Captain?"
They blinked. A brief glance at their holopad told them they had been staring for a few moments too long, lost in thought.
"I'm fine." They signed.
"Captain."
"Mark-" They turned to face Mark.
Nothing was there.
The Captain bit back their gasp, tightening their grasp on the frame. They threw their gaze around, finding nothing but the dark, quiet ship.
No…
No, no, no, no, no-
The Captain dropped the frame. They felt the broken glass under their feet, the cold of the metal floors of the Invincible II. A chill ran down their spine. Couldn't be cryo, the ship wasn't online.
No, no, I can't do this again, please, please, please-
They swung around and dashed down the hall away from cryo. The door to the bridge opened with a tug, and they faceplanted onto the cold metal floor of the bridge. They forced themself to their knees, throwing their gaze about the empty room.
“Mark!” They croaked, throat aching at the effort.
The window was intact, revealing a dark universe with millions of specks. No planet.
No planet.
The Captain's chest seized.
No, no, no, please-
The Captain shoved themself to their feet and stumbled to the glass. Their bare feet ached with each step. They were bleeding, tracking blood across the silver gray floor. But that didn't phase them. Blood didn't phase them. Their hands fumbled as they stretched to reach it, like it was farther than they had expected it to be. Which was impossible, they had spent hundreds of years on this ship. They could navigate this ship with their eyes closed. Every nook, every cranny, every bit of the ship burned into the back of their eyelids. It was impossible that they could've missed the window.
They reached again and pressed their palms to the window. No planets. Not their planet. Not the beautiful blue hues, the pink undertone of their planet's surface. Not even the two moons that orbited it in all its delightful nights.
It was gone. And it left behind a dark, empty universe in its wake. No nearby planets to help, an endless, vast void.
No, no, no, our home, we worked so hard-
"Ma- ark!"
They forced their voice to work. Maybe if they tried hard enough, he'd appear. Maybe if they tried hard enough, they'd deserve his presence.
The Captain bit back their flinch as cracks flashed behind their eyelids. The endless void of space in front of them wasn't cracked.
Or, hopefully it was. They'd deserve that ending once more. Maybe a million times more, to be sucked into the crushing vacuum and float for eternity.
Mark.
The Captain swung to his cryo pod, tucked calmly in the corner of the room. It lit with a dim white glow. They rushed to his pod, and pressed their hand to the touchpad.
"No occupants."
The Captain's heart sank.
Mark wasn't here.
No.
Please, no, no, I can't do this alone again, please, please, please -
The Captain fell to their knees. The thin pajama bottoms dug into the textured floor. They pressed their forehead to the cool glass. The air around them seemed to only get colder as they curled into a ball at the base of Mark's chamber as they had done so many times before. Begging for them to be smacked by the opening pod and for Mark to greet them with his warm smile, accompanied by a small quip about their strangeness.
"I know, you couldn't wait for me to leave. I get that a lot. You could say I'm popular."
The Captain snorted and elbowed him. They signed, "Sure. You and your one friend."
Mark gasped and placed a hand over his chest. "Rude! And they say the silent types are usually nice!"
The Captain sniffed, wiping their nose and biting back the tears building. Their throat tightened.
Not again. Please, we've gotten so far this time.
Their nails dug into the glass coffin.
“Hey, Captain.”
The Captain caught their breath on their tongue. They swung to face him. Seeing his face brought instant comfort.
"Mark!" They signed, scrambling to their feet. They rushed over to him, grabbing him by the arms and forced out something akin to a laugh. It didn't meet their eyes, not by a long shot, but it hardly mattered. He was here, in front of them, and they couldn't be more relieved. They squeezed his shoulders as he stared down at them, motioning for a hug, a greeting, something. But the engineer didn't move.
The Captain bit their tongue. He was just staring. They took a step back to sign, "Mark?"
Nothing. He kept staring at them.
"Mark?" They tapped his elbow. "Hey, what's going on?"
Once again, nothing. No emotes, no change in expression or posture. He stood perfectly still, his gaze empty and aimed directly behind them. Standing next to him felt like the eeriness of a mannequin in their peripherals. No life radiated from him. The Captain's hands grew clammy as they gave him another tap. They flickered their gaze over him.
"Mark, this isn't funny." The Captain seized his hand. Cold as ice. "Mark."
Both hands now. Both like clenching snow. They let a shaky breath escape them before snatching both of his shoulders and giving them a firm shake. He moved only with their force, and returned to his still position. They took his face between their palms and tugged it until their eyes met. His stubble tickled their fingers in their retreat.
"Mark!"
Mark. Mark, please. Mark, please, please, please, I can't do this again-
"Captain…"
Captain breathed a sigh. They met his gaze.
One full of hatred.
"Do you understand what you've done?"
The Captain froze. But Mark didn't.
"You've taken so many lives in your desperation."
His voice didn't break a deep monotone, accompanied by his lowered brows, deep scowl. His shoulders rose and head lowered. His jawline flexed as his teeth gritted. They took a step away.
"Mark-"
"Don't interrupt me."
The Captain bit down on their cheek. Pathetic, their brain screamed at them. Their heart thrummed against their chest. But, before they could argue, Mark took their shoulder.
"It's astonishing really," Mark's other hand placed itself firmly against the Captain's other arm. His first hand glided up until it cupped the base of their neck, thumb on their collarbone. The other hand drifted down their arm, taking their left hand. The Captain shivered as he squeezed. "How did you manage to do this?"
Mark turned their wrist around. A bright blue glow emanated from it. They squeezed a breath out their lungs. Their body tingled as the stone whispered. Kept whispering about things they couldn't decipher. It was speaking to them.
Thump thump thump.
The Captain slammed into the wall. Their body protests, screaming out as the taste of iron filled their mouth. They blinked wildly.
The warp core room. Mark's angry face.
"Mark!" They gasped out.
"All of this is due to your incompetence."
They pushed against him, barely noting the blood staining their fingers, dripping from their hands and staining Mark's jumpsuit. Their face throbbed as they tried to speak. No words came out. They couldn't find them over the pressure of Mark's hand over their throat. They scratched at his wrists, thrashing their body around, but the weakness from the missing warp crystal weighed them down. The deadly silence pushed through over the sounds of fighting.
The Captain caught their leg around Mark's knee and swept under, throwing their weight off the wall. They collapsed together.
Their head hit the floor.
The Captain paused, taking in the lack of light from their surroundings. The warp core room was usually lit up in bright blinding lights, uncomfortable to stand under or near. They blinked. The room was dim, light coming from somewhere above them. The Captain inhaled and scanned their environment.
They were in their apartment.
A nightmare.
That's all that was. Just some stupid nightmare that haunted them.
They leaned back against a firm, warm surface.
Another nightmare. This wasn't the first nightmare they've had since the… incident, and they knew it certainly wasn't the last. As much as they wanted it to.
I should sketch it.
It took the Captain far too long to realize that there was a pair of arms around them.
The Captain blinked, peering down at the arms curled around them, holding them so carefully. Their head rested on a chest, breathing in and out at a regulated pace, their great beating wildly in its bony prison.
“Hey, Captain…”
Their chest tightened.
Mark.
“You okay?” His nose scrunched. “Well, maybe not okay, but- uh, better? Yeah. Are you better?”
Better?
The Captain nodded.
I don’t know if I’ll ever get better.
Mark let something akin to a sigh of relief escape him. It didn’t sound too much like relief, but just enough to keep it from muddling with anything else distinguishable. "I'm glad," He lowered a hand to the floor. His fingers brushed something. A book. Their sketchbook. "Have you been having a lot of nightmares, Captain?"
They chose not to answer.
"You had a dream sketchbook in college. I remember waking up some nights and you had fallen asleep with a pencil in hand. You had such vivid nightmares sometimes… they usually kicked up about midterms and finals," Mark brushed the corner of the sketchbook. The page it opened to was their small sketches of the warp core, the warp crystal, all surrounding a sketch of Mark in the wormhole. "I… never meant to pry. I've been worried about you. This colony needs your help, yes, but you need your rest."
The Captain closed the sketchbook and pushed it under the bed.
"Captain…"
They pulled away from his chest and twisted until they were facing him. "Mark?"
Mark stared at them. "Hey, Captain…"
Mark reached over his head and grabbed the box of packing peanuts. He dug a hand into the box, retrieving a handful of the pink peanuts. They tilted their head with curiosity. Mark moved his gaze from his hand, to them, then back to the peanuts, to them. Repeating once or twice more, before grinning ear to ear.
"Mark."
He lifted the hand full of peanuts.
"Mark!"
"Give me a reason."
"Mark! No, no, Mark!" The Captain tried pushing away, only succeeding in tangling themself in the blanket they hadn't realized curled around their body. "Mark! They're gonna get everywhere- Mark!"
"Doesn't seem like my problem."
"Mark!"
Mark's hand went into motion.
A wave of packing peanuts flew in the Captain's direction. They threw their hands up to protect their face. The packing peanuts crashed into them, attaching to their pajamas and flying across the room behind them. They blinked, staring at the Engineer who was stifling a laugh, lips tightly pursed. They blinked again, plucked a peanut from their shirt, and titled their head at him. They took a deep inhale, then let it out slowly.
“Mark.”
He paused, “Uh… you’re not mad, right? I… uh, wasn’t, I wasn’t thinking you’d be mad. You aren’t mad?”
The Captain leaned forward, resting on their knees and drew close to Mark. He bit his lip. They hummed, letting the sound echo between them.
"Sorry, I should've-!"
A flurry of packing peanuts flew into Mark's face. He sat stunned.
The two stared at one another. Counting the seconds.
One, two, five, ten.
Then Mark grinned. He lunged for the box. The Captain scraped what peanuts they could from the floor and hid behind their bed.
A handful of packing peanuts flew over the bed.
The Captain bit down a squeak and slid under the bed, watching Mark's feet quickly round the bed to where they were. He made a confused gasp. They pushed from under the bed, snatching the box of peanuts and digging their hand into it. Mark dropped to one knee.
The Captain leapt up, flinging peanuts at the vulnerable engineer. He squeaked, ducking beneath the edge of the bed. They lurched forward, only to be snatched by the ankle. They yelped as their foot was yanked from underneath them and they hit the floor. The box they held in their hands tumbled elsewhere, somehow still with most of its contents intact. Mark struggled to free himself from the bed.
That moment, the Captain swept as many packing peanuts as they could. Mark freed himself and leapt atop the Captain. They managed to fling a handful of peanuts at his chest before he grabbed their wrists and pinned them to the floor.
A gasp escaped them as Mark hovered, his dark hair draping over his face. He took small breaths, his gaze flickering over the Captain's face as they froze together.
"Captain…" He muttered.
Oh, your mistake.
The Captain hooked their leg around Mark's thigh and drove their weight against it. The force knocked his balance. His grip on them loosened. They slipped a hand away and shoved his face. He recoiled. The Captain pushed themself away and reached for the box.
A hand snatched their ankle again and tugged them from the box. Mark lunged for the box. The Captain shoved him off course and made another attempt for it.
"Captain!"
They froze.
Mark launched the box of peanuts into the air, all its contents spilling like a tsunami over the Captain’s form.
Mark was laughing, but the Captain couldn’t force their body to move. The panic from before had come back with a vengeance and they willed it to go away. But no matter what they did, the tightness in their chest wouldn’t leave, and neither would the shivering in their hands. They hid their hands between their thighs as if the pressure would somehow relief their panic.
Mark with a pillow-
Mark with an extinguisher-
Mark, Mark, Mark at the warp core-
When he finally came down from his laughter, Mark's focus fell on the Captain.
Mark's expression dropped, like his hand from his hair. He kneeled in front of them, "Captain?"
They said nothing.
Mark sighed, running a hand through his hair and flickering his gaze between them and the bed. He plucked the packing peanuts from their form, careful to keep his hands where they could see them. The Captain watched him cautiously, willing their hands to loosen their grip on their arms. They only did so after Mark pried them away and took their hands into his own. "C'm here, Cap'n."
A pair of arms curled around them, one under their knees and the other around their torso, and lifted them from the floor. From the floor, Mark carried them to the bed. He lifted the covers and tucked them underneath.
As he pulled away, the Captain grasped his arm.
"Stay?"
Mark blinked. His gaze lowered to the hand on his arm. He nodded and curled under the blanket with them.
Together they laid together, too close but yet somehow not close enough. Mark’s arm twitched like he was going to move it but decided against it. It happened once, twice, before he inhaled, rolled over, and curled an arm around the Captain. They readily embraced his embrace, hiding against him as their heart slammed against their chest. Mark’s other hand cupped their face.
Mark's eyes wandered over their face, lips pressed into a tight line. His eyes may have been on their face, but he wasn't seeing them. Not now. Maybe some moment before, or a them from a nightmare he had. Mark had a lot of those, more than he admitted. The Captain knew that look, one they often wore in the mirror. An expression bearing dark sunken eyes, wrinkles on a face that should've been smooth, skin a shade paler than what should've been.
"'m sorry, Captain."
The Captain's chest ached.
Mark's thumb brushed over their nose. They fought a flinch as memories of that very hand breaking it flickered in their mind.
"I love you."
The Captain couldn't help the small smile on their face.
"Love you too."
Mark's expression softened.
"I care about you more than I can say in words. It's been a rough couple of months. We've made a lot of progress. But I meant what I said before." He took their hand in his and pressed it to his chest, over his heart. "You need to rest. And… hah, maybe so do I. I know it can be hard, but… please try. For the colony. For… me?"
He held out his other hand, held it near their heart. Waiting for them.
The Captain intertwined their fingers together and pressed his hand to their heart.
They couldn't sign because both of their hands were occupied, but they hoped that Mark could sense just how much they cared about him. This universe wasn't the same without him. Even when they had been turned into a punching bag, the Captain came back for Mark.
Although, with that, maybe it was best their hands were occupied.
Maybe they shouldn't be okay with Mark. With him being so close, touching them, holding them. Not when those same hands had been the ones to hurt them so badly. Maybe this was a bad idea; with recurring nightmares about that day - day? night? - in the warp room. They should've pushed him away the moment they reemerged in this universe.
But… they couldn't.
Not when he looked at them with those big round eyes, holding untold levels of affection towards them. Undeserved affection, but they couldn't convince themself to push it away.
"Can you… try? To rest?" Mark said with those puppy dog eyes.
The Captain sighed. Then nodded.
How can I rest when every time I close my eyes all I see are the deaths of my crew? A pillow over my face? His hands…?
The Captain wanted to speak. Tell him everything they remembered, even if they sounded like a mad person.
But they just couldn't gather the strength to speak.
It took too much effort, and they didn't deserve to be able to talk about it.
So…
They didn't.
"Bark!"
Mark gasped, "Chica!"
The doggie door on the wall slid open to make way for a golden dog. The Captain's heart melted when she sprinted for the bed, and leapt onto the mattress without a care in the world. Chica flopped over the two and curled into their side, head resting on their chest.
Mark followed, laying down on the Captain's opposite side, resting his head on their chest, and petting Chica.
The Captain wrapped their arms around both, running their fingers through fur and hair alike. Their attack a moment ago felt like hours but seconds. But Mark was always the perfect distraction.
Even with the constant nightmares, they could live every day like this if only they knew that Mark would be here. That he would throw packing peanuts at them if they needed a laugh, or just be there when they needed comfort. Even after everything they had gone through, whether he remembered or not, they found comfort in him, and he found comfort in them. That even after he built the warp core, they still trusted him more than anyone else.
Maybe things were starting to look up.
They had to believe that.
This is starting to work out.
"So… I'm just gonna assume you want me to clean this up."
"Yep."
"I'll do it in the morning," Mark said, burying his face into their chest.
The Captain eased into the cuddle. Their tablet went off from the desk, but they ignored it. They didn't have the urge to run over and answer the call, not with Mark curled like the golden retriever boy he was. Chica woofed before closing her eyes and snoring loudly. Mark's breaths slowed. The Captain dropped the weight of their head against their pillow.
Yeah.
Yeah, things are getting better.