Work Text:
“He’s mad at me,” Yuuta announces.
“He’s Toge,” Maki argues. “He gets like this sometimes,” she assures him. “Pouty. Don’t worry about it.”
Telling Yuuta not to worry is like telling a fish not to swim. Worry is wired into his brain, more written into his muscle memory than any movement ever could be. He’s always worried, and if Toge isn’t smiling, then he might actually be a step past worried. Distraught. That’s the word that comes to mind.
“I really thought I was doing something nice,” Yuuta continues, knowing full well that he’s whining at this point. It’s not like there’s anything Maki can do about all this.
When they picked a restaurant to celebrate the start of their holiday break at, Yuuta was thrilled. Ever since he got to school, there’s always been a standard practice for what happens when a bill comes after a meal. Toge, the highest ranked sorcerer in their grade, always throws down his credit card. Maki and Panda informed Yuuta that he couldn't argue with it. It’s just something Toge likes to do, and since he makes more than the rest of them, they let him do it.
Well. Two weeks ago, Yuuta was reinstated as special grade. He recently received his first (disgustingly zeroed) paycheck, and the first thing he thought was, I can pay Toge back now.
It seemed perfectly straightforward to Yuuta. They’d all go out, and he’d pay for everyone’s meal before Toge could offer. It was only fair that he paid Toge back in some way or another for all his generosity over the past few months. He’s been looking forward to this opportunity all week, certain that it would go over easily. His friends would be pleasantly surprised, tease him about his new ranking, and everyone would move on with their days.
It didn’t happen that way at all.
Nothing could have prepared Yuuta for the way Toge’s face dropped when he realized that Yuuta had given the waitress his card in advance. The moment has been replaying in Yuuta’s brain like a jumpscare from a horror flick ever since, the mortification still as fresh in his mind now as it was at the time. Toge covered it up quickly, retreating into his scarf to hide his wounded expression, but it made no difference. Yuuta had already seen the hurt on his face. He knew instantly that he’d made a terrible, terrible mistake- and Toge hasn’t said a single word to anyone since.
“It’s just,” Yuuta babbles on, “He shouldn’t have to pay for us all the time. Someone should treat him every once in a while. He deserves it.”
Maki sighs, eyes not leaving Toge’s back. He’s been walking about ten steps ahead of them since they left the restaurant. He’s made himself unreachable in all aspects.
“I’m sure he knows you meant well,” she offers. “Honestly, I didn’t like it at first either when he started paying for things, but he was so insistent.”
Her voice is uncharacteristically tender as she talks about him, her prickly nature smoothing over in an instant.
“I think… we all need to find a way to make what we do meaningful,” she continues carefully. “Sorcery is a thankless job. And if you don’t find a way to make it more bearable, there’s no point to it. And for Toge, meaningful looks like being able to use his salary to take his friends out to lunch every once in a while. Once I started looking at it that way, I couldn’t bring myself to tell him no. I couldn’t take that away from him.”
Guilt drops into Yuuta’s stomach like an anchor. He hates to think he’s taken something from Toge. That’s the last thing he’d ever want to do.
“Like I said,” Maki assures, “You shouldn’t worry about it. He just needs a little space. By the time we get back to the dorm, he’ll have forgotten this ever happened.”
Yuuta supposes that she’s right. He’s learned that getting to be with his friends nearly twenty-four hours a day comes with its own set of drawbacks. It’s amazing to be surrounded with people he cares about all the time, but it means seeing every side of them- both their best and worst.
After the wear and tear of a mission, Panda becomes completely unaware of his size and liable to crush anyone in his immediate vicinity. If Maki goes too long without a meal, she goes from snarky to downright mean. Even if she hurts your feelings, she won’t be at all apologetic about it until after she’s had a few bites to eat. Yuuta knows for a fact that he’s prone to spells of gloominess, especially when his insomnia is acting up. His family has been telling him so for years.
But Toge… Toge has always seemed to be without flaws. He’s always in a good mood. He’s the one who drags everyone out of their respective funks. Yuuta always thought there was nothing that could bring him down. Maybe this- being pouty, as Maki suggested- was just his one thing. The more Yuuta thinks about it, the more he thinks Toge is entitled to that. He’s allowed to be upset every once in a while when things don’t go his way. Yuuta will just have to learn to navigate that, the same way he did for his other friends. For Toge, he can do that. Of course he can.
Maki was wrong about one thing, though. Toge doesn’t forget about what happened at the restaurant. And he doesn’t say a word to anyone for the rest of the night.
Even though yesterday was technically their last day of classes, Yuuta is being dragged in for a one-on-one with Gojo. Apparently, he hasn’t been filing mission reports to the council’s liking, and Gojo is really the only one qualified enough to explain to him what he should be doing differently.
Neither of them seem particularly interested in actually getting anything accomplished though, Gojo especially, so Yuuta takes the opportunity to talk to Gojo about what’s really on his mind instead.
“Hey,” Yuuta interrupts. “Can I ask a question about payscale?”
Gojo’s face turns skeptical real fast. “You just made special grade again. Now really isn’t the time to be negotiating, kid.”
“What?” Yuuta stammers. “It’s nothing like that! I promise!”
Gojo laughs up a storm. He’d only been teasing.
“What is it you want to know?”
Yuuta stops and considers his phrasing carefully. He doesn’t want to make it too obvious that he’s asking about Toge specifically. Last night though, when he was sitting around feeling guilty about taking the wind out of Toge’s sail, he suddenly remembered the day they all went Christmas shopping together. Yuuta had only purchased some candy and a notebook set to send home for his sister, but Toge spent a lot of money. Like a lot of money. He got everyone they know an extravagant gift.
“How different is the pay between each grade?” Yuuta asks. “Like, do similar grades make similar amounts?”
“You know I can’t tell you that, Yuuta.”
Of course he can’t. Yuuta was stupid to ask. As he opens his mouth to apologize, Gojo drops a file onto the ground and a single piece of paper starts drifting towards him.
“Well, I can’t tell you, but if I dropped some of my paperwork on my way out this morning, and my humble protege happened to read some of it while tidying it up for me… now that wouldn’t be against the rules, would it?”
Yuuta blinks, slowly catching his drift.
“I think that sounds perfectly legitimate,” Yuuta says evenly. He usually hates to break the rules, but when Gojo claims a rule is arbitrary, he’s usually right. There’s no real reason for Yuuta to not know this information. He’s certainly not going to use it for anything nefarious. He’s just curious. If he and Toge are making similar amounts, Yuuta can put this out of his mind for good.
“Well that’s enough for today!” Gojo says cheerily, clearly glad to finally have an out. “Happy Christmas, Yuuta.”
It doesn’t take long for Yuuta to find what he’s looking for once Gojo has teleported away. There’s a paper detailing all of the salaries, including the living expense deductions for students that live on campus.
Yuuta’s heart sinks when he reads it.
Toge isn’t just making less than he is, he’s barely making any more than Panda or Maki are. In fact, he’s barely making anything at all.
When Yuuta returns to the dorm, everyone else is finally awake. The kitchen and the common room are littered with his friends, all still wearing their pajamas. There’s only one person absent, and as if on cue, he bursts through the door, scarf unfurled and still swinging from the wind.
Stupidly, the first thing Yuuta notices about him is that he’s smiling. The massive grin spreading on Toge's cheeks sends a flush of relief through Yuuta. He was so distant and stiff after yesterday’s events last night. It looks like he’s finally back to his old self.
The second thing Yuuta notices is the giant cardboard box in his hands. There’s a big sticker on the side. Overnight Shipping. Yuuta fights a cringe. Toge must have ordered that last night when they got home. He’s not feeling better because he’s starting fresh on a new day, he feels better because he’s found a way to correct what happened yesterday.
Toge holds the box up high over his head, gathering everyone’s attention with a cheerful exclamation.
“Shake!” Merry Christmas!
He’s swarmed instantly. Someone tears back the tape and the folds on the cardboard box, revealing a brand new set of controllers for Hakari’s gaming console and what must be at least fifteen different games. Everyone cheers. Yuuta’s heart sinks.
All of this is worth five times what Yuuta spent on lunch yesterday.
This is his fault. Undeniably so. If he’d just let Toge pay for lunch yesterday, none of this would have happened.
Yuuta tries to remind himself that this isn’t his business. Toge is allowed to do as he pleases with his hard earned wages. We all need to find a way to make what we do meaningful, Maki had described it. Yuuta would never interfere with Toge’s happiness like that. So why does he feel so uneasy? Toge is being undeniably reckless here. This isn’t like him.
Maki and Hakari are already challenging one another to a brawl, and without much argument, Kirara and Panda have grabbed hold of controllers three and four. They’re all settling in front of the TV as Toge hangs back, watching with pride as his gift takes flight.
He, like Yuuta, would rather be a spectator. That’s how the two of them had gotten close in the first place- they both had a tendency to hug the wall, allowing things to happen in front of them instead of actively participating. They’d fallen into an easy rhythm of staying on the fringes of things together. Hanging out with Toge was a lot easier than trying to keep up with their rowdy friends, anyway. Yuuta had come to really look forward to spending that time together.
But today, Toge keeps his distance. His back is turned to Yuuta. To anyone else, it would just seem like he’s really interested in the mini-game that their friends are contesting together, but Yuuta knows better. Body language is everything with Toge, and the distance between them is loaded. The way he’s crossed his arms over his chest carries meaning. He’s still closed off, wary of Yuuta after yesterday’s events.
There’s no need for him to be. Yuuta’s intentions are the same as they’ve always been. In one way or another, all he does is strive to understand Toge. Today it just happens to be an understanding that goes beyond words and little gestures.
He wanders over to Toge’s side, rocking back on his heels as he works up the courage to speak.
“Let’s go for a walk,” he says in a low voice. He surprises himself by not asking.
Toge looks right over at him, his face doing that thing where it goes entirely blank in a moment of shock. He looks like a fresh sheet of notebook paper, uncreased and ready to be written over. Even then, there’s something expressive about it. His eyes go startlingly wide and his eyebrows tug up ever so slightly, and after a long, heart-lurching moment, he finally softens. To Yuuta’s immense relief, his eyes crinkle closed and he tosses his head to one side by way of a silent agreement.
Toge’s never been too interested in video games, anyway. Their friends are so invested in the screen that Yuuta doubts they even notice the two of them leave.
They don’t have to discuss their destination. Sorcerers are notoriously efficient people by nature. None of them can stomach walking for the sake of walking. They have to be going somewhere.
Somewhere is the same place it always is- a gas station about a mile from campus that houses a surprisingly well stocked convenience store. It’s their only option when the vending machines are bare and the campus cafeteria is serving something someone has deemed inedible, but even more than that, it’s where they go for fun. They’ll go and get ice cream on a hot day, or snacks before a movie night, or- like today- a warm drink to fight off the bitter cold.
“Hot chocolate?” Yuuta floats, staring up at an unforgiving and grayish sky. It’s absolutely frigid out today.
“Shake,” Toge confirms.
The two of them usually wind up getting the same thing whenever they go, or else they copy one of their friends. It’s a running joke between them- food always looks better when someone else is eating it. That’s what they tell themselves, anyway. Yuuta suspects there’s more to it. What they actually like is not doing something alone. Whatever the case, if it’s just the two of them heading out to the store, without fail they come back with either two of the same item or two things to share.
They make their drinks in easy silence. Toge flicks Yuuta a hazelnut flavored creamer from the coffee section and nods encouragingly at Yuuta’s hot chocolate before dumping one into his own. Yuuta has no idea if he likes hazelnut or not. He peels back the plastic and pours the milky substance in anyway.
Yuuta can feel the ice between them slowly starting to thaw, the distance of the last day or so finally melting away. Toge’s not thinking about yesterday anymore. Everything is back to normal.
Which is why Yuuta really hates himself for what he’s about to do.
They put their hot chocolates on the counter at the exact same second, and then- with a speed he shouldn’t have- Yuuta holds out his card. He was fiddling with the wallet in his coat pocket on their walk over, making sure it would be ready for this moment.
Even without looking over, Yuuta can feel every muscle in Toge’s body tense up. He scrambles to get his own wallet out, but Yuuta reaches out and catches his wrist. He holds it firmly in place as the unwitting cashier slowly processes their order, Toge’s muscles going rigid beneath his touch. He’s furious. Yuuta can feel it.
Cursed energy is a strange thing. Sometimes, it feels like an extra language that only he and Toge speak. Panda doesn’t feel emotions the same way as the rest of them do, and Maki’s energy is so sparse that it can’t act in accordance with hers. It’s different for Toge and Yuuta. The slightest shift in emotions can cause a flare. The others don’t notice it quite as keenly as the two of them do- they haven’t experienced it firsthand.
Admittedly, Yuuta is the more unsteady between them. Despite how far he’s come in the past few months, he still doesn’t have a mastery of his cursed energy. When he feels something big, good or bad, he just can’t control it. It’s out of hand in an instant, and Toge’s eyes are right there, on him and knowing.
Yuuta has to pay much closer attention to understand Toge’s outbursts. Yuuta will feel the tickle of cursed energy nip at his skin, but he’ll look over and find Toge’s face perfectly serene.
One way or the other, he’s always been better at hiding his emotions. His cursed energy is already more concentrated in his vocal tract than anywhere else, so it’s rare for it to come to the surface in a meaningful way. Only when Yuuta is really listening closely can he detect the subtleties.
Right now, it takes no effort at all. Toge is a storm.
Cursed energy is leaking out of him from every direction, clouding around his body. Yuuta swears even the cashier can feel it. He looks up at them absentmindedly, his head tilting to Toge with worry between each motion. When Yuuta finally peeks over, Toge’s face is twisted with frustration and his eyes are watery.
By the time the cashier reads off the final total one last time, it’s finally gotten to be too much. Toge snatches his hand free and storms out of the store, leaving a warm trail of cursed energy in his wake as the metal door swings shut behind him. Yuuta watches the blood drain out of the cashier’s face as he pales with alarm.
“Sorry,” Yuuta tells him earnestly, collecting his card and both of their hot chocolates. He really didn’t mean to cause any trouble. “Thank you so much.”
The truth is, Yuuta knew what he was doing when he pulled his card out. He knew it would get a reaction out of Toge, and that’s why he did it. They need to have a conversation about this. Maybe Maki was content with Toge’s excuse of wanting to treat his friends every once in a while, but Yuuta isn’t. Something else is going on here.
Toge waits for him across the street, huddled under a bus stop shelter and absolutely fuming. There’s a deep look of focus on his face as Yuuta feels his cursed energy start to constrict back within him again, but the emotion is still as clear in his face and body language as ever.
Yuuta ambles across the street slowly, waiting for the cars to pass and trying hard to give Toge as much recovery time as possible. He’s so pissed at Yuuta. Yuuta probably deserves it, but that doesn’t make the feeling of it any better.
He won’t even look up when Yuuta finally reaches him. Yuuta holds out the extra hot chocolate to him, but he refuses to take it. Yuuta has sort of lost his taste for it as well, but he goes ahead and takes a mindless sip anyway. It burns his tongue and leaves a warm, earthy taste in his mouth afterwards. Hazelnut. Toge was right. He does like it.
Yuuta feels the urge to apologize, but he swallows it down. It’s better if he lets Toge speak first. If Yuuta starts talking, he’ll just start babbling like he always does and Toge will tuck his silence carefully behind it. Right now, all Yuuta really wants is to hear is what’s on Toge’s mind.
“Mentaiko,” he mutters sharply, more bitter than the cold. It’s not what he says, but how he says it that leads Yuuta to its meaning.
Why would you do that?
“I can’t buy my best friend a hot cocoa at Christmastime?” Yuuta jokes quietly, trying to ease the tension.
Toge answers him with a cutting glare. That’s not what he was getting at and they both know it. Yesterday, Yuuta did something to upset Toge, and right when things were starting to seem okay between them, he willingly did it again. Toge must think he’s such an asshole. Maybe he really is an asshole, when you look at it that way. Yuuta sighs, laying down the offending cups on the bus bench so they can talk.
“It’s not about the hot chocolate,” he admits. “Look, I know it’s not my business, but I have to ask. Why are you blowing through all your wages?”
It’s not the most delicate way of asking, but Yuuta doesn’t think it benefits anyone to beat around the bush at a time like this. Toge staggers backwards, clearly caught off guard by the allegation. He makes a little huffy noise, clearly meant to be a denial.
“Toge, I know,” Yuuta clarifies. “You’re spending as much as you’re making, if not more. Maybe I don’t know a lot about this stuff, but shouldn’t you be saving at least some of what you’re earning from sorcery?”
Toge blinks at him, completely mystified. He shakes his head defensively. As much as Yuuta would like to apologize and bow out of this conversation so the two of them can get back to being friends again, he can’t quite bring himself to do it. It’s just as he feared- he started talking and now he can’t get himself to shut up.
“You can get a nice apartment after you graduate. Or go to a fancy college. I don’t know. I just…” he thinks aloud. “I just think you should be thinking about your future.”
At that word, Toge flinches with his whole body, whipping away from Yuuta hastily. Yuuta watches his profile darken, eyes frantically darting around as he searches the area for an escape route. Yuuta has hit a nerve, and the second he realizes which one his body start to move. He catches Toge’s arm, acting brazenly before his mind can fully catch up.
“Toge,” he tries, breathless. “No.”
Yuuta doesn’t mean to sound harsh, really he doesn’t. It’s just that the wave of horror flushing through his bloodstream demands urgency. Toge’s eyes land guiltily on the ground, turning his cheek as far away from Yuuta’s gaze as possible. He knows that Yuuta has figured it out- the real reason that Toge hasn’t been saving his money.
He doesn’t think he’ll be around to spend it.
“Your future,” Yuuta repeats, heart beating furiously in his chest. “All the time you’ll have after you graduate.”
Toge pauses for a moment, letting Yuuta’s entire world screech to a stop as he goes. Still not looking up, he gives a slight, single shake of his head. No.
The pieces all start to fit together in Yuuta’s mind. Ever since Yuuta has known him, Toge has lived in quiet defiance. It ranges from the simple things that everyone seems to notice- the spiked up hair, the half-tied shoelaces, the harmless little pranks- to the quieter, more critical acts that no one else has caught on to quite yet. The way Toge covers his sigils at all times, except the second someone on the high-council is close by, forgoing all his timidness to look them dead in the eye as he pulls his scarf down. The way he throws himself into the center of a bad situation the second danger presents itself, demanding to take the brunt of it himself even when everyone begs him not to.
Yuuta thought he’d noticed all of Toge’s hidden quirks already, but all this time he's been missing the thread that had been connecting them all. It’s all one great act of rebellion wrapped neatly in a bow. He does the job he was born into, but lives life on his own terms. He allowed himself to be damned to a life of sorcery, but he spends every scrap of the wages he makes from it on frivolities. He accepts that this life will probably send him to an early grave, and he lets that inform all his choices.
Except Yuuta doesn’t accept that. He doesn’t accept a world without Toge. He certainly doesn’t accept that Toge is planning for a world without him.
“Is that what all this is about?” Yuuta asks tentatively, hoping to god that he’s wrong about all this. “You don’t think… You don’t think you’re going to…”
Yuuta can’t even bring himself to say it. Toge stands frozen in front of him, their arms still hanging taut. The only motion to him is a silent tear slowly pooling in his eyes. It’s just enough to confirm Yuuta’s worst suspicions.
“What the fuck, Toge?” Yuuta asks helplessly.
Now he’s crying too. He swipes a tear with the rough sleeve of his winter coat, scratching up his face and not even feeling it. Toge chokes out a little sob, shoulders slumping forward ever so slightly. Yuuta gets the sense that he’s never truly faced the realities of his live like you're dying mentality until this very moment. There’s no way that someone as sunny as Toge doesn’t find that philosophy to be anything other than unbelievably bleak.
Yuuta dares to take a step closer, and Toge allows it. He stays perfectly still as Yuuta reaches up and tugs at the tightly coiled scarf around his neck, revealing his whole face. He looks pale and miserable, lips quivering. He slowly looks up at Yuuta through thick lashes. It’s the first time they’ve really looked at one another all day.
“Only you,” Yuuta says lightly, “Could use generosity as a means of being reckless.”
Toge sniffs, temporarily distracted enough to let a wobbly smile slip onto his face.
“I don’t care about the money,” Yuuta assures him. “No one cares about the money. We don’t care about nice meals or fancy gifts or any of that stuff. We care about you, Toge.”
Toge blinks rapidly at him, searching his face.
“We care about you being here.”
The tears Toge has been holding on to finally come spilling down his face. Yuuta is glad that Toge is hearing him, but his heart siezes at the idea of this being new information to Toge.
“You have to stay alive,” Yuuta continues, speaking simply. “So we can keep going on missions together and having family dinners with our friends and so that one day after graduation we can move to Tokyo together and be roommates in some swanky downtown apartment.”
Toge’s tears just keep coming, and Yuuta is nowhere near done. He knows what it’s like to live without someone, and he will not claim that grief again without a fight.
“You have to stay alive for me because I’m selfish and I don’t want to live without you,” he presses on. “You have to stay alive for as long as you possibly can. You have to live longer than I do.”
Toge’s face scrunches up adorably, like a baby kitten being woken from a nap, as he reaches out to swat Yuuta’s arm.
“Okaka,” he demand. “Okaka.”
“Then make me a deal,” Yuuta offers, outstretching his hand. “We’ll both try to outlive one another. Neither of us dies. Ever. Not by the hand of any curse.”
Toge purses his lips, mulling that over for a moment. His eyes dance with curiosity, bright in the way Yuuta has always known them to be. It takes a moment, but he reaches out and takes Yuuta’s hand.
“Shake,” he agrees, grip firm.
They shake on it, and Yuuta feels a heady rush of relief. He never could have imagined how difficult this conversation would be, but he’s so glad they had it. Yuuta had sensed that something was wrong of course, but he had no idea just how wrong things were. The warped idea Toge had of thinking it didn’t matter if he lived or died… it’s unimaginable. Yuuta can only hope he’s gotten through to him.
Tentatively, Toge reaches down and retrieves his disposable cup. He makes direct eye contact with Yuuta as he tries his first sip, an honest smile spreading across his face. It feels like a peace offering. Toge isn’t just accepting something Yuuta bought for him, he’s actually enjoying it. It’s a small step, but it's in the right direction.
Yuuta grabs his own cup and the two of them head wordlessly back to campus. He feels remarkably light on his feet having finally shed all this conflict between them. He hates things bbeing off-kilter between them. At least now, Yuuta knows exactly what he has to do from now on. He has to keep reminding Toge of their promise. He won’t let Toge spend even one more moment thinking that his life isn’t valuable ever again.
“You know,” Yuuta proposes cheekily, hoping to eclipse the tension of their previous conversation with a joke. “I have fuck-you money now.”
Toge looks over at him, and even though he’s pulled his scarf back over his face, Yuuta can imagine the devilish smirk that spreads over his face with completeness. His eyebrow flicks up with great interest.
“So if there’s ever anything you want to purchase,” Yuuta continues, “Especially something loud that the council would deem inappropriate, we can make that happen. I, for one, think it would be pretty hilarious if we spent my special-grade money on something they’d disapprove of.”
At this, Toge absolutely lights up. He’s always been a fan of pranks- he’s got an imagination for them that the rest of them simply do not possess. In an instant, Yuuta can see those violet eyes swarming with possibilities.
Toge started smiling a few minutes ago, but now, Yuuta is smiling too. All is well with the world.
“One last thing,” Yuuta says, looking over at Toge. He knows full well he’s trying his luck here, but he has to make the attempt. “If you got me a gift this year, I want you to return it.”
Toge doesn’t even bother meeting his eyes, giving a gentle shake of his head and turning back to the road. He stares blankly ahead, almost as if he’s refusing to even acknowledge the sentiment. The words bounce right off him.
“I’m serious,” Yuuta tells him firmly. “There’s nothing I want. I’d rather spend time with you. That’s the only gift I want.”
Again, no response. Toge tugs on his scarf, lips parting as if he might say something, but nothing comes out besides a fogging of warm breath.
“I’ll even go return it myself,” Yuuta offers desperately. “I just I really don’t think you need to–”
“Yuuda.”
He points ahead, gaze still fixed towards the cloud-covered horizon. Yuuta, so stunned and delighted to hear his name again in Toge’s voice for a rare occasion, completely forgets what he was trying to say. He turns back to the sky, partly because Toge has asked him to and partly in an attempt to hide the warmth blooming under his cheeks. The reason for Toge's interruption becomes clear immediately.
It’s started to snow.
Toge reaches out and gives Yuuta’s shoulder a playful shove, grinning with excitement. Yuuta can only imagine what Toge sees when he looks at big flakes falling through the sky- snowball throwing and lopsided angel shapes and a soup recipe to warm them up when they finally come in from the cold. He’s making plans. Yuuta can practically see the gears working in his brain.
It’s strange. Yuuta rarely thinks that way himself. Since getting to Jujutsu Tech, he’s been clutching these perfect little moments he’s stumbled upon with both hands, still sure that his new life here could slip away from him at any moment. This is one of them- hot chocolate and spontaneous snowfall and Toge’s roguish smile, wrapped up in coats and just days before Christmas- but it’s only right he takes his own advice as well. He should plan for more moments like this. More moments with Toge, just like the two of them promised.
Lost in thought, Yuuta isn't even aware of Toge’s movements until he’s effortlessly slid his hand into Yuuta’s. Their palms meet, a little dot of warmth forming between them in the deep freeze.
Maybe he’ll enjoy this moment for just another second.