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“You know, Heat Miser’s not all that great.” Eric said aloud as he sat with his best friend in his parent’s basement watching the Holiday special of The Year Without a Santa Claus. “Yeah, sure he can eat fire and melt a shovel but a green Christmas? Come on! It’s all about Snow Miser. After all, it’s a white Christmas people are dreaming about.”
Seated in his usual spot in the underground room, Hyde glanced at the man on the aging sofa and then back at the TV screen, “Figures you’d like the skinny big nosed mama’s boy.”
“I…” Eric started to protest then suddenly changed his tone as his hand flew up to cover his nose, “Wait, you think my nose is big?”
Hyde smirked at his adopted brother but before he could say anything the basement’s side door was pushed open and in walked a familiar brunette in a vision of the colors associated with the major upcoming holiday. She had on an evergreen colored coat and the hem of her red dress stuck out from underneath like a Christmas tree’s skirt. In her hair was a matching red headband, gold dangling earrings hung from her ears and a smile brighter than a star on top of a tree was stretched onto her face.
“Guess what!” Jackie asked excitedly.
“You got into a fight with a Christmas tree.” Eric guessed, seeing more similarities between a Christmas tree and Jackie’s outfit, “And lost?”
Though she had already walked past him, she did turn her head back at him to send a glare his way, “No.” Her smile turned right side up as she looked at Steven and took her seat in his lap so she could share her happy news, “I took Betsy to see Santa Claus at the mall.”
“That’s great, Jackie.” Hyde said though his voice did sound like he thought the idea wasn’t all that great, he did have his reasons though. “But shouldn’t Kelso and Brooke’ve taken her? You know her parents?”
“Steven, I am Betsy’s Godmother.” Jackie was quick to remind as she always did when Betsy was brought into any type of conversation.
While Hyde thought being a Godparent was pretty cool, mostly because he and Jackie beat out Donna and Eric for the titles, Jackie was the one who took much pride in the name and spoiled the kid rotten. It made Hyde worry a bit over what she’d be like with their own future kids; still he never said anything and simply let her enjoy it.
“And as her Godmother I have just as much of a right to take Betsy to see Santa as Michael and Brooke do.” the raven haired beauty went on to say, “I have an important role in Betsy’s life. My title has the words ‘God’ and ‘Mother’ in it.”
“Which is kinda ironic with you know, you being Satan’s spawn and all.”
Jackie swung her head over to look at the old yellow sofa where the person who’d delivered the statement was seated, “Says the man with no title.”
That quickly quieted Eric from making any more comments and he kept his lips together while moving his attention back to the clay people on the TV screen. His actions caused Jackie to give a satisfied smile.
Meanwhile Hyde still shook his head, “I don’t know Jackie, I still think you should’ve let Brooke and Kelso do it.”
It wasn’t that Hyde didn’t want Jackie spending time with their Goddaughter, nor was it that he didn’t like the idea of her taking the little girl to see Santa Claus; but he could remember Kitty making a big deal about the yearly photos with Mall Santa, sometimes even bribing him to join in the picture with cookies and cocoa, so he figured this kind of thing was pretty important to parents.
“Michael and Brooke were there. We went together.” Jackie explained, “But once we got to the mall I was in charge of Betsy and Brooke had Kelso.”
Hyde smirked and couldn’t help himself, “Sounds like you got the better end of that deal.”
“I know.” she agreed with a smile and nod before going on to tell more details of the experience, “Steven, you should’ve seen Betsy, she was so cute and excited. She didn’t cry once. And we even got her to smile for the picture!”
The smirk on Hyde’s face was starting to form its way into a smile as he listened to Jackie’s accounts of the day. It sounded pretty nice but what really had him smiling was the excitement that Jackie seemed to be filled with as she continued on with her story.
“They had a little station at Santa’s workshop where the kids could write their letters to Santa, so Betsy and I wrote ours. She gave hers to Santa and I brought mine to give to Santa’s Little Helper.” Jackie said before pulling out from her coat pocket a white sheet paper folded into a rectangular shape and then handing it to Hyde, “Here you go.”
“Ha, you’re Santa’s Little Helper.” Mocked the peanut section from the couch.
“Get bent.” Hyde replied without missing a beat as he unfolded the paper Jackie gave him to find it had actually been two sheets of paper, “Jackie, this is two pages of stuff.”
“Actually, four.” She corrected and then flipped both papers over to show the other side, “I filled out the backs too.”
Hyde’s brow wrinkled closer and closer together as he stared at the swirly curly handwriting that wrote out what had to be over a hundred items! A new set of hot rollers, cashmere sweaters—sweaters not sweater, and a Tiffany’s diamond necklace?!
“I’m not getting you all this, Jackie.” Hyde said firmly, shaking his head again and folding the paper back up.
Surprisingly Jackie’s pout did not instantly appear and instead she moved her head up and down in almost an understanding manner, “I know. I listed all those things so that you would have options to choose from. I don’t expect you to get me everything on my list, Steven.”
Jackie’s calm and accepting behavior made Hyde suspicious. She couldn’t be giving up that easily; there had to be more to it, he was sure of it.
And he was right.
“Buutt if your rich daddy decides to give you a big holiday bonus you can just buy everything else on my list and not have to worry about figuring out what you should do with that extra money!”
Eric, who had been listening in on the conversation tilted his head to the side and smiled, “Always thinking of others aren’t you Jackie.”
When the pair didn’t return the smile with any real smiles or anything close to them, Eric suddenly felt uncomfortable and a bit fearful thanks to glares that were being sent his way. Without saying another word he got and kept his gaze downwards to avoid eye contact as he walked towards the wooden staircase hoping his mom had some fresh from the oven cookies waiting in the kitchen. Who was he kidding though, it was Christmas time which meant in The Forman house you would have a harder time finding food that wasn’t sugar filled than finding ones that were.
“Okay Steven, I gave you my Christmas list, now it’s your turn to give me yours.” Jackie told Hyde as soon as Eric was out of sight.
“Don’t have one.”
Jackie frowned lightly but didn’t stop, “Well what do you want me to get you for Christmas?”
“Don’t know.” he shrugged.
“Well what are you asking for, for Christmas?” she tried again, clearly getting frustrated.
“Nothing.” Hyde answered in his usual cool, low key tone, “Don’t really care what I get or don’t get, Jackie.”
“But Steven,” Jackie whined slightly, “It’s Christmas. Tis the season to be jolly not Zennie. What do you want for Christmas?”
Hyde was quickly getting tired of this question and knew if he wanted it to stop he was going to have to give a good answer. He let out a heavy breath before beginning, “Look Jackie, I’ve got nothing to ask for this year, alright? Business is good. I’ve still got the time to hang out with my friends. Red’s heart is better than it was last year. I’ve even got to see W.B. and Angie some more. And I’ve got you in my arms this year, Doll. I’ve got everything I need.”
“Aw Steven.” Cooed Jackie, placing her hand over her heart. The look on her face showed she was clearly touched but it quickly turned back into a frowning determined for an answer expression when she said, “That’s not how it works. I have to buy you something.”
“You don’t have to buy me anything, Jackie.” Hyde argued, now he was the one getting frustrated.
Jackie eyed him a bit worriedly, “Does that mean you’re not buying me anything?”
“I’m buying you something, Jackie.” He confirmed, “But you don’t have to buy me anything, especially if you’re making this big of a deal out of it.”
“But Steven…”
Before she could say anything else Eric came back down into the room with two round chocolate cookies in each of his hands; the powdered sugar on his lips indicating that he’d already had a few more cookies.
“Hey Hyde, Mom just took out a fresh batch of chocolate crinkle cookies.” He informed moving towards his seat back on the sofa.
The curly haired man nodded “Cool.”
Hearing the Zen reply, Jackie eyed him from the corner of her eye. She knew he was just playing his Zen, Mrs. Forman’s chocolate crinkle cookies were his favorite Christmas cookie and favorite overall cookie right next to her peanut butter chocolate ones that Kitty occasionally made on Christmas just for him. And even though their discussion about his Christmas gifts was anything but over, Jackie knew it would be too cruel to keep him away from the chocolaty treat.
“Go.”
“Thanks, Doll.” Came his response before giving her a quick peck on the cheek and then carefully helping her off his lap.
Soon Hyde had disappeared upstairs leaving Jackie standing between the old sofa and the even older plastic chair, her arms were crossed over her chest and there was a scowl firmly indented on her forehead. That same frown deepened even more when she caught a glance of the smiling man sitting on the sofa and eating cookies.
“What are you smiling at?” she asked but didn’t sound all to interested.
Though Eric didn’t usually talk to Jackie unless they were exchanging burns, this explanation was too good to not share.
“Mom wasn’t really getting cookies out of the oven when I went in the kitchen. She was coming in with a box of decorations and I came down here just before she saw me.” Eric told her, his lips stretching into a bigger smile the more he explained “And while I’m down here enjoying my cookies, Hyde’s up there getting cookie trapped into decorating. He’s not gonna be down here for a long time.”
Jackie’s eyebrows remained furrowed, “Leaving it just the two of us in here?” she asked in disgust.
Instantly Eric’s grin fell and he lost all the joy he’d felt moments ago, “I did not think this through.”
As Eric sat with his mind filled with regrets of not finding this loophole in what was once what he thought was a great burn, Jackie soon joined him on the sofa giving out a loud sigh as she heavily dropped herself onto the right end of the sofa. Eric looked across the foot and a half of space and towards the moping brunette. He couldn’t help but be concerned…or at least curious to find out what was wrong. Besides if he didn’t ask he was sure she would tell him anyway. Sometimes things were better when taken care of like removing a band-aid—quick but still painful.
“What’s with you Cindy Lou Who?” he asked popping another cookie in his mouth.
Keeping her eyes fixated straight ahead and on the television Jackie replied, “Steven, won’t tell me what he wants for Christmas.”
“So?” asked a puzzled Eric, “You’d probably end up getting him something he doesn’t want but you think he should want anyways.”
Obviously offended by what was said, Jackie’s eyes became large and she finally looked at Eric, “I would never do that to Steven on Christmas.” She argued and then paused for a moment or two, “Maybe for his birthday but not for Christmas. For Christmas I want to get him something he’ll actually like but I can’t think of anything! Ugh! Boys are so hard to shop for!”
Eric just about choked on the piece of cookie he had in his mouth. He fell into a coughing fit for several seconds and pounded onto his chest with his fist; Jackie merely watched on with a frown, eyeing him up and down, waiting for him to stop.
When he finally managed to calm himself down he looked at Jackie with watery eyes and said, “Boys…boys are hard to shop for? Have you ever even shopped for a girl?”
Jackie raised up her right eyebrow, giving him a look that said, ‘Really?’
“I mean besides you.” He corrected himself, “Girls are the ones that are hard to shop for!”
This made Jackie scoffed, “Girls are the easiest to shop for. You’re just having a hard time because you’re married to a tomboy lumberjack girl.”
“I guess that’s true.” Eric unhurriedly admitted, “I mean if I was with a girl like you it’d be pretty easy. I’d get you something pink and frilly.”
“And if I was with a guy like you I’d get you something geeky and Star Wars-y.” added Jackie.
“Maybe we should get together just to make our holiday shopping easier.”
Though Eric’s words had been said in a playful, kidding manner Jackie looked him square in the eyes with a facial expression that was dead serious and pretty upset and scary looking too as she said, “Don’t even joke about that.”
“I know.” Eric swiftly agreed, nodding his head and then shivering at the thought he’d placed in his own head.
“Wait!” Jackie exclaimed as she suddenly realized something, “You haven’t gotten Donna’s gift yet?”
Startled by her outburst, Eric jumped in his seat and panicked a bit, “I…you haven’t gotten Hyde’s gift!” he reminded with a pointed finger, “You don’t even know what to get him, I at least have some ideas on what to get Donna.”
“Okay,” she said, leaning back and lifting her chin up at Eric as if she’d just been given a challenge, “Let’s hear them.”
“I….Okay fine I have an idea.” He corrected himself and when Jackie’s posture remained the same, he figured that meant that she was still waiting to hear his idea; he took a deep breath, “Okay, I’m think…a toaster!”
She stared at him saying nothing for several seconds before asking, “A toaster?”
“Yeah.”
“A toaster?” Jackie repeated once more, still not believing she had heard right.
“Yes, a toaster…Oh wait sorry.” Eric cleared his throat and settled in for another grand explanation, “A toaster is something that makes toast, Jackie. You see, you get some slices of bread and you put it in the slots of the toaster and…”
“I know what a toaster is, Eric!” the brunette quickly and loudly interrupted, “And I know you can’t get that as Donna’s Christmas present.”
He scowled, “Why not? It’s practical. Ours broke two weeks ago.”
“Eric, getting Donna a toaster for Christmas is like getting Michael a dictionary for Christmas.” She said, trying to get him to realize how horrible of a gift a toaster would be.
“She’d use it to look up dirty words?” Eric asked, not understanding Jackie’s point.
The pair of brown eyes rolled in annoyance before settling on Eric again, “Just trust me on this. You can’t get Donna a toaster for Christmas. Especially with what she’s giving you this year.”
“Fine.” He gave in sounding defeated until he picked up on something else Jackie had said, “Wait, you know what Donna’s giving me for Christmas this year?” he asked and when she nodded in response he asked his next question, “Can you tell me what it is, so I’ll know what kind of gift I should get her?”
“Nope.” Jackie wasted no time in answering, making Eric’s boney shoulder’s deflate in disappointment. “I’ll give you a clue though.”
Eric moved his head up and then down, “I’ll take it.”
“It’s waayy better than a toaster.” She told him with a smile that only grew when she saw the way his shrunk.
The clue was not as exciting as Eric hoped it would be and instead filled him with disappointment. Although the disappointment wasn’t because of the fact that he didn’t get to figure out what gift Donna had got him this year, it was because he had fallen for Jackie’s trap in the first place.
He heaved a heavy sigh, dropping his head onto the back of couch before muttering, “Well I guess it’s back to the drawing board.”
“Oh stop being so melodramatic.” The petite woman in the room barked at him “You’ve to it easy. All you have to do is take Donna out to the mall and see what she gets excited over, then the next day you come back and buy it for her. I can’t do that with Steven, if I take him to the mall he’ll just get angry and try to get us out of there as quickly as he can, he won’t get excited over anything.” She paused and gave her next statement some thought, “In all the years I’ve known him I’ve never seen Steven get excited over things he wanted for Christmas.”
“That’s true.” he nodded beside her, “Except for that one year when we were like eight or nine and he was excited about this one thing he really wanted.”
Jackie was curious, “What was it?”
“A 1968 Eldon Power-Pack 8 1/32 Scale Road Race with Ferrari P-3 and Porsche Carrea racer bodies.” Eric recited just part of the speech his best friend gave nearly every day from Thanksgiving 1968 to Christmas 1968; he smirked as he added, “He had the whole commercial memorized and carried the ad from the paper in his back pocket.”
“Aw!” Jackie gushed, thinking that was just the cutest thing ever, “Did he get it?”
Eric’s smile suddenly faded before he shrugged his shoulders, “His mom was Edna so…yeah, you can pretty much fill in the blanks.”
“Oh my poor, Puddin’ Pop.” She said with sad eyes and her hand once again over her heart that was breaking for the younger version of Steven; suddenly her sad eyes filled with fire, “You know not only was Gross Edna gross but she was a horrible mother.”
“She wasn’t…” Eric tried to defend the woman since it was Christmas but he’d known Hyde almost his whole life and knew at a very young age the reason why the hung out at his house and not Hyde’s. “Yeah okay. She was pretty bad.”
Despite Eric agreeing with her, Jackie ignored his words and stayed lost in her thoughts, speaking a few of them out loud so Eric could hear, “My poor Steven, I can’t believe he didn’t get his race car thingy.”
“1968 Eldon Power-Pack 8 1/32 Scale Road Race.” corrected Eric but it went unheard.
“I can’t even imagine what that must have felt like for him. I always got what I wanted for Christmas and I’ll never forget how happy I was when I got my gifts. Like my sapphire necklace that Daddy gave me when I was sixteen. And all the dolls and houses. Oh and my two ponies when I was four.”
“Two…two ponies?” Repeated a bewildered Eric.
“One would get lonely!” she argued when suddenly she to an idea and covered her mouth as she gave an excited gasp, “I know what to get Steven for Christmas!”
Eric’s confusion only grew, “A pony?”
Jackie didn’t give a yes or a no and instead hopped onto her feet and began button her coat back up, “I gotta go.”
“What? No! Don’t go!” Eric called out, surprising himself by saying these words to Jackie Burkhart; however instead of making a remark about it, he knew he had to focus on getting her to stay, “I helped you figure out a gift for Hyde…I mean I’m pretty sure I did, so you’ve gotta tell me what I should get Donna.”
“Not a toaster.” She answered with her right hand already clutching the cold doorknob of the basement’s backdoor.
“Jackie!”
“Ugh! Fine!” Jackie gave in, looking and sounding quite annoyed as she dragged herself away from the room’s exit and sat down on the left arm of the sofa, right beside where Eric was sitting with a triumph smile now on his lips—it was a sight that made Jackie scowl even more, “But only because Donna’s my best friend and she doesn’t deserve to have a horrible Christmas even though she probably knew she would since she married you.”
Eric’s proud grin changed into a more sarcastic one, “That’s sweet, you should think about printing that on Christmas cards.”
“Do you want my help or not?” Jackie asked in a clearly aggravated tone of voice, it was when Eric lifted his palms in a ‘don’t shoot’ stance that she went on, “Okay, you know Jean’s Bookstore by the Piggly Wiggly?”
“Yeah…” he said, not knowing where she was going with this.
“Well it’s going out of business.”
This shared information made Eric frown even more, “Yeah, Jackie I’m kinda working with a budget here. I don’t think I can afford a bookstore.”
“I’m not telling you to buy her a store!” Jackie said with a sharp glare, “I’m telling you to buy her a book.”
“But she has books.”
A breath of air escaped Jackie’s lips before she tried again, “Because Jean’s Bookstore is going on out business they have a lot of those really old and really smelly books that Donna likes so much, and they’re all for really low prices.”
While Eric liked the idea he wasn’t convinced just yet, “But which one would I get her?”
“I don’t know.” Jackie shrugged as she stood up again, “Get her the oldest smelliest one there.”
The more he thought about the book gift idea the more Eric liked it and thought Donna would like it too. He soon joined Jackie in getting off the sofa and getting ready to make a shopping trip, however while Jackie was getting ready to exit through the back door Eric needed to go upstairs to get his coat but before he could do that he knew there was one more thing he had to do.
“Thanks Jackie.” He said in a sincerely tone, “I’ll make sure your gift from me is extra prink.”
Jackie smiled at him giving him her own form of a thank you, “And I’ll make sure yours is extra geeky.”
Eric grinned back at her and their smiles remained on each of their faces as they left the room through their separate exits.
0o0o0o
The snowman wrapping paper was ripped off and revealed underneath it was a large blue box with a picture of the box’s contents and then printed in white bold letter were the words ‘Eldon Power-Pack 8 1/32 Scale Road Race.’
Jackie held her clasped hands just under her chin, watching Hyde’s reactions carefully as his eyes scanned the box. He didn’t look upset, nor did he look very Zen like but he also didn’t appear to very excited. That was the last time she listened to Eric!
It was Christmas Eve and so it was time for the annual tradition of opening one gift before evening ended and Christmas morning was here. It was done in the basement and so no gifts from Red and Kitty or anyone else in the family were opened, it was just between the gang. And this year they had gotten some pretty good gifts—except for Kelso who opened a present from Jackie that turned out to be a shirt.
“You don’t like it?” Jackie asked with a worried look.
“No, it’s cool.” Hyde assured looking at the box, “Just think you mixed mine and Kelso’s gifts. Hey Kelso…”
She quickly interrupted before their policeman friend could hear his name be called, “Steven, no. That’s your gift. I know you wanted one when you were little but your drunk of a mother didn’t get it for you. So I got it for you.”
“How’d you know about that?” Hyde had to ask, he couldn’t recall sharing that story with her.
With her smile staying in place, Jackie looked over to the sofa at Eric, who didn’t say anything but did return the smile. She looked back at Hyde, “I had some help from another one of Santa’s helpers.”
Hyde nodded his head, his attention was too focused on his new gift to ask anything else.
“This is pretty cool, Jackie. Thanks.” He said leaning closer to her to kiss her quick but sweetly and then his eyes were back on his new toy, “Can I open it?”
Jackie had to hold in a laugh before she replied, “Of course you can open it, Steven. It’s yours.”
“Cool.” Hyde said and with a child like smile he lifted the cover of the box and began to explore all the things inside the box.
Watching him examine all the parts of the race track and the two different cars while his smile grew more and more, Jackie could feel her own smile expanding. He looked just like a little kid on Christmas morning. Even if it was years later, Jackie was glad she could give him not only the toy set but the happiness that came along with it.
“Aw man, Jackie got you toys?” Kelso said in a jealous tone as he and Fez walked towards the sofa, “All I got was clothes.”
Fez looked at his taller friend, “Maybe it is because you are not sleeping with her anymore.”
“Yeah, that’s probably it. She’s missin’ the Kelso lovin’ and trying to make me jealous.” Kelso reasoned with a nod of his head.
This exchange caused Hyde to get his attention of his new toys for just enough time to deliver a hard punch onto Kelso’s right arm causing him to bump roughly into Fez’s.
“Ow!”
“Aye!”
Smirking, Hyde got his box and stood up, “Stop your blubbering and help me set this up. I might even let you get a turn today.” The other two men, quickly cheered up and excitedly followed Hyde over to the area behind the sofa but in front of the old shower, Hyde suddenly stopped and turned back around, “You comin’ Forman?”
“Oh yeah, I’ll be right there.” Eric assured.
“I call the red one!”Kelso exclaimed in a hopeful tone.
“Sorry man, my race track, I’m the Ferrari.”
Fez pouted at Hyde’s words before crying out, “Jackie! Hyde is not sharing!”
With a shake of her head, Jackie stood up and walked over to where the other had gone, hoping to settle the argument before it began; and her leaving gave Donna and Eric a tad bit more privacy so they could exchange their gifts that they still held in their laps.
“Aren’t you gonna open your gift, Donna?”
“Oh yeah.” the redhead nodded, glancing at her rectangular shaped gift and then back at Eric, “I was just waiting for you to open yours.”
Eric smiled, “Okay, let’s open them at the same time.”
“Okay.” Donna agreed before realizing what she’d done, “No wait!” she called out, halting him from taking out the tissue paper from the gift bag his present was hidden in, “I wanted to see your face when you opened yours. You go first. No, wait, I’ll go first.”
Though Eric did think his wife was acting a little strange he didn’t question it and instead nodded his head, “Okay, go ahead.”
Smiling excitedly, Donna began to tear off the wrapping paper from her gift…or at least the box that held her gift. After getting the wrapping paper off she needed to open up the white box that looked like it would hold some piece of clothing. However, as she took off the top she was pleasantly surprised.
“Oh my God. The Velveteen Rabbit?” she said pulling out the very aged book and grinning at her husband “This was my favorite book when I was little.”
“I know.” Eric nodded, “It’s the first edition too. Smelly and all.”
Donna laughed and then gave him a swift kiss, “Thank you, Eric. I love it. And it kind of goes with what I got you.”
That statement certainly peaked Eric’s interest and he right away went to unwrapping his own present. It took him a few seconds to pull out all the red and green tissue paper sheets but soon they were all out and all that was left inside was his gift. Wearing a curious frown on his face he grabbed the small piece of material of out the bag.
“Well Donna, I’m not gonna lie,” he started to say, examining the white object in his hands, “I think you may have gotten it two sizes too small.”
To further prove his point, Eric lifted the baby bonnet and placed it on top of his head.
“It’s not for you, you dillhole.” Donna said, playfully as her smile grew, “It’s for the baby.”
Eric took the bonnet off his head, “Oh right, the baby.” Then he heard his words and his eyes became large, “Wait what baby?”
“Our baby.” His wife said while her eyes filled with happy tears.
“Our baby?” Eric repeated, his smile so big it was hurting his cheeks, but he didn’t care. “We’re having a baby?”
Donna nodded, “Yeah.”
“We’re having a baby!” he exclaimed happily before pulling Donna into a kiss and tight embrace that did not end when the kiss did, “Jackie, you were right! My gift really is waaayyy better than a toaster!”
Jackie smiled at the couple and though Donna wasn’t exactly sure what her best friend and husband were talking about she figured it was better if she didn’t know and instead enjoyed this moment in a Christmas they would sure to never forget.