Archive of Our Own

Zagreus was in a car he wasn’t entirely familiar with. It was okay, because he was very familiar with the other people in it, he had just never really been in the car itself.

Not that he had been planning any of this. It was just that, after his most recent screaming match with his father, Zagreus had wanted to get away. Not to Nyx’s, where he normally went. She would inevitably tell his father where he was, out of some misguided belief that Zagreus’ dad might give a shit about the whereabouts of his teenage son.

No, he had wanted out. That meant throwing some clothes and other bits and pieces in a backpack, climbing out the window and getting on any train that would take him as far as he could get.

Zagreus had gotten about halfway up the country before the adrenaline had faded and he realised he had no plan. No idea where he would stay, no money that wasn’t technically his father’s, no idea where he even was.

It was in a semi-panicked state that Zagreus had called for help. He had considered Nyx, but even with all she had done for him, Nyx was too closely associated with his father. Zagreus’ feelings were still too raw.

That was how Zagreus found himself in the unfamiliar (but still nice) car. Everything outside the reach of the sporadic road lights was unsettlingly dark in a way that only the countryside could manage. Zagreus had never spent much time out of the city and the lack of light pollution made him almost uneasy.

The creeping dark didn’t seem to faze Patroclus as he continued to drive down the motorway, idly chatting to Achilles in the front. Zagreus remembered being told that they had spent some time in the countryside when they were younger, for some education reason or another. Maybe the hours of driving had just made them indifferent to the quiet stretches of road and intense night sky.

Zagreus hadn’t been sure what he was expecting when he had told Achilles what had happened and where he had wound up. A part of him expected to be guided to a place he could stay for the night, or be told to get the next train back. He hadn’t expected to be told to wait at the empty station for them to come and get him.

He had spent the hours waiting for them on the phone, because Achilles refused to hang up in case something happened to Zagreus. He got his lecture then - about how dangerous this was, how anyone could have gotten him, how no one would have even known he was gone until the morning. There was something more painful about the way all of Achilles’ concerns were centred around Zagreus and his safety, rather than the fact that he had definitely done this out of poorly thought out spite.

And a part of Zagreus had hoped that maybe, just maybe, something like this would kickstart some deep part of his father that loved him. Maybe seeing how far Zagreus got would make him realise he wanted his son around.

It was more likely, Zagreus thought with a deep sigh, that his father would wake up in the morning, realise what had happened and bitch about all the overtime he would have to pay Achilles.

Still, there was something soothing about it all. The soft hum of the engine, the quiet night outside the window, where trees and street lamps rushed past them. There was the amicable conversation Zagreus could hear, because there had been some silent agreement once Achilles and Patroclus arrived that the lecture was over.

Zagreus wasn’t used to people just...talking. His father was always focused on work, and Thanatos had been the same recently. Hypnos was always asleep, Charon never talked much and Nyx wasn’t one for small talk. But Zagreus listened as the two adults spoke softly to each other, Patroclus watching the road while Achilles leaned against the window.

Patroclus was telling Achilles to take some codeine when they got in and his ankle really must have been giving Achilles hell because he agreed. Zagreus did feel bad for that - he had been the one to storm off, yet he was comfortably beginning to doze off in the backseat while Achilles would no doubt be dealing with this flare up for a few days.

No one blamed Zagreus, at least not out loud. Instead, the conversation drifted to how it was nice that Patroclus had managed to get Christmas off for two years in a row, how a lot of the other doctors were just giving it a miss and instead swapping so those with families could have the time together. They discussed when they would need to go get food in for Christmas Day, and what exactly they wanted. It was all so mundane and domestic and so foreign. Zagreus had never realised how safe it would make him feel.

It all added up and Zagreus didn’t fight the heaviness of his eyelids or the way his body settled into sleep. He hadn’t even noticed the amount of times Achilles’ eyes had flickered over to the rearview mirror, to make sure Zagreus was okay.

----------------------------------

This was bad, even by the usual standard of Hades-based drama. Achilles had some thoughts on his parenting abilities at the best of times, but hearing that Zagreus had somehow managed to get to a town in the middle of nowhere several hours away without anyone even noticing had definitely made Achilles nervous.

Few things actually made him nervous.

But God, what if this happened again? What if someone got to Zagreus before he managed to get in touch? How far would he be able to go? What if he got hurt or kidnapped or any number of things, how desperate did he have to be-

“Think any louder, love, and I won’t be able to concentrate on the road.” Patroclus interrupted the mental path Achilles had been following, chuckling quietly as he also quickly looked over his shoulder to where Zagreus was fast asleep in the backseat.

At least the lad was safe. That was the most important part, for now.

“I can take over, if you want.” Patroclus scoffed at the suggestion.

“Yeah, because you should be driving right now. You’ve been fidgeting about the whole time.”

“What’s that got to do with anything?”

“You only get restless like that when it's a really bad pain day.”

Achilles couldn’t argue with that. In his haste to get dressed and get to Zagreus as soon as possible, he’d turned at a bad angle and now Achilles could actually feel his pulse in his ankle. It was a small price to pay to make sure Zagreus wasn’t alone in the arse-end of nowhere with nowhere to stay.

It wasn’t worth mentioning - Achilles had already agreed to take something stronger for it when they got in, and he didn’t want Zagreus to feel even worse for dragging them out. Not that he had; Zagreus hadn’t even asked them to, but no doubt he would blame himself anyway.

Some people just shouldn’t have children and Hades was arguably one of them.

Achilles was reluctant to let him go home, even now. He had argued that it was just easier if the lad stayed with them for the night and if Hades wanted his kid back so damn badly he could drive halfway up the country in the middle of the night to go get him. Until then, Achilles didn’t exactly just want to hand Zagreus back into the same situation that had gotten them where they were in the first place.

His phone buzzed from where it rested on the dashboard and Achilles frowned, wondering who the hell would be calling him at that time. Maybe it was Hades and maybe he was looking for his son and there was some hope after all.

That hope vanished as soon as Achilles picked the damn thing up. It was Nyx, because she was the only other person who had actually cared for Zagreus. Well, adult. That comment hadn’t been fair on her sons.

“Hey, Nyx, everything alright?”

“I hope I didn’t wake you, Achilles. Thanatos has told me he’s spoken to Zagreus, and he’s--”

“I’ll stop you there; he called me. Pat and I have him, we’re just driving back now.”

There was an audible sigh on the other side, as if Nyx’s relief had been so strong that she couldn’t hide it. Maybe she just chose not to.

“It’s so good to hear he’s safe, he hadn’t told Thanatos where he was.”

“Poor lad must be tearing his hair out,” Achilles laughed slightly, picturing Thanatos fuming over Zagreus. At least he could settle now as well. “I think it’s best if he just stays with us tonight. Whatever happened, he can talk it over tomorrow after he’s had some time to sleep on it.”

“Is that alright with the two of you?” Achilles knew she was referring to Pat, like he had even argued. His own father had been a piece of shit (and it was a good thing Pat had nothing to do with him, because Achilles definitely still had some violence left in him).

“It’s easier, actually. It’ll be late enough by the time we get back.”

“True enough. Thank you, Achilles - it’s very kind of you to take him in as you have.”

Achilles had a feeling Nyx knew more than she was obviously letting on. It was as if she knew that Achilles was ready to take Zagreus away at a moment’s notice and was more than okay with it. Well, it was good to have Nyx on board. She seemed wise beyond anyone Achilles had ever met and had an air of dignity and grace that was almost intimidating. If he had her approval, then it was probably a good idea.

At least, that was what he planned on telling Pat when this inevitably came up.

“It’s not a problem at all. You take care, Nyx.”

“And you, I’ll speak with you tomorrow.”

It was sad that Nyx already knew she would likely be the go-between for Hades and his son. It only further cemented Achilles’ belief that Hades could show up himself if he wanted Zagreus to go home. The lad was always welcome in Achilles’ home.

Which, as he put the phone back down, brought Achilles to his most recent plan. Who even said Zagreus had to go back home, after all? Certainly not his father.

There was no use trying to play coy with it. Not with Pat, at least - no one knew Achilles better than him.

Besides, from the way Pat had been giving Achilles the side-eye, he probably knew Achilles was planning something anyway. Which was a great sign that people do grow, because a younger Achilles would have just done whatever he wanted regardless of what anyone else (or, perhaps, the law) thought.

“I think the lad should stay with us. Over Christmas, at least.”

“You think his dad will go for it?”

“He doesn’t celebrate it anyway. Zagreus told me he’s always wanted to have a proper Christmas.”

“I’d assumed Nyx would take him in for it.”

“She doesn’t celebrate it either. Religious reasons, though, so I can’t get on her for that. She seems to think it's a good idea.”

Pat hummed in agreement and Achilles was struck by how easy this seemed to be. Not that Pat would have something against taking in a kid whose dad was indifferent to him at best and actively hated him at worst. It was that Pat considered things like legal implications and whether or not this would lose Achilles his job.

He was smart like that. Achilles was so proud of him.

“Any thoughts, love?”

“Sure, I wouldn’t mind having the kid there. But you didn’t answer me - you think his dad will let him?”

“I won’t ask for extra pay or anything for having him.”

“That’ll probably work in your favour.”

“I’ll tell him I’ll make sure Zagreus works while he’s with us.”

“But you won’t actually make him, will you?”

“That’s not part of a proper Christmas, Pat. But Hades doesn’t need to know.”

Lying to his boss definitely wasn’t the worst thing Achilles had ever done. It didn’t even make the top ten. Pat knew that, because Pat knew everything about Achilles and also knew a lot of things in general because, again, he was smart. But he was also compassionate, far more so than Achilles had ever been. He would be just as reluctant to see Zagreus go back to being alone with his father, and Pat didn’t know him half as well as Achilles did.

He was just kind like that. He always had been; always considering other people and willing to put himself on the backburner. He was everything Achilles would never be, no matter how much he had matured. That care for others just came naturally to Pat, whereas Zagreus had been a special case when it came to getting Achilles’ attention.

He was truly just a wonderful man and Achilles knew he was so lucky to be able to call Pat his husband. It was totally irrelevant to what was going on, but it was a thought Achilles had often all the same.

He’d make it work. Hades could come and drag Zagreus from his cold, dead hands if he was so against the idea. It would at least give the lad something to look forward to. A break he didn’t know he was allowed to take.

Achilles could feel his own eyelids grow heavy as he once more turned in his seat to check Zagreus was alright. He’d never felt this strange, almost protective feeling before. This wasn’t like when he used to go for anyone who even looked at Pat the wrong way. Similar, but not quite the same. Achilles didn’t know how to describe it.

Pat did, because he always knew these things.

“Who knew you’d be the one to take to fatherhood so well?” He joked, giving Achilles a fond look before humming to himself, mumbling something about a service station and petrol.

“I’m not the lad’s father.”

“You might as well be. You’re the one he called, and the one who came to get him--”

“You’re here too, you know.”

“Okay, fine,” Pat laughed, pulling into the side road that led into the near empty service station. “We’re both fathers.”

It gave Achilles some room for thought. Was that what this was? Was this want to keep Zagreus safe a feeling his own father should experience? It was sad, then, that Achilles was the one to be thinking about it. He’d barely been in Zagreus’ life a year.

He’d never given much thought to the concept of having a family. Achilles had always been a ‘live fast, die young’ kind of man. Until everything went to hell, and then it got better, and that put life into a whole new perspective for him. Being boring wasn’t at all a bad trade off for all the years it meant he and Pat would have together. Maybe he should think more about it.

Not now, though. It was coming up to one o’clock in the morning and they still had at least another hour to go, hence the need for petrol. A thought suddenly struck Achilles and he quickly unfasted his seatbelt, shaking the exhaustion that had been creeping in away and quickly telling Zagreus over his shoulder that he would be right back.

---------------------------------------

Zagreus blinked himself awake, frowning against the harsh, unnatural light of the petrol station. He was alone in the car and was vaguely aware Achilles had said something to him, but couldn’t quite remember what.

Which made him absolutely no help when Patroclus got back in, giving the passenger seat a confused look.

“Where’d he go, kid?”

“I...I didn’t catch it, sir. I was still asleep.”

Zagreus at least sounded as apologetic as he felt. He’d already put the two of them out enough, the least he could do was listen to what they said to him. It didn’t matter in the end, because Achilles was back within minutes, handing a bottle to Patroclus before passing one back to Zagreus.

“When was the last time you had something to drink, lad?”

Zagreus didn’t answer, trying to think back. Probably before he left his father’s house. So, a while ago, but honestly being hydrated just hadn’t been at the forefront of his mind. Achilles tutted to himself, but he didn’t look angry. Instead, he nodded to the bottle of water in Zagreus’ hand.

“Have some of that before you go back to sleep, you’ll feel better for it.”

It was actually very sweet that Achilles had thought of that, so Zagreus did as he was told. Also because his mouth did feel dry and if Achilles said he was dehydrated then he probably was, because Achilles was good at all that healthy stuff.

Zagreus didn’t actually fall back asleep after that. He was tired but wound up staring out the window, listening to the overplayed Christmas songs that were being cheerily announced on the radio and occasionally talking to Patroclus and Achilles.

Which eventually ended up becoming just Patroclus, because despite his insistence that he would stay awake, Achilles fell asleep against the car window with about half an hour left on their journey.

Patroclus had told Zagreus to just leave him - he had to be tired if he was able to sleep before he’d been able to take anything for his ankle. Zagreus really did feel bad that he’d woken them up and made Achilles worse in the process.

“I’m sorry about all this, sir.”

“You don’t have to call me sir, you know.”

“Uh, well...I’m sorry about all this, Mr. Patroclus.”

Zagreus got a sigh for his efforts, but Patroclus just waved briefly at him.

“Don’t worry about it. He’d have a fit if you’d been up there all night.”

“I just...wanted to get away. I didn’t mean to cause so much trouble.”

There was a long pause where Patroclus just hummed, as if he were thinking about what to say. It felt strange, to know he had done something wrong and not be yelled at. Even during the phone lecture, Achilles hadn’t yelled.

“Achilles gave you a key, didn’t he?”

“He did, sir-I mean, Patroclus,”

“Well, next time, just let yourself in.”

“Are you sure?”

Patroclus looked over to where Achilles was still asleep, head resting against the window. He laughed softly as he looked back at the road and Zagreus was struck that he’d never been around people who not only loved each other that much, but were happy to be open about it.

“Maybe give us a heads up first, so he knows it’s not a break-in. Unless you enjoy being threatened with sharp things?”

Zagreus laughed, shocked by the sudden joke.

“I...I’d rather not be.”

“Smart answer. But now you know - next time you need to get away, you’ve got somewhere to go.”

“I couldn’t put that on the two of you.”

“Too bad, that’s what the key is for.”

It sounded like a done deal, like it wasn’t a huge gesture that they had opened their home to Zagreus. Patroclus barely even knew him, but he was so blasé about it. Zagreus didn’t argue it with him.

“Thank you.”

There was a warm feeling in Zagreus’ chest at the thought of having somewhere to go. He could never repay Nyx for all she had done for him and he knew her home was always a safe place, but she had her own sons to worry for. Besides, when his father did decide to look for him eventually, Nyx’s place was always his first spot.

It felt like having a secret hideout, like he could ease some of the burden he had placed on Nyx’s shoulders (even if she handled it with her usual grace and patience). It hurt that things were this bad with his father, but knowing there were others who cared did something to ease the pain, if only a little.

Zagreus began to recognise the streets they drove down and a feeling of dread started forming in his stomach. Maybe he could sneak back in and pretend like this never happened. He didn’t want to deal with his father right now, but he had already put Achilles and Patroclus out enough. Zagreus didn’t dare push his luck and start asking favours.

It turned out he didn’t need to. They missed a turning that would have taken them to his father’s mansion and Zagreus looked towards Patroclus, confused. Maybe he was just driving on autopilot and forgot where he had to go.

“Uh, sir?”

“Really, the ‘sir’ thing just makes me feel old.”

“Sorry, sorry! But, um...you should have gone left back there.”

“I know how to get to my own house, kid.”

And it hit Zagreus then; they weren’t taking him back to his father. They were taking him with them to their home and his relief must have been visible because Patroclus didn’t make any further comments. He instead moved one hand from the steering wheel to gently nudge Achilles awake, since they were nearly back home.

Zagreus recognised the area well enough; he’d been to Achilles’ place before, once or twice. They used to have a nice apartment apparently, but after they left the army they moved to a nice bungalow. Which made sense, really, given that stairs weren’t always something Achilles was willing to handle anymore.

By the time they parked and left the car, Zagreus felt dead on his feet. His legs were cramped a little and the idea of bed - any bed - was heavenly. He went to grab his bag and followed the others inside, noting how cosy it felt. Zagreus may have been there before, but it had always been so Achilles could quickly run in and grab one thing or another. He’d never actually been inside properly before.

It was nothing like his father’s home. That place could have been a museum, with the small tufts of fur Cerberus left being the only indicator that people actually lived there. It was almost clinical in how perfectly organised everything (except Zagreus’ own bedroom) was. Nyx’s house was beautiful and suited her perfectly, but it was also a listed building. There were a lot of limits on what she could do and as such it seemed almost suspended in time. Pretty and historically interesting, but Nyx could never bring it into the modern age. Not that she would want to; no one could take better care of that place than she did.

This was just...a home. There were just little bits and pieces around that made it clear the place was lived in. There were shoes by the front door, and a blanket draped over the back of the sofa and pictures on the walls. Hell, there were even decorations up for the holidays. A bushy Christmas tree stood in the corner of the living room, lit up with white lights and various ornaments. There were lights strung up around the windows, giving the inside a comfortable glow even with all the main lights turned off.

It was nothing that Zagreus was used to. He had almost forgotten that most people wanted their homes to be inviting.

Zagreus could consider all that later. He was tired, and Patroclus was directing him to their spare bedroom. Zagreus would have managed fine sleeping on the sofa or something, but having an actual bed and a little bit of space to himself sounded so nice he could have started crying. Maybe that was the exhaustion.

It was probably the least decorated room in the house, but it was also probably the one used the least. It was still nice and had everything a bedroom needed; hell, the bed was even a double.

“Thanks, si--uh, thanks.”

He got a pat on his shoulder for his efforts and wished a good night. On the other side of the door, Zagreus could hear Achilles and Patroclus having a muffled conversation.

“You think I should let his father know he’s here?”

“If you want to wake the man up, that’s on you.”

“I don’t really, no. But I’ll have to talk to him at some point.”

“Mornings exist, love. You can talk it over then.”

That seemed to be the end of it and the voices faded as they walked away, leaving Zagreus alone. Not that he minded - he barely stayed awake long enough to get changed and into bed, before falling into a sleep so deep it seemed nothing would wake him.

----------------------------------

It must have been that way, because it was mid-morning by the time Zagreus did wake up and he had apparently slept through Achilles and Patroclus going about their own mornings, including the ungodly grinding of the coffee machine.

He could hear Achilles talking, but the conversation sounded one-sided. Either he had lost it at some point during the night and Patroclus had decided it wasn’t something to be worried about, or he was on the phone. One of those things definitely made more sense than the other.

“Oh no, he’s not been a problem at all, sir. We’ve barely even known he was here.”

True, but Zagreus had also been asleep for most of the time he had been there.

“Really, I couldn’t have left him there. You don’t have to--well, that’s very kind of you to offer, sir.”

That would be his father planning to pay Achilles for his trouble last night. Zagreus knew he’d bitch about the overtime. At least the old man was nice to someone.

“I was actually meaning to ask, Mr. Hades-”

Huh?

“-The lad mentioned you’re not one for the holidays. No, no this isn’t about that, I’m more than happy with the time off, thank you. But since he wants to do something for Christmas and I know you’re busy, would you mind if he spent the week here?”

When had that been decided? Not that Zagreus wasn’t touched - he was internally pleading with his father to let him have this. Zagreus didn’t want to go back; didn’t want to deal with the arguing and the coldness of being at home.

He’d been here less than 24 hours and no one had yelled at him. Not even once. Not for oversleeping, or for where he’d left his shoes, nothing. It was a break Zagreus had never known he had needed until it was offered.

“That would be looking at paying me for the entire week, I can’t ask you to do that, sir. Yes, I’ll make sure he keeps on top of his work. He isn’t any trouble, I just know it’d make him happy.”

There was something about hearing Achilles argue his case that made Zagreus tear up a little. It wasn’t just him making a nice offer and accepting it as soon as his father started arguing it. Achilles was making a point, as if he had actually wanted Zagreus there in the first place.

Usually, he would go to Nyx’s. She did something different around this time of the year, but it was nice to have something special happening. He’d never done the proper, tacky Christmas that everyone always gushed about. It sounded nice, though.

“He’ll be so happy to hear that sir, thank you. Yes, we’ll come by later so he can grab a few more things. I’m sure we’ll be fine, thank you again, Mr. Hades. Yes, you take care, bye.”

He had done it. Zagreus hadn’t been sure how it was going to go - his father didn’t accept no as an answer, but neither did Achilles. Whether it was just indifference on his father’s part or the fact everyone sort of knew that there was always the possibility of Achilles blowing up again, he had come out victorious.

So, off to a good start. Zagreus would just have to make sure he wasn’t putting Achilles and Patroclus out too much. A week could be a long time, after all.

They didn’t even go in to wake him up. Patroclus had asked, and Achilles had said something about letting Zagreus rest. They were genuinely good people.

But Zagreus was awake, so he should actually get out of bed and go say hello. It wasn’t as if he was going to go back to sleep anyway. He quickly got dressed and grabbed his toothbrush so he could brush his teeth before settling into the day.

He could look more presentable; he still looked tired, and could do with a shower at some point. It would have to do. Maybe his father might have had issues with it, but Zagreus doubted Patroclus and Achilles would mind much. They weren’t sticklers for that kind of thing. He hoped.

“Good morning, Vietnam.” Patroclus drawled when Zagreus properly entered the living room, one arm draped over the back of the sofa while the other held a book. Next to him, Achilles sat up slightly from where he had been leaning against Patroclus and shoved him lightly.

“That’s way before his time.”

“First of all, everyone’s seen that film. Second, we aren’t that much older than him.”

“Oh, Pat, we practically have one foot in the grave. We’ll be looking at retirement homes before you know it.”

“You’re joking now, but you were genuinely this dramatic about turning 30.”

Zagreus sat himself in the armchair by the tree and watched as the two of them play-bickered, grinning at each other the whole time. It wasn’t at all what Zagreus had expected, when Achilles had mentioned that he had been married very young. He’d assumed, based on whatever happened to his own parents, that by this point they’d barely be able to stand being in the same room as each other.

As it turned out, they were still pretty much joined at the hip. It was sweet, really. Love did exist and all that.

“I have seen that film.”

“Told you.”

Achilles swatted at his husband’s arm while Patroclus grinned triumphantly. It was so domestic in a way Zagreus was still getting used to, but enjoyed all the same. Then Achilles turned his attention back to Zagreus, leaning forward properly to pick a cup of coffee off the table in front of them.

“How are you feeling this morning, lad?”

Zagreus sighed. He knew they’d want to talk about it, but that didn’t make it any easier. He’d heard nothing from his old man, even though Zagreus knew that he knew he’d not only run away, but had also handed him over for a week. It stung, really.

“I...I don’t know. I thought he’d say something to me. I guess I’ll find out the next time I see him.”

“Ah, about that,” Achilles took a sip from his cup before settling back into leaning against Patroclus again, who did little more than shift to accommodate him. “I remember you saying how much you wanted to see what the big deal was with Christmas, so I spoke to your father and he’s said you can spend it here, if you’d like.”

Ah, right. Zagreus hadn’t actually said out loud that he was more than happy to stay. He just kind of let it all happen around him and didn’t really mention that he heard the whole conversation. Oh, well.

“Are you sure? I mean, I’d really like that, don’t get me wrong, but I thought maybe the two of you would want to spend it together.”

“We’ll still be together, lad. The house doesn’t have a two-person limit.” Achilles laughed, taking another sip of his coffee. Zagreus could count on one hand the number of times he had seen Achilles without coffee somewhere around him.

“I meant just the two of you, isn’t that what people do?”

“We spend pretty much every day of the year together, kid.” Patroclus joined in, moving his arm from the sofa so it was instead draped across Achilles’ chest.

Well, they’d had time to think about it now so if they were sure, then Zagreus wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth. Thanatos might be a little huffy but surely he’d understand. Or maybe not; his mother loved him.

“Then that would be really nice. Thank you, both of you.”

“Well, in that case,” Patroclus untangled himself so he could stand up, huffing out a small laugh as Achilles just let himself fall back in the space where Patroclus had been sitting. No doubt his ankle was still giving him grief, but he never really mentioned stuff like that. “We better go get you some more stuff.”

Which meant seeing his father again. Great. But Patroclus was right - they were better off getting that out of the way now, rather than have it hanging over Zagreus’ head.

He also must definitely have been right about Achilles, because he made no effort to move beyond putting the mug back on the table.

“Sure, I’ll just get ready.”

Zagreus hadn’t grabbed much the night before, not really thinking through what he was doing. He made a mental note of what he needed to take with him. He didn’t want to have to go back too soon just because he forgot something.

He was just getting his shoes on as Patroclus grabbed his car keys, going back into the living room to lean over the back of the sofa and kiss Achilles.

“We’ll be quick.”

“I won’t die while you’re out, you know.”

“I don’t know, you don’t have a great track record for impulse control.”

“Why would I need that? I have you.”

“And I am going to take Zagreus to get his things, so try to behave while we’re gone.”

“No promises.”

“If you make yourself worse because you were doing something stupid, you’ll get no sympathy from me.”

That got Zagreus’ attention and he quickly ran over, suddenly more serious despite the fact that both Patroclus and Achilles were still laughing at each other.

“Please don’t, sir! I promise I won’t take long!”

Achilles waved Zagreus off with a kind smile, settling himself more comfortably on the sofa and turning back to the TV, where a documentary about a Russian couple who took in orphaned bear cubs was playing.

“Don’t worry about me, lad. But can you make sure Pat picks up some milk on the way home?”

“Of course!”

“You could ask me yourself, you know.” Patroclus shouted from the front door where he waited for Zagreus. Achilles sat up again.

“My love?”

“Yes, darling?”

“We need milk.”

Zagreus felt more light-hearted when they did leave than he had before. Sure, it would suck to see his father and all, but he had a choice. He could let that cast a dark cloud over his mood, or he could embrace this break while he had it.

Besides, he had Patroclus with him. At least he had moral support.

“Want me to go in with you?”

They were in the long drive up to his father’s home, where the same dark, imposing doors that Zagreus had always known stared down at him. Maybe he could get in and out without even seeing his dad. That would be ideal, but unlikely.

“No, I’ll be alright.”

“A word of advice from an old man who’s done all this before - you’ll never please him. Whatever you do, it won’t ever be enough, so don’t waste your energy on it. Not when you have people who like you as you are.”

That shocked Zagreus and he turned, hand still poised on the door handle.

“You don’t get on with your dad?”

“Haven’t spoken to him in years. Probably best I don’t, because even if I got past it, God knows Achilles wouldn’t. Your old man’s on thin ice as well.”

“Maybe it is better that he didn’t come with.”

“Between you and me, you’re right. I’ll be out here, so go on.”

Zagreus nodded and got out of the car, not sure what to do with this new information. It was good to think he had someone around who got it, and things seemed to have worked out pretty well for Patroclus. But still, he wouldn’t wish this on someone else and it hurt to think that maybe Patroclus was right and Zagreus would never get his father’s approval.

He had nearly managed it without seeing him. Zagreus had gotten a small suitcase and thrown in everything he could think of that he would need, but caught his father on the way out. Zagreus’ posture stiffened involuntarily and he nodded awkwardly.

“Dad. I’m just leaving.”

His father’s expression was unreadable. Maybe, if Zagreus squinted and wished really hard, he could pretend his father was even a little bit upset that he was going.

“Don’t make trouble for Achilles. He’ll be hard to replace if you end up making him quit.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it. They’ve been very good to me so far. I’ll see you next week, Dad.”

Zagreus was out the door and just about to close it behind him when he paused.

“And Merry Christmas.”

He was met with silence and with a sigh, Zagreus closed the front door and went to get back in the car. The journey back was silent and he was glad that Patroclus didn’t press about Zagreus’ sudden quiet mood.

“Achilles wanted you to get milk.”

“Good thing I had you with me, I almost forgot. C’mon.”

They pulled into the car park of a small supermarket near their home. It was just one for basics, but Zagreus was confused when Patroclus turned the car off instead of just running out.

“I can wait here.”

“No you can’t, I need your opinion.”

“On the milk?”

“No, on cookies.”

That didn’t clarify anything, but Zagreus assumed Patroclus was going to get him cookies to try and cheer him up. Which was a very nice gesture, and it did help a little. So sure, he’d go and help pick cookies.

They got the milk first and then Patroclus veered off. Away from the little bakery section at the back and towards the aisle for baking at home.

Oh, they were making cookies. Zagreus had never baked cookies before. It was kind of exciting - he liked to learn new things.

“We have some templates at home. My question is, do you want to make gingerbread men or should we commit and make a gingerbread house?”

“I wouldn’t know where to begin with making a gingerbread house.”

“Good, you’ll learn. House it is.”

Patroclus picked some stuff up that Zagreus didn’t quite register, but he seemed to know the ingredients of gingerbread so Zagreus trusted him. By the time they got back in the car, he was already wondering how it worked.

If Patroclus was looking to distract him, he’d done a good job of it.

---------------------------------

Achilles had watched the show about the bear cubs for a while until he finally got up and made himself another coffee. That just happened to coincide with when he would be able to take more codeine, which he hadn’t really wanted to do when Zagreus was around. The lad would just blame himself and that wasn’t the point of this.

But they had been a while. He was starting to worry something had happened with Hades (and he knew he should have gone instead, pain be damned, it wasn’t worth risking making both Zagreus and Pat feel bad) when the two burst through the door, both in better moods than Achilles had expected.

Though he should have expected it. Achilles had some real anger issues when he was younger and if anyone in the world was capable of calming him, it had been Pat. Of course he had Zagreus laughing in the span of a single car journey. He was good with people.

“I was about to send out a search party.”

Pat walked past him to put a bag down in the kitchen before wandering over to the sofa to gently poke Achilles in the cheek.

“I’m not taking care of you when you give yourself caffeine migraines.”

“That’s a lie and you know it.”

Achilles grinned and Pat just sighed, a small smile on his face as he turned back to the kitchen. Of course it was a lie - Pat was a natural-born caregiver; he’d drop everything if he thought Achilles was functioning at anything less than the absolute peak of health.

Still, he put the half-empty cup of coffee down to wander over to the kitchen, peering curiously at what Patroclus had gotten.

“That’s a whole lot of things that aren’t milk.”

“Oh, I put the milk away.”

Zagreus’ head popped out from behind Pat, where the fridge was.

“We’re making a gingerbread house.”

That explained the other stuff. Achilles raised an eyebrow at Pat, looking between him and Zagreus.

“That means he’s going to show you how to make gingerbread.”

“You’re not helping?”

Zagreus, bless his heart, actually looked disappointed. Even if Achilles had wanted to sit this one out, he wouldn’t have been able to say no to those puppy eyes.

“I’m staying, lad, but you’ll want to listen to Pat - he’s a much better baker than I am.”

Zagreus nodded sagely before turning to Pat, beaming up at him like he’d already forgotten about his own shitty father. Good.

“Alright, I need a tablespoon and that treacle over there. Can you put the oven on 200, love?”

“On it.”

---------------------------------

“I thought Achilles said you were good at these?”

“At the gingerbread itself, sure. He’s way better at making it into a structurally sound building.”

Zagreus and Patroclus stood back as they watched Achilles carefully pipe icing along the edges of the pieces they had made. They had ended up baking the leftover dough as well so Zagreus could try some and he was pretty proud. It had turned out good.

“Hold that wall for me, lad. It’ll take a couple of minutes for the icing to set.”

“Got it!”

Zagreus dutifully held the gingerbread wall in place while Achilles continued to put it all together, pulling everyone in to help hold the house together while it set. It looked like the ones they put in magazines and Zagreus was already pretty excited about decorating it.

Which he ended up kind of doing by himself, in the end. It seemed like Achilles and Patroclus just stepped back and let him do what he wanted. Zagreus stood back when the final sugar snowflake was in place, proudly presenting his handiwork.

“What do you think?”

“Yeah, we definitely can’t eat that.” Patroclus laughed and for a second, Zagreus wasn’t sure if that was good or bad.

“Isn’t that the point?”

“But you put so much work into it, seems almost unfair to ruin it.” Achilles agreed, looking the house over. “Look, you even made it look like there’s snow on the windows.”

Oh, so they were saying it looked too nice to eat. Zagreus relaxed a little, able to be pleased with himself. For an afternoon’s work, this wasn’t too bad at all.

---------------------------------------

It was a whole day before Thanatos called. Zagreus wasn’t sure why, because Thanatos wasn’t really one for phone calls, but he was glad to hear from Than all the same.

“Hey, you okay?”

“Mum says you’re not coming over this year.”

He sounded mad. Why did he sound mad? Sure, they’d always been friends, but Than would have his mum and his brothers there and they didn’t even celebrate Christmas anyway, not like most of the world did.

“No, Achilles and his husband have said I can stay with them.”

“Why?”

“Um, because they’re nice people?”

“I mean why don’t you want to come see us?”

That would be why Than sounded mad. Zagreus hadn’t considered that maybe him going over was a tradition on their part too - he had always just assumed everyone dealt with it because Nyx felt bad for him. He hadn’t expected Than to be upset that he was missing out this year with them.

“I do like seeing you! Really, you guys have been the only thing making December bearable all my life. But I can’t live on your mum’s kindness forever and I just...wanted to do the real thing, you know?”

“We’ve never done that either, what’s your point?”

“I just wanted to get it. You guys all come together about this time and it's nice but I’m always very aware that you’re all family and I’m there because, well...because people feel sorry for me. Maybe Achilles and Patroclus do too, but it just...it doesn’t...I don’t know, Than.”

“You think we only invite you over because of pity? You’re such an idiot, Zag.”

“Well that’s just uncalled for.”

“We invite you over because we like having you here! It won’t be the same without you.”

That was sweet, especially for Than. He didn’t really express sentimentality much - it never seemed to come naturally to him. But he was trying, and that meant he was upset, but at least he still wanted Zagreus around.

“I can come over on Boxing Day, if that helps? I’m sure Achilles and Patroclus won’t mind.”

“You better, or I’m going to be really, really mad at you.”

Zagreus laughed at that and after a few moments he heard Than laugh too. Just a little, but it was enough. He was forgiven, but just this once.

“Promise. I’ll see you then!”

“I’ll see you, Zag. Enjoy your Christmas.”

---------------------------------------

Achilles had told Hades that he would make sure Zagreus had work to do during the Christmas week. He had also lied about it.

They were three days in, and Zagreus hadn’t done a single productive thing. Not academically anyway. They had done a frankly obscene amount of baking and started showing Zagreus the many, many awful Christmas movies that were more of a rite of passage. One night they had even walked around the neighbourhood to look at the lights.

In between it all, he and Pat had made secret runs out to get the lad presents. It was going to be a surprise for him.

It was going well. Achilles didn’t know what Hades was always complaining about - Zagreus always tidied up after himself, was nothing short of polite at all times and never asked for much. Most people would be thrilled to have him as their kid, Achilles was sure. God knew he was a nightmare at that age.

He would have been even worse, had Pat not been around to remind him that there were these annoying things called consequences. Zagreus was probably the most well behaved teenager alive.

They were showing him another film that evening, another retelling of A Christmas Carol where Bill Murray played a CEO. Pat loved it.

Zagreus wasn’t looking at the screen. He was instead staring down at the glass Achilles had given him. The lad was 16 - he could have a bit of mulled wine over Christmas.

“Something wrong, lad?”

“Um...you do know you made the wine hot, right?”

He was being serious. Zagreus was looking between the glass and Achilles in confusion. Pat was laughing to himself from where he was sat next to Achilles.

“Kid, it’s mulled wine. It’s meant to be hot.”

“It is?”

Pat laughed harder as Zagreus looked down at the warm liquid with something like wonder. Achilles didn’t realise he’d never had mulled wine before. Or even heard enough to know it was supposed to be served hot. Surely he had seen it somewhere. Surely.

“That’s what mulled wine is, lad. It’s warm wine with spices, just trust us on this one.”

“I’d be careful; Achilles puts something else in and even though I am supposed to be the love of his life, he has never told me what it is.”

“And I never will.” Achilles leaned over to kiss Pat on the cheek before he got comfortable on the sofa, glad Pat had the idea to pause the film when this conversation began.

There were two secrets to making mulled wine. The first was that the wine had to be given time to cool at first, so it could infuse with the spices.

(Pat knew that one.)

The second was that when he reheated it, Achilles added a bit of sloe gin to give it a bit of extra warmth.

(Pat didn’t know that one.)

Zagreus took a tentative sip of the wine and after a second, his eyes lit up. He could be pretty endearing most of the time - it was a shame his father had never noticed.

“This is really good!”

That gave Achilles an idea. There was one place that always served mulled wine. If Zagreus was that unfamiliar with it, then it was likely he had never been.

“You should try the mulled cider they do at the Christmas market.”

“You make that better, too.” Pat grinned, sitting back with Achilles until they were practically pressed against each other. It was the little things.

Zagreus perked up even more at the mention, though Achilles wasn’t sure if that was because he wanted to see the market or he wanted Achilles to make mulled cider.

“I’ve never been before.”

“We’ll go tomorrow, then. They do a lot of German food and make those hot chocolates with Baileys in them.”

Maybe the conversation should be less focused on alcohol, since the lad was only 16. But it was Christmas, and a glass of mulled wine and a shot of Baileys in a hot chocolate wouldn’t kill him. Besides, he looked so excited. Achilles wasn’t about to start getting strict over something as minor as that.

“But you have to watch this first, because it is a top tier film.”

“You got it!”

Pat replayed the film and the whole scene, with the lights twinkling around them, was definitely cosy. No, Zagreus wasn’t intruding on anything at all - seeing him be so much more comfortable and come out of his shell more, without his father there to berate him for it, had definitely been worth making the extra effort.

---------------------------------

It was the day before Christmas Eve. Zagreus had definitely gotten his full Christmas experience - he was sure it was more out of the way than Achilles and Patroclus normally went, but he appreciated that they were doing it all the same. At least it seemed like they were having fun too.

He’d watched so many movies. He’d sung along with the songs everyone knew. He’d been to the Christmas market and had a bratwurst the size of his forearm. It was fun; Zagreus couldn’t remember the last time he had felt this content for this long.

He owed Achilles and Patroclus a lot. They would tell him not to be ridiculous whenever he mentioned it, and that it was no trouble for them. But Zagreus knew he owed them for a lot more than they realised.

It was just a shame that sometimes, in the quiet, he would remember that this was all borrowed time. At some point, he would have to leave and go back to his father. Christmas would pass, and the tree with its decorations and the lights would have to be put away. There would be no more mulled wine and gingerbread houses.

Zagreus got why people got so depressed in the time after Christmas. He was going to miss the way things were.

He had been in his (it wasn’t his, but for this week it was) room, talking to Than and Meg. She was having a rough time with her sisters (as usual), but she seemed no worse for wear for it. Zagreus wished she’d let someone in sometimes; it couldn’t be good to act like nothing got to her all the time.

Than, at least, was doing well. He was having the usual back and forth with Hypnos, talking about what it was like to have Charon home, making sure Zagreus was definitely going over for Boxing Day.

Nyx had kindly offered to get him and everyone had agreed that he might as well stay there for that night, since that pretty much brought the week to an end. That way, he could still hang out with Than.

It made leaving sting a little bit less. It was selfish, but Zagreus wanted to stay.

He wandered out into the hall, not sure what to do with himself. It was a slow afternoon, but that wasn’t always a bad thing. Achilles and Patroclus had worked so hard to make sure he was enjoying himself; he couldn’t be too put out if he had to entertain himself for a few hours.

He planned on watching TV but walked towards the living room to find it already on. Well, it was their house. Zagreus was just hoping they hadn’t had enough of him yet.

He considered going on his laptop, but he really did want to get out of that room for a bit.

Patroclus didn’t seem bothered at all that Zagreus was there. He smiled genially before turning his attention back to that book he’d been reading. He used one hand to hold the book open and the other was slowly running through Achilles’ hair where it was splayed out across Patroclus’ lap.

Achilles himself was asleep, lying on his back across the sofa with his head in Patroclus’ lap. Some of his hair had fallen in his face and Patroclus slowly brushed it back. They were always like this with each other, Zagreus had realised. They just liked each other’s company, and liked being close with one another.

He hoped he’d find someone he felt that way with, one day. Maybe once this weird crush he refused to acknowledge had gone away. He couldn’t have a crush on two people at once, so it wasn’t even a real one anyway.

That was a problem for future Zagreus.

“I didn’t realise he slept so much. Hypnos would be proud.” Zagreus joked, keeping his voice soft as he nodded towards Achilles.

Patroclus looked down, smiled, and then looked back at Zagreus. His voice matched Zagreus’ in volume.

“Painkillers are a hell of a thing. He used to practically run on fumes, back in the day.”

“Must be weird, to go from that kind of energy to being tired.”

Patroclus shrugged in a way that led Zagreus to believe there had been a struggle there and maybe there still was one, but he wasn’t about to go into it. Which was fair enough - this was really more Achilles’ place to tell than his.

“It means I don’t have to fight with him to actually go to sleep now. Always got to look on the bright side, kid.”

He had a point. Optimism was a powerful thing and kept more people afloat than it was given credit for. Patroclus was full of good advice. Zagreus would be sure to keep it all in mind when he eventually went back home.

Which he didn’t want to think about, so he decided he wouldn’t. He looked around instead and his eyes settled on a picture on the mantle. He spotted Achilles and Patroclus in it instantly, both looking barely older than Zagreus. Around them was another man who looked almost as sure of himself as Achilles, an older man and a man who towered over all of them. All of them were in the same fatigues. The only difference was the white band around Patroclus’ arm, with a red cross in the centre.

Zagreus knew Achilles was ex-military. Everyone called him a war hero. He never talked about it.

It was surprising to see the picture there, when Achilles had always been so staunchly anti-military towards Zagreus. He didn’t seem to remember his old army days with much fondness.

Patroclus noticed where Zagreus was looking and his smile changed into something almost nostalgic. Perhaps he remembered it differently.

“Some of our old squad. I’d just been made a combat medic there.”

Zagreus figured that was what the cross meant.

“Achilles doesn’t mention being in the army a lot.”

“I don’t think he would. He had a rough time with it, before we were discharged.”

Well, didn’t a lot of soldiers? Zagreus could swear that he read somewhere that it was a problem all over the world. People signed up, but no one was really ready for what came after.

Zagreus didn’t ask about that. It was something too personal to just expect answers to. He didn’t want to ruin the mood. He asked about the others instead.

“Do you still talk to them?”

“Those guys? Yeah, all the time. One year, we put lights and tinsel all over Ajax - he’s the big guy - and he just stood there,” Patroclus laughed fondly, clearly remembering an old joke. “We still laugh every time we remember him telling Odysseus ‘Ajax is a Christmas tree’.”

“Which one was Odysseus?”

“That one there, the older one. Next to Achilles is Diomedes. He was a machine, probably only second to Achilles himself. Up for anything, though. Odysseus said keeping us around was like herding cats.”

It was nice to hear that it wasn’t all bad. Zagreus had never been sure what to think of Achilles’ military past, but it seemed like he actually enjoyed it until the end. He looked pretty proud of himself in the picture.

“Sounds like you guys raised a bit of hell there.”

“Those guys would tell you about a very different version of Achilles, and that’s all I’ll say on it.” Patroclus winked at Zagreus and he tried to imagine a version of Achilles that was violent, out for blood and trouble. It didn’t reconcile with the man Zagreus knew.

He supposed people changed.

“Maybe best if I don’t ask then, for his sake.”

“Of course, the shame would kill him where he stood.”

They laughed together and the shaking of Patroclus’ body with it jostled Achilles slightly. He groaned disapprovingly before turning on his side and settling back again, soothed out of his half-asleep grumpiness by Patroclus gently brushing his hair back again and making shushing noises.

“So how’s your great Christmas experience going, kid. Everything you expected?”

Zagreus hadn’t expected anything. He certainly hadn’t planned for them to put in that much effort for him. That was the part that meant the most to him - everything else had been fun, but just knowing they wanted to do something nice meant the most.

Their old squad were lucky to have friends that went the extra mile like Achilles and Patroclus did.

“Yeah, it’s been pretty great.” Zagreus grinned.

“You wait until you see what you got. I’m counting on you to settle once and for all who is the best gift giver.”

“You got me gifts?”

“Obviously. That’s pretty much what Christmas is these days.” Patroclus sighed like it was completely obvious. Of course Zagreus had bought them something, but he thought the experience would be enough for him.

If the build-up had been that good, he was sure the day itself would be even better. Maybe Achilles and Patroclus would let him join them again one day, if he was really lucky.