Chapter Text
I feel it. The way my skin feels prickly. How hollow it seems inside.
If I were to scrape my knee or scratch my face, would blood drip out? Who am I, if not a vessel of nothingness?
Does she know what she’s done to me? Leaving me like this? A mission near impossible.
Find the truth? How absurd.
They all look at me with such prying eyes. As if to dissect me. See if I share what they have. A soul? A heart?
But all they would uncover is a useless element. Pure soil. Chalk.
I felt it then. The way the sword pierced him with ease. How my own body shivered at the thought of me being in his place. Of me sharing the face of the one impaled.
What if it was me instead? What if it was me staring at the me surrounded by new relationships and warmth? Would I have acted that way too? Would I have sought destruction? Is it simply fated to be? For me to destroy what I cannot have?
What am I to do then? What if I crave something so badly that I wish to annihilate any that interfere in my conquest of it?
~
Something felt different with that fellow that Lumine introduced me to. He seemed odd. The way his eyes would trace around a crowd. How he seemed to study those around him with such intensity yet would look away as if he did not care.
Was it curiosity? Anxiety?
No, it was something else. Something I understood far too well.
Loneliness.
He stood there surrounded by people, being introduced as his lips formed into a weary smile, yet I knew what hid behind those uncertain eyes.
I decided I would study him.
He took a few more steps to draw than Captain Kaeya.
A hat too big for his head, eyes that seemed frosted over like a snowy night at Dragonspine, and that same tight-lipped smile that would sometimes form into a smirk as if he thought he was better. Superior, even. But I knew otherwise.
“What’s your problem?” he asked one day, catching me off guard as I drew him. It was like his presence was not there. His approaching steps camouflaged beneath the wind’s embrace.
“This is the first we officially speak, and here you are being rather rude,” I commented, noticing the way he clicked his tongue in annoyance.
What an interesting depiction of emotion.
“All you do is stare at me all day and scribble in that stupid book of yours. Of course, I’m going to be pissed,” he spat, his nose scrunching up and head tilted high.
“You seem rather full of yourself for a man of my same stature. Or wait? It seems even I am taller than you, little one,” I smiled at that last note, enjoying the way his lips formed back into that anger filled snarl.
“Little one?! I’ll show you ‘little!’” He hissed at me, before shouting “behold,” and rising several feet into the air.
“How childlike,” I commented, chuckling at his sheer frustration at such a petty insult.
“Ugh, you!” Was all that managed to escape his lips before he stormed off, the ribbons from his hat flailing behind him quite comically.
But something bothered me. Something I had yet to understand.
The shenanigans continued. He would catch me eyeing him and glare before realizing I did not need to blink, furiously turning red from anger perhaps, and dashing away. Sometimes he would hide behind Lumine or even Paimon. Even at times where I was simply meeting his gaze and not trying to steal a glimpse for my sketchbook.
“There is no need for you to be so wary of me,” I told him once, after managing to approach him without him immediately running off. It seemed he had a certain knack for knowing when people were watching him. As if he had eyes everywhere.
Interesting.
“You make it hard to, sir alchemist,” he said with a scoff.
“Albedo is fine,” I said, realizing we never introduced ourselves.
He seemed to hesitate in his response. Normally one would reply with something like, “and you can call me so and so.” But nothing. I could not help watching him, but I believe the intensity of my stare had ticked him off once more.
“Well, Albedo. Not stalking me would be nice,” he spat, and his face seemed to turn into that sly smirk I have often seen. I think it was because I had looked shocked at the accusation, and it stirred up some feelings of arrogance within him.
“Stalking is a strong word. I simply admire what I see and so I make a record of it,” I confessed wholeheartedly.
“Admire?” He had asked, brows knit together.
“Yes. You have a certain aura about you that I just cannot pinpoint. We seem alike, and I am trying to figure out how,” I revealed, and it seemed I caught his attention that way.
“Alike… I see. It’s not a good thing if you’re like me,” he commented, his eyes suddenly averting from my gaze. What was with that expression? Such a confused and sullen look.
“Why is that?” I questioned, now noticing how enchanting his eyes were. They were like a hallucinogenic drug dragging me deeper down into a submerged corner of my mind. How terrifying. How beautiful.
“You are full of questions, eh, chief alchemist? But I do not think I’m patient enough to let you blabber your thoughts to me, so I think we’re done for today,” he announced, getting off the table and adjusting his hat.
Today? I had a chance at prying later then. Perfect.
“I never got to hear your name,” I called out as he walked off.
“That’s not something you need to concern yourself with,” he seemed to whisper, and I was lucky I heard him.
The unnamed individual only piqued my interest by the second.
He had no name. No clear origin save for wearing rather Inazuman style clothing. However, I had never seen him during my last visit to Inazuma. Surely an individual of his presence would have caught my eye. But there was something so oddly familiar. I could feel it building up at the tip of my tongue. Like the words were struggling to form together, desperately trying to escape my mind. But it would stop, and the string of words would dismantle as if there was nothing to think of.
Yet, those eyes. Yes, they were rather familiar. They reminded me of that strange storm-ridden island in Inazuma. Maybe it was the deep purple hue of the sky that reflected in his eyes. I do not know. But he was definitely something more. Something striking.
Like lightning.