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“Rick, I’d like to tell you something,” Morty said suddenly.
Acrylic dark blue eyes turned, the hyper-sensitive sensors underneath constantly taking in visual information that was sent along wires to an artificial neural network. ‘Rick’ analyzed Morty’s body language as they walked to a stop. His face was red, likely from cold and snow, his sensation algorithm informed. The boy was fiddling with his thumbs and avoiding looking the other being in the eye.
Rickbot, as the real Rick had deemed him, frowned. Despite not being a real human, Rick had repurposed some really advanced technology to create him, and RB was sentient. He felt terrible for lying to Morty, Beth, everyone in the family. He felt his stomach churning every time some commented on how much he ‘changed’. He could tell that whatever the teen wanted to say, it was being said because he thought Rick had changed.
“It’s important.”
RB turned his head away for a moment, letting his eyes drift over the banks of snow that layered the earth neighborhood. It was peaceful, snowflakes gently settling on his artificial skin and artificial carbon dioxide puffing into visible clouds from his lips with every artificial breath. Artificial.
Hesitantly, RB turned to look at Morty again and smiled, “What is it, kid?”
“Um… I - I’ve been keeping this inside me for a while, but with how good things have been this past few weeks-” RB cringed, guilt immediately plaguing his mind, “-I think it’d be good to tell you. I’m scared to - to say it, because I don’t want you to- I feel like you’d hate me.”
RB frowned again and stepped closer to the shivering boy. Despite the teen’s coat, he was freezing. It amused RB. He loved everything about Morty, he had been programmed to, and RB couldn’t help but feel like Rick did so because that’s how the stubborn man felt on the inside.
“I could never hate you, junebug. Wh- URRP -What is it?”
Junebug. It was an oddly specific word that the scientist had written into him. RB was to say it every so often, and only to Morty. If the robot had the permission parameters to, he would’ve asked Rick if it was something he wanted to call Morty. Did Rick fear that the nickname was too intimate and he was terrified of being vulnerable? It’s nearly impossible for that to not be the case, RB had decided.
Morty looked up at his ‘grandpa’s’ face with wide brown eyes, “Promise th - that you won’t leave or erase my memory?”
RB tilted his head with part of his unibrow raised. If it was that serious, he didn't want the kid to tell him. Not only was he prevented in his code to do either of those things, he didn’t want the kid telling him something that extreme. It’d only hurt the boy more when he found out he wasn’t the real Rick. But there was something in the boy’s eyes, a glitter, a sparkle of hope. It made RB feel guilty at the idea of saying no.
“...Fuck, fine, I promise.”
Morty took a deep breath, “I love you. But - But like, love love you. Li - Like I’m in love with you. Romantically, in a - in a kissing way, like-”
RB’s jaw dropped as he watched the boy nervously ramble. What was just said to him was earth shattering. It was a huge confession for anyone, let alone for an old man that had recently replaced himself with a robot. This wasn’t something RB was programmed to account for, he’d have to improvise and guess how the real Rick might react. Improvising was not something you want a robot to do.
“Hey- Hey kid, slow down, slow down!” RB gently grabbed Morty by his shoulders and shook him back to reality, “Are you- What are you saying?”
Morty grabbed a fistful of the robot’s undershirt and yanked him forward into a messy kiss. RB made a surprised noise when the feeling of soft lips touched his. The teen clumsily moved his lips a little, showing he had no clue what to do. He pulled away after just a moment, looking into RB’s eyes with hope and fear.
The man stood there, dumbfounded, with his hands still on Morty’s shoulders. Protocols blinked rapidly in front of his vision, directing him to react in certain ways. He dismissed them all, except for one: “Be vague, check with Rick.”
He slowly drew back and stood up straight, not looking at the anxious teen, “I - I need a minute to think about what just… I need to think about what happened,” he managed.
“Do you hate me…?”
RB forced himself to meet the boy's gaze and gave a sincere smile, “No, I don’t, I promise. I could never.”
Not wasting another minute, the metal man turned heel and made a quick pace back towards the Smith’s house, not stopping to look at the teen. Once there, he climbed down into the subterranean floor hatch, went into the elevator, and paused. He stared at the ‘floor 10’ button, like it might give him the answers. RB wasn’t sure how Rick was going to react to something like this. He was required to tell the scientist, but he worried for Morty’s health.
Unfortunately, duty won, and he hit the floor button. The cylindrical rattled and shook as it zoomed down floors faster than was likely safe. A soft ding sounded, and the robot stepped into the stale air of Rick’s makeshift lab. TV screens barely able to support their own weight scattered the walls. Robot arms and droids busied the room, doing different parts of some big project.
“The fuck do you want? Someone die?”
RB turned towards the rasp, gruff voice to see Rick walking towards him. He had a dark scruff around the lower of his face, and was wearing nothing but boxers. His hair was tangled and dirty, his facial expression was contorted into a scowl so deep, it might never come off his wrinkled face.
“A situation has arised that I haven’t been programmed to respond to appropriately, I am reporting here for further instructions,” RB responded, feeling his ‘casual speech’ algorithm shut off in the presence of just Rick.
“God, you speak like fuckin’ a thesaurus. You better not be talking like that to - to my family,” Rick growled, tossing a clipboard on a nearby surface, “What situation are you talking about?”
RB bit his lip and turned his eyes away from the scientist, “Morty confessed to having romantic feelings toward you, and kissed me on the lips.”
Dot dot dot could only describe the silence that followed. The bot looked back at Rick to see an absolutely blank expression, though his hands had balled into fists. His sharp eyes were flitting over the identical version of himself, as if his thoughts were being projected onto it.
“...How did you respond?”
“I told him I needed to think about it and came straight here.”
Rick turned and snapped his fingers at a drone, “Get me a razor and shaving cream,” He turned to another drone, “You, stop everything. Well, make sure nothing is going to explode and then stop everything. Have all Project Pried related processing put on idle until further notice. I’ll likely be back in the next 24 hours.”
“What would you like me to do?” RB hesitantly asked, watching the different robotic parts in the room change their direction and actions.
“Get me some clothes from my room. Oh, and get that pseudo-shower shit while you’re in there, it’ll do for now. Then once you’ve done that, monitor the Project Pried functions to make sure nothing blows up,” Rick said, walking towards a console and fiddling with dials on it.
“What is your plan here?”
“I programmed you to keep my shitt- my family passive, not ask me questions.”
“You also programmed me to keep your family safe, and I want to make sure you’re not going to hurt Morty.”
“Touche, toaster,” Rick growled, turning towards RB, “I’m just going to talk to Morty about it. It’s a serious thing and unfortunately, I can’t just make a robot do it for me. Not that you could stop me if I were going to hurt him.”
“We both know you wouldn’t.”
“Get my fucking clothes, you titanium piece of shit.”
A curt nod, an elevator sliding shut, and Rick was alone again in his lab.
He wasn’t going to let Prime ruin another part of his life. Not this time.
~~~~~~~~
Morty paced his room in panic. Rick’s reaction was sending him spiraling. Biting his nails, he mentally scolded himself. What the hell was he thinking? This was going to be a fucking nightmare. Rick would never be able to look at him the same again. All that progress was made, and Morty had ruined it. He’s a dunce, an idiot, his life was about to become an even bigger shitshow.
Sharp rapping on his door made Morty jump. The teen looked at the door like it might come to life and eat him. He knew that knock, it was Rick.
“I’m- URRP -I’m coming in,”
Just as he said, Rick walked into the room, shutting the door behind him, without the boy’s permission. The teen hugged himself, fighting the urge to hide under his blankets like a child. The scientist’s expression was a scowl. He seemed slightly off, more scruffy, but seemed to be the same. Something weird was going on.
Before Morty could analyze the details, Rick had strided over to him. He flinched in surprise when his grandfather’s cold hands cupped his face. Then lips were on his. The boy squeaked in surprise but quickly melted into it. It was soft. Nothing deep or sensual, just pleasant. It sent Morty’s mind into a bubbly bliss.
Rick pulled away and scanned the boy’s eyes. He returned the favor, trying to read the man’s dark blue eyes. There was something serious in there, like he was making a decision. Morty furrowed his eyebrows, his anxiety increasing with each passing beat.
“Morty.” Rick finally said, “Are you pos - sIGHHs - positive this is how you feel?”
“Yes, I’ve thought about it for a long - long time, Rick. I’m sure of it.”
The scientist stood up straight and sighed, “Then I have some work to do.”
“Wait! You’re not go - going to leave or erase my mem - memory, right? You promised!”
“No, I’m not, calm your tits, Morty, je - jesus christ.”
The boy let his shoulders sag in relief, casting his eyes to the window. Rick was being very vague about what he was thinking about the situation, but the kiss was enough for Morty to know that his grandpa doesn’t hate him. He wasn’t going to leave. That’s good enough for now, the teen decided.
“Morty, I-” Rick pressed his finger and thumb to the bridge of his nose, “I have to confess something. I - I’m attracted to you too, and I think a - a - a romantic relationship would be fine if you want it. But I need to tell you something first.”
“R - R - Really, Rick? You’d be in a relationship with me?” Morty squealed with glee, happiness overwhelming him.
“Yes, but don’t get - get too excited. You’re going to be pissed at me when I tell you th - this.”
Morty’s shoulders slumped and he bit his lip. Did Rick do something?
“Near the beginning of that whole knights of the sun thing, I. Ugh, I replaced myself with - URRP - with a robot. When you confessed, you confessed to a ro - robot. It’s actually me now, though.”
The boy’s eyes widened and he took a step back. Not long after, he furrowed his eyebrows and scowled at the scientist, “What?! You actually WERE a robot?!”
“Wait! Before you get mad, let me explain-”
“No, Rick! No!” tears welled up in the boy's eyes and he hugged himself, “I - I - I thought… I thought… y - y - y - y - you-”
“I did it because I’m only hurting you and the rest of the family!” the scientist cut in, making the boy go quiet, “When you said all that shit on the asteroid, I realized, I - I - I can’t heal myself fast enough to not lose you, Morty. I’ve done so much fucking terrible shit to you - you and everyone else. For god’s sake, I cloned your mother and played - did a switcheroo game with her! I’m afraid I can’t change, Morty. So I created a robot that would be a better dad, grandpa, and father-in-law than I could ever be. All that shit with Rick Prime? I thought I couldn’t get better until I took care of that. I didn’t want to drag you down with me, so I replaced myself. But now, now that I know what - what you feel, I realize, that isn’t the right way. I can only g - get better by focusing on what's important now, and I need to let go of the past. I shouldn’t have - I shouldn’t have replaced myself with a robot, that was fucked up of me. I was angry at myself for lying to you in the past and tried to - and attempted to fix it by lying to you more. I understand if what I did is a deal breaker. If I were in your position, I don’t think I could ever stand me.”
Thoughts swirled chaotically in Morty’s brain as he took in Rick’s words. The man’s eyes looked tired, sad and defeated. The teen’s gut told him that he was being genuine, dead serious. He felt stumped and speechless, not sure how to respond.
“Just know that… know that I love - love you, junebug.”
Morty’s brain booted back up as the scientist turned and began to walk towards the bedroom door. “Wait!” he shouted, quickly running forward and grabbing his wrist. Rick looked at him in surprise, halting to hear what the boy had to say.
“What - What you did was fucked up, Rick. And - and I’m very mad at you for it. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to be - be with you still. It’s been a difficult road with you, but I walked that road with you. I know you’re trying and you’re trying to do - do what's right. I need some time to get over the ro - robot thing, but the fact you were honest instead of just hi - hiding it, it makes me feel a bit better. Ri - Rick and Morty, a hundred years!”
Tears pricked the corners of Rick’s eyes as he turned toward the boy and took his small hands in his, “Rick and Morty, one hundred years.”