Chapter Text
Sin.
Beatrice has heard the word often enough. Not always in context of her… well.
Church talks a lot about it. The concept of it is easy. A sin is a rebellion against God. Sin is any action that harms the relationship anyone may have with God. It is choosing to act in a way that pulls away from Him, a wrong doing that will mostly lead you straight to hell. Or gay, depends on the person, really.
Beatrice cringes away from that thought, Ava’s rubbing off on her, really.
The word has been used against her too, though. Her family has said it, when they found out. The church said it, telling her parents they could heal her.
And though her friends try to tell her what she is isn’t a sin punishable by suffering eternal flames of hell, she’s not really accepting that yet.
Mentally, as well as physically. She knows Ava loves women as much as men. God, she knows the woman too well for comfort.
As a matter of fact, sometimes she surprises them both with the knowledge she has of her. And that after only a little less than three months.
That is why she recoils from the woman more often than not. She cannot stand the thought of wanting her and Ava is oh so affectionate. Touch is the way she talks, it seems and it eats Beatrice alive. To see Ava, this soft, caring woman, this ball of energy, flinch away like she was hit when ever Beatrice doesn’t accept her touch. It gives her the feeling of sinning all over again. How could this be wrong? She finds herself wondering sometimes. How can it be wrong, when Ava is able to do it? How can it be wrong when Ava’s touch makes her feel like a flower ready to bloom?
Sometimes, when they train, the tension between them is veritably palpable. She feels it skin her alive, her body ablaze under Ava’s ever searching eyes. Usually she manages until training is over before she rushes to her whereabouts and lets herself breathe. When she’s feeling particularly gracious on a good day, she even lets herself wonder and dream. Until now, no one has noticed. Which is great. She can’t let them know.
Her mediation is rudely interrupted by a brunette entering her room.
“Holy shit, Bee, here you are-”
Her eyes stay closed, not even bothering. This is a different Ava, to when actual danger would await.
“Language, you’re in a house of god.”
“Lilith doesn’t seem to care.” Ava mutters.
Now that’s interesting, Beatrice thought the feud between them all was over and done for. One of her eyes open up a tiny slit. “What have you done this time?”
“Hey, rude!” Ava exclaims. “I didn’t do shit.”
“Ava-” Beatrice sighs. No use trying to meditate now. Ava won’t leave.
“Mary says you’re always running away after training and Lilith blames me, that’s so uncalled for. Tell them you aren’t even running!”
With an opened mouth, Beatrice finds she almost loses balance. Regaining her coordination with her hands, she turns around to sit on the stone floor of her room. The candle light barely enough to even let Ava be more than a shape in her room.
There is a stretched silence between them, until Ava gulps.
“You haven’t… been running from me, have you?”
Her heart races against her breath, while she tries to stumble for an excuse, just anything to say.
“Beatrice?”
“That’s absurd!” She presses out, unable to do anything more.
“Are you hiding something from me?”
Ava’s voice sounds so fragile and hurt, Beatrice feels her heart break into a million pieces.
“I mean- I mean that’s obviously okay. You don’t have to tell me shit, I’m… I mean I’m just Ava. Oh shit, that sounds like I’m blaming you, I’m not, I promise-”
She gets so insecure at times, Beatrice can’t but feel her heart break for the woman in front of her.
They have both suffered religious trauma in such different ways.
“Ava.” Beatrice repeats. Way softer. Way more in love. At that Beatrice cringes again, however she mostly just ignores it, for the sake of Ava. God, her poor Ava.
“Come here-”
Ava’s figure still stands next to the closed door, leaning against it. “On the ground?”
Blinking, Beatrice stands up. “No, on the bed.”
There is another beat of silence, and then Ava snickers gently. “I usually go on a first date before that.”
Cold shame flushes through Beatrice’s body, as she notices what her words could be interpreted as. A sinner, that’s who she is, because another human being wouldn’t want right now. At any other times she probably wouldn’t have either. However, she feels her heart like every beat of a water drop falling onto a surface. Feels it rush in uneasy waves and secretly wishes they’d drown her.
“Heya, Bee. I’m sorry, I probably shouldn’t have said that- but don’t space out on me, that’s creepy.”
Breathing unevenly, she motions towards her bed. In a silent attempt to just shut her up. With dry lips she also goes to sit there, next to Ava, who has already jumped across the room.
The thing between her and Ava is that most of the time they can talk. Even if it’s Ava who does the talking, doesn’t matter to Beatrice. She likes Ava talking. Her friend comes alive under an audience listening to her, and when it’s just Beatrice, that attention is all on her. It’s like her body feeds from that. The attention, the silky tone of Ava’s voice when she sing-songs how she will absolutely… beat the shit… out of Lilith or even Mary for that matter. Or when she just talks, almost senseless at times. About dreams, hopes and wishes.
There is also this, between them. When Ava waits for Beatrice to take the first step, because she deems her duty done. The first week after Adriel’s attack they haven’t talked for almost a week, because Beatrice didn’t get what Ava had wanted from her. The day she finally understood was like finding water in a desert. Vanished was the starved feeling and that’s when she’d understood this part of Ava too.
Ava likes to be outgoing, and she likes to be the one continuing the conversation. But just as much does she like the effort put into a relationship. The equal part of it. And who was Beatrice to deny her such a thing?
Sighing, she musters up all the strength and bravery she can find. “I’m not really hiding something from you.”
She holds her head up high, breathing in deeply through her nose. Then she looks at Ava. Her first mistake.
The dim light of the candles, still glowing on her floor, illuminates Ava’s face. Glistering lips, very likely glossy, because Ava tends to wet them when she’s nervous. Almost making her loose her faith.
The same lips exhale softly. “But you do run away? From me?”
Is she really running away from Ava? Not rather from the thoughts surrounding the woman?
“Mary says you’re scared. Beatrice, what are you scared of?”
Yeah, what is she scared of? Irreversible punishment for her detrimental sins? Laughable.
“Beatrice, I worry about you. Day after day. Sometimes I feel like I loose you, and I know that’s stupid, Jesus… but-”
Then her second mistake.
“I’m a lesbian.”
Surprising them both. Beatrice’s breath goes rigid now, almost too low for comfort. The bed underneath her seems to move up and down, as her head swims, leaving her with a light headache.
“But Bee.” Ava says, oh so tender. “I know that, already.”
No words leave Beatrice’s mouth, as she still tries to not panic. Her heart leaves her body ice cold, unable to correctly perform. That’s why she finds her fingers in a death grip clenching her blanket, as Ava tries to struggle them free. Sighing, she gives up, and brings Beatrice’s hands, plus blanket, up to her mouth. Said lips ghost over Beatrice’s knuckles.
“I said it once, love. And I’ll say it as long as I can. What you are is beautiful. Who ever told you something else, is an asshole.”
“Language.” She croaks. Letting the blanket fall down from her burning hands. Which are still entwined with Ava’s, close to her full mouth still. She can’t look away. Couldn’t possibly be asked to. Ava’s feature shimmering in the lights off the candles, Beatrice is enamored, more so than before. Touch me, her body screams, touch me and never stop.
Vile, she is vile. Ripping her hands away from Ava, she whispers, “I never said it out loud, did I?”
“You’ve said enough.” Ava says, looking at her hands
It struck Beatrice in an intensity, it almost knocked her out. “You called me love.”
Speechless Ava is a spectacle she likes to see at times, this however? Isn’t it.
“I mean, yeah? Hahaha, was that wrong?” She sounds so unsure of herself all of the sudden, this time unbearably endearing. Wouldn’t it be for her tongue wetting her lips, Beatrice would’ve smiled. Now she just scoots away. Temptation, Ava is tempting her. Has been since she’s arrived.
The devil doesn’t come dressed in a red cape and pointy horns, he comes as everything you’ve ever wished for. She’s heard it before. Countless times.
“Bee, you are perfect. Just the way you are. I know that smart head of yours is overthinking again, just believe me for once, okay?”
Ava is confusing. Not only on a personal level. Beatrice has that much figured out. She was a gift send by heaven, so?
“Please, talk to me, I feel like I’m doing something terribly wrong here.”
“Weird, that’s what I was thinking. Ava tell me, how can you be the devil, when you’ve been blessed by angels?”
She can practically hear the confusion in Ava’s face. “I’m the- why would I be the devil?”
There is no way of knowing where the bravery comes from. Perhaps it’s stupidity. “You were blessed by the angels, Ava. So why do you come as everything I have ever wished for?”
The wheels turn in Ava’s head. Fast, it seems, cause her eyes widen. Beatrice feels her heart explode in fear. What has she done?
“You ran from me. You actually ran away from me. Lilith was right, oh Beatrice-”
Ava knows. The world still moves, mercilessly.
Her legs bounce up and down, and when she can’t handle the stress anymore she stands. “I’m sorry. You may leave. I never intended to-” Her voice breaks. “I’m going to leave you alone.”
Something she’s learned is how to handle stuff like this gracefully. How to obtain her dignity and how to keep standing. She’s been stupid, but she is willing to repent.
“Oh Bee-” Ava stands too, moving towards her. Flinching, Beatrice backtracks. This is the calm before the storm, isn’t it?
“Why are you so scared, love?” Her voice running like sweet, fresh honey. “God, you’ve been hurt before, but I swear, even if I’m the last person, I’ll always be right beside you.”
She hits the wall, the cold wall. It stabs into her back, like a thousand tiny needles. Yet she doesn’t cry, her eyes are as dry as ever.
“Did Lilith really chase you?” She breathes. For a short moment, Ava looks baffled, then she regains her cool and snickers.
“That’s what you want to focus on?” She asks, coming closer. “Yeah she has, like a madman. You didn’t come to eat, not even to pray afterwards. Last we saw you was at training, were I- in hindsight it should’ve been obvious, huh?”
At that, Beatrice feels herself blush. “What do you mean?”
“Why you ran.”
The cold in her back spreads through her entire body, her temperature changing drastically again. Her mind is racing, at the forefront is pictures of them training, all the times her skin has tingled, because Ava has touched her, all the times she’s caught herself mindlessly staring, even if it had just been a mere second. Her neck flushes, perhaps because Ava noticed. She hasn’t felt so out of control in years and it leaves her almost mad. Ava knows her desires, must’ve seen them too. Otherwise she wouldn’t know why she ran, would she?
“I’m sorry, Ava.” It’s a testament of her willpower, that she continues to stay exactly where she is right now. All her insides scream at her to run. She however, holds her head up high again, and stays. Pressed against the coldness.
“You have nothing to be sorry for, Beatrice.” Ava whispers in between the small space that is still left. “How are you feeling right now?”
Carefully she lifts her head and leans it against the wall, away from Ava and backstabbing thoughts. “Filthy.” She mutters. Ava sighs, resting a hand against the wall next to Beatrice’s head. “But also confused.”
She swallows. Still not changing the position of her head again though. It can stay that way. Away from Ava and her sinful pull. Looking at her hand is enough already.
“Why confused?”
“Because you confuse me, Ava.” She explodes, her entire body facing Ava again. “Day and night, you confuse me. When you as much as breathe you leave me a mess, and I have never- I have always been able to just forget, tuck it away. But you find a way to creep into my brain all the time. I’ve been taught these thoughts are descendant from hell, so why are you literally a present from god?”
“What do you think?”
This is so Ava, Beatrice can’t help but laugh. “What do you mean, what do I think?
“What do you think I am? You see me as a present of god?” Ava cocks her head, looking slightly off balance. “Bee, I am no such thing. I am human, and I have a weird ancient thing stuck in my back. That’s all there is to it. I’m not inherently evil or good for that matter, I just am. I’m also not some devil in disguise.”
Beatrice doesn’t know what could possibly be said right now so all she does is shut her mouth.
In front of her, Ava’s eyes shimmer lightly, barely noticeable in the dark. “I miss you, Beatrice. You’ve been so distant lately. Always avoiding me.”
She must look like a fish struggling for breath on land, glad for the nights darkness, so Ava doesn’t have to witness this.
“I mean, I guess now I know why, so that’s nice.”
It takes everything she has, to keep her legs from not failing her. She’s still not fully comprehending that Ava knows, must know.
There is a hand on her shoulder. “Hey. I don’t say all that to make you panic. Actually I’m trying for the opposite. Help me out a bit? What are you thinking right now, and be brutally honest with me.”
Be honest? She could try, if her throat could stop suffocating her, that is. “Ava, I-” She stops and collects herself. “Hug me, please?”
Usually Ava tends to be the needy one, the one always seeking approval in whatever way she pleases, right now though? All Beatrice wants is to let herself be held and be at the receiving end for once. Damnation be damned, literally.
The hand on her shoulder pushes her with a little force, letting her stumble away from the walls and right into Ava’s welcoming arms.
“I’ve got you. I’ll always have you. You’re so strong, Bee and I think most of the times you don’t even notice.”
If she’s strong, why is she cuddling up to Ava and breathing her in, like it’s the last time she gets a chance to? Why is her heart beating as if she just came from training and why is her stomach heating up as if someone lit a fire in there?
“Lilith called me the oblivious one here, Bee. You bet your ass I’m gonna tease her until her last breath with how wrong she was.”
“What?” She’s so beyond herself, she doesn’t really register Ava’s words any longer.
A hand finds hers. Calloused and yet soft. “Trust me?”
Ava’s chest rumbles and leaves Beatrice’s body flushed and shivering. “Yes.”
The hand, Ava’s hand, guides her through the dark, onto a place she did surely not expect. Her breath stops as soon as her hand sits above Ava’s breast, where her heart is.
The others heart runs and as soon as Beatrice registers that, she feels her own picking up speed as well. She’s pretty sure they’re matching.
It’s so alluring, she doesn’t even notice Ava’s hand leaving hers and traveling to her hips, trailing down in a delicate path, she only feels because wherever Ava’s hand has been are flames, burning her sensitive skin. It’s an invite, she recognizes it as such, and her breath hitches. This can’t be.
“Don’t panic on me now, Beatrice. I’m begging.”
Her head still rests on Ava’s shoulder, and she mouths along the lines of her friends collarbone. “Actually, I have been panicking since we trained, thanks for noticing.”
“Don’t blame me, you’re pretty good at hiding it- hey are you teasing me again?” Ava’s hand grips her hip a little harder, and as embarrassed as she is about it, she jerks at the movement.
“Hard not to, considering the position we’re in.” Beatrice replies.
“Are you… feeling less stressed about it then before, at least?” Ava tries cautiously.
“Yes and no.” Beatrice says truthfully, seeing no point in lying. “You tempt me Ava. I have been taught my entire life how wrong this is, do you think this is just going to go away? But they’ve told me about the evil ways of those who tempt you, warned me about their mischievous eyes, trying to make you trust them, so tell me, how could this be you?”
Ava’s thumb starts rubbing up and down her hip, gliding under her nightwear. Leaving her stuttering for breath.
“Yeah, how could that be me? I mean I’m basically Jesus reincarnated, how could you not worship me?”
The hand Beatrice still has above Ava’s heart grips tighter. “Don’t get cocky.”
“How could I not? I have you in my arms right now.”
The world around Beatrice screeches to a halt. Is Ava totally serious about this? While a part of her says; she better be, another wishes she was not. That they could go back to what they’ve been before. What have they been before?
“I can hear your thoughts, love. I swear I’m not kidding.”
Beatrice’s mind keeps racing, the air to breathe in her room suddenly seems too less. She breaks away from Ava, needing space to collect herself again.
“I’m scared.”
“I know.”
“I can’t lose you.”
“You won’t.”
“I need you.”
She shrinks away from her blatant admission, hoping Ava won’t hear the desperation behind it.
The woman has other plans though, as she takes Beatrice’s hands and guides her towards the bed again. She lets herself be taken, lets herself be pushed. And when Ava goes around the bed to lie down next her, throwing an arm over her stomach and resting her head close to her ears, she knows there is no coming back, ever again.
“You have me. You’ve always had me.”
A sob escapes her mouth. No tears, just a wet sounding gulp.
“I have always wondered why some see this as wrong.”
“Me cuddling with you?”
“Don’t play dumb.” Beatrice says strictly.
“Yeah well,” Ava sits up and smiles down at Beatrice, somehow that smile leaves her uneasy. “I have always wondered too-”
Fast, Ava turns around, straddling her. “They just probably never tried it.”
Beatrice gasps, and then holds her mouth still with her hand. What is happening?
“Have you?”
“Have I what?” Beatrice mumbles.
Grinning, Ava leans down. “Tried it.”
“You absolutely must know I have not.” She grits out.
“Well me neither. Not with another woman, that is.”
Ava lets herself fall down on Beatrice, who huffs under her weight. “You will be my first.”
Another sound leaves Beatrice’s mouth. “Ava-”
“Not now. Not as long as you aren’t ready, of course. But I mean it, you have me, and I’ll wait for you.”
All Beatrice can do is look starstruck at the girls head, that is still laying in the crook of her neck. Her hands tracing mindless patterns onto Beatrice’s skin.
“Ava-” She repeats. What if she’s never ready?
“Beatrice, you mean the world to me. I will not leave you alone, I swear.”
She’s practically showering Beatrice in compliments, and she isn’t sure how much more she can take before she combusts.
“That almost sounds like a threat, don’t you think?” Beatrice tries to lighten the mood. A mood that’s new for her, so she gives it her all to find a way out, before she does something stupid, something she can’t take back.
“If you want it to sound like a threat.” Ava mumbles, voice dripping of sleep. “I swear Lilith made me tired, she’s a menace.”
“You think she’s still searching for you?”
“God, I hope not, that would be scary.” Ava shivers, which Beatrice feels through her entire body.
“Ava?” She begins, swallowing down the big lump in her throat. The woman hick-ups to let her know she listens.
“You mean the world to me too.”
The morning starts with a pile of hair in her mouth. It isn’t her own. Spitting it out, she tries to make sense of what’s happening. She’s not usually as senseless in the mornings, however normally she doesn’t wake up with another person on top of her. And oh god, they really lay spread out over her body. A hand next to Beatrice’s head, a foot where her knee is and the other where her own foot lies.
They smell like vanilla and Beatrice suddenly realizes who it is.
Ava. In a swell all the memories come back, and god how could she have forgotten the embarrassment that was yesterday, even for just a few seconds?
Heedfully does she shove the hair away. Ava breathes deeply through her opened mouth, a little bit of drool accumulates around the corner of her mouth.
Sweet, dare Beatrice think. She’s almost inclined to stay right where she is, had she not misses the prayer last evening. Groaning in defeat, she at least tries to wake Ava up. Though, she is a heavy sleeper.
“Please Ava, come on. Wake up.” She begs loud enough.
She’s pretty sure if she doesn’t show up for their morning prayers, they will look for her, and she’s not down for being seen like this.
She shoves the body lying on her, which is heavy, she notes. Good lord, Ava’s sleeping body won’t butch.
“See the thing is you don’t really want me gone.”
Ava’s voice almost gives her a heart-attack. Since when has she been awake?
“Ava, Jesus!”
“Is this the lords name I hear in vain?” Ava mumbles against her neck.
She registers, in shock, that her neck starts to feel a little wet. “Ew, Ava. Don’t drool on my neck. That’s the last time I’m sleeping next to you.”
“Aww shucks, it felt so good too.” Ava grins, before she lifts her head. “Good morning to you too, beautiful.”
Suddenly Beatrice is very aware of her breathing pattern, and how her head starts to feel mushy. “Ava!”
“See, you always give me a good reason to keep teasing you.”
“Get off me, you klutz.” Beatrice splutters indignant.
Sensing, that Beatrice is serious somehow, Ava actually complies. The shit eating grin on her face doesn’t disappear though.
“Why are you still grinning like this?” Beatrice wonders.
Ava’s smile falters a bit and her brow furrows. She’s thinking, Beatrice guesses.
“Well for one, we just slept together, entwined, the entire night. I missed you, Bee. Let a girl smile.”
“I’ve been next to you the entire time.” Beatrice says silently.
Ava just nods. “Yeah but you shied away from me, since weeks. I felt so alone without you. Knowing why somehow makes it easier, but-”
Beatrice feels her mouth going dry. No way had she intended to make Ava feel this way. She rushes up next to her and takes her hands between hers, despite her inner turmoil.
“I am so sorry, Ava. I have never meant to hurt you-”
“It’s fine, Bee, really.” she tiptoes a little and gives Beatrice a chaste kiss on her cheek. “Besides, I got you now, more than ever before. Ready yourself sister, Jesus awaits you.”
Blinking a few times, Beatrice barely notices Ava jumping out of her room. Her hand lingers on the cheek Ava’s kissed. This woman will be the death of her.
“Good morning, allerseits.” Ava screeches, as she takes place between Lilith and Camila. Beatrice smirks down into her plate, as she sees Lilith’s death stare.
“You’ve been working on your German!” Camila notes cheerfully, completely unaware of Lilith’s mental state. She looks almost ready to murder.
“Ja, ja, immer doch.” Ava says between a few bites of breakfast. Beatrice is pretty sure there is smoke exiting Lilith’s ears.
“You are a complete and utter fool.” She says as if it’s just another fact.
“Danke, Lilith.”
“Don’t be such a pain in the ass, baby halo.” Mary smiles lopsided towards the never resting brunette. “Some of us want to eat in peace.”
“Well I think it’s impressive, her language skills are immaculate.” Camila notes.
“See, someone appreciates me.” Ava mumbles, mouth full.
“Close your mouth, Ava.” Beatrice reminds her.
“You’ve been staring?”
She hasn’t choked like this in a long time. In fact, Mary even has to help her out a bit, otherwise she’d be suffocating.
“Ava, so help me god.” She manages after a few minutes.
She feels Mary’s searing eyes in her back and ignores them mostly.
“Something has changed.” Mary says, as soon as they are walking towards the training fields. “Will you tell me?”
Sighing, Beatrice keeps on her way. “One day, I might.”
It’s evening, and had Beatrice thought that she would get a few seconds for just herself, she’s been wrong.
Someone enters her room, again.
“Ava, what is it?” She tries to keep herself calm. It’s not like the other woman knows she’s trying to pray twice this evening.
“Uh, it’s Camila, but if you wait for Ava, I can leave?”
At that Beatrice jumps up. In complete shock she turns around.
“Oh my, sorry Camila. I didn’t expect you- I mean I didn’t expect anyone-”
She’s making a fool out of herself.
Breathe in, breathe out. “You’re obviously welcomed. What is it you wish to talk to me about?”
“It’s definitely nothing formal.” Camila utters.
They’ve become friends, Beatrice is aware. Pretty close even. Sometimes she just still catches herself in her old manners.
“So uh, what are you here for?”
Camila walks around her room. “Just to talk. The past few months have been something, huh?”
“Yeah, I guess?” Beatrice is still unsure of what is happening.
“Ava’s got strong, didn’t she? You think she is ready to face Adriel?”
A thought that has left Beatrice breathless many times.
“No!” She says with such a force, even she is surprised by herself. Camila and her look at each other in silence for a while, her friend watching her in full intent to figure her out.
“I can’t lose her.” She simply says. The safest option.
“You love her.” Camila replies as if it was the easiest thing.
“I… what? That’s stupid, I’m not in love with her!”
“I didn’t say you were.” Camila cocks her head. “Beatrice?”
What is it with all of them trying to put her off track the past couple days? She’s known since years where she intended to go, and now?
“What, Camila.” In a voice that leaves absolutely no leeway.
It might’ve worked months ago, when Camila had been new, but now?
“There is no shame in liking Ava, Bea.” She stalks towards Beatrice and takes her hand. “We all love you. So much.”
“How can there be no shame in it, Camila?” Beatrice all but whispers.
“The god I pray to created you the way you are intended to be. He loves you, Bea, just as much as we do. Also I didn’t have you read that lesbian warrior nuns entry to Ava for nothing, give me an A for effort for once.”
Beatrice eyes become huge. “You… what.”
The other woman’s face shines bright, as she smiles. “Yeah, it was a pain finding it. Appreciate me.”
“I?” Beatrice starts, doesn’t find it in herself to finish though. So she just doesn’t and shakes her head in disbelief.
“I know you have been raised a certain way, and while I don’t agree with most of it- I figured it’s not really my place to say something. But this is actually not why I am here.”
“It’s not?” Beatrice asks startled. Had you asked her, she would’ve thought that’s exactly why Camila is here.
“We got messages. Adriel is getting stronger day by day, his followers growing rapidly. He will find us sooner rather than later and with that also Ava.”
Beatrice couldn’t even begin to explain what she feels in this moment. Her eyes widen. “And that means what?”
She knows, it’s inevitable but perhaps Camila will surprise her-
“We have to go into hiding. Especially Ava. I mean I know she isn’t ready, but I thought, when Mother Superion asked me, you are the more experienced one and you know her. So I thought perhaps she was. It was worth an ask.”
“She isn’t ready.” Beatrice says fiercely. In her heart she knows she’ll never find Ava ready.
The last few months haven’t exactly been peaceful, the threat of Adriel always in the back of their minds, but they also haven’t been all too stressed. They’ve continued with their routine just as they’ve had before. The occasional fight, the training, the praying. Ava is just a new, comforting addition that Beatrice finds quite thrilling, to her demise. Over the past months she has found peace in a comfortable lie.
Time.
Time they didn’t have but Beatrice wanted to, so for once she gave into that lie and now she has to face the consequences of it. The sheer heartbreak it causes- and honestly she shouldn’t be so surprised, it has been clear as day.
Camila considered her quickly before smiling again. “I know she isn’t. For you are her trainer, she is to go into hiding with you. The next days will be about where the best place will be. For all of us. It’s all going to be fine, Beatrice. Just you wait.”
Beatrice musters up a crooked smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes.
“You’ve grown a lot, Camila. I can barely see who you’ve been a few months ago.”
“I’ll just take that as a compliment-” Camila says awkwardly.
“I sure hope you do. It was one.” She now smiles fully and truthfully. “You are one of us, and I’m happy I get to call you that.”
“I’m happy too, Bea. And I hope one day you notice how much we all love you for everything you are.”
While Camila leaves, she finds herself sitting on her bed silently hoping, no wishing, for that too.