Chapter Text
Nathan didn’t want to eat the heart.
It sat there glistening on the ground, surrounded by the blood and skin and guts and bits of Annalise’s father.
Annalise, who was still shaking on the ground next to him, who killed her father to save his life when he had just killed her cousin the day before.
He could feel them looking at him, though. Annalise’s eyes were still wet with tears but her gaze burned, he could feel it on his cheek, hotter than a flame.
Gabriel’s eyes were the opposite, but carried no less weight. Even after all they had seen, all the bodies they had left behind them in Wolfhagen, the scraps of the man that lay before them, Gabriel had remained cool, eyes dry, urging them both forward. And now Nathan felt him urging him forward again.
“I’m not–” Nathan couldn’t find his voice. He wiped a hand down his face but only succeeded in smearing the blood around more. “I’m not going to.”
He couldn’t bring himself to say the words out loud.
“Nathan…” Gabriel’s voice was gentle. He was sitting next to Annalise, rubbing her back as the sobs raked through her body.
Annalise’s voice was not gentle.
“You have to.” She sat up and wiped her face. She hadn’t been close to Soul when… her hands were clean. Not like Nathan’s. “You have to, Nathan.”
She breathed deep and reached for his hand, gripping him tight. “My da–Soul, he killed all those people, he stole their powers, stole their lives. If you don’t, then their gifts will just be gone, it’ll be like Bette, they’ll just be gone forever.”
Nathan couldn’t breathe. He brought his hands up to his face, pushed his fists into his eyes, bundled his knees to his chest. Because he remembered Bette. Kind, loving, wise, Bette who let them into her home and gave them food and a place to sleep and they repaid her by leading murderers to her family’s door.
Gabriel reached across Annalise and grabbed one of Nathan’s wrists, gently pulling it from his eye.
“Nathan.” He breathed out, as though thinking of his words. “You can do this. We’ll be right here.”
But Nathan shook his head. No , he didn’t want them watching him do this, he couldn’t bear to have them, the two people he loved most in the world, watch him do this disgusting thing.
“No.” Nathan pulled his hand free of Gabriel’s grip, stood up from Annalise’s side. He shoved his hand in his pockets and kept his gaze on the ground, still littered with body parts. “You two go on. I’ll catch up.”
Annalise and Gabriel seemed to have a silent conversation with their eyes but they eventually stood, Annalise still leaning on Gabriel’s side. As they passed, Annalise ran a hand down Nathan’s arm, as though passing on her strength.
Nathan listened as their footsteps faded and waited even longer until he couldn’t hear their heartbeats anymore, either.
And then Nathan reached down and picked up Soul’s heart.
–
When Nathan emerged from the forest, he could see Annalise standing by Wolfhagen, gazing out at the street. As he got closer, Nathan could make out Gabriel’s figure, sitting in the driver’s seat of a small black car, messing with something on the dashboard.
Nathan stepped on the gravel of the driveway and Annalise turned at the sound. He watched her search his eyes, as though looking for some piece of her father, but he blinked and she seemed to snap out of it. She stepped towards Nathan, wrapping him in a tight hug. It took him a moment, but Nathan returned it, his hands resting gently on her lower back.
“Hey, very touching moment you two, but we need to go.” With a touch of two wires, Gabriel brought the car to life and waved for Annalise and Nathan to pile in.
“Where are we going?” Nathan asked, as he pulled his seatbelt on. He had gotten shotgun, and Annalise was sitting behind Gabriel’s seat.
“Right now?” Gabriel looked over at him as he began backing the car out of the driveaway. “To get some clean clothes, hopefully some food. And vodka. After that, I’m not so sure.”
Nathan nodded. He trusted Gabriel to get them someplace safe and his stomach was still turning itself over. Nathan shifted in his seat and leaned his head against the window. The cool glass and the rumble of the earth under the tires was calming enough to ease him into a light sleep.
–
When Nathan awoke, Gabriel was gently shaking his shoulder. Nathan sat up and looked around. They had parked in a hotel. Night had fallen and most of the parking spots were empty but–
“Where’s Annalise? Gabriel–” Nathan jerked toward the door, scrambling to get it unlocked.
“Hey, hey, it’s ok!” Gabriel was holding up two hands, as if Nathan was a scared horse. “She’s inside, getting us a room. She had the least blood on her, so we figured she was the best choice.”
Nathan breathed out and nodded and Gabriel gave him a small smile. “How are you feeling?”
Nathan paused for a moment. His stomach still felt weird. It didn’t hurt exactly, nor was he nauseous, but it was like it was churning or something. He also couldn’t focus on anything. Now that he was awake, he was struggling to stay still. Even as he answered Gabriel, his fingers were tapping out a pattern on his thigh. “I don’t know. Weird.”
“Weird. Very eloquent.” Gabriel scoffed. He reached out and placed a hand on Nathan’s forehead. “You’re burning up.”
“Is that normal, for a heart eater?”
Gabriel raised his eyebrow. “How should I know?”
Nathan shrugged. He was used to Gabriel having all the answers but he was right. Nathan should have asked Bette, hell, he should have asked his father, though maybe that would have been pushing his luck.
Annalise exited the hotel lobby and walked briskly toward them, swinging a set of keys in her right hand.
“Okay, let’s go, boys.” She gestured for them to follow her, down and around the corner of the building, through a side entrance, and up the first flight of stairs.
“Wow, first floor, how luxurious.” Gabriel’s voice broke the silence of the night, followed by the jingle of keys as Annalise unlocked the door.
“Only the best for you, Gabe.” Annalise retorted. She opened the door with a flourish, revealing what was certainly a hotel room. The carpets were mustard yellow, the walls were salmon pink, and the ceiling was covered in the disgusting popcorn texture. The lone double bed was covered in a dark red comforter, with off white towels folded by the foot.
“No, no. Gabe doesn’t know three languages and how to style around white hair. My name is Gabriel.” He exaggerated the French accent on his name, drawing out the last two syllables.
“Oh, I’m sorry, did that strike a nerve for you, Gabbie?” Annalise leaned toward him.
“Not at all, Annie.”
Nathan laughed as Annalise threw the keys at Gabriel. It almost felt like the last four hours didn’t happen, like before when they had first left Paris and nobody had died yet and–
“Nathan, do you want to take the first shower? I can order some takeaway, are you ok with Chinese?”
Nathan nodded and carried one of the towels to the bathroom. Setting his new knife on the bathroom counter, he began to undress before realizing it was pointless, and climbed into the shower fully clothed.
He kept his eyes closed as the water washed over him. He didn’t want to watch the spray run red.
After what felt like hours, Nathan dared to open his eyes and was only met with a slight pink tinge to the water. He removed his sopping clothes, rinsed them out again and then hung them over the shower rod to dry. He made quick work of the rest of his shower, using up only a small portion of the free toiletries so that there would be enough left for the others.
Annalise was just closing the front door when Nathan emerged from the bathroom, towel tied around his waist as his clothes were still soaked. Gabriel stood from his seat at the foot of the bed, removing his holsters before entering the bathroom.
Nathan sat on the bed and pulled the comforter around his shoulders while Annalise unpacked the food and handed him a container.
“Annalise.” Their eyes met when she looked up at him but Nathan didn’t know why he said her name, what he wanted to say. She just gave him a small smile before sitting next to him on the bed, chopsticks digging into her container of noodles.
“I don’t regret it, you know.” She said after several bites. Her tone was casual, as if she was trying not to make a big deal of it, but Nathan could see her hands shaking. “It was you or him and he left me no choice. He was going to kill you, Nathan, and I couldn’t–” Nathan dropped his closed container on the bed, making room for Annalise to lean her head on his shoulder. He stroked her hair as she cried again, silent sobs shaking her frame. With a final sigh, Annalise sat back again, though she didn’t pick up her food. Instead, they both sat there unmoving until Gabriel emerged from the bathroom, white hair glistening on his forehead.
“Oh wow, you two actually have manners. You didn’t have to wait for me, though, really, eat.”
Nathan looked down at his container of noodles and felt his stomach churn again. He should be hungry, he hadn’t eaten since that morning and it was close to midnight but he couldn’t bring himself to even lift his chopsticks, let alone take a bite.
Annalise also seemed to be struggling. Gabriel sighed and sat across from them both, retrieving his own container of food before opening Nathan’s and Annalise’s.
“Here, on three, we will each take a bite. Ok? One, two, three.”
Nathan took a small bite of his noodles. They were salty and savory and he finally felt hunger.
“One, two, three.” Gabriel counted again. They all chewed in silence.
“One, two, three.” Except this time, Nathan didn’t only get noodles in his bite. There was a small piece of meat, chicken, or maybe duck, he didn’t know because he couldn’t keep it down long enough to find out. Lurching out of bed, Nathan barely made it to the bathroom in time to vomit into the toilet.
Nathan heard Gabriel step up behind him, patting his hair and holding out a glass of water. Nathan sat back and leaned against the bathroom wall while Gabriel quickly peered into the toilet before flushing it.
“Only the noodles, at least.” He gave Nathan a small smile that looked more like a grimace.
Right. If Nathan barfed up the heart, would he still get the gifts? Or did he have to fully digest it for it work? He leaned his head back against the wall again and closed his eyes.
“I reckon I’ll wait to eat again until breakfast, just in case.”
Gabriel helped him up and placed the complimentary toothpaste in his hand. “No toothbrush, but it’s better than nothing.”
Nathan nodded and Gabriel returned to the bed, where Annalise was watching them. Nathan gave her a small smile before closing the door. He’d wait in the bathroom until they were done eating, just in case.
–
After dinner and after Annalise had showered, they all stood in a circle around the bed. Annalise was hugging her arms to herself and Gabriel was running his hands through his hair, still slightly damp from his shower.
The other two were hesitating but this, Nathan actually felt ok with. He climbed onto the center of the bed, his head resting on the edges of the two pillows and pulled the blankets up over his shoulders. He lifted the edges on either side, inviting Annalise to lie on his left and Gabriel on his right.
Even though so much blood shed had followed it, that night sleeping at the Blood coven’s farm house, secured with Annalise and Gabriel on either side of him, Nathan had never slept so well and he was anxious to get that kind of rest again.
Annalise gingerly climbed in next to him, pulling the blankets up to her shoulders and grabbing Nathan’s hand and resting her head on the pillow. Gabriel did the same, as he reached for Nathan’s left hand and curled in towards him, close enough that Nathan could feel his breath on his neck.
With their heartbeats as his lullaby, Nathan fell asleep.