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~"He loved you, you know." Mikey said, staring at the makeshift gravestone that he and Wakasa had made. The sun was just starting to set and Wakasa could see his breath turn into chilly air. "He said that sometimes, he thought he was born just for you."
If you loved me then why did you never say anything? Were you afraid that I didn’t think the same?
Idiot!
Wakasa's voice was stuck in his throat. He wasn't able to speak ever since he saw Shinichiro give his life only to push the White Leopard away from being bitten.
The grave had no body, the actual body was somewhere lingering around, eating human flesh.
It hurt Wakasa to think about it even though that was the only thought he’s had on his mind for the past week.
“I would tell him, ‘idiot, you’re the one that helped him out and brought him into Black Dragons. He was born to meet you.” Wakasa could only wonder how Mikey was feeling about all of this. Not to mention, Izana and Emma as well.
How were they coping with the fact that Shinichiro’s best friend (lover) had lived but their older brother hadn’t?
Sure, they had their own people to talk to, Emma had Draken, Izana had Kakucho, and Mikey had Takemichi, but their respective friends (in Emma’s and Izana’s case, significant other) would probably never be able to replace Shinichiro’s energy.
And it was all Wakasa’s fault.
Why… why did the world go to shit?! Why did the government have to fuck up and start this zombie apocalypse?! Wakasa had only thought that those kind of things were only in movies!
“Takemitchy and Ken-chin had to hold me back from hurting you when you got back.” Mikey went on. “They said that you were the next leader for us even if technically Izana or I should be if we’re going by gang leaders. ‘If I killed you, then our whole group would go into chaos’ was what they said.”
Wakasa wouldn’t blame Mikey for killing him. It was his fault anyways for killing their original leader.
He crossed his arms, trying to keep in whatever limited warmth of his body that he barely had.
I just… wish that I could tell him. I wish I could tell him that I love him.
When Shinichiro pushed Wakasa away, the dirty white sleeve that the latter had grabbed in desperation, had ripped.
It was the only thing that Wakasa had left of him, the faint smell of Axe male perfumes still potent.
Wakasa still remembered the conversation that led to that distinct smell.
“We’re raiding the mall for food and I find you here at the perfume section?” Wakasa asked, lugging a large tote bag of canned perishables while Shinichiro was spraying fragrances on himself.
The former Black Dragons leader pouted.
“When was the last time we had a bath, Waka? I’m doing this for the benefit of all of us.” He said, purposefully spraying a bottle all over his shirt.
Wakasa covered his nose.
“At least could you not spray Axe of all of these perfumes? It’s the worst one here.” He complained.
Shinichiro smiled.
“One day, when this is all over, you’ll smell this and it’ll reek of nostalgia. I promise you.”
It reeked of nostalgia but not for the right reason.
Wakasa put the dirty sleeve near his nose again and took a small whiff.
“If he were here, he wouldn’t want us to be sulking. He would want us to move on. Even though I really don’t want to, I think it’s best that we do.” Mikey said.
Since when was /Mikey/ the voice of reason? Wakasa blamed the ‘gang leader’ genes that ran in the family.
“We need you, whether you like it or not. Shin would hate it if you grieve for him for too long. He told me the same thing when our Mother died.” Mikey avoided Wakasa’s glance.
Would it be that easy? Wakasa still couldn’t speak. He was once a gang leader as well but that was at his prime.
Now, he’s just a twenty four year old that felt like he was seventy with all the shit he’s been through.
Wakasa still didn’t speak, (he couldn’t even if he tried) but he gave Mikey a small smile.
(It was a pained one, but no one needed to know that.)
(Even though Mikey knew because that’s a smile he’s been doing for years.)
Wakasa nodded, and that was all Mikey needed to see. He tugged on Wakasa’s jacket.
“C’mon, we should get to the warehouse soon. It’s getting colder and colder by the day.”
The emptiness of Wakasa’s heart will never go away, but maybe it could get filled up with the group that he’s grown to care for.
Just a little.
卍
Gasping for breath, Shinichiro leaned on an abandoned building. His skin had turned slightly green and he now had the ability to see in the dark.
Being half zombie did those things to you unfortunately.
But, it gave him an advantage. Since sleep wasn’t a weakness anymore, he could catch up with his family, with Wakasa as soon as he could.
“I promise. I’ll go to the ends of the Earth to find you, Wakasa. So don’t die on me ok?”