Work Text:
I’m pretty sure we almost broke up last night, I threw my phone across the room at you.
“Well, that’s certainly interesting,” Kitay muses, pouring more iced tea into Rin’s glass. Personally, she would’ve preferred alcohol, but Kitay had since implemented a no-drinking in his apartment rule after she’d moved out because of a stupid incident that involved Rin, his copy of The Art of War, the smoke detector, unattended matches, and lots and lots of tequila.
She still thinks the rule is stupid, and she’s said so, but Kitay remains adamant about it, and she didn’t want to get on his bad side right now, too.
She knows she can go home to her apartment if she really wants a drink, but chances are, he’d be there, and Rin doesn’t think he can stomach the sight of her right now, or vice versa.
“You’re judging me,” Rin accuses, narrowing her eyes at Kitay, who simply raises his brows at her.
“I’m not judging you.”
“Yes, you are, don’t lie, you think I overreacted,” she grumbles petulantly, taking a sip from her drink.
“True, but I also kind of get why you did it. Weirdly enough.”
“You do?” Rin asks, half-suspicious, half-searching for vindication.
“Obviously. You’re my best friend, of course I understand why you do ridiculous shit.”
“It is not ridiculous.”
“Rin,” Kitay says, sporting that expression that’s a mix of exasperation and fondness he reserves just for her, “even you can admit that flinging a phone at his head knowing what you know is a tad bit… insane.”
“One, it was a broken phone, and two, he deserved it for being a dick.”
Kitay stifles a laugh, unfazed by Rin’s glare and rude gesture at him.
“He’s Nezha, he’s always being a dick.”
Point taken.
It got out of hand so quickly, Rin didn’t even have the time to process half of it. All she knew was that she was worried, scared, and most importantly, absolutely pissed off.
It was their anniversary—their very first, which meant Nezha wanted to go way over the top and go out to someplace fancy, making a reservation a month in advance. She’d protested, thinking it was stupid, but he’d begged and pleaded and wore her down until she agreed. He’d surprised her with a beautiful (and incredibly expensive, she lamented pointedly, in which he’d simply grinned and kissed her on the forehead as a response) dress to wear for the occasion. But on the day of, his father had called him to run a couple of errands for their office—they’re only in their fourth year of university, but Vaisra had been grooming him and his siblings to run their company their whole life, and so, of course, Nezha couldn’t say no.
They figured out an arrangement where Rin would just take a cab to the restaurant and wait for him to show up there before they ordered together.
He’d left at 11 in the morning.
She’d shown up at the restaurant at 6 in the evening, just in time for their reservation. She didn’t have her phone with her—the five-year-old, secondhand piece of shit died on her a couple of days ago and she hadn’t gotten around to buying a new one just yet, so Rin had nothing to do but sit alone on her table and watch other snobby rich people eat and side-eye her, with which she responded with an impressive glower of her own. Rin hated the extravagance of the restaurant’s atmosphere, the shitty chandeliers, the snooty live classical band, and the judgmental weight of the gaze of the average diner in their stupid overly expensive suits and cocktail dresses. Rin would really have rather just cooked something nice at home and put on a movie, but Nezha had insisted, and honestly, yes, it wouldn’t kill her to indulge him every once in a while.
So even though she’d felt completely out of her depth, and incredibly uncomfortable in her own skin in that fucking place, she waited.
Half an hour passed.
Then one.
No sign of Nezha. The waiter had given her a pitying look when he’d asked if her companion was near, and she’d said he’d be there any minute and thanked him for her sixth glass of service water as she watched the door with an irate expression.
She’d felt her temper flaring, humiliation setting in and burying itself deep into her chest and stomach.
That asshole.
He was the one who wanted to go out to this stupid place and waste his money. Now he has the fucking audacity to show up an hour late, jilting her for whatever the fuck his father wanted him to do at the office, because Lord knows he can put up a good fight with Rin, but if Vaisra orders him to do something, he doesn’t refuse. Nezha’s gotten better about it, but old habits die hard, and right now, Rin is feeling the full brunt of the consequences of that particular habit.
She was fuming in her seat, giving anyone who passed by a dirty look like it was their fault she was having a shitty night because of her shitty boyfriend.
Then another half hour passed.
And another.
By the two-hour mark, she’d burned past her anger. No, by that time, she was worried. Extremely fucking worried.
She’d never hated not having a phone more. Nezha was never this late, for anything. Not even Vaisra kept him in the office past 7:30 at night. He always made sure of that—as much as Rin despises him, his manners were honed to aristocratic, top 1% perfection, and he did care about Nezha’s education, even if it was only for the Yin reputation, making sure he always has ample amount of time to study and give his peak performance for subtle bragging rights amongst his business partners. And it didn’t take more than 30 minutes to drive to that place. This whole thing was extremely out-of-character of Nezha.
Something must have happened.
The thought struck her violently, a solid, ice-cold thing sliding down her spine.
Rin couldn’t sit still. She couldn’t stop glancing at the door, then back at her watch, the knot of worry in her stomach only tightening with every minute that ticked by.
In fact, she’d gotten so restless she’d asked the waiter if she could use the restaurant phone to give him a call. He’d acquiesced and led her to the backrooms. She’d dialed Nezha’s number with shaky hands, and tapped her foot as she willed him to answer.
It rang, and rang, and rang, but no one picked up.
She tried calling Kitay, who told her he thought Nezha was already at their dinner like he said he would be.
At that point, Rin was glad she didn’t order ahead and eat out of spite, otherwise, she might have vomited it all out.
By the third hour, she couldn’t take it anymore, decided to cut her losses, and tried to hold her shit together as she called a cab home. She might as well have a fucking freak-out in the comfort of her own apartment than in the middle of a restaurant she didn't even want to go to in the first place.
Still no sign of him at home, either.
No sign of him when she took a shower, heated the leftovers from their refrigerator only to leave it out to sit uneaten because she was too fucking anxious, and where the fuck is he?
The telltale creek of the front door came at 10 PM, making her freeze, and in came Nezha, looking more exhausted than she’s seen him before.
Rin gaped at him when he immediately approached her, grasping at her hands in an apologetic gesture.
Her first thought was he’s fine. He’s okay. Alive, no limbs missing, nothing bleeding.
Her second thought wasn’t really a thought. It was a lump forming in her throat as she tried to sort out through the overwhelming wave of what the fuck and holy shit wracking her whole body as he takes her face in his hands, mouth open to start what she thought was an apology.
She wrenched herself away, shocked and a little bit repulsed, an incessant ringing in her ears.
“You fucking prick ,” she seethed, her hands trembling at her sides.
His face fell even further. “Rin, look, I’m really, really sorry—”
“Yeah, you should be, you asshole,” Rin snapped at him, ignoring the burning at the back of her eyes, and the relief and anger and confusion and hurt all came crashing down on her at once, threatening to suffocate her.
“I know, and I am, Rin,” he tried again, stepping forward to touch her, but she flinched away. “I left a little later than usual, but I swear it was just a little past 5:45. And then I got stuck in a stand-still because there was an accident on the highway and I didn’t know until I was right in the fucking middle of it, and I wanted to call you but I remembered your phone was broken, so I was just stuck there in traffic, and then my phone died, and when I’d gotten to the restaurant you weren’t there anymore—”
“ Because I waited for three fucking hours! ” Rin says, her voice catching at the end. “I looked like a fucking idiot, you absolute dickhead!”
“I know, I know, I’m sorry,” he sighs defeatedly, running a hand through his already disheveled hair. Dimly, she registered the crumpled heap that was a bouquet he’d let fall by the doorstep. Red poppies. Her favorite. For some reason, that made her feel so much worse. “I’m so sorry I kept you waiting.”
She didn’t really care about that. But she wasn’t going to tell him that. Rin wanted the anger to win out over everything else she felt—otherwise she’ll burst into tears in front of him, and that would just be the cherry on top of the shitty sundae that was their first anniversary.
She wanted to cry and run into his arms and bury her face into his chest and feel his heartbeat.
She wanted to smooth out his expression and say she understood, that that stupid highway accident wasn’t his fault, it was just both of their rotten fucking luck that led to this disaster of a night.
She wanted to grab him by the shoulders and shake and curse him for making her so fucking sick with worry.
She wanted to smack him upside the head for not figuring out some way to reach her so she knew he was even still fucking alive.
In the end, she did none of those things. No, what she did do was grab her phone from the coffee table and threw it at his head.
It hit the wall with a loud thud, the screen cracking. He ducked, looking at her with wide, shocked hurt eyes, only snapping out of it when she’d grabbed her coat and stormed out of the front door, ignoring his pleading calls behind her.
And that was how she ended up at Kitay’s place, curled up on his sofa drinking iced tea at 2 AM, still seething and hating herself for how she reacted.
“I know it wasn’t his fault,” she says quietly, hiding half her face behind her glass so Kitay can’t see her expression, not that that made any difference. Kitay knows her better than anyone—she can’t get anything past him.
“Your reaction was over-the-top, but given your emotional constipation, it was probably predictable,” Kitay dodges her kick with a grin, “You were overwhelmed.”
“I am not emotionally fucking constipated.”
“Could’ve fooled me.”
“Shut up.”
“Rin,” he says, placing a gentle hand on her arm. “I love you more than anyone and anything. You know that. And that’s why I’m going to tell you, you’re acting like a fucking moron right now.”
She huffs in indignation, opening her mouth for a retort, then meeting Kitay’s eye and deflating.
She’s a hundred percent aware that she fucked up—after that fucking disaster, she should have done the mature thing and just let it go, let Nezha rest, and celebrate on another day.
But she wasn’t mature. Kitay knew that. Nezha knew that. Her emotions got the best of her like they always fucking did, and it made everything a million times worse.
The guilt she’d suppressed for the entire travel to Kitay’s apartment is now bubbling up in her chest, threatening to crush it inwards. She’d always been a little too much for people to handle—she knows that. She had to be—she had to be ruthless and on guard at all times, because unlike the people around her, she had something to prove, she had a place to earn. It was not a desire, it was a necessity. She needed to fend for herself and be cutthroat because no one else will do it for her. And if people couldn’t understand that, then off they go. They weren’t a loss.
But even if she didn’t admit it, it got lonely. It got under her skin how painfully high the walls she built around her were. When people see them, they think it’s far too steep to climb and never bother to put in the effort because of it.
She didn’t know how she struck such good luck when she met Kitay, who slid past her defenses so quickly it was as if she had never them. And Venka, who simply bulldozed her way into her life, not giving her much choice in the matter.
And Nezha, who so stubbornly climbed them and dodged every projectile she hurled at him to keep him back. He’s so arrogant, conceited, condescending, and so, so fucking persistent.
And the thought of losing any of them terrified her.
She and Nezha had their stupid fights but she’d never, never walked out on him like that before. And she’s afraid she’s not going to come back.
“I fucked it all up tonight, didn’t I?” she whispers shakily, looking at Kitay with an unguarded expression.
His face softens for a second, before laughing, rudely, in Rin’s opinion.
“Sure, laugh at me while I’m on the brink of a breakdown, that feels fantastic,” she grumbles under her breath, momentarily distracted from her impending doom spiral.
“Don't be stupid. When Nezha first met you, you decked him in the face for being an asshole. But somehow you two managed to become friends. He saw you when you were drunk off your ass throwing up out the car window in our second year. He teased you for days on end and yet he still wanted to date you. He's so far gone for you, Rin, it's honestly kind of disgusting.”
“But—”
“When you were sick with the flu, he cooked for you, Rin.” Kitay forges on, looking at her pointedly, “and yeah, he almost burned your kitchen down and food poisoned you, but the fact of the matter here is you got Yin ‘born with a silver spoon in his mouth and a trust fund to his name’ Nezha to get off his ass and do something he’s never done before for you.”
Rin stays silent, hugging herself tighter. Kitay reaches over and squeezes her hand reassuringly.
“Look, Rin. Apart from me, I don’t think there’s any other person who would stick around for you more than Nezha would. You just have to let him in more. The world isn’t going to end if you admit you cared for him just as much as he does you. Understand?”
Slowly, she nods, still a little cautious but guilt slightly assuaged.
Kitay pulls back, satisfied.
“Now get up. He’s been sitting by the front door for like an hour and a half now, waiting for you to come out.”
“ What?!”
Kitay gives her a self-satisfied grin.
“Oh, yeah, he’s been texting me the moment you left your apartment. He says he really wants to talk to you, and I told him to wait a little, and I guess he took that to mean ‘ outside my fucking house’ .”
“Oh, you little shit— ”
“Go on.” He grabs her arm and hauls her up, dragging her to the door. “Talk to your loser.”
Before she could protest, he whips the door open, and Nezha scrambles up to face her, flushed.
“ Rin ,” he says, her name a relieved rush of air.
“Hey,” she replies slowly, eyeing him up and down. He looks like a wreck.
She probably doesn’t look any better. For some reason, she finds that comforting.
“We should probably talk.”
The glimmer of hope in his lovely, almond eyes makes the butterflies stir in her stomach.
I was expecting some dramatic turn away, but you stayed.
~*~
Before you, I only dated self-indulgent takers, who took all of their problems out on me.
The cold breeze sending goosebumps up her arms and down her spine seems a little like an ‘I told you so’ to Rin, which she definitely didn’t appreciate.
Like she needed any more fucking reminders.
Rin is a smart girl—and she has enough self-awareness to know that what she did tonight was one of the most idiotic things she’s done in her life.
She knew this blind date was a terrible idea from the very start—no one needed to tell her. Not Venka, not Kitay, not Altan or the rest of their organization, the Cike, and certainly not Nezha. She knew. From the moment she’d come across his profile on Tinder to the back-and-forth they had while they were setting up the date, Rin knew this was a fucking walking red flag, but she was as stubborn as a bull, and her ego had been taken far too much of a beating from one spoiled, arrogant second son of company CEO.
He'd kept making stupid jokes about her dying alone if she didn’t stop burying herself alive in her studies—which she wouldn’t have to if he’d stopped gloating whenever he got higher marks than her and making her want to slam his head into a classroom window—and if she didn’t stop bitching at every person who tried to approach her—which, in her opinion, if they can’t take the heat, then they’re not worth the time.
Nezha’s a conceited asshole, but he’s a good-looking asshole, and he knows it, which is fucking grating. He knows people find him attractive, and Rin knows that he would find no trouble in securing a date—half the girls they share classes with sneak glances at him and would probably love to go out with someone rich, intelligent, and pretty like him.
And that makes her feel… strange, in the most horrific way possible.
She is not feeling insecure. No way. It’s not that she needs to have a date—frankly, she doesn’t know how the fuck to fit a relationship into her schedule, and she didn’t particularly want to. She barely has a social life as it is, and her friends slot in perfectly to her very scarce free time.
But it does make her pride smart a little bit. She had a point to prove, and Lord knows there was no stopping her when she does.
She can get a fucking date just fine. She’ll show Nezha.
Well, life really just has a preference for biting her in the ass whenever she does something—because the date could very well be categorized as one of the worst experiences of her life.
It started fairly well—Yang Souji showed up on time, and he did look like his profile photos, that is to say, handsome, which she read was one of the unseemlier possibilities in a blind date. He was charming, if a little too overfamiliar with her, but he seemed fairly intelligent, a college student in a neighboring university. There were rarely any moments of awkward silence. Souji was good at navigating topics of conversation, and coupled with a few drinks, Rin felt a little more at ease, and was just glad she didn’t need to call the cops on speed dial.
She didn’t tell anyone except Kitay, who was out of town for a symposium with Professor Irjah, and therefore couldn’t stop her even if he wanted to, and Nezha, who seemed skeptical and irate and wanted nothing to do with the whole thing, which only made her more determined to go through with it.
It went smoothly until the very end when they had to pay their bill. Rin was taking out her wallet when Souji put his hand on her arm, and with a grin, volunteered to pay.
“No, really, I’ll pay for mine,” Rin insisted, suddenly feeling a little off.
“No need. I got it covered,” he handed a card to the waiter and signed off the bill, before turning back to her with a gaze that made her deeply uncomfortable.
“Well, thank you. I should probably go home, it looks like it’s going to rain,” she’d said, checking outside the storefront window at the suspicious clouds forming in the night sky.
“Where do you live? Maybe I can swing over to your place,” he cocked his eyebrow at her suggestively, and Rin felt a wave of repulsion wash over her.
Wow. So that’s why he paid for her food. Fucking typical.
“I don’t sleep with people on the first date,” she told him through gritted teeth, fist clenching on the table edge.
The smile slid off of his face, which was all the confirmation Rin needed. Disgusting pig.
“Oh, so you just wanted a free meal. I see how it is,” he scoffed, leaning back on his chair, mouth curled into a sneer.
“I offered to pay for myself, you fucking scumbag,” Rin hissed, but Souji just rolled his eyes and stood up, stalking away.
“Whatever. You’re not even that fucking pretty. So not fucking worth it.”
Rin flipped the middle finger at him before shrinking back into her seat, arms crossed, indignant fury simmering to a boil.
So now, she’s here, standing under the awning of the bistro they’d met up in, staring at the torrential rain beating down the pavement.
Even in her slightly-intoxicated brain, she couldn’t really blame anyone but herself.
Which makes what she’s about to do so much fucking worse.
But it’s not like she had any other choice—she doesn’t have an umbrella, there are no cabs in sight, and Kitay isn’t in town. Why is Kitay not in town tonight, of all nights?
Hugging herself tighter, she grudgingly takes her phone out of her bag and dials a number.
“Rin?” Nezha’s voice blares from her phone.
Rin swallows dryly, trying to psych herself up and hoping she doesn’t sound as pathetic as she feels.
“Are you home?”
“Yes, why? Aren't you supposed to be on a date right now?” his voice sounds strangely tight, but Rin chalks it up to the alcohol she ingested after feeling sorry for herself muddling her brain.
“My date left.”
“Come again?”
“My. Date. Left.” she grits out, loathing herself to an extent she didn't think was possible.
“Your date left... Why would—you mean you're all alone? Weren't you meeting at a bar? Or bistro? Did you have anything to drink?” Nezha asks, sounding alarmed.
Rin winces.
“Just a cocktail or two,” she mumbles.
“Or two.”
“...Or six.”
“Oh, for the love of God.” Nezha sighs exasperatedly, and Rin's temper flares.
“Fuck you. I shouldn't have even called you. If you're just gonna insult me, I’m going to find my own way home—”
“If you fucking hang up on me, I'm gonna tell Kitay you went home drunk and alone, and he won't be as pleasant as I'm going to be.” Nezha cuts her off. She hears a car door opening and the soft hum of an engine starting in the background. Rin glares at the phone so hard she thinks she might burn holes in it.
It’s one thing to deal with Nezha’s nagging and smug ‘I told you so’ s. It’s a whole other thing to deal with Kitay’s disappointment.
“Text me the address. I'm picking you up.”
“What if I don’t want to?” she asks irritably, just for the sake of being difficult.
“If Kitay, Venka, or Altan find out you refused to have me pick you up after a botched blind date in the rain out of pure stubbornness, they’ll kill you.”
“You fucking hate Altan.”
“I do, but I’m not above snitching. Now choose.”
Rin stays silent for a few seconds before giving in and texting him the address.
After half an hour, a sleek silver Mercedes pulls up in front of the bar entrance, and before Rin can make a run for it in the rain, Nezha steps out of the car with an umbrella and briskly walks towards her. He wordlessly hands her a bundle of cloth.
“What is this?”
“I thought you’d be cold,” is his clipped response. It’s a jacket, which Rin drapes around her shoulders. They walk to the passenger seat, and he opens the door for her, letting her settle before sitting in the driver’s seat next to her.
“Thanks,” she mutters, not looking in his direction. Now that it’s all said and done, Rin just feels stupid about the whole thing. What the hell was she even thinking, doing this?
“Don’t flatter yourself. I just had the car seats vacuumed,” he snorts, not taking his eyes off the road.
“Fuck you.”
They sit in silence for almost half the ride home, but at one of the stop lights, Nezha suddenly turns to her.
“Why’d your date leave?”
Rin stiffens, feeling another onslaught of jeering incoming from him, and she really, really wasn’t in the fucking mood.
“Nothing. He was an asshole.”
“It can’t be nothing if you say he was an asshole,” he presses, sparing a glance at the lights to make sure it’s still red.
“He paid for my food then got mad when I said I don’t have sex with people on the first date. There. Happy, jackass?”
“ What? ”
The anger in his voice throws her off, and she forgets that she’s avoiding his gaze, her eyes snapping to his. Nezha’s eyebrows are drawn together, his eyes flashing with disgust.
Rin cocks a brow at him questioningly. Whatever reaction she expected, it wasn’t as intense as this. It feels as if he’s searching her expression for something, and it makes her feel weird as hell.
“Did he force you to do anything?” he asks, fists tightening on the steering wheel. Thankfully, the light turned green, and Nezha is forced to direct his attention to driving.
“No, he just told me I was just looking for a free meal to save his pride. Told me I wasn’t that worth it, anyway. I flipped him off on the way out. I planned on going home right after, but it started to rain, so I got stranded.”
Rin thinks the last-ditch insult was honestly kind of funny—it was so pathetic, clearly just a way for Souji to nurse his wounded ego.
Then again, this whole date was Rin trying to nurse her wounded ego, so in a roundabout way, she really isn’t one to fucking talk.
But Nezha’s frowning even deeper now, sneaking looks at her from the corner of his eye. She pointedly ignores him, opting to look out the window and save what little dignity she has left.
“Are you going to go on another date?”
“You’re fucking kidding me, right?”
“I didn’t mean with him , dumbass,” Nezha says with an eye-roll, and she shoves his arm. “Watch it! Do you want us to fucking die? I meant with another person.”
“I’m not sure,” she lies through her teeth. “Maybe.”
“Why did you go on this date in the first place? It came out of fucking nowhere.”
Something inside Rin snaps.
Oh, he does not get to fucking ask her that.
“Oh, I don’t know, so maybe I won’t die alone because I keep bitching at the people who approach me so that’s why no one wants me?”
His gaze snaps to her abruptly.
“Rin, that’s not—I didn’t really—I was just joking,” he splutters out wildly. She doesn’t know why he’s acting surprised.
“Sure, you fucking were.”
“I didn’t mean it that way.”
“Oh, fuck you, just because you’re rich and pretty, you think you’re so much better than me. Fucking Yin Nezha with his fucking status, and his fucking pretty face, who can get everyone he fucking wants, while the rest of us are just inferior to him in every possible way, and no one could possibly want us. Arrogant prick.” Rin snaps, and it must be the fucking cocktails, because she doesn’t know why she’s saying this, only that it all rings true. Doesn’t make it any less humiliating, but honestly, tonight, she’s maxed herself out. Sober, hungover Rin can deal with this shit in the morning.
Nezha, for some reason, looks stunned, gaping at her, like a veil had been ripped from his eyes and he’s realizing something for the first time.
“Not everyone,” he finally says. “I can’t get everyone I want.”
Rin scoffs, barely registering they’ve pulled up to the front of her apartment building. “Just shut the fuck up—”
“Because,” he interrupts, suddenly leaning forward, and Rin’s breath hitches in her throat. He’s only a few centimeters away, his breath ghosting over her lips. “If I could, then I would’ve done this a long time ago.”
He surges forward and closes the distance between their lips.
Oh fuck.
His hands find her hair, carding through it as he slants his mouth against hers, and shit, how did he get so good at this?
Rin’s fists clutch at the lapels of his shirt, pulling him closer, as close as they both can get in the front seat of his car. Her heart is racing, her blood buzzing with electricity. Unsure of what to do, she rakes her nails down his chest, and it elicits a low groan from Nezha’s throat that makes her knees go weak.
When they pull apart, they’re gasping for breath.
“Have I proved you wrong, now?” he asks her softly.
“What?”
“About no one wanting you, or whatever bullshit it was you told me I said.”
“Fuck off.”
Nezha’s lips—damn those stupid, fucking soft lips—quirk into a sly grin.
“I guess I have to make a more convincing argument.”
He leans in for another kiss, and Rin can’t say he doesn’t make a good point.
~*~
But you carry my groceries, and now I’m always laughing…
“Give me that.”
“I said I can fucking do it.”
“Rin.”
“Fuck off.”
“ Rin . You're going to end up tripping. Just give them to me.”
Rin glares at Nezha. Nezha sighs and plucks the paper bag out of her arms, making her huff.
“I could have done that myself.”
“I know. But you also could have been the one to take the tampons from the shelf and give it to the cashier, but you made me do it, too.” Nezha's cheeks tinge pink, giving something in the bag a dirty look.
Rin snorts, covering her mouth with her hand. Nezha looks at her, his lips twitching dangerously into a smile.
They don’t get to do this often—with both their busy schedules, her with her part-time job, him with his extracurriculars, and his meetings with his father and siblings, they usually left the grocery shopping to whoever has more free time that week.
But today, the stars aligned for them—Nezha’s afternoon classes were cancelled, and the coffee shop Rin worked at was closed for the day with the owners leaving on a cross-country trip. The moment Nezha found out she was free, he insisted they do something together, which made Rin on edge, because that was the codeword for ‘ let me spend an atrocious amount of money on you’.
So, it was a pleasant surprise when their car pulled up to the local grocery store.
It was strangely relaxing, walking through the aisles, hand laced in with the other's, just picking out the stuff they needed to stock up on. In Kitay’s words, it felt comfortably, disgustingly domestic of them.
Which is why Rin decided she wanted to fuck with him.
“You have an older sister and you've known Venka for your whole life. Why are you so fucking squeamish about periods?”
“I'm not fucking squeamish. I just... Why are there so many options for them? Why did the cashier look at me funny?”
“Because you looked like a lost baby deer the entire fucking time they were scanning it, that's why. Girls bleed all the time, idiot. Plus, I think she thought you were cute.”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever, that's nothing new—” Nezha waves off, making Rin kick him in the legs. “Ouch, what the fuck?”
“You're so fucking arrogant. Screw you, you're a moron,” she says, but her lips are curved into a traitorous smile.
“Yeah, but you love me, even when I'm fucking clueless about feminine hygiene products, so who's the real moron?” he replies smoothly, planting a quick kiss on her cheek before unlocking the car and loading their groceries in the trunk.
Rin's cheeks burn, and she shakes her head in fond exasperation.
She must be fucking insane. Stupid, stupid feelings.
“Get your ass in here, Rin, I want to watch a movie when we get home,” Nezha yells, and Rin rolls her eyes.
“Don’t tell me what to fucking do, asshole.”
…I love you because you have given me no choice.
~*~
You think that it’s funny when I’m mad, mad, mad.
“I’m going to beat the shit out of you,” Rin hisses, a difficult task when she’s bent over, clutching her knees, trying to catch her breath.
“You look five seconds away from death,” Nezha grins down at her, “so I doubt that.”
She throws a punch at him that he sidesteps easily.
“You’re a fucking cheater, ” Rin growls at him, that spark of irritation coming to a boil.
And he laughs. He fucking laughs at her.
“I told you; you can’t win against me at Just Dance with only five months of practice. I’ve had this thing for years,” he says, waving that stupid fucking Wii remote nonchalantly like she hadn’t just embarrassed herself in front of him. “Just admit defeat. You lost.”
“Because you fucking cheated!”
He raises his eyebrows, looking at her for a couple of seconds before bursting into even more hysterical laughter. She hates him, and she hates that even his stupid, fucking laughter sounds pretty. The gods have their favorites, and she wants to strangle them for it.
“You tripping on the mat and almost getting hit in the face with my remote is not cheating , it’s just you being stupid and not staying in your place.”
She kicks at him, and her foot catches his shin, which sends him falling on his ass on the carpet. He blinks up at her in disbelief, looking offended. In one quick motion, he hooks his leg around hers and sends her stumbling down on top of him. She thrashes against him, and they scuffle on the floor, until he does something that makes her vow to kill him in her head.
He starts to tickle her.
His fingers poke her sides, her stomach, and her neck, and laughter rips out of her throat against her will as she squirms under his hold.
“ Stop! You fucking asshole!” she screams through breathless laughs, jerking back from him while he keeps her in place. When he finally does stop, he plops her onto his lap as she tries to catch her breath.
“You,” he declares with a shit-eating smile, hands still clamped around her wrists, “are a sore fucking loser.”
“I’ll show you sore,” Rin snaps at him, trying to wriggle out of his hold, to no avail.
“Oh? Will you?” he says slowly, cocking a brow at her with a smirk.
Rin stops momentarily, confused, before realization dawns on her. She plants her elbow into his stomach, eliciting a small oof from his mouth. “You’re fucking gross. Why are you men like this?”
He plants a kiss on her lips and wipes the sweat off her brow with the back of his hand. She pulls away, and he lets out a soft chuckle.
“Come on, you’re not actually pissed off at me for that, are you?”
“You cheated, then you fucking attacked me. I think it’s fucking valid.”
“I tickled you.”
Rin glares at him, folding her arms. “Same difference.”
“You’re so stupid,” he sighs, then smiles and plants a tiny kiss on her bare shoulder that makes her traitor of a heart flutter. “Fine. I’m sorry for wounding your pride and cheating and attacking you. Happy?”
Swatting a hand at him, she leans into his arms.
“I’ll beat your ass next time,” she grumbles into his neck, feeling the race of his pulse underneath his skin.
“We’ll see about that.”
She smacks him with the Wii remote in the arm.
~*~
You took the time to memorize me, my fears, my hopes, and dreams, I just like hanging out with you all the time.
Rin bolts up from their bed, breathing raggedly, clutching at her chest.
Her arms and back are slick with cold sweat, her heart is ringing in her ears, and unwelcome tears sting at the back of her eyes.
It was just a nightmare.
The fourth one this week.
Rin digs the heels of her hands into her eyes, forcing herself to take a steadying breath. She casts a glance at Nezha, whose arm is still wrapped around her waist, still fast asleep. The moonlight casts a glow on his lovely features, making him look ethereally beautiful.
Usually, just watching him would calm her down.
But tonight, it didn’t.
She needs air.
As gently as she can, she pries his arm off, hoping he wouldn’t notice. She slides off their bed, careful not to make a sound. Then she freezes when she feels him shifting in his sleep.
For a few seconds, she watches his hand blindly dart around her side of the bed, searching the sheets for her presence. His face scrunches up, and she was half-afraid he'd wake up, but then he gives up and turns over.
Rin breathes a silent sigh of relief. He shouldn’t lose sleep over her own shitty nocturnal disturbances. That’s her problem.
She heads straight to the balcony, taking a deep breath of the gentle summer breeze before settling on the outdoor lounge chair they’d bought when they first moved in together. Rin curls in on herself, letting her chin rest on her drawn knees, staring at the visible skyline. She tries to calm her thoughts, which are still racing a mile a minute, casting themselves back to the nightmare scenario she’d forced herself awake from.
She soaks in the silence for a few minutes, before footsteps sound from behind her.
“Why are you up?”
“Can't sleep properly without you,” he replies through a yawn, and Rin's stomach flips. “What's wrong?”
“Nothing.”
Nezha rubs his eyes, blinking them blearily as he sits on the foot of the chair.
“It doesn’t seem like nothing.”
“I’ll be fine. Go back to sleep.”
“Rin, don’t lie to me, please. What is it?” he insists, placing a hand on her thigh.
Sometimes, she’s surprised at how well he knows her, how he can tell what she’s thinking just by looking at her, maybe because aside from Kitay, no one even bothered to try.
“Nightmare.”
He nods, and wordlessly crawls to her side, wrapping her in his arms again. He squeezes her, and she allows herself to nestle into the crook of his neck.
“You know, stress can induce nightmares.”
“If you’re going to nag me about this again, then go back inside.”
He snorts, but obliges her, just watching the stars. But even with him around, the images of her nightmare start to creep up on her with no distraction, and her hands begin to feel clammy again.
“Talk to me, please,” she says against his skin, and she feels a shudder run through his body.
“You told me not to nag you.”
She glares up at him, making him grin at her. He kisses her forehead, and she swats his face away.
“Fine, then. About what?”
“Anything else.”
“Alright.”
He takes a breath, hand smoothing her hair out in soothing motions. He always does that when he helps her fall asleep.
“I was looking at apartments in Khurdalain, and I think I found one that you’d really like.”
“Why were you looking for apartments there?”
“Didn’t you say you wanted to be based there when we graduate because the weather was better than in Arlong? And because Kitay said he wanted to move there, too, and you want to live close by?” he asks.
Did she? She might’ve mentioned it in passing, but Rin knows she’s never seriously brought it up with him. How did he remember that?
“Oh.”
Nezha hums, nodding. “Yeah, I think you’d like it. The kitchen is spacey—it’s easier to move around than our current one. Maybe you could teach me to cook, then.”
“Is it expensive?”
“Surprisingly, no, just a little above the price of our apartment now. I don’t want you to strangle me,” he replies, giving her waist a playful squeeze.
“Good.”
All those times that you didn’t leave, it’s been occurring to me, I’d like to hang out with you for my whole life.
Nezha continues to talk about anything that comes to mind, about how Jun almost chased Jiang with a scalpel in the laboratory the other day, how Mingzha’s piano lessons were going, the places he wanted to travel with her once they both graduate.
Her eyelids start to droop, his soft voice lulling her back to sleep. She feels him shift underneath her, and on instinct, she tightens her hold on him.
Don't go, she thinks, or says, she can't really tell anymore, eyes fluttering shut, face half-buried in his chest.
But then she must have said it out loud, because she thinks she feels him press his lips gently against the top of her head, and whisper, “I won't. I'll stay, just sleep.”
Rin thinks she mumbles something back to him. She wants to say I love you— she rarely does so, because the words scare her. She'd only ever really said them often to Kitay—because they felt like a commitment. Like if she said them to him too often, she would invoke something that would take him away from her, whether by his doing, hers, or just by fate, who did not seem to like her or have much regard for her happiness all that much. Losing someone she proclaims she loves—she prides herself on her strength, for her ability to bounce back, but even she doesn't think she would be able to withstand that big of a blow.
She was afraid of the day she wouldn't hear a response.
But then she feels more than hears him murmur in her ear—the softest I love you so much, too —and she lets herself drift, safe and warm in his embrace.
Stay, I’ve been loving you for quite some time.
~*~
No one else is gonna love me when I get mad, mad, mad.
“Really?” he says, sounding more exhausted than angry, and her heart squeezes painfully. “What did I do this time?”
She hates this. She hates him, and she hates herself for fucking feeling this way.
“Just leave me the fuck alone.”
“No, tell me. Was it because of Mother? Or Jinzha?”
“I don’t want to talk about it, just fuck off.”
Nezha’s sigh makes her feel about two feet tall.
Not that she needed much help with that.
Rin met Nezha’s family in person for the first time today, and it was a fucking tragedy.
The only bright spot of the night was Mingzha, who’d immediately bombarded her with questions and praise, but even he couldn’t save the atrocious evening.
The car ride home was silent in the worst way.
She isn’t offended. It isn’t about that. She isn’t upset that his family clearly hated her—no, she hated them right fucking back, with their opulence, pretentiousness, and the sticks so far up their asses. She doesn’t care about their opinion of her.
It was that they barely acknowledged her—like she was just a footnote to be erased in Nezha’s life. Yes, they hated her, but it was in a way where they’d deemed her a temporary annoyance, something that would be gone the moment Nezha realized how ‘beneath him’ she is. The whole dinner was supposed to be about them meeting her, his first-ever serious girlfriend, and yet the rest of them, save for Mingzha, treated her like she was invisible. Really, she would have rather they insulted her to her face.
And Rin knows her boyfriend. She knows he would bend over backward for his family, no matter how many times they berate him or talk down to him. If they didn’t approve, sooner or later, their relationship is going to crumble.
Might as well get a head start.
“Rin, just… I’m sorry about them, alright?”
Rin’s head snaps in his direction, confused.
“I’ve spoken with Mother—she was the one who had more objections, Father was surprisingly neutral about it. But I told her her behavior was really uncalled for.”
“What?” she blurts out, dumbfounded. He looks at her, baffled.
“What do you mean, what?”
“You argued with your mother?”
Nezha blinks. “Does that surprise you?”
His face falls, which means Rin’s answer is obvious in her expression.
“I just thought that if they asked you to end things with me, you would have.”
“Why?”
“Because,” she trails off with a shrug, picking at her nails to avoid answering.
“That’s not—fuck. I’m sorry if I made you think that.”
Something twinges in her heart when she looks at Nezha then. He looks appalled, like he was wondering what he could have done wrong to make her look at him like that.
And it’s then that Rin realizes something.
Nezha’s gone all-in with this relationship. He tells her he loves her every single day. He’d let her meet his family. He’d asked her to move in with him. He’d risked the ire of his father by going against his mother.
A few years ago, Rin is sure he would have broken things off with her if he was ordered to.
But maybe, just maybe, he’d managed to change that, too.
She also realizes another thing.
Why did it take her so stupidly long to say something?
“I’ll… go to bed,” he tells her quietly, hanging his head low.
Oh, fuck it.
“I love you,” Rin tells him softly, and he freezes in his tracks. He turns around, and for a second, he looks stunned, eyes wide, mouth gaping. Then, a smile so tender splits his face, it makes her chest ache with fondness.
“That’s the first time you said that,” he replies disbelievingly, just as quiet, as if any louder would shatter this happy illusion, and he doesn’t want that.
But it’s not an illusion, not this time. She knows how long he’s waited for her to say it back, and despite that, never pushed her for a response.
“Don’t make me fucking regret it,” she says with no real bite, even though she knows she won’t.
“Not in my wildest dreams. You’re stuck with me, whether you like it or not.”
“That’s tragic. How the fuck has my life come to this,” Rin sighs, closing her eyes, and a faint gasp escapes her mouth as she feels Nezha’s lips brush both of her eyelids.
“I don’t know. I’m kind of glad it did.”
Rin hums, leaning into his warmth. He engulfs her in his arms, and they sit in silence, basking in the quiet shift of their relationship.
Eventually, Nezha threads his fingers with hers, and murmurs against her skin, “Say it again.”
She twists herself to look at him, ready to make a jab about him being needy, but he sees the emotion in his eyes—quietly pleading, a tinge of wary hopefulness.
So she sighs, presses her back against him again, and whispers, “I love you, you absolute moron.”
He smiles against her skin, and warmth bursts inside her chest.
“I love you, too.”
So, I think that it’s best if we both stay.