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“Why do you have to be such a stick in the mud around the holiday season?”
Sebastian tensed upon hearing Maru ask the question, the question coming out of the blue. He looked up from the table where he was playing Solarion Chronicles with Sam, surprised she ’d even bothered entering his room, let alone what her whole stick about the holidays was. He leaned back on his hands, frowning, unsure how to respond.
Sam frowned, looking up. “Come on. Sebastian isn’t a stick in the mud. Like everyone else, he participates in the secret gift-giving at the Feast of the Winter Star. Nor have I heard anybody complain about the gift he gives to the person he picks for him every year. And don’t forget the Festival of Ice. He builds snowmen with us every year.”
“Yes, but you’re not family Sam,” Maru said. “So he doesn’t check out on you as he does with the rest of the family and me.” She folded her arms across her chest. “I don’t think you know how lucky you have it around the holidays, Sebastian?”
“Excuse me?” Sebastian said, frowning.
“You heard me.”
“And I get enough lectures from your dad, Maru,” he continued. “I don’t need one from you as well. So piss off.”
“I will not,” Maru said. “Because someone has to remind you that you’re lucky, that there are people who can’t be home for the holidays!”
The words hit a nerve, reminding Sebastian of things he usually pushed to the back of his head, that he tried forgetting, that he wanted to move to the city so he wouldn ’t be around anybody who might remind him of those things. His fingers clenched, and he said, “This isn’t home Maru! The fact you think it is home for me….”
“You jerk!” Maru snapped. “Why do you always have to be such a scrooge? Idiot!” She turned and headed up the stairs, likely to snitch on him to their mother, and Sebastian flinched.
“Man, that was low,” Sam said.
Sebastian blinked, swallowing. “Wait.” He sucked in his breath. “I’m sorry. I forgot about your dad. That was low of me, but I owe you an explanation.”
“Sebastian, you don’t owe me an explanation,” Sam sighed.
“Yes, I do,” Sebastian fiddled, looking over at his bed.
“And I hate saying this, but I meant you owe your sister an apology,” Sam said.
“I do n….” Sebastian said, biting his tongue. “I really do owe you an explanation.”
“Sebastian, Maru’s family.”
“It’s not that.” Sebastian let out a sigh. “Hold on. I’ve something to show you. About why I’m so irritated at Maru for talking about things she doesn’t know about.”
“Sebastian,” Sam sighed, rolling his eyes. “I don’t need the drama.”
“Just,” Sebastian swallowed. “Please. I can’t talk about this with my mom.”
“Because you think she’ll side with Maru?” Sam asked.
“No,” Sebastian said, getting up and heading to bed. He got down on his knees and started pulling a rather large box out.
“You aren’t wanting to show me your porn stash, are you?” Sam asked.
Sebastian turned his head. “Ha, ha. Very funny. I don’t have a porn stash, but your mind is going there—it’s better than having Abigail ask where I keep my porn and her checking under my bed to see if I have any.”
“Has she seen any of this?”
“Depends on what you mean,” Sebastian said. “She’s seen the box, and she saw there wasn’t porn in it.”
“And you’re into her?”
Sebastian paled. “I am not into Abigail. I ’ve told you that.”
“Sure. What reason do you have for turning down my offer to help you get a girlfriend.”
“That,” Sebastian sighed, pushing the box over while shaking his head. He opened it up and pulled out an album, plopping it onto the table. “Really? Can we not talk about my dating life?” He opened up the book, then pushed it over. “Unlike Maru, I wasn’t born here in the valley.”
Sam frowned, looking at the photo album. “This place. Is this home to you?”
“Kind of. I guess you could say that,” Sebastian said, leaning over to point at someone in the photo. “But it’s more about him.”
Sam looked at the photo of a much younger Sebastian with a boy with wild red hair. “What is with the haircut? And the bright colors? I mean, that is you?”
“Well, yeah. Before,” Sebastian frowned. “Before things happened. Before I dropped out of high school.”
“Maru still doesn’t let you hear the end of that, does she?”
“No.”
“So, is this guy someone, you had a crush on?” Sam asked.
Sebastian choked. “Sam, what the fuck!”
Sam looked up. “Look. I mean, if you swing,” and then he stopped. “Wait. I crossed some line, didn’t I?”
Sebastian flipped the page, where there was another page with more pictures, before pointing to a picture of Robin standing there with Sebastian and the other person. “We don’t talk about Arlo because mom’s still miffed he became a part of the Civil Corps like my dad did, which absolutely freaks her out.”
“Wait,” Sam said. “Civil Corps. As in the Alliance of Free Cities area? The wild frontier? You were born out there? And you have an older brother you’ve never told me about?”
“Mom doesn’t like talking about Arlo,” Sebastian said.
“Yeah, but you could have told me about that, Sebastian,” Sam said. “Although knowing you as I do, I get why you didn’t.”
“And it’s really not the wild frontier. Portia, that is. I’d say that’s Sandrock, where Grandma Vivi, Hugo, and Heidi live.”
“Who?” Sam asked.
“Some of Demetrius’ family,” Sebastian said.
“Wait. You refuse to call him dad, yet call his mom grandma?”
“Everybody in Sandrock calls her Grandma Vivi,” Sebastian said. “It’s a thing.” He looked at the pictures, unsure how he felt looking at them after all this time. “Sandrock’s the only one I would consider being a part of the wild frontier, though one could argue the area around those places is as well.”
“Dude. This is like beyond cool, but it explains a lot. But you’ve really been to all of the cities?” Sam said.
“Yeah,” Sebastian said.
He pointed to a picture with a lot of people. “And this? This is your mom’s entire family.”
“Except for my grandparents, who live in Atara,” Sebastian said, frowning. “Those are her brothers Gale, Paulie, and Mars, along with my Uncle Gale’s kids Ginger and Gust. I never got along with Gust, but Ginger, I did.”
“She’s cute. Do you know if she’s still single?”
“Sam!” Sebastian said as Sam turned the page. “Really?”
“Really, although this girl is cute as well.”
“Mi-an?” Sebastian stammered before reaching out and quickly closing the photo album. “Look, this is all in the past, but….” He set it back in the box. “Maru might be right about me checking out from reality around this time of year.”
“I know the wars prevented you from returning, but they’re not cut off from us like they were a few years ago,” Sam said. “And you’d have a chance to talk to that cute girl you like.”
“Mi-an?” Sebastian choked out. “No, no.” He shook his head. “Sam, that’s not the only reason I can’t go back. You know I dropped out of high school.”
“Do you have to tell anybody that?”
“I fucking dropped out of the high school program at Atara university,” Sebastian said. “They’re going to fucking ask as me going was a big deal.”
Sam frowned. “Wait. You dropped out of the Atara program?”
“Sam, please,” Sebastian sighed. “Demetrius gives me enough flack for it as it is.”
“That doesn’t mean everyone back home will give you the same flack, but did you ever tell Demetrius your reasons for dropping out? I mean, burnout is burnout, isn’t it.”
“It’s,” Sebastian looked at the table.
“Hard to talk to him about this stuff?”
“Hard to talk to him and mom about a lot of things. And I certainly can’t talk to Maru about any of this,” Sebastian looked at the table. “She rides me hard enough for dropping out of high school.”
“Because you’re smart,” Sam said.
“I’m not. Not like Maru,” Sebastian said. “If she found out it was the Atara program, she’d ride me even harder.”
“It’s alright. Thanks for sharing this with me, Sebastian. I know doing so was hard,” Sam said.
“You’re welcome.”
“Sebastian, you don’t need to welcome me for that,” Sam laughed.
“Also, I’m sorry about saying what I did.”
“Because of my dad?” Sam said. “The thing is, you’re going through a similar thing as me, not having the family you want home for the holidays. It’s just you’re the one who’s not home instead. Meaning, I actually get how you feel. You get how I feel regarding my dad. Hell, your brother is a part of the Civil Corps, similar to what my dad does.”
“Don’t tell your mom,” Sebastian said. “I mean, if you tell her, she can’t bring this up in front of my mom.”
“Even though my mom gets where your mom’s worry is coming from?”
“Sam, please.”
“I get it. I get it. I already did, that it needs to be on your mom’s terms when she’s ready to talk about it with my mom,” Sam said. “If ever. And that means no talking about this in front of Vincent, that blabbermouth.” And then, “If you ever need to talk about this, I’m here.”
“Thanks.”
“Did it help?”
“Yeah, I think it did,” Sebastian said, finding himself feeling up to smiling.