Chapter Text
I’d been looking forward to playing this show for weeks. Through the whole tour this was the biggest venue we’d ever played. Awsten did his usual routine of last minute practice backstage, until the songs became second nature to him so he could rest his head on my shoulder while I supported his guitar with my basslines.
About halfway through the show, I heard some screaming from the crowd, and immediately felt Awsten’s presence behind me. “Wanna really get this crowd hyped?” he flirts, raising an eyebrow and smirking.
”How about you show me what you mean?” I flirt back and he chuckles softly. The screaming gets louder again as we both move to face eachother, somehow in sync. He leans in, and further in until our lips were an inch apart. Somehow he hadn’t faltered his playing. The concept of him being so talented only distracted me more. But the screaming seemed to fade when I felt his lips on mine. My hand left the fretboard and found its way up to his hair, but the kiss was over just as fast as it began, and he hopped off happily back to his place, shooting a wink my way before he turned back to the crowd.
After the show, he was so hyped up. Pretty normal for him, but not for me. And still, I was. “I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep tonight,” I laughed.
”So let’s just stay up all night. We’ve not got a show tomorrow,” he wrapped his arm around my shoulders. ”Are you guys good without us?” Awsten asked the other two. They both nodded, and we both went off on our own.
”I thought you might want a quiet walk,” he shrugged, breaking the long silence as we walked around aimlessly.
”Well, yeah. Where else do you think I go this time of night?”
”That’s true.”
”Can I ask you something?”
Awsten stopped and looked at me, then nodded. “Always.”
”At the show. What was that?” I couldn’t help but smile a bit thinking about it. I watched him go bright red.
”Ah- Well, you see-“ he muttered, trying to find the words and literally anything else to look at other than me, “Playing shows hypes me up. So much more than usual today, because of how many people were there. And I got a bit overconfident. Oh, god, please don’t be mad.”
”Are you kidding?” I laugh, lightly hitting his shoulder. “I didn’t really want it to end.”
He’s got something on his mind, because something knocked him into a trance. “Awst.”
”What?”
”You’ve got that massive grin on your face again.”
”What- oh, it’s nothing,” he looks down but he’s clearly struggling to act all cool. He seems to think that leaning against a wall with one foot propped up will help. “Just never gotten a compliment like that before.”
”Clearly.”
“Hey!”
”It’s not like I have either!”
”Wait, seriously?” Awsten seems bewildered at that.
”Um- yeah? Did you seriously think- Oh, god, Awsten,” I laughed. “We’ve been friends since highschool, you know I’ve never been kissed before.” He puts his arm around my waist.
”I’m glad I got to be the first,” he smiled, cheerily as always, even if I saw exhaustion rush through him. “Okay, I’m tired now. Wanna head back to the bus?”
“Yeah. C’mon, let’s go,” I agree. He pushes himself off the wall and unwraps his arm from my waist, holding my hand instead. Why was he so touchy tonight? He’s not normally.
That’s not to say I wish he wasn’t.
We got back to the tour bus and I laid down on my bunk. Awsten normally slept on the bunk above, but he looked like he wanted to ask something, so he hadn’t gone up yet.
”Awst?”
”I’m a very cuddly person, I like to have someone to hold,” he blurts, then covers his mouth.
”How have you kept this from me so many years? C’mere,” I said, motioning for him to get in the bunk as well. He did, and I shuffled to be against the wall to allow him space to get in — but the bunk was small, and we ended up pressed together anyway. I think he was too tired to care.
I watched as he decided to say what was on his mind. “Maybe we should talk a little more about what happened at the show today?”
”Mm, tomorrow. I’m tired.”
”Then, uh,” he stops to contemplate again, bringing a hand up to my cheek. “Can I kiss you again?”
I nod with a soft laugh. “Always.”
He leans in, and just as he’s about to close the gap we hear the door open and shut. He sighs against my lips and I laugh a bit.
”Am I interrupting?” Geoff asks.
”Yeah! Kinda!” Awsten looks back at him with a jokingly angry face. Geoff laughs. “I’m kidding. You guys should come in, it’s cold out there.”
”Freezing cold,” Otto chimes in. “Hey Awsten, you want a chocolate milk or something?”
”Hell yeah,” he says, then pulls me in for a quick kiss before getting up. I sat up in shock, eyes wide and face gone beet-red. Awsten looks back and laughs. “God, you’re so easy to fluster. You’re so cute,” he leans down again to kiss my cheek and I let out a yelp. “Sorry. I had to.”
I pause for a moment before mumbling, “don’t be. It’s nice.”
His expression softens a bit and he ruffles my hair before going to get his drink, then bringing it back to the bunk and sitting with me. He chats idly to Geoff and Otto as he gets through his drink, and I lean forward against his back with my arms around his waist.
Every movement he makes with his free hand is probably subconscious, but so precise that it makes me think it might not have been. Holding his drink with his left, his right drifts down to my hands latched together on his stomach to lightly stroke my knuckles with his thumb. It then goes down to the leg I’d extended out past him, who was sat cross-legged. It then goes back up to my forearm, tracing shapes on it. Just being around Awsten was so calming I fell asleep on him. The last thing I heard before I drifted off to deep sleep was him shushing the others.
He put his empty glass down, said goodnight to the others, and didn’t bother changing into comfier clothes. He just pulled the blanket up and made sure I was comfortable.
As the night went on and Otto and Geoff drifted off, Awsten still couldn’t sleep, no matter how much he tossed and turned. He got up and stood against the counter in the mini kitchen to get some food. Otto ended up awake as well, and the pair chatted in the kitchen.
”When are you gonna make a move, anyway?” Otto asked.
Awsten sighed and looked at the ceiling. “You have me figured out.”
”Figured out?” Otto airquotes. “You have the subtlety of an alarm clock, Awsten. Don’t insult me,” he laughs. “Well? Answer the question.”
”That kind of was my move at the show today.”
”No, no, you’ve gotta do something bigger. People platonically kiss all the time,” Otto shrugs.
”What do you suggest? I’ve got nada.”
“Well, you could-“
“Awst…” I mumbled, coming out of sleep. His face drops.
”One second, Otto.” He hurries over and crouches down by the bunk, resting his hand on my cheek.
”Did I wake you up?”
”It’s okay,” I sigh a bit, looking at him with a smile growing on my face.
”Hey, what’s that smile for?” he says, unable to keep himself from smiling a little as well.
”You look so cute when you’re sleepy,” I admitted, bringing his hoodie hood up over his head. “Especially with your hood up. But your hair is a mess, and that just makes this whole ensemble so much better.”
Awsten, flustered, scrambles to fix his hair. “Well- I- You’re an honest one tonight, aren’t you?”
There’s a silence before Awsten chimes in again.
”How subtle am I?”
”Awsten, I’m too tired for riddles.”
”No, seriously. How subtle do you see me?”
I thought for a moment. “Well, I guess you’re pretty subtle sometimes. But you are a little out there, so it’s kind of difficult for you to be as subtle as you want to be.”
Awsten nods, taking all of this into account. “It’s officially tomorrow. You wanna go for a walk and talk about what happened at the show?”
”Yeah, let’s go.”
We both left the tour bus, waving goodbye to Otto before we did. This was my first time touring with the band rather than having to relive it over facetime, which was nice, but the streets were all unfamiliar, including this one. Awsten picked up on my anxiety and wrapped his arm around me. “I’m here,” he says quietly to reassure me, and I nod, trying to keep myself balanced by not leaning into him. But it was so late and I was so tired that I fell asleep on him for a second. “Woah— Okay, okay, you’re good,” he says and helps me back up.
”Sorry.”
”No worries. Let’s go sit down somewhere so that doesn’t happen,” he chuckles and we find a bench to sit on.
”You’re so eager to talk to me about what happened at the show. Everything okay?”
Awsten sighs a bit and looks at me. “I don’t really know. It was great. I loved it. But I guess I’ve just been worried about what you thought this whole time. I mean, I know you told me that you didn’t want it to end, but I can’t stop thinking about it.”
I thought for a moment. “Yeah, it’s been replaying in my mind honestly. In the best way possible. And I just can’t stop thinking about the way I felt, when… you…” I trailed off when I realised that Awsten had been inching closer this whole time. His hand managed to find its way up to my shoulder without his knowledge. His gaze met mine, and my breath caught in my throat. He stopped and withdrew himself a bit.
”You okay?”
”Yeah, come back,” I chuckled a bit.
”Okay. You just seemed a bit hesitant.”
”I’m not, Aws. I just don’t really know how to kiss.”
“I can teach you,” Awsten leant back in. “And just to make this clear…” he starts, then pauses. He cradles the side of my head in his hand and strokes my cheek with his thumb. “…This isn’t platonic anymore,” he smiles a little and finally closes the gap. Sparks fly in every contact point. Awsten keeps his hand on my cheek but the other drifts down to hold my hand. I ended up smiling so much I had to pull away, my head immediately falling on his shoulder. “You still good?”
”Better than that Awsten,” I look up at him and he sees the beaming smile on my face. He can’t help but smile as well.
“You wanna go back?” he asked, running a hand through my hair.
”Yeah. It’s cold out here.”
We get up and instead of holding my hand, he wraps his arm around my shoulders.
”I guess we have a lot to talk about.”
”But we have to promise this won’t ever ruin our friendship if something bad happens,” Awsten adds to my statement. My expression softens.
”I’m really important to you, aren’t I?”
”Well, duh,” Awsten chuckles a little.
“You’re important to me too. And I promise, I won’t let it ruin our friendship.”
“I wont either,” he says, and kisses my cheek.
When we’re back at the tour bus, Awsten opens the door and jumps at the fact that Otto was stood right there. Awsten looks at me, and I look at him.
”Well. May I say, the atmosphere doesn’t seem so platonic anymore with you two,” we both look up at the sound of Otto’s voice. He sounds oddly… Triumphant.
”Are you both up?” Awsten asks, noticing that he seemed to be talking to Geoff.
Geoff comes to the door. ”Otto wanted to fill me in on the situation. And now I owe him $20.”
”You bet money on whether or not we’d get together?” I ask, laughing.
“I thought it was easy money! Awsten is a coward, I thought the closest he’d get to actually asking you out would be all those so-“
He’s cut off by a death glare from Awsten, which just makes him laugh. “Okay, I’ll let Awsten tell it.” Geoff walks off.
We both go into the tour bus and get into my bunk. “Guys,” Otto says, “It’s almost 7 in the morning.”
”We’re not doing anything today,” Awsten reminds him. “I’m tired.”
I smile a little. “Hey Awst, can I wear your hoodie?”
”Of course you can,” he smiles and kisses my cheek, takes the hoodie off and hands it to me. I put it on and pull up the hood, letting my head rest on his chest, listening to his heartbeat, falling asleep.