Work Text:
Barba walked toward her office, then raised his eyebrows and slowed a little when he heard Olivia swear loudly and unquestionably kick an innocent piece of furniture.
As he approached her open door he looked up and smiled with amusement at a small sprig of mistletoe hung from the doorframe, then coughed lightly to alert her to his presence.
She turned with a startled expression but then saw that it was Barba leaning in her doorway and smiled.
“Safe to enter?” He asked with a measure of concern.
Olivia rolled her eyes and moved to sit behind her desk. She tossed her cell down as she sat and nodded at the chair facing her. “Actually, I could probably use the distraction…” she admitted.
“You know you have mistletoe in your doorway?” He asked as he sat.
Olivia glanced over at her door with mild concern but then sighed and shrugged. “Probably one of the team's idea of a joke…” she mused, “…not very professional, but I’m leaving soon.” She glanced at the time.
“Bad day?” Barba asked as he pushed a cup of her favorite minted hot chocolate across the desk toward her then sipped his coffee.
Olivia smiled in appreciation at his concern as she picked up her drink. “Work isn’t really the problem, Rafa. It’s Noah.”
Barba smiled, “Mi amigo? A problem?”
Olivia laughed now. “It’s about this stupid monkey,” she started to explain, “…I swear to God he hasn’t mentioned these things once, not even months ago, but he must have seen ads on TV or heard about them at school.”
Barba shrugged, not really seeing where this was going.
“So, last night we were talking at dinner and he told me how excited he is to be getting one, that he has already decided what its name will be and he can’t wait to take it into school after New Years to show his friends!” She laughed with a slightly panicked edge to her tone. “Seriously, Rafa, I’d never even heard of these little bastards.”
Barba couldn't help but smirk now.
“It’s not funny!” Olivia insisted in spite of her own amusement. “Turns out he didn’t tell me because it’s all that he asked Santa for...so of course, that might as well be money in the bank.”
“Can’t you stop and get him one on the way home?” Barba suggested and then winced when Olivia damn near growled.
“You don’t think that was my plan?” Olivia pointed out with building frustration, although Barba could tell her anger was not really aimed at him. “I called the first local toyshop that showed up on Google, just to check they had the color he wanted…they fucking laughed at me!”
Barba’s eyebrows raised in surprise now.
“You know there have been fights in stores over these things?! Seems they’re the toy every kid wants and they’ve been selling out for weeks. So now it’s Christmas Eve and I’m being told that I’d basically have to sell my soul for one.”
Barba was horrified to see tears of frustration welling in Olivia’s eyes. He quickly stood and rushed around her desk, crouching in front of her chair and looking into her eyes with concern. “Liv? This can't be just about a toy monkey.”
“I know it’s stupid,” she swiped at her tears of frustration before they fell, “…it’s just he’s had such a fucking crappy year. He’s so excited to get this thing and not for one moment has he even questioned whether Santa will come through.”
Barba nodded sadly, he understood now that this wasn’t really about the toy, this was about a mom desperately not wanting to let her little boy down. She wanted to keep that Christmas magic alive, even if just for one more year.
“You’ve called around then?” He asked, finally catching on.
“Everywhere is either saying they’re sold out or not answering calls. I’ve emailed about 50 stores and only received two replies, both basic ‘copy and paste’ professional responses saying ‘no chance’,” Olivia explained. “I’ll have to do this in person, on Christmas Eve! I’ve already called Lucy and begged her to stay on…you’ve just caught me.”
“Liv, it’s still snowing out there. Absolutely freezing!” Barba told her needlessly.
“Noah is relying on me…or rather he’s relying on Santa. I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t at least try,” Olivia explained.
Barba nodded slowly and then stood and clapped his hands together. “Right, so let’s print out a list and split it in half.”
“No!” Olivia said quickly as she also stood. “I couldn’t ask you to do that, I think I honestly just needed to vent a little.”
“Liv, I’m not about to go home and leave you trudging around Manhattan for hours, if we do this between us it will take half the time.”
Olivia was about to protest, but couldn’t seem to find the words when faced with his sincere offer. She printed off the list and offered her friend the section closest to his apartment.
As they left her office Olivia reached up to remove the mistletoe from her doorframe. She had intended to simply toss it in the trash on the way through the outer office, but at the last moment she held it above them and turned to chastely touch her lips to his cheek.
“You’re a true friend, Rafael Barba,” she told him, “…maybe the best I’ve ever had. You always have my back, thank you.”
Barba looked a little startled but smiled and nodded. “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be, Liv, I assure you.”
Almost three hours later, Barba pulled his top coat tighter around his chest and shuddered with the cold - even with a vest, shirt, jacket, coat, scarf and gloves he was still freezing. He wondered whether he could encourage a new fashion for wearing two overcoats during Manhattan winters, but then decided that he probably wasn’t in a position to drive such revolutionary new fashions.
He kicked his feet onto the cold sidewalk in the hope of waking up his frozen toes and was about to reach into his pocket to check the list for the next store when his cell rang.
“Rafa, this is hopeless,” Olivia said before he even had a chance to speak.
Barba let out a cloudy breath of cold air as he looked up at the dark night sky, he hated to let Noah down by giving up, he hated to let either of them down.
“It’s Christmas Eve, let’s not torture ourselves anymore,” she added, “…let’s just go home.”
“Liv, there’s still…” he checked and concluded, “…six more stores on my list.”
“Enough now, Rafa, I’m not going to make you ill for a toy monkey that my kid will probably forget all about in a few weeks. It’s freezing out here,” she reprimanded softly, “…time to go home.”
There were a few moments of silence and then he finally accepted that Olivia was right. “I’m sorry, Liv, I really thought we could do this.” He paused again and then regretfully concluded, “I guess I’ll see you after New Years?”
“No!” Olivia replied a little sharply.
Barba raised his eyebrows.
“I mean,” she continued, “…if you don’t have plans tonight I thought we could meet back at mine? I talked to Lucy about ten minutes ago and Noah is still up. I know he would love to see you.”
Barba was surprised, the last thing he’d expected was to get invited over to Olivia’s tonight. It was Christmas Eve after all, family time. “I wouldn’t want to intrude…” He replied after another long pause.
“You couldn’t possibly intrude,” Olivia assured him quickly. “I couldn’t imagine a better Christmas Eve treat for Noah than a visit from his favourite Uncle Rafa. Then after Noah goes to bed we could have a drink…” Barba was surprised by how unsure she suddenly sounded, “…but, as I said…I understand if you have plans.”
There was nowhere else that he would rather be and Barba wasn’t about to turn down her invitation. “I have no plans, but are you sure?”
“Of course I’m sure,” Olivia replied immediately, he thought she almost sounded relieved, “…you're always welcome in our home, Rafa.”
Barba looked across the street and toward the turning to his apartment. “I’m actually pretty close to home right now.”
“Oh? Well, I know it’s cold,” she replied, sounding a little resigned to the fact he wouldn’t be coming after all, “…I understand if you would rather go home.”
“No, I just mean…maybe I could go home and change out of my work suit before I come over to yours?” He suggested.
“I’ll go home now and tell Noah that we’re having a special Christmas guest. See you soon.” Olivia ended the call.
Barba was sure it was just his imagination, but suddenly he felt a little warmer.
A little over an hour later, Olivia was cooking and Noah was watching a Christmas movie on TV when there was a soft knock at their front door.
“Our special guest?!” Noah asked. His mom had told him that he would be really happy to see their surprise visitor, so he was already excited.
Olivia had received a text from Barba so she knew it was him. “How about you go answer the door for me?” She suggested.
Noah grinned broadly, mommy never let him answer the door. “Is it Santa?!” He suggested.
“No…better!” She teased.
Noah got even more excited and ran for the door, he stretched up and opened the latch just like mommy did, then carefully pulled back the door to reveal that…his mommy was right!!!
“Uncle Rafa!!!!” Noah gasped.
When the little boy ploughed into him and wrapped his arms around his waist Barba stepped back in surprise before returning the child’s excited hug with his free arm. “Hey, Noah,” he greeted. Then he looked up to see Olivia had arrived behind her son and was watching them with a wide smile.
Barba was wearing dark blue denim jeans, sneakers, a thick jacket, hat, scarf, an evening shadow from more than fifteen hours of beard growth and dark-rimmed glasses. He looked really good.
“Hi, Rafa,” Olivia greeted him brightly, surprised to find that she was consciously trying not to stare.
“Liv,” He replied with a smile, then he looked down at Noah as the little boy stepped back and gazed up at him with an eager grin.
“Mommy told me that you are even better than Santa and she was right!” Noah announced with excitement that took Barba by surprise.
“Are you going to invite our guest in, Noah? Or are you planning to leave him outside in the hallway?” Olivia teased her son.
Noah grinned and grabbed Uncle Rafa’s hand, pulling him inside before he had the chance to escape. “We could play? Or we could watch a movie? Or we could bake something? Or we could listen to Christmas music? What’s your favourite Christmas music, Uncle Rafa? Do you like Christmas music, Uncle Rafa? Do you like cinnamon cookies, Uncle Rafa? Me and mommy made some yesterday so they’re very nearly fresh and-”
“Noah,” Olivia cut into his line of questioning. Her son had tugged their friend all the way from the door and as far as the couch while barely leaving time for breath. “How about you let your Uncle Rafa take off his coat and put down his bags before you plan an itinerary?”
Noah looked between the two adults, then settled his focus back on his Uncle Rafa. “Uncle Rafa, what’s an i-ten-ary?”
Olivia laughed and stepped over to shoo her son towards the bathroom. “Go! Clean up and get ready for bed, then you can have one hour with your Uncle Rafa.”
“Aw, Mommy!!” Noah protested.
“Baby, it’s almost 9 pm,” Olivia reminded him, “…and little boys need to go to bed early on Christmas Eve or Santa won’t visit.” She winced internally as she recalled the missing toy, but didn’t let the concern show on her face.
“But you get to stay up with Uncle Rafa?” Noah protested, glancing back at Barba as his mom edged him toward the bathroom door.
Olivia crouched down in front of her son and smiled with a teasing glint in her eyes. “Noah, baby…Uncle Rafa is my friend.”
Noah pouted, he knew that Uncle Rafa was a grownup and that he was his mommy’s friend, but he was his favorite and it was Christmas! “But, Mommy, I-” He started to plead.
Olivia cut him off gently before he even began the next round of begging. “Baby, the quicker you get washed and changed for bed the more time you’ll have to spend with Uncle Rafa.” She found her son’s affection for Rafael Barba genuinely touching.
The little boy suddenly looked shocked by this revelation and rushed off in a panic to get ready.
Laughing softly in amusement at her over-excited son, Olivia walked back through to Barba. “My boy adores you, Rafa,” she told him as he placed down his bags and looked up at her with a smile.
“Trust me, I’m as confused by that as you are,” Barba assured her.
Olivia smiled and rolled her eyes. “On the contrary, I’m not confused by that at all.”
“I…” He didn’t seem to know what to say to that but nodded gratefully when Olivia stepped forward to take his hat, scarf and overcoat from him. She lay them temporarily over the back of the couch then reached up to touch the rim of his glasses.
“I like these,” she observed, “they look good on you.”
Barba smiled and rolled his eyes a little. “I had a long day and it’s cold outside…” the cold always made his eyes sore, “…I had to take my lenses out.”
“How did I not know that you wear lenses?” Olivia asked, surprised that after so long she was still learning even the most basic facts about her friend. “They really do look good on you,” she added, noting that he looked a little self-conscious and seemed to have assumed that she was teasing him.
Olivia was realising that it was easier to compartmentalise when Barba was dressed for work, his suit being a constant reminder of that professional line, a line they could not cross. Although she was struggling to remember why that line had always seemed so important right now, everything about her friend seemed to be drawing her in, closer to his warmth, closer to his enticing scent…
“Thank you for inviting me tonight,” Barba said breaking her reverie.
Olivia smiled, she needed to focus. “So, what are your plans for tomorrow?”
Barba shook his head. “My mom is in Florida with family so no rush for me to get home, but tell me when you want to turn in, I know Christmas Day with Noah must be busy.”
“Would you like to find out?” Olivia suggested without even thinking. “You’d be very welcome to spend Christmas with us, Noah would be so happy.”
“I wouldn’t want to intrude…” Barba said.
“Your support this evening reminded me that we really do have a family, that it’s not just me and Noah. I want my son to understand that as well…”
Noah suddenly burst into the room and rushed toward them. “Uncle Rafa!” He climbed up onto the couch and pulled Barba’s arm to encourage him to sit down. “I have lots of questions, mommy said that you’re really good at questions!”
“Generally I ask the questions,” Barba explained and glanced up at Olivia to see her smiling affectionately at them both.
“How about I leave you to spend some time together?” She suggested. “I have some things to prepare for tomorrow. Remember, my sweet boy, one hour and then bed.”
Noah sighed and rolled his eyes.
“Hey, amigo, no sassing your mom,” Barba spoke quite lightly, but he arched his eyebrow just to let his young friend know that he was being a little serious.
Noah bit his lip contritely and then looked up at his mom. “I’m sorry, mommy. I promise to go to bed in exactly one hour.”
“Good boy,” Barba said proudly and Noah grinned when his uncle reached out to ruffle his hair.
Olivia laughed at them both. “Rafa, you have my boy eating out of the palm of your hand, you can stay.”
“Really?!” Noah took his mom’s words literally and bounced on the couch with excitement.
“Actually, I’ve already asked your Uncle Rafa to spend Christmas with us tomorrow. So maybe while you’re talking you can convince him to join us?” Olivia walked away smiling as she heard her son already starting his campaign for Barba to join them the next day.
“…So if the stores have nice men who work for them to help Santa during Christmas, how do we know which ‘Santa’ really is Santa? What if the one who visits tonight is just a man pretending to be Santa?” Noah was still grilling his Uncle Rafa with questions as Olivia walked back toward them about fifty minutes later. She was relieved to see that he didn’t look overly concerned, just intrigued.
“Well, let’s think about this really carefully…” Barba replied and paused to give Noah’s question the thought it deserved. Finally, he concluded, “Only Santa would be able to magically arrive next to our trees at Christmas, especially as you don’t even have a chimney.”
Noah’s eyes widened in realisation and he nodded thoughtfully at his Uncle Rafa’s extremely valid point.
“Not to mention that only the real Santa could make reindeer fly,” Barba added, “…that's not a standard skill that can be learned on just any ‘Santa’s Helper’ course, you know? That’s the sort of magic that only the real Santa has.”
Noah grinned now, clearly thrilled that a grownup besides his mom was taking his questions so seriously and making all of these very valid points. “Mommy was right, you really are very good at questions, Uncle Rafa!”
“Also, this is the Benson Household,” Barba added and smiled up at Olivia as he sensed her arrival, “…only the real Santa is invited to visit, and your mommy is the best detective in the whole world. Isn’t that right?”
Olivia laughed, “Best in the world might be overstating,” she smiled at Barba and then sat down next to her son, “…but yes, only the real Santa is allowed to visit here. No pretend Santas are allowed!”
Noah giggled and nodded happily. “I think Uncle Rafa is right, Mommy, I think you might be the best detective in the whole world.”
“Well, I think your Uncle Rafa might be biased,” Olivia contended.
“What’s biased?” Noah asked.
Olivia smiled at Barba, “It means…well, it means that because Uncle Rafa is mommy’s friend I think he might believe I’m more special than I really am.”
Noah shook his head, “No, Mommy, I think that because Uncle Rafa is mommy’s special friend he knows how great you are!”
“Exactly right!” Barba agreed with him and chuckled warmly.
“Thank you, baby, that’s a very nice thing to say,” Olivia told him. Then she looked at her watch and sighed, she hated to break up their little chat but she had asked him to promise. “It’s bedtime, Noah.”
“Aww!” Noah started to complain, but then he looked to his Uncle Rafa for backup.
“Remember what we said before, Noah,” Barba reminded him.
Noah sighed a little sadly, but then nodded and looked back at his mom. “Okay, Mommy,” he glanced back to Barba. “You will come for Christmas tomorrow, won’t you?”
“If your mom is sure…?” Barba looked over at Olivia.
“I’m very sure,” she insisted.
“Okay, well then I guess I’ll see you tomorrow."
“Best Christmas ever!” Noah announced happily as Olivia gently guided him toward his bedroom.
When Olivia joined Barba on the couch less than half an hour later she smiled when she saw that he had already poured them each a large glass of red wine.
“My hero,” Olivia spoke with a grateful smile before taking a long sip and leaning back on the couch. She sat at a slight angle so that she was facing him and Barba quickly mirrored her position and also sat back with his drink.
“It’s your wine,” Barba pointed out, “…I’ll have to bring a bottle with me tomorrow.”
“Stay?” Olivia asked without much thought.
“I promised Noah that I’d come for Christmas,” Barba replied, not following her suggestion, “…I wouldn’t let either of you down.”
“No, I mean stay tonight,” she explained.
“Liv…” He looked unsure.
“This couch pulls out and I have spare pillows and a blanket. It’s cold out there, Rafa...stay tonight and we can all hide out here for the whole of Christmas.” She looked at him hopefully.
“That does sound good,” Barba replied, “…but I feel like I would be intruding on your Christmas with Noah.”
“Rafa, if I felt that way I wouldn’t have invited you,” she assured him. “Honestly, spending the next few days with you will only make our Christmas even more special.”
“If you’re sure…?” Barba started to reply tentatively.
“I’m going to get some bedding before you change your mind,” Olivia announced and then stood to move toward her bedroom. “Noah will be thrilled when you’re still here in the morning.”
Barba sat on the couch looking happy and more than a little stunned, this was not the direction that he had imagined his Christmas would take.
The following morning Barba woke early and had just finished putting their wine glasses in the dishwasher and making some coffee when Noah walked into the kitchen.
“Uncle Rafa! You and mommy had a sleepover?!” Noah gasped excitedly at the unusual sight of his uncle in the kitchen first thing in the morning.
“Mommy invited me to sleep over on the couch,” Barba explained and bent to lift the little boy up onto the counter next to him. “It’s still snowing outside and she didn’t want me to get cold.” He mock-shuddered and Noah laughed.
“That’s nice of Mommy,” Noah said.
“Your mommy is a very nice person,” Barba agreed and then had an idea. “How about we let mommy have a little extra sleep this morning? We could both get ready for the day and then you could help me to make us all some breakfast?”
Noah grinned, “I’d really like that, Uncle Rafa...and I bet Mommy would be really happy.”
“Right,” Barba said decisively, “… let's start by getting you ready, and let's try and stay as quiet as possible so that we don’t wake Mommy, we want this to be our surprise.”
“I love when you visit, Uncle Rafa," Noah told him, "...and it’s even more fun when you don’t go home.”
Olivia woke a little over an hour later and took a deep breath. It took her a moment, but then she blinked her eyes open in surprise as she recognised the smell of bacon, warm fruit, sweet baking, coffee…heaven.
She sat up on the side of her bed and heard her son giggle, then tears welled in her eyes as she heard the unmistakable rumble of her friend’s answering laughter.
Rafael was spending Christmas with them…and all of her senses were telling her that he and her son were making breakfast together.
She stood and slipped on her robe, then quietly walked out toward her kitchen, she suddenly longed to catch a glimpse of them together before they knew that she was up.
When Olivia peeked around the corner both Barba and Noah were facing away from her. Noah was standing on the top of the kitchen steps and leaning against his uncle for security as he watched and then copied, slowly creating what looked like a tray of croissants.
“Mommy likes these, they’re her favorite,” Noah observed as they finished the tray and looked proudly at their creations.
“I know,” Barba acknowledged, “…we want to make Christmas extra special for Mommy, don’t we?”
Noah grinned and nodded, “I like cooking, Uncle Rafa, can you teach me more?”
Barba smiled and nodded, “Sure, my Abuelita always told me that it is important for a young man to know how to cook so that he can look after his mami, then one day when he grows up look after the people he loves.”
“Is that why we’re cooking for Mommy? To show her how much we love her?” Noah asked innocently.
Barba paused for a moment before answering, then cleared his thoughts. “Exactly right, amigo, we’re cooking to show your Mommy how much we love her,” Barba agreed.
Around the corner, Olivia listened to their exchange and brought her hand to her chest as emotions overwhelmed her and tears welled in her eyes.
Over the last few months, she had been feeling frustrated with herself because, in spite of everything she had, a low-level ache had been growing every day. A feeling telling her that something was missing.
Had that missing something been right in front of her the whole time?
Olivia quietly went back to her room, changed into casual clothes and her favorite festive sweater, and then walked out into the kitchen to find Noah stretching across to finish laying the table.
“What’s all this?!” Olivia gasped happily and covered her mouth in slightly exaggerated surprise.
Noah grinned proudly. “Mommy! We made you a special Christmas breakfast!”
“You did? Well, that is special!” She smiled gratefully at Barba, who returned her smile and nodded. “Has Santa been?”
Noah’s eyes widened in shock when he realised that in his excitement at spending time with his Uncle Rafa he hadn’t even thought to look under the tree. He jumped down from the top step, hit the floor with a thud and then scampered into the living area and toward the tree.
“Thank you, Rafa,” Olivia told him gratefully, “…you shouldn’t have.”
“He’s been!” Noah shouted over to them and they both smiled.
Barba shook his head in reply to Olivia. “You invited me for Christmas, I wanted to do something to say thank you. Besides, we had a lot of fun.”
“I can see that.” Olivia nodded at the spread and then looked around to find that even the kitchen had been cleaned and tidied as they cooked. “Everything looks amazing.” She looked over at her son. “Noah, how about we eat and then open our presents?”
Noah gazed around at all of his gifts, but then saw his Mommy and Uncle Rafa sitting down to eat.
Barba held up a freshly baked croissant and waved it at him temptingly. “Are you going to come and eat with us?” He asked.
Noah stood and ran back over, leaving his gifts on the floor. “Sure, Uncle Rafa! Can I have hot chocolate, please?”
“I think we can manage that,” Barba told him then Olivia laughed with surprise when she watched him pour from her grandmother’s old English teapot and saw that it was filled with hot chocolate.
With breakfast clean-up complete, Noah finally managed to pull his focus away from the novelty of their guest and sat on the floor next to the tree looking at all of his exciting gifts.
Barba moved to sit on the couch right next to him and as Olivia walked over to sit alongside he shot her a secretive smile that she didn’t quite understand.
“Now,” Barba turned and spoke to Noah seriously, “…before we start to open our gifts I have a very important message for you.”
Noah looked a little confused but nodded and waited patiently.
“Santa got in touch with me a couple of days ago…” He started.
Noah looked at his mommy, who just shrugged and wordlessly told him to listen to his Uncle Rafa.
“He explained to me that there had been an accident at the North Pole,” Barba continued. “Noah, you still have all of your other gifts from Santa and Mommy, but I’m afraid Rudolph had an accident and sat on the toy you asked Santa for.”
Noah gasped in surprise but he didn’t look too upset.
“Santa has asked me to say that he’s very sorry and that he will do a very special trip out in the New Year just to bring your toy…but it will be a little late,” Barba concluded.
Noah nodded a little sadly now, but then looked at all of his other boxes and bags and smiled. He knew that he was a very lucky boy.
Barba was proud to see that he was taking the ‘news’ so well. “I assured Santa that you would understand, and to tell Rudolph not to worry,” Noah giggled a little and smiled, “…and I went shopping to buy you a special present to keep us both busy until your monkey arrives.”
“Uncle Rafa, how did you know what I asked Santa for?!” Noah gasped.
“He told me!” Barba reminded him with a smile and looked up to see Olivia quickly swipe a happy tear from her cheek.
“Wow, Uncle Rafa, I can’t believe you know Santa!” Noah replied, clearly impressed.
Barba pulled a very nicely wrapped box out of a bag alongside the couch and handed it to Noah, then watched with a smile as he quickly ripped open the wrapping.
“Uncle Rafa! What is this?!” Noah asked, staring at the box.
“It’s a special kind of Lego that has computer bits inside,” Barba explained, “…we’ll have to work on it together, but we’ll be able to build our very own robot!”
“Together?!” Noah asked with tears of excitement glowing in his eyes.
“Together,” Barba confirmed. “A project for us to work on as a team until Santa and Rudolph bring your monkey in the New Year. Is that okay?”
Noah grinned and leapt into Barba’s arms. “It’s the best present ever, thank you!”
As Barba stacked the dishwasher after their Christmas meal, Olivia checked to make sure her son was busy and then snuck back into the kitchen with two glasses of wine.
“I’ve been trying to catch you alone all morning,” she said as Barba sensed her presence and turn to look at her.
“Careful, comments like that could give a man the wrong idea,” he joked as he dried his hands and gratefully accepted the glass she was holding out for him, “…and start rumors at work.”
Olivia smiled dryly and rolled her eyes, then leaned back against the kitchen counter and took a sip from her own glass. Given that his suggestion would be very much the right idea, no comment seemed like the safest response, so she moved forward. “What you did earlier for Noah, I wanted to say thank you. It meant so much to him, and to me…and that gift can’t have been cheap.”
Barba smirked, “I’m going to be honest with you, I would have loved something like that when I was his age, I’m actually almost as eager to start work on it as he is.”
Olivia laughed now. “You’re a wonderful man, Rafael Barba.”
He laughed a little awkwardly and shrugged. “Best lawyer in Manhattan, ask anyone,” he retorted lightly.
Olivia rolled her eyes and then stepped a little closer. “Hey, I know your ego is out of control in the courtroom, but I’m not talking about ADA Barba, I’m talking about Rafael. It didn’t take me long to realise what a good man you are, but it’s more than that. Your instinct is to protect people, especially the vulnerable, that’s more than a choice Rafa. People like you…you make the world a better place just by being in it, by inspiring other people to be better as well.”
“I’ve learned a lot from working with you,” Barba tried to brush off the compliment and was horrified to feel tears welling in his eyes.
Olivia smiled and shook her head, her free hand lifting to rest on his lower arm. “I’d like to hope we’ve encouraged each other to be better…but you, the very essence of who you are…this wonderful, kind, passionate man I’m looking at right now? That’s all you.”
“Liv, I-” Barba started to speak.
“Uncle Rafa, Mommy! Can we watch a Christmas movie?” Noah asked as he ran around into the kitchen area and the adults quickly stepped apart.
Barba coughed, then knocked his glasses up his nose with the back of his hand, before combing his fingers through his hair. “Sure we can,” He replied quickly and tried to compose himself.
Olivia smiled at how flustered he looked but tried to control her own physical reaction. She felt hot, her heart was beating quickly, and her breathing a little short...what was he about to say to her? She moved to step away and was horrified when she stumbled a little and had to catch herself on the counter ledge.
“Mommy, are you okay?” Noah asked, his tone laced with concern.
“Absolutely!” Olivia replied and rushed to guide her son back into the living area. “Let’s go choose a movie, and…and well, then Uncle Rafa will come to join us in a minute.”
Both Benson’s left the kitchen leaving a shellshocked Barba leaning on the kitchen counter and wondering what the hell had just happened.
“Come on, Noah,” Olivia cajoled him patiently later that night, “…bedtime.”
Noah looked to his Uncle Rafa, hoping to find an ally.
“You know that your mom is off work tomorrow as well,” Barba reminded him, “…so you have a whole extra day of Christmas to look forward to and you need some sleep if you’re going to be awake enough to enjoy it.”
Noah smiled now. “You’re staying tonight as well?” He asked excitedly.
“I think I’ve invaded your Christmas for long enough,” Barba explained, “…I’m going to go home later and leave you and your mom to have some time together.”
“No, Uncle Rafa!” Noah protested. “It won’t be the same without you! Please?!”
Olivia laughed, but then took her cue. “I understand if you have plans,” she told her friend, “…but if you would like to stay another night you are more than welcome.”
“I really don’t want to intrude…” Barba started.
“Please, Uncle Rafa!” Noah was practically begging now. “Mommy said that she would make pancakes in the morning, you haven’t even tried Mommy’s pancakes, they’re the best!”
Olivia laughed. “My son might be exaggerating,” she warned him.
“It’s Christmas, Uncle Rafa,” Noah ignored his mom and kept pushing, “…it’s Christmas and everything is always better when the three of us are together!”
Barba looked at Olivia now.
“Pleeeeeease, Uncle Rafa,” Noah didn’t give up. “I swear I’ll go to bed right now!”
Barba could see Olivia smiling at her son’s tactics. “If your mom is sure…”
“Yesssss!” Noah cheered and jumped up to wrap his arms around him. “You’re the best!”
Barba shrugged at Olivia with a slightly bemused smile and she just laughed.
“Right, come on, you promise Uncle Rafa - bed!” Olivia began to stand.
Noah sighed but was still grinning as he stood and trailed after his mom on the way to his bedroom. “Goodnight, Uncle Rafa!” He called back happily. “I love you!”
Barba smiled. “I love you too, Noah,” he called after him and then sat for a minute trying to process his thoughts.
Olivia arrived back about fifteen minutes later and smiled when she saw a glass of red wine waiting for her on the coffee table, it was almost as though they had developed a routine.
“It’s official, Rafa, my son adores you,” Olivia told him as she sat and sipped her wine.
Barba shook his head, “I have no idea why, but I’m not complaining. He’s a great kid, Liv.”
“He is,” she agreed, “…but I see no mystery in why he loves you so much.”
Barba looked a little self-conscious but smiled gratefully. “Thank you for indulging Noah’s demands, I’m sure that you weren’t expecting me to gatecrash your whole holiday.”
“I meant what I said,” Olivia assured, “…I’ve loved having you here. You’re not just here as a playmate for my son, Rafa. You’re my closest friend and having you with us this Christmas has…” she paused unable to find the words.
“Olivia?” Barba asked with a little concern.
She was silent for a moment and looked at him a little quizzically, almost as though deciding whether to voice what she wanted to say. The quiet thrum of Olivia's favorite Christmas music was the only sound in the room.
“The past few months…” Olivia started cautiously, “…maybe even as much as a year…” She paused again.
Barba frowned and leaned in a little, he caught her eyes and fixed her with a firm gaze. “You can tell me anything, Liv.”
She took a small breath and nodded, there was only one road for her from here and suddenly she could only imagine walking that road with him. Maybe everything had been leading her here.
“I’ve been feeling like something is missing,” Olivia started to explain, “…something I’ve not been able to identify. I love my life with Noah, I love my job, I love my friends…”
“You’re not happy?” He asked with genuine concern.
“I am,” she smiled at him, “…I’m happy, I’m grateful, I’m…” She paused again and then looked at him and finally said. “I’m not looking for a man, I’m not looking for love...and I wasn’t looking to find something that I didn’t have.”
Barba nodded, he looked a little confused by her sudden insistence and Olivia couldn’t help but smile.
“I wasn’t looking for love, Rafa,” she repeated, “…but I found you anyway.”
His eyes widened.
“Is it possible that you could be the something that I’ve been looking for?”
“What are you saying…?” He asked.
“I’m saying that I’ve fallen in love with you,” Olivia clarified.
Their lips were suddenly less than a couple of inches apart and both felt at least 50% of the oxygen leave the room. This was really it, the point of no return.
“Rafa…” Olivia fought to find the right words as their heated breaths blended. “Rafa, I…”
“Liv…?” He asked, a million questions hidden inside the way he said her name.
“Yes,” she replied in an attempt to answer all of his questions and silence her own. After all, wasn’t this far more simple than she had convinced herself it needed to be? If he wanted this she would walk through fire to make this work. A nervous smile twitched slightly at the corner of her mouth. “If you think you might want that too?”
After struggling to find the right words for so long, Barba was overwhelmed to suddenly find so many thoughts, feelings, hopes and desires being shared with barely any words at all.
He leaned in to close the remaining gap and their lips met, lightly at first, almost teasing. His lips brushed hers once, twice, revelling in her soft warmth as Olivia moved toward him and he began to lay back.
As they moved slightly apart Olivia rested their foreheads together. “Rafa…” She breathed.
The longing in her voice hit him like a punch to the gut and he surged upward, finally claiming her mouth in a passionate kiss that made their heads swim as their hands enjoyed eager and long-denied freedom to touch.
“God, Liv…” Barba almost growled as they parted for breath.
He brought both of his hands to either side of Olivia’s waist as she lifted a leg and encouraged him to lie on the couch.
“I must have been really good this year,” Olivia joked. She touched her smiling lips lightly to his and closed her eyes as his heat pressed against her core.
Barba watched the way her mouth fell open a little on a small gasp, then licked his lips. “I’m what? Your gift from Santa?” He tried to ask lightly, but the superficiality of his words was lost in the wonder laced through his tone.
“You are my gift, Rafa,” she replied softly, “…you’re…” emotion broke her words for a moment and then she concluded, “…if this is as real for you as it is for me, you’re all I want.”
“You must know that I love you?” Barba asked. He was suddenly terrified to allow any room for misunderstandings, he felt sure that his heart couldn’t survive anything less than everything with her. “I am completely in love with you.”
“Maybe we could be…” Olivia paused, evidently searching for the right words again. “Rafa, I think everything could feel a whole lot easier if I had this to come home to. Don’t you?”
“You mean this?” Barba asked, smiling as he stretched up a little and kissed her lips.
Olivia hummed in agreement as they wrapped back into each other’s arms and her hand slipped under Barba’s sweater.
At around dawn the following morning, Olivia woke with a smile and with her eyes still closed stroked her hand over Barba’s chest. She lifted her leg to hook her foot over his calf and hummed happily. “I could get used to this,” she whispered and kissed his skin as her new lover’s arms tightened around her.
“For a moment I’d assumed it had all been a dream,” Barba replied and kissed her temple.
“You dream of this often?” Olivia teased, lifting her head a little so that she could kiss along his collarbone.
“I plead the fifth,” he replied with laughter in his voice.
Olivia smiled and relaxed into his arms for several minutes before she finally groaned quietly and started to sit up. “We need to get dressed,” she explained, “…Noah will be in here at some ungodly hour and he doesn’t need to have all of his childhood memories sullied by the sight of his mommy ravishing his Uncle Rafa.”
Barba chuckled deeply now, the rumbling of his chest causing Olivia’s body to react so powerfully that she had to mentally stop herself from curling back into his arms.
“Ravishing?” He asked, his sleepy eyes crinkling at the edges as he smiled.
“Waking up curled around an extremely naked Rafael Barba? Lord, please save me from temptation,” Olivia explained with twinkling eyes.
“I love you,” Barba replied and then sat up to lightly stroke his fingers over her hair before tucking a strand behind her ear. “I’m the luckiest person on the planet.”
“You should take a look at my view,” Olivia retorted and leaned in to kiss him. She allowed herself a moment to relax into his lips as she registered for the first time how completely happy and comfortable she felt in his arms. Now their insecurities were overcome they finally had each other and all of her worries and concerns about her future seemed to have drifted into the background. Suddenly it felt like the three of them would be able to face anything together.
“Rafa, we really do need to get up,” she told him regretfully as she moved away.
Barba reached over to pick his glasses up from the nightstand, then his eyes openly scanned her naked form with appreciation as she reached for her robe.
“Enjoying the view?” She teased.
“Very much so,” Barba retorted with a lazy smirk.
“I’m so glad you left your lenses at home,” she admitted, “…the glasses are pretty hot.”
“I’ll never take them off again,” Barba teased but was obviously surprised by her appreciation.
Olivia bent to pick his shirt up from the floor and threw it at his face. “Get up, Rafa!” She hissed as quietly as she could manage. “Get a shower, I’ll go out and start breakfast.”
“Sex makes you bossy,” Barba joked as he came out from behind his shirt, “…and violent.”
“Go get your shower,” she replied softly, “…and tonight I might think about letting you take charge.”
Barba groaned and then laughed when she exaggeratedly tilted her hips in the doorway. “I’m in so much trouble,” he mumbled to himself as he climbed out of Olivia Benson’s bed.
Once he’d washed and dressed Olivia suggested that Noah might like to start putting away some of his Christmas toys. He left his special Lego set out on the coffee table, then carefully took his other gifts through to his room to put away while his mommy started to make breakfast.
A few minutes later, Olivia was about to cook the pancakes when a warm pair of arms wrapped around her waist from behind. Barba’s hand slipped inside her robe and rested on her waist as his soft lips traced up her neck and she felt every inch of her body react to his touch.
Leaning back against him she tilted her head to the side and encouraged the steady ascent of his mouth.
“Mmmmm…you look edible,” he whispered near her ear.
“Noah,” Olivia cautioned him.
“I just spoke to him,” Barba assured her, “…he’ll be a few minutes.”
Olivia quickly turned in his arms and wasted no time falling into a deep and probing kiss. “We need to go away for a few days,” she suggested as they started to move apart for air, “…soon. I have a lot to get out of my system.”
Barba smirked. “Just the two of us?” He clarified.
“Amanda could have Noah for a weekend, we don’t even need to go anywhere, I could stay at yours. We could live off pizza, only dress to answer the door,” she suggested as her lips trailed down his neck.
“I love the way your mind works,” Barba agreed. His hands moved around to stroke over her ass before he quickly stepped away on hearing Noah’s bedroom door open.
“Uncle Rafa, can we start our robot Lego today?” Noah asked eagerly as he walked into the kitchen.
Barba smiled and lifted Noah up onto the kitchen counter so that he was almost level with them. “That sounds like a great idea - but first, how about we finish off breakfast for mommy while she has a nice long shower?”
“Sure, Uncle Rafa!” Noah agreed.
“They’ll still be the best pancakes in Manhattan because mommy already made the mix,” Barba pointed out and Noah laughed happily.
Watching her new lover engage so effortlessly with her son Olivia fought a near-overwhelming desire to kiss him again. These weren’t exactly new feelings, this constant desire to kiss him, but now that she knew that she could…and now that she knew how amazing his lips felt against hers…the temptation was nearly insurmountable.
“Life’s too short,” she muttered under her breath and then surprised Barba by leaning in and lightly pressing her lips to his. She held them there for a moment, in a chaste but surprisingly heated kiss, then stepped back and kissed the side of her son’s head before turning away and walking around the corner with a broad smile on her face.
“Uncle Rafa,” Noah spoke and broke through Barba’s shock. “Mommy just kissed you, she kissed you on your lips.”
“Hmm?” Barba said, dropping back to earth and turning to look at Noah and see his wide eyes gazing at him for an explanation.
“Mommy - she just kissed you, Uncle Rafa. It was just like when Jacob’s daddy kisses his other daddy when he gets home from work. Do you and Mommy kiss now?” Noah asked.
“I guess we do…” Barba smiled happily and then chuckled a little with lingering surprise. His lips were still tingling slightly from her unexpected kiss.
“For Christmas?” Noah wasn't sure if that was something grownups did, so he needed a little clarification.
“Noah,” Barba replied, “…if your mommy lets me I’d like to kiss her every single day for the rest of my life.”
The little boy grinned, this was better than all of his gifts put together, even his robot! “I think that means you’ll definitely visit more often, Uncle Rafa!”
Noah decided that this had been the best Christmas ever. In fact, if he'd known that whole people were a possibility he would have just asked Santa for Uncle Rafa instead of that silly monkey!
THE END